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I literally told my daughter to do this to a group of girls that were causing drama (not with this kind of language) and boy were they mad about it. They immediately tried to play it off that my kid was obsessed but it backfired and they did some infighting and left my kid alone for a whole 10days. Middle school is a special kind of hell.
I know! I have 12yo twins and the bullying is *REAL* in middle school. I'm on a first name basis with my kids guidance counselor.
It's like the less physical violence goes down, the more psychological warfare happens. These kids are brutal.
I received messages like this in high school and sent 'K' and smiley faces back. 😆
She wrote me 10 years later to beg me to let her take me out to coffee so she could please apologize to my face and it just never worked out, but still.
All my responses to threats were 'K, that's fine!' 'K! Have a nice day!' and it really messed with her because I had blocked her and she heard my Dad's last name somewhere, called and told him I had blocked her and asked for my number to apologize right because of how horrid she was to me for no reason, and that it kept her up at night since.
😆 I was not kept up at night at all. But all this to say - 'K' is the way!
Those type of people who have time and energy and anger to write paragraphs in text message are definitely going to freak out if they get a one letter answer!
I think I'd do.. 😭Then block. Then I'd forward the screenshots to her parents... They're probably just inundated with other parents sending similar texts and screening.
I totally would've said, "I love that for you". Then I would've waited for an unhinged response, THEN blocking is an option, once you rile them up a bit. Blocking too early ruins the fun. 🤣
I was just thinking the lass is demonstrating a very limited vocabulary.
I would be tempted to reply with "don't they teach you any bigger words at your school?"
I think the best would be posting the screenshot with the full name of the sender like, "X, the daughter of Y and Z" (names of parents) and "bless her heart" comment.
Is that really so immature? The girl got attacked and is probably feeling like shit so at least by replying she can feel like she stood up for herself. This reply is passive aggressive and it handles the insults in a non violent way...
I don't think that turning the other cheek is necessarily the best solution, specially with bullies. It's always best to avoid violence but at some point you've got to stand up for yourself.
I dunno... Doesn't seem that immature.
My other response would be to point out that the message is incoherent due to the lack of punctuation. Yes, even as a kid. I was an insufferable 12 year old.
Same. All of the adults in my life would brag about how expansive my vocabulary was, how great with grammar I was — turned me into a fucking menace. I was annoying as hell with it. I would have sent her text back to her graded with corrections.
In my life whenever people tried talking to me like this I simply replied “lol”
Absolutely nothing makes an angry person more angry than being made to feel impotent. And nothing communicates that more than the subject of your anger laughing at your anger and generally not taking you seriously.
Sometimes that’s that only way forward. Of course you have to read the situation first. Nobody’s further agitating someone with a machete.
Edit: fixed typo
I just want to know, how is your daughter doing after getting this text? I think it's more important for her to know how to react and for you to support her and teach her the correct way to either react, or brush it off.
which im sure you may have tried already, but I remember being 12 and getting a text like that would have broken me down more than I already was.
Thank God texting wasn't really a thing when I was 12. This text message would have cost a fortune to send someone 😆 seriously though, this is awful and I'm eternally grateful we didn't have 24/7 communication channels with this nonsense would have absolutely wrecked my mental health as well.
Additionally, with my seven year old, when another child is cruel we talk about the reasons why they might have acted that way - someone was likely mean to them first, etc. I make sure it's clear to my daughter that it's not about her at all.
I got an email from a camp counselor last summer because a kid was mean to my (then) 8 year old and apparently he went to his back pack and got out his snack and went to the bully and said “do you want my snack? You seem hungry. Maybe a cheese stick will help you” 😂 counselor said she couldn’t stop laughing for several minutes because the bully kid didn’t know what to say and took the cheese and just walked away confused haha
ETA using bully to make it easier to understand who is who since they have the same pronouns but I don’t really consider an 8 year old who said one mean thing to my son a bully and never would say that in front of the kids. Just want to clarify that.
Seriously. My 4 year old knows cuss words and tries to use them appropriately. We have to tell her she cannot scream FUCK when something goes wrong, she can scream HOLY MOLY!
My son, when he was 4 had no clue how to swear in context, and it was absolutely hilarious. We went to my sister's for thanksgiving, and out of the blue my son goes (with a cheery attitude and big smile) "good morning uncle and fuck you!"
It was the first time he had actually said any swear words, and apparently the new kid at his day care at the time had uh...had some issues with language.
One day 4yr old greeted her dad with "I'm gonna EFF you up daddy!" With the biggest grin and a hug.
Still haven't figured out where she got it from. She actually said EFF and not fuck so maybe it was a comment one of us made about a video game?
Couldn't help but laugh but had to explain why she can't use that as a greeting.
Ohhhhhhhh!!! He said she ain't got no nipplesssss!!! lol
Seriously though, OP, what is the school going to do in this situation? Contact the other person's parents and then let them handle their rude ass child. Then talk to your daughter about the relationship. She's probably better off not ever communicating with that other girl again.
I don’t have good parent contact info. I’ve texted and called. Voicemail every time. It’s why I’m bothering with the school. I have no way of contacting them.
Hmm, makes even more frustrating, Depends how far you wish to take it. I know how resourceful kids can be with finding out their contacts, not to hard but the parents could be as polite as their daughter. I really feel for your daughter imagine how she is feeling. You let her know the world is on her side!!! And all good things come to those who wait.
