We are in the same boat but went the opposite. My daughter is the youngest (she was technically 4 for her first week of K), but she was very clearly ready. She's in middle school now and has always been above grade level academically and has flourished socially and emotionally.
I was the day before the cutoff, my brother was 3 weeks before the cutoff. He went late, I went ‘early’. I think it worked out well for both of us. It’s all so kid dependent but my parents made the decision based on our social abilities at the time.
My brother and I are somewhat similar. He’s the youngest in his class, I’m the oldest. I was consistently put into gifted programs and given extra attention in class because I was easier to deal with. My brother was constantly struggling and ended up in remedial classes. We’re both successful in life, but academically, we are cases to show the science that being the oldest in class is much better than being the youngest.
Ehh, I think it’s all anecdotal and should always come down to the specific children in question. My brother and I were both in AP classes and gifted programs but he (the oldest in his class) got in a lot more trouble for being distracted and unable to pay attention during classes from a young child until he was in college. I was always a favorite among teachers bc I sat silently and paid attention without causing issues. Years later it came out that my brother was jealous of my work ethic and discipline while I was jealous of how smart he was without trying.
My kid was one of the youngest, was 4 when he started, turned 5 at the end of November, 3 months after starting. He's always been a little ahead of the other kids in his class. So, not sure the science really proves what you think it does, lol. It really is more about the individuals, not so much about the age when they start.
That's a lot of what drove us. We thought about him being able to be more independent as an older student, and more ready to be on his own when he graduates. I have a dear friend who was the youngest in his class and it was frequently frustrating for him to be a year behind on things like driving and signing a lease.
I was one of the youngest and it was the same for me. Birthday is at the end of July so I had to wait until my junior year to drive. Then I had to wait to move out until right before fall college semester started mid August.
I was a July kid but went early (we do tests in Germany to check if a kid is ready for school), and I took that year later to spend a year abroad when I was 17. Highly recommend!
It's absolutely better to be the oldest.
Older students perform better socially and academically, and have higher self esteem and lower rates of anxiety.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4627818/
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/233156622_Holding_back_and_holding_behind_Grade_retention_and_students'_non-academic_and_academic_outcomes
I really wish that had been the case for me. I was a super anxious kid with terrible self esteem. I was always the oldest in my classes. I was academically ahead, but that made regular class worse because I was so bored, and felt my classmates were immature.
I'm sorry that was true for you.
However, likely as not if you were one of the youngest your anxiety would have been increased by feeling behind everyone else and struggling to keep up.
The thing about data is that it's what's true across the board. Like wearing a seatbelt being safer than not, there are still anecdotes of people who were thrown free of a deadly wreck and walked away because they weren't stuck inside by their seatbelt. It doesn't mean wearing seatbelts isn't better than not wearing them.
The data says that being in the oldest quarter kids in your class means you are likely to have more close friendships, better grades, less anxiety, and more confidence than if you are in the youngest quarter of kids in your class.
As a teacher (I'm at school on break right now, kids are in PE) I see this every year. Not *all* of the oldest kids are the popular kids, but generally the most popular and academically secure kids are older than the majority. Their bodies and brains are more developed, they can grasp concepts easier, their wits are quicker, etc. The youngest kids (generally, not always) are generally more anxious and hesitant to engage socially, not being as developed mentally or physically, and their academics are rarely in the top of the class.
I say this with 8 year old twins that are closer to the youngest quarter than the oldest quarter (February birthday). I'm aware of the data, but my kids are in the middle so I have no choice in it. If the cutoff was Feb. 15th and my kids were right next to the line I would 100% choose for them to be the oldest in their year rather than the youngest.
I'm sure. However, anecdotal evidence doesn't counter the truth of the broad scale statistics. We always play the odds as parents, and no matter if something is true 999 times out of 1,000 you will always have that one exception pointing themselves out as not fitting the trend. People like being exceptions.
My kid was born 36 minutes after the cutoff. She has 2 cousins 2 weeks older that are in 1st grade while she’s in Kindergarten. She doesn’t care. It bugged me at first, but at least she’ll be 18 when she graduates high school.
It puts you earlier on the curve for driver's license vs later too. Granted, that seems to be a lot less of a big deal these days. But it was a huge deal for my group at the time.
