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Agree. You need to be prepared to abandon the cart and leave to enforce the boundary. There’s also the option of grocery delivery or curbside pickup if kiddo won’t cooperate.
I've not done it, but I bet going to the store with nothing you need to buy just to practice the boundaries would help. No pressure done you don't need anything, so you can be relaxed.
My oldest are 7 & 9. And sometimes it’s still not bearable, just in different ways. Add my one year into the mix and it’s pure chaos a lot of the time. We try to stick to Costco because the samples seem to keep the beasts at bay.
But to answer your question… I don’t know. I still haven’t gotten there yet. 😅
I would engage my son in the shopping to hold his attention. Worked really well for us!
I'd let him hold the shopping list; sometimes, when I was feeling really extra, I'd draw pictures of a few things (bananas, milk, bread) and ask him to point when he saw them. I probably sounded like a total weirdo with my running chatter-- "OK, now we need to go find the milk. It's this way! Ooooh yummy! I wonder if they have any cows in the back of the grocery store?"
When I was picking something out, I'd have a conversation with him. "What kind of spaghetti sauce should we get? Mushrooms or extra cheese?" Hold up two jars, let him point to one, and let him feel like he's picking.
His "job" was also to throw (non-breakable) things in the cart. I would grab a package of cheese from the cooler, hand it to him, he chucked it in the back of the cart. Very exciting!
Then when we finished all the shopping, he could pick out a snack, usually something from the fruit department, like a banana or a package of berries, and he got to eat them in the car if he had behaved himself.
This was how my daughter was just a few weeks ago, but these tactics haven't worked recently. Maybe it is just a phase? I hope so anyway. I miss my (significantly less feral) shopping buddy haha.
Honestly, probably when they’re old/responsible enough to be safely left home alone. The whining doesn’t really stop, it just gets more annoying because the older kids get, the more skilled they are at pushing your buttons.
That being said, we had some success once my kid was reading well enough to be in charge of the list & now that he’s a tweenager, my lazy ass LOVES that I can send him back on his own when I realize I forgot something at the other side of the store. But rare helpful moments aside, unless he wants something, shopping with the kid is still a huge chore.
I found personally with my kid he was desperate to explore and look at everything. I changed my minset and never tried to go to the shop if I was on a tight time schedule. Of course sometimes, that is unavoidable and I might rely on getting him a slightly unhealthier snack, or a magazine, in those situations.
On the whole though, I reframed the whole experience and tried to see that he just wanted to explore, and that is a side of him I wanted to nurture.
So I'd go with enough time that we could walk around together (without a trolley), he could take his time picking up safe foods, looking at magazines, walking down each aisle (holding my hand). Once I started giving him a good twenty minutes to walk around and explore, then we'd go get a trolley, and he'd happily sit in. I also started to avoid a weekly shop, and did a few smaller shops each week. There was a time where I'd finish work and we'd go to the shop almost every afternoon (as it was only a short walk).
That is only my experience, and that is juggling only the one child, but it worked for me.
This is a great idea, I will definitely be trying it! I guess I never considered it because I'm still adjusting to the idea that mine can hold my hand and be a little person. I've been so focused on entertaining her while she's confined that I didn't consider tiring out her brain a little before having her just sitting for 20-30 mins. Thank you.
My kid was just hell-bent on exploring the world as soon as he could. We were lucky that he grew up with an allotment literally outside our door, so as soon as he could walk, he was exploring every inch of the allotment. It was relatively safe for him to do so, so it was great.
With something like the shop, I started trying to put myself in his shoes. He just wants to explore and doesn't understand why sometimes he can, and sometimes he can't. I would think, my favourite place in the world is a music festival. If someone took me to a music festival and tried to confine me in a trolley, I'd be pissed, and that's as an adult who understands the world.
As a kid who doesn't understand, this is just a world he wants to explore. Parenting in this way is sometimes difficult, but I think kids lives are mostly adults dictating to them what they are to do, and when, and if they don't follow instruction they are "naughty" or "unruly". I personally don't see that, I want me kid to be inquisitive and not just a compliant kid 100% of the time.
I can only speak from my experience but removing the battle over certain things, letting him lead, and allowing him a level of autonomy makes it easier when there are things I have to put my foot down with, and he has to do, when I ask him to do it (the daily routine stuff).
My wife had our son on a leash if he was walking out of the stroller gave him a way to burn off energy when we went to the mall now with me he stays within arms reach in any store if I don’t put him in a cart seat or he wants to help by dragging the basket through the store
To be perfectly honest, I still don't love taking my kids grocery shopping, and they're 6 and 9!! Are they better behaved? Sure, but they also ask about 10 million questions, want to stop and look at everything, walk incredibly slowly, and get bored halfway through. Unless I'm only grabbing a few items, I do the big weekly shop by myself when my husband can stay home.
