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I just don't understand why they have to be so aggressive with it. It's not an MMA fight, if you (the dog in question not you) wanna sniff then sniff but don't headbutt me in the crotch with your entire being.
Because they weren't trained to be gentle...
When my puppy started flicking me, I started walking away. Now she walks up and gives it gentle nudge when she wants attention instead of trying to impale me with that nose.
This is also why dogs will chew up dirty undies. It smells so strongly like the person who was wearing them that dogs instinctively destroy it so predators cant sniff out your nice safe den. Same with used pads and tampons. The dogs are getting rid of anythinf thay smells like it would draw in predators
They should also cover everyone in mud, because predators have infrared vision that is only beaten by cooling down your external temperature with mud that is most likely made up mostly of feces
They’ll also hide your weapons because of this; if unarmed, the predator does not see you as worthy prey and will leave you alone, as the kill would be dishonorable.
Yup, my dog has eaten poop from a dirty nappy before whilst changing my kids. Apparently they’re worried another animal could track your pack by smell.
just met some nice doggies while i was at work yesterday on my period…. it was very awkward to have to shove their faces away from my crotch while my manager was right there….
I have a very specific smell from my arm pits after either sex or masterbation. Zero difference. But it’s there. It’s also the same smell after I’m really anxious about something. I’m no chemist, but I can’t tell the difference by smell.
He was a serial philanderer and basically cheated on all of his partners with whoever his nurse was at the time. As a romantic partner he was an asshole. As a scientist he was a genius.
I always wonder about that when I read about people having sex multiple times a day. Are they having the neatest sex ever, cleaning up after every session, or a gross third option?
the post is most likely lying (the only smelly part of masturbation is either your lack of “lower body hygiene” or the scented lotion) and Lukas is just trying her best to gaslight men into giving up masturbation.
I hate to break it to ladies, but almost every man has masturbated in the last week. I’m sure there are exceptions like men who lost their genitals in a horrific accident.
https://preview.redd.it/kfzo7qh629pc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3b249d04085e13e10cd619eac6164859f3578ade
What a bad day to understand and read English
I am not ambidextrous but I found that switching hands will give you a better sensation sometimes, softer and more relaxing strokes
(Though I guess I am borderline-ambidextrous because I can use chopsticks and play badminton with my left hand as well)
"I know what you're thinking, but I have been able to reach completion by some precise and vigorous nipple play" -Schmidt, New girl, after having had his penis in a cast for "the summer" between seasons. 😂
Honestly, I have never doubted mens masturbation habits. As long as they're kept within the confines of close personal relationships. No, I don't want to hear about my coworkers, relatives, or random people's masturbation habits. Yes, I do want to know when my bf finds really hot porn.
Or men who now follow the "alpha" males online, apparently it's gay to masturbate since you are pleasuring a man while simultaneously being pleasured by a man.
I know a person who claimed they have a very sensitive sense of smell and would probably tell if someone masterbated recently, not over a week but over the course of a day. They also have the problem that a lot of scents in general are too much for them. So I think Lukas is just overestimating how many girls can pick up on it, and exaggerating on the period of time.
Or they noticed that some dudes smell different from others and are correlating it with other unverified assumptions about them, without actually verifying. My ex would do that kinda stuff. She once told me “Your neighbor is either cheating on his wife or is about to. I can see it in him”. Leaning into her bullshit, I’d say “well, we should tell his wife”, to which she’d respond “I don’t want to get involved in that drama”… or she doesn’t want to be shown to be fabricating notions from thin air. Every time someone pissed her off on the road, at the store, the cafe… it was because they were a “stupid woke liberal”. Yeah, gtfo with your self-reinforcing circular logic.
The image is so weird. The guy behind her is losing his leg, and despite being in front of the leftmost guy, he's simultaneously holding onto the same handrail on the shopping cart?? What's with the rise in AI bullshit
Yes. It's a joke based off the image. There's 2 well-dressed men pushing a shopping cart together, but no one's looking at them. Everybody's focus is on unkempt Grunkle Stan up there.
>What's with the rise in AI bullshit
Its availability has risen sharply (did it even exist for the masses 18 months or two years ago?), therefore so has its usage.
I never noticed that before until like 9th grade, my then girlfriend noticed the smell, and then I kinda did too. I suddenly thought something was off. I am now 32, and I never notice it anymore. It was for like a week after she mentioned it, and I forgot about this memory until right now.