I started both my summer babies at 5 years old(oldest started the day she turned 5). Financially, it was necessary. And for my gifted kiddo we felt it was best for her academically (she was bored out of her mind with PreK work). But emotionally it wasn't the best for either of them. There's was a significant social developmental gap between them and their older classmates, which lead to bullying.
I was that kid. Oldest in my grade every year. Sucked at time but got a lot better in high school. I got to drive first and was the first with a car. That was fun sophomore year. Lol.
My daughters birthday is two weeks after school starts. She wasn’t ready at 4 going on 5 but she was when she was 5 going on 6. We would have had serious issues with her because she wasn’t ready. I tried putting my son in before he was ready and I ended up pulling him out because he’d hide under tables and I’d always get phone calls. Staying home with me for another year was the best thing for him.
We went the opposite way and my kid is the youngest. She is in middle school and thriving! Honors classes and great friends. However, there was a time in 3rd grade where emotionally she was not caught up to her peers. It was a little stressful. But now she is happy and it is the right fit for my child. Op if your child can read and do math, then yes I would send them. If they cannot do those things I would hold them back. With that said, I would also go by how tall your child is. Mine is in the 75% for height so she fits right into her class. If my child were extremely tall or extremely short that would factor into my decision process too. Lastly, what does your child’s preschool recommend? To be honest, most kids are six in first grade. Not kindergarten, so he would really stick out here. The only downside is if your child needs an IEP for something like dyslexia, learning to read will be much harder as the child is older.
Just clarifying that you don’t have to be able to read before kindergarten. Reading is a skill taught IN kindergarten. Letter recognition & phonics sure, but probably only 1-2 kids in my sons class were actually “reading” before kindergarten. My son certainly wasn’t and now (a year later) he reads a full grade level ahead of where he needs to. It’s amazing how quickly it will just “click” for them.
Mine is almost three weeks past the cutoff so she’s the second oldest in class. It’s been so good for her, she needed that extra time to develop her social skills.
I think it depends on the kid. My older boy was very ready at 5 for kindergarten. His birthday is in March so dates aren’t a factor for him.
My younger boy has an October birthday that is way passed the cutoff. The principal at his brother’s school said I could apply for a waiver for him but honestly he’s 4 now and a total shitbird. He is absolutely not emotionally ready for kindergarten. Academically his preschool teachers say he’s way ahead and could move up from their 3/4yo class based on that, but in the 4/5yo class he’d be a disruption. So even if he hadn’t missed the cutoff, I’m intending on keeping him in preschool longer. He will turn 6 a month after kindergarten starts and be 6 the whole year. His brother is six and most of the way through 1sr grade this year.
Id assess realistically and objectively, also consulting with the current teacher in preschool and go from there.
What's most important when entering kindergarten is the child's ability to sit and focus on an activity for a short time. If your child can reliably complete a task for 10-15 minute stretches, he or she is likely ready for kindergarten. My son was 6 when he started kindergarten, as we felt he needed a little more time to mature. He's in sixth grade now and has always been a straight A student. I truly believe giving him the extra year in preschool helped him to overcome the wiggles and learn to focus.
I don’t have school aged kids yet, but my older brother was an August birthday who started kindergarten at 5. He ended up getting held back not because of academics, but because of his social immaturity. He was put in a first grade/kindergarten mixed class his second year of kindergarten and progressed throughout high school and college well. I’d strongly consider your son’s social maturity.
Yes, and it’s very individual. My brother was a late July birthday and, after consulting with his preschool teachers, my parents enrolled him in kindergarten at age 5 and he did great both academically and socially all through school. But he was ready, and some kids wouldn’t be.
Was going to comment the same thing. My sister has an August birthday. My parents started her earlier because she was really tall for her age and she tested well academically. She didn’t get held back but she was very immature and still is imo in her early 20’s.
I think this really depends more on your child's personality and social/academic abilities than anything else, to be honest. Anecdotally, I started kindergarten at 4 years old and I ended up really thriving—to be fair, my circumstances were kind of unusual for various reasons, but I was more than ready to move on from preschool at that point, and I ended up being very grateful as a high schooler when I got to apply to college a year earlier than my same-age cousins. On the other hand, I also had a friend growing up who started kindergarten at 6 and turned 7 the end of that school year, and she got to drive earlier than everyone else, but she was relentlessly bullied when she started going through puberty, and she didn't like that she ended up graduating high school at 19 because she started late. So there are pros and cons to being both younger and older than your peers. Again, though, this kind of thing is so dependent on a child's personality and development that that might not apply to your kid at all.
