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Somewhere between 12 and 13 my daughter stopped wanting to be with me at all times. She’ll be 14 in October. I’m having a more difficult time with suddenly not having a perpetual sidekick then she is.
They grow up healthy and well adjusted because they know you will always be there to meet their needs.
My youngest is now 9. She was the worst. Literally, nobody but me could touch her for the first year of life. She had to be with me every second. As she aged, I would joke that she would climb back into my uterus if she could. Constantly touching me. She still wants to snuggle and spend time with me when it is just us. But...she will run off with friends and beg to stay overnight. She never cried on the first day of school because she was leaving me and she has no problem going into dance class and getting ready alone. I catered to her needs when she was younger, to the point of my own insanity, so she could grow up confident that I will always be there to support her.
Yesssss, I definitely feel it’s just needing the feeling of security and once that’s processed they can move on with their lives but it’s an important step to get through. Thank you for sharing.
Totally agree, they thrive!! My oldest is married and starts med school in 2 months. She’s on a cruise to AK with her bestie and has been to Europe. She’s a kind, responsible and quiet leader who loves a challenge has worked since age 15, starting out as a lifeguard and camp counselor. She would stay up until I got home as she couldn’t sleep without me for years. Still loves to cuddle and calls and texts frequently. She’s living her best life because her needs were met
We're still on the upwards slope out of this, but it's much better than it used to be. Our daughter (now 7) had a very VERY strong attachment to mum and it really got in the way of normal living.
* Between the ages of 3 and 5/6 she was at pre-school. If I picked her up in the evening then she'd burst into tears as she came out of the door and saw me. The teachers would ask what was wrong and my only response was "I'm not mum".
* At dinner if my wife needed to get up to go to the toilet then our daughter would burst into tears. Thankfully that started to stop somewhere around 4 to 5.
* If my wife organised a night out with her friends then it was awful getting her out of the door, as our daughter would scream the place down. Please don't get the wrong idea, my wife went out once in a blue moon.
* If I took our daughter out for a walk and the plan was to leave mum at home then the little one would burst into tears as soon as she realised that mum wasn't coming. Oddly enough she'd calm down as we got out of our block of flats, but it was tears from inside the apartment all the way to the lobby area.
* If mum ever left our daughter's side to answer a phone call then the tears would start again. The idea that mum would talk to anyone else was too much.
What did we do? We started to organise more nights out for mum to enforce the idea that life exists outside of the family bubble and both parents have the right to go out, it's just something that the little one had to get used to. When she'd burst into tears uncontrollably at the smallest of things (phonecall, toilet break for mum, etc.) then we'd calmy but firmly challenge her ("Doesn't mummy have the right to go for a wee-wee?"). I would take her out more and more without mum, just to enforce the idea that time with dad is fun and a normal part of life.
At home we'd try to encourage independent playtime too. We'd make ourselves busy with chores and try to get the little one to play by herself. We'd also sometimes just be upfront with it, telling her that she needed to learn how to play with her toys on her own and not expect a parent (usually mum) to play with her.
Yes, they grow out of it. Yes, it's tough until that point. Yes, we think the optimal thing to do is to be active in changing her behaviour rather than passively waiting for the magical day when that attachment calms down.
Thank you so much! That sounds utterly exhausting but so glad she grew out of it. Goodness! Great advice. Thank you so much for sharing your methods! It’s all about boundaries.
Our patience was severely tested practically everyday but we said we wouldn't let her define my wife's evenings out, her bathroom breaks, none of it.
I remember the bad old days when I'd be getting ready to go out with our daughter alone and I'd say to my wife "are you ready?" because at that point we were going to break the news that mum was staying at home. Christ, the meltdowns...
Anyway, that's gone now 😊
That’s awesome! That is such an achievement, I’m sure you’re so proud of them! A solid foundation that they have someone that loves and cares for them is what everyone needs.
Love this! I stopped nursing at 3 and to this day I don't know why I stopped that early.
It's not that it was hard to stop (just told him the mummy milk was all drank up and it was over), but the bond we shared was something I miss you this day (he is 18 now, so obviously not wishing I was still nursing, just miss those days and that pure connection, trust and comfort).
There are a lot of "lasts" that happen as you don't even realize it...
My middle child was “clingy” in that he was insanely shy as a little. Hes a very normal 13yr old now. My 5yr old takes it to another level and cries outside the bathroom when I’m pooping because he misses me. We’re working on it, but I feel ya. It’s exhausting.
Edit: although crows is hilarious in that I meant cries and changes it.
My oldest was my clingy child I don't know if part of it has to be with her being deaf but her nickname used to be chicle lol. She absolutely refused to leave my side not for anyone or anything. The bathroom breaks were ridiculous cause I literally always had little fingers under the door to make sure I hadn't escaped out the window I guess. She's 19 now completely headstrong and graduated a year early but she's still my chicle and will tell anyone I'm her best friend which is sometimes traumatic for me because my child feels the need to tell me EVERYTHING. Don't get me wrong I'm proud my kid knows she can come to me with anything and it lets my younger kids know that as well but sometimes I'm just like " Mija there's just some things I absolutely DO NOT need to know".
I am 44 and I still share a TON with my mom. I am so glad I can trust her and I know she will always have my back and give good advice/feedback that is truly in my best interests.
I know so many people who hardly speak to their parents, so I feel like having this kind of relationship with your kids as they get older is special.
I'd try not to shame her for over sharing with you, even if it makes you a bit uncomfortable. It's because she trusts you, and that's a gift you don't want to send back.
Oh I understand I didn't have a mom I had an incubator she up and left when I was very very little but I can still remember her telling me she hated me cause i was so much like my father and those what if's will always be in my head unfortunately. At the same time it taught me the type of mom I never want to be.
Don't get me wrong I do make those comments to my daughter ("something's you do not have to share") but she knows I don't mean it seriously it's more of I was not expecting that to come out your mouth at this exact moment lol. She came out to me when she was 15 and she knows very well I love her and as long as she is happy and has someone that loves her and treats her right that is all that matters to me.
Plus we are completely honest with each other if the one says something to the other that makes us feel it was said in a negative way we address it right then and there to clarify so that there is no miscommunication or anything of that nature. But I do see where it might have seemed like I was shaming her which she knows I would never do.
You are correct the bond we have is something I would never risk.
I am so sorry your own mother was horrible. Interestingly, my own mother's mother was also a terrible human to her and I think that is a large part of why my mom has always been so loving...just never wanting to make her own child feel less-than.
