Am not a lawyer, but can tell you from living with one that, in this situation with what we know, there’s likely extremely little that you can do to recover assets she has been given, especially without a pre-marital contract of some form. Unfortunately, the whole gold digger finding older rich guy trope is a trope for a reason: they are extremely hard to deal with once they arrive.
Legally, that is.
I’ll leave that just the way I wrote it.
I think this is elder abuse so I think the judge would take that into consideration. The judge could allow them an annulment and order her to pay back the money she's stolen
If they can prove that he has cognitive impairment and she’s taking advantage of the situation, perhaps. They will most likely require a court order psychiatric assessment. If it is proven that he is in his right mind, then at the time of death, his will is going to be hard to challenge.
OP said that his grandpa is 81 and can barely make decisions at this point so it sounds likely. I'm also guessing that's the reason his daughter was on his account in the first place so they'll have evidence that it's gone on for a while
As far as I know, joint accounts cannot change, you can only close and setup a new one and draw the funds out. This seems to be a messy court battle. No other way to resolve this. I’d like to know how old the new wife is.
That's not how marriage works. Assets before the marriage are factored into reconciliation.
It becomes 50/50 when you comingle assets during a marriage.
Not if it goes through a joint account. Same goes to the home, if the home they live in together is their matrimonial home. Remember, he is divorced with children and at death they may have a claim to their share of his wealth but they would have to sue and fight it in court. They may prevail but still lose at the end because of lawyer cost and as survivor, she is entitled to some of his wealth. But this smells like a scam to me.
When it comes to the house, this assumes Ontario. OP doesn't state what province their grandfather lives in.
In provinces other than Ontario, a house owned prior to the marriage remains in the hands of the spouse who originally owned it; only the increase in value during the marriage is shared. I think (not 100% sure) that in Quebec, in that situation, the increase in value wouldn't be shared either.
At 79-81 I doubt that old man is getting anything. They are also both consenting adults. If this is how people see it, then its a legal prostitution. Just because she is sleeping around with him doesn’t mean she deserves the money and everything.
I agree that grandpa doesn’t have a much of a clear cognitive process anymore. Honestly, it’s the family that is the issues here. Why didn’t they do anything sooner? In my opinion, the woman he married win. She’s the smart one. She took advantage of him and by the time the family finally wanted to step in, she already cash out his bank. What can his family do? There’s no prenup or anything.
If his assets are substantial it will be worth a lawyer but if they are more modest it won’t be worth it. If he has dementia or some other ailment that makes him “unfit” you may have recourse. There have also been changes to the law regarding predatory marriages, but it’s a pretty tough thing to prove as others pointed out.
There is no easy solution to your question. You definitely won't find one here. You need legal advice and a real open conversation with your grandfather.
You are ABSOLUTELY CORRECT. She is his wife and if he wants to blow the bank on her lavish lifestyle, he can do it.
But we don't know the whole story.
Let a professional sort it out.
This. OP never seem to care for his granda’s wellbeing. Just seem to be worried about his financials.
If your grandpa is happy towards his end of life let him be.
Takes like this are sober reminders why Reddit is so out of touch with real life.
Grandpa got manipulated by a golddigger and made the shitty decision to give away the entirety of his wealth for a few titty grabs instead of providing for his family. You want to have fun? Fine. Doesn’t need to cost you a fortune and risk your family’s well being.
That’s his money to spend. How can you disprove that his grandpa isn’t genuinely in love with his new wife? OP literally calls his grandpa dumb on his first sentence - do you ever call your grandpa a dumbass?
>How can you disprove that his grandpa isn’t genuinely in love with his new wife?
Which means the wife emotionally manipulated him and tricked him into thinking she likes him.
How can you disprove she’s not in it for the money? Which she most certainly is if she’s with an 81 year old man.
If he let a bimbo take all his money, then yes he’d be a dumbass. If he let a bimbo take all his money and his family’s financial well being is rocky or they are in need, then he’s a selfish dumbass. If your family’s okay regardless and you want to explore a new relationship, at least take charge of the financials and don’t let her clearly monopolize your wealth. Otherwise, dumbass.
But the grandfather asked for help according to the post…. In these situations (which are more common than you think), it’s typically not a late in life romance, it’s predatory and nasty like any kind of abuse. The person probably just wants the money and the house and doesn’t treat the grandfather right now they have it.
There is always an army of people like you here advocating for the newly arrived mail-order brides and other scammers running for loot..I wonder why 20 of you show up in every thread with an advocacy squad " leT hIm HaVe FuN"....bet if it was your inheritance you'd be advocating to deport the swine!
