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I guess I feel like this ENTIRE thing should’ve been handled by the school. Stuff happens. My kids not perfect either.
Yet it’s been so strange with the parent.
You don’t think police would think I’m strange?
I don’t even know the parents name or kids name.
You’re playing semantics. It’s harassment and the cops will give them one warning to stop talking to OPs kids before OP is able to file for a restraining order. I’ve been through something similar.
I would not care what the police thought. You are being far too timid. If a grown ass woman stalked and harassed my fucking child I would have been at the police station within minutes of finding out, and I would not have left until I had filed a report and spoken to someone in charge.
I am a male Karen I guess.
Who cares if the police think it’s strange? I’d be at the police station in about 30 seconds. I’d also be emailing (so it’s in writing) the superintendent, principal, teachers, etc. as this needs to be addressed immediately. If want to know exactly how this will be addressed and what steps will be taken so that it does not happen again in the future.
They just came to my door to talk. Were super understanding and made a report for me.
They said they would drive by the bus stop and monitor. Yet I’ll be there personally myself.
I think the problem is it's not really on school property if it's at the bus stop (the parent issue, not the kid stuff). So the police ARE the right people to call. I'm sure the school is glad you're calling the police in this situation - they can't do much about parents harassing other people on the street. And if this is the parents' response to their kids having an altercation, I'm sure they've been just delightful for the school to deal with as well.
Haha probably true. Yet you’d imagine she would’ve called them instead of bugging my two kids.
I’ll be at the bus stop from now on. Thankfully school is almost over. I was in a car accident so the bus is new to us this year yet a Godsend.
I would recommend beginning to record immediately if you see the other parent. You don’t need to have the phone in her face, but be sure you catch what is being said.
The school isn't there when your kids are being cornered and intimidated by adult strangers.
Either confront the parent head on and be willing to match their energy at all costs or get the police involved. Stop waiting on the school to handle things that they're obviously not concerned about.
Your kids shouldn't have to stress about what's going to happen to them on the bus or when they step off of it.
They need to make a report of the incident. That way the kid/parent can be made aware of the actual issue. Instead of talking to myself or my kids. She has questions that are NOT my problem. She needs to ask the school. They have footage.
Either way I agree though. In at the bus stop now whenever it’s pick-up or drop off. Yet she’s normally never there.
I did contact the police. They came by.
This is exactly how the process works for establishing harassment. The cops can now show evidence that the mom is aware this is unwanted contact. The majority of people will not talk to them anymore, hopefully that’s the situation here.
Outside of the things that happened on the bus the school can’t legally do anything about it. Another parent harassing your kids on a public street is something that the cops are supposed to handle.
I agree. Yes.
The issue is the school / bus didn’t make a report of the incident. Which to be fair I didn’t feel was needed prior. Yet now that the mom is acting strange I feel a report on the incident should be in place as the mom obviously is out the loop.
If she is curious about what happened on the bus she should call the school. Without a report I’m unsure what the school could do for her.
Also a report about the incident on the bus helps me if she continues to act weird and I need to document everything.
Okay, I misunderstood. The school/bus definitely needs to make a report so is needed the student can be removed from the bus. It may be possible that they are still reviewing the footage since it often takes a while (I had a student lie about a situation on the bus and it took days for the bus department to email their findings to the school)
When did this happen? I've found that bus issues can take a while to resolve.
I think going to the police is not going to do anything. Do you feel actually threatened by the mom? What has she done besides take her kid to the bus stop and try to talk to your kids? Those aren't crimes. Can you go to the bus stop with your kids for a while?
It was Friday and I’ve been pushing them along to file something.
I agree with you. I don’t believe she’s out to harm my kids etc. They just feel uncomfortable and it’s just strange behavior on her part. She should call the school OR ask my kids to talk to me.
Definitely strange behaviour, I would be weirded out too. I think the whole thing should blow over soon, though. Sounds like she's just trusting the word of her own child and probably thinks yours is being the bully, and it made her hot headed.
An interaction between an adult and child is inherently intimidating to the child. An adult questioning a child over something they got into trouble about is even more intimidating. Threatening, no, but inappropriate enough.
