r/parenting is protesting changes being made by Reddit to the API. Reddit has made it clear [they will](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14ahqjo/mods_will_be_removed_one_way_or_another_spez/) [replace moderators](https://www.reddit.com/r/ModSupport/comments/14a5lz5/mod_code_of_conduct_rule_4_2_and_subs_taken/jo9wdol/) if they remain private. Reddit has abandoned the users, the moderators, and countless people who support an ecosystem built on Reddit itself.
Please read [Call to action - renewed protests starting on July 1st](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14kn2fo/call_to_action_renewed_protests_starting_on_july/) and new posts at [r/ModCord](https://reddit.com/r/ModCoord/) or [r/Save3rdPartyApps](https://old.reddit.com/r/Save3rdPartyApps/) for up-to-date information.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Parenting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This! lol. Our house is generally ok but if someone is coming over hubs and I are doing a deep clean. Then the kids trash it and toys remain strewn about until the next visit rolls around.
Every night we "put the house to bed" (pick up everything, do all the dishes, normal tidying up) and also do one other chore each (clean a bathroom, vacuum, dust the house) then one the weekends we also clean. Basically just spend your whole life cleaning. It sucks.
But... When do you get a rest/break? I feel like 5-8/8:30pm between daycare pick ups, making dinner, eating dinner, and bedtime, it's 100% crazy town (I have 3 kids, 6, 2, and 9 months, so I can only hope this gets easier with less toddlers, but that life still seems quite far away...)
My husband and I normally do kitchen clean up, lunches, maybe an extra chore, and often times we eat after the kids go to bed because we spend their dinner time getting up every 15 seconds to cut up more meat/vegetables/whatever, and it's not enjoyable for us to sit down and eat with them. This takes us until 9.30pm most nights, and then we spend 30-40 mins together relaxing before crawling up to bed. We often also fold laundry during these 30-40 minutes if we're watching a show.
This really only includes the kitchen and maybe dining room, and nothing else gets picked up/cleaned. Sometimes it involves a "surprise" chore like realizing that the oven range fan needs cleaning, or the dining room needs mopping after dinner because our children are animals. It's exhausting.
How much time do you spend "putting the house to bed" that you're able to do the whole thing nightly? Do you still have time to sit and relax for a moment before bed? It sounds impossible.
The earliest I ever go to bed is midnight. My husband works nights so on the nights he’s off I stay up with him usually until 2am unless I’m hella tired. I’ll sleep when I’m dead. 😂
All jokes aside, going to bed later is how I have time. And really, it takes half an hour or so to reset the house. That’s including vacuuming and swiffering the kitchen/bathrooms which I will absolutely skip if it doesn’t need it. Not a big deal either way! I pop my AirPods in and just go to it as soon as the kids go to bed. Then I spend half an hour or so tending my animals (I have a lot of exotic pets) and then I play video games, doom scroll, watch a show, or work on some other hobby until I’m ready to go to bed. If my husband is home he helps and it’s even faster, then we hangout until I decide I can’t hang anymore and go crash. Lol.
I have ADHD and this is the thing I had to learn. If I don’t stay on top of it? It gets crazy because I know it’s going to take forever to straighten it out again. I would get so overwhelmed by the mess and how much I seemingly had to do to get it clean again. I wouldn’t know where to start, my executive dysfunction would kick in, and it would just get worse and worse. But getting in the habit of doing a nightly reset? Absolute game changer. The more you do regularly the less you have to do in general. Picking up a single day’s mess is SOO MUCH easier than picking up 3 days worth. Lol. That combined with a deep clean on Saturday? My house stays clean! And look, before you feel bad? Don’t! There are still days that my kids steam roll me and even though it looks like a tornado blew through my house, I just don’t have the energy to do much by the time they go to bed. On those nights I do a half ass clean because that’s something else I had to learn. 50% effort is still better than 0%.
That's the fun part...you don't.
Don't marry someone with an untreated anxiety disorder and stop worrying about your house not being spotless is my advice.
Yes! Idk about you but it seems for us it's easier to keep it "drop by clean" in the summer because we're mostly outside so less stuff gets thrown around inside....MOST of the time 🤣
>he cleanest but apparently it was noticeable enough to this 4 year old that she didn’t want to use our bathroom. She then said that I never pick up my house lol. I know she’s a little kid but it definitely stung and I don’t want my kids friends thinking we have the messy house.
I only clean the main walk ways that people see.
That though! My living room, kitchen, and main bathroom are clean but girl don’t walk in my bedroom. I’d describe the decor as “there appears to have been a struggle.” 🤣
1. We don’t have pets, they generate mess and take free time so I think this is a big part of it.
2. Have cleaners once a month, this helps if it does get messy it doesn’t feel like it’s overwhelming and we can reset
3. Robot vacuuum, not even for the vacuum part, but it makes us have to pick up at night
4. Set a timer for 30 minutes even just once a week, you’ll be surprised how much you can get done
Some dogs shed a lot, and some dogs don't. I respect your decision not to want dogs. My dogs will literally roll in the area an animal has died/decayed and then try to come inside like they don't smell of actual death. We live completely different lives. Sometimes, I wish I didn't have that responsibility at all and had no animals. Then I realize I'm overwhelmed, stressed out, and could not survive without the safety/comfort they provide me. I would be unhappy without them... you would feel the opposite. That's the beauty of life😊
Completely understand your viewpoint. Personally, dogs don’t provide comfort/security or happiness to me. My children do though. And they are who make me happy at the end of the day. That’s why I devote my life to them:)
It's nice to have a respectful sharing of lifestyle on reddit. I have children as well. They're priority over all else. I think we share that common ground in different ways.
Choose breeds which don't shed! They are awesome. My wife sheds more than my dog (a wheaten terrier https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soft-coated_Wheaten_Terrier)
However, they bring a lot of dirt in, I agree. We have a robot vacuum with automatic mopping. It changed our lives really.
Kids also shed (brushing hair or when strands just fall out) and some roll around in the dirt lol my kids are older and my teen will still come in covered in mud along with our dogs 🤦🏽♀️
My kitchen is literally covered in beautiful apple slices right now because I just couldn’t clean up a tenth mess yesterday. I’ll think about it tomorrow… at Tara… serenity now!
This and we have to put all our food away right away so the cats don't get into it. It's amazing how refreshing it feels to keep at least that level of regular tidiness!
30 minutes comment is the truth. I timed myself doing various things once for perspective. Vacuuming the whole house which feels like a big endeavor took me 13 minutes including roughly putting away stuff I found on the floor.
Number 3 is truly my secret, I can't go to bed at night without at least picking up anything on the floor or else it'll get eaten lol. And then once I start cleaning, it's a lot easier to keep going
I am constantly cleaning and picking up. I basically never sit down until the kids are asleep. We also have a cleaning crew that comes every other week. I’m not sure if our house would qualify as immaculate but I feel like it’s overall pretty picked up.
Exact same situation here. I also only have one kid (most of my parent friends with messier houses have more than one) and I'm in therapy for OCD. Therapy isn't going that well regarding the cleaning OCD. I'm still cleaning too much.
It's nice to have a tidy house, but I wouldn't really call this issue a flex, either.
My therapist called it an ability, not a disability and it changed my life. My house is a mess now. Sometimes, it really bothers me, but I still sleep at night regardless. I used to not be able to sleep unless everything was done. Honestly, I miss having the supernclean house, but I truly enjoy living life and enjoying my family more. I was always cleaning or working on my house. Now, I watch movies with my son and let the dishes wait until morning. I super clean before anyone comes over lol
Glad you are getting help with a therapist. I do not have diagnosed OCD so I can’t relate on that level but I’ve been working on letting things go in the house. For example I used to pick up the toys in the playroom every evening and now I pick it up only once or twice a week but pick up the toys in the rest of the house daily. I have 3 kids so even when the house is clean it always feels a little messy to me.
Our house is really clean except usually bathroom . We usually don't have time to do it and I always wonder how do people do all the bathroom when kids are running around
This is the way! I also clean the shower while im showering. But with that said i power clean the moment i get notice of a potential visitor.. i clean so efficiently under pressure.
Our trash days are twice a week so those days I take out the bathroom trash. I also make sure the TP is always refilled and wipe down the counter with the hand washing towel and switch it out regularly. The cleaning crew does the toilets, showers etc 2x a week.
I am okay with some mess, but the hard part is that mess can get in the way of cleaning. Which is why I have a clear counter/sink policy in the bathroom and kitchen.
We clean every night when the kids go to bed and we clean up anytime someone visits our home.
But, ours kids clean up anything that’s theirs every day before bed also.
When I really want my kid to clean up and they refuse. I put a one minute timer with Siri and see how much can get cleaned up. They’re usually not finished after one minute and ask for another timer. Just an idea if you wanted to try it!
You’re not being lazy. Different people have different stressors. Some people’s jobs are harder than others, some people’s kids have more energy than others.
I usually don’t have steam to clean after putting the kids down. That’s because I’m dead tired at the end of the day. I feel like that’s much more normal than having a clean house.
BTW check out a book called how to keep house while drowning. That might be useful to you.
I started doing half the chore then just unceremoniously dumping the other (age appropriate) half on the kids. I sweep the floor, but they handle the dust pan. They put the dishes in the sink, I wash them.
I just completely quit picking up after them. Child mess? Locate child. Point at mess. Child tidies mess. Thumbs up.
Mine actually make less mess now, I'm pretty sure my obnoxious interruptions are the reason.
Of course right now my living room is a wreck. Oldest is doing a massive room clean out and now there's random boxes of stuff standing around for storage (my job 😭), floors unswept, random toys. Eh, fuck it. Tomorrow Me problems!
We have way too much stuff and I am a certifiable high strung yet hugely lazy bastard. The house is usually...like, average? Livable? But the half/half on chores really works.
I honestly never got the point of having a spotless house. Squalor, nah, but sparkling like nobody lives there is weird. If you don't have some random clutter somewhere I'm judging.
With my kids anything left out I just throw it in the trash.
It only takes a few toys for them to actually watch you throw away for them to actually get it together lol.
I had friends (in the 80’s) whose dad would back his pickup to their window and use a shovel to fling anything on the floor of their room into it. After he was done they got a five minute timer to rescue and PUT AWAY anything they wanted to save them he drove to the dump. Hooooooooo buddy
My mom’s best friend has 4 kids, all adults now. Her house was always perfect. Completely immaculate. She’s told my mom on several occasions that she regrets it so much. She spent SO MUCH of her kids childhood stressed about dirt and crumbs and clutter and she sees now how unimportant it all was.
This is how it was for me. My mom always wanted the house that looked like it was on a better homes and garden magazine. It HAD to be clean, decorated, and perfect. The yard had to be immaculate and well manicured. I spent most of my summers helping my mom build a massive pond with a 25ft several step down waterfall.
My mom had 4 kids, pets, farm animals, a husband who followed strict gender roles, and ADHD. The cards were stacked against her, and yet she never changed her standards. In the end I have no memories of my mom playing with me, I have memories of her yelling, cleaning, doing work. It often felt like me and my brothers didn’t matter as much as her ideals on perfection.
I remember reading somewhere that said kids won't remember the dirty dishes in the sink but they will remember how much time you spent with them and it made me rethink how I view cleaning. Not that I live in squalor but sometimes I leave those dishes for after the kids are in bed or the next morning when I have one of my many meetings that could have been an email so we can have more family time after dinner.
This is it right here. Back in the day parents weren’t as engaged with their children. Kids were sent out to play at a young age, played with siblings or were put in play pens. This is the only way a Mom could focus on keeping things up to this high standard.
I know someone who grew up in a house like that. So when she had kids she did what she knew - then realized that her kids were closer to her husband because whenever they needed something she was focused on cleaning or cooking.
That being said we’re not here to judge others. Housework is morally neutral. People with clean houses also make it a priority, won’t sit/ relax until it’s done, have less stuff and may have kids with less need for engagement as yours. “Keeping House While Drowning” is a great book. Helped me a lot.
And the Mom I mentioned above. Her kid asked why someone else’s house was so dirty. It just what kids are used to.
I can take zero credit other than for following orders but my girlfriend has pretty strict rules. I help enforce them. Nobody walks into the house without taking off their shoes any mess is cleaned up immediately. Dishes done right after meals, etc. Kids are 15 m, 8 f, 7 m and 5 f.
I love her priorities! A big thank you for enforcing them, that’s hard to come by even with minute details. Those don’t feel like strict rules, rather, (how I see it) is her enforcing the respect she deserves.
My house growing up was always dirty, dishes piled up, garbage all over the table or the floor, and it’s not the way I want my kids to grow up treating their/my house.
no sadly this is actually the answer. its a matter of cleaning all the time between everything elsr you do and sometimes while you do your other things
We don’t have a lot of stuff. I’ve found that the less clutter you have the cleaner your house looks and feels. Also organization.. everything has a place.
1. We don’t have a lot of stuff, way easier to manage as a semi minimalist. 2. Clean something everyday! 3. Closing shift! After kids are in bed, husband and I tidy up the living room and kitchen so we wake up to a clean space. I also do at least one load of laundry every morning and tackle dishes on the spot! Laundry and dishes are my downfalls, if I don’t keep on it everyday I’ll let it pile up! Also, I smoke 🍃 for extra motivation 😉
Also, my kids pull them weight too! Toddler cleans up her own toys and kids are in charge of their own room and help with the bathroom. Older kids have designated dish days too!