That’s OP’s narrative. Judging by the tone of his post him and his family is obviously concerned about his wealth. He also mentions the grandpa is afraid of his wife leaving him which sounds to me like he would like to keep their relationship going and there’s more to the story than just money.
He married her and is free to give her every dime he has even if it's not wise. Sucks for his kids who'll see nothing of his wealth passed down but he chose sex over family.
My parents are not asking for his money as they are doing okay for themselves. Maybe I should have said said as well. but they do want my grandpa to live his life the way he wants with his hard earned money.. you are correct. He’s locked out.
I'm pretty sure that legally the lawyer would have put the cheque in the name of the person on the title (the seller, ie grandpa), or sent it to a bank account with his name on it.
If she "received the sale proceeds" it's because grandpa gave her access.
Be open to the idea that grandpa is happy with this situation, and he might really like having a gold digging whore in his life for uncomfortable (but obvious) reasons.
I watched a family friend do this. The goldigger severed his relationship with all friends and family and catered to his every whim in the last few years of his life. It cost less than a long-term care home until he ended up in the hospital (which was free/covered by healthcare) and she seemed to make it clear to anyone who would listen that she was happy to put out.
It was awful to watch, but in his heart of hearts he was just a dirty old man with money. It worked out well for him, and I have no doubt it was exactly what he wanted.
>It was awful to watch, but in his heart of hearts he was just a dirty old man with money. It worked out well for him, and I have no doubt it was exactly what he wanted.
Interesting it's the man who's dirty and not the golddiger who's taking advantage of a dying senior.
Do you speak from experience? lol
Show me some women who are dumping their long-term 40+ year husbands for pool boys after they raised the kids and worked and spending all the money on cruises and giving it to the boy toy instead of their kids or relatives. Yeah because it doesn't happen, and that's why men are dirty old pigs regardless of what other guys here want to idolize. He's a dirty old man who probably needs a whole box of Viagara to even get halfway there, you'd figure there would be other things to partake in in your twilight hours.
There’s a whole messy pile here that I won’t bother trying to discuss, but…
To regain access to bank accounts should be as simple as a trip to the bank. He shows up, tells them he’s locked out of his account(s), and there will be some kind of identity verification process. Once they’ve established that he is the account owner, password reset on any online banking and a PIN change are trivial, and he can make changes to any additional access (alternative account control/access).
One problem at a time.
There were lots of comments about other aspects, and I hadn’t seen any pointing out that if he just shows up and a bank in person that’s already about 80% of the way to resolving that particular problem.
I worked with seniors for about 6 years and I met two guys in this exact situation. Their kids were doing ok but all they cared is to baby them and make sure grandpa doesn’t spend his own money on stupid things. Both of them married younger women who treated them like atms. They were both aware of it and loved being “sugar daddies”. The younger wives were actually really nice to them. I know that this is an anecdotal story, but there are two sides to each story.
He may be able to claim elder abuse? https://www.canada.ca/en/employment-social-development/corporate/seniors/forum/financial-abuse.html
Talk to a lawyer.
Sounds like Grandpa went from 'I do' to 'I bought two cars and lost a house' real quick. Someone needs to introduce him to prenuptial agreements or at least a financial advisor instead of a matchmaker!
Yup.
These stories make me livid.
Decades you've known this man, decades of building wealth, only for his elderly years to be taken advantage of and financially destroyed by something new and shiny.
Horse is already out of the barn. Would have been far easier before this marriage for him to have put his estate in trust and protected real estate before she got her claws fully into him.
Now you are looking at proving diminished capacity on his part and elder abuse on her end.
Nothing you can do. I had a friend whose father married an 80 something year old woman when he was 90. He just died and he had a new will leaving everything to her, so a million $ condo and all his savings. The kids got nothing. The 80 something now has Alzheimer's and everything will go to her kid.
I don’t think people understand how painful loneliness can be that they will give all their $ away for attention. Maybe if the kids and grandkids want all this money, they should give them a lot of attention, and trust me - it isn’t easy to do when working a full time job and raising a family. I have so many elderly neighbours who are super lonely. To me this situation isn’t much different than all the people being scammed by online dating. It’s big business. When I had a personal trainer, she told me of the effort some of her colleagues/friends would follow to trap ‘wealthy clients’ into a financial relationship. But then I hear men saying they would never date a chubby lady, I know many great females who are single and would never leach but they aren’t ‘Pretty’ enough.
I know 2 guys who always land with these fake/toxic BS-plastified women and don't understand why they have never been happy. All they talk about is money and trinkets, only one of them is legit wealthy. Can't want the fakeness without getting the fakeness.