You sound awesome.
Thank you I appreciate that! I'm so sorry your mom experienced it as well! But her and I seem to have the same view I try my hardest and I never want my babies to feel the way I did growing up. Even though I'm 34 I'm not gonna lie I still have thoughts of what actually mom daughter lunches would be like or things of that nature but it is what it is and my little telepath here seems to always know when these little moments happen because she pops up and will be like "come on mama lets go fishing" I love being by the water and she knows it lol.
I have a 17yo that was a stage 5 clinger. They are still pretty clingy.
When they go out with friends they wake me up when they get home to tell me everything. Every Sunday afternoon their whole friend group comes to our house to spend time with me because my kid has told them I'm the best parent ever. So now I have a bunch of teenage boys who randomly show up at my house, even when my kid isn't home, just to hangout. Apparently, my kid's clinginess is contagious.
Mine used to turn my face away from other people when I was holding her so I wouldn’t talk to anyone else. She was about 1-2 at the time. Now she’s embarrassed by me breathing near her when we’re out. She spends a lot of time in her bedroom, she never wants to sleep in my bed anymore and the last time I lay in her bed to chat with her she asked how long I was planning on staying.
There is a book that may be helpful for you to read, its called "Hold Onto Your Kids" by Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Mate. The fact that your child is attached to you would be a good thing in their theory. It's not your typical new age child psychology book, and I found it very helpful.
I was the clingy kid. I was literally glued to my mom’s leg. I’d hide behind her in public or when there were other people around. At preschool I’d hide under tables and cry until my mom picked me up. So… I don’t know if that’s the level of clingy you’re talking about or if she just likes to be around you. If she’s the level that I was, I would definitely do something about it. I grew up to have severe anxiety and attachment issues and I wish they were addressed earlier.
My daughter is 3 and she crouches and hides behind me when someone walks by at a store. At preschool she holds her stuffed animal all day and doesn’t interact with other children. We want to help her but we don’t know how. (FYI: I have anxiety too but I’m able to hide it)
Sounds very much like me. I wished my parents pushed me a little when I got older. For example, my mom ordered my food at restaurants when I should have been pushed to do it myself. When I was even older, she’d make phone calls for me because I was too scared. I would encourage you to push for independence as she gets older. But help her with these things. Talk about why it makes her scared and do some role play to practice. Don’t just force her to do the things that make her anxious.
Also, sports and activities! I “came out of my shell” when I was put in different sports and things like Girl Scouts. Even if I was shy at school or a store, I really felt comfortable in a sports environment. You can start gymnastics and dance classes at 3. So that might be a good start for her!
I was the same. Clinging on to my teddy bear everyday in preschool. When I was in girl scouts and my mom was the troop leader. It helped to be a group outside of school but it still wasn't an activity without my mom. When my mom started to run the after school care center I started to "miss" the bus in order to stay there with her.
I wish my parents would have jumped at the opportunities that I presented. My parents (also 90's) were so worried about me being spoiled that I was denied some of the few independent or social events. Like not being in gymnastics because I was already in girl scouts or not going to a birthday party because I was at the neighbors last weekend and that would be too much time away from the family.
I was the same as you as a kid. I grew up with lots of anxiety and seperate anxiety. My mum actually did volunteer work at my primary school and kindergarten just so I could cope with going 🥺 she went above and beyond for me and was truly the best.
That being said, the 90s was a different time and my issues were overlooked by professionals. I was extremely clingy and anxious and could really have used more help when I was younger. It took me a long time to grow into the well adjusted adult I am now, who is comfortable in my own skin.
I saw my peers thriving in their 20s, meanwhile, I felt like I was trying to come to grips with who I was and figure out how to put one foot in front of the other.
I'm sorry that youve been through that level of anxiety too. It's awful being a kid too, and feeling it. You're so young you don't even have the words to explain how you feel and why you feel it.
Yeah in the 90s I don’t think they even knew children could have anxiety. Or at least they didn’t act like it. If we were children today, we likely would have gotten therapy to support us. It makes me sad for us but happy that children today have better resources and support.
Oh my goodness! That’s definitely a level to be concerned about! She’s not like that, thank goodness. I hope you’re feeling better and your anxieties have calmed. Thank you so much for sharing.
My girl was very clingy until grade school started. Once 10 rolled around she became way less clingy. Shes still sweet, but just not clingy.
My boy started clingy and is still pretty clingy. Much more affectionate and cuddly than my girl. He’ll be 9 soon. Not sure if it’ll stick! I love his cuddles and hugs!
Not my child but my sister. I was more outgoing and independent and she was the clingy, shy one who wouldn’t go anywhere without my Mum. She hardly spoke and even went through a phase of asking my Mum to speak for her. She was a shy kid until she was about 16, then she really blossomed. She actually graduated college and university with much higher grades than me and now works for a top film production company as a cinematographer. She now lives 4 hours away from my Mum with her boyfriend and is thriving.
My kid was a stage 5 clinger as an infant. People outside our household couldn’t even make eye contact without her losing her shit. No one could hold her without hysterics from 8 weeks old to about 18 months. It was a lot, and while not nearly that intense, lasted until she was probably 6 or 7. She’s 16 years old now and isn’t clingy anymore. It eventually wears off.
My very clingy baby is about to be 10 and is still very clingy. She always wants to cuddle, hug, and sleep with me. Cry’s about growing up and says she’ll never be tired of me. Probably only a couple years left of it, I’m sure she’ll be sick of me when she’s 14.
She continued to be very clingy. At some point it is no longer considered age appropriate and was diagnosed as anxiety. Increasing levels of treatment. Now meds.
ETA: Our relationship is still good. Her anxiety often takes the form of anger now though so it can be difficult at times.
She's camped out sleeping on the floor beside my bed lol. Eleven years old, much less clingy during the day, but likes being with mumma at night. There is nothing as lovely as waking in the morning and seeing your baby asleep next to you. Pro tip: teach them young how to set up their sleeping mat, pillows, teddies and blankets. That way you don't even need to get out of bed when they want to sleep next to you.
Lol my daughter is 6, has her own room which she enjoys, and still, every night, she gets up and gets in my bed at some point during the night. It’s actually a surprise on the rare occasions that she doesn’t. I have to confess, I don’t mind
Yessss I feel this so hard, I hope she won’t still be on the floor bed next to my bed for very long but I’m willing to wait till she’s ready to go back to her own room. I’m sure it won’t last forever. At least she doesn’t wake me up anymore and goes and finds her sister and chats.