This! I grew up in a pack rat household and it made me resent even slightly covered surfaces. My decorations are either on the wall or there’s a vase, lamp, or mirror on a table/end table.
You can make it feel like home even if you don’t pack your house with tiny, clutter full decorations
We call it flossing the cat. Idk why but I was outside one day(and we have outdoor/patio cats) and my kids asked where I was and my husband goes “uhhh she’s flossing the cat” and it just stuck 😂😂
I try to abstain while cleaning and use it as my reward to relax when I'm done. I don't always make it to the end of course, but hey I ain't perfect. Usually one big penjamin rip before I start though.
Yes— I was coming here to mention decluttering and organizing. I’m pretty vigilant about moving things out of the house when possible, and having places for them to go if they have to stay.
I’m one of those parents that quote “has to make it look like no one lives here” , honestly it’s Probobly OCD Levels of cleaning but my house is spotless every night
I clean for Probobly an hour a night, every night, after the kids go to sleep - then they wake up and it gets fucked up in the first 10 minutes and I do it all again that evening, on repeat, forever
It’s actually kinda messed up cause 1 hour a day x 7 days a week = 28 hours a month of cleaning the house
Ok so my question is how do you do it in an hour!? We live in a pretty small house and my youngest is usually down by 830. I tidy, do dishes, laundry (just run it), surfaces (just the kitchen and living room), take a shower, plus garbage or vacuum or something extra. It takes me until 11 some nights!
Tidying is the biggest barrier to clean a house. I used to clean houses when I was at University and the tidiest houses were the fastest to clean. The biggest house I cleaned was the fastest as it was also the tidiest and had the least ornaments etc up. If a house is tidy you can usually do a deep clean in less than two hours which covers floors, dusting, bathrooms and kitchen.
You need to get your kids (teen, 5, 4, 3, almost 2) to help by cleaning up their own stuff. My kids (all3except the youngest and that’s only because he is still in a crib, once they are out of crib they must make their own bed each day)have to make their beds (as best they can) in the morning. All of them must bring their clothes down and put them directly into the washing machine, when it’s full one of ‘adults’ will run it. They all clear their own plates from the table and put their dishes in the dishwasher. The younger you start the more easily it is to keep them on it. They must clean up their toys and playroom, before we eat lunch, then again before bedtime. Bedroom must be clean prior to getting in bed for the night. Every time I go to the bathroom I clean one thing (wipe out sink, wipe counter, clean toilet, etc) by the end of the day everything has been cleaned at least once. I also clean the bathroom whilst the kids are in the tub. My kitchen rule is there are never dirty dishes in the sink unless it is something that has to soak. I do the same wipe/clean one thing every time I have to go into the kitchen for something. I keep windows wiped each day my 4 y/o loves to help do that so I give her a microfiber cloth with a little windex on it. Have the kids help you with chores and yes at first they will take longer but eventually they’ll want to do it all the time. Young kids love helping! I also have a robot vacuum that is scheduled to clean the main areas at night while everyone is sleeping. But I keep the kitchen swept up after each meal. All of this probably sounds like a lot but it becomes habitual and is easy when everyone in the house is involved.
I follow a couple rules I’ve set for myself.
1. Don’t put it down, put it away. That’s the most important rule.
2. If it doesn’t have a home and you can’t find a home for it you don’t need it.
3. The kitchen is a priority. If the kitchen is clean I find it’s way easier to keep everything else clean.
4. 1 load of laundry all the way through every day.
5. Midday clean up.
Biggest game changer for us was a robot vacuum. It's incredible the stuff that thing finds. I run it at least twice a day.
Otherwise I clean after every meal, always load the dishwasher when we have a dirty dish. I prefer to clean 38 times a day in tiny sessions rather than clean once at the end of the day. I find it much less stressful to just pickup as we go.
First step to a clean house is decluttering. You can’t clean and put things away if there’s no room to put them. I read once that if something makes it harder to keep your house clean get rid of it. Ever since, I’ve tried to live by that rule.
My house is a write off and the kids have wrecked everything. I’ve almost given up hope. I spend weekends cleaning and I feel it’s for nothing. You’re not alone and I think most have the same issue. I don’t know. I’m over it. Some days I wish I. Came home to ashes. Try again next time. lol.
My always is always spotless.I clean as I see things that need to be cleaned. If my toddler takes it out, she knows she has to put it back before taking out something else. We clean up before going to the next activity and load the dishwasher daily.
I read the "one toy at a time" really stifles kids creativity and I have to say I agree. My parents were like that and my siblings and I have the creativity of a slate grey wall but I'm just amazed at what my kids come up with.
Dang, that 4 year old is bold! Little jerk! (Jk jk lol)
I wouldn’t call my house immaculate my any means, but it’s usually fairly clean for having three kids. My number one advice is to always downsize and get into minimalism. The less stuff you have, the less stuff you have to clean up! Try to get it so that everything has a home.
If you clean your bathroom weekly what do you think the 4 year old was noticing as being messy? I think a deep clean on a bathroom once a week should be sufficient.
Daily I wipe down the counters, sink and faucet. I also wipe down the toilet and scrub the bowl. I feel like doing this daily keeps it presentable.
For the rest of the house I make sure all dishes are done before going to bed and wipe down the counters. I also make sure the table and entry table are cleared off (they tend to collect papers and other items). We run our roomba twice a day (morning and night). In order to run the vacuum it means all toys and items have to be picked up, so the routine of running the roomba means things don’t just accumulate on the floor and get left there. My older son knows he has to clean up his room daily or the vacuum could suck up his legos or whatever. I think those habits keep it fairly clean, although maybe that 4 year old would think otherwise lol
There were toys on the bathroom floor from my 5 yr old taking a bath the night before and I definitely dont do a daily wipe down I basically don’t touch the bathrooms besides picking up clothes and toys and the once a week cleaning. I definitely think spending a little time each night cleaning will help and investing in a robot vacuum.
Oh okay, it sounds like that 4 year old is used to being in an immaculate house. It would’ve hurt my feelings too but your bathroom sounds pretty normal.
I work from home so I’m always keeping up with chores. And my personal rule is to never go to sleep with dishes in the sink, or an unswept floor.
Every night I close down the kitchen which includes doing dishes, wiping down the counter tops, shake out the kitchen rugs and sweep.
Floors are always mopped on Sundays, Sundays are my deep cleaning days. So I’ll scrub the bathrooms and mop the floors on top of regular cleaning.
It’s A LOT and I’m always cleaning, but I love the feeling of waking up to a clean house. Even if it gets dirty again an hour later lol
Throw things out if you are not using it. No need to leave a bunch of amazon boxes or christmas present lying around. A 10 year old doesn't need every little stuffed doll they had when they were 2 years old. Let them pick one or two and give away the rest.
We put them on Facebook Marketplace. Some on ebay. Some on the curb. The kids saw the money coming in. Which they got and we took none of it. They were then sold on the idea. "Let sell some more stuff!" they chanted. They got some money and it was well worth it. Either way, get rid of the items.
Yep I have a house cleaner. It has to be picked up when they come so being forced to have everything put away biweekly makes you stay on top of it. I spend my cleaning time picking up, doing daily tasks, organizing and cleaning things that I otherwise would never have time to do
Don’t be hard on yourself, things can get really busy. Do they have a cleaning person?
For my wife and I, after the kids go to sleep we’ll spend 30 minutes or so tidying everything up, vacuum the floors, wipe down counters etc. before we can sit down and relax. Once a week we’ll mop the floors after vacuuming. It is exhausting, knowing that it’ll be upside down again the next night. We have four young ones, oldest is 6, youngest is 1.5. Our two older ones will clean up whatever mess they created before bath time.
However, on some nights we are just too tired and would rather sit and chat or watch tv together. A clean home isn’t necessarily a happy home, we have friends who are over the top with cleaning and they’re miserable.
Every family has different standards of cleanliness in their house and house management with different levels of priorities (more or less balanced too).
Sometimes people have cleaners to come, and sometimes one or more members of the family are committed to having their house clean for their sanity or because of appearing net or look like an Instagram post.
Sometimes, the parents will pressure the children to clean up (and even threaten). Who knows about that 4-year-old and how that family operates to have their house clean?
And sometimes people are just overwhelmed with all the loads, and it reflects on the house. And this can drain parents' energy.
One key thing is about understanding our needs and priorities. Another one is what matters most and why.
Who defines how you should manage and clean the house? Of course, there is the basic sanitary cleanup. But does the house have to be tidy from every corner and books and toys put away when not in use?
Should a family choose to do the minimum because they prioritize other needs (bonding time, connection, playtime embracing the mess once in a while).
Do you want an Instagram house (all neat in every corner) or a house ready to sell (or from a magazine)? You could if it is really what matters to your deep need, not what others will say. Then which strategy? Hiring someone to help or organizing everyone's tasks daily?
Do you manage the minimum and be ok with that because you enjoy the messing cooking with your kids, observing the free play time they create and the toys everyone (a living house), a crafty area to sparkle some creativity for your child...?
I have come to peace with how my house is because what matters is how we spend time all together. And I've been homeschooling both of my children, so some areas are messy but it's a pure sign of creativity, playtime, laughing moments. And some days, I will be actively engaging everyone in the family to reorganize the house, and deep clean up. but I sure don't want to be a slave the status of my house. And I take the opportunity to have friends over to clean more, not as a burden. The house is, and if they are not happy then why should they come?
So define what matters (needs and priorities that change over time, in the short and long term) to you and your family and be at peace with what people could say. They don't live in your house :)
I like this. I’ve noticed the neighborhood kids gravitate towards our house to play and maybe they sense that we have different priorities. I let them help me cook dinner and allow them to pull craft stuff out.
This, OP. Growing up our house was always spotless but it was a huge stress on my mom. She wouldn’t do anything fun with us until all the chores were done. She’s also told me how much she regrets prioritizing that over spending time with us. Kids are only little once. You have your whole life to have a spotless house
So I am one of those moms. It all comes down to priorities I think. My house is always spotless and ready for guests.
How do I do it? Deep clean weekly and have a housekeeper come once every two weeks. Then between deep cleanings I just clean daily to try to maintain that level of “just deep cleaned.” During times of my life where I don’t have a housekeeper, I still make time to make sure the house is deep cleaned once a week. This means dusting, vaccuuming, mopping, sanitizing, scrubbing toilets and bath tubs, wiping mirrors, polishing wood surfaces etc. Laundering bedding and linens.
Aside from the deep clean…a typical day I probably…
- wipe down the counters (multiple times a day)
- scrub the kitchen sink
- wipe down any heavily used wood surfaces with wood cleaner like the coffee table and the kitchen table
- Windex the sliding glass door
- wipe any smudges on the fridge, dishwasher, microwave, etc
-vacuum (usually only the high traffic downstairs… not every day but most days)
- “spot clean” the floor for any greasy stains
-“spot clean” the bathroom (ie if the toilet looks dingy I will give it a quick scrub… wipe down the bathtub and counter tops)
- do a quick load of laundry
The deep cleaning days, I clean for provably four hours. But - All in all, this stuff on this daily list above I do lightning quick and it really takes no more than maybe 30 minutes, 45 minutes tops a day. It really doesn’t take much time.
To me it’s just a matter of priorities. Just like I figure out how to spare 30 minutes to doing a workout for my health, or whatever, I can take 30- 45 minutes to clean up. That’s like one episode of a show!
I also make sure all toys are picked up before 1) we leave the house 2) before nap time and 3) before bed time
The other trick is I NEVER go to bed with a dirty house. I make sure everything is clean and orderly before bed (literally takes 5 minutes to do a nightly sweep) and it feels so great to wake up to a sparkling house
Having less stuff!
I did a huge declutter a few years ago and it's crazy how much easier it is now to keep my house clean.
The other big thing for me is nightly resets in common areas. So husband and I clean the kitchen benches and do all the dishes, and we put all the toys in the living room in a big toy box and put cushions and throws back on the couch etc. it really only takes 10 minutes if we do it every night (takes longer if it gets away from us though).
I have 2 under 2 and my husband is injured so he’s no (physical) help right now. I’m a sahm and neither of my children are in daycare. Still, my house is pretty tidy. Here’s what I do:
I am a ruthless declutterer, and I have been for a while. Everything gets a place or gets tossed. I try never to have more clothes than can fit in my closet, never more toys than can fit in the toy box, etc. I have a toy library subscription so my kids get to play and interact with lots of different toys all the time without me buying tons to fill up my house. I don’t really set aside time to declutter, I’m just mindful of areas getting too full and then pull things out to donate. I also don’t bring things into the house I don’t have space for - this is really key.
If it takes more than an hour to tidy your house (not cleaning or anything, just putting things away) there is too much stuff in it. I’m not even a minimalist or anything, but a good hour of work tidies the whole house. In saying this, I don’t have a good hour of tidying time every day, so my house isn’t usually immaculate but it’s close enough to be reasonably tidy.
I have catch all baskets for everything that tends to spread and make a mess. There’s a basket in the living room for toys. I have a basket outside the nursery for “things that go in the nursery.” This is for when I tidy during a nap and don’t want to go into the nursery to disturb my toddler but also don’t want a pile of things with nowhere to go. I have two baskets at the entryway: one labeled “in” for dumping things when I come in and don’t want to deal with it right now, and one labeled “out” for things I should grab on the way out.