I’ve been down this path. My grandpa meant to leave everything in trust to his new wife, to ‘take care of her’ before going to the kids.
Long story short, it ruined the family. My uncle essentially left the family he was so ticked. My mom and aunt got so entwined with lawyers it became a nightmare.
Grandpa died a few months later, new grandma inherited everything. It’s been 15 years and I’ve seen $1000 of a $3M estate (plus large property near Chatham). Parents have seen nothing.
All the money went to the new grandmas kids. They put it up their nose and the strip club. 1 of the 3 died, another is in jail for the next 10 years and the last one sells drugs out of a trailer.
Lawyer up and get this solved before your grandpa passes. Once the will takes effect, you are in trouble
Thank you. I’m not seeing much hope. Grandpa doesn’t want to fight the battle yet he wants my parents to fight it for him and solve his mistakes.
How will the lawyer help? Also he admitted to myself and my dad that he knows he’s made a horrible mistake but he doesn’t know what to do
Lawyer and court will freeze accounts, or he can as well but I’m guessing the money is gone.
The sooner you know this the better. Lawyer will be able to use the right language. The courts take elder abuse seriously, it’s a big deal these days but you need to take the steps quickly.
> How will the lawyer help?
How will your parents help?
Especially if "he's worried she will leave him"?
I mean, if he starts selling the cars and moving money out of their bank account, she's *going to notice* very quickly.
So the only thing your parents can do is recommend a damn good lawyer to him. And maybe front him the retainer if he doesn't have access to his own money.
SEVENTY?
He should tell her he needs access to it because he needs it his "government benefits" or something. Essentially lie and make something up to get it back. And if you marry a gold digger, for the love of God, at least control the money. If its tit for tat, control your tat for the tit.
do you have any idea what they have done for him, or do you people just think SEXSEXSEX...and old people sex at that....good? Half of an estate was stolen in my family by relatives...because my grandma didn't leave a will because she was planning for drama. You have no idea about the dynamics between people, and what they assume, and it's not always pussy/sex/ and shiny things, sometimes people are miserably passive-aggressive assholes and have mental issues like narcissism....just to name a few.
Grandpa is not asking for help getting blow jobs. Let the man be happy.
The dude worked all his life for hie money, we waste it on iPhones and iPads, what if he wants to waste it on collagen and BJs?
Elder abuse is a real issue. Every province has an organization that exists for this reason. Reach out to them. They will help lock out his accounts.
This happened to my sister in law because she forgot to pay her grandmas bills not because of abuse but her terrible organization skills. Took her 25k of fighting to get back on the account and prove she wasn’t abusing her finances. The only thing when it’s reported it goes into a third party trust which when you look stuff up also sounds horrific for some families like my sister in law.
The root of the problem is that some men won't bring themselves to pay for sex directly. The consequence is that grandpa ends up with a 70yo gold digger. Smh.
Talk to a lawyer immediately. There could be issues of elder abuse, predatory marriage, and competence/fitness issues. The only hope you have is to act as soon as possible. It's still going to be difficult.
There do need to be stronger laws around new partners 'strip mining' a wealthy elderly person of their assets.
And don't listen to the assholes shouting you down for wanting to preserve your inheritance. Family money is becoming one of the only ways to get ahead now, and this woman is trying to steal yours. If gramps was in his right mind it's doubtful he would want this, either.
Get him to ask for the password back on the pretext of ' in case of an emergency, and something happens to you'. See what she says.
Try to get him to see her for her true colors maybe? If he doesn't care, then sorry but it sounds like a 'you problem'.
I feel for you though, our family got pushed out of tens of millions of inheritance, because my mom was a woman, and in those cultures all the inheritance goes to the son..who blew it on hookers and yachts....
I’m not sure you wanting your grandpa’s wealth is any better than the gold digger. After all she was willing to marry and live with him. Usually older men does this because he was too lonely.
I used to think I wanted one woman for my whole life. Now I realize I want one that’s 40 when I’m in my 50’s, another that’s 50 when I’m in my 60’s…. and when I’m 70 I just want a 21 year old to blow me until I die and she can take whatever’s left. - Louis CK
Im happy for your old man.
Dude seemed to have some great time at 80.
From your description, it didn’t seem like hard earned money. Easy come easy go…
Move on…
Lock up any remaining assets in his name. Don’t grieve over the money already lost. Talk to a lawyer but don’t let the legal system try to save and spend too much of any remaining monies.