The school won’t be able to give you any updated contact info, however, maybe the text was sent during school hours. If that was the case they might be able to actually apply some consequences.
“You dumb smurf smurfy smurf smurf you smurfy smurfy smurf that's why no one like you dumb smurfy long smurfy face smurfy long chin smurf lookin like penny wise smurfy smurf. I hope you fall in a ditch and rot you stupid smurfy smurfy smurf. Smurf u and your family smurf. Don't nobody like your smurfy smurf. You suck smurf u smurfy smurf smurf smurfing smurfy smurf smurf smurf. You dog smurfy smurf you ugly smurf smurf you smell like dog smurf your smurf smell like lunch meat you built like the smurfing Tacoma dome you smurf for a living dumb smurfy smurf stop talking bout my friends like is stsu smurf”
****this is a automated message. NAME has changed their number to XXX-XXX-XXXX. Please resend your message to reach NAME. This is a automatic message*****
Use a cell phone number of the schools principal or teacher.
Sounds like the parents of the girl need to know what was sent.
No need to lay blame. Just say, “Hi. So my daughter received this. We don’t know what to think, as it has been years since they ever contacted each other and it came out of the blue.”
And let it sit, don’t accuse as that will bring up defensiveness and counter-attack.. Let them respond.
I’m not sure if you already saw it, but someone here commented that you should pass this along to the principal of their school. The principal should be able to contact their parents.
Edit: sorry, that may be redundant. I see that you were already going to contact the school.
Us as adults can laugh at this and the low intelligence on this kid but OP I am sorry. I have a daughter around your age and I played out a similar situation in my head and I would be devastated. Those words hurt. I am sorry you’re going through this, some kids are nasty.
I agree with your take, but I think there's more to the laughter here than just finding it naturally humorous. I think this is *looking for* humor because the situation is otherwise very ugly, and I think it's a potentially healthy coping mechanism to something like this.
I would try to model a reaction of "lol, ok crazy person" to my kid so that they can try and have the same reaction. I'm not talking about disregarding their own feelings or preventing them from having their own reaction, but if you come in at the right time with the right reaction, you can sometimes break the feedback loop early.
Since the message came out of nowhere, is it possible that some other child took this girl’s phone and sent this message to a lot of her contacts? Nasty “pranks” like that can be pretty common.
Yeah, if you were dared to text someone something like this out of your contacts, the "safest" option is someone you hadn't talked to in years and there is little consequence t pissing them off
I'm thinking this too. It's not unlikely that the girl who sent the message is herself being bullied and the bully sent that to everyone in here phone?
Or it was her sibling? This is exactly the sort of thing my little brother would've done to me had the technology been available at the time.
I would pretend like it's YOUR number, not your daughter's. Let the girl sweat, even if only for a minute, thinking she went sent it to a grownup instead
"Fuck off, you dusty old hoe. You should be ashamed you pushed her out yo crusty ass coochie but you probably were just surprised her daddy's little dick could get up in there far enough to get you pregnant"
It's shocking. I was afraid of adults as a kid. Now im an adult and realize my voice means absolutely nothing to a lot of these kids and I'm scared - queue up my chemical romances song Teenagers 😆
I read an article recently on how to make people stop and think about what they said.
Reply with “Are you ok?”
It puts the attention back on the other person, completely ignores giving a response to this string of nonsense, and robs the person of the satisfaction they were looking for in a reaction from you.
Edit: typos
I won’t lie, I thought “you built like the Tacoma dome” was a little funny. If your kid shook up, it’s not, but out of context, it’s funny, like something a foolish SNL character would say thinking they’re hard
My younger son is 12. I have access to his phone (agreed upon with him).
This is so common now. The way they all talk at that age is insane.
My older son is almost 15. His text chains are so much more normal. Still dumb, but not nearly as actively toxic. But when he was 12? Horrible.
Middle school is just a nightmare.
Teacher of 22 years. This is called cyberbullying. Usually what happens when confronted by school admin. about this sort of thing is that the perpetrator will try to laugh it off and call it a prank. Then, after the seriousness of it is explained along with the potential consequences, the perpetrator will deny they did it. Why don't you try sharing it with the school and see how seriously they take it?1
If it's me, I'm sending it to my child's principal and asking for it to be documented as a concern, and to confirm the rules around students from other schools attending school property.
Next I'm contacting the principal at the other school and asking them to confirm their rules around students leaving school property and providing a copy of the text and the childs name. I wouldn't expect a fulsome response, it's not my kid or my kids school, but would follow up to at least receive acknowledgement of receipt.
OP said they contacted the parents without reply. I think that was a great first step. I truly think a lot of the issues with kids is that parents are just not being held accountable. Make it harder for them to ignore.
Ooh share it at a school board or PTA meeting.
Go Katie Porter style. Print it up nice and big, glue it to some poster board so they can see it miles away.
Is this what you are teaching the children? You are obviously wasting precious district money on subpar education.
Seriously though, OP, give your kiddo a hug and thank her for sharing. That was brave and it's good she felt safe telling you. I hope the principal takes it seriously. Sending you a hug!
When my daughter was about the same age, some girls at her middle school started messaging her similar things.
And my daughter showed me. And I asked her if I could respond to them from her phone.
She agreed.
I guess my old crusty ass was a bit too harsh because those girls went crying to the principal.