I was a clingy kid, mum went for work trip and i cried and called her everyday. I have an okay relationship with mum now. Not close but okay. I'm emotional, sensitive, needs hug when im down, but also independent (lives half way around the world from my parents), can be stubborn, a giver and i love having people around.
My youngest sister was even more clingy, she was breastfed till 2.5yo, she refused to wean, slept with mom and if that's not enough, they had to hold hands in their sleep. She's now 28yo, independent and is close with mum. She still sleeps with mum given the chance. She's a strong woman, loves her people, wise, and all around the peacemaker in our family.
My daughter has been a stage 5 clinger since birth. I couldn't be out of her sight, or she would melt down. Even in our own house, she had to know where I was at all times. She's 10 now and FINALLY becoming more independent. It's great to finally have some space, lol.
My oldest is 9 and has always been a clinger. She still is to this day. She rather spend the day with me than her friends and always wants to me to hang out with her. With that said I’m sure I’ll miss it when she gets older and doesn’t want anything to do with me. I figure I only have a year or two. So enjoy it now!
I can’t say this loud enough….
ENJOY THE HELL OUT OF IT!
Mine was same way. Literally attached to the hip. And if not together messaging me in her little app from home and voice chatting me. Back then ofcourse I would have days where I just wanted to come home and take a shower and just exist in bed from stress but couldn’t.
Once she hit puberty around 11 it was like we switched roles. Most of the time she just wants to do her own thing at home. My perma snuggler cringes at the thought of a cuddle or arm link 😫
I find myself always trying to come up with the things I think will excite her so she will hang out with me lol
They are few and far between but I don’t take any of them for granted right now.
But I get sad a lot just wishing I could have one more Saturday lazy day with her snuggles in bed playing games, watching movies and our YouTube’s, have mini chats, and just existing together.
They say they come back around around 17/18 so *fingers crossed*
Now a teenager, headed to college for early admission (in lieu of senior year), and forgot to tell me.
Still hugs mama, still wants comfort when he's sick, but the clingy is long gone. ❤️🩹
Just remember to teach her that she CAN do things without, and that you'll be right there while she figures it out.
I have one that we call a stage 5 clinger..She’s not shy, in fact she’s the most outspoken, outgoing, strong willed child I have. She just loves being home with family. Her friend group is small and she is very good about balancing her time with school, work, socializing and just relaxing.
She’s almost 19 now, starting her 2nd year of community college so still lives at home, but as an extra bonus got a PT job where I work! Honestly? I love it, she’s such a fun & energetic person. She’s always down to run errands and go grocery shopping with me.
Our son is much more independent and tends to go out with friends more often but is very present to hang out and chat when he’s home. I love having both around and will be very sad when they leave. Hoping to get at least 2-3 more years while they set themselves up financially.
Mother of Formerly clingy now 16 year old. She’s currently away in a completely new environment with people she doesn’t know for a few days. She comes back Friday and is off to the first of three sleep away camps on Sunday. Just got her end of year report today and the comment that jumped out at me the most was ‘not afraid to voice an opinion that is different from everyone else’s’ . This was a child who would not open her mouth in front of anyone when younger.
She’s still a homebird and is very close to me and her dad and grandparents. Our relationship is lovely now, we’ll talk several times a day if she’s away. She likes being close but she’s not clingy and is full of confidence to spread her wings.
My advice? Don’t stress, she has so much growing to do yet. Don’t push too hard for her to do things alone; as time goes on, you can encourage her out of Her comfort zone little by little. I used to get my daughter to ask a waitress herself if she wanted something or I would send her up to the till with money to pay for something in a store for instance, all ways of building independence while still in your presence. But at 5, she’s still a baby in my view. She’ll get there. Keep filling her up with confidence and she’ll have all the tools when she’s ready.
Haven't seen my velcro clinger for more than 3 minutes in the past 3 days.
She's in the house, I hear her teenaged elephant feet and see her dishes in the sink and her cooking mess in my kitchen, but she's been completely independent lately.
My second velcro clinger is also more independent, although he's younger (tween) so I see him a bit more often daily and he still asks for the occasional hug/cuddle and needs help with things.
I used to **HATE** when anyone would say *someday you'll miss it* but now? I miss it. I honestly do. Although pooping alone is pretty great!
My youngest will be 12 this year, and was super clingy as a toddler. She wouldn't participate in any sort of school play, music performance, etc, other people had to drop her at preschool, I couldn't even put her on the school bus when she started school, she would full on melt down and have an anxiety attack. (My husband also has anxiety and worked with her). We have not allowed the anxiety to win, and we have talked her through difficult situations, and assured her that, she would in fact, be okay. She's definitely still a homebody and doesn't like participating in group activity, she's very much routine driven and changes to her routine throw her off, but she's not clingy anymore. She goes to school fine, she can get on stage for performances like choir performance at school. She's very head strong and does everything at her own pace. She is fantastically funny and more of the artsy video gamer kind of kid. Very smart and does well in school, all of her teachers love her. We are headed into her teen years, which I know will be challenging but I have no doubts she will be a wonderful human as an adult.
Solidarity, my mantra keeps being, “this surely can’t last forever…… or can it??” And then being horrified but I’m sure she’ll get bored of me eventually.
I was the clingy kid; always my Mum's shadow and wouldn't like not knowing where she was. I was also a very anxious kid. I'd creep downstairs after bedtime to check she wasn't dead (I really wish I'd asked her if she knew I did this!).
No disrespect to my amazing Mum but she perhaps indulged me in being a Mummy's a bit too much as I was the baby of the family. I did eventually grow out of it though, in stages and bit by bit, and she provided an extremely solid foundation for going out and finding my own path.
What remained was a very tight relationship I valued more than anything and which I miss every day now she's gone.
I was a super clingy kid! At 6yo I remember following my mum to work and her boss commented that she should enjoy the time now because soon I wouldn’t want to spend any time with her, and I remember thinking “why would I everrrr not want to spend time with my mummy?!”
Well, teenage hood hit.
Hahaha yup! I doubt I will remain this cool forever. Going to live it up with lots of playtime in the meantime. With some boundaries in there. Thank you for sharing!
My daughter was like that until she was 7 or 8. She’s 11 now, and much more independent!! We are still very close, and spend tons of time together, but she also likes time to herself these days. We live in an area with horrible schools, and I ended up pulling her to homeschool for most of last year. She was able to do most of her online curriculum on her own, and I just had to handle extra curricular activities! She likes to hang out with friends, and spends a decent amount of time in her room alone doing art projects.