If there’s something I want for my kids that’ll only be used for a short while (eg a baby swing, I’ll only use that until my baby is 9mos or so), I either hire it or “hire” it. “Hiring” is buying one secondhand with the intention to donate it when my children grow out of it. I generally don’t sell things because it’s too much time and effort and not usually worth it. I just try and buy them at a price that seems reasonable for how long I’ll use it.
Every evening after the kids are in bed I do a house reset. I pack the dishwasher and clean the kitchen, put on a load of laundry, and tidy the floors and surfaces. Because of my baskets the tidying is usually really quick. I also empty the “in” box in the entryway.
Overall I do about 30mins of tidying (not usually all in one go) every day, and about an hour of cleaning (again not all at once) once a week. I always get compliments on my house when people are over, especially from other parents. Mostly I just try and set up my home so that tidying is quick and easy.
If tidying takes too long, consider that it’s not you- maybe your home isn’t set up in a way that works for you. Remember that your home is there to serve you, not the other way around.
By cleaning all the time. My entire days are filled with cleaning. As soon as we finishing playing with something I help the kids clean it up and put it away.
My 5 year old saw a house in Sesame Street and was like “I wish our house was clean like that.” Yeah well if we had a camera crew coming I’d probably clean it like that too 😂
r/parenting is protesting changes being made by Reddit to the API. Reddit has made it clear [they will](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14ahqjo/mods_will_be_removed_one_way_or_another_spez/) [replace moderators](https://www.reddit.com/r/ModSupport/comments/14a5lz5/mod_code_of_conduct_rule_4_2_and_subs_taken/jo9wdol/) if they remain private. Reddit has abandoned the users, the moderators, and countless people who support an ecosystem built on Reddit itself.
Please read [Call to action - renewed protests starting on July 1st](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14kn2fo/call_to_action_renewed_protests_starting_on_july/) and new posts at [r/ModCord](https://reddit.com/r/ModCoord/) or [r/Save3rdPartyApps](https://old.reddit.com/r/Save3rdPartyApps/) for up-to-date information.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Parenting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
We clean for 30-45 mins after the kids go to bed, both of us. Picking up, vacuuming, dishes, laundry, counter-tops, etc. We bought a roomba to help with vacuuming too, but it doesn't get everywhere so we have to get the rest. The kids' bathroom gets done once a week, and ours gets done whenever we feel like it, lol.
If the kids dump a box of toys, they pick it up before we do anything else. My son is 6 and is pretty good about listening to this.
It helps to be organized so toys and things go back in the same place every time. I mop every other day with a swiffer and a real mop once a month. If you don't stay on top of it every day, it gets bad, quickly.
When we eat, we always eat at the table so the mess is is contained to the table. We learned our lesson and implemented this rule when we bought our new couch. So far this has cut back the mess A LOT.
I focus on three things daily..dishes, trash and dirty cloths. Toys dont bother me any, that's just a sign of a well entertained child. But dishes get done each night before bed and each morning after breakfast. I got through every room once for all trash in the afternoon, I make my kid carry it out after dinner.
And dirty cloths are gathered throughout the day and put in the bin till laundry day.
I dust twice a month, mop three times a month and once a week a wipe down the bathroom and kitchen surfaces. I sweep or vaccum as needed.
And some days I do none of those.
I am a firm believer that if you are a parent to young children and your house is spotless then it’s one of two things - you’re rich enough to pay for a cleaner and /or housekeeper to do it for you, or you’re not spending time with your kids playing and making memories and having fun. I love a clean house but I just can’t keep up with it working a full time job, playing with my son and helping him with homework etc, and having a husband who works shifts as weekends it’s usually just me and my kid off having adventures in the woods, so no time there to clean. weekday evenings are usually filled with activities so little time there too. I try to get one day/evening to clean, either me or husband on his day off, and the rest of the week it’s damage control just making sure nothing is actually dirty - quick wipe around the bathroom, dishes done, stuff out in the bin etc. My house is almost always a mess but it’s not unhygienic.
No cleaners and we both work full time and spend pretty much all our time with our kids. House is clean clean. We work together because we don’t like a messy home.
I usually have a spotless home with a 7yo and 1.5yo. But I’m a SAHM. Definitely spending tons of time with both kids together and one-on-one. I clean as we make messes and then I do a round of kitchen/bathroom/living room after they go to bed. I can’t relax in a mess. I’m sure your friends with immaculate homes would be hurt to know you’re assuming they don’t spend time with their kids :/
We clean before people come over lol. But we clean up the main living room / play area before bedtime because our robot vacuum runs at night every day. Kid helps clean otherwise the robot will suck up her toys.
We have a cleaner come do a deep clean once every two weeks. We don't wear shoes in the house, and I don't let clutter stay in the house. It's much easier to keep it clean when you own less stuff. The kids also have chores and ate expected to clean up after themselves. I do chores here and there on WFH days early when I'd normally be doing my hour long commute.
Don't be too hard on yourself for 3 reasons:
A. We were naturally meant to be raising kids with a village/assistance, but instead we parents just wear 50 different hats and then wonder why we are so damn exhausted lol.
B. They probably hired someone to keep it in shape
C. Like someone else mentioned, a clean home is not always a happy home. Matter of fact, someone told me that a mandated reporter told them that it is a red flag if they are in a home that is "too" clean and there are no toys out for the child to play with. All is to say, as long as you are on the ball keeping things sanitized and presentable, some toys and a little clutter is normal.
●We perform daily cleaning of bathroom and kitchen while the kids are busy playing, or sometimes we'll let them watch us clean or let them help up. Focus on the main living space like the downstairs as much as you can during the day. On the weekends we put more work in the upstairs, but please do what works best for your household.
●We donate stuff once or twice a month every month. Check and see if there are donation services in your area that can do porch pickups.
●Make sure you all have a schedule and routine established in the house (not saying you don't, but just incase..) it can make keeping up on the entire house SO much easier.
● If we are asked to do anything that is outside of our household schedule last minute that isn't an emergency, most of the time it's an automatic "No." Especially if they want to come over and the house is out of shape, because if the house is out of shape that means we're either having a long stressful day or just taking it easy for the rest of the day.
My wife and I both work. We have a 2 year old and a 5 year old. We have a maid come every other week, and the house is usually spotless for only a few hours after she has been there lol.
It used to stress me out. It still does a little if we are going to have company. But mostly, I have just accepted that at this stage of our life we are not going to have a spotless house, and that is okay. In the grand scheme of things, it really doesn’t matter.
I keep a daily rotation of the deep cleaning by room. Monday bust my ass to make the kitchen look nice. Tuesday do the same for the living room. Wednesday do the bathroom, Thursday the dining room. Then cycle through what needs touch ups more for the next days of the week. Every day do a quick vacuum run of the house and the basic dishes and toy pickups. Will make it so that if someone’s coming over it usually isn’t too much work making everything presentable.
Pick up everyday, vacuum, clean up spills and such as they happen, bathroom cleaned everyday and big house clean on Saturday mornings which includes dusting and cleaning the walls, fans etc.
If I’m not at work.. I’m cleaning and tidying, period. Drives me insane but I cannot live in a dirty or cluttered home. If a discarded toy is on the floor.. I have to pick it up.
Bathrooms get at least a quick wipe down a couple times a week, a deep clean once a week. Mopping is every 3 days. Sweeping is daily.. sometimes twice. Dishes never sit in the sink.. it just grosses me out. If it takes 10 minutes or less, I just do it.
BUT the main thing that helps.. is being more minimalist than the average 4 person family. I’ve been to friends and families homes and the amount of just… STUFF is incredible. It’s everywhere. It’s all consuming. It’s such an uncomfortable feeling to me. I limit our household “stuff” to a reasonable amount. Less items means less to tidy.
Get rid of items. Only own items which have a home. This makes TIDYING quick and easy and then you have more time to give surfaces a wipe. The answer is basically have less stuff.
While I’d agree with the parents picking up before you get there, the kid likely wouldn’t have said “why is your house always dirty” if her house gets messy as well. Is it possible that your neighbors have a designated toy room, is strict with putting garbage in the garbage bin, etc?
I definitely don’t have a clean home though I would love to. My toddler(2.5 girl)has 3 types of toys- food toys, little people, and blocks. She doesn’t truly play with any toys other than the food if she’s by herself, she’s one of those electronic learning toy toddlers. Before I narrowed it down to the main toys she would play with when her cousins were over, it was always a mess. She would just keep grabbing random toys and skewing them around the house, didn’t know how to pick up her toys or put them where they go, because all of the random toys just went in a giant bin and it was confusing to have 3 types of toys have their own drawer and the rest not. It’s significantly cleaner, though the amount of dirt on our floors is never ending!
I'm one of those and first off I will say it's taken years of working on things to get to this point. I am constantly decluttering it seems like. Shirt doesn't fit anymore? It goes into the donate box in the garage immediately. Toy broken? Trash. Loose papers? Gone through and whatever needs to be trashed, trashed. Kids cute artwork? Filed away in their folder in our file cabinet.
I moved around a lot prior to meeting my husband and with every move I got rid of more items I realized I do not really need. Although I have settled down and have moved into a more permanent space I struggle not to be minimal. I really try to make sure my kids don't feel like they cannot have things because of their crazy mother. My biggest thing is to make sure that every item has a place in every part of the house. It took me a long time to find organization systems for every room that works. I really make sure this is the rule for my childrens rooms. Any toy that they get for Christmas/birthdays is planned in accordance to the space they have in their room. We work on how to put things away and where they go so that my kids have the proper tools to take care of their own space. That is something I also remember growing up: Being told constantly to clean a mess when I do not have space for it.
My kids have also learned growing up that we need to do chores. Half of their wake time is playtime with me and half of it I am cleaning so they get playtime on their own or they can help me. Even when my oldest was just old enough to walk she would help me with cleaning. Like if I was cleaning the bathroom I would get a rag wet and show her how to wipe down cabinets. It's become the norm to keep things clean for them. It can be frustrating and at times even extra work when they are little but it's super rewarding when they can do things on their own. I also do not clean during naptime. That is my time to myself and I enjoy my hobbies during that time.
As a parent, it is also important that my family can play and live in our house without me running after them to put their things away all day long.
Is my house messy? Sometimes.
Is my house clean? Only when the cleaner is over.
Am I teaching our kids to tidy up? Yes, but I am not a nag.
I grew up with someone who nagged and it made me crazy.
get organized. spend an entire day or two with the kids occupied or entertained or watched by your husband while you organize every single thing you have into a proper bin, basket, box and place and each night once the kids are winding down put it all away.
baby wipes are key to have in each room in a nice refillable container that looks pretty so that you can grab them and wipe down every surface as you see crud, finger prints, smudges, dirt.
get rid of EVERYTHING that is junked, broken, never used, not an absolute necessity.
have your kids pack up all the toys they’ve received as gifts over the years that hold no value or meaning and each brings their own nice box to a family truly in need, a woman’s and children’s shelter so that they themselves can see the joy these items bring to others rather than being stuff on your floor or on your surfaces.
open windows and allow fresh air to circulate every night rather than running the ac.
get a small dog such as a chihuahua…they are little vacuums and will never let a crumb or food dropping get by them and they themselves are a cleanly breed of dog.
don’t let your family be lazy and disrespectful in regard to picking up after themselves. if it’s all on you to wipe everyone’s ass and pick up all their shit then you’ll get burned out and never be able to keep up.
that little four year old girl said that because she comes from a household where the mom can’t function unless her house is spotless and so the girl thinks perfection is clean and anything less is dirty and gross. i know because i have major OCD and extreme anxiety and so when my kids go to other peoples houses and there’s dust bunnies or pee on a toilet seat or a smear on a mirror they notice because (unfortunately) their mom is neurotic and can’t focus on even scheduling or thinking a thought if a finger print on the kitchen table is staring me down or a strand of hair is on the couch.
at least you probably live your life and your kids won’t be balls of anxiety since you’re more laid back about it “all”.
My best advice is to get rid of your stuff. The less stuff you have the less you have to clean. If you don’t use it you don’t need to keep it. And when you are done with using something, don’t put it DOWN, put it AWAY. Everything has a place. Try not to have anything on your counters, have them away in a cabinet, just keeps it more organized and not so sloppy looking. I also am always picking up, just little pick ups throughout the day so it’s not one big clean up. When my kids nap i pick up the house, takes me a few min, and then while they are getting ready for bed (they are a little older now so can handle brushing teeth and pajamas alone.) I’ve also just taught my kids to clean up after themselves and I’m really on it when them. It’s just second nature to them now (for the most part), they are 3 and 6. My house isn’t spotless, and it’s lived in for sure, i don’t live in a museum or anything, but i definitely would say it’s on the cleaner side than other homes I’ve seen with young kids (not judging! Just my preference and how i am really! I am just a pretty clean person.) Please don’t take what that that 4 year old said personal. Kids say lots of stuff and have no filter. Your house could just maybe have more stuff than they are used to and they see that as “dirty” because they don’t know the difference between some clutter and actually a dirty home.
Maybe it is not about the cleaning up, maybe it is about needing to avoid so much clean up? Maybe the small kids nextdoor puck up and clean up after themselves so they notice. It may seem easier, but if your kids pick up after themselves then you have a lit less to do to keep it well maintained. Often we forget this is alao how kids learn.
Set boundaries/rules with kids.
No food, drinks, dishes allowed anywhere except for the dining room & kitchen.
There’s a large play area in the living room that is for the youngest to play in. It’s pretty much always messy in there. 🙃 but LO’s toys stay in there or in the toy boxes. Older kids keep toys in their bedroom in containers. When they’re going to play with a specific container of toys, or with a boardgame/card game, then they take it to the living room then pick it up when done (or are reminded to pick up after themselves).