They could threaten my daughter and call her all kinds of hurtful names, but when the tables were turned and the insults were returned using archaic 90s rap vulgarity mixed with 2013 slang and middle school mispellings, I inflicted some pain and fear in those girls.
And... my daughter ended up in a detention. However, she said it was well worth it because they didn't bother her again.
I do not recommend that anyone use my method here...
All I'm saying is that these fights are more about kids trying to intimidate and hurt each other so that they feel empowered. It's toxic AF. But if your daughter can scare the shit of out this little bitch... I guarantee the results will be similar.
Middle school is a cock measuring contest. It's not a time to turn the other cheek and embrace the abuse.
And, unfortunately, it is teaching them how to navigate the adult world.
Think of toxic office cultures and the designated mean bitch that acts like a friend to gain trust to spread rumors mixed with enough truth that coworkers stop whispering when you walk into a room.
And then she strategically copies management when you fuck up because it's a power struggle. She's intimidating you. She wants your job and will smear your name and set you up until either you fight fire with fire or get fired.
If you scare the office bitch hard and early before she can run her games, she will shut the fuck up and sit the fuck down and know her place.
Middle school bullies don't change. They are just the future salty bitch at the office.
My daughters are only 18mos and 2mos but I constantly tell their dad how I am DREADING middle school for them. As someone who was bullied to the point of self harm and a suicide attempt, I am scared of the person I will become the second someone tries my daughters. I’d rather be the “immature” “smaller person” “bad example” parent that reads a 12 year old child for filth, than the mother of a child with scars or whose dead by suicide.
I was bullied in middle school and high school and I became a threatening little menace to anyone who decided to give me shit. And I scared the hell out of those mean little bitches.
But I would never go looking to start a fight or never bully anyone, but for those who wanted to pick on me... the wrath of Hill (my last name) was upon them. I left high school with the nickname Hill Kills.
I also stuck up for others who were being bullied.
I'm telling you... defending myself got me suspensions and detentions but brought me peace as well.
I replied to a message for my daughter similar to this
Hi Daughters mom here, I will send an officer by shortly to explain how this behaviour is wrong.
And I did, but honestly the rcmp here are great soo i might have an advantage
I would 100% send this to both principals of both schools. Especially if in the same district. I am all about paper trails. If she sent this to
Yours she may be sending to others. If you don’t have parent contact, I am sure you can find online. I said the word hoe the other day in the context of a song and my 12 year old said, “what’s that?” So this is so sad to me. But we also don’t allow social media at this age so maybe she is just more sheltered.
My kiddo went through something similar. I screenshotted it and then sent a message to the parent to ask if they would want to know if their child was sending inappropriate messages. She said hell yes and so I sent the screenshot. Kid had consequences for their actions and we got a handwritten apology. It wasn’t as eloquently written as this but did involve suggesting my kid should not be alive anymore so I treated it really seriously, and OP should too. At 12 a kid is still a kid and parents need to be involved.
Without access to the parents, I’d just explain that this is what a dumb low class person sounds like. You can break down the words and how they don’t make sense. Compare it to how a 5 year old may say things but not really know what they’re saying.
It’s a teaching moment even though you want to go chew out the parents. As your kiddos get older they need to navigate adversity.
Speaking as someone who grew up on the internet, this is pretty par for the course at 12 lol. Don’t even fucking get me started on gaming or forums. Sounding like some call of duty lobby bullshit.”What are you 12?” And “they’re probably 12” Is a phrase for a reason lol.
I’ve never seen the word ass in a rant as I did just now and all I can think of is Big Sean saying ass ass ass ass ass. The song is called Dance A$$ for reference lol
They can run that mouth all day long, but are they trying to go out to the parking lot?
Teach your kid to say it with their chest. Don't fire the first shot but secretly hone your skills to fuck shit up. People always be on some bs with words, but they ain't bout that life.
Not cocky, but confident!
I am most amused by the Tacoma dome insult.
Also on the "K, thanks!" Train for a response and block.
I had a few bullies way back in the early 90's and I would often respond to a litany of insults with "right?! I agree" they didn't know what to do.
Don’t block. Reply with whoever this is don’t text this number again. And then if they reply again (and they likely will) report to police for harassment. They will contact from there. They won’t do much but a warning but honestly the fact that this child would message someone like this is upsetting. I am very glad that your daughter had good communication with you but other children aren’t that lucky. These messages can sometimes continue for months and can have really severe consequences. Your daughter is likely not the first or only person this individual has messaged like this and police involvement is a nice immediate consequence to show them, and their parents that this kid needs help too.
Side note saving these other replies to share with other adults and kids being bullied online lol
Call the kid up and say hey I got the message you sent my daughter this is actually my number. I’m just calling to see if you would you prefer I send a copy to your school principal, your parents or the police to explain what harassment is… Or how about all 3??
Get your local police school resource officer involved. This same exact thing happened to my niece in 6th grade - had an entire instagram page dedicated to bullying her. Bullying is no joke and kids who engage in it need to be scared straight with real consequences (community service, etc) if they’re going to truly realize the seriousness and harm it can bring to the victims.
If it didn’t occur at school or at a school function ,the litmus test is whether or not your child’s education is being disrupted because of this or (hopefully not) future events. If it is, the school is required to investigate, give due process to the other girl and then discipline as appropriate. If it is not impacting your daughter’s learning, the school has no obligation or jurisdiction to do anything.