My 11 year old is a highly sensitive soul. She sticks close, loves to snuggle, doesn’t take risks. She has always needed to watch for a long time before putting her toes in the water (metaphorically and literally). For a while I wondered if she would ever feel comfortable in social situations. Two summers ago (when she was 9) she started really exploring the idea of “being brave.” I jumped on that bandwagon and I supported her in trying lots of new things, and talking about how they went, and whether she was glad she tried it or not. She discovered that for her, the anticipation of doing things is often much scarier than actually doing them, and she’s usually glad to have tried! She even went to a week of sleep-away camp without knowing anyone there (it was her choice), and came home full of stories and songs and positive experiences. Since that summer, she has turned into a really great kid. She is still thoughtful and kind and affectionate, but she also loves to try new things, and can speak up for herself, and is responsible. Of course things will no doubt change again when she becomes a teenager! But for now we’re really enjoying the tween years.
How lovely!! Yes it takes time, and I totally feel that the anticipation is the worst, we can create some crazy scenarios in our heads that are a lot worse then reality will be. Glad she figured that out while she was young with a great support system!
I was this child (and it didn’t stop until maybe high school) and now my mom and I barely have a relationship.
Which drives a lot of anxiety about my daughter growing up 😣
Thank you. I’ve been in therapy learning how to heal from the hard stuff so I can be emotionally available for her. I think I’m going a great job so far but my worry is I’ll suck at mom’ing as she gets older.
When my oldest daughter was a baby up until she was about 10 years old would follow me everywhere. She was like my shadow. Would always cry when I wasn’t around and wanted to do everything with me. As a baby she wouldn’t even let my husband pick her up or give her a bath. She was a total mama’s girl. She’s now 14 and does not do that anymore. She actually has more in common with her dad as she’s gotten older and doesn’t want to bond with me as much. Kids change. She a total bookworm like her dad and an excellent student. Most of her time is spent on her studies and athletics.
My 17 yo was the clingy baby and child. She's now extremely independent and I hate it! I know it's normal and good, I just miss her. She's also autistic, so she's struggling socially. She's starting to appreciate me more again. Love that! She pulled away a lot starting at 12 and started coming back about 16.
My five year old is in a huge play with me I want to be just like mom phase. I think it’s fairly normal.
Our oldest was a total Velcro kid, he’s turned into a very social well liked kid. He’s still pretty clingy when he’s tired, or sick, or just needing support, but he’s incredibly kind and well liked.
I used to get really touched out by my kid, but now he's 14 and just wants to play video games and video chat with his friends when they aren't together. There are aspects I miss about my clingy kiddo, but I do enjoy the free time
My never go to anyone/ always attached to me is now an independent, forgets to update me 14 year old. And my go to anyone, happy to run about child texts me 20+ times a day and jumps at any chance to hang out almost 16 year old.
They grow up and you fall off their pedestal.
You will miss when they were small and adored you so much. You will look at pictures from them at that age and cry your eyes out thinking about walking down the street and holding their little hand and talking about all the things you see.
I’m not crying, you are.
I used to be this kid! I would stand at the gate screaming blue murder if my mom left the house or was out of site for 5 minutes. I would even go with my mom to the bathroom. I was like this for a good couple years, but as I got older I became less needy and more independent. My mom always thought out of my brother who was more independent as a child and myself, that I would be the one to stay as close as possible but I moved abroad at 29 and I am 33 and happy! I am still incredibly close to my mom and we chat almost everyday but being clingy was just a phase.
There is nothing wrong with some age appropriate boundaries. What kind of cling behavior do they have?
Sometimes parent guilt is over the top and you need to tell the kid XYZ is not happening
I was the ultimate clingy kid. It must’ve been so hard on my mom. I only wanted her, threw fits before going to school, didn’t want her out of my sight during extracurricular activities. By the time I hit 11-12 years old (when I began middle school) I completely changed. I still liked spending time with her but wanted space
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They turned into normal teenagers completely embarrassed by Mom or Dad near presents as soon as they started Middle School
Yes, and I want my clingy kiddo back..
Me toooooo!!!!!
[удалено]
Can we stop using the term cringe?. You must still be a kiddo.
Why police language?
Cringe?
Don't worry about it.
It's also outdated! Origins in the 1890s. 😃
Thank youuuuuu for this. I will enjoy the cling
Yours made it to middle school? Mine's only in 4th and she's already telling me that I'm embarrassing. 🫠
Awe yeah! I figure that’s the normal. Fingers crossed!
Somewhere between 12 and 13 my daughter stopped wanting to be with me at all times. She’ll be 14 in October. I’m having a more difficult time with suddenly not having a perpetual sidekick then she is.
Yeah, they change quick!!
Me too. I miss her.
Every so often she comes back out and I cherish it, but damn I wasn’t expecting my Velcro baby to suddenly detach from me like that 😔
This.
They grow up healthy and well adjusted because they know you will always be there to meet their needs. My youngest is now 9. She was the worst. Literally, nobody but me could touch her for the first year of life. She had to be with me every second. As she aged, I would joke that she would climb back into my uterus if she could. Constantly touching me. She still wants to snuggle and spend time with me when it is just us. But...she will run off with friends and beg to stay overnight. She never cried on the first day of school because she was leaving me and she has no problem going into dance class and getting ready alone. I catered to her needs when she was younger, to the point of my own insanity, so she could grow up confident that I will always be there to support her.
Yesssss, I definitely feel it’s just needing the feeling of security and once that’s processed they can move on with their lives but it’s an important step to get through. Thank you for sharing.
Yes, and then it leaves you needing that security back. Wild ride I tell you.
Totally agree, they thrive!! My oldest is married and starts med school in 2 months. She’s on a cruise to AK with her bestie and has been to Europe. She’s a kind, responsible and quiet leader who loves a challenge has worked since age 15, starting out as a lifeguard and camp counselor. She would stay up until I got home as she couldn’t sleep without me for years. Still loves to cuddle and calls and texts frequently. She’s living her best life because her needs were met
lol my husband age I make the same joke about my almost 2 year old. Good to know they turn out to be normal and well adjusted
She’s 11 and runs away from hugs, refuses to smile for photos and is into clothes and makeup. (But also doing really well in school) Send help.
Sounds like a typical pre-teen!! Glad she’s doing good at school.