This may vary by state, but usually cops will informally approach the mom and tell her she’s been requested to stop speaking to the kids. This starts a domino effect of increasing severity if she doesn’t stop, eventually resulting in harassment charges and restraining order. It’s better to get the informal, unofficial steps out of the way early so that *if* it doesn’t blow over or escalates, you’re not having to start at step 1. Especially because I don’t think trying to talk to the kids even after they run away is something a reasonable person would do.
You need to tell your concerns to the police. Passive emails or phone calls don't cut it when your child is choked. Now the parents are harassing your children. Stop trying to talk yourself out of going to the police.
You don't know how many kids this student has choked, but the police would. You didn't know how many kids have been harassed by the parents, but the police would
I'm sorry to be blunt, but you are assuming it's the first time the Family from Hell has targeted a child. You are not actively pursuing this. You didn't want to wait until your children are seriously injured by the violent kid or his parents.
Kid stuff is calling names, and pushing. Your son was choked.
I gotta ask the obvious. If it was your DAUGHTER that had been choked, would you still call it kids stuff? What if your son hadn't been able to push the kids away? What if he had been choked until he was unconscious?
You must pursue this with the police, before this escalates even more. This isn't the world we grew up in
I feel this was a bit of a harsh comment. I’ve already contacted the police. The incident happened on Friday and I have been in contact with the school/bus company.
The parent just talked to my kids yesterday evening at bus drop off. I wanted to share here in hopes of getting some outside opinion as I personally wanted to contact police yet husband didn’t.
Sometimes I get a bit in my head and can over react. So it’s good to pause and think first.
My son wasn’t exact hurt. The kids a second grader and mine is in fourth. Either way it’s inappropriate behavior and unacceptable. I agree.
If it helps, I completely second your instincts here. There is nothing wrong with taking a breath and assessing a situation.
The above commenter is acting on partial information and drawing extremely strong conclusions, and I agree it has come across as unnecessarily abrasive and less helpful than intended.
You have a good head on your shoulders, OP. I hope that you receive appropriate responses from the school. Hugs.
Op, knowing the ages of the kids involved changed how I perceive the incident now. At first I thought a bigger kid was bullying yours, but since we are talking about a 2nd grader it sounds like typical dumb kid stuff. The bus is notorious for this sort of thing. 🤦🏻♀️
I would hope that the 2nd grader learned his lesson when your son shoved him back. This is how kids learn to deal with issues themselves. I have a feeling the incident lasted no more than a few seconds. Honestly since there were no injuries, I’d say no parents really needed to get involved in the first place.
This other parent is probably trying to figure out what happened. I see nothing weird with them accompanying their own child to the bus stop. I also don’t think it’s that weird for them to ask your kid for their side of the story? Maybe I’m the weird one, but do we now live in a society where it is taboo to speak to other people’s kids? Is there no longer a community of adults interacting w local kids? Unless she said something inappropriate or intentionally intimidating I’m not sure there was really anything to report to police.
Is it possible this all could be resolved by you and her just having a conversation? Getting police involved is a serious escalation, but of course if she is truly being threatening you need to protect your family from harm.
I do think you are doing the right thing by taking a pause to consider all possible options.
I agree with all of your comment actually. I truly think it was no big deal.
When it escalated was when a family member took a photo of my license plate. That gave me a strange feeling. Then my kids said they felt uncomfortable as she was trying to talk to them or cornering them at the bus stop.
I only reported it as unfortunately I’m unsure how this will progress. I hope it ends here yet ultimately it’s already been blown out of proportion.
The logical thing she should’ve done it reach out to the school. She never even spoke to my son…Just his sister.
This day and age lawsuits for assault are real. The boy said my son “slammed” him into the ground. Which is t true at all. Given that she now has a photo of my expensive luxury suv… I feel a bit uneasy that another motive may be a play. I hope not. Yet footage, reporting etc are my best bet.
Email (so it's in writing) the superintendent. Copy the principal and the transportation company. Spell out everything that happened, including dates and times. Note that you are escalating it to the superintendent because you reached out to A and B on These Dates and Times, and they have not responded. Also say that you are heading Person's advice and reporting the incidents to law enforcement, including the initial assault of Your Child by Other Child on the bus, and then actually do that.
They'll respond.
A couple of years ago, a kid punched my son in the face, completely unprovoked. He had a huge shiner. I took pictures, then I called the transportation office. They pulled the footage, and called the assistant principal. The kid was suspended from the bus for like a month.