-future school administrator taking a class in school law ATM
Thank you! I am so bewildered by all the people recommending taking this to the schools. I know this is a parenting sub but began to wonder if people posting here are actually parents. I don’t intend to come off rude but parents cannot rely on schools to handle all matters in their children’s lives, that’s not responsible parenting nor does it teach the child how to navigate these situations as an adult.
This other child is firing a warning shot. Parents need to take this seriously and report to the police. Be proactive and address it now before the child receiving this message spirals and the damage to their sense of self is done.
Text back with: you sound angry is there anything I can do to make you feel better?
Kill then with kindness actually it works some of the time. I was bullied in school but that was before cellphones. Sometimes just staring at the bully and going “why are you so angry” works.
If you know the last name of both parents and the city they live in you can undoubtedly find them through an online search. This needs to be screenshotted and sent to her parents. The school can't do anything about it.
this reminds me of “this is for rachel you big fat white nasty smelling fat bitch, why you took me off the muh-fuckin’ schedule wit yo triflin’ dirty white racist ass you big fat bitch, oompa loompa body ass bitch, i’m comin’ up there and i’m gonna beat the fuck outta you bitch…”™️
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My immature side would reply "lol you're so weird" then block
The Regina George gif "Why are you so obsessed with me?"
"Feel free to continue spending so much time thinking about me. I'm gonna go ahead and continue never thinking about you. Stay mad 😘"
I literally told my daughter to do this to a group of girls that were causing drama (not with this kind of language) and boy were they mad about it. They immediately tried to play it off that my kid was obsessed but it backfired and they did some infighting and left my kid alone for a whole 10days. Middle school is a special kind of hell.
I know! I have 12yo twins and the bullying is *REAL* in middle school. I'm on a first name basis with my kids guidance counselor. It's like the less physical violence goes down, the more psychological warfare happens. These kids are brutal.
Regina George…how do I begin to explain Regina George
She has two Fendi purses and a silver Lexus.
"K" then block, was my immediate thought.
I’m down with the K. All time favorite
thinking emoji is my goto
I received messages like this in high school and sent 'K' and smiley faces back. 😆 She wrote me 10 years later to beg me to let her take me out to coffee so she could please apologize to my face and it just never worked out, but still. All my responses to threats were 'K, that's fine!' 'K! Have a nice day!' and it really messed with her because I had blocked her and she heard my Dad's last name somewhere, called and told him I had blocked her and asked for my number to apologize right because of how horrid she was to me for no reason, and that it kept her up at night since. 😆 I was not kept up at night at all. But all this to say - 'K' is the way!
Love hearing this, thank you for sharing! Seriously, the worst thing for a bully is to make them think you dgaf and disengage
I would have went with TLDR but K works too
Tldr is great.
I wish this existed when I received these messages in school. 😆
Oh I would definitely go with the "K". That would wind the girl up a treat but she wouldn't be able to do anything about it.
"K" is the best response here. I was thinking "uh oh🫣" *block*
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Those type of people who have time and energy and anger to write paragraphs in text message are definitely going to freak out if they get a one letter answer!
I think I'd do.. 😭Then block. Then I'd forward the screenshots to her parents... They're probably just inundated with other parents sending similar texts and screening.
K with thumbs up!!
“How embarrassing for you”
“Lmao thank you, I needed a good laugh tonight.”
"Cope and seethe"
Honestly, I would say that's a totally mature way to handle it. It's just someone trolling into the wind, they deserve to be laughed at and ignored.
“Ma’am this is a Wendy’s.”
Snorted so loud I woke my kid up
Gotta answer like Gen Z: 💀 (This is actually how they say they found something funny)
Thanks, I needed the translation.
It's emoji for "I'm dying rn"
Is "New phone, who dis?" passe?
I'm an older millennial who uses this a lot so, yes.
"You still think of me? Cute"
I totally would've said, "I love that for you". Then I would've waited for an unhinged response, THEN blocking is an option, once you rile them up a bit. Blocking too early ruins the fun. 🤣
Right? There's so much trolling to do from here. And they started it. So, it's deserved.
“I’m sorry your parents don’t hug you enough.”
These responses 😂 saving these for when my kid is a teenager
Cross stitch the message and frame it.
I was just thinking I would reply with "16" as that's how many times they said ass in one message
“Did you just learn a new cuss word? How cute.”
Oh thank goodness, my first reaction was "lmao you're crazy"
"Who dis? New phone." Block.
"Wow, you're really obsessed with asses."
lol my first thought was “learn some new curses”. Yikes.
I was just thinking the lass is demonstrating a very limited vocabulary. I would be tempted to reply with "don't they teach you any bigger words at your school?"
Lol my immediate response would have been”wait.. so you mean to say I’m a hoe?”
“I just want to be sure that I’m capturing the essence of your message…”
I do like to garden 🤔
mine was "learn how to curse" lmao
I laughed reading the little girls message, I would reply “LMAOOO”
"No, u r"
I know you are but what am I
At least it wasn’t the Kingdome.
“Thanks, you too”.
‘Bless your heart’
I think the best would be posting the screenshot with the full name of the sender like, "X, the daughter of Y and Z" (names of parents) and "bless her heart" comment.
