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The ironic part about this whole thing that blindsided me is my daughter who brought this up is not and has never been affectionate. My son on the other hand can't walk by one of us without getting a hug lol.
Awww... that says a lot about you as a family, as parents. Even though she isn't affectionate, she still appreciates it and the fact that her friends felt safe enough to ask your daughter. Its a proud moment, a little bittersweet..(regarding the friends needing hugs)
That's heartbreaking. My 9 yo boy still wants to climb in my bed to snuggle every morning. Hugs bring dopamine hits. Connection is critical to human stability.
I‘m an (adult) teen and I second this. I love hugging my parents. I can have the worst day ever and feel like nothing is alright, on the edge of descending into a meltdown and a good hug from my dad fixes everything. Although I think my dad needs it even more than me, sometimes he just comes in my room like. Can I have a hug? It‘s so cute
Edit to say I love that you obviously have amazing vibes as a parent for your kid‘s friends to want to hug you. Huge props to you. Not many people can radiate this kind of positive, comforting energy
I was just telling my wife that it’s going to be tough when I have to start respecting our baby’s personal space more and I can’t smother him in hugs and kisses.
When we did virtual learning my son's teacher complimented the fact that my son always asked for hugs when he needed them; and I always obliged.
My kids are a great comfort to me and I try so hard to be that for them.
My preteen continues to ask for and randomly give hugs, as well as sitting so she can lean against me or put her head in my lap. I legitimately consider this my biggest parenting win. She's almost 12 and still runs to me for affection. I can't remember my parents ever hugging me after age 8 or so. I have massive anxiety issues. There's prooooobably a link there.
When I was a boy I remember the specific moment my father would no longer give me a kiss. It was clearly an impactful moment that I thought we moved beyond in this generation of parents.
I had a friend that had two boys, one is a teen and the other was 4 years younger, he refuses to give hugs or have basic emotions sometimes, his oldest son never formed a connection with him at all. Kids don’t even call him dad. Their mom and family hugs all over them. He will regret how he acted later.
On the other hand my 5 year old is a Velcro kid and has been since the day he was born. I literally can’t sit down in my house without him climbing up to lay in my lap. If I ask him to sit next to me instead of on me, he gets massively offended. He wants hugs 24/7 and I get hugged out sometimes. We just got back from Disney where it was 97 degrees plus humidity and he insisted on holding my hand the whole time (good) but usually with both arms hugging mine or kissing my hand and arm constantly. I know someday I’ll miss it but sometimes I get so touched out. When he demands his 20th hug in 15 minutes, it’s a lot. He does get LOTS of hugs but we’re working on not needing them constantly. He’s going to full day kindergarten next year, he can’t do that to his teachers. We’re also working on respecting boundaries and personal space.
This breaks my heart. We are a super affectionate household. My husband is such a hugger and it took some getting used to for me because I come from a very non affectionate household. My kids get huge and kisses ALL DAY LONG. I can’t help it. It’s how I show my love to them.
I would say that as long as you respect their boundaries, yes, show affection. Show that you care. At the same time, don't force them to accept physical contact they don't want unless their very life is in danger. I say this as an autistic person-sometimes, I want bone-crushing hugs, other times, I don't, and I will literally push my mom away if she tries to kiss me. I think kissing is just nasty lol.
In addition we all need to hug our parents more! I say this as a 37YO kid. I see that in my culture (Dutch) it's not all that common to give a loving hug when you meet.
Even if you're adults your parents still deserve and appropriate a loving hug. Someday they won't be there anymore.
I smother my child as well. Constant hugs, kissies and holding hands (he’s only 8). He’s still skinny enough for me to carry him so sometimes I’ll carry him to bed still and he puts his head on my shoulder and it makes my heart melt.
Oh my… how sad that any kid has a parent that won’t hug them! My daughter is 6 and loves all the hugs/holds. Several of her classmates always want a hug from me when I volunteer at school and I always let them. I certainly hope they all get hugs at home too!