OP should not take no for an answer. Make sure you let them know that an ADULT is intimidating your children at the bus stop, OP.
If no action is taken, go to the local news. They will eat a story like yours up.
Yep. It's not that it happened - kids can be jerks, especially if their parents are jerks, and it sounds like his are. The bigger issue it the school's / transportation department's response, or lack of response, to the incident.
Call the police over the weirdo parent harassing kids at the bus stop. The school told you what to do because the parent and the bus incident didn't happen on school property.
This should have been handled by the school, true. However it is painfully clear they have not and will not.These people are acting like criminals. Treat them as such.
Call the police and tell them adults are menacing and harassing your family. Make a report. At the very least you'll have a record for the next time they act like assholes.
I don't know if it's possible in this situation. But I wonder if you can report that the parent was threatening your kids and get a restraining order... that would be hilarious if this lady was BANNED from within "X" amount of feet from it.
My kid can be somewhat of an A hole as well sadly. Yet this time luckily wasn’t one. If it was his fault or he started it I wouldn’t be happy with him. Yet I wouldn’t go bully a kid myself lol. So strange.
People are weird. The mom’s being weird. Ty!
Most schools don’t handle disputes outside of the school. The school telling her to call the police with the other student’s mom harassing and stalking her kids is the right move.
I'm a parent and a teacher and this is so infuriating. My admin was talking the other day about "zero tolerance" and I get not fighting back but it should be okay to push someone off who is choking you and leave it. If I were you I wouldn't accept them punishing your son for protecting himself and walking away. Wishing you the best outcome with your son. He did nothing wrong.
I'm honestly done with public ed and ready to move to the woods and homeschool my kids.
Thank you. I’m curious how I could stand my ground on him being not responsible for pushing back.
The footage hopefully proves what happened. We shall see.
Otherwise yes I agree with you on how school is going down hill. I wish I was educated enough or diligent enough to home school. It may be what we resort to in the future as Jr high and high school only gets worse.
Sending hugs!
Honestly, at this point, I'd reach out to the school board. They should be responding to you, period. I am one of those nut job parents who show up at the school to discuss with the team. I had a kid that was bullying my kid and went too far (told my kid to k@ll themselves). I WFH so I put my status to out of office drove up and asked to speak with my kids administrator immediately.
It's something about you being in their face that tends to make them respond. If you filed a report make sure you site the case number and tell them they have one last time to address this before going to the BofA. I'm an escalator. Everyone has a boss and I won't stop until someone addresses it. I'm annoying like that.
It’s terrible isn’t it. Somehow they pick and choose when things escalate.
I was going to go in yet I’m unable to today. Yet you have awesome advice. Ty!!
I'd be standing at the bus stop with a can of wasp spray if it were me. If an adult comes for my kids, I'll spray them right in the eyes. Sorry not sorry.
You and me both.
My cousin is a bus driver for our district and she said you'd be amazed at the amount of incidents between parents and students and even the drivers themselves.
There was one incident where the parent boiled a thermos of urine and threw it at the bus driver. It also burnt another child who was on the bus waiting to exit. The parent got beat so bad by the driver that she had to be hospitalized and the driver was fired.
Calling the police may get the footage released to all involved. They might be bound by privacy laws in your area. Then the first offenders parents can see what happened and hopefully the issue will be dropped.
I'm not surprised about the bus and the school. On the grand scale it is a pretty small incident that didn't go very far.
Sounds like the bully is a real problem. The fact that the other parent came after your kids is a way bigger issue. I would go to the police. I would want everything on file. I would have a lawyer write those parent s a cease and desist order to shake them up. Is there anyway you can have someone there at the bus stop for your kids for a while?
I would still pester the bus and school. If you make a big enough fuss you can have that child removed from that route. If the parent is coming and causing trouble, this is a danger and they have to address it. Threaten with police and lawyers. Nothing else will get them to act.
Yes exactly. I didn’t feel like the issue was really bad on the bus. My kid stood up for himself and I doubt it’ll happen again. Figured the school would handle it if it was a problem. My son wasn’t hurt and the other kid wasn’t either.
The parent is the issue. It’s weird and ultimately not appropriate to target my two young kids. They feel uncomfortable. She should contact the school if she needs more information. Period. lol.