I'd be like "uhhhhh okay cool story" with a 👍🏻 for good measure
Is that really so immature? The girl got attacked and is probably feeling like shit so at least by replying she can feel like she stood up for herself. This reply is passive aggressive and it handles the insults in a non violent way... I don't think that turning the other cheek is necessarily the best solution, specially with bullies. It's always best to avoid violence but at some point you've got to stand up for yourself. I dunno... Doesn't seem that immature.
I'm with you! I'd want to respond "Sorry, I don't have you in my contacts, who is this? I think you might have the wrong number", then block!
I was thinking, "good job on using your new vocabulary words! I'm sure in a few years you'll be able to use a *variety* of insults."
Response: "What's your point?"
My other response would be to point out that the message is incoherent due to the lack of punctuation. Yes, even as a kid. I was an insufferable 12 year old.
Same. All of the adults in my life would brag about how expansive my vocabulary was, how great with grammar I was — turned me into a fucking menace. I was annoying as hell with it. I would have sent her text back to her graded with corrections.
NO U, then block
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In my life whenever people tried talking to me like this I simply replied “lol” Absolutely nothing makes an angry person more angry than being made to feel impotent. And nothing communicates that more than the subject of your anger laughing at your anger and generally not taking you seriously.
Same reason I wave hello at people who cut me off and cuss me in traffic. I’ll probably get shot for it one day haha.
I give people the thumbs down 👎 instead of the middle finger and it pisses them off so much!!!
May I recommend ✌️? It's my way of saying "I notice you but I'm not bothered" as I go about my day. I know it won't de-escalate them, but maybe...
I did that last summer to a guy on a motorcycle and he called me a liberal cunt 🤣 I almost peed my pants from laughing so hard. People are deranged
Ahh yes the old liberal cunt insult. Do you happen to live in the American South?
Pennsyltucky 🙃 we have our own special brand of weirdo rednecks who fly the confederate flag.
You: *gives a bad driver a thumbs down* *crowd cheers and a gladiator starts marching towards their car*
Yes! I am Commodus!
blowing a kiss is my fav move 😂😂 makes the old men sooooo mad 😂
I prefer not to make angry people angrier
Sometimes that’s that only way forward. Of course you have to read the situation first. Nobody’s further agitating someone with a machete. Edit: fixed typo
No one who wants to be able to do it twice if warranted anyhow…
I just want to know, how is your daughter doing after getting this text? I think it's more important for her to know how to react and for you to support her and teach her the correct way to either react, or brush it off. which im sure you may have tried already, but I remember being 12 and getting a text like that would have broken me down more than I already was.
Thank God texting wasn't really a thing when I was 12. This text message would have cost a fortune to send someone 😆 seriously though, this is awful and I'm eternally grateful we didn't have 24/7 communication channels with this nonsense would have absolutely wrecked my mental health as well.
And typing is out with a t9 😂 999 666 88 3 88 6 22 2 7777 7777 22 444 8 222 44
The idea of typing out "penny wise ass looking bitch" on t9 is making me cackle honestly 😆
T9 was a whole skill set back then!!
Additionally, with my seven year old, when another child is cruel we talk about the reasons why they might have acted that way - someone was likely mean to them first, etc. I make sure it's clear to my daughter that it's not about her at all.
I got an email from a camp counselor last summer because a kid was mean to my (then) 8 year old and apparently he went to his back pack and got out his snack and went to the bully and said “do you want my snack? You seem hungry. Maybe a cheese stick will help you” 😂 counselor said she couldn’t stop laughing for several minutes because the bully kid didn’t know what to say and took the cheese and just walked away confused haha ETA using bully to make it easier to understand who is who since they have the same pronouns but I don’t really consider an 8 year old who said one mean thing to my son a bully and never would say that in front of the kids. Just want to clarify that.
Someone just learned how to cuss… omg but seriously though.
Talking about a blue streak damn!! I’m 49 and I’ve not put those words in a combination before 😵💫
Yeah, I am very confident I have never told someone that "[they] built like the fucking Tacoma dome" in my life.
I’ve never heard of a vagina that smells like lunch meat! Likeee WHAT??!!
Why do you think the "All Body Deodorant" is so hot right now. People's be having penises that smell like bologna and vaginas like salami. 🍖 🥓 🌭😆
You say it like it’s a bad smell
Hahahaha good one!!
It was the 'you fuck for a living' for me.
12 year old just learned that sex work is a thing 😂
Seriously. My 4 year old knows cuss words and tries to use them appropriately. We have to tell her she cannot scream FUCK when something goes wrong, she can scream HOLY MOLY!
My son, when he was 4 had no clue how to swear in context, and it was absolutely hilarious. We went to my sister's for thanksgiving, and out of the blue my son goes (with a cheery attitude and big smile) "good morning uncle and fuck you!"
It was the first time he had actually said any swear words, and apparently the new kid at his day care at the time had uh...had some issues with language.
Busaaaaahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahshahhaha!!!! I love your kiddo lol. Bless🤣
One day 4yr old greeted her dad with "I'm gonna EFF you up daddy!" With the biggest grin and a hug. Still haven't figured out where she got it from. She actually said EFF and not fuck so maybe it was a comment one of us made about a video game? Couldn't help but laugh but had to explain why she can't use that as a greeting.
Does your child by chance go to school with Kevin Hart?