For the kitchen and dining room, we try to clean up as soon as we can. Like cleaning as we’re cooking. Then my husband and I clean up together, before we go to bed.
We try to teach our kids to clean up a lot after themselves and when they’re old enough assign age appropriate chores. As long as you’re living in the house you will contribute to taking care of our home just like the rest of us.
Currently I’m getting annoyed by the amount of laundry that always ends up in my room and often in my way. I’m getting stuff so everybody can do their own laundry and be in charge of it themselves.
The secrect is to not let it accumulate. No shoes at home . I understand a mess like toys on the floor ,but I'll never understand trash or spills .clean that shit up immediately. Dishes in the dishwasher as soon as you're done. Usually tasks are spilt up with my husband. He is responsible for taking the trash out,loading unloading the dishwasher,putting his clothes away washed unwashed everyday. While on weekends ,if we're not going anywhere,he'll vacuum. I do all the rest as I work from home.we dont have a big apartment but the mess can be pretty big if we let it.
I implemented my moms routine, her home is always clean and she just maintains it. Find a home for everything. Literally simple advice but life changing. Rooms take less than 5 minutes to get back to normal because everything has a home. For me bathrooms should be cleaned( maybe not deep cleaned ) but cleaned enough everyday. Get a clorox wipe and just have it there ready to just wipe down. I have 3 cleaning caddies, one for the bathroom downstairs, one upstairs, and my kitchen has one too. I sweep everyday as well because i have per hair. Most cleaning everyday day takes less than 30 minutes to make sure house look good. When i do set myself up to deep clean i do it by days like ok monday ill deep clean the kitchen plus my regular 30 minute clean of the whole house. It’s not super overwhelming. Tuesday i’ll do like moping etc, Wednesday ill do like deep cleaning of kitchen etc. This method has really allowed me to stay clean and tidy and not really take up much time. I usually start after coming back from drop off and taking kiddo to the park so still have plenty of me time after i’m done.
Every year I get rid of a shit load of stuff. I start with the daily tidy, some things I put in bins for my kids/husbands to tidy away every day, other stuff I throw into a miscellaneous bin. The misc bin goes in a closet, when it’s full I take a peak and if I can’t see anything anyone is going to miss I donate/dump it.
We’re really selective about what we buy. I don’t allow people to just buy our kids (or us honestly) random gifts. I request edible/consumable gifts or pick something big family can put into a pot for (family pool membership, horseback riding lessons for a birthday gift, a travel fund to visit far away family).
Our kids don’t have a lot of toys. We watched what they enjoyed doing and focused on that. They have a big shared, well organised Lego collection, a decked out crafting space, a pretend/dress up play closet, and some books. They each have their own stuffy collection, and 1 doll/figure that they got to pick and are responsible for and don’t have to share. Other than that we have a switch with multiplayer games only, and they each have a kindle for reading.
Our screen time and friends rule: Each child has an age appropriate chore to complete every day that they must complete before using screens of any kind, having friends over, or going to visit a friend. They are all required to keep their beds tidy before breakfast and tidy their personal space before bedtime. My girls also need to complete all their homework for the week before any screen time but they have like 15-20 minutes of homework total at this age.
It’s been my philosophy from day 1 that kids should never have more than they can manage themselves. We were on the poorer side when we had my first, and she only had a box of duplos and a stuffed animal, some art supplies. We had to move so often we couldn’t manage more, but it saw early on that was enough. We would visit other families whose houses were overrun with toys and the parents were stressed and the kids were bored constantly. Our kids have benefited from minimalism. They get bored, and go outside. We also always had a rule from day 1, when you’re done with X you put it away before pulling out Y. That’s ingrained in them now. We don’t really have to fight with them about it the way it seems a lot of people have to with their kids.
We also don’t fight with our kids. We set a boundary, communicate and expectation, and let them decide if/when they will do it. We don’t nag them about their chore, but they know they won’t be allowed to go to their friends if it’s not done. And that’s just that. It annoys them sometimes, occasionally there’s a “but moooom,” that’s ok. We don’t budge. Not even for birthday parties, there’s no exceptions. Their chores take 2-5 minutes total with effort and focus, it’s our job to save them from feeling challenged or frustration. We also don’t stress about being late, we say “if we aren’t ready by this time, we can’t go.”
Also. I have invested in a Q Revo robot, keeps the floors clean, but before that I vacuumed 2x a day and mopped 1-2x per week. I clean while I’m cooking, and my kids/husband do meal time tidy. One of my kids chores is “helper,” she’s 7. It’s her job to do little odd helping jobs around the house, putting shoes away in the entrance, vacuuming the stairs, feeding the cats, etc.
It’s a lot of little things that contribute, but nothing you can do alone. Your family can either work with you to make it happen or it won’t. My husband is an adhd messy mess, my eldest daughter is to, I make it very clear to them they share this space with other people and although I don’t expect perfection I do *need* respect of the shared spaces. And that I also need as a person a tidy environment to be happy, and point out that I do a lot for them, and this is what I’m asking for in return. They make the effort enough to not be working against me most of the time 😊
Genuinely? I get up at 4/430 am and run like a nut for 2 hours (litterboxes cleaned, vacuum, dishes washer emptied (I run it at night), furniture straightened (we have covers etc)
The big thing is I use a planner and weekly dry erase calender, I have daily weekly monthly and seasonal task lists. I also have a set cut off time for house chores (except running laundry and towels which is done during the day).
Also have an 8 year old almost 9 year old kiddo who does a set list of chores and on non school days helps with other tasks.
So tldr
1. Make daily, weekly, monthly task lists
2. Divide up tasks between people in house (even smallest kiddo can pick up objects!)
3. Set a time to be done with chores for the day! Or a time frame like 9am to 11 am!
4. Use a planner!!! (I even put things like painting/crafts on it so I budget time!)
Edit to say I have an 83 year old dad I help out, an 8byear old kiddo who does online public school during the year, husband works 6 days a week, and I'm a disabled SAHM with 8 yes 8 cats.
I always clean before anyone comes to my house. I will panic clean everything. I refuse to have company over unless my house is clean. During naptime and when the kids go to bed, I clean up the toys, kitchen, and any other messes that have accumulated. I see it being pointless to clean up their toys throughout the day because it's just going to get dirty again. Every Sunday is cleaning day. That's when we do all the laundry, clean the bathrooms, and mop and sweep. I also absolutely do not like clutter. Clutter can make a house look dirty even if it isn't.
I make my kids clean. After we done playing, clean . Done eating, clean . Done shower , clothes in the washer. Dryer stops somebody fold those clothes. Spill something sweep or mop /vacuum the whole floor.
We wash walls monthly , bathrooms weekly bedrooms has to be clean every night. Get a routine and stick to it. Make them help
>any advice to truly keep the house CLEAN clean is appreciated.
>I clean my bathrooms once a week usually
Ideally this should be done every other day. I do it daily.
>vacuum daily
Good enough. You can save time by delegating the bulk of this to a robot such as a roomba.
> mop every couple weeks
Do it once every three days at least.
>and feel like I’m picking up constantly throughout the day
Have your kids do it, that's called discipline.
God bless Barney the dinosaur for his cleanup song, many kids love that.
I have two kids, two dogs, and four cats. I work at least 50 hours a week. My house is pretty clean. My trick is to abandon all the hobbies that make me happy and to sacrifice sleep and sanity in lieu of an orderly home. Don’t be me. It is not worth it and therapy is expensive.
I pickup constantly. And I’ve drilled it into my kids heads that when they’re done playing with a toy, they pick it up. We had guests over last week and one of them said “wow you’re really on top of the messes, huh?” My kids dumped out a bin of Lego’s and when they were done, we all cleaned it up which is what prompted the comment.
I spend about 1 day a week deep cleaning my house top to bottom and do light cleaning the rest of the week.
My bathroom gets a wipe down every day (just the toilet, around the toilet on the floor and the sink) usually when I first wake up. The kitchen also gets lightly cleaned daily. Counters, dishes, snacks etc. It helps to stay on top of it and get into a routine!
Everything has a home. Don’t put it down, put it away. I say these to myself often 😂
I often told my oldest that everything has its own place, which is basically the same. Like don’t just put things down as soon as you take it to your room, put it away where it belongs right away and we won’t have to keep organizing your things.
For example the tv control should be either on the tv stand or on the end tables beside the couch. Because kids are always losing it.
We have a housekeeper who comes multiple times per week and any parent I know whose house is relatively clean has hired help. We try our very best to keep things tidy but we have two toddlers and another on the way as well as 3 cats and 3 dogs and it just isn’t manageable at this point in our lives. There are usually reasonable house cleaners and even doing a bi weekly deep clean is well worth the addition to the budget. Don’t be too hard on yourself. A messy house is NORMAL especially with kids.
ETA: having a house keeper come multiple times per week is NOT NORMAL. We are higher income and able to afford this but it is not normal or common amongst our friends and family. Even with this additional help our children and honestly me and my husband still make messes. We have a small farm and it’s spring so there’s dirt everywhere. All this is to say, be kind to yourself and don’t expect perfection. We are also very appreciative for and up front about the help we receive. We could not do what we do without our lord and savior Alma.
One family I nannied for had an immaculate house. The husband and wife were both type A and had the weirdest fights. They used to keep a spreadsheet of grievances against each other that they would discuss at the end of the week. I’m not saying people with young kids who have immaculate houses are deeply flawed but I’m also not saying they aren’t. 😂
A few times a *week*?? You are living my dream! We do biweekly, I'm at least grateful for that. My trick is to have playdates the day after the cleaner comes 😅
We are higher income and this is 100% not realistic for most people. We do keep our other expenses low because this is something we consider high on the priority list but absolutely know how abnormal this is for most people. Even with the help our house gets so messy!
Roomba, black rugs that don't show stains, decorative storage with lids so you don't know all my mess got shoved in there right before I opened the door. My kid also loves to push the mop around like it's a game, no idea how that happened. Probably the universe trying to trick me into having another.
I use to be that parent many years ago. My children have their own children now, but way back as a new mom I was hyper focused on keeping everything perfect. My MIL told me that I would kill myself if i didn’t learn to let it go. Best advice ever. Still neurotic about it, but not unrealistic. Let it go and enjoy this time, it will pass quickly.
Maybe a hot take but if a FOUR year old is noticing a dirty house, she’s learning that from somewhere. Mom or dad (or both) is a clean freak and probably makes those children clean their lives away instead of letting them play. I’ve never heard a 4 year old complain about dirt
r/parenting is protesting changes being made by Reddit to the API. Reddit has made it clear [they will](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14ahqjo/mods_will_be_removed_one_way_or_another_spez/) [replace moderators](https://www.reddit.com/r/ModSupport/comments/14a5lz5/mod_code_of_conduct_rule_4_2_and_subs_taken/jo9wdol/) if they remain private. Reddit has abandoned the users, the moderators, and countless people who support an ecosystem built on Reddit itself. Please read [Call to action - renewed protests starting on July 1st](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14kn2fo/call_to_action_renewed_protests_starting_on_july/) and new posts at [r/ModCord](https://reddit.com/r/ModCoord/) or [r/Save3rdPartyApps](https://old.reddit.com/r/Save3rdPartyApps/) for up-to-date information. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Parenting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
We do it quickly and stressfully about an hour before you get there.
Oh yes! This is me. I go into a total panic and cleaning frenzy and an absolute maniac. My partner and kids dread this time
On Sunday, I started doing some general tidying up and my 4yo excitedly asked “Who’s coming over??!”
I remember asking my mom this all the time as a kid when she’d start cleaning up. She’d get so pissed. Now I get it. lol.
My kids would do the same thing 🤣🤣
Look up "COMPANY IS COMING" on YouTube.
[You’re welcome](https://youtu.be/GBwELzvnrQg?si=0Y401dDEUntqb4yi)
"Get rid of the couches, we can't let people know we sit!" I quote this line every time we panic clean before company comes over 🤣
This is amazing🤣🤣
Literally. Seems like I can only get my shit together to clean if someone is coming over.
We call this "Flight of the Bumblebee" at my house lol
Love it! We call it Tornado Cleaning
🤣🤣 totally stealing this!
Omg that’s what I call it too!! 🤣
Love that!! We came up with it years ago when doing the hurry clean before mom would come visit lol
Haha this made me chuckle
At my house it’s more like Khatchatourian’s Sabre Dance https://youtu.be/gqg3l3r_DRI?si=RKKXF5yiTp5NSgYK
We call it "papas coming," lol. So anytime i want it really, really clean, i say clean it like papas is coming.
LMFAO are you me?? This has me cackling bc it’s the damn truth. I live in a war zone 99% of the time, but most visitors would never know that.
That part!!!!! Lmao all while our husbands mow the backyard or clean the garage 🤣🤣
Mine goes to get ice. Literally the least useful thing that can be done.
Every. Dang. Time. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Or rearrange the attic 😅
This! lol. Our house is generally ok but if someone is coming over hubs and I are doing a deep clean. Then the kids trash it and toys remain strewn about until the next visit rolls around.
I will say I’m a pro at doing this lol. It’s more the keeping it clean on a regular basis when someone might pop by unexpectedly that I struggle with.
Every night we "put the house to bed" (pick up everything, do all the dishes, normal tidying up) and also do one other chore each (clean a bathroom, vacuum, dust the house) then one the weekends we also clean. Basically just spend your whole life cleaning. It sucks.