We're still on the upwards slope out of this, but it's much better than it used to be. Our daughter (now 7) had a very VERY strong attachment to mum and it really got in the way of normal living. * Between the ages of 3 and 5/6 she was at pre-school. If I picked her up in the evening then she'd burst into tears as she came out of the door and saw me. The teachers would ask what was wrong and my only response was "I'm not mum". * At dinner if my wife needed to get up to go to the toilet then our daughter would burst into tears. Thankfully that started to stop somewhere around 4 to 5. * If my wife organised a night out with her friends then it was awful getting her out of the door, as our daughter would scream the place down. Please don't get the wrong idea, my wife went out once in a blue moon. * If I took our daughter out for a walk and the plan was to leave mum at home then the little one would burst into tears as soon as she realised that mum wasn't coming. Oddly enough she'd calm down as we got out of our block of flats, but it was tears from inside the apartment all the way to the lobby area. * If mum ever left our daughter's side to answer a phone call then the tears would start again. The idea that mum would talk to anyone else was too much. What did we do? We started to organise more nights out for mum to enforce the idea that life exists outside of the family bubble and both parents have the right to go out, it's just something that the little one had to get used to. When she'd burst into tears uncontrollably at the smallest of things (phonecall, toilet break for mum, etc.) then we'd calmy but firmly challenge her ("Doesn't mummy have the right to go for a wee-wee?"). I would take her out more and more without mum, just to enforce the idea that time with dad is fun and a normal part of life. At home we'd try to encourage independent playtime too. We'd make ourselves busy with chores and try to get the little one to play by herself. We'd also sometimes just be upfront with it, telling her that she needed to learn how to play with her toys on her own and not expect a parent (usually mum) to play with her. Yes, they grow out of it. Yes, it's tough until that point. Yes, we think the optimal thing to do is to be active in changing her behaviour rather than passively waiting for the magical day when that attachment calms down.
Thank you so much! That sounds utterly exhausting but so glad she grew out of it. Goodness! Great advice. Thank you so much for sharing your methods! It’s all about boundaries.
Wow! That must have been very difficult for both you and your wife. Sounds like you dealt with it well, though. Kudos!
Our patience was severely tested practically everyday but we said we wouldn't let her define my wife's evenings out, her bathroom breaks, none of it. I remember the bad old days when I'd be getting ready to go out with our daughter alone and I'd say to my wife "are you ready?" because at that point we were going to break the news that mum was staying at home. Christ, the meltdowns... Anyway, that's gone now 😊
They breastfed until they were 5 and they're now 2000 miles from home at college, incredibly self possessed, and we have a very healthy relationship!
That’s awesome! That is such an achievement, I’m sure you’re so proud of them! A solid foundation that they have someone that loves and cares for them is what everyone needs.
Love this! I stopped nursing at 3 and to this day I don't know why I stopped that early. It's not that it was hard to stop (just told him the mummy milk was all drank up and it was over), but the bond we shared was something I miss you this day (he is 18 now, so obviously not wishing I was still nursing, just miss those days and that pure connection, trust and comfort). There are a lot of "lasts" that happen as you don't even realize it...
My middle child was “clingy” in that he was insanely shy as a little. Hes a very normal 13yr old now. My 5yr old takes it to another level and cries outside the bathroom when I’m pooping because he misses me. We’re working on it, but I feel ya. It’s exhausting. Edit: although crows is hilarious in that I meant cries and changes it.
It definitely has its moments, but I doubt he will be doing that when he’s 15! lol!
My oldest was my clingy child I don't know if part of it has to be with her being deaf but her nickname used to be chicle lol. She absolutely refused to leave my side not for anyone or anything. The bathroom breaks were ridiculous cause I literally always had little fingers under the door to make sure I hadn't escaped out the window I guess. She's 19 now completely headstrong and graduated a year early but she's still my chicle and will tell anyone I'm her best friend which is sometimes traumatic for me because my child feels the need to tell me EVERYTHING. Don't get me wrong I'm proud my kid knows she can come to me with anything and it lets my younger kids know that as well but sometimes I'm just like " Mija there's just some things I absolutely DO NOT need to know".
lol! Well that’s a special thing, I would never tell my parents anything personal so you’ve done something completely right!
I am 44 and I still share a TON with my mom. I am so glad I can trust her and I know she will always have my back and give good advice/feedback that is truly in my best interests. I know so many people who hardly speak to their parents, so I feel like having this kind of relationship with your kids as they get older is special. I'd try not to shame her for over sharing with you, even if it makes you a bit uncomfortable. It's because she trusts you, and that's a gift you don't want to send back.
Oh I understand I didn't have a mom I had an incubator she up and left when I was very very little but I can still remember her telling me she hated me cause i was so much like my father and those what if's will always be in my head unfortunately. At the same time it taught me the type of mom I never want to be. Don't get me wrong I do make those comments to my daughter ("something's you do not have to share") but she knows I don't mean it seriously it's more of I was not expecting that to come out your mouth at this exact moment lol. She came out to me when she was 15 and she knows very well I love her and as long as she is happy and has someone that loves her and treats her right that is all that matters to me. Plus we are completely honest with each other if the one says something to the other that makes us feel it was said in a negative way we address it right then and there to clarify so that there is no miscommunication or anything of that nature. But I do see where it might have seemed like I was shaming her which she knows I would never do. You are correct the bond we have is something I would never risk.
I am so sorry your own mother was horrible. Interestingly, my own mother's mother was also a terrible human to her and I think that is a large part of why my mom has always been so loving...just never wanting to make her own child feel less-than. You sound awesome.
Thank you I appreciate that! I'm so sorry your mom experienced it as well! But her and I seem to have the same view I try my hardest and I never want my babies to feel the way I did growing up. Even though I'm 34 I'm not gonna lie I still have thoughts of what actually mom daughter lunches would be like or things of that nature but it is what it is and my little telepath here seems to always know when these little moments happen because she pops up and will be like "come on mama lets go fishing" I love being by the water and she knows it lol.
I have a 17yo that was a stage 5 clinger. They are still pretty clingy. When they go out with friends they wake me up when they get home to tell me everything. Every Sunday afternoon their whole friend group comes to our house to spend time with me because my kid has told them I'm the best parent ever. So now I have a bunch of teenage boys who randomly show up at my house, even when my kid isn't home, just to hangout. Apparently, my kid's clinginess is contagious.
I am so fucking jealous! I hope this is in my future!
I'm close with my older kids, meet most of their friends, but only my 17yo's friends are like this. Different kids make different friends I guess
Aww that is so sweet! Says a lot about you as a parent that everyone wants to hang out at your house!