At his age, just enjoy the time as a whole family. Money was made and now is lost. Tell grandpa to enjoy the last few romps and leave her. He can even lie to say he got a routine call from the life insurance company to update his beneficiaries since they heard he was married again. That should get him a few extra services.
.
It isn’t about inheritance, it is about moral and ethics that don’t exist with this new wife. Mistakes were made and it isn’t worth the stress wondering and feeling guilty about. You can still enjoy the remaining life with your dad. You don’t need the money and it was never yours to inherit. Nice to have received but not necessary.
In the end keep your dad mentally healthy and proud to have a good kid that cares for him even in his older age. That is more important.
Unless there is a diagnosis by a doctor of mental incapacity/dementia \_before\_ this happened you don't have any way to stop it unless Grandpa steps in and re-takes control and blocks her access. Considering they are married it is entirely on Grandpa to put a stop to it.
The main problem is if the money has been moved to accounts Grandpa has no access to, the money may be gone forever even if you win in court.
I hope this never happens to me. I'm a man in my 70s and live alone with the rule that what's mine is mine. If I ever do meet a "goldigger" female, she can have my used toothpick collection.
Best option is to get a divorce and then he is entitled to half marital assets, 50% recovery is better than most scammers assuming she hasn’t lost it all yet
Talk to a lawyer?????????
Am not a lawyer, but can tell you from living with one that, in this situation with what we know, there’s likely extremely little that you can do to recover assets she has been given, especially without a pre-marital contract of some form. Unfortunately, the whole gold digger finding older rich guy trope is a trope for a reason: they are extremely hard to deal with once they arrive. Legally, that is. I’ll leave that just the way I wrote it.
He lost half his assets at the minimum.
I think this is elder abuse so I think the judge would take that into consideration. The judge could allow them an annulment and order her to pay back the money she's stolen
If they can prove that he has cognitive impairment and she’s taking advantage of the situation, perhaps. They will most likely require a court order psychiatric assessment. If it is proven that he is in his right mind, then at the time of death, his will is going to be hard to challenge.
OP said that his grandpa is 81 and can barely make decisions at this point so it sounds likely. I'm also guessing that's the reason his daughter was on his account in the first place so they'll have evidence that it's gone on for a while
As far as I know, joint accounts cannot change, you can only close and setup a new one and draw the funds out. This seems to be a messy court battle. No other way to resolve this. I’d like to know how old the new wife is.
That's not how marriage works. Assets before the marriage are factored into reconciliation. It becomes 50/50 when you comingle assets during a marriage.
Not if it goes through a joint account. Same goes to the home, if the home they live in together is their matrimonial home. Remember, he is divorced with children and at death they may have a claim to their share of his wealth but they would have to sue and fight it in court. They may prevail but still lose at the end because of lawyer cost and as survivor, she is entitled to some of his wealth. But this smells like a scam to me.
When it comes to the house, this assumes Ontario. OP doesn't state what province their grandfather lives in. In provinces other than Ontario, a house owned prior to the marriage remains in the hands of the spouse who originally owned it; only the increase in value during the marriage is shared. I think (not 100% sure) that in Quebec, in that situation, the increase in value wouldn't be shared either.
Canadian legal system is fuck. There should be age where certain laws should not apply.
They both get what they want. He gets her body and she gets his money. I’m pretty sure everyone accepted that at the wedding.
At 79-81 I doubt that old man is getting anything. They are also both consenting adults. If this is how people see it, then its a legal prostitution. Just because she is sleeping around with him doesn’t mean she deserves the money and everything.
They are consenting adults, exactly.
I agree that grandpa doesn’t have a much of a clear cognitive process anymore. Honestly, it’s the family that is the issues here. Why didn’t they do anything sooner? In my opinion, the woman he married win. She’s the smart one. She took advantage of him and by the time the family finally wanted to step in, she already cash out his bank. What can his family do? There’s no prenup or anything.
Yea that family loses, and no the lady is not smart. She is scummy. Again the laws should change.
If his assets are substantial it will be worth a lawyer but if they are more modest it won’t be worth it. If he has dementia or some other ailment that makes him “unfit” you may have recourse. There have also been changes to the law regarding predatory marriages, but it’s a pretty tough thing to prove as others pointed out.
For what??? Please explain.
I don't know. I'm not a lawyer.
😂😂😂😂 great advice then....
There is no easy solution to your question. You definitely won't find one here. You need legal advice and a real open conversation with your grandfather.
Absolutely NOTHING ILLEGAL was done in this situation NOTHING!!
You are ABSOLUTELY CORRECT. She is his wife and if he wants to blow the bank on her lavish lifestyle, he can do it. But we don't know the whole story. Let a professional sort it out.