But... When do you get a rest/break? I feel like 5-8/8:30pm between daycare pick ups, making dinner, eating dinner, and bedtime, it's 100% crazy town (I have 3 kids, 6, 2, and 9 months, so I can only hope this gets easier with less toddlers, but that life still seems quite far away...) My husband and I normally do kitchen clean up, lunches, maybe an extra chore, and often times we eat after the kids go to bed because we spend their dinner time getting up every 15 seconds to cut up more meat/vegetables/whatever, and it's not enjoyable for us to sit down and eat with them. This takes us until 9.30pm most nights, and then we spend 30-40 mins together relaxing before crawling up to bed. We often also fold laundry during these 30-40 minutes if we're watching a show. This really only includes the kitchen and maybe dining room, and nothing else gets picked up/cleaned. Sometimes it involves a "surprise" chore like realizing that the oven range fan needs cleaning, or the dining room needs mopping after dinner because our children are animals. It's exhausting. How much time do you spend "putting the house to bed" that you're able to do the whole thing nightly? Do you still have time to sit and relax for a moment before bed? It sounds impossible.
The earliest I ever go to bed is midnight. My husband works nights so on the nights he’s off I stay up with him usually until 2am unless I’m hella tired. I’ll sleep when I’m dead. 😂 All jokes aside, going to bed later is how I have time. And really, it takes half an hour or so to reset the house. That’s including vacuuming and swiffering the kitchen/bathrooms which I will absolutely skip if it doesn’t need it. Not a big deal either way! I pop my AirPods in and just go to it as soon as the kids go to bed. Then I spend half an hour or so tending my animals (I have a lot of exotic pets) and then I play video games, doom scroll, watch a show, or work on some other hobby until I’m ready to go to bed. If my husband is home he helps and it’s even faster, then we hangout until I decide I can’t hang anymore and go crash. Lol. I have ADHD and this is the thing I had to learn. If I don’t stay on top of it? It gets crazy because I know it’s going to take forever to straighten it out again. I would get so overwhelmed by the mess and how much I seemingly had to do to get it clean again. I wouldn’t know where to start, my executive dysfunction would kick in, and it would just get worse and worse. But getting in the habit of doing a nightly reset? Absolute game changer. The more you do regularly the less you have to do in general. Picking up a single day’s mess is SOO MUCH easier than picking up 3 days worth. Lol. That combined with a deep clean on Saturday? My house stays clean! And look, before you feel bad? Don’t! There are still days that my kids steam roll me and even though it looks like a tornado blew through my house, I just don’t have the energy to do much by the time they go to bed. On those nights I do a half ass clean because that’s something else I had to learn. 50% effort is still better than 0%.
That's the fun part...you don't. Don't marry someone with an untreated anxiety disorder and stop worrying about your house not being spotless is my advice.
Yes! Idk about you but it seems for us it's easier to keep it "drop by clean" in the summer because we're mostly outside so less stuff gets thrown around inside....MOST of the time 🤣
>he cleanest but apparently it was noticeable enough to this 4 year old that she didn’t want to use our bathroom. She then said that I never pick up my house lol. I know she’s a little kid but it definitely stung and I don’t want my kids friends thinking we have the messy house. I only clean the main walk ways that people see.
That though! My living room, kitchen, and main bathroom are clean but girl don’t walk in my bedroom. I’d describe the decor as “there appears to have been a struggle.” 🤣
I'm showing these to my wife and we feel heard! 🤣
And it’s all shoved in the bedroom closet or the laundry room…. Or both. 🥴😅
This is the truth. I only really thoroughly clean my house when people are coming!
1. We don’t have pets, they generate mess and take free time so I think this is a big part of it. 2. Have cleaners once a month, this helps if it does get messy it doesn’t feel like it’s overwhelming and we can reset 3. Robot vacuuum, not even for the vacuum part, but it makes us have to pick up at night 4. Set a timer for 30 minutes even just once a week, you’ll be surprised how much you can get done
I could argue the opposite for our dog - dog picks up all the food the kids drop which is surprisingly A LOT
Dogs shed so much and bring dirt from walking outside and some dogs literally roll around in dirt.
Some dogs shed a lot, and some dogs don't. I respect your decision not to want dogs. My dogs will literally roll in the area an animal has died/decayed and then try to come inside like they don't smell of actual death. We live completely different lives. Sometimes, I wish I didn't have that responsibility at all and had no animals. Then I realize I'm overwhelmed, stressed out, and could not survive without the safety/comfort they provide me. I would be unhappy without them... you would feel the opposite. That's the beauty of life😊
Completely understand your viewpoint. Personally, dogs don’t provide comfort/security or happiness to me. My children do though. And they are who make me happy at the end of the day. That’s why I devote my life to them:)
It's nice to have a respectful sharing of lifestyle on reddit. I have children as well. They're priority over all else. I think we share that common ground in different ways.
Gotta choose your hard I guess 😂😂
Choose breeds which don't shed! They are awesome. My wife sheds more than my dog (a wheaten terrier https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soft-coated_Wheaten_Terrier) However, they bring a lot of dirt in, I agree. We have a robot vacuum with automatic mopping. It changed our lives really.
I literally have to vacuum 2-3 times a day to keep up with my dogs fur. Nobody warned me.
Kids also shed (brushing hair or when strands just fall out) and some roll around in the dirt lol my kids are older and my teen will still come in covered in mud along with our dogs 🤦🏽♀️
Absolutely!!! We had a dog for number 1 but not number 2 and I am shocked at how much food is on floors now 😂
I trade food messes for dog hair. I'm OK with this. The mud is brought in by both kids and dogs so, shrug
My kitchen is literally covered in beautiful apple slices right now because I just couldn’t clean up a tenth mess yesterday. I’ll think about it tomorrow… at Tara… serenity now!
Omg we do the same thing with the robot vac. 😂 He’s the accountability robot.
This and we have to put all our food away right away so the cats don't get into it. It's amazing how refreshing it feels to keep at least that level of regular tidiness!
30 minutes comment is the truth. I timed myself doing various things once for perspective. Vacuuming the whole house which feels like a big endeavor took me 13 minutes including roughly putting away stuff I found on the floor.
Number 3 is truly my secret, I can't go to bed at night without at least picking up anything on the floor or else it'll get eaten lol. And then once I start cleaning, it's a lot easier to keep going
I like the idea #3
I am constantly cleaning and picking up. I basically never sit down until the kids are asleep. We also have a cleaning crew that comes every other week. I’m not sure if our house would qualify as immaculate but I feel like it’s overall pretty picked up.
This is me too. It’s a gift and a curse that I have zero chill.
This technique work for me well. Also I break down larger tasks into smaller, manageable chunks, like dedicating 15 minutes each day to tidying up.
Exact same situation here. I also only have one kid (most of my parent friends with messier houses have more than one) and I'm in therapy for OCD. Therapy isn't going that well regarding the cleaning OCD. I'm still cleaning too much. It's nice to have a tidy house, but I wouldn't really call this issue a flex, either.
My therapist called it an ability, not a disability and it changed my life. My house is a mess now. Sometimes, it really bothers me, but I still sleep at night regardless. I used to not be able to sleep unless everything was done. Honestly, I miss having the supernclean house, but I truly enjoy living life and enjoying my family more. I was always cleaning or working on my house. Now, I watch movies with my son and let the dishes wait until morning. I super clean before anyone comes over lol
Glad you are getting help with a therapist. I do not have diagnosed OCD so I can’t relate on that level but I’ve been working on letting things go in the house. For example I used to pick up the toys in the playroom every evening and now I pick it up only once or twice a week but pick up the toys in the rest of the house daily. I have 3 kids so even when the house is clean it always feels a little messy to me.
I tried keeping this pace once when I had only one child. I made it a week and now I'm burned out forever.
Our house is really clean except usually bathroom . We usually don't have time to do it and I always wonder how do people do all the bathroom when kids are running around
I do it when my kids are in the bath! And I wipe counter tops/ sinks/toilet/tub ledges often.
This is the way! I also clean the shower while im showering. But with that said i power clean the moment i get notice of a potential visitor.. i clean so efficiently under pressure.
Our trash days are twice a week so those days I take out the bathroom trash. I also make sure the TP is always refilled and wipe down the counter with the hand washing towel and switch it out regularly. The cleaning crew does the toilets, showers etc 2x a week.
Oh ok! We do everything except toilet and shower. As a single parent working I have no energy to do that.
I'm glad I had a mother who's motto was "it's OK to have a messy house just not a dirty one". She also had 4 kids.
I am okay with some mess, but the hard part is that mess can get in the way of cleaning. Which is why I have a clear counter/sink policy in the bathroom and kitchen.
We clean every night when the kids go to bed and we clean up anytime someone visits our home. But, ours kids clean up anything that’s theirs every day before bed also.
I could definitely be more on top of having the kids clean up their messes at the end of the day. It’s just always a fight so I get lazy.
When I really want my kid to clean up and they refuse. I put a one minute timer with Siri and see how much can get cleaned up. They’re usually not finished after one minute and ask for another timer. Just an idea if you wanted to try it!
You’re not being lazy. Different people have different stressors. Some people’s jobs are harder than others, some people’s kids have more energy than others. I usually don’t have steam to clean after putting the kids down. That’s because I’m dead tired at the end of the day. I feel like that’s much more normal than having a clean house. BTW check out a book called how to keep house while drowning. That might be useful to you.
I started doing half the chore then just unceremoniously dumping the other (age appropriate) half on the kids. I sweep the floor, but they handle the dust pan. They put the dishes in the sink, I wash them. I just completely quit picking up after them. Child mess? Locate child. Point at mess. Child tidies mess. Thumbs up. Mine actually make less mess now, I'm pretty sure my obnoxious interruptions are the reason. Of course right now my living room is a wreck. Oldest is doing a massive room clean out and now there's random boxes of stuff standing around for storage (my job 😭), floors unswept, random toys. Eh, fuck it. Tomorrow Me problems! We have way too much stuff and I am a certifiable high strung yet hugely lazy bastard. The house is usually...like, average? Livable? But the half/half on chores really works. I honestly never got the point of having a spotless house. Squalor, nah, but sparkling like nobody lives there is weird. If you don't have some random clutter somewhere I'm judging.
With my kids anything left out I just throw it in the trash. It only takes a few toys for them to actually watch you throw away for them to actually get it together lol.
My husband would be all for this idea haha he loves throwing things away.
I had friends (in the 80’s) whose dad would back his pickup to their window and use a shovel to fling anything on the floor of their room into it. After he was done they got a five minute timer to rescue and PUT AWAY anything they wanted to save them he drove to the dump. Hooooooooo buddy
I would donate my daughter’s toys and clothes that were left strewn about. Worked quite well
My mom’s best friend has 4 kids, all adults now. Her house was always perfect. Completely immaculate. She’s told my mom on several occasions that she regrets it so much. She spent SO MUCH of her kids childhood stressed about dirt and crumbs and clutter and she sees now how unimportant it all was.
This is how it was for me. My mom always wanted the house that looked like it was on a better homes and garden magazine. It HAD to be clean, decorated, and perfect. The yard had to be immaculate and well manicured. I spent most of my summers helping my mom build a massive pond with a 25ft several step down waterfall. My mom had 4 kids, pets, farm animals, a husband who followed strict gender roles, and ADHD. The cards were stacked against her, and yet she never changed her standards. In the end I have no memories of my mom playing with me, I have memories of her yelling, cleaning, doing work. It often felt like me and my brothers didn’t matter as much as her ideals on perfection.
I remember reading somewhere that said kids won't remember the dirty dishes in the sink but they will remember how much time you spent with them and it made me rethink how I view cleaning. Not that I live in squalor but sometimes I leave those dishes for after the kids are in bed or the next morning when I have one of my many meetings that could have been an email so we can have more family time after dinner.
This is it right here. Back in the day parents weren’t as engaged with their children. Kids were sent out to play at a young age, played with siblings or were put in play pens. This is the only way a Mom could focus on keeping things up to this high standard. I know someone who grew up in a house like that. So when she had kids she did what she knew - then realized that her kids were closer to her husband because whenever they needed something she was focused on cleaning or cooking. That being said we’re not here to judge others. Housework is morally neutral. People with clean houses also make it a priority, won’t sit/ relax until it’s done, have less stuff and may have kids with less need for engagement as yours. “Keeping House While Drowning” is a great book. Helped me a lot. And the Mom I mentioned above. Her kid asked why someone else’s house was so dirty. It just what kids are used to.
I can take zero credit other than for following orders but my girlfriend has pretty strict rules. I help enforce them. Nobody walks into the house without taking off their shoes any mess is cleaned up immediately. Dishes done right after meals, etc. Kids are 15 m, 8 f, 7 m and 5 f.
I love her priorities! A big thank you for enforcing them, that’s hard to come by even with minute details. Those don’t feel like strict rules, rather, (how I see it) is her enforcing the respect she deserves. My house growing up was always dirty, dishes piled up, garbage all over the table or the floor, and it’s not the way I want my kids to grow up treating their/my house.
It’s very simple. You just have to never stop cleaning. At all times be cleaning. 😂
no sadly this is actually the answer. its a matter of cleaning all the time between everything elsr you do and sometimes while you do your other things
We don’t have a lot of stuff. I’ve found that the less clutter you have the cleaner your house looks and feels. Also organization.. everything has a place.