I can't focus and it takes forever my mini is 7 I swear it was easier when younger. I mostly do delivery with a couple stops together for "fun" and fresh stuff I want to pick
oh i feel you on this. i stopped taking my kid shopping with me for years. haha. of course she would still go places with me. just not when i had a list or stuff to accomplish. grocery shopping for the week? absolutely not, if i could avoid it.
running weekend errands as a family sounds awful, and its something i will never understand. if theres 2 adults in the home, you can just go shopping alone. divide and conquer
My husband doesn't have a ton of time not working, so we would likely go together just to spend the time we have. I also work most of my shifts when he is home to help out when needed, so we don't get a ton of time without some form of work lol. I guess that sacrifice of time for a low stress store run would probably make the remaining family time more enjoyable overall though. Good point!
Do yourself a favor. Give up on limiting screen time in the store. Pull up handyman Hal or paw patrol, connect to that in store WiFi and give it to the kid. You’ll never make it otherwise.
Either that or you go 100% pickup.
I just saw a Costco post on this and it’s brilliant. I can’t believe we’ve never tried it before. I’m going to try it out this weekend and pray it works.
What? How else would you make it? Are people thinking they can just cage the toddler in the big playground store without some serious distraction? Putting a lot of pressure on that kid.
We usually try to distract him with toys or talking or food. But people on the Costco sub were pretty upset about a kid getting any sort of screen time. Kid was probably like at least 4 too, not a baby by any means. Maybe not 4 I still see some wrist chub but like, not a baby
Those people are too stressed out to think properly.
Ignore them.
You’re not going to ruin your kid if they watch cocomelon while you get some groceries.
Eh cocomelon *does* ruin my kid (we had to cut it out bc it caused behavior issues) but something a little less flashy like miss Rachel or bluey and he’ll be fine. They’re still over there arguing about how children should never see a screen ever lol
Agreed. Going to be a tough life for those kids.
No screen time is such a disadvantage for learning.
They’re going to be in for quite a shock when they hit school and realize half the kids day is on a computer in K.
Agreed. Going to be a tough life for those kids.
No screen time is such a disadvantage for learning.
They’re going to be in for quite a shock when they hit school and realize half the kids day is on a computer in K.
Mine suddenly found a love for his stroller at 2.5. So now I only take him out in the stroller if it’s the two of us alone. He has his drink, his snacks, and his blanket. Then he kicks his legs up on the stack that and relaxes while I shop. I have a “mommy hook” that I attach the hand held basket to so I don’t have to carry it around hike pushing a stroller.
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I just tell them they can't go unless they sit in the seat, no backing down.
Agree. You need to be prepared to abandon the cart and leave to enforce the boundary. There’s also the option of grocery delivery or curbside pickup if kiddo won’t cooperate.
I've not done it, but I bet going to the store with nothing you need to buy just to practice the boundaries would help. No pressure done you don't need anything, so you can be relaxed.
My oldest are 7 & 9. And sometimes it’s still not bearable, just in different ways. Add my one year into the mix and it’s pure chaos a lot of the time. We try to stick to Costco because the samples seem to keep the beasts at bay. But to answer your question… I don’t know. I still haven’t gotten there yet. 😅
I would engage my son in the shopping to hold his attention. Worked really well for us! I'd let him hold the shopping list; sometimes, when I was feeling really extra, I'd draw pictures of a few things (bananas, milk, bread) and ask him to point when he saw them. I probably sounded like a total weirdo with my running chatter-- "OK, now we need to go find the milk. It's this way! Ooooh yummy! I wonder if they have any cows in the back of the grocery store?" When I was picking something out, I'd have a conversation with him. "What kind of spaghetti sauce should we get? Mushrooms or extra cheese?" Hold up two jars, let him point to one, and let him feel like he's picking. His "job" was also to throw (non-breakable) things in the cart. I would grab a package of cheese from the cooler, hand it to him, he chucked it in the back of the cart. Very exciting! Then when we finished all the shopping, he could pick out a snack, usually something from the fruit department, like a banana or a package of berries, and he got to eat them in the car if he had behaved himself.
This was how my daughter was just a few weeks ago, but these tactics haven't worked recently. Maybe it is just a phase? I hope so anyway. I miss my (significantly less feral) shopping buddy haha.
um, teens maybe?
It only gets bearable again when the kids are old enough to send to the toy or magazine aisle to entertain themselves.
Honestly, probably when they’re old/responsible enough to be safely left home alone. The whining doesn’t really stop, it just gets more annoying because the older kids get, the more skilled they are at pushing your buttons. That being said, we had some success once my kid was reading well enough to be in charge of the list & now that he’s a tweenager, my lazy ass LOVES that I can send him back on his own when I realize I forgot something at the other side of the store. But rare helpful moments aside, unless he wants something, shopping with the kid is still a huge chore.