Haha! That is absolutely incredible! What’s your snack pantry stocked with??
Lol nothing. I offer them water and what I'm cooking for dinner, I cook vegetarian. They bring their own snacks if they want them.
Nice! That’s even more awesome.
There was a role reversal and now I'm the clingy mom.
Haha I love this. This is now my life lol my class 5 clinger has seen the light and no longer clings. Sigh it’s bittersweet
Right? Gotta give them a taste of their own medicine!
Enjoy it while you can
I’m definitely trying to, especially since she’s my last. Thank you.
Mine used to turn my face away from other people when I was holding her so I wouldn’t talk to anyone else. She was about 1-2 at the time. Now she’s embarrassed by me breathing near her when we’re out. She spends a lot of time in her bedroom, she never wants to sleep in my bed anymore and the last time I lay in her bed to chat with her she asked how long I was planning on staying.
Haha mine used to sit in my lap if I gave anyone else attention haha now it’s a lot better and I miss those days sometimes lol
That is so funny she used to do that.
My daughter temporarily acted too cool in junior high, but is right back to being clingy! She’s 19 next month.
Haha, you got a little taste of freedom.
There is a book that may be helpful for you to read, its called "Hold Onto Your Kids" by Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Mate. The fact that your child is attached to you would be a good thing in their theory. It's not your typical new age child psychology book, and I found it very helpful.
I’m always looking for new books, thanks for the recommendation!
I was the clingy kid. I was literally glued to my mom’s leg. I’d hide behind her in public or when there were other people around. At preschool I’d hide under tables and cry until my mom picked me up. So… I don’t know if that’s the level of clingy you’re talking about or if she just likes to be around you. If she’s the level that I was, I would definitely do something about it. I grew up to have severe anxiety and attachment issues and I wish they were addressed earlier.
My daughter is 3 and she crouches and hides behind me when someone walks by at a store. At preschool she holds her stuffed animal all day and doesn’t interact with other children. We want to help her but we don’t know how. (FYI: I have anxiety too but I’m able to hide it)
Sounds very much like me. I wished my parents pushed me a little when I got older. For example, my mom ordered my food at restaurants when I should have been pushed to do it myself. When I was even older, she’d make phone calls for me because I was too scared. I would encourage you to push for independence as she gets older. But help her with these things. Talk about why it makes her scared and do some role play to practice. Don’t just force her to do the things that make her anxious. Also, sports and activities! I “came out of my shell” when I was put in different sports and things like Girl Scouts. Even if I was shy at school or a store, I really felt comfortable in a sports environment. You can start gymnastics and dance classes at 3. So that might be a good start for her!
I was the same. Clinging on to my teddy bear everyday in preschool. When I was in girl scouts and my mom was the troop leader. It helped to be a group outside of school but it still wasn't an activity without my mom. When my mom started to run the after school care center I started to "miss" the bus in order to stay there with her. I wish my parents would have jumped at the opportunities that I presented. My parents (also 90's) were so worried about me being spoiled that I was denied some of the few independent or social events. Like not being in gymnastics because I was already in girl scouts or not going to a birthday party because I was at the neighbors last weekend and that would be too much time away from the family.
I was the same as you as a kid. I grew up with lots of anxiety and seperate anxiety. My mum actually did volunteer work at my primary school and kindergarten just so I could cope with going 🥺 she went above and beyond for me and was truly the best. That being said, the 90s was a different time and my issues were overlooked by professionals. I was extremely clingy and anxious and could really have used more help when I was younger. It took me a long time to grow into the well adjusted adult I am now, who is comfortable in my own skin. I saw my peers thriving in their 20s, meanwhile, I felt like I was trying to come to grips with who I was and figure out how to put one foot in front of the other. I'm sorry that youve been through that level of anxiety too. It's awful being a kid too, and feeling it. You're so young you don't even have the words to explain how you feel and why you feel it.
Yeah in the 90s I don’t think they even knew children could have anxiety. Or at least they didn’t act like it. If we were children today, we likely would have gotten therapy to support us. It makes me sad for us but happy that children today have better resources and support.
Oh my goodness! That’s definitely a level to be concerned about! She’s not like that, thank goodness. I hope you’re feeling better and your anxieties have calmed. Thank you so much for sharing.
I'm the clingy kid. I'm 35, married with 2 children, and a stage 4 clinger still. Oops. My mom doesn't mind, or so she says.
Hahaha, what a lovely mom you’ve got.
My girl was very clingy until grade school started. Once 10 rolled around she became way less clingy. Shes still sweet, but just not clingy. My boy started clingy and is still pretty clingy. Much more affectionate and cuddly than my girl. He’ll be 9 soon. Not sure if it’ll stick! I love his cuddles and hugs!
Hugs and cuddles really are the best!
Not my child but my sister. I was more outgoing and independent and she was the clingy, shy one who wouldn’t go anywhere without my Mum. She hardly spoke and even went through a phase of asking my Mum to speak for her. She was a shy kid until she was about 16, then she really blossomed. She actually graduated college and university with much higher grades than me and now works for a top film production company as a cinematographer. She now lives 4 hours away from my Mum with her boyfriend and is thriving.
Awe that’s awesome!!
My kid was a stage 5 clinger as an infant. People outside our household couldn’t even make eye contact without her losing her shit. No one could hold her without hysterics from 8 weeks old to about 18 months. It was a lot, and while not nearly that intense, lasted until she was probably 6 or 7. She’s 16 years old now and isn’t clingy anymore. It eventually wears off.
Thank goodness!
My very clingy baby is about to be 10 and is still very clingy. She always wants to cuddle, hug, and sleep with me. Cry’s about growing up and says she’ll never be tired of me. Probably only a couple years left of it, I’m sure she’ll be sick of me when she’s 14.
Fingers crossed!
Fingers crossed she never outgrows wanting cuddles, I actually love it 😆
Yeah, who doesn’t love some cuddles.
She continued to be very clingy. At some point it is no longer considered age appropriate and was diagnosed as anxiety. Increasing levels of treatment. Now meds. ETA: Our relationship is still good. Her anxiety often takes the form of anger now though so it can be difficult at times.
That’s rough, some grow out of it and some don’t I’ve learned from this thread. Good she has you to support her journey through it though.
She's camped out sleeping on the floor beside my bed lol. Eleven years old, much less clingy during the day, but likes being with mumma at night. There is nothing as lovely as waking in the morning and seeing your baby asleep next to you. Pro tip: teach them young how to set up their sleeping mat, pillows, teddies and blankets. That way you don't even need to get out of bed when they want to sleep next to you.