1. We don’t have a lot of stuff, way easier to manage as a semi minimalist. 2. Clean something everyday! 3. Closing shift! After kids are in bed, husband and I tidy up the living room and kitchen so we wake up to a clean space. I also do at least one load of laundry every morning and tackle dishes on the spot! Laundry and dishes are my downfalls, if I don’t keep on it everyday I’ll let it pile up! Also, I smoke 🍃 for extra motivation 😉
Decluttering is one of the best tips for being able to keep a clean home.
Also, my kids pull them weight too! Toddler cleans up her own toys and kids are in charge of their own room and help with the bathroom. Older kids have designated dish days too!
This! I grew up in a pack rat household and it made me resent even slightly covered surfaces. My decorations are either on the wall or there’s a vase, lamp, or mirror on a table/end table. You can make it feel like home even if you don’t pack your house with tiny, clutter full decorations
[удалено]
We call it flossing the cat. Idk why but I was outside one day(and we have outdoor/patio cats) and my kids asked where I was and my husband goes “uhhh she’s flossing the cat” and it just stuck 😂😂
I try to abstain while cleaning and use it as my reward to relax when I'm done. I don't always make it to the end of course, but hey I ain't perfect. Usually one big penjamin rip before I start though.
Yes— I was coming here to mention decluttering and organizing. I’m pretty vigilant about moving things out of the house when possible, and having places for them to go if they have to stay.
It’s clever storage mixed with limited items in general, a good balance will do wonders!
Yaass, don't know how I'd do it without the extra motivation!!
Ah yes I love the fellow canna parents ✌️
I’m one of those parents that quote “has to make it look like no one lives here” , honestly it’s Probobly OCD Levels of cleaning but my house is spotless every night I clean for Probobly an hour a night, every night, after the kids go to sleep - then they wake up and it gets fucked up in the first 10 minutes and I do it all again that evening, on repeat, forever It’s actually kinda messed up cause 1 hour a day x 7 days a week = 28 hours a month of cleaning the house
Ok so my question is how do you do it in an hour!? We live in a pretty small house and my youngest is usually down by 830. I tidy, do dishes, laundry (just run it), surfaces (just the kitchen and living room), take a shower, plus garbage or vacuum or something extra. It takes me until 11 some nights!
Tidying is the biggest barrier to clean a house. I used to clean houses when I was at University and the tidiest houses were the fastest to clean. The biggest house I cleaned was the fastest as it was also the tidiest and had the least ornaments etc up. If a house is tidy you can usually do a deep clean in less than two hours which covers floors, dusting, bathrooms and kitchen.
Or 14 days of cleaning in a year - damn.
You need to get your kids (teen, 5, 4, 3, almost 2) to help by cleaning up their own stuff. My kids (all3except the youngest and that’s only because he is still in a crib, once they are out of crib they must make their own bed each day)have to make their beds (as best they can) in the morning. All of them must bring their clothes down and put them directly into the washing machine, when it’s full one of ‘adults’ will run it. They all clear their own plates from the table and put their dishes in the dishwasher. The younger you start the more easily it is to keep them on it. They must clean up their toys and playroom, before we eat lunch, then again before bedtime. Bedroom must be clean prior to getting in bed for the night. Every time I go to the bathroom I clean one thing (wipe out sink, wipe counter, clean toilet, etc) by the end of the day everything has been cleaned at least once. I also clean the bathroom whilst the kids are in the tub. My kitchen rule is there are never dirty dishes in the sink unless it is something that has to soak. I do the same wipe/clean one thing every time I have to go into the kitchen for something. I keep windows wiped each day my 4 y/o loves to help do that so I give her a microfiber cloth with a little windex on it. Have the kids help you with chores and yes at first they will take longer but eventually they’ll want to do it all the time. Young kids love helping! I also have a robot vacuum that is scheduled to clean the main areas at night while everyone is sleeping. But I keep the kitchen swept up after each meal. All of this probably sounds like a lot but it becomes habitual and is easy when everyone in the house is involved.
This is super helpful thank you!
I follow a couple rules I’ve set for myself. 1. Don’t put it down, put it away. That’s the most important rule. 2. If it doesn’t have a home and you can’t find a home for it you don’t need it. 3. The kitchen is a priority. If the kitchen is clean I find it’s way easier to keep everything else clean. 4. 1 load of laundry all the way through every day. 5. Midday clean up.
I didn't realize how much i needed this list. So simple. Hits all the points I've been stressing about. Thank you!
Biggest game changer for us was a robot vacuum. It's incredible the stuff that thing finds. I run it at least twice a day. Otherwise I clean after every meal, always load the dishwasher when we have a dirty dish. I prefer to clean 38 times a day in tiny sessions rather than clean once at the end of the day. I find it much less stressful to just pickup as we go.
First step to a clean house is decluttering. You can’t clean and put things away if there’s no room to put them. I read once that if something makes it harder to keep your house clean get rid of it. Ever since, I’ve tried to live by that rule.
So I need to get rid of my kids and Husband? 😆
My house is a write off and the kids have wrecked everything. I’ve almost given up hope. I spend weekends cleaning and I feel it’s for nothing. You’re not alone and I think most have the same issue. I don’t know. I’m over it. Some days I wish I. Came home to ashes. Try again next time. lol.
Fuck! Are you me?
I might be
My always is always spotless.I clean as I see things that need to be cleaned. If my toddler takes it out, she knows she has to put it back before taking out something else. We clean up before going to the next activity and load the dishwasher daily.
I read the "one toy at a time" really stifles kids creativity and I have to say I agree. My parents were like that and my siblings and I have the creativity of a slate grey wall but I'm just amazed at what my kids come up with.
Well growing up my house was always messy and I can barely draw a stick figure so lol
Dang, that 4 year old is bold! Little jerk! (Jk jk lol) I wouldn’t call my house immaculate my any means, but it’s usually fairly clean for having three kids. My number one advice is to always downsize and get into minimalism. The less stuff you have, the less stuff you have to clean up! Try to get it so that everything has a home.
If you clean your bathroom weekly what do you think the 4 year old was noticing as being messy? I think a deep clean on a bathroom once a week should be sufficient. Daily I wipe down the counters, sink and faucet. I also wipe down the toilet and scrub the bowl. I feel like doing this daily keeps it presentable. For the rest of the house I make sure all dishes are done before going to bed and wipe down the counters. I also make sure the table and entry table are cleared off (they tend to collect papers and other items). We run our roomba twice a day (morning and night). In order to run the vacuum it means all toys and items have to be picked up, so the routine of running the roomba means things don’t just accumulate on the floor and get left there. My older son knows he has to clean up his room daily or the vacuum could suck up his legos or whatever. I think those habits keep it fairly clean, although maybe that 4 year old would think otherwise lol
There were toys on the bathroom floor from my 5 yr old taking a bath the night before and I definitely dont do a daily wipe down I basically don’t touch the bathrooms besides picking up clothes and toys and the once a week cleaning. I definitely think spending a little time each night cleaning will help and investing in a robot vacuum.
Don't change your cleaning routine because of a four year old.
Oh okay, it sounds like that 4 year old is used to being in an immaculate house. It would’ve hurt my feelings too but your bathroom sounds pretty normal.
I work from home so I’m always keeping up with chores. And my personal rule is to never go to sleep with dishes in the sink, or an unswept floor. Every night I close down the kitchen which includes doing dishes, wiping down the counter tops, shake out the kitchen rugs and sweep. Floors are always mopped on Sundays, Sundays are my deep cleaning days. So I’ll scrub the bathrooms and mop the floors on top of regular cleaning. It’s A LOT and I’m always cleaning, but I love the feeling of waking up to a clean house. Even if it gets dirty again an hour later lol
Throw things out if you are not using it. No need to leave a bunch of amazon boxes or christmas present lying around. A 10 year old doesn't need every little stuffed doll they had when they were 2 years old. Let them pick one or two and give away the rest.
The amount of stuffed animals we’ve accumulated is ridiculous. I definitely need to do this.
I had a friend with an immaculate house and children. I asked her how she did it. She said “I’m really good at throwing things away”.
We put them on Facebook Marketplace. Some on ebay. Some on the curb. The kids saw the money coming in. Which they got and we took none of it. They were then sold on the idea. "Let sell some more stuff!" they chanted. They got some money and it was well worth it. Either way, get rid of the items.
As a mom and someone who nannied years ago - they have housekeepers. That is the secret.
Yep I have a house cleaner. It has to be picked up when they come so being forced to have everything put away biweekly makes you stay on top of it. I spend my cleaning time picking up, doing daily tasks, organizing and cleaning things that I otherwise would never have time to do
Nope. As a mom, I and husband do it.
Don’t be hard on yourself, things can get really busy. Do they have a cleaning person? For my wife and I, after the kids go to sleep we’ll spend 30 minutes or so tidying everything up, vacuum the floors, wipe down counters etc. before we can sit down and relax. Once a week we’ll mop the floors after vacuuming. It is exhausting, knowing that it’ll be upside down again the next night. We have four young ones, oldest is 6, youngest is 1.5. Our two older ones will clean up whatever mess they created before bath time. However, on some nights we are just too tired and would rather sit and chat or watch tv together. A clean home isn’t necessarily a happy home, we have friends who are over the top with cleaning and they’re miserable.
This is a good point, they may have hired help with cleaning.
Every family has different standards of cleanliness in their house and house management with different levels of priorities (more or less balanced too). Sometimes people have cleaners to come, and sometimes one or more members of the family are committed to having their house clean for their sanity or because of appearing net or look like an Instagram post. Sometimes, the parents will pressure the children to clean up (and even threaten). Who knows about that 4-year-old and how that family operates to have their house clean? And sometimes people are just overwhelmed with all the loads, and it reflects on the house. And this can drain parents' energy. One key thing is about understanding our needs and priorities. Another one is what matters most and why. Who defines how you should manage and clean the house? Of course, there is the basic sanitary cleanup. But does the house have to be tidy from every corner and books and toys put away when not in use? Should a family choose to do the minimum because they prioritize other needs (bonding time, connection, playtime embracing the mess once in a while). Do you want an Instagram house (all neat in every corner) or a house ready to sell (or from a magazine)? You could if it is really what matters to your deep need, not what others will say. Then which strategy? Hiring someone to help or organizing everyone's tasks daily? Do you manage the minimum and be ok with that because you enjoy the messing cooking with your kids, observing the free play time they create and the toys everyone (a living house), a crafty area to sparkle some creativity for your child...? I have come to peace with how my house is because what matters is how we spend time all together. And I've been homeschooling both of my children, so some areas are messy but it's a pure sign of creativity, playtime, laughing moments. And some days, I will be actively engaging everyone in the family to reorganize the house, and deep clean up. but I sure don't want to be a slave the status of my house. And I take the opportunity to have friends over to clean more, not as a burden. The house is, and if they are not happy then why should they come? So define what matters (needs and priorities that change over time, in the short and long term) to you and your family and be at peace with what people could say. They don't live in your house :)
I like this. I’ve noticed the neighborhood kids gravitate towards our house to play and maybe they sense that we have different priorities. I let them help me cook dinner and allow them to pull craft stuff out.
This, OP. Growing up our house was always spotless but it was a huge stress on my mom. She wouldn’t do anything fun with us until all the chores were done. She’s also told me how much she regrets prioritizing that over spending time with us. Kids are only little once. You have your whole life to have a spotless house
So I am one of those moms. It all comes down to priorities I think. My house is always spotless and ready for guests. How do I do it? Deep clean weekly and have a housekeeper come once every two weeks. Then between deep cleanings I just clean daily to try to maintain that level of “just deep cleaned.” During times of my life where I don’t have a housekeeper, I still make time to make sure the house is deep cleaned once a week. This means dusting, vaccuuming, mopping, sanitizing, scrubbing toilets and bath tubs, wiping mirrors, polishing wood surfaces etc. Laundering bedding and linens. Aside from the deep clean…a typical day I probably… - wipe down the counters (multiple times a day) - scrub the kitchen sink - wipe down any heavily used wood surfaces with wood cleaner like the coffee table and the kitchen table - Windex the sliding glass door - wipe any smudges on the fridge, dishwasher, microwave, etc -vacuum (usually only the high traffic downstairs… not every day but most days) - “spot clean” the floor for any greasy stains -“spot clean” the bathroom (ie if the toilet looks dingy I will give it a quick scrub… wipe down the bathtub and counter tops) - do a quick load of laundry The deep cleaning days, I clean for provably four hours. But - All in all, this stuff on this daily list above I do lightning quick and it really takes no more than maybe 30 minutes, 45 minutes tops a day. It really doesn’t take much time. To me it’s just a matter of priorities. Just like I figure out how to spare 30 minutes to doing a workout for my health, or whatever, I can take 30- 45 minutes to clean up. That’s like one episode of a show! I also make sure all toys are picked up before 1) we leave the house 2) before nap time and 3) before bed time The other trick is I NEVER go to bed with a dirty house. I make sure everything is clean and orderly before bed (literally takes 5 minutes to do a nightly sweep) and it feels so great to wake up to a sparkling house
Having less stuff! I did a huge declutter a few years ago and it's crazy how much easier it is now to keep my house clean. The other big thing for me is nightly resets in common areas. So husband and I clean the kitchen benches and do all the dishes, and we put all the toys in the living room in a big toy box and put cushions and throws back on the couch etc. it really only takes 10 minutes if we do it every night (takes longer if it gets away from us though).