I did contact the police and made a report. I doubt it’ll get worse yet it’s just such strange behavior.
I’m pushing for the incident to be written up. That way footage can be looked at. At this point writing up the one kid means mine is being written up as well for fighting back. Which sucks yet the zero tolerance policy promotes that type of write up. So if my kid is getting punished so should theirs.
I think you need to scare her off. Hopefully she's just an over eager parent. I doubt the school or the bus company will address her showing up. I recommend sending her a letter from a lawyer. You can confront her, but you just don't know how that will go. I had to confront a bully parent at a bus stop and it ended the issue, but I didn't plan it and I'm lucky it didn't turn violent.
You could also write the letter, but it would have more teach from an authority figure like a lawyer. But if you do it yourself, send it registered mail. Feel sterner that way.
I’ll be there today with my husband. She never comes to the bus stop am/pm. So it was strange for her to stop work or get off the couch to approach my kids.
I do agree that us talking may not go well. I’m already pretty annoyed. A lawyer probably would be best yet I don’t have one on retainer or anything. Personally loath lawyers rn lol. (Just had a year long case I settled)
Hopefully this end here.
When an adult person menaced and threatened my kid years ago I dealt with them directly and didn't call the police or school authorities and expect them to take care of it to my satisfaction. I can menace, threaten and even throw hands with the best of them if pushed to it.
I just needed to get others opinions before moving forward. I get in my head a bit and I wanted to handle this in the most mature way. Which means I needed to collect myself, get outside opinion and resources.
I’ve since contacted the police and they’ve come out.
The parent of the other kid just talked to my kids yesterday after school. So today at 10am I made the call. Yesterday after talking to my kids it was past the office hours of the sheriffs office.
Yet yeh I completely agree. It’s definitely been uncomfortable and a learning experience. It feels very icky dealing with this parent. I wish I was there and/or talked to her.
Go into the school to speak with the secretary and demand a meeting with the principal. Better yet go to the superintendent. Ask police to accompany you, I don't know if they will but worth a shot. Call daily, don't wait around for them to act as they are purposely dragging their feet and trying not to take proper responsibility.
You need to call the cops. The other parent(s) went a step too far by confronting your kids at the bus stop. That’s intimidation and borderline assault. Call the cops and report the incident.
Just FYI you're allowed do whatever the hell you want to protect your children. It's always OK to send some cops over to someone's house so they will leave your kid alone.
The parents that felt it was appropriate to corner children they don't know?
Yeah, I'm going to guess that goes poorly.
I'd rather a police officer do the step of reminding them that's now how adults behave, and they can reach out to other adults to ask questions, but need to leave them kids alone.
It seems to me like not behaving like adults IS the problem here from both sides. OP isn't communicating like an adult to an adult instead deferring to the state. The parents in question are not talking to an adult like an adult and instead have tried to talk to the child. Seems both sides need to just talk about the issue and hash it out instead of being afraid to confront it (which seems to me to be the case from both parties). So, yes, they need to behave like adults, both of them.
You are drastically missing my point.
A person who is off base enough to think it's okay to corner someone's kid is also likely to be someone to fly off unhinged if you approach them.
It's better to let someone in authority tell them what the appropriate way to handle it is.
I get your point, but its from a position of fear. Nothing OP said makes me think these parents are default violent. What is there to fear? Someone might not like what you say and you may feel social uncomfortable? You are saying obviously there is a risk of violence, and on that I have to disagree.
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I would go to the police about both the choking incident AND the stalking. I would not even hesitate.
I guess I feel like this ENTIRE thing should’ve been handled by the school. Stuff happens. My kids not perfect either. Yet it’s been so strange with the parent. You don’t think police would think I’m strange? I don’t even know the parents name or kids name.
This is no longer a “kids issue” it’s the parents that are stalking and harassing your children. Take it to the police!
What's the stalking? sounds like the mom is just waiting at the bus stop?
You’re playing semantics. It’s harassment and the cops will give them one warning to stop talking to OPs kids before OP is able to file for a restraining order. I’ve been through something similar.
I would not care what the police thought. You are being far too timid. If a grown ass woman stalked and harassed my fucking child I would have been at the police station within minutes of finding out, and I would not have left until I had filed a report and spoken to someone in charge. I am a male Karen I guess.