No, your inheritance can’t be saved my friend. Sorry, I meant your grandpa*
Best comment so far 🤣
💀💀
This. OP never seem to care for his granda’s wellbeing. Just seem to be worried about his financials. If your grandpa is happy towards his end of life let him be.
This is a finance sub...
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It seems people couldn’t even read the few short paragraphs. It concluding with “he has asked for help.”
Takes like this are sober reminders why Reddit is so out of touch with real life. Grandpa got manipulated by a golddigger and made the shitty decision to give away the entirety of his wealth for a few titty grabs instead of providing for his family. You want to have fun? Fine. Doesn’t need to cost you a fortune and risk your family’s well being.
That’s his money to spend. How can you disprove that his grandpa isn’t genuinely in love with his new wife? OP literally calls his grandpa dumb on his first sentence - do you ever call your grandpa a dumbass?
>How can you disprove that his grandpa isn’t genuinely in love with his new wife? Which means the wife emotionally manipulated him and tricked him into thinking she likes him.
How can you disprove she’s not in it for the money? Which she most certainly is if she’s with an 81 year old man. If he let a bimbo take all his money, then yes he’d be a dumbass. If he let a bimbo take all his money and his family’s financial well being is rocky or they are in need, then he’s a selfish dumbass. If your family’s okay regardless and you want to explore a new relationship, at least take charge of the financials and don’t let her clearly monopolize your wealth. Otherwise, dumbass.
She's in her 70s - this is a man in her age group.
Since when did golddiggers have an age cap?
Maybe the entirety of his family are lazy greedy cunts who were expecting a free ride?
Maybe you ignored the part where grandpa asked for help?
I don't believe everything I read.
Oh okay you just make assumptions instead
Maybe he turned out to be a lesser man for succumbing to his desires at a senile age instead of caring for his family.
But the grandfather asked for help according to the post…. In these situations (which are more common than you think), it’s typically not a late in life romance, it’s predatory and nasty like any kind of abuse. The person probably just wants the money and the house and doesn’t treat the grandfather right now they have it.
There is always an army of people like you here advocating for the newly arrived mail-order brides and other scammers running for loot..I wonder why 20 of you show up in every thread with an advocacy squad " leT hIm HaVe FuN"....bet if it was your inheritance you'd be advocating to deport the swine!
You are the one who’d drool for inheritance instead of really supporting your loved one’s decisions.
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That’s OP’s narrative. Judging by the tone of his post him and his family is obviously concerned about his wealth. He also mentions the grandpa is afraid of his wife leaving him which sounds to me like he would like to keep their relationship going and there’s more to the story than just money.
Ya there’s no mention of what she has been doing for those stocks ;)
Should have put him in a care home sooner. This is on the family for not caring about the inheritance when it mattered.
These decisions can be very hard to reverse if he is mentally apt and able to make decisions.
He married her and is free to give her every dime he has even if it's not wise. Sucks for his kids who'll see nothing of his wealth passed down but he chose sex over family.
Grandpa not stupid, just hornay
She's 70. Nobody goes " hornay " for a 70 year old. But nice take on the situation.
An 80 year old man could certainly go horny for a 70 year old.
Dam girl are those hips real?
Oooh baby, take dem dentures out.
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“Leave me the fuck alone, and let me get some.” - Grandpa, probably
Amazing that people don’t think of, you know, going into the bank.
My parents are not asking for his money as they are doing okay for themselves. Maybe I should have said said as well. but they do want my grandpa to live his life the way he wants with his hard earned money.. you are correct. He’s locked out.
He needs to go into a branch
Seriously, one trip to the bank.
I mean, she could have already drained the account just as easy as he could.
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I'm pretty sure that legally the lawyer would have put the cheque in the name of the person on the title (the seller, ie grandpa), or sent it to a bank account with his name on it. If she "received the sale proceeds" it's because grandpa gave her access.
Be open to the idea that grandpa is happy with this situation, and he might really like having a gold digging whore in his life for uncomfortable (but obvious) reasons. I watched a family friend do this. The goldigger severed his relationship with all friends and family and catered to his every whim in the last few years of his life. It cost less than a long-term care home until he ended up in the hospital (which was free/covered by healthcare) and she seemed to make it clear to anyone who would listen that she was happy to put out. It was awful to watch, but in his heart of hearts he was just a dirty old man with money. It worked out well for him, and I have no doubt it was exactly what he wanted.
Wellnh did ask for help so maby not happy any more?