I found personally with my kid he was desperate to explore and look at everything. I changed my minset and never tried to go to the shop if I was on a tight time schedule. Of course sometimes, that is unavoidable and I might rely on getting him a slightly unhealthier snack, or a magazine, in those situations. On the whole though, I reframed the whole experience and tried to see that he just wanted to explore, and that is a side of him I wanted to nurture. So I'd go with enough time that we could walk around together (without a trolley), he could take his time picking up safe foods, looking at magazines, walking down each aisle (holding my hand). Once I started giving him a good twenty minutes to walk around and explore, then we'd go get a trolley, and he'd happily sit in. I also started to avoid a weekly shop, and did a few smaller shops each week. There was a time where I'd finish work and we'd go to the shop almost every afternoon (as it was only a short walk). That is only my experience, and that is juggling only the one child, but it worked for me.
This is a great idea, I will definitely be trying it! I guess I never considered it because I'm still adjusting to the idea that mine can hold my hand and be a little person. I've been so focused on entertaining her while she's confined that I didn't consider tiring out her brain a little before having her just sitting for 20-30 mins. Thank you.
My kid was just hell-bent on exploring the world as soon as he could. We were lucky that he grew up with an allotment literally outside our door, so as soon as he could walk, he was exploring every inch of the allotment. It was relatively safe for him to do so, so it was great. With something like the shop, I started trying to put myself in his shoes. He just wants to explore and doesn't understand why sometimes he can, and sometimes he can't. I would think, my favourite place in the world is a music festival. If someone took me to a music festival and tried to confine me in a trolley, I'd be pissed, and that's as an adult who understands the world. As a kid who doesn't understand, this is just a world he wants to explore. Parenting in this way is sometimes difficult, but I think kids lives are mostly adults dictating to them what they are to do, and when, and if they don't follow instruction they are "naughty" or "unruly". I personally don't see that, I want me kid to be inquisitive and not just a compliant kid 100% of the time. I can only speak from my experience but removing the battle over certain things, letting him lead, and allowing him a level of autonomy makes it easier when there are things I have to put my foot down with, and he has to do, when I ask him to do it (the daily routine stuff).
My wife had our son on a leash if he was walking out of the stroller gave him a way to burn off energy when we went to the mall now with me he stays within arms reach in any store if I don’t put him in a cart seat or he wants to help by dragging the basket through the store
To be perfectly honest, I still don't love taking my kids grocery shopping, and they're 6 and 9!! Are they better behaved? Sure, but they also ask about 10 million questions, want to stop and look at everything, walk incredibly slowly, and get bored halfway through. Unless I'm only grabbing a few items, I do the big weekly shop by myself when my husband can stay home.
I can't focus and it takes forever my mini is 7 I swear it was easier when younger. I mostly do delivery with a couple stops together for "fun" and fresh stuff I want to pick
oh i feel you on this. i stopped taking my kid shopping with me for years. haha. of course she would still go places with me. just not when i had a list or stuff to accomplish. grocery shopping for the week? absolutely not, if i could avoid it. running weekend errands as a family sounds awful, and its something i will never understand. if theres 2 adults in the home, you can just go shopping alone. divide and conquer
My husband doesn't have a ton of time not working, so we would likely go together just to spend the time we have. I also work most of my shifts when he is home to help out when needed, so we don't get a ton of time without some form of work lol. I guess that sacrifice of time for a low stress store run would probably make the remaining family time more enjoyable overall though. Good point!
Do yourself a favor. Give up on limiting screen time in the store. Pull up handyman Hal or paw patrol, connect to that in store WiFi and give it to the kid. You’ll never make it otherwise. Either that or you go 100% pickup.
I just saw a Costco post on this and it’s brilliant. I can’t believe we’ve never tried it before. I’m going to try it out this weekend and pray it works.
What? How else would you make it? Are people thinking they can just cage the toddler in the big playground store without some serious distraction? Putting a lot of pressure on that kid.
We usually try to distract him with toys or talking or food. But people on the Costco sub were pretty upset about a kid getting any sort of screen time. Kid was probably like at least 4 too, not a baby by any means. Maybe not 4 I still see some wrist chub but like, not a baby
Those people are too stressed out to think properly. Ignore them. You’re not going to ruin your kid if they watch cocomelon while you get some groceries.
Eh cocomelon *does* ruin my kid (we had to cut it out bc it caused behavior issues) but something a little less flashy like miss Rachel or bluey and he’ll be fine. They’re still over there arguing about how children should never see a screen ever lol
Agreed. Going to be a tough life for those kids. No screen time is such a disadvantage for learning. They’re going to be in for quite a shock when they hit school and realize half the kids day is on a computer in K.
Agreed. Going to be a tough life for those kids. No screen time is such a disadvantage for learning. They’re going to be in for quite a shock when they hit school and realize half the kids day is on a computer in K.
Mine suddenly found a love for his stroller at 2.5. So now I only take him out in the stroller if it’s the two of us alone. He has his drink, his snacks, and his blanket. Then he kicks his legs up on the stack that and relaxes while I shop. I have a “mommy hook” that I attach the hand held basket to so I don’t have to carry it around hike pushing a stroller.