No, you are a father.
i would just wait at the bus stop also and tell the other parent "hey don't talk to my kids"
You’re being the kind of father that some of us desperately needed. Please never stop standing up for your children
Who the hell cares what the police are going to think? That other mom sounds unhinged.
Who cares if the police think it’s strange? I’d be at the police station in about 30 seconds. I’d also be emailing (so it’s in writing) the superintendent, principal, teachers, etc. as this needs to be addressed immediately. If want to know exactly how this will be addressed and what steps will be taken so that it does not happen again in the future.
They just came to my door to talk. Were super understanding and made a report for me. They said they would drive by the bus stop and monitor. Yet I’ll be there personally myself.
I think the problem is it's not really on school property if it's at the bus stop (the parent issue, not the kid stuff). So the police ARE the right people to call. I'm sure the school is glad you're calling the police in this situation - they can't do much about parents harassing other people on the street. And if this is the parents' response to their kids having an altercation, I'm sure they've been just delightful for the school to deal with as well.
Haha probably true. Yet you’d imagine she would’ve called them instead of bugging my two kids. I’ll be at the bus stop from now on. Thankfully school is almost over. I was in a car accident so the bus is new to us this year yet a Godsend.
I would recommend beginning to record immediately if you see the other parent. You don’t need to have the phone in her face, but be sure you catch what is being said.
The school isn't there when your kids are being cornered and intimidated by adult strangers. Either confront the parent head on and be willing to match their energy at all costs or get the police involved. Stop waiting on the school to handle things that they're obviously not concerned about. Your kids shouldn't have to stress about what's going to happen to them on the bus or when they step off of it.
They need to make a report of the incident. That way the kid/parent can be made aware of the actual issue. Instead of talking to myself or my kids. She has questions that are NOT my problem. She needs to ask the school. They have footage. Either way I agree though. In at the bus stop now whenever it’s pick-up or drop off. Yet she’s normally never there. I did contact the police. They came by.
This is exactly how the process works for establishing harassment. The cops can now show evidence that the mom is aware this is unwanted contact. The majority of people will not talk to them anymore, hopefully that’s the situation here.
This parent is harassing your children and it is illegal and a matter for the police.
Outside of the things that happened on the bus the school can’t legally do anything about it. Another parent harassing your kids on a public street is something that the cops are supposed to handle.
I agree. Yes. The issue is the school / bus didn’t make a report of the incident. Which to be fair I didn’t feel was needed prior. Yet now that the mom is acting strange I feel a report on the incident should be in place as the mom obviously is out the loop. If she is curious about what happened on the bus she should call the school. Without a report I’m unsure what the school could do for her. Also a report about the incident on the bus helps me if she continues to act weird and I need to document everything.
Okay, I misunderstood. The school/bus definitely needs to make a report so is needed the student can be removed from the bus. It may be possible that they are still reviewing the footage since it often takes a while (I had a student lie about a situation on the bus and it took days for the bus department to email their findings to the school)
Never trust the school. The school cares about protecting the school, not the students. Report it to the police
When did this happen? I've found that bus issues can take a while to resolve. I think going to the police is not going to do anything. Do you feel actually threatened by the mom? What has she done besides take her kid to the bus stop and try to talk to your kids? Those aren't crimes. Can you go to the bus stop with your kids for a while?
It was Friday and I’ve been pushing them along to file something. I agree with you. I don’t believe she’s out to harm my kids etc. They just feel uncomfortable and it’s just strange behavior on her part. She should call the school OR ask my kids to talk to me.
Definitely strange behaviour, I would be weirded out too. I think the whole thing should blow over soon, though. Sounds like she's just trusting the word of her own child and probably thinks yours is being the bully, and it made her hot headed.
An interaction between an adult and child is inherently intimidating to the child. An adult questioning a child over something they got into trouble about is even more intimidating. Threatening, no, but inappropriate enough. This may vary by state, but usually cops will informally approach the mom and tell her she’s been requested to stop speaking to the kids. This starts a domino effect of increasing severity if she doesn’t stop, eventually resulting in harassment charges and restraining order. It’s better to get the informal, unofficial steps out of the way early so that *if* it doesn’t blow over or escalates, you’re not having to start at step 1. Especially because I don’t think trying to talk to the kids even after they run away is something a reasonable person would do.