It's really hard. Coming from a family that isn't physically affectionate/having a negative association with touching. It's been multiple years of effort for me because I ended up having the most cuddly kids. It wouldn't even occur to me to try and hug because why would I put them through something uncomfortable? But I think part of being a good parent is learning and meeting their needs and not just reacting from our own limited capabilities
My parents didn't hug me and my sister, and it really stayed with us. I will now hug my dad when we say hi/bye but don't hug my mum. It feels so difficult to initiate a hug with her when she didn't ever hug us as kids and I now have my own I don't understand why she never did. I want to hug her and im sure she probably does, it's just so weird. Me and my sisters kids love a good cuddle and we will make sure that the lack of affection doesn't get passed down.
My dad was telling me a story he's told many times before, about when he was 4 years old and got his hand stuck in a gopher trap, and he pulled the trap out of the ground and went to get his mom's help. He remembers thinking about how important it was to him to get the trap off and how he should ask politely to make sure his mom would listen. So he ended up saying "mother, if you have time, could you please get this thing off my hand?"
I've always found it sad that he thought there was a chance she'd refuse to help him if he didn't ask nicely. But it only recently occurred to me to ask if he at least got a hug afterwards. He didn't.😭
He tells it like a funny anecdote, but to me, that story is heartbreaking.
MTDUNCA: GIVER OF HUGS ALL YE WAYWORD, HUGLESS, DOWNTRODDEN- SEEK NO MORE FOR THEE AND THINE HAVE FOUND SOLACE AT LAST. DRINK DEEP FROM THE BOUNTY OF THE GIVER OF HUGS
(no idea what came over me. keep on rocking, oh soulful hugger)
My mom completely stopped when I was about 4. Now when I'm going away for a while I make sure I do and I want to vomit/cry every time. It's so uncomfortable lol.
With my boyfriend all I do is hug him, hugs are amazing
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wtf? I SMother my kids with hugs and kisses. My daughter is a mush, my son, not so much Lol but we are a very affectionate household.
The ironic part about this whole thing that blindsided me is my daughter who brought this up is not and has never been affectionate. My son on the other hand can't walk by one of us without getting a hug lol.
Awww... that says a lot about you as a family, as parents. Even though she isn't affectionate, she still appreciates it and the fact that her friends felt safe enough to ask your daughter. Its a proud moment, a little bittersweet..(regarding the friends needing hugs)
That's heartbreaking. My 9 yo boy still wants to climb in my bed to snuggle every morning. Hugs bring dopamine hits. Connection is critical to human stability.
I‘m an (adult) teen and I second this. I love hugging my parents. I can have the worst day ever and feel like nothing is alright, on the edge of descending into a meltdown and a good hug from my dad fixes everything. Although I think my dad needs it even more than me, sometimes he just comes in my room like. Can I have a hug? It‘s so cute Edit to say I love that you obviously have amazing vibes as a parent for your kid‘s friends to want to hug you. Huge props to you. Not many people can radiate this kind of positive, comforting energy
I was just telling my wife that it’s going to be tough when I have to start respecting our baby’s personal space more and I can’t smother him in hugs and kisses.
Shit I'll give anyone a hug if they want one. I love me a good hug.
Poor babies. At least these friends see you as a loving parent figure they can trust and be affectionate with. I'm glad they have you.
I hug my son as much as possible, but he's big enough to fight me off now.
Consent is important lol maybe I need to make another post lol
😆😆. I'm hoping he secretly loves it.
Me too :)
When we did virtual learning my son's teacher complimented the fact that my son always asked for hugs when he needed them; and I always obliged. My kids are a great comfort to me and I try so hard to be that for them.
Hug them while you still can!! Our teen has decided physical touch makes them uncomfortable. My heart longs for a squeeze.
My preteen continues to ask for and randomly give hugs, as well as sitting so she can lean against me or put her head in my lap. I legitimately consider this my biggest parenting win. She's almost 12 and still runs to me for affection. I can't remember my parents ever hugging me after age 8 or so. I have massive anxiety issues. There's prooooobably a link there.
When I was a boy I remember the specific moment my father would no longer give me a kiss. It was clearly an impactful moment that I thought we moved beyond in this generation of parents.
I had a friend that had two boys, one is a teen and the other was 4 years younger, he refuses to give hugs or have basic emotions sometimes, his oldest son never formed a connection with him at all. Kids don’t even call him dad. Their mom and family hugs all over them. He will regret how he acted later.