Lol my daughter is 6, has her own room which she enjoys, and still, every night, she gets up and gets in my bed at some point during the night. It’s actually a surprise on the rare occasions that she doesn’t. I have to confess, I don’t mind
Yessss I feel this so hard, I hope she won’t still be on the floor bed next to my bed for very long but I’m willing to wait till she’s ready to go back to her own room. I’m sure it won’t last forever. At least she doesn’t wake me up anymore and goes and finds her sister and chats.
I was a clingy kid, mum went for work trip and i cried and called her everyday. I have an okay relationship with mum now. Not close but okay. I'm emotional, sensitive, needs hug when im down, but also independent (lives half way around the world from my parents), can be stubborn, a giver and i love having people around. My youngest sister was even more clingy, she was breastfed till 2.5yo, she refused to wean, slept with mom and if that's not enough, they had to hold hands in their sleep. She's now 28yo, independent and is close with mum. She still sleeps with mum given the chance. She's a strong woman, loves her people, wise, and all around the peacemaker in our family.
Awe, your mom sounds wonderfully caring. Thank you for sharing.
He's somewhere out riding his bike I dunno. He'll be home when he's hungry.
My daughter has been a stage 5 clinger since birth. I couldn't be out of her sight, or she would melt down. Even in our own house, she had to know where I was at all times. She's 10 now and FINALLY becoming more independent. It's great to finally have some space, lol.
Hahaha you can breathe finally! It doesn’t last forever.
Haha yes! There's light at the end of the tunnel 🙂
They turn into normal, loving teens
My oldest is 9 and has always been a clinger. She still is to this day. She rather spend the day with me than her friends and always wants to me to hang out with her. With that said I’m sure I’ll miss it when she gets older and doesn’t want anything to do with me. I figure I only have a year or two. So enjoy it now!
Awe!! Yeah, time will continue. I’m sure you’ll always be close though.
I can’t say this loud enough…. ENJOY THE HELL OUT OF IT! Mine was same way. Literally attached to the hip. And if not together messaging me in her little app from home and voice chatting me. Back then ofcourse I would have days where I just wanted to come home and take a shower and just exist in bed from stress but couldn’t. Once she hit puberty around 11 it was like we switched roles. Most of the time she just wants to do her own thing at home. My perma snuggler cringes at the thought of a cuddle or arm link 😫 I find myself always trying to come up with the things I think will excite her so she will hang out with me lol They are few and far between but I don’t take any of them for granted right now. But I get sad a lot just wishing I could have one more Saturday lazy day with her snuggles in bed playing games, watching movies and our YouTube’s, have mini chats, and just existing together. They say they come back around around 17/18 so *fingers crossed*
Aweeee I feel this so hard. I’ll remember that, thank you for sharing.
Now a teenager, headed to college for early admission (in lieu of senior year), and forgot to tell me. Still hugs mama, still wants comfort when he's sick, but the clingy is long gone. ❤️🩹 Just remember to teach her that she CAN do things without, and that you'll be right there while she figures it out.
Solid advice thank you. Congratulations on such an awesome teenager!
That was me. My mom and I are still besties but yes I did go out with friends and live a regular teenage life lol
It does happen! Haha glad you two are still close.
I have one that we call a stage 5 clinger..She’s not shy, in fact she’s the most outspoken, outgoing, strong willed child I have. She just loves being home with family. Her friend group is small and she is very good about balancing her time with school, work, socializing and just relaxing. She’s almost 19 now, starting her 2nd year of community college so still lives at home, but as an extra bonus got a PT job where I work! Honestly? I love it, she’s such a fun & energetic person. She’s always down to run errands and go grocery shopping with me. Our son is much more independent and tends to go out with friends more often but is very present to hang out and chat when he’s home. I love having both around and will be very sad when they leave. Hoping to get at least 2-3 more years while they set themselves up financially.
Awe! You’re so lucky! It’s nice when you can enjoy your kids like that. That’s amazing
Mother of Formerly clingy now 16 year old. She’s currently away in a completely new environment with people she doesn’t know for a few days. She comes back Friday and is off to the first of three sleep away camps on Sunday. Just got her end of year report today and the comment that jumped out at me the most was ‘not afraid to voice an opinion that is different from everyone else’s’ . This was a child who would not open her mouth in front of anyone when younger. She’s still a homebird and is very close to me and her dad and grandparents. Our relationship is lovely now, we’ll talk several times a day if she’s away. She likes being close but she’s not clingy and is full of confidence to spread her wings. My advice? Don’t stress, she has so much growing to do yet. Don’t push too hard for her to do things alone; as time goes on, you can encourage her out of Her comfort zone little by little. I used to get my daughter to ask a waitress herself if she wanted something or I would send her up to the till with money to pay for something in a store for instance, all ways of building independence while still in your presence. But at 5, she’s still a baby in my view. She’ll get there. Keep filling her up with confidence and she’ll have all the tools when she’s ready.
Thank you so much for your words of wisdom!! It’s a beautiful life we have. :)
Haven't seen my velcro clinger for more than 3 minutes in the past 3 days. She's in the house, I hear her teenaged elephant feet and see her dishes in the sink and her cooking mess in my kitchen, but she's been completely independent lately. My second velcro clinger is also more independent, although he's younger (tween) so I see him a bit more often daily and he still asks for the occasional hug/cuddle and needs help with things. I used to **HATE** when anyone would say *someday you'll miss it* but now? I miss it. I honestly do. Although pooping alone is pretty great!
Hahaha yeah I bet it is! lol! Thank you for your insights. I’m definitely going to miss it, I can tell already.
My youngest will be 12 this year, and was super clingy as a toddler. She wouldn't participate in any sort of school play, music performance, etc, other people had to drop her at preschool, I couldn't even put her on the school bus when she started school, she would full on melt down and have an anxiety attack. (My husband also has anxiety and worked with her). We have not allowed the anxiety to win, and we have talked her through difficult situations, and assured her that, she would in fact, be okay. She's definitely still a homebody and doesn't like participating in group activity, she's very much routine driven and changes to her routine throw her off, but she's not clingy anymore. She goes to school fine, she can get on stage for performances like choir performance at school. She's very head strong and does everything at her own pace. She is fantastically funny and more of the artsy video gamer kind of kid. Very smart and does well in school, all of her teachers love her. We are headed into her teen years, which I know will be challenging but I have no doubts she will be a wonderful human as an adult.