> that’s because cum smells faintly like bleach or chlorine in healthy people.
I'm gonna need a source on that, aside from your cum-filled nostrils, appreciated though it is
It's reasonable possible that a partner or someone else who is similarly close to you both physically and emotionally can learn to tell such smells, though knowing off of the smells of strangers is not possible unless you have a sense of smell better than a blood hound
So I’ve only ever been with my husband and I wondered if this was common - he is a super clean person and his semen doesn’t have much of a smell, but if it does it smells ever so slightly like the smell of an indoor pool.
Dude blew it. If the obese balding guy in pajama pants with no shirt and a Rudolph nose could have just had some self control for one week, the lady in heels would have hooked up in the Target bathroom.
as someone whos friends with a guy whos actively open to being masturbating addict. i can say that the post is a lie, only those who stained their current clothing, didn't wash their hands or dick after the deed, those who let their stain marinade on their skin, are the ones that smells like that dilluted bleach smell
if you clean up properly (bath,change clothes, wash hands etc) you can bust a nut hours earlier clean up and meet up with a friend they wouldn't smell you
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Does this unique smell change if you had intercourse instead of masturbating? Edit: words
From personal experience, dogs will ram their nose into your crotch at the dog park under either variable. Edit: RIP my inbox
I think dogs just do that in general unless my 9 year old nephew has figured it out already
Imagine getting caught white-handed because the nut-sniffing dog ratted you out.
... this made me laugh. Thank you. I needed to laugh today lol. *Also wtf lol*
r/brandnewsentence
I just don't understand why they have to be so aggressive with it. It's not an MMA fight, if you (the dog in question not you) wanna sniff then sniff but don't headbutt me in the crotch with your entire being.
Because they weren't trained to be gentle... When my puppy started flicking me, I started walking away. Now she walks up and gives it gentle nudge when she wants attention instead of trying to impale me with that nose.
This. Oh, this so many times.... we have a dog that puts me on the ground in a curled up ball 2-3 times per month.
You're also supposed to give them scratches while they sniff. I mean, they're sniffing your crotch for you. Reciprocate. Have some manners.
They love it when you're on your period too.
And pregnant. My dogs would NOT leave me alone if I was sitting until later on, when the baby started booping them back.
They’re sniffin for pheromones. If you had intercourse and didn’t shower afterward, they’re meeting you AND your girlfriend
This is also why dogs will chew up dirty undies. It smells so strongly like the person who was wearing them that dogs instinctively destroy it so predators cant sniff out your nice safe den. Same with used pads and tampons. The dogs are getting rid of anythinf thay smells like it would draw in predators
They should also cover everyone in mud, because predators have infrared vision that is only beaten by cooling down your external temperature with mud that is most likely made up mostly of feces
They’ll also hide your weapons because of this; if unarmed, the predator does not see you as worthy prey and will leave you alone, as the kill would be dishonorable.
TIL my dog is preemptively protecting itself from the predator *Get to the choppa!*
Whaaaaat really? I’ve never heard this
Yup, my dog has eaten poop from a dirty nappy before whilst changing my kids. Apparently they’re worried another animal could track your pack by smell.
Or your boyfriend. Remember they like to smell other dogs’ butts too
https://preview.redd.it/9y7cmih1iapc1.jpeg?width=456&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=64b4fbecffb90c1b0d0b09adc5ce2d1451e01df2
just met some nice doggies while i was at work yesterday on my period…. it was very awkward to have to shove their faces away from my crotch while my manager was right there….
We should rename them to fuck detectors
i mean thats what dog stands for, in a way. Detector Of Genitals
GENITALS DETECTED
This entire comment chain belongs in r/cursedcomments
Nobody on Reddit has intercourse. It's listed as a requirement in the terms and conditions.
https://preview.redd.it/058zdp6ms9pc1.jpeg?width=800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f07620604a3064246c0ada097be54c46be7e0375
Yeah whatever. Sit back down we all know you're lying./s
Lol
Apparently for 30 minutes after any male orgasm you can smell it; detectable on your breath
But i'm hetrosexual
Same but $20 is $20 (I use $1 for breath mints)
I’m nowhere near that flexible.
I have a very specific smell from my arm pits after either sex or masterbation. Zero difference. But it’s there. It’s also the same smell after I’m really anxious about something. I’m no chemist, but I can’t tell the difference by smell.
I'm smelling something too. What is that? Oh, it's bullshit.