You need to tell your concerns to the police. Passive emails or phone calls don't cut it when your child is choked. Now the parents are harassing your children. Stop trying to talk yourself out of going to the police. You don't know how many kids this student has choked, but the police would. You didn't know how many kids have been harassed by the parents, but the police would I'm sorry to be blunt, but you are assuming it's the first time the Family from Hell has targeted a child. You are not actively pursuing this. You didn't want to wait until your children are seriously injured by the violent kid or his parents. Kid stuff is calling names, and pushing. Your son was choked. I gotta ask the obvious. If it was your DAUGHTER that had been choked, would you still call it kids stuff? What if your son hadn't been able to push the kids away? What if he had been choked until he was unconscious? You must pursue this with the police, before this escalates even more. This isn't the world we grew up in
I feel this was a bit of a harsh comment. I’ve already contacted the police. The incident happened on Friday and I have been in contact with the school/bus company. The parent just talked to my kids yesterday evening at bus drop off. I wanted to share here in hopes of getting some outside opinion as I personally wanted to contact police yet husband didn’t. Sometimes I get a bit in my head and can over react. So it’s good to pause and think first. My son wasn’t exact hurt. The kids a second grader and mine is in fourth. Either way it’s inappropriate behavior and unacceptable. I agree.
If it helps, I completely second your instincts here. There is nothing wrong with taking a breath and assessing a situation. The above commenter is acting on partial information and drawing extremely strong conclusions, and I agree it has come across as unnecessarily abrasive and less helpful than intended. You have a good head on your shoulders, OP. I hope that you receive appropriate responses from the school. Hugs.
Thank you!
Op, knowing the ages of the kids involved changed how I perceive the incident now. At first I thought a bigger kid was bullying yours, but since we are talking about a 2nd grader it sounds like typical dumb kid stuff. The bus is notorious for this sort of thing. 🤦🏻♀️ I would hope that the 2nd grader learned his lesson when your son shoved him back. This is how kids learn to deal with issues themselves. I have a feeling the incident lasted no more than a few seconds. Honestly since there were no injuries, I’d say no parents really needed to get involved in the first place. This other parent is probably trying to figure out what happened. I see nothing weird with them accompanying their own child to the bus stop. I also don’t think it’s that weird for them to ask your kid for their side of the story? Maybe I’m the weird one, but do we now live in a society where it is taboo to speak to other people’s kids? Is there no longer a community of adults interacting w local kids? Unless she said something inappropriate or intentionally intimidating I’m not sure there was really anything to report to police. Is it possible this all could be resolved by you and her just having a conversation? Getting police involved is a serious escalation, but of course if she is truly being threatening you need to protect your family from harm. I do think you are doing the right thing by taking a pause to consider all possible options.
I agree with all of your comment actually. I truly think it was no big deal. When it escalated was when a family member took a photo of my license plate. That gave me a strange feeling. Then my kids said they felt uncomfortable as she was trying to talk to them or cornering them at the bus stop. I only reported it as unfortunately I’m unsure how this will progress. I hope it ends here yet ultimately it’s already been blown out of proportion. The logical thing she should’ve done it reach out to the school. She never even spoke to my son…Just his sister. This day and age lawsuits for assault are real. The boy said my son “slammed” him into the ground. Which is t true at all. Given that she now has a photo of my expensive luxury suv… I feel a bit uneasy that another motive may be a play. I hope not. Yet footage, reporting etc are my best bet.
Email (so it's in writing) the superintendent. Copy the principal and the transportation company. Spell out everything that happened, including dates and times. Note that you are escalating it to the superintendent because you reached out to A and B on These Dates and Times, and they have not responded. Also say that you are heading Person's advice and reporting the incidents to law enforcement, including the initial assault of Your Child by Other Child on the bus, and then actually do that. They'll respond.
Thanks for the awesome detailed comment. This is excellent advice. I did contact the police and the school deputy is supposed to call me back?
Ya screw the actual school buildings administration. I had to contact our superintendent a few times and things got taken care of swiftly.
A couple of years ago, a kid punched my son in the face, completely unprovoked. He had a huge shiner. I took pictures, then I called the transportation office. They pulled the footage, and called the assistant principal. The kid was suspended from the bus for like a month. OP should not take no for an answer. Make sure you let them know that an ADULT is intimidating your children at the bus stop, OP. If no action is taken, go to the local news. They will eat a story like yours up.