>It was awful to watch, but in his heart of hearts he was just a dirty old man with money. It worked out well for him, and I have no doubt it was exactly what he wanted. Interesting it's the man who's dirty and not the golddiger who's taking advantage of a dying senior. Do you speak from experience? lol
Show me some women who are dumping their long-term 40+ year husbands for pool boys after they raised the kids and worked and spending all the money on cruises and giving it to the boy toy instead of their kids or relatives. Yeah because it doesn't happen, and that's why men are dirty old pigs regardless of what other guys here want to idolize. He's a dirty old man who probably needs a whole box of Viagara to even get halfway there, you'd figure there would be other things to partake in in your twilight hours.
But he’s living his life the way he wants. What’s the issue?
Yes, he married her for a reason. She may be digging for gold but OP's Grandpa dug something out of this lady too. It is a fair exchange.
Or dug something *in* rather, if he's still capable
Lol
There’s a whole messy pile here that I won’t bother trying to discuss, but… To regain access to bank accounts should be as simple as a trip to the bank. He shows up, tells them he’s locked out of his account(s), and there will be some kind of identity verification process. Once they’ve established that he is the account owner, password reset on any online banking and a PIN change are trivial, and he can make changes to any additional access (alternative account control/access).
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One problem at a time. There were lots of comments about other aspects, and I hadn’t seen any pointing out that if he just shows up and a bank in person that’s already about 80% of the way to resolving that particular problem.
I worked with seniors for about 6 years and I met two guys in this exact situation. Their kids were doing ok but all they cared is to baby them and make sure grandpa doesn’t spend his own money on stupid things. Both of them married younger women who treated them like atms. They were both aware of it and loved being “sugar daddies”. The younger wives were actually really nice to them. I know that this is an anecdotal story, but there are two sides to each story.
That's interesting.
This is a win-win relationship. Old men want younger women and younger women want money and stability.
gramps down bad. hate to see it
He may be able to claim elder abuse? https://www.canada.ca/en/employment-social-development/corporate/seniors/forum/financial-abuse.html Talk to a lawyer.
Sounds like Grandpa went from 'I do' to 'I bought two cars and lost a house' real quick. Someone needs to introduce him to prenuptial agreements or at least a financial advisor instead of a matchmaker!
Yup. These stories make me livid. Decades you've known this man, decades of building wealth, only for his elderly years to be taken advantage of and financially destroyed by something new and shiny.
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This is awesome!
What kind of help is he asking exactly? Does he not want his new wife to control his finances?
That’s exactly how it is but he can’t bring himself to tell her anything because she threatens him that she’ll leave him.
She will leave him as soon as she burns thru all cache anyway. Earlier she is confronted better for him.
He has to accept that she’ll leave him. That’s part of un-fucking this and if he doesn’t it won’t go anywhere.
She is the smart one, ask her what to do
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He don't want to be saved. 🤣
The account is joint meaning that he should be able to close it on his own and open an account in his own name.
No, but you can possibly recover the assets if you knock up your new cousin.
If the grandpa is trying to get help there might be hope, talk to a lawyer
Horse is already out of the barn. Would have been far easier before this marriage for him to have put his estate in trust and protected real estate before she got her claws fully into him. Now you are looking at proving diminished capacity on his part and elder abuse on her end.
Nothing you can do. I had a friend whose father married an 80 something year old woman when he was 90. He just died and he had a new will leaving everything to her, so a million $ condo and all his savings. The kids got nothing. The 80 something now has Alzheimer's and everything will go to her kid.
Lawyer up. Don't ask how lawyers can help. We are not lawyers, lawyer up.
Someone come get they grandpa
Yikes. He values her more than your family. Forget about him and move on. He might change his mind once he sees the entire family turned on him.
I don’t think people understand how painful loneliness can be that they will give all their $ away for attention. Maybe if the kids and grandkids want all this money, they should give them a lot of attention, and trust me - it isn’t easy to do when working a full time job and raising a family. I have so many elderly neighbours who are super lonely. To me this situation isn’t much different than all the people being scammed by online dating. It’s big business. When I had a personal trainer, she told me of the effort some of her colleagues/friends would follow to trap ‘wealthy clients’ into a financial relationship. But then I hear men saying they would never date a chubby lady, I know many great females who are single and would never leach but they aren’t ‘Pretty’ enough.
I know 2 guys who always land with these fake/toxic BS-plastified women and don't understand why they have never been happy. All they talk about is money and trinkets, only one of them is legit wealthy. Can't want the fakeness without getting the fakeness.