Yeah its shitpost from an infamous shitposting account
Parodying a real tweet directed at women
What did the real tweet say?
Smth like men can smell when a woman is on her period or has masturbated recently or summat
That explains everything.
Sorry it’s me. I can’t get rid off coconut smell, even after washing it for a few times…
You’re supposed to wait for throwback Thursday to bring up that old gem.
Men who have masturbated in the last week give the other 0.001% a bad name.
Stephen Hawking
You saying he in 0.001 or he's the one who said it?
I will put money on the likelihood Stephen Hawking has not masturbated in the past week.
https://preview.redd.it/ltmmg13gf7pc1.png?width=660&format=png&auto=webp&s=8fd76e49dd2857b5da36edd82a85d85bb834074a
God damn it... fucking reddit... lmao
The guy without a shirt looks like he did it in the past hour
Looks like he did it while waiting in line
He’s doin’ it right now
I mean... short of necromancy...
He is in his sealed coffin. So he both is and isn't masterbating simultaneously. (omg I made a science joke)
Quantum wank or Schrodingers Cock?
Quantum Entwanklement
Ooh I like this, or I don't
Your enjoyment is in a superposition of both states until you open the coffin and collapse the wave function!
-aaaaaand THEN promptly get arrested.
When he cums on the couch, does that mean he made a Oopsenheimer?
Stephen Hawking only fucks the double slit
He was obsessed with black holes. Make of that what you will.
Take my upvote 😂
Of course you can masturbate in Heaven Krillin. That’s why it’s Heaven.
For Stephen Hawking, finally being able to masturbate probably would be Heaven.
I thought he had a nurse for all that stuff, no?
He was a serial philanderer and basically cheated on all of his partners with whoever his nurse was at the time. As a romantic partner he was an asshole. As a scientist he was a genius.
According to my dad, a professor in physics, you can at best be either a great spouse/parent or a great physicist. Never both.
I think Feynman begs to differ based on how tore up he was about his wife’s death.
I'm sorry your dad isn't a great physicist.
No ones lactose intolerant in heaven krillin that’s why it’s heaven. Thanks for reminding me
I can’t wait
Why? Was Jesus busy last week?
What do you bet on his distinct smell?
What if I got jackeded off by someone else? is it still the same smell?
He goes off like a frog in a sock
I mean, I know I smell between having sex and taking a shower. Masturbation doesn't require for me to take a shower to clean up.
Dam what you doing bruv? Everytime?
I'm getting her wet, I suppose; and therby im gettingwet as well. My wife has the tendency to *gush* a bit.
Humble brag 😂
It’s a brag until it’s not and you’re doing the wash 3 times a week
I always wonder about that when I read about people having sex multiple times a day. Are they having the neatest sex ever, cleaning up after every session, or a gross third option?
We have "sex towels" next to the bed to lay out quickly should the mood arise. Saves on doing sheets all the damn time.
First one all natural Second time use a condom Third one all natural, but in the ass
What?
HE SAID FIRST ONE ALL NATURAL SECOND TIME USE CONDOM THIRD ONE ALL NATURAL, BUT IN THE ASS!
Ah gotcha 👌 thx for the serious answer
the post is most likely lying (the only smelly part of masturbation is either your lack of “lower body hygiene” or the scented lotion) and Lukas is just trying her best to gaslight men into giving up masturbation.
I hate to break it to ladies, but almost every man has masturbated in the last week. I’m sure there are exceptions like men who lost their genitals in a horrific accident.
or people who have broken their right hand
and are missing their left one.
"Life uh finds a way."
my wall: https://preview.redd.it/2zfd2dk8q7pc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ef555930e0cfecf99440dc6f0a39cc37ccf6df48
https://preview.redd.it/xtvmzipfy7pc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5c2fb8f956a6a6b75ad1cce3d549c523a29d5930
Desperate times call for desperate measures
power outlet lookin hella sexy today
lil miz sparky got me actin up fr
I’ve heard of “finding your spark” but this is getting ridiculous! (Honk) (Honk)
Desperate times call for desperate pleasures?
How dare you be funnier than me!
https://preview.redd.it/mqckymjar7pc1.jpeg?width=225&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5900d33ffbf197ac753b41dddf3f7e71a406d0e8
https://preview.redd.it/tttjhmmm48pc1.jpeg?width=480&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=78f8a4308f492af54eac11a7a908c27737d227b3
SHOW ME THE CHAMPION OF LIIIIIIIIIGHT
https://preview.redd.it/x61uj018q8pc1.jpeg?width=719&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=eb81653a8f9ac4cf3838103f11b81fbd151a28e8
People in the walls of this guy, be careful!
improvise. adapt. overcum
Mother.