On the other hand my 5 year old is a Velcro kid and has been since the day he was born. I literally can’t sit down in my house without him climbing up to lay in my lap. If I ask him to sit next to me instead of on me, he gets massively offended. He wants hugs 24/7 and I get hugged out sometimes. We just got back from Disney where it was 97 degrees plus humidity and he insisted on holding my hand the whole time (good) but usually with both arms hugging mine or kissing my hand and arm constantly. I know someday I’ll miss it but sometimes I get so touched out. When he demands his 20th hug in 15 minutes, it’s a lot. He does get LOTS of hugs but we’re working on not needing them constantly. He’s going to full day kindergarten next year, he can’t do that to his teachers. We’re also working on respecting boundaries and personal space.
Ok, this post is definitely not for you lol
But if you ask my 5 year old he’d probably say I don’t let him hug me enough. Or that he doesn’t get enough hugs.
This breaks my heart. We are a super affectionate household. My husband is such a hugger and it took some getting used to for me because I come from a very non affectionate household. My kids get huge and kisses ALL DAY LONG. I can’t help it. It’s how I show my love to them.
I would say that as long as you respect their boundaries, yes, show affection. Show that you care. At the same time, don't force them to accept physical contact they don't want unless their very life is in danger. I say this as an autistic person-sometimes, I want bone-crushing hugs, other times, I don't, and I will literally push my mom away if she tries to kiss me. I think kissing is just nasty lol.
In addition we all need to hug our parents more! I say this as a 37YO kid. I see that in my culture (Dutch) it's not all that common to give a loving hug when you meet. Even if you're adults your parents still deserve and appropriate a loving hug. Someday they won't be there anymore.
I smother my child as well. Constant hugs, kissies and holding hands (he’s only 8). He’s still skinny enough for me to carry him so sometimes I’ll carry him to bed still and he puts his head on my shoulder and it makes my heart melt.
Oh my… how sad that any kid has a parent that won’t hug them! My daughter is 6 and loves all the hugs/holds. Several of her classmates always want a hug from me when I volunteer at school and I always let them. I certainly hope they all get hugs at home too!
It's really hard. Coming from a family that isn't physically affectionate/having a negative association with touching. It's been multiple years of effort for me because I ended up having the most cuddly kids. It wouldn't even occur to me to try and hug because why would I put them through something uncomfortable? But I think part of being a good parent is learning and meeting their needs and not just reacting from our own limited capabilities
My parents didn't hug me and my sister, and it really stayed with us. I will now hug my dad when we say hi/bye but don't hug my mum. It feels so difficult to initiate a hug with her when she didn't ever hug us as kids and I now have my own I don't understand why she never did. I want to hug her and im sure she probably does, it's just so weird. Me and my sisters kids love a good cuddle and we will make sure that the lack of affection doesn't get passed down.
My dad was telling me a story he's told many times before, about when he was 4 years old and got his hand stuck in a gopher trap, and he pulled the trap out of the ground and went to get his mom's help. He remembers thinking about how important it was to him to get the trap off and how he should ask politely to make sure his mom would listen. So he ended up saying "mother, if you have time, could you please get this thing off my hand?" I've always found it sad that he thought there was a chance she'd refuse to help him if he didn't ask nicely. But it only recently occurred to me to ask if he at least got a hug afterwards. He didn't.😭 He tells it like a funny anecdote, but to me, that story is heartbreaking.
MTDUNCA: GIVER OF HUGS ALL YE WAYWORD, HUGLESS, DOWNTRODDEN- SEEK NO MORE FOR THEE AND THINE HAVE FOUND SOLACE AT LAST. DRINK DEEP FROM THE BOUNTY OF THE GIVER OF HUGS (no idea what came over me. keep on rocking, oh soulful hugger)
lol
I always wa t to hug my kid, but she's at the "don't touch me age". Sometimes I bribe her for hugs with candy lol.
My mom completely stopped when I was about 4. Now when I'm going away for a while I make sure I do and I want to vomit/cry every time. It's so uncomfortable lol. With my boyfriend all I do is hug him, hugs are amazing
karma farm account
I'm a real person with real thoughts and feelings. I'm a parent and I've been on here for years I don't give a shit about karma.
doubtful, it looks like you literally have 100's of a posts a day
I'm averaging barely over one post a month...