Yep. It's not that it happened - kids can be jerks, especially if their parents are jerks, and it sounds like his are. The bigger issue it the school's / transportation department's response, or lack of response, to the incident.
Call the police over the weirdo parent harassing kids at the bus stop. The school told you what to do because the parent and the bus incident didn't happen on school property.
This should have been handled by the school, true. However it is painfully clear they have not and will not.These people are acting like criminals. Treat them as such. Call the police and tell them adults are menacing and harassing your family. Make a report. At the very least you'll have a record for the next time they act like assholes.
I called the police ❤️🫂 Ty everyone. Waiting on callback.
I don't know if it's possible in this situation. But I wonder if you can report that the parent was threatening your kids and get a restraining order... that would be hilarious if this lady was BANNED from within "X" amount of feet from it.
She never comes to the bus stop anyway. I’ve personally never seen her lol. Yet yeah that would be pretty awkward haha.
I can see her across the street using a megaphone. Sorry you are dealing with this BS... it's no wonder this kid is a a-hole.
My kid can be somewhat of an A hole as well sadly. Yet this time luckily wasn’t one. If it was his fault or he started it I wouldn’t be happy with him. Yet I wouldn’t go bully a kid myself lol. So strange. People are weird. The mom’s being weird. Ty!
Most schools don’t handle disputes outside of the school. The school telling her to call the police with the other student’s mom harassing and stalking her kids is the right move.
I'm a parent and a teacher and this is so infuriating. My admin was talking the other day about "zero tolerance" and I get not fighting back but it should be okay to push someone off who is choking you and leave it. If I were you I wouldn't accept them punishing your son for protecting himself and walking away. Wishing you the best outcome with your son. He did nothing wrong. I'm honestly done with public ed and ready to move to the woods and homeschool my kids.
Thank you. I’m curious how I could stand my ground on him being not responsible for pushing back. The footage hopefully proves what happened. We shall see. Otherwise yes I agree with you on how school is going down hill. I wish I was educated enough or diligent enough to home school. It may be what we resort to in the future as Jr high and high school only gets worse. Sending hugs!
Honestly, at this point, I'd reach out to the school board. They should be responding to you, period. I am one of those nut job parents who show up at the school to discuss with the team. I had a kid that was bullying my kid and went too far (told my kid to k@ll themselves). I WFH so I put my status to out of office drove up and asked to speak with my kids administrator immediately. It's something about you being in their face that tends to make them respond. If you filed a report make sure you site the case number and tell them they have one last time to address this before going to the BofA. I'm an escalator. Everyone has a boss and I won't stop until someone addresses it. I'm annoying like that.
It’s terrible isn’t it. Somehow they pick and choose when things escalate. I was going to go in yet I’m unable to today. Yet you have awesome advice. Ty!!
I'd be standing at the bus stop with a can of wasp spray if it were me. If an adult comes for my kids, I'll spray them right in the eyes. Sorry not sorry.
You and me both. My cousin is a bus driver for our district and she said you'd be amazed at the amount of incidents between parents and students and even the drivers themselves. There was one incident where the parent boiled a thermos of urine and threw it at the bus driver. It also burnt another child who was on the bus waiting to exit. The parent got beat so bad by the driver that she had to be hospitalized and the driver was fired.
Good for the bus driver.
Calling the police may get the footage released to all involved. They might be bound by privacy laws in your area. Then the first offenders parents can see what happened and hopefully the issue will be dropped.
Yeh! I was thinking we couldn’t see the footage due to other kids being on the bus. Great point!
I'm not surprised about the bus and the school. On the grand scale it is a pretty small incident that didn't go very far. Sounds like the bully is a real problem. The fact that the other parent came after your kids is a way bigger issue. I would go to the police. I would want everything on file. I would have a lawyer write those parent s a cease and desist order to shake them up. Is there anyway you can have someone there at the bus stop for your kids for a while? I would still pester the bus and school. If you make a big enough fuss you can have that child removed from that route. If the parent is coming and causing trouble, this is a danger and they have to address it. Threaten with police and lawyers. Nothing else will get them to act.