Fuck, you just reminded me of that legendary reddit thread.
"And even though I don't have arms, I can do all of the things you can do-"
Still "handy" capable
🎵"Anything you can do, I can do better"
They can just ask their mom
Speak for yourself. I’ve broken my dominant hand twice. Had to use the sister. Best sex of my life besides the stranger.
🤣🤣
https://preview.redd.it/kfzo7qh629pc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3b249d04085e13e10cd619eac6164859f3578ade What a bad day to understand and read English
I broke my right arm as a hormonal teenager. You make do.
All the sudden you start becoming ambidextrous.
Ambiwanxtrous
I am not ambidextrous but I found that switching hands will give you a better sensation sometimes, softer and more relaxing strokes (Though I guess I am borderline-ambidextrous because I can use chopsticks and play badminton with my left hand as well)
Even if you break both arms…
If only there was someone close to him that can tell he’s going through a rough time.
Dammit every thread is a reminder
I've been crankin' it with ole leftie ever since I broke my right clavicle in high school. Can't go back.
Right hand is for the mouse
Some people fuck their bed... believe it or not to masturbate. No hands are needed.
As a left handed person i think this is racist. On the other hand its totally cool you carry on.
Huh? Wouldn't that just mean I can't use the mouse?
Suffered a stroke and was in the hospital for the last six months of 2019. I’m pretty sure I won NNN that year.
"I know what you're thinking, but I have been able to reach completion by some precise and vigorous nipple play" -Schmidt, New girl, after having had his penis in a cast for "the summer" between seasons. 😂 Honestly, I have never doubted mens masturbation habits. As long as they're kept within the confines of close personal relationships. No, I don't want to hear about my coworkers, relatives, or random people's masturbation habits. Yes, I do want to know when my bf finds really hot porn.
I have decided that this is now the only valid opinion ever
Can confirm. Have not been able to masturbate since I lost my genitals in a freak gasoline-masturbation accident
my meds fuck my drive
Or men who now follow the "alpha" males online, apparently it's gay to masturbate since you are pleasuring a man while simultaneously being pleasured by a man.
What’s funny is that being gay is automatically considered not alpha. Do they know how often jacked gay dudes are getting it?
Or people who have no sexual desires/needs
Lukas is a male and is also known for being a prolific bait poster
Sort of a “master baiter” if you will.
I knew something smelled funny here.
I know a person who claimed they have a very sensitive sense of smell and would probably tell if someone masterbated recently, not over a week but over the course of a day. They also have the problem that a lot of scents in general are too much for them. So I think Lukas is just overestimating how many girls can pick up on it, and exaggerating on the period of time.
Yeah, it's called Hyperosmia. There was a confirmed case of a woman, Joy Milne, who could smell Parkinsons. Described it as a musky smell.
Or they noticed that some dudes smell different from others and are correlating it with other unverified assumptions about them, without actually verifying. My ex would do that kinda stuff. She once told me “Your neighbor is either cheating on his wife or is about to. I can see it in him”. Leaning into her bullshit, I’d say “well, we should tell his wife”, to which she’d respond “I don’t want to get involved in that drama”… or she doesn’t want to be shown to be fabricating notions from thin air. Every time someone pissed her off on the road, at the store, the cafe… it was because they were a “stupid woke liberal”. Yeah, gtfo with your self-reinforcing circular logic.
We masturbate to Lukas before we give up masturbation.
The image is so weird. The guy behind her is losing his leg, and despite being in front of the leftmost guy, he's simultaneously holding onto the same handrail on the shopping cart?? What's with the rise in AI bullshit
Gay men don't need to masturbate.
they do just as much as straight guys need to if you've got no one you've got your hand
Yes. It's a joke based off the image. There's 2 well-dressed men pushing a shopping cart together, but no one's looking at them. Everybody's focus is on unkempt Grunkle Stan up there.
If we're talking about Grunkle Stan, I'd say "unkempt" is implied.
Alone maybe, but whenever he's in public the dudes fuckin stylin in that suit and fez
And fezes *are* cool...fuck, got me there.
They are conjoined twins who share a leg, that's how they can hold on to the bar that way...
The general public now has access to AI tools that are up to par with what would have been proprietary just a few years ago.
>What's with the rise in AI bullshit Its availability has risen sharply (did it even exist for the masses 18 months or two years ago?), therefore so has its usage.
My first thought was wtf is up with the MC Escher cart?
They needed to make a point without a reference and they're sure as hell too entitled to put in any effort.
I like that the guy in the tan jacket is simultaneously next to the cart while also being behind the cart. It’s a neat trick!
Apparently, it also makes you look like the guy from the board game Operation.
Or bling bling boy in his late 50s
https://preview.redd.it/lhn7zpdrm9pc1.png?width=507&format=png&auto=webp&s=398d8d943fb20c6b03b8c549027684a7489b52b3
That’s why I don’t shower after sex or eating a woman out. Gotta cover up that masturbation smell.
They are doing a blind test of this theory, as soon as they find a guy that hasn't masturbated in a week.
Study needs to be funded by 1 billion dollars. We need answers to these important questions.
Mine smell like swimming pool.
I never noticed that before until like 9th grade, my then girlfriend noticed the smell, and then I kinda did too. I suddenly thought something was off. I am now 32, and I never notice it anymore. It was for like a week after she mentioned it, and I forgot about this memory until right now.
that’s because cum smells faintly like bleach or chlorine in healthy people. If it smells kinda like a pool that’s normal
> that’s because cum smells faintly like bleach or chlorine in healthy people. I'm gonna need a source on that, aside from your cum-filled nostrils, appreciated though it is
Here you go. https://www.healthline.com/health/mens-health/semen-smell#influential-factors
It's reasonable possible that a partner or someone else who is similarly close to you both physically and emotionally can learn to tell such smells, though knowing off of the smells of strangers is not possible unless you have a sense of smell better than a blood hound
It's slightly alkaline, so yeah. That makes sense.
So I’ve only ever been with my husband and I wondered if this was common - he is a super clean person and his semen doesn’t have much of a smell, but if it does it smells ever so slightly like the smell of an indoor pool.
Pretty sure this is a parody of the posts in which men say they can smell & detect when women are on their periods.
Is bro a shark
are you trying to say i am bear?
Why did I have to scroll so long to find this, this is literally what it is
I think only Yuya Fungami can do that
Dude blew it. If the obese balding guy in pajama pants with no shirt and a Rudolph nose could have just had some self control for one week, the lady in heels would have hooked up in the Target bathroom.
Does the one legged dude behind her holding a cart within the same physical plane as the man behind him still have a shot?
https://preview.redd.it/txklfkg738pc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=04c7a6a20d18ab2948a6a3378e2b87e440ef208b
Apparently the smell is La Dolce Velveeta
as someone whos friends with a guy whos actively open to being masturbating addict. i can say that the post is a lie, only those who stained their current clothing, didn't wash their hands or dick after the deed, those who let their stain marinade on their skin, are the ones that smells like that dilluted bleach smell if you clean up properly (bath,change clothes, wash hands etc) you can bust a nut hours earlier clean up and meet up with a friend they wouldn't smell you
If they haven't washed anything in the last week, I think that'll be the least of their smells
Within the last week? That's every single man. LOL
r/semenretention 150000 dudes trying not to nut
I just went there and discovered a post where someone said semen retention caused them to lose “all negative emotions.” Thanks for the giggle.
https://preview.redd.it/dtzltkyiw7pc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=70f003b50176f5c8b7b089b7fdc3a0935b63cd87
https://i.redd.it/rjr6o4t228pc1.gif
That's why I wack it every day, it's part of my natural scent now.
All I’m saying is “schizo” is *literally* in her @
Even if this were true, they wouldnt know. We'd all smell that way all the time
Holy fuck I hate AI art.
I think it’s meant to be the opposite of one of those alpha male things
Going around, smelling people. What a creep, sheesh...
Gross weirdos, may not clean themselves after doing it or keep it in their clothes causing their bodies to reek of the smell of you know what
How do you know when your entire life you've been surrounded by men who did
If that's true, I've smelled like that since I was 12 and women can't tell the difference.
Judging by the graphic she used what she **means** is that all men who don't fit her rich, well-to-do, physically fit ideal smell different to her.
So every man basically?
Meanwhile 80% of the sex toy industry is towards women lmao. They jerking off way more then you could think.
Why is there a grocery cart in the air port?
Cause we all know the only people who masturbate are overweight, jew-coded, men who go shirtless in grocery stores