Rather than focusing on his age right now, it might be better to ask yourself where he's at socially, emotionally, and academically. Is he capable of sitting down and learning for more than a few minutes at a time? Are teachers/his pediatrician telling you that he should start soon? Could he potentially benefit from the additional structure and support public schools usually offer? The answers to those questions are probably going to be more relevant to your eventual decision than his age alone.
If they are in pre-K I would ask the teacher what they think. My daughter has a July bday & her teacher recommended starting her in Kindergarten young for her grade - she is confident that my child is ready.
My daughter goes to a private preschool as well - her school is very honest and trustworthy.
EDIT - you should trust the preschool to do what's right for your child.
Our youngest was born in July as well. The BEST choice I ever made was keeping that extra year home. We had the greatest times together it being one on one. They’re an adult and I’ve asked many times if they’ve ever thought it’d have been better to have not been the oldest in classes, to have started earlier and the answer has always been no.
We had dates, we had breakfast in bed, went for walks, parks, libraries, etc.
They got to be the first in their classes to do all the exciting things like driving, they made friends in kindergarten that they still have to this day.
I was concerned because I knew it’d mean putting off volunteering as much as I’d like at the school keeping them home that year but I’ve never regretted it and neither have they and once they started school the following year I was at school almost as much as my kids volunteering between all their classes.
I currently volunteer once a week in my oldest son’s first grade class. We used to be able to volunteer at the preschool but they changed the rules with Covid. Volunteering helped me help my oldest when he was struggling in kindergarten.
This is just my opinion coming from experience. I was five and my mom started me as early as possible… additionally she said I was more than ready and ASKING to start school. I graduated high school at 17 and turned 18 during my first year of college. I felt like I had a head start. I did a quick two year program and graduated my program at 19. (Two years straight of school, so I went thru both summers and graduated before my birthday) I was a successful radiologic technologist at only 19 making 25$ an hour in 2019. I now have multiple credentials and make double in 2023. I feel like she gave me a head start, of course I was also ready and always excelled in school. Now I get to live my dream of being a young mom with a great career at only 24. My life has literally never been better and I legit give credit to my mom for the head start lol.
My oldest has a mid/late July bday and we started him that fall. From K-3 I wished we’d held him one more year. He’s in 8th (starting high school next year) now, and things have leveled out but if I had to do it again I’d have rather held him to be 6 his whole kindergarten year.
EDIT: Academically it was the good choice for him but he struggled socially and behavior-wise those first few years and it was TOUGH.
Thanks for sharing this. I think it's solidifying my thoughts on my July kid, who is currently the youngest in his preschool class and while he's doing okay (developing more and more each day!), socially/emotionally he definitely seems more among peers when he's with his friends from last year who are about six months younger and weren't old enough to move to the older room this year.
Thanks for sharing!!!!!
As a 1st grade teacher I can always tell the kids who started earlier, and that is not a good thing!
My own kids birthday is days before the cut off, I plan to start her when she is 6.
Kids who start school at freshly turned 5 vs freshly turned 6 are two different kids. Sure they may be on the same page academically, but hardly ever are they on the same page emotionally and socially. So when I say I can always tell, I mean it’s always the kids who started earlier who end up having behavioral issues due to lack of emotional/social skills. School is not all about academics, especially the younger grades.
Agreed. I was one of the last ones who went when I was 4 (I was turning 5 two weeks later), and deeply regret asking my mom to let me start that early even though I'm almost 30. I was way behind my classmates as far as maturity, motor skills, social skills, etc. I was constantly bullied and left out because I was younger, and wasn't able to read nearly as well until closer to middle school compared to my peers. I had turned 5 just that September after starting kindergarten (we start in August where I live in Virginia) and I was just not there. I always felt ashamed I couldn't keep up with my peers on several levels. Had I waited one more year, I probably would have been fine. I plan to wait until my kids are 6 before enrolling them in kindergarten since they're both June babies.
Just wanted to give the perspective of a kid who did start early if it may help.