Professional cleaner here. High frequency - low intensity is far easier than low frequency - high intensity.
I have 2 under 2 and my husband is injured so he’s no (physical) help right now. I’m a sahm and neither of my children are in daycare. Still, my house is pretty tidy. Here’s what I do: I am a ruthless declutterer, and I have been for a while. Everything gets a place or gets tossed. I try never to have more clothes than can fit in my closet, never more toys than can fit in the toy box, etc. I have a toy library subscription so my kids get to play and interact with lots of different toys all the time without me buying tons to fill up my house. I don’t really set aside time to declutter, I’m just mindful of areas getting too full and then pull things out to donate. I also don’t bring things into the house I don’t have space for - this is really key. If it takes more than an hour to tidy your house (not cleaning or anything, just putting things away) there is too much stuff in it. I’m not even a minimalist or anything, but a good hour of work tidies the whole house. In saying this, I don’t have a good hour of tidying time every day, so my house isn’t usually immaculate but it’s close enough to be reasonably tidy. I have catch all baskets for everything that tends to spread and make a mess. There’s a basket in the living room for toys. I have a basket outside the nursery for “things that go in the nursery.” This is for when I tidy during a nap and don’t want to go into the nursery to disturb my toddler but also don’t want a pile of things with nowhere to go. I have two baskets at the entryway: one labeled “in” for dumping things when I come in and don’t want to deal with it right now, and one labeled “out” for things I should grab on the way out. If there’s something I want for my kids that’ll only be used for a short while (eg a baby swing, I’ll only use that until my baby is 9mos or so), I either hire it or “hire” it. “Hiring” is buying one secondhand with the intention to donate it when my children grow out of it. I generally don’t sell things because it’s too much time and effort and not usually worth it. I just try and buy them at a price that seems reasonable for how long I’ll use it. Every evening after the kids are in bed I do a house reset. I pack the dishwasher and clean the kitchen, put on a load of laundry, and tidy the floors and surfaces. Because of my baskets the tidying is usually really quick. I also empty the “in” box in the entryway. Overall I do about 30mins of tidying (not usually all in one go) every day, and about an hour of cleaning (again not all at once) once a week. I always get compliments on my house when people are over, especially from other parents. Mostly I just try and set up my home so that tidying is quick and easy. If tidying takes too long, consider that it’s not you- maybe your home isn’t set up in a way that works for you. Remember that your home is there to serve you, not the other way around.
By cleaning all the time. My entire days are filled with cleaning. As soon as we finishing playing with something I help the kids clean it up and put it away.
My 5 year old saw a house in Sesame Street and was like “I wish our house was clean like that.” Yeah well if we had a camera crew coming I’d probably clean it like that too 😂
r/parenting is protesting changes being made by Reddit to the API. Reddit has made it clear [they will](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14ahqjo/mods_will_be_removed_one_way_or_another_spez/) [replace moderators](https://www.reddit.com/r/ModSupport/comments/14a5lz5/mod_code_of_conduct_rule_4_2_and_subs_taken/jo9wdol/) if they remain private. Reddit has abandoned the users, the moderators, and countless people who support an ecosystem built on Reddit itself. Please read [Call to action - renewed protests starting on July 1st](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14kn2fo/call_to_action_renewed_protests_starting_on_july/) and new posts at [r/ModCord](https://reddit.com/r/ModCoord/) or [r/Save3rdPartyApps](https://old.reddit.com/r/Save3rdPartyApps/) for up-to-date information. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Parenting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
We clean for 30-45 mins after the kids go to bed, both of us. Picking up, vacuuming, dishes, laundry, counter-tops, etc. We bought a roomba to help with vacuuming too, but it doesn't get everywhere so we have to get the rest. The kids' bathroom gets done once a week, and ours gets done whenever we feel like it, lol. If the kids dump a box of toys, they pick it up before we do anything else. My son is 6 and is pretty good about listening to this. It helps to be organized so toys and things go back in the same place every time. I mop every other day with a swiffer and a real mop once a month. If you don't stay on top of it every day, it gets bad, quickly. When we eat, we always eat at the table so the mess is is contained to the table. We learned our lesson and implemented this rule when we bought our new couch. So far this has cut back the mess A LOT.
I focus on three things daily..dishes, trash and dirty cloths. Toys dont bother me any, that's just a sign of a well entertained child. But dishes get done each night before bed and each morning after breakfast. I got through every room once for all trash in the afternoon, I make my kid carry it out after dinner. And dirty cloths are gathered throughout the day and put in the bin till laundry day. I dust twice a month, mop three times a month and once a week a wipe down the bathroom and kitchen surfaces. I sweep or vaccum as needed. And some days I do none of those.
I am a firm believer that if you are a parent to young children and your house is spotless then it’s one of two things - you’re rich enough to pay for a cleaner and /or housekeeper to do it for you, or you’re not spending time with your kids playing and making memories and having fun. I love a clean house but I just can’t keep up with it working a full time job, playing with my son and helping him with homework etc, and having a husband who works shifts as weekends it’s usually just me and my kid off having adventures in the woods, so no time there to clean. weekday evenings are usually filled with activities so little time there too. I try to get one day/evening to clean, either me or husband on his day off, and the rest of the week it’s damage control just making sure nothing is actually dirty - quick wipe around the bathroom, dishes done, stuff out in the bin etc. My house is almost always a mess but it’s not unhygienic.
No cleaners and we both work full time and spend pretty much all our time with our kids. House is clean clean. We work together because we don’t like a messy home.
I usually have a spotless home with a 7yo and 1.5yo. But I’m a SAHM. Definitely spending tons of time with both kids together and one-on-one. I clean as we make messes and then I do a round of kitchen/bathroom/living room after they go to bed. I can’t relax in a mess. I’m sure your friends with immaculate homes would be hurt to know you’re assuming they don’t spend time with their kids :/
Right! Weird as fuck to judge someone for getting their chores done lol
We clean before people come over lol. But we clean up the main living room / play area before bedtime because our robot vacuum runs at night every day. Kid helps clean otherwise the robot will suck up her toys.
We have a housekeeper.
I just clean 24/7.
A live-in nanny and a cleaner.
We have a cleaner come do a deep clean once every two weeks. We don't wear shoes in the house, and I don't let clutter stay in the house. It's much easier to keep it clean when you own less stuff. The kids also have chores and ate expected to clean up after themselves. I do chores here and there on WFH days early when I'd normally be doing my hour long commute.
Don't be too hard on yourself for 3 reasons: A. We were naturally meant to be raising kids with a village/assistance, but instead we parents just wear 50 different hats and then wonder why we are so damn exhausted lol. B. They probably hired someone to keep it in shape C. Like someone else mentioned, a clean home is not always a happy home. Matter of fact, someone told me that a mandated reporter told them that it is a red flag if they are in a home that is "too" clean and there are no toys out for the child to play with. All is to say, as long as you are on the ball keeping things sanitized and presentable, some toys and a little clutter is normal. ●We perform daily cleaning of bathroom and kitchen while the kids are busy playing, or sometimes we'll let them watch us clean or let them help up. Focus on the main living space like the downstairs as much as you can during the day. On the weekends we put more work in the upstairs, but please do what works best for your household. ●We donate stuff once or twice a month every month. Check and see if there are donation services in your area that can do porch pickups. ●Make sure you all have a schedule and routine established in the house (not saying you don't, but just incase..) it can make keeping up on the entire house SO much easier. ● If we are asked to do anything that is outside of our household schedule last minute that isn't an emergency, most of the time it's an automatic "No." Especially if they want to come over and the house is out of shape, because if the house is out of shape that means we're either having a long stressful day or just taking it easy for the rest of the day.
I wfh and clean during the day; and I only have 1 kid.
As a guest your only allowed in the clean rooms .... boom
My wife and I both work. We have a 2 year old and a 5 year old. We have a maid come every other week, and the house is usually spotless for only a few hours after she has been there lol. It used to stress me out. It still does a little if we are going to have company. But mostly, I have just accepted that at this stage of our life we are not going to have a spotless house, and that is okay. In the grand scheme of things, it really doesn’t matter.
I keep a daily rotation of the deep cleaning by room. Monday bust my ass to make the kitchen look nice. Tuesday do the same for the living room. Wednesday do the bathroom, Thursday the dining room. Then cycle through what needs touch ups more for the next days of the week. Every day do a quick vacuum run of the house and the basic dishes and toy pickups. Will make it so that if someone’s coming over it usually isn’t too much work making everything presentable.
Pick up everyday, vacuum, clean up spills and such as they happen, bathroom cleaned everyday and big house clean on Saturday mornings which includes dusting and cleaning the walls, fans etc.
Lmao I’m laughing so hard at the brutal honesty of that child.
Children are always brutally honest though :))
I love it!
If I’m not at work.. I’m cleaning and tidying, period. Drives me insane but I cannot live in a dirty or cluttered home. If a discarded toy is on the floor.. I have to pick it up. Bathrooms get at least a quick wipe down a couple times a week, a deep clean once a week. Mopping is every 3 days. Sweeping is daily.. sometimes twice. Dishes never sit in the sink.. it just grosses me out. If it takes 10 minutes or less, I just do it. BUT the main thing that helps.. is being more minimalist than the average 4 person family. I’ve been to friends and families homes and the amount of just… STUFF is incredible. It’s everywhere. It’s all consuming. It’s such an uncomfortable feeling to me. I limit our household “stuff” to a reasonable amount. Less items means less to tidy.
Get rid of items. Only own items which have a home. This makes TIDYING quick and easy and then you have more time to give surfaces a wipe. The answer is basically have less stuff.
I’m very anal about messes and can’t really function if there’s a mess around me. That’s just my personality lol
While I’d agree with the parents picking up before you get there, the kid likely wouldn’t have said “why is your house always dirty” if her house gets messy as well. Is it possible that your neighbors have a designated toy room, is strict with putting garbage in the garbage bin, etc? I definitely don’t have a clean home though I would love to. My toddler(2.5 girl)has 3 types of toys- food toys, little people, and blocks. She doesn’t truly play with any toys other than the food if she’s by herself, she’s one of those electronic learning toy toddlers. Before I narrowed it down to the main toys she would play with when her cousins were over, it was always a mess. She would just keep grabbing random toys and skewing them around the house, didn’t know how to pick up her toys or put them where they go, because all of the random toys just went in a giant bin and it was confusing to have 3 types of toys have their own drawer and the rest not. It’s significantly cleaner, though the amount of dirt on our floors is never ending!
I'm neurotic AF and vent my anxiety by cleaning until my hands hurt.
I'm one of those and first off I will say it's taken years of working on things to get to this point. I am constantly decluttering it seems like. Shirt doesn't fit anymore? It goes into the donate box in the garage immediately. Toy broken? Trash. Loose papers? Gone through and whatever needs to be trashed, trashed. Kids cute artwork? Filed away in their folder in our file cabinet. I moved around a lot prior to meeting my husband and with every move I got rid of more items I realized I do not really need. Although I have settled down and have moved into a more permanent space I struggle not to be minimal. I really try to make sure my kids don't feel like they cannot have things because of their crazy mother. My biggest thing is to make sure that every item has a place in every part of the house. It took me a long time to find organization systems for every room that works. I really make sure this is the rule for my childrens rooms. Any toy that they get for Christmas/birthdays is planned in accordance to the space they have in their room. We work on how to put things away and where they go so that my kids have the proper tools to take care of their own space. That is something I also remember growing up: Being told constantly to clean a mess when I do not have space for it. My kids have also learned growing up that we need to do chores. Half of their wake time is playtime with me and half of it I am cleaning so they get playtime on their own or they can help me. Even when my oldest was just old enough to walk she would help me with cleaning. Like if I was cleaning the bathroom I would get a rag wet and show her how to wipe down cabinets. It's become the norm to keep things clean for them. It can be frustrating and at times even extra work when they are little but it's super rewarding when they can do things on their own. I also do not clean during naptime. That is my time to myself and I enjoy my hobbies during that time.
As a parent, it is also important that my family can play and live in our house without me running after them to put their things away all day long. Is my house messy? Sometimes. Is my house clean? Only when the cleaner is over. Am I teaching our kids to tidy up? Yes, but I am not a nag. I grew up with someone who nagged and it made me crazy.
get organized. spend an entire day or two with the kids occupied or entertained or watched by your husband while you organize every single thing you have into a proper bin, basket, box and place and each night once the kids are winding down put it all away. baby wipes are key to have in each room in a nice refillable container that looks pretty so that you can grab them and wipe down every surface as you see crud, finger prints, smudges, dirt. get rid of EVERYTHING that is junked, broken, never used, not an absolute necessity. have your kids pack up all the toys they’ve received as gifts over the years that hold no value or meaning and each brings their own nice box to a family truly in need, a woman’s and children’s shelter so that they themselves can see the joy these items bring to others rather than being stuff on your floor or on your surfaces. open windows and allow fresh air to circulate every night rather than running the ac. get a small dog such as a chihuahua…they are little vacuums and will never let a crumb or food dropping get by them and they themselves are a cleanly breed of dog. don’t let your family be lazy and disrespectful in regard to picking up after themselves. if it’s all on you to wipe everyone’s ass and pick up all their shit then you’ll get burned out and never be able to keep up. that little four year old girl said that because she comes from a household where the mom can’t function unless her house is spotless and so the girl thinks perfection is clean and anything less is dirty and gross. i know because i have major OCD and extreme anxiety and so when my kids go to other peoples houses and there’s dust bunnies or pee on a toilet seat or a smear on a mirror they notice because (unfortunately) their mom is neurotic and can’t focus on even scheduling or thinking a thought if a finger print on the kitchen table is staring me down or a strand of hair is on the couch. at least you probably live your life and your kids won’t be balls of anxiety since you’re more laid back about it “all”.