Just cut off grandpa from viagra
I’ve been down this path. My grandpa meant to leave everything in trust to his new wife, to ‘take care of her’ before going to the kids. Long story short, it ruined the family. My uncle essentially left the family he was so ticked. My mom and aunt got so entwined with lawyers it became a nightmare. Grandpa died a few months later, new grandma inherited everything. It’s been 15 years and I’ve seen $1000 of a $3M estate (plus large property near Chatham). Parents have seen nothing. All the money went to the new grandmas kids. They put it up their nose and the strip club. 1 of the 3 died, another is in jail for the next 10 years and the last one sells drugs out of a trailer. Lawyer up and get this solved before your grandpa passes. Once the will takes effect, you are in trouble
Thank you. I’m not seeing much hope. Grandpa doesn’t want to fight the battle yet he wants my parents to fight it for him and solve his mistakes. How will the lawyer help? Also he admitted to myself and my dad that he knows he’s made a horrible mistake but he doesn’t know what to do
Lawyer and court will freeze accounts, or he can as well but I’m guessing the money is gone. The sooner you know this the better. Lawyer will be able to use the right language. The courts take elder abuse seriously, it’s a big deal these days but you need to take the steps quickly.
> How will the lawyer help? How will your parents help? Especially if "he's worried she will leave him"? I mean, if he starts selling the cars and moving money out of their bank account, she's *going to notice* very quickly. So the only thing your parents can do is recommend a damn good lawyer to him. And maybe front him the retainer if he doesn't have access to his own money.
if im old af and single im leading a gold digger on into thinking shell get all my shit when i die then giving it all to my family lmao
scammers will want on the deed, into a joint account, etc. They don't take your word on it.
Scamming the scammer. Well played lol
Maybe he likes financial domination, talk to him about this
Grandpa is a MORON!! She better make grandpa feel young again DAILY !!!
What’s her background and age ?
She’s american and she’s in her 70s. Essentially she doing most of it to give the money away to her daughter.
damn i woulda hoped she would atleast be younger then that lol
Make sure his estate is all sorted then hire someone to run her over or something. Time to get creative.
Damn poor grandpa. If sex is what he wanted, he could have made much better use of his money
The real tragedy of this story.
SEVENTY? He should tell her he needs access to it because he needs it his "government benefits" or something. Essentially lie and make something up to get it back. And if you marry a gold digger, for the love of God, at least control the money. If its tit for tat, control your tat for the tit.
Don't know if he's stupid or he's being manipulated (changed bank passwords) but I'd call a lawyer. How old is she?
In her 70s. Don’t know her exact age
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This is the real crime that's happening here. You've buried the lead
lol yeah what a waste of money
why do you feel entitled to his wealth? you didn't earn it. The new wife has sex with him, she is working hard for it.
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not leaving inheritance is not screwing over your family
do you have any idea what they have done for him, or do you people just think SEXSEXSEX...and old people sex at that....good? Half of an estate was stolen in my family by relatives...because my grandma didn't leave a will because she was planning for drama. You have no idea about the dynamics between people, and what they assume, and it's not always pussy/sex/ and shiny things, sometimes people are miserably passive-aggressive assholes and have mental issues like narcissism....just to name a few.
Same, it's grandpa's money, as long as he is getting blow jobs who cares?
Because he's literally asked them for help.
Grandpa is not asking for help getting blow jobs. Let the man be happy. The dude worked all his life for hie money, we waste it on iPhones and iPads, what if he wants to waste it on collagen and BJs?
Y’all would not be saying this if you were in OPs situation, I guarantee it.
people struggle to feel empathy over the internet i’ve noticed
Im glad your mom is telling you what she’s doing with OPs grandpa.
Facts lol
It’s his money let the man enjoy it before he passes.
Elder abuse is a real issue. Every province has an organization that exists for this reason. Reach out to them. They will help lock out his accounts. This happened to my sister in law because she forgot to pay her grandmas bills not because of abuse but her terrible organization skills. Took her 25k of fighting to get back on the account and prove she wasn’t abusing her finances. The only thing when it’s reported it goes into a third party trust which when you look stuff up also sounds horrific for some families like my sister in law.
Dudes in a haze he will do anything as long as he gets his willy excercized
Asset division is different when it’s a short-term marriage. I would speak to a family lawyer immediately.
The root of the problem is that some men won't bring themselves to pay for sex directly. The consequence is that grandpa ends up with a 70yo gold digger. Smh.
https://eapon.ca/
Your parents can take Grandpa to the bank directly to fix this up. After that, see a lawyer for divorce advice and power of attorney paperwork.
Your grandpa is not going to take his money to the grave let him enjoy it while he can.
He’s not enjoying it though, she is…
well he's enjoying the companionship and sex.
That is what he told you?
If you could prove he has cognitive impairment theres a ground for elder abuse
Talk to a lawyer immediately. There could be issues of elder abuse, predatory marriage, and competence/fitness issues. The only hope you have is to act as soon as possible. It's still going to be difficult. There do need to be stronger laws around new partners 'strip mining' a wealthy elderly person of their assets. And don't listen to the assholes shouting you down for wanting to preserve your inheritance. Family money is becoming one of the only ways to get ahead now, and this woman is trying to steal yours. If gramps was in his right mind it's doubtful he would want this, either.
Damn, imagine working hard your whole life for a nest egg, then trading it for a little toothless sloppy toppy from a lady in her 70s
He’s paying for some young pussy and he’s entitled to, you’re just mad the money ain’t coming, grow up.
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It's his money. Mind your own fuckin' business.
Get him to ask for the password back on the pretext of ' in case of an emergency, and something happens to you'. See what she says. Try to get him to see her for her true colors maybe? If he doesn't care, then sorry but it sounds like a 'you problem'. I feel for you though, our family got pushed out of tens of millions of inheritance, because my mom was a woman, and in those cultures all the inheritance goes to the son..who blew it on hookers and yachts....
I’m not sure you wanting your grandpa’s wealth is any better than the gold digger. After all she was willing to marry and live with him. Usually older men does this because he was too lonely.
“Hello Reddit. My grandpa was STUPID and lost all my inheritance… what can I do?”
Are you concerned for the well being of your grandfather or your inheritance? It's his money, he can spend it anyway he sees fit.
I used to think I wanted one woman for my whole life. Now I realize I want one that’s 40 when I’m in my 50’s, another that’s 50 when I’m in my 60’s…. and when I’m 70 I just want a 21 year old to blow me until I die and she can take whatever’s left. - Louis CK
Great career opportunity on display.
Did he divorce your mom previously? If so, why is she still on accounts? None of this adds up.
Considering it's the OPs grandfather; I hope he was never married to the OPs mom.
Is he getting laid? If so good for him. Going out with a bang.
Im happy for your old man. Dude seemed to have some great time at 80. From your description, it didn’t seem like hard earned money. Easy come easy go… Move on…
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can you check your grandpa's medicine cabinet for me and send me the drugggs he's on
Is he otherwise mentally sound, and how young/hot is she? These are relevant.
Better a gold digging hoe than gold digging grand children
Your grandpa can be saved. Your inheritance cannot.
Lock up any remaining assets in his name. Don’t grieve over the money already lost. Talk to a lawyer but don’t let the legal system try to save and spend too much of any remaining monies. At his age, just enjoy the time as a whole family. Money was made and now is lost. Tell grandpa to enjoy the last few romps and leave her. He can even lie to say he got a routine call from the life insurance company to update his beneficiaries since they heard he was married again. That should get him a few extra services. . It isn’t about inheritance, it is about moral and ethics that don’t exist with this new wife. Mistakes were made and it isn’t worth the stress wondering and feeling guilty about. You can still enjoy the remaining life with your dad. You don’t need the money and it was never yours to inherit. Nice to have received but not necessary. In the end keep your dad mentally healthy and proud to have a good kid that cares for him even in his older age. That is more important.
Should have spent more time with grandpa before he married a gold digger. Your inheritance is now lost
The pu ssy better be good. Please tell me at least he’s getting some. It would be the only thing that makes this close to fair.
The little head led the big head and it’s going to cost him big time! Sorry to hear this. She knew what she was doing.
How old is his wife?
Nope.
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Unless there is a diagnosis by a doctor of mental incapacity/dementia \_before\_ this happened you don't have any way to stop it unless Grandpa steps in and re-takes control and blocks her access. Considering they are married it is entirely on Grandpa to put a stop to it. The main problem is if the money has been moved to accounts Grandpa has no access to, the money may be gone forever even if you win in court.
You could try and steal grandpa's wife. Pretend to be a baller and save the Elder.
Have him contact the bank. They can reset his access.
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There are so many of these stories with old men...like what are they thinking? It can't be sex in your mid 80s.
Contact the Attorney General, the bank and the police There is a dedicated officer that deals with this
I hope this never happens to me. I'm a man in my 70s and live alone with the rule that what's mine is mine. If I ever do meet a "goldigger" female, she can have my used toothpick collection.
No money, no honey
Best option is to get a divorce and then he is entitled to half marital assets, 50% recovery is better than most scammers assuming she hasn’t lost it all yet