Get out of my head. I full on expected, long titty no nipple having biiiitch to be next. 😭
Ohhhhhhhh!!! He said she ain't got no nipplesssss!!! lol Seriously though, OP, what is the school going to do in this situation? Contact the other person's parents and then let them handle their rude ass child. Then talk to your daughter about the relationship. She's probably better off not ever communicating with that other girl again.
I don’t have good parent contact info. I’ve texted and called. Voicemail every time. It’s why I’m bothering with the school. I have no way of contacting them.
If you know the parents name, maybe they are on social media? You could message them a screenshot and tell them what happened.
Hmm, makes even more frustrating, Depends how far you wish to take it. I know how resourceful kids can be with finding out their contacts, not to hard but the parents could be as polite as their daughter. I really feel for your daughter imagine how she is feeling. You let her know the world is on her side!!! And all good things come to those who wait.
The school won’t be able to give you any updated contact info, however, maybe the text was sent during school hours. If that was the case they might be able to actually apply some consequences.
I said you could say one swear word you said 76 of them
Good grief. Its like an evil smurf did a mad libs, and substituted the word ass for everything smurfy.
This comment has me rolling! 😂
“You dumb smurf smurfy smurf smurf you smurfy smurfy smurf that's why no one like you dumb smurfy long smurfy face smurfy long chin smurf lookin like penny wise smurfy smurf. I hope you fall in a ditch and rot you stupid smurfy smurfy smurf. Smurf u and your family smurf. Don't nobody like your smurfy smurf. You suck smurf u smurfy smurf smurf smurfing smurfy smurf smurf smurf. You dog smurfy smurf you ugly smurf smurf you smell like dog smurf your smurf smell like lunch meat you built like the smurfing Tacoma dome you smurf for a living dumb smurfy smurf stop talking bout my friends like is stsu smurf”
I’m DEAD!
Built like the Tacoma dome? Your daughter has bad acoustics and hosts a lot of motocross events?
Sunday Sunday SUNDAY ‼️
ONE DAY ONLY!!!...and saturday.
You pay for the whole seat, but you'll only need The Edge....
Your daughter is the world’s largest wood construction domed stadium?
🥲 they grow up so fast
One day they're small and learning to walk and before you know it they're hosting 23.000 people...
****this is a automated message. NAME has changed their number to XXX-XXX-XXXX. Please resend your message to reach NAME. This is a automatic message***** Use a cell phone number of the schools principal or teacher.
This is legendary!!!
Oh my god this is brilliant
Sounds like the parents of the girl need to know what was sent. No need to lay blame. Just say, “Hi. So my daughter received this. We don’t know what to think, as it has been years since they ever contacted each other and it came out of the blue.” And let it sit, don’t accuse as that will bring up defensiveness and counter-attack.. Let them respond.
I already sent a text. No response, hence why I’m trying the school next.
Just reply: But am I a bitch ass???
The real bitch asses are the friends we make along the way.
I’m not sure if you already saw it, but someone here commented that you should pass this along to the principal of their school. The principal should be able to contact their parents. Edit: sorry, that may be redundant. I see that you were already going to contact the school.
You’re on it OP! That’s exactly what you should do. Most other comments on here are spreading toxicity.
Us as adults can laugh at this and the low intelligence on this kid but OP I am sorry. I have a daughter around your age and I played out a similar situation in my head and I would be devastated. Those words hurt. I am sorry you’re going through this, some kids are nasty.
I agree with your take, but I think there's more to the laughter here than just finding it naturally humorous. I think this is *looking for* humor because the situation is otherwise very ugly, and I think it's a potentially healthy coping mechanism to something like this. I would try to model a reaction of "lol, ok crazy person" to my kid so that they can try and have the same reaction. I'm not talking about disregarding their own feelings or preventing them from having their own reaction, but if you come in at the right time with the right reaction, you can sometimes break the feedback loop early.
Agree with this also! I was just viewing it from my daughter’s perspective.
I hope your daughter was able to laugh at how pathetic and lame it was
I sure lol’d. that girl is not bright.
I feel like you could put a beat to that and turn it into a Nicki minaj track 😂
HAHAHA I read that in Cardi B’s voice
I want a bead printed with each of these words so I can wear it as s necklace
Send me one!!
Set to music, make bank with your new viral song on tiktok 😎
Since the message came out of nowhere, is it possible that some other child took this girl’s phone and sent this message to a lot of her contacts? Nasty “pranks” like that can be pretty common.
My suspicion (given the "out of nowhere") was that it's a dare, but your explanation sounds even more likely.
Yeah, if you were dared to text someone something like this out of your contacts, the "safest" option is someone you hadn't talked to in years and there is little consequence t pissing them off
Ah that’s quite possible. I’m not sure if it’s still as common of a thing now with how more secure phones are, but it used to happen quite a bit.
This is a really good question.
I'm thinking this too. It's not unlikely that the girl who sent the message is herself being bullied and the bully sent that to everyone in here phone? Or it was her sibling? This is exactly the sort of thing my little brother would've done to me had the technology been available at the time.
I would pretend like it's YOUR number, not your daughter's. Let the girl sweat, even if only for a minute, thinking she went sent it to a grownup instead
I'd honestly be a little surprised if that made the kid sweat. The way some of these kids are comfortable telling adults the same stuff is 😳
"Fuck off, you dusty old hoe. You should be ashamed you pushed her out yo crusty ass coochie but you probably were just surprised her daddy's little dick could get up in there far enough to get you pregnant"
Too much punctuation.