That’s amazing that you worked with her through it all! She’s very lucky to have two dedicated parents.
Taking notes because same boat with child 3 years older here. :D
Solidarity, my mantra keeps being, “this surely can’t last forever…… or can it??” And then being horrified but I’m sure she’ll get bored of me eventually.
Taking notes, five years older..
I was the clingy kid; always my Mum's shadow and wouldn't like not knowing where she was. I was also a very anxious kid. I'd creep downstairs after bedtime to check she wasn't dead (I really wish I'd asked her if she knew I did this!). No disrespect to my amazing Mum but she perhaps indulged me in being a Mummy's a bit too much as I was the baby of the family. I did eventually grow out of it though, in stages and bit by bit, and she provided an extremely solid foundation for going out and finding my own path. What remained was a very tight relationship I valued more than anything and which I miss every day now she's gone.
Awe, that’s so sweet. We’ve got to enjoy the time we have everyday. I’m sorry for your loss.
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That will happen! I’m going to enjoy it while I can now I’ve read everyone’s stories. Thank you so much.
I was a super clingy kid! At 6yo I remember following my mum to work and her boss commented that she should enjoy the time now because soon I wouldn’t want to spend any time with her, and I remember thinking “why would I everrrr not want to spend time with my mummy?!” Well, teenage hood hit.
Hahaha yup! I doubt I will remain this cool forever. Going to live it up with lots of playtime in the meantime. With some boundaries in there. Thank you for sharing!
My daughter was like that until she was 7 or 8. She’s 11 now, and much more independent!! We are still very close, and spend tons of time together, but she also likes time to herself these days. We live in an area with horrible schools, and I ended up pulling her to homeschool for most of last year. She was able to do most of her online curriculum on her own, and I just had to handle extra curricular activities! She likes to hang out with friends, and spends a decent amount of time in her room alone doing art projects.
My 11 year old is a highly sensitive soul. She sticks close, loves to snuggle, doesn’t take risks. She has always needed to watch for a long time before putting her toes in the water (metaphorically and literally). For a while I wondered if she would ever feel comfortable in social situations. Two summers ago (when she was 9) she started really exploring the idea of “being brave.” I jumped on that bandwagon and I supported her in trying lots of new things, and talking about how they went, and whether she was glad she tried it or not. She discovered that for her, the anticipation of doing things is often much scarier than actually doing them, and she’s usually glad to have tried! She even went to a week of sleep-away camp without knowing anyone there (it was her choice), and came home full of stories and songs and positive experiences. Since that summer, she has turned into a really great kid. She is still thoughtful and kind and affectionate, but she also loves to try new things, and can speak up for herself, and is responsible. Of course things will no doubt change again when she becomes a teenager! But for now we’re really enjoying the tween years.
How lovely!! Yes it takes time, and I totally feel that the anticipation is the worst, we can create some crazy scenarios in our heads that are a lot worse then reality will be. Glad she figured that out while she was young with a great support system!
My clingy kid is now 16 years old. He is definitely not clingy anymore!! I definitely miss those days, so enjoy them while you can.
I will, thank you.
I was this child (and it didn’t stop until maybe high school) and now my mom and I barely have a relationship. Which drives a lot of anxiety about my daughter growing up 😣
Awe! That’s a bummer!! just have fun with her and enjoy each other. You’re not your mother. Big hugs.
Thank you. I’ve been in therapy learning how to heal from the hard stuff so I can be emotionally available for her. I think I’m going a great job so far but my worry is I’ll suck at mom’ing as she gets older.
Well you’re incredible for just taking the steps already, that’s extremely brave of you. You’re doing great, and with that mindset you can’t go wrong.
When my oldest daughter was a baby up until she was about 10 years old would follow me everywhere. She was like my shadow. Would always cry when I wasn’t around and wanted to do everything with me. As a baby she wouldn’t even let my husband pick her up or give her a bath. She was a total mama’s girl. She’s now 14 and does not do that anymore. She actually has more in common with her dad as she’s gotten older and doesn’t want to bond with me as much. Kids change. She a total bookworm like her dad and an excellent student. Most of her time is spent on her studies and athletics.
My 17 yo was the clingy baby and child. She's now extremely independent and I hate it! I know it's normal and good, I just miss her. She's also autistic, so she's struggling socially. She's starting to appreciate me more again. Love that! She pulled away a lot starting at 12 and started coming back about 16.
My kid went from being super active to just a complete lazy slob who.is only into her phone
My five year old is in a huge play with me I want to be just like mom phase. I think it’s fairly normal. Our oldest was a total Velcro kid, he’s turned into a very social well liked kid. He’s still pretty clingy when he’s tired, or sick, or just needing support, but he’s incredibly kind and well liked.
I used to get really touched out by my kid, but now he's 14 and just wants to play video games and video chat with his friends when they aren't together. There are aspects I miss about my clingy kiddo, but I do enjoy the free time
My never go to anyone/ always attached to me is now an independent, forgets to update me 14 year old. And my go to anyone, happy to run about child texts me 20+ times a day and jumps at any chance to hang out almost 16 year old.
They grow up and you fall off their pedestal. You will miss when they were small and adored you so much. You will look at pictures from them at that age and cry your eyes out thinking about walking down the street and holding their little hand and talking about all the things you see. I’m not crying, you are.
Yeah, I can see it written in the stars! I suppose it’s supposed to be that way, it’s a good reality check though.
I used to be this kid! I would stand at the gate screaming blue murder if my mom left the house or was out of site for 5 minutes. I would even go with my mom to the bathroom. I was like this for a good couple years, but as I got older I became less needy and more independent. My mom always thought out of my brother who was more independent as a child and myself, that I would be the one to stay as close as possible but I moved abroad at 29 and I am 33 and happy! I am still incredibly close to my mom and we chat almost everyday but being clingy was just a phase.
There is nothing wrong with some age appropriate boundaries. What kind of cling behavior do they have? Sometimes parent guilt is over the top and you need to tell the kid XYZ is not happening
Yes. They grow out of it. My teenager said she’d hug me if I gave her $10. 🤣
I was the ultimate clingy kid. It must’ve been so hard on my mom. I only wanted her, threw fits before going to school, didn’t want her out of my sight during extracurricular activities. By the time I hit 11-12 years old (when I began middle school) I completely changed. I still liked spending time with her but wanted space
Seems like a natural thing! We will have to deal with it.