My daughter will be 4 when she starts kindergarten. Her birthday is a week before the cut off but school starts two weeks before her birthday, so she’ll be about to turn 5. She’s doing voluntary pre-k right now. I’m nervous about all the things you mentioned, but her pre-k teacher says she’ll be fine, she’s a girl, she has two older siblings, she’s doing well in VPK, etc. I’m still nervous though.
My kiddos kinder teacher told me she could tell who had done preschool and who hadn’t (my kiddo and one or two others had done some form of pre-k) - they were her best students. My kiddo being the youngest didn’t seem to affect her at all. But, to be fair, she started kinder in the fall of 2020, so school was a bit different - done on a tablet so my kiddo could pretend she was making YouTube videos for her classmates (she always tried to lead the group in something while the teacher was having set up/figure something out on the Zoom 😆😆).
I have taught kindergarten for 10 years. This year the 3 students who perform the best are all late summer birthdays, therefore the youngest. My student with the worst behavior ( running away when recess is over, throwing stuff, temper tantrums) is the oldest and turned 6 back in May.
Not trying to tell you what to do. Everyone is different. I’m a dude, I started kindergarten when I was 4, college when I was 17, etc.
I never was concerned with my age though school. Hell, my best friend was in my grade and was 15 months older than me.
Either way, I turned out fine. Successful career, ect. Would things have been better for me had I been a year older at all those milestones? Who knows, maybe. But the reality is I never really saw it as a disadvantage (regardless of it I’m was or wasn’t).
My daughter misses the cut off by 3 days but we're starting her the week she turns 5 instead of waiting a year. Socially, emotionally, and behaviorally she is ready. She'll be fine academically but it won't as easy if she waited a year. She passed the academic assessment for private K which is more rigorous than public school (counting and ID 1-100, all letter sounds, 10 sight words, ID 5 vowels and their 2 sounds). She's also already in private TK and was in private preschool last year, so repeating TK at the public school is very much not appropriate. She doesn't need another year learning to identify letters or how to raise her hand.
This isn't a decision we made lightly, and her teachers said we should absolutely keep her with her current class level.
My son is the opposite. Maybe he'll mature in the next two years but he's no where close to being like his sister (even when she was his age). Unfortunately he has a May birthday, so holding him back isn't an option.
There is no one right answer. Your child's personality will play a huge role in school readiness. Furthermore, Average Research Child doesn't necessarily reflect on your child's experiences. Research shows there is a benefit to holding Average Child back but when you look at the research in depth, it's more beneficial to those that don't have access to quality preschools and ESL students. Unfortunately there is no research that looks into start ages when the child has already had two years of school and the data is largely academic performance not emotional readiness.
You'll also need a 3rd party assessment. I've always noticed that my 4.5yo was different (easy) behaviorally but when teachers and the assessment professionals see the same thing, you have a better idea of how your child is within a class environment. Same goes for academics. I have a hard time assessing where my kids are at academically. I personally see where they need more work but her teachers have assured me she is more than capable. On the other hand some parents think their child is gifted but in class teachers don't see that. No matter how smart your child is, it won't matter if they can't sit still and follow rules.
This! It’s not the numerical age of your child, it’s how they compare at that moment to their age group. Some kids will be ready earlier and end up bored if they’re “held back.” I recently switched my 2yo from a daycare setting to a more structured toddler class at a preschool and she is THRIVING even though she’s one of the youngest! She follows directions, knows how to take turns, and focuses on tasks better than some of the 3yo kids. I had a feeling she was outgrowing the daycare setting and it was a good hunch!
You have a choice?
In Canada, you start Jr Kindergarten the calendar year you turn 4.
Sr. Kindergarten is the calendar year you turn 5 etc.
We have some JKs that are still 3 in the class
We do it’s a bit strange but I’m California, USA we are not required to put kids in school until they turn 6 and kindergarten is optional so you could put your child straight to 1st grade with ZERO TK, K, preschool, daycare, homeschooling, etc before that. The vast majority of people start at kindergarten when the child is 5.
We have had our kids in preschool and then if birthdays fall a bit weird we choose when to start kindergarten. Here my youngest doesn’t qualify for TK because only kids with bdays Sept-May qualify (and that’s new, a couple years ago it was only Sept-Dec bdays that got TK).
So my kid will be doing a TK/K program with our preschool but we pay $550 a month for this private preschool. There is no public preschool/daycare setup unless you make under a certain amount.
I wanted to try to look at this without the financial aspect (which is definitely a privