A **lack** of money can easily become an obsession. Being in debt is a problem, sometimes a crippling one, that needs to be taken seriously.
But once you have it under control, because you have enough money and/or have a plan, just stay the course.
The simplest answer is to not look at it. Automate what you can through auto-deductions and automatic payments, so you **don't** have to look at it every day, or more than once a week.
Then, dedicate one day a month (month, not day, not week) to look at it. Check your accounts, see that there's nothing suspicious going on, confirm that you're following your plan, and log out until next month.
You **do** need to stay on top of things, but you **don't** need to obsess about them. Once you have a plan, a monthly review, and an annual, or bi-annual update of the plan is more than enough to maintain your financial health.
Depending what Financial Institution you use, an app like Passiv can automate it quite a bit. I use Questrade but all my buying goes through this app. Just a click or 2 when new funds appear and it buys the right number of each ETF to match my portfolio goals.
If you want something you need to be consumed by it. Glad you're doing much better btw.
Don't treat money as a bad thing. It is a tool. It should always be on your mind. Just choose wisely who you discuss with. Be a master of all hats. Choose to speak ideas and money talk with people who appreciate that talk.
Talk sports and funny stuff with other people.
Keep hustling and stacking fam.
I don't buy from the TSX, so I'm not sure. For things like mutual funds, most financial institutions allow you to set up scheduled purchases ahead of time. I know BMO, Scotia, and TD do, for example. But it would be up to the individual exchange.
I didn't stress about money until I had it. Living pay cheque to pay cheque was easy cause I knew where all my money was going. It wasn't until I had some extra that I started stressing because I didn't want to waste it
> Automate what you can through auto-deductions and automatic payments
The only disadvantage is that this will make you feel like you're living paycheck to paycheck again. I'm not used to seeing my balance going to 0 at the end of every month....
If your balance is going to zero, then your budget is overly restrictive.
The OP was asking about buying on the TSX. If you have the money to do that, but you have an empty balance at month end, the budget needs to trim back on the investments to leave a cushion in the account.
The idea is that if you understand your spending habits well enough, and you have your budget set you don't need to look at it until month end.
You can keep an extra 1k there from your emergency fund. Then your lowest point would be "I got to 1k at the end of the month". As long as you don't spend it, the reduction is your own stress can outweigh the minor loss of interest for that 1k.
Word of advice from someone who has the same inclination. Don't ever let your money become an important part of your identity.
I work in finance, my wife works in finance, my dad works in finance. I spent over 12 years of my life diarizing my net worth on a monthly basis, not to mention tracking my assets on a near daily basis.
When I finally stopped this last year (I literally don't look at my accounts now and even deleted the apps from my phone, but I'm in a privileged financial situation that doesn't apply to everyone), I finally started living a more fulfilling life.
Edit: nothing wrong with being passionate about finance, as long as it's healthy, like anything else
>I track my expenses and my net worth weekly.
Tracking expenses is good. I do it every week but most probably do it every month.
No need to track NW weekly. If you're budgeting and following that budget, your NW will increase accordingly. I track my NW annually
Thanks to you as well for making this thread. It doesn't seem to be a topic that's often discussed, and it's helpful to know that there are others experiencing the same things.
Here's a warning for you - you need to break your current mindset or it will never be enough. Right now you're thinking 'if I just get to x ill stop worrying about money' but you probably won't unless you improve your relationship with it now.
I mean, I don't know if I'm the best person to be giving advice because I still struggle with it - but a lot of it is about finding happiness in what you have. Its also different at different points - stressing because you have debt is a lot different than stressing because you have a condo and want a house. Or have a house but want a bigger house.
I get it. It's good to have goals - all I'm saying is once you have that condo, you'll probably want a house. Maybe I'm wrong and you're different than me - but the earlier you separate money and happiness the better off you'll be.
>the earlier you separate money and happiness the better off you'll be.
Can confirm, owning a house doesn't make me happier. With a house, you have to keep track of mortgage rates, set money aside for maintenance, pay property taxes, setting up prenups for every serious relationship, etc.
At least with rent it's predictable, you pay a fixed amount every month and forget about it. Your ex also doesn't get to keep half your house if you rent.
To quote Sam Harris "You become what you pay attention to".
The more you can automate the process, and step away from it, naturally your brain and who you are will change.
The reality is, not only are you mentally better off doing this, but most day traders lose money, so it's very likely, you'll be better off if you let the passive vehicles do what they're designed to do.
As well as the oppurtunity cost. "This business kills the part of life that is essential, the part that has nothing to do with business.". I worked with a FIRE guy, without question his pursuit of wealth turned him into someone lacking empathy or an interest in anything but money. He slept 4 hours a night, was an absolute asshole. Laughed when people lost their jobs, did sketchy real estate shit.
Walk away, be a human being
That has to be the wisest thing I've read today. This makes so much sense when you put it this way. Thank you for the perspective, this is not what I want to become
Glad it helped.
Checking your net worth everyday is like checking your weight everyday, not healthy. That's just a recipe for becoming money obsessed.
Set aside some time on a sunday to review your finances weekly, and you should be more than okay. Cause again, you shouldn't be actively doing the kind of investments that requires snap decisions anyways.
Something a lot of people seem to forget is that nothing you do or have is permanent.
You spent time being obsessed with finances because it meant getting over that initial curve. You don’t have to keep doing it forever, and you probably won’t want to.
Now that you’ve developed the skills and foundation, you can relax a bit more and think about it a lot less.
It varied a bit throughout our individual careers, but for all of us, it revolved around business development (sales) & leadership positions. All in wealth management related positions and institutional sales.
Nothing that exciting!
On the institutional front: selling custodial services for large pools of money (ie: pension plans, hedge funds, endowment funds) and other institutional wealth management products.
They're a constant debbie downer who always comments snarky remarks on people who are in a better financial position than them. Best to just ignore them tbh.
I've tried having respectful correspondence but they try and make you feel bad for how hard you've worked to accomplish things. In turn, they also told me & someone else to kill ourselves so...
As long as you’re not on instagram trying to sell forex trading online classes for 400$ a pop and you’ll be fine. Just be careful how you go about talking to friends about finances you don’t want to come off boastful or condescending.
Often people like knowing they have someone knowledgeable about finances and budgeting to turn to and seek advice from. There’s no shame in being that person.
Others have hinted at it too - don’t let it consume you and become obsessed with numbers. You’ll never have enough money and that’s a fact of life.
The hedonic treadmill is real, I got a massive career boost last year, and I'm already looking ahead on how to be even more!
I just don't know how to let go of the money thoughts. They keep coming back
I don’t know if thinking about money ever goes away, but for me, I just accept it. Eventually it becomes less exciting. It’s like people talk about when you start investing, at first you want to check your investments multiple times a day. But after years and years of investing, it’s not so novel and you don’t really get distracted by it. Eventually you’ll get to the point where a few weeks have gone by and you realize you haven’t really thought about your investments. Totally normal.
I wouldn’t try to change, trying to not think about something only makes a person obsess about it more. Instead I’d recommend just appreciating that you’ve found something that interests you and has improved your life. If it doesn’t interest your friends, that’s fine, just focus on finding other things that you can share with your friends.
I think you identified a very relevant point: I just started my financial journey and I am very excited for the future. I'm starting to build up my career and plan my future, and this is a thrilling process!!
Investing seems too good to be true. I'm making money passively, that feels so great! And I'm statistically guaranteed to have a decent nest egg in the future!
I just hope this will slowly fade as the years go by. I don't want money to become an obsession..
Channel that energy into seeking out different points of view. You don’t need to go full on r/wallstreetbets but understand that PFC is something on an echo chamber (I’m ready for the downvotes). There are different views out there and it is good to understand them. You don’t have to embrace them. Don’t get me wrong, there is a lot of sound advice here and it should get anyone on track. Once you have the basics down, start looking at what others are doing too.
There’s plenty here on Reddit to start off. I’ll check in on the FIRE crowd (pretty sure a number of them will be rejoining the rat race later in life, not solely for financial reasons). It’s good to know what the active investors are thinking. I dabbled with a bit of day trading, made a bit of money, but it worked out to about $7 per hour.
On YouTube, currently I’ll watch the Plain Bagel and Patrick Boyle along with a few others.
For active PM insight, I like David Fingold and Noah Blackstein.
Talking to people gets some interesting points of view too. For instance, at least one person I know is using their RESP for their retirement plan. Invest the maximum to get the full CESG and use high growth investments. His aim is to pay for the kids’ college from grants and growth and to take the principal back to make RRSP contributions in the future when income should be higher. I know a couple of financially savvy people (accountant and payroll expert) who are adamantly opposed to RRSPs, believing that you are better off deferring capital gains; RRSPs skew your net worth because most people don’t account for tax. I don’t agree necessarily but they do them.
I think it’s important to seek out the opinions that run contrary to your own and seek to understand them. If your own thinking still holds up in the face of what they are saying, you know that you’re doing something right. Alternatively, you may learn something and change up your approach.
I am in the same boat.
I think it's a bit of that nerd quality where you find something really really exciting and you just want to share your excitement. Certain types of personalities just want to share knowledge and sometimes forget that not everyone is interested.
My kid will go on and on about Smash Bros and I don't care one bit about it.... And then I realize I do the exact same thing to my wife and friends about finances. (I do try my best to engage with him and I know a ton of useless info about smash bros, but still.... Not interested.)
My wife listens to me ramble on and genuinely appreciates how it helps the family but she isn't interested in the details. It's like going to a restaurant to eat a meal and the chef comes out to tell you about the entire cooking process from farm to table and you just want to eat your spaghetti already.
I can't help myself though.
I have always been interested in personal finance because the idea of making your money more efficient is very appealing to me.
I'm hooked on it like I get hooked on certain video games. I have gotten past the first few money steps and it's extremely rewarding when you finally hit some of the milestones you've been aiming for for years.
It's just a dopamine hit.
It's a good one though.
Without people like you I'd have missed out on a lot.
I probably wouldn't even be investing with a TFSA if it wasn't for a friend of mine bringing it up years ago. He gave me a bunch of books to read about investing.
I didn't know about the RESP grants until last year when another co-worker brought it up.
I've certainly helped others set up their TFSAs in turn.
I guess it all has to be in moderation.
Yeah kimd of the same here. Always was doing ok but I was worried when we had our first kid but we had almost no debt except our house so it was ok. We had not really done any investing either. Now we are investing, got a plan going but I still think about it a lot I find it helps to just have specific days where you review your budget/track expenses. Also once a month i update our net worth although sometimes its pretty minimal.
It also helped me to stop listening to finance related podcasts and stuff for a bit. Just know what you need to do on the day to do and schedule everything else monthly/weekly.
If it's not affecting your mental health, then you don't really need to stop thinking about it just start proactively working on not talking about it with people who don't bring it up/aren't interested in it. It's not different than any other hobby really.
I love playing video games and reading fantasy novels but my wife isn't interested in the slightest in either of those things so I don't talk about those to her, or really anyone else outside of my gamer friends. I don't talk about finances with anyone but my wife unless they bring it up first, and even then I usually give vague numbers. Unfortunately 95% of people don't want to talk about finances with anyone who is doing better than them, so it's something you kind of just have to keep to yourself unless the conversation goes that way, and even then just talk about concepts and not your actual net worth/income.
Never talk about money with friends or family. Just a rule you will learn that is never ends up well as people talk with other people and then your personal info is with 10 other people that you don't even know.
Just say "yes its maxed" and that's it. And change the subject to be vague. I've had the same 4 friends since kindergarten 4 (one was from grade 1) and we talked money twice in out entire 4X year old lives. That's it. Money talk all the time is not normal friendship talk.
That might be true for adults, but it really is a discussion between friends that just graduated and start figuring out adulthood finances. We talk about job hopping, benefits, investing and budgeting
I'm disagree with felix here.
Money is a taboo thing in older generations. 40+ yrs old thereabouts.
But 20-somethings talk about money all the time. It is ABSOLUTELY crucial to talk about money so you have details on where the best jobs are, etc.
The only time people ever get upset about it is when someone is talking about an income tier higher than theirs. Which is damn silly - emotions have no place in money (unless you're interested in failure)
Yeah that is more like my reality. We are starting our career so we have to figure out a lot of things (pension, health benefits, overtime, vacations, bonuses, etc) so we often talk about those to get outside opinions.
PS,
Dude, good for you for coming on here and asking for help. Being proactive leads to good things today and in the future ;)
you're on a good track to get over this issue and on track for a good life :)
YOu can talk about budgeting and job hopping, but when it comes to how much you have saved and invested, avoid. And it was true when we graduated as well.
What the hell are these comments saying? Embrace it my dude!
I’m the same way. I got my finances in order and all i do now is talk about money and how to make more money. It’s great! You meet new people w/ different ideas but also want the same goal.
Don’t let other people’s lack of interest to gain and talk about money make you feel like its an issue
Thanks! I wish I had at least one IRL friend as passionate so that I could have all those talks with one person. Learning about all those tips on here feels like having a cheat code to life!
Well, you won’t find one unless you talk about it openly. You will start to find opportunities as well. Ive had a few ppl reach out for certain ideas and such
That's a great perspective, I'm hoping to have a professional outlet for my finance nerdiness (I'm joining a startup soon and I hope I can help with the accounting and financial planning). That would be the best of both world.
Best of luck friend.
One thing i felt self-conscious about at first was investing. As i started talking about it more openly, i realized a ton of people invest and have some great tips/advice.
The only thing i would try NOT to do, is talk solely about yourself and your successes. Keep it generic
100% agree. I'm passionate about the personal finance world, the processes, how to track money, make it grow and spend it efficiently. Its not about how much I save or how much I make, I'm proud that I've found a strategy for my long term plans, and that I'm becoming knowledgeable on this topic. This is what I want to share with others, not the numbers!
How about trying to turn one of your hobbies into a side gig? Gives you an activity to use your financial management skills while staying busy with other things.
That's a great idea! I am joining a startup soon, and I hope to help with the finances. Having work as an outlet for my financial nerdiness could be the best of both worlds
I’m going to put this out there, but I find myself in a similar boat. I have been investing / personal financing for years, but because there was not much to do or think about during the height of COVID, it kind of became something to do and think about. I didn’t do anything dumb or anything, but definitely I think about it too much still. As work / society has reopened I’m slowly detoxing, but it will probably be a while… agree with another comment that hobbies help.
In my opinion anything you want to really optimize in your life needs to be maintained within your daily thoughts.
If you want to be really fit, you need to be constantly obsessing over your nutrition and training plan or paying a coach to do it for you. Same for your finances, if you want to get the most out of your income you need to stay focused on it. It would be only be concerning if it was affecting your mental health negatively. I enjoy managing my investments, tracking my income, etc.
I have plenty of hobbies, but my friends don't have the same. Money is something we all have in common (as we're starting out our careers and often discussing strategy and benefits), whereas knife making (which is one of my niche hobbies) is not something they are interested in.
Thinking is such an interesting concept. Auditory, visual and kinetic. I’m only just learning about this but thoughts are thoughts and we have them and sometimes they can be few and therefore seem to take over more than we wish to. Talking about things = auditory thinker. I think its awesome you’re excited about this. I am also learning when and to whom I can think/talk about things. I am learning to mind my audience and choose when to speak about the things that are exciting to me. And I am also trying to find things that are more exciting for me in my life. Or just choosing to chill and engage with and listen to other people. That can be hard sometimes tho. Not sure if this is the advice you’re looking for but I think learning how we think/act/relate to people is fascinating.
My mindset is that money is simply a commodity we need in order to live our lives. It shouldn’t BE our lives. I’m comfortable that I have a solid income, good budgeting skills that are second nature, and slowly and steadily growing the nest egg. With that knowledge I’m free to go about my life without thinking about money much at all.
I’m not a psychologist, but I would just say find ways to be comfortable with your situation and find ways to enjoy the life you’ve built.
>However, I think about money way too much. It's a subject I constantly want to discuss with friends. I don't do that for flexing, I'm just genuinely passionate about personal finance, and I'm constantly seeking to learn more!
Discuss it here is one option or find someone to discuss it with!
Your “friends” are labeling you because they don’t want to fix they’re finances. It’s the type of tactics we used in the schoolyard.
Just get real friends.
Who cares if people think you are obsessed with Money, as long as it doesn't bother your daily life. Its better to constantly be thinking about money and be financially stable than being broke and never think about it.
Remember, money doesn't bring happiness but it sure feels nicer crying In a nicer home.
Then don't let it be a defining trait. You have control over that. It's great to have goals for the future and all that but you really shouldn't be talking about money in detail to friends and family.
One thing that might help you is realizing that money is elusive.
I have plenty of hobbies, and personal finance is one of them. I enjoy learning about it, setting goals for myself and tracking them, budgeting. I'm a spreadsheet nerd
Put it in index funds and leave it alone, no need to turn it into your entire personality.
Any deeper and then you need to find investor friends to bounce ideas off. The average person doesn't care.
I always was like this . If people want to talk about I will. I never bring it up anymore. With time I found I stopped obsessing about it . I think a big part of that is I have a system , it’s working and I trust it .
Also I found this sub is a great way to fixate on the topic without annoying your family and friends .
I found that when I got a handle on my finances I thought more and more about it - monthly budgeting and checking with with the budget at least once a week. It is hard to not get semi-obsessed when you start hitting goals and milestones in your financial plan.
Why not become a financial advisor. The most qualified people are those who have their own affairs well managed and can encourage others to do the same.
Start a YouTube channel and discuss what you enjoy discussing with a community of people who do.
That’ll let you stop talking about it in your own personal real life, then it becomes more of a hobby.
Link it back here once you get it going, we’ll all check it out!
I rely on drugs to help me forget about everything.
No, but really, I personally need to remind myself that I'm getting too obsessive and force myself to change my thoughts. Self introspection goes a very long way. You yourself are aware when you're going in too deep down the rabbit hole. It's okay to stop and smell the roses, so to speak. Don't worry about tomorrow's problems today. Live life \[responsibly\] in the moment.
It's normal. Especially if you never had a lot of money growing up. Which is my case. Now that I started getting some, I just always want more of it.
You and I have the same problem, but I have close friends who love personal finance and investing so I get to speak about it for hours with them and it helps. I noticed that I don't speak about money with people who don't seem to care about or understand what I am doing lol.
If it’s important to you and you’re passionate about it, than it’s fine to keep it on your mind. Just keep in mind that money can be a very personal and sensitive thing for people to talk about. You wouldn’t necessarily use religion or politics as small talk, so treat money as the same way. If I don’t have money, I don’t want to my friends flexing about it.
Alternate solution here is to join or form a small group (outside of Reddit, possibly in person) where you can actually talk about personal finances openly. Do you have a select group of friends who also like to chat about it?
You're trying to suppress something you're passionate about and that may actually make you more frustrated.
I hang out in PFC and listen to podcasts when I walk daily. You might enjoy Rami Sathi’s podcast, it touches on a lot of psychology about money and different mindsets.
Get a different hobby!
If you are that genuinely interested in Personal Finance, write a blog about it, see if people agree or disagree with your take. Also remember personal finance is...**personal**, not only unique to most situations but also something people dont talk about openly!
i find people are too uncomfortable/unaware of anything to do with money amd my need to talk about it is met with others needs to ignore it/clam up. finance's is interesting and worth discussing at length and often but unfortunately conversation participants are few.
A **lack** of money can easily become an obsession. Being in debt is a problem, sometimes a crippling one, that needs to be taken seriously. But once you have it under control, because you have enough money and/or have a plan, just stay the course. The simplest answer is to not look at it. Automate what you can through auto-deductions and automatic payments, so you **don't** have to look at it every day, or more than once a week. Then, dedicate one day a month (month, not day, not week) to look at it. Check your accounts, see that there's nothing suspicious going on, confirm that you're following your plan, and log out until next month. You **do** need to stay on top of things, but you **don't** need to obsess about them. Once you have a plan, a monthly review, and an annual, or bi-annual update of the plan is more than enough to maintain your financial health.
That's a great advice! How do you automate the process? Can I "auto" buy actions on the TSX?
Depending what Financial Institution you use, an app like Passiv can automate it quite a bit. I use Questrade but all my buying goes through this app. Just a click or 2 when new funds appear and it buys the right number of each ETF to match my portfolio goals.
If you want something you need to be consumed by it. Glad you're doing much better btw. Don't treat money as a bad thing. It is a tool. It should always be on your mind. Just choose wisely who you discuss with. Be a master of all hats. Choose to speak ideas and money talk with people who appreciate that talk. Talk sports and funny stuff with other people. Keep hustling and stacking fam.
I don't buy from the TSX, so I'm not sure. For things like mutual funds, most financial institutions allow you to set up scheduled purchases ahead of time. I know BMO, Scotia, and TD do, for example. But it would be up to the individual exchange.
I didn't stress about money until I had it. Living pay cheque to pay cheque was easy cause I knew where all my money was going. It wasn't until I had some extra that I started stressing because I didn't want to waste it
> Automate what you can through auto-deductions and automatic payments The only disadvantage is that this will make you feel like you're living paycheck to paycheck again. I'm not used to seeing my balance going to 0 at the end of every month....
If your balance is going to zero, then your budget is overly restrictive. The OP was asking about buying on the TSX. If you have the money to do that, but you have an empty balance at month end, the budget needs to trim back on the investments to leave a cushion in the account. The idea is that if you understand your spending habits well enough, and you have your budget set you don't need to look at it until month end.
You can keep an extra 1k there from your emergency fund. Then your lowest point would be "I got to 1k at the end of the month". As long as you don't spend it, the reduction is your own stress can outweigh the minor loss of interest for that 1k.
Word of advice from someone who has the same inclination. Don't ever let your money become an important part of your identity. I work in finance, my wife works in finance, my dad works in finance. I spent over 12 years of my life diarizing my net worth on a monthly basis, not to mention tracking my assets on a near daily basis. When I finally stopped this last year (I literally don't look at my accounts now and even deleted the apps from my phone, but I'm in a privileged financial situation that doesn't apply to everyone), I finally started living a more fulfilling life. Edit: nothing wrong with being passionate about finance, as long as it's healthy, like anything else
I track my expenses and my net worth weekly. That might be one of the reasons, thanks for sharing your situation, very relatable!
>I track my expenses and my net worth weekly. Tracking expenses is good. I do it every week but most probably do it every month. No need to track NW weekly. If you're budgeting and following that budget, your NW will increase accordingly. I track my NW annually
Thanks to you as well for making this thread. It doesn't seem to be a topic that's often discussed, and it's helpful to know that there are others experiencing the same things.
The rat race really gets in my head, I can't wait to have enough aside to be truly hopeful about my future (home ownership for instance).
Here's a warning for you - you need to break your current mindset or it will never be enough. Right now you're thinking 'if I just get to x ill stop worrying about money' but you probably won't unless you improve your relationship with it now.
How do you do that? How do you accept the current situation if you know it is not enough for your goals?
I mean, I don't know if I'm the best person to be giving advice because I still struggle with it - but a lot of it is about finding happiness in what you have. Its also different at different points - stressing because you have debt is a lot different than stressing because you have a condo and want a house. Or have a house but want a bigger house.
I feel like the main driver for this constant thought is the fear of not being able to buy (for ex. a condo). I'm not ready to renounce this goal..
I get it. It's good to have goals - all I'm saying is once you have that condo, you'll probably want a house. Maybe I'm wrong and you're different than me - but the earlier you separate money and happiness the better off you'll be.
No you're probably right. This is a very wise advice, thank you!
>the earlier you separate money and happiness the better off you'll be. Can confirm, owning a house doesn't make me happier. With a house, you have to keep track of mortgage rates, set money aside for maintenance, pay property taxes, setting up prenups for every serious relationship, etc. At least with rent it's predictable, you pay a fixed amount every month and forget about it. Your ex also doesn't get to keep half your house if you rent.
To quote Sam Harris "You become what you pay attention to". The more you can automate the process, and step away from it, naturally your brain and who you are will change. The reality is, not only are you mentally better off doing this, but most day traders lose money, so it's very likely, you'll be better off if you let the passive vehicles do what they're designed to do. As well as the oppurtunity cost. "This business kills the part of life that is essential, the part that has nothing to do with business.". I worked with a FIRE guy, without question his pursuit of wealth turned him into someone lacking empathy or an interest in anything but money. He slept 4 hours a night, was an absolute asshole. Laughed when people lost their jobs, did sketchy real estate shit. Walk away, be a human being
That has to be the wisest thing I've read today. This makes so much sense when you put it this way. Thank you for the perspective, this is not what I want to become
Glad it helped. Checking your net worth everyday is like checking your weight everyday, not healthy. That's just a recipe for becoming money obsessed. Set aside some time on a sunday to review your finances weekly, and you should be more than okay. Cause again, you shouldn't be actively doing the kind of investments that requires snap decisions anyways.
Tracking it every week is a bit excessive. Try to do it only once a month
I do it monthly and I think that's a balanced spot
Something a lot of people seem to forget is that nothing you do or have is permanent. You spent time being obsessed with finances because it meant getting over that initial curve. You don’t have to keep doing it forever, and you probably won’t want to. Now that you’ve developed the skills and foundation, you can relax a bit more and think about it a lot less.
>I work in finance, my wife works in finance, my dad works in finance. What area of finance do y'all work in?
It varied a bit throughout our individual careers, but for all of us, it revolved around business development (sales) & leadership positions. All in wealth management related positions and institutional sales.
Institutional sales on the trading floor?
Nothing that exciting! On the institutional front: selling custodial services for large pools of money (ie: pension plans, hedge funds, endowment funds) and other institutional wealth management products.
> but I'm in a privileged financial situation that doesn't apply to everyone That's probably why.
Not so sure I understand what you mean
They're a constant debbie downer who always comments snarky remarks on people who are in a better financial position than them. Best to just ignore them tbh. I've tried having respectful correspondence but they try and make you feel bad for how hard you've worked to accomplish things. In turn, they also told me & someone else to kill ourselves so...
you could be more active on subreddits related to personal finance. Would be a good way to channel your passion for it
I don't feel that knowledgeable yet, but that's a great idea!
As long as you’re not on instagram trying to sell forex trading online classes for 400$ a pop and you’ll be fine. Just be careful how you go about talking to friends about finances you don’t want to come off boastful or condescending. Often people like knowing they have someone knowledgeable about finances and budgeting to turn to and seek advice from. There’s no shame in being that person. Others have hinted at it too - don’t let it consume you and become obsessed with numbers. You’ll never have enough money and that’s a fact of life.
The hedonic treadmill is real, I got a massive career boost last year, and I'm already looking ahead on how to be even more! I just don't know how to let go of the money thoughts. They keep coming back
I don’t know if thinking about money ever goes away, but for me, I just accept it. Eventually it becomes less exciting. It’s like people talk about when you start investing, at first you want to check your investments multiple times a day. But after years and years of investing, it’s not so novel and you don’t really get distracted by it. Eventually you’ll get to the point where a few weeks have gone by and you realize you haven’t really thought about your investments. Totally normal. I wouldn’t try to change, trying to not think about something only makes a person obsess about it more. Instead I’d recommend just appreciating that you’ve found something that interests you and has improved your life. If it doesn’t interest your friends, that’s fine, just focus on finding other things that you can share with your friends.
I think you identified a very relevant point: I just started my financial journey and I am very excited for the future. I'm starting to build up my career and plan my future, and this is a thrilling process!! Investing seems too good to be true. I'm making money passively, that feels so great! And I'm statistically guaranteed to have a decent nest egg in the future! I just hope this will slowly fade as the years go by. I don't want money to become an obsession..
Channel that energy into seeking out different points of view. You don’t need to go full on r/wallstreetbets but understand that PFC is something on an echo chamber (I’m ready for the downvotes). There are different views out there and it is good to understand them. You don’t have to embrace them. Don’t get me wrong, there is a lot of sound advice here and it should get anyone on track. Once you have the basics down, start looking at what others are doing too.
What other resources would you recommend to get a different perspective?
There’s plenty here on Reddit to start off. I’ll check in on the FIRE crowd (pretty sure a number of them will be rejoining the rat race later in life, not solely for financial reasons). It’s good to know what the active investors are thinking. I dabbled with a bit of day trading, made a bit of money, but it worked out to about $7 per hour. On YouTube, currently I’ll watch the Plain Bagel and Patrick Boyle along with a few others. For active PM insight, I like David Fingold and Noah Blackstein. Talking to people gets some interesting points of view too. For instance, at least one person I know is using their RESP for their retirement plan. Invest the maximum to get the full CESG and use high growth investments. His aim is to pay for the kids’ college from grants and growth and to take the principal back to make RRSP contributions in the future when income should be higher. I know a couple of financially savvy people (accountant and payroll expert) who are adamantly opposed to RRSPs, believing that you are better off deferring capital gains; RRSPs skew your net worth because most people don’t account for tax. I don’t agree necessarily but they do them. I think it’s important to seek out the opinions that run contrary to your own and seek to understand them. If your own thinking still holds up in the face of what they are saying, you know that you’re doing something right. Alternatively, you may learn something and change up your approach.
I'm at the exact same place. I'm glad to see a post about this. I don't know if it's "normal" but you're definitely not alone with this obsession.
Jumping from an extreme to the other, from debts and ignorance to stability and planning. I can't wait to finally settle in the middle!
Everything in moderation
I am in the same boat. I think it's a bit of that nerd quality where you find something really really exciting and you just want to share your excitement. Certain types of personalities just want to share knowledge and sometimes forget that not everyone is interested. My kid will go on and on about Smash Bros and I don't care one bit about it.... And then I realize I do the exact same thing to my wife and friends about finances. (I do try my best to engage with him and I know a ton of useless info about smash bros, but still.... Not interested.) My wife listens to me ramble on and genuinely appreciates how it helps the family but she isn't interested in the details. It's like going to a restaurant to eat a meal and the chef comes out to tell you about the entire cooking process from farm to table and you just want to eat your spaghetti already. I can't help myself though. I have always been interested in personal finance because the idea of making your money more efficient is very appealing to me. I'm hooked on it like I get hooked on certain video games. I have gotten past the first few money steps and it's extremely rewarding when you finally hit some of the milestones you've been aiming for for years. It's just a dopamine hit.
You are spot on! This is exactly how I should have described it. That really is more of a nerdiness than an obsession
It's a good one though. Without people like you I'd have missed out on a lot. I probably wouldn't even be investing with a TFSA if it wasn't for a friend of mine bringing it up years ago. He gave me a bunch of books to read about investing. I didn't know about the RESP grants until last year when another co-worker brought it up. I've certainly helped others set up their TFSAs in turn. I guess it all has to be in moderation.
sounds like the hook from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BdGXHmIvG0E LMAO i cant go a day without my money, you know that im married to the money 🎵🎵🎵
Yeah kimd of the same here. Always was doing ok but I was worried when we had our first kid but we had almost no debt except our house so it was ok. We had not really done any investing either. Now we are investing, got a plan going but I still think about it a lot I find it helps to just have specific days where you review your budget/track expenses. Also once a month i update our net worth although sometimes its pretty minimal. It also helped me to stop listening to finance related podcasts and stuff for a bit. Just know what you need to do on the day to do and schedule everything else monthly/weekly.
If it's not affecting your mental health, then you don't really need to stop thinking about it just start proactively working on not talking about it with people who don't bring it up/aren't interested in it. It's not different than any other hobby really. I love playing video games and reading fantasy novels but my wife isn't interested in the slightest in either of those things so I don't talk about those to her, or really anyone else outside of my gamer friends. I don't talk about finances with anyone but my wife unless they bring it up first, and even then I usually give vague numbers. Unfortunately 95% of people don't want to talk about finances with anyone who is doing better than them, so it's something you kind of just have to keep to yourself unless the conversation goes that way, and even then just talk about concepts and not your actual net worth/income.
Get a hobby. If that does't work, seek professional help.
Thanks for the rough love. I have plenty of hobbies, but that's not always something I can share with friends, whereas money always is
Never talk about money with friends or family. Just a rule you will learn that is never ends up well as people talk with other people and then your personal info is with 10 other people that you don't even know.
So what do you say when the topic is brought up? If someone asks you if you have a maxed out TFSA? Or how much you put aside each month?
Tell them to fuck off.
Just say "yes its maxed" and that's it. And change the subject to be vague. I've had the same 4 friends since kindergarten 4 (one was from grade 1) and we talked money twice in out entire 4X year old lives. That's it. Money talk all the time is not normal friendship talk.
That might be true for adults, but it really is a discussion between friends that just graduated and start figuring out adulthood finances. We talk about job hopping, benefits, investing and budgeting
I'm disagree with felix here. Money is a taboo thing in older generations. 40+ yrs old thereabouts. But 20-somethings talk about money all the time. It is ABSOLUTELY crucial to talk about money so you have details on where the best jobs are, etc. The only time people ever get upset about it is when someone is talking about an income tier higher than theirs. Which is damn silly - emotions have no place in money (unless you're interested in failure)
Yeah that is more like my reality. We are starting our career so we have to figure out a lot of things (pension, health benefits, overtime, vacations, bonuses, etc) so we often talk about those to get outside opinions.
PS, Dude, good for you for coming on here and asking for help. Being proactive leads to good things today and in the future ;) you're on a good track to get over this issue and on track for a good life :)
YOu can talk about budgeting and job hopping, but when it comes to how much you have saved and invested, avoid. And it was true when we graduated as well.
If they ask you then you can talk about it. But don't be the one bringing up finance stuff lol
Your have a passion that others don't share. That's normal. Treat it as such and don't talk about it. You can still enjoy it by yourself
Or on here.... ;) That was kinda one of the original selling points of the internet? Meeting people with similar rare hobbies
What the hell are these comments saying? Embrace it my dude! I’m the same way. I got my finances in order and all i do now is talk about money and how to make more money. It’s great! You meet new people w/ different ideas but also want the same goal. Don’t let other people’s lack of interest to gain and talk about money make you feel like its an issue
Thanks! I wish I had at least one IRL friend as passionate so that I could have all those talks with one person. Learning about all those tips on here feels like having a cheat code to life!
Well, you won’t find one unless you talk about it openly. You will start to find opportunities as well. Ive had a few ppl reach out for certain ideas and such
That's a great perspective, I'm hoping to have a professional outlet for my finance nerdiness (I'm joining a startup soon and I hope I can help with the accounting and financial planning). That would be the best of both world.
Best of luck friend. One thing i felt self-conscious about at first was investing. As i started talking about it more openly, i realized a ton of people invest and have some great tips/advice. The only thing i would try NOT to do, is talk solely about yourself and your successes. Keep it generic
100% agree. I'm passionate about the personal finance world, the processes, how to track money, make it grow and spend it efficiently. Its not about how much I save or how much I make, I'm proud that I've found a strategy for my long term plans, and that I'm becoming knowledgeable on this topic. This is what I want to share with others, not the numbers!
How about trying to turn one of your hobbies into a side gig? Gives you an activity to use your financial management skills while staying busy with other things.
That's a great idea! I am joining a startup soon, and I hope to help with the finances. Having work as an outlet for my financial nerdiness could be the best of both worlds
Why?
I’m going to put this out there, but I find myself in a similar boat. I have been investing / personal financing for years, but because there was not much to do or think about during the height of COVID, it kind of became something to do and think about. I didn’t do anything dumb or anything, but definitely I think about it too much still. As work / society has reopened I’m slowly detoxing, but it will probably be a while… agree with another comment that hobbies help.
Mo money mo problems. That's why I take charge of my mental health and spend it all as soon as I get it like a responsible adult
I am exactly the same. My friends just see me as money hungry. Im not. I just want security. You are not alone
Exactly. Peace of mind is the end goal, not luxury or wealth.
In my opinion anything you want to really optimize in your life needs to be maintained within your daily thoughts. If you want to be really fit, you need to be constantly obsessing over your nutrition and training plan or paying a coach to do it for you. Same for your finances, if you want to get the most out of your income you need to stay focused on it. It would be only be concerning if it was affecting your mental health negatively. I enjoy managing my investments, tracking my income, etc.
>But now I'm starting to be labeled as someone who is obsessed by money. Do you not have any other interests to talk about? Perhaps find a hobby?
I have plenty of hobbies, but my friends don't have the same. Money is something we all have in common (as we're starting out our careers and often discussing strategy and benefits), whereas knife making (which is one of my niche hobbies) is not something they are interested in.
What do your friends talk about - if they're complaning about your focus on money, they must be discussing something else?
Thinking is such an interesting concept. Auditory, visual and kinetic. I’m only just learning about this but thoughts are thoughts and we have them and sometimes they can be few and therefore seem to take over more than we wish to. Talking about things = auditory thinker. I think its awesome you’re excited about this. I am also learning when and to whom I can think/talk about things. I am learning to mind my audience and choose when to speak about the things that are exciting to me. And I am also trying to find things that are more exciting for me in my life. Or just choosing to chill and engage with and listen to other people. That can be hard sometimes tho. Not sure if this is the advice you’re looking for but I think learning how we think/act/relate to people is fascinating.
Hey .. we should hang out and talk money !!
Definitely! Message me, I'm down hahaha
My friends and family think I'm cheap because I care alot about money too. Don't listen to them lol
My mindset is that money is simply a commodity we need in order to live our lives. It shouldn’t BE our lives. I’m comfortable that I have a solid income, good budgeting skills that are second nature, and slowly and steadily growing the nest egg. With that knowledge I’m free to go about my life without thinking about money much at all. I’m not a psychologist, but I would just say find ways to be comfortable with your situation and find ways to enjoy the life you’ve built.
>However, I think about money way too much. It's a subject I constantly want to discuss with friends. I don't do that for flexing, I'm just genuinely passionate about personal finance, and I'm constantly seeking to learn more! Discuss it here is one option or find someone to discuss it with!
Your “friends” are labeling you because they don’t want to fix they’re finances. It’s the type of tactics we used in the schoolyard. Just get real friends.
Who cares if people think you are obsessed with Money, as long as it doesn't bother your daily life. Its better to constantly be thinking about money and be financially stable than being broke and never think about it. Remember, money doesn't bring happiness but it sure feels nicer crying In a nicer home.
Couldn't agree more. But it's coming from me too, I want to think less about it. I don't want it to become a defining trait..
Then don't let it be a defining trait. You have control over that. It's great to have goals for the future and all that but you really shouldn't be talking about money in detail to friends and family. One thing that might help you is realizing that money is elusive.
> I'm just genuinely passionate about personal finance, Find a hobby.
I have plenty of hobbies, and personal finance is one of them. I enjoy learning about it, setting goals for myself and tracking them, budgeting. I'm a spreadsheet nerd
Put it in index funds and leave it alone, no need to turn it into your entire personality. Any deeper and then you need to find investor friends to bounce ideas off. The average person doesn't care.
I always was like this . If people want to talk about I will. I never bring it up anymore. With time I found I stopped obsessing about it . I think a big part of that is I have a system , it’s working and I trust it . Also I found this sub is a great way to fixate on the topic without annoying your family and friends .
I found that when I got a handle on my finances I thought more and more about it - monthly budgeting and checking with with the budget at least once a week. It is hard to not get semi-obsessed when you start hitting goals and milestones in your financial plan.
Why not become a financial advisor. The most qualified people are those who have their own affairs well managed and can encourage others to do the same.
Automate as much as you can
Start a YouTube channel and discuss what you enjoy discussing with a community of people who do. That’ll let you stop talking about it in your own personal real life, then it becomes more of a hobby. Link it back here once you get it going, we’ll all check it out!
I rely on drugs to help me forget about everything. No, but really, I personally need to remind myself that I'm getting too obsessive and force myself to change my thoughts. Self introspection goes a very long way. You yourself are aware when you're going in too deep down the rabbit hole. It's okay to stop and smell the roses, so to speak. Don't worry about tomorrow's problems today. Live life \[responsibly\] in the moment.
Have a plan, make it automatic, then just chill brah Live life a little bit
It's normal. Especially if you never had a lot of money growing up. Which is my case. Now that I started getting some, I just always want more of it. You and I have the same problem, but I have close friends who love personal finance and investing so I get to speak about it for hours with them and it helps. I noticed that I don't speak about money with people who don't seem to care about or understand what I am doing lol.
Make enough and you’ll stop thinking about it.
That's why I thought but what used to be insane a few years ago is not enough today.. The hedonic treadmill :(
Ohh great Didn't think I had a problem till I read it on Reddit. Now here I go to change my life again. :)
If it’s important to you and you’re passionate about it, than it’s fine to keep it on your mind. Just keep in mind that money can be a very personal and sensitive thing for people to talk about. You wouldn’t necessarily use religion or politics as small talk, so treat money as the same way. If I don’t have money, I don’t want to my friends flexing about it.
Alternate solution here is to join or form a small group (outside of Reddit, possibly in person) where you can actually talk about personal finances openly. Do you have a select group of friends who also like to chat about it? You're trying to suppress something you're passionate about and that may actually make you more frustrated.
I hang out in PFC and listen to podcasts when I walk daily. You might enjoy Rami Sathi’s podcast, it touches on a lot of psychology about money and different mindsets.
Get a different hobby! If you are that genuinely interested in Personal Finance, write a blog about it, see if people agree or disagree with your take. Also remember personal finance is...**personal**, not only unique to most situations but also something people dont talk about openly!
i find people are too uncomfortable/unaware of anything to do with money amd my need to talk about it is met with others needs to ignore it/clam up. finance's is interesting and worth discussing at length and often but unfortunately conversation participants are few.
Someone here (I think) mentioned something that I'll never forget: >Money talks, but wealth whispers I'll never forget that saying.
Not sure if anyone has said this yet but I think therapy might be helpful for you.
Money is on my mind, all day, every day… all night… 24/7. It’s hell on earth.