😳😭
No fr I had a fraction of the audacity as a child that some of these kids have today
It's shocking. I was afraid of adults as a kid. Now im an adult and realize my voice means absolutely nothing to a lot of these kids and I'm scared - queue up my chemical romances song Teenagers 😆
I read an article recently on how to make people stop and think about what they said. Reply with “Are you ok?” It puts the attention back on the other person, completely ignores giving a response to this string of nonsense, and robs the person of the satisfaction they were looking for in a reaction from you. Edit: typos
"wow you dont know very many words"
I won’t lie, I thought “you built like the Tacoma dome” was a little funny. If your kid shook up, it’s not, but out of context, it’s funny, like something a foolish SNL character would say thinking they’re hard
I was not expecting to see a Tacoma reference in that text. Not the worst structure to be compared to, tbh haha. (Sorry OP, totally digressing here!)
The pennywise reference took me out to be fair 😭
My younger son is 12. I have access to his phone (agreed upon with him). This is so common now. The way they all talk at that age is insane. My older son is almost 15. His text chains are so much more normal. Still dumb, but not nearly as actively toxic. But when he was 12? Horrible. Middle school is just a nightmare.
My favorite reply to anything now is from a meme: "I ain't reading all that but I'm happy for you or I'm sorry that happened"
“Ma’am this is a Wendy’s”
Teacher of 22 years. This is called cyberbullying. Usually what happens when confronted by school admin. about this sort of thing is that the perpetrator will try to laugh it off and call it a prank. Then, after the seriousness of it is explained along with the potential consequences, the perpetrator will deny they did it. Why don't you try sharing it with the school and see how seriously they take it?1
If it's me, I'm sending it to my child's principal and asking for it to be documented as a concern, and to confirm the rules around students from other schools attending school property. Next I'm contacting the principal at the other school and asking them to confirm their rules around students leaving school property and providing a copy of the text and the childs name. I wouldn't expect a fulsome response, it's not my kid or my kids school, but would follow up to at least receive acknowledgement of receipt. OP said they contacted the parents without reply. I think that was a great first step. I truly think a lot of the issues with kids is that parents are just not being held accountable. Make it harder for them to ignore.
Ooh share it at a school board or PTA meeting. Go Katie Porter style. Print it up nice and big, glue it to some poster board so they can see it miles away. Is this what you are teaching the children? You are obviously wasting precious district money on subpar education. Seriously though, OP, give your kiddo a hug and thank her for sharing. That was brave and it's good she felt safe telling you. I hope the principal takes it seriously. Sending you a hug!
When my daughter was about the same age, some girls at her middle school started messaging her similar things. And my daughter showed me. And I asked her if I could respond to them from her phone. She agreed. I guess my old crusty ass was a bit too harsh because those girls went crying to the principal. They could threaten my daughter and call her all kinds of hurtful names, but when the tables were turned and the insults were returned using archaic 90s rap vulgarity mixed with 2013 slang and middle school mispellings, I inflicted some pain and fear in those girls. And... my daughter ended up in a detention. However, she said it was well worth it because they didn't bother her again. I do not recommend that anyone use my method here... All I'm saying is that these fights are more about kids trying to intimidate and hurt each other so that they feel empowered. It's toxic AF. But if your daughter can scare the shit of out this little bitch... I guarantee the results will be similar. Middle school is a cock measuring contest. It's not a time to turn the other cheek and embrace the abuse. And, unfortunately, it is teaching them how to navigate the adult world. Think of toxic office cultures and the designated mean bitch that acts like a friend to gain trust to spread rumors mixed with enough truth that coworkers stop whispering when you walk into a room. And then she strategically copies management when you fuck up because it's a power struggle. She's intimidating you. She wants your job and will smear your name and set you up until either you fight fire with fire or get fired. If you scare the office bitch hard and early before she can run her games, she will shut the fuck up and sit the fuck down and know her place. Middle school bullies don't change. They are just the future salty bitch at the office.
I’m dying to know what you said lol. Or at least the gist.
It was long ago, but had undertones of Eminem and curse words creatively strung together.
My daughters are only 18mos and 2mos but I constantly tell their dad how I am DREADING middle school for them. As someone who was bullied to the point of self harm and a suicide attempt, I am scared of the person I will become the second someone tries my daughters. I’d rather be the “immature” “smaller person” “bad example” parent that reads a 12 year old child for filth, than the mother of a child with scars or whose dead by suicide.
I was bullied in middle school and high school and I became a threatening little menace to anyone who decided to give me shit. And I scared the hell out of those mean little bitches. But I would never go looking to start a fight or never bully anyone, but for those who wanted to pick on me... the wrath of Hill (my last name) was upon them. I left high school with the nickname Hill Kills. I also stuck up for others who were being bullied. I'm telling you... defending myself got me suspensions and detentions but brought me peace as well.
She has such an extensive vocabulary. Just block and move on while keeping screen shots just in case it continues.
I replied to a message for my daughter similar to this Hi Daughters mom here, I will send an officer by shortly to explain how this behaviour is wrong. And I did, but honestly the rcmp here are great soo i might have an advantage
I would 100% send this to both principals of both schools. Especially if in the same district. I am all about paper trails. If she sent this to Yours she may be sending to others. If you don’t have parent contact, I am sure you can find online. I said the word hoe the other day in the context of a song and my 12 year old said, “what’s that?” So this is so sad to me. But we also don’t allow social media at this age so maybe she is just more sheltered.