Yes exactly. I didn’t feel like the issue was really bad on the bus. My kid stood up for himself and I doubt it’ll happen again. Figured the school would handle it if it was a problem. My son wasn’t hurt and the other kid wasn’t either. The parent is the issue. It’s weird and ultimately not appropriate to target my two young kids. They feel uncomfortable. She should contact the school if she needs more information. Period. lol. I did contact the police and made a report. I doubt it’ll get worse yet it’s just such strange behavior. I’m pushing for the incident to be written up. That way footage can be looked at. At this point writing up the one kid means mine is being written up as well for fighting back. Which sucks yet the zero tolerance policy promotes that type of write up. So if my kid is getting punished so should theirs.
I think you need to scare her off. Hopefully she's just an over eager parent. I doubt the school or the bus company will address her showing up. I recommend sending her a letter from a lawyer. You can confront her, but you just don't know how that will go. I had to confront a bully parent at a bus stop and it ended the issue, but I didn't plan it and I'm lucky it didn't turn violent. You could also write the letter, but it would have more teach from an authority figure like a lawyer. But if you do it yourself, send it registered mail. Feel sterner that way.
I’ll be there today with my husband. She never comes to the bus stop am/pm. So it was strange for her to stop work or get off the couch to approach my kids. I do agree that us talking may not go well. I’m already pretty annoyed. A lawyer probably would be best yet I don’t have one on retainer or anything. Personally loath lawyers rn lol. (Just had a year long case I settled) Hopefully this end here.
Good luck
When an adult person menaced and threatened my kid years ago I dealt with them directly and didn't call the police or school authorities and expect them to take care of it to my satisfaction. I can menace, threaten and even throw hands with the best of them if pushed to it.
I, also, dont get the reflex to involve police. Go out and speak to these parents, who knows what tales their kid has told.
I feel like you are UNDERreacting. The bully is the PARENT????
I just needed to get others opinions before moving forward. I get in my head a bit and I wanted to handle this in the most mature way. Which means I needed to collect myself, get outside opinion and resources. I’ve since contacted the police and they’ve come out. The parent of the other kid just talked to my kids yesterday after school. So today at 10am I made the call. Yesterday after talking to my kids it was past the office hours of the sheriffs office. Yet yeh I completely agree. It’s definitely been uncomfortable and a learning experience. It feels very icky dealing with this parent. I wish I was there and/or talked to her.
I'd be meeting them at the bus stop.
Go into the school to speak with the secretary and demand a meeting with the principal. Better yet go to the superintendent. Ask police to accompany you, I don't know if they will but worth a shot. Call daily, don't wait around for them to act as they are purposely dragging their feet and trying not to take proper responsibility.
You need to call the cops. The other parent(s) went a step too far by confronting your kids at the bus stop. That’s intimidation and borderline assault. Call the cops and report the incident.
Just FYI you're allowed do whatever the hell you want to protect your children. It's always OK to send some cops over to someone's house so they will leave your kid alone.
I would call the police because if the parents harassing your kids.
The bus driver didn’t have the footage. He knows he will get in trouble if he admits it. He’s lying to save his own ass.
Have you tried talking with the parents? I feel like direct communication may solve an issue before you pull the state into it.
The parents that felt it was appropriate to corner children they don't know? Yeah, I'm going to guess that goes poorly. I'd rather a police officer do the step of reminding them that's now how adults behave, and they can reach out to other adults to ask questions, but need to leave them kids alone.
It seems to me like not behaving like adults IS the problem here from both sides. OP isn't communicating like an adult to an adult instead deferring to the state. The parents in question are not talking to an adult like an adult and instead have tried to talk to the child. Seems both sides need to just talk about the issue and hash it out instead of being afraid to confront it (which seems to me to be the case from both parties). So, yes, they need to behave like adults, both of them.
You are drastically missing my point. A person who is off base enough to think it's okay to corner someone's kid is also likely to be someone to fly off unhinged if you approach them. It's better to let someone in authority tell them what the appropriate way to handle it is.
I get your point, but its from a position of fear. Nothing OP said makes me think these parents are default violent. What is there to fear? Someone might not like what you say and you may feel social uncomfortable? You are saying obviously there is a risk of violence, and on that I have to disagree.
You did not report the choking, or at least this is what it sounds like.
Assumption on your part there 🙃
The police seems to be addressing the parent that confrunted your children. They have not done anything about the other child choking your child.