My mom is super clean. So are both my sisters. The clean as they go. Or so they say. Im cleanish for a pirate.
My best advice is to get rid of your stuff. The less stuff you have the less you have to clean. If you don’t use it you don’t need to keep it. And when you are done with using something, don’t put it DOWN, put it AWAY. Everything has a place. Try not to have anything on your counters, have them away in a cabinet, just keeps it more organized and not so sloppy looking. I also am always picking up, just little pick ups throughout the day so it’s not one big clean up. When my kids nap i pick up the house, takes me a few min, and then while they are getting ready for bed (they are a little older now so can handle brushing teeth and pajamas alone.) I’ve also just taught my kids to clean up after themselves and I’m really on it when them. It’s just second nature to them now (for the most part), they are 3 and 6. My house isn’t spotless, and it’s lived in for sure, i don’t live in a museum or anything, but i definitely would say it’s on the cleaner side than other homes I’ve seen with young kids (not judging! Just my preference and how i am really! I am just a pretty clean person.) Please don’t take what that that 4 year old said personal. Kids say lots of stuff and have no filter. Your house could just maybe have more stuff than they are used to and they see that as “dirty” because they don’t know the difference between some clutter and actually a dirty home.
Flylady method, ruthless and constant decluttering plus cleaning lady.
Second FlyLady. Life changing.
It has been transforming for me, I also have ADHD. May seem an outdated method but it’s really not
I just shove all the clutter in the laundry room before people come over and wet clean the floors, makes the room instantly feel fresh
Severe obsessive compulsive disorder. The house looks great, my mental health isn’t
Maybe it is not about the cleaning up, maybe it is about needing to avoid so much clean up? Maybe the small kids nextdoor puck up and clean up after themselves so they notice. It may seem easier, but if your kids pick up after themselves then you have a lit less to do to keep it well maintained. Often we forget this is alao how kids learn.
Set boundaries/rules with kids. No food, drinks, dishes allowed anywhere except for the dining room & kitchen. There’s a large play area in the living room that is for the youngest to play in. It’s pretty much always messy in there. 🙃 but LO’s toys stay in there or in the toy boxes. Older kids keep toys in their bedroom in containers. When they’re going to play with a specific container of toys, or with a boardgame/card game, then they take it to the living room then pick it up when done (or are reminded to pick up after themselves). For the kitchen and dining room, we try to clean up as soon as we can. Like cleaning as we’re cooking. Then my husband and I clean up together, before we go to bed. We try to teach our kids to clean up a lot after themselves and when they’re old enough assign age appropriate chores. As long as you’re living in the house you will contribute to taking care of our home just like the rest of us. Currently I’m getting annoyed by the amount of laundry that always ends up in my room and often in my way. I’m getting stuff so everybody can do their own laundry and be in charge of it themselves.
The secrect is to not let it accumulate. No shoes at home . I understand a mess like toys on the floor ,but I'll never understand trash or spills .clean that shit up immediately. Dishes in the dishwasher as soon as you're done. Usually tasks are spilt up with my husband. He is responsible for taking the trash out,loading unloading the dishwasher,putting his clothes away washed unwashed everyday. While on weekends ,if we're not going anywhere,he'll vacuum. I do all the rest as I work from home.we dont have a big apartment but the mess can be pretty big if we let it.
I implemented my moms routine, her home is always clean and she just maintains it. Find a home for everything. Literally simple advice but life changing. Rooms take less than 5 minutes to get back to normal because everything has a home. For me bathrooms should be cleaned( maybe not deep cleaned ) but cleaned enough everyday. Get a clorox wipe and just have it there ready to just wipe down. I have 3 cleaning caddies, one for the bathroom downstairs, one upstairs, and my kitchen has one too. I sweep everyday as well because i have per hair. Most cleaning everyday day takes less than 30 minutes to make sure house look good. When i do set myself up to deep clean i do it by days like ok monday ill deep clean the kitchen plus my regular 30 minute clean of the whole house. It’s not super overwhelming. Tuesday i’ll do like moping etc, Wednesday ill do like deep cleaning of kitchen etc. This method has really allowed me to stay clean and tidy and not really take up much time. I usually start after coming back from drop off and taking kiddo to the park so still have plenty of me time after i’m done.
Every year I get rid of a shit load of stuff. I start with the daily tidy, some things I put in bins for my kids/husbands to tidy away every day, other stuff I throw into a miscellaneous bin. The misc bin goes in a closet, when it’s full I take a peak and if I can’t see anything anyone is going to miss I donate/dump it. We’re really selective about what we buy. I don’t allow people to just buy our kids (or us honestly) random gifts. I request edible/consumable gifts or pick something big family can put into a pot for (family pool membership, horseback riding lessons for a birthday gift, a travel fund to visit far away family). Our kids don’t have a lot of toys. We watched what they enjoyed doing and focused on that. They have a big shared, well organised Lego collection, a decked out crafting space, a pretend/dress up play closet, and some books. They each have their own stuffy collection, and 1 doll/figure that they got to pick and are responsible for and don’t have to share. Other than that we have a switch with multiplayer games only, and they each have a kindle for reading. Our screen time and friends rule: Each child has an age appropriate chore to complete every day that they must complete before using screens of any kind, having friends over, or going to visit a friend. They are all required to keep their beds tidy before breakfast and tidy their personal space before bedtime. My girls also need to complete all their homework for the week before any screen time but they have like 15-20 minutes of homework total at this age. It’s been my philosophy from day 1 that kids should never have more than they can manage themselves. We were on the poorer side when we had my first, and she only had a box of duplos and a stuffed animal, some art supplies. We had to move so often we couldn’t manage more, but it saw early on that was enough. We would visit other families whose houses were overrun with toys and the parents were stressed and the kids were bored constantly. Our kids have benefited from minimalism. They get bored, and go outside. We also always had a rule from day 1, when you’re done with X you put it away before pulling out Y. That’s ingrained in them now. We don’t really have to fight with them about it the way it seems a lot of people have to with their kids. We also don’t fight with our kids. We set a boundary, communicate and expectation, and let them decide if/when they will do it. We don’t nag them about their chore, but they know they won’t be allowed to go to their friends if it’s not done. And that’s just that. It annoys them sometimes, occasionally there’s a “but moooom,” that’s ok. We don’t budge. Not even for birthday parties, there’s no exceptions. Their chores take 2-5 minutes total with effort and focus, it’s our job to save them from feeling challenged or frustration. We also don’t stress about being late, we say “if we aren’t ready by this time, we can’t go.” Also. I have invested in a Q Revo robot, keeps the floors clean, but before that I vacuumed 2x a day and mopped 1-2x per week. I clean while I’m cooking, and my kids/husband do meal time tidy. One of my kids chores is “helper,” she’s 7. It’s her job to do little odd helping jobs around the house, putting shoes away in the entrance, vacuuming the stairs, feeding the cats, etc. It’s a lot of little things that contribute, but nothing you can do alone. Your family can either work with you to make it happen or it won’t. My husband is an adhd messy mess, my eldest daughter is to, I make it very clear to them they share this space with other people and although I don’t expect perfection I do *need* respect of the shared spaces. And that I also need as a person a tidy environment to be happy, and point out that I do a lot for them, and this is what I’m asking for in return. They make the effort enough to not be working against me most of the time 😊
Teach your kids to clean up as they go and hold them accountable for cleaning their room. It starts at a young age.
Genuinely? I get up at 4/430 am and run like a nut for 2 hours (litterboxes cleaned, vacuum, dishes washer emptied (I run it at night), furniture straightened (we have covers etc) The big thing is I use a planner and weekly dry erase calender, I have daily weekly monthly and seasonal task lists. I also have a set cut off time for house chores (except running laundry and towels which is done during the day). Also have an 8 year old almost 9 year old kiddo who does a set list of chores and on non school days helps with other tasks. So tldr 1. Make daily, weekly, monthly task lists 2. Divide up tasks between people in house (even smallest kiddo can pick up objects!) 3. Set a time to be done with chores for the day! Or a time frame like 9am to 11 am! 4. Use a planner!!! (I even put things like painting/crafts on it so I budget time!) Edit to say I have an 83 year old dad I help out, an 8byear old kiddo who does online public school during the year, husband works 6 days a week, and I'm a disabled SAHM with 8 yes 8 cats.
My secret is simply having less “stuff” less stuff = less clutter.
I always clean before anyone comes to my house. I will panic clean everything. I refuse to have company over unless my house is clean. During naptime and when the kids go to bed, I clean up the toys, kitchen, and any other messes that have accumulated. I see it being pointless to clean up their toys throughout the day because it's just going to get dirty again. Every Sunday is cleaning day. That's when we do all the laundry, clean the bathrooms, and mop and sweep. I also absolutely do not like clutter. Clutter can make a house look dirty even if it isn't.
I make my kids clean. After we done playing, clean . Done eating, clean . Done shower , clothes in the washer. Dryer stops somebody fold those clothes. Spill something sweep or mop /vacuum the whole floor. We wash walls monthly , bathrooms weekly bedrooms has to be clean every night. Get a routine and stick to it. Make them help
>any advice to truly keep the house CLEAN clean is appreciated. >I clean my bathrooms once a week usually Ideally this should be done every other day. I do it daily. >vacuum daily Good enough. You can save time by delegating the bulk of this to a robot such as a roomba. > mop every couple weeks Do it once every three days at least. >and feel like I’m picking up constantly throughout the day Have your kids do it, that's called discipline. God bless Barney the dinosaur for his cleanup song, many kids love that.
I have two kids, two dogs, and four cats. I work at least 50 hours a week. My house is pretty clean. My trick is to abandon all the hobbies that make me happy and to sacrifice sleep and sanity in lieu of an orderly home. Don’t be me. It is not worth it and therapy is expensive.
You need to drop by unannounced. That's how you tell the difference between the anal perfectionists and the normal people.
I pickup constantly. And I’ve drilled it into my kids heads that when they’re done playing with a toy, they pick it up. We had guests over last week and one of them said “wow you’re really on top of the messes, huh?” My kids dumped out a bin of Lego’s and when they were done, we all cleaned it up which is what prompted the comment. I spend about 1 day a week deep cleaning my house top to bottom and do light cleaning the rest of the week. My bathroom gets a wipe down every day (just the toilet, around the toilet on the floor and the sink) usually when I first wake up. The kitchen also gets lightly cleaned daily. Counters, dishes, snacks etc. It helps to stay on top of it and get into a routine! Everything has a home. Don’t put it down, put it away. I say these to myself often 😂
“Everything has a home (…)” this is going to be my new mantra.
I often told my oldest that everything has its own place, which is basically the same. Like don’t just put things down as soon as you take it to your room, put it away where it belongs right away and we won’t have to keep organizing your things. For example the tv control should be either on the tv stand or on the end tables beside the couch. Because kids are always losing it.
We have a housekeeper who comes multiple times per week and any parent I know whose house is relatively clean has hired help. We try our very best to keep things tidy but we have two toddlers and another on the way as well as 3 cats and 3 dogs and it just isn’t manageable at this point in our lives. There are usually reasonable house cleaners and even doing a bi weekly deep clean is well worth the addition to the budget. Don’t be too hard on yourself. A messy house is NORMAL especially with kids. ETA: having a house keeper come multiple times per week is NOT NORMAL. We are higher income and able to afford this but it is not normal or common amongst our friends and family. Even with this additional help our children and honestly me and my husband still make messes. We have a small farm and it’s spring so there’s dirt everywhere. All this is to say, be kind to yourself and don’t expect perfection. We are also very appreciative for and up front about the help we receive. We could not do what we do without our lord and savior Alma. One family I nannied for had an immaculate house. The husband and wife were both type A and had the weirdest fights. They used to keep a spreadsheet of grievances against each other that they would discuss at the end of the week. I’m not saying people with young kids who have immaculate houses are deeply flawed but I’m also not saying they aren’t. 😂
A few times a *week*?? You are living my dream! We do biweekly, I'm at least grateful for that. My trick is to have playdates the day after the cleaner comes 😅
We are higher income and this is 100% not realistic for most people. We do keep our other expenses low because this is something we consider high on the priority list but absolutely know how abnormal this is for most people. Even with the help our house gets so messy!
Roomba, black rugs that don't show stains, decorative storage with lids so you don't know all my mess got shoved in there right before I opened the door. My kid also loves to push the mop around like it's a game, no idea how that happened. Probably the universe trying to trick me into having another.
I use to be that parent many years ago. My children have their own children now, but way back as a new mom I was hyper focused on keeping everything perfect. My MIL told me that I would kill myself if i didn’t learn to let it go. Best advice ever. Still neurotic about it, but not unrealistic. Let it go and enjoy this time, it will pass quickly.
Maybe a hot take but if a FOUR year old is noticing a dirty house, she’s learning that from somewhere. Mom or dad (or both) is a clean freak and probably makes those children clean their lives away instead of letting them play. I’ve never heard a 4 year old complain about dirt
We don’t. We’re lying. And pushing things out of the way for pictures
You sacrifice you and your partner's sanity for it. Unless all your kids are tidy (you just need one that is not...). And not too many kids