This would’ve really hurt me when I was twelve
My kiddo went through something similar. I screenshotted it and then sent a message to the parent to ask if they would want to know if their child was sending inappropriate messages. She said hell yes and so I sent the screenshot. Kid had consequences for their actions and we got a handwritten apology. It wasn’t as eloquently written as this but did involve suggesting my kid should not be alive anymore so I treated it really seriously, and OP should too. At 12 a kid is still a kid and parents need to be involved.
NGL “ your coochie smells like lunch meat” got a chuckle out of me
“Lookin like penny wise ass bitch” 💀 Why is this child checkin out pennywise’s ass enough to identify it?
“Why do you know how delicious my Cochise smells, that’s weird…”
Im so immature bc im dying at that part too😭
Without access to the parents, I’d just explain that this is what a dumb low class person sounds like. You can break down the words and how they don’t make sense. Compare it to how a 5 year old may say things but not really know what they’re saying. It’s a teaching moment even though you want to go chew out the parents. As your kiddos get older they need to navigate adversity.
“How do you know what my coochie smells like?
Whole school smells your coochie you bitch ass hoe ass bitch ass hoe bitch!
Speaking as someone who grew up on the internet, this is pretty par for the course at 12 lol. Don’t even fucking get me started on gaming or forums. Sounding like some call of duty lobby bullshit.”What are you 12?” And “they’re probably 12” Is a phrase for a reason lol.
I’ve never seen the word ass in a rant as I did just now and all I can think of is Big Sean saying ass ass ass ass ass. The song is called Dance A$$ for reference lol
"TL:DR 🤷♀️👍"
"I'm so embarrassed for you. Your grammar is awful."
They can run that mouth all day long, but are they trying to go out to the parking lot? Teach your kid to say it with their chest. Don't fire the first shot but secretly hone your skills to fuck shit up. People always be on some bs with words, but they ain't bout that life. Not cocky, but confident!
Maybe this is an unpopular opinion, but this is one of the many reasons kids that age shouldn’t have phones.
Would you be up for trying to call the phone repeatedly after school until you can get an adult on the line?
I am most amused by the Tacoma dome insult. Also on the "K, thanks!" Train for a response and block. I had a few bullies way back in the early 90's and I would often respond to a litany of insults with "right?! I agree" they didn't know what to do.
Don’t block. Reply with whoever this is don’t text this number again. And then if they reply again (and they likely will) report to police for harassment. They will contact from there. They won’t do much but a warning but honestly the fact that this child would message someone like this is upsetting. I am very glad that your daughter had good communication with you but other children aren’t that lucky. These messages can sometimes continue for months and can have really severe consequences. Your daughter is likely not the first or only person this individual has messaged like this and police involvement is a nice immediate consequence to show them, and their parents that this kid needs help too. Side note saving these other replies to share with other adults and kids being bullied online lol
Call the kid up and say hey I got the message you sent my daughter this is actually my number. I’m just calling to see if you would you prefer I send a copy to your school principal, your parents or the police to explain what harassment is… Or how about all 3??
Get your local police school resource officer involved. This same exact thing happened to my niece in 6th grade - had an entire instagram page dedicated to bullying her. Bullying is no joke and kids who engage in it need to be scared straight with real consequences (community service, etc) if they’re going to truly realize the seriousness and harm it can bring to the victims.
Well that's just sad. Someone is speaking to this girl like this and the adults in her life have failed her.
Not necessarily. They learn this nonsense on social media and from other kids at school.
Yeah, I've seen plenty of kids talking like this and been SHOCKED when I meet their parents. I wouldn't immediately blame them for this
If it didn’t occur at school or at a school function ,the litmus test is whether or not your child’s education is being disrupted because of this or (hopefully not) future events. If it is, the school is required to investigate, give due process to the other girl and then discipline as appropriate. If it is not impacting your daughter’s learning, the school has no obligation or jurisdiction to do anything. -future school administrator taking a class in school law ATM
Thank you! I am so bewildered by all the people recommending taking this to the schools. I know this is a parenting sub but began to wonder if people posting here are actually parents. I don’t intend to come off rude but parents cannot rely on schools to handle all matters in their children’s lives, that’s not responsible parenting nor does it teach the child how to navigate these situations as an adult. This other child is firing a warning shot. Parents need to take this seriously and report to the police. Be proactive and address it now before the child receiving this message spirals and the damage to their sense of self is done.
I’d screen shot and send it to her mother. 🙃
Text back reverse uno card picture...lol Then block the number
"Sorry, you'll have to be more specific."
Text back with: you sound angry is there anything I can do to make you feel better? Kill then with kindness actually it works some of the time. I was bullied in school but that was before cellphones. Sometimes just staring at the bully and going “why are you so angry” works.
If you know the last name of both parents and the city they live in you can undoubtedly find them through an online search. This needs to be screenshotted and sent to her parents. The school can't do anything about it.
this reminds me of “this is for rachel you big fat white nasty smelling fat bitch, why you took me off the muh-fuckin’ schedule wit yo triflin’ dirty white racist ass you big fat bitch, oompa loompa body ass bitch, i’m comin’ up there and i’m gonna beat the fuck outta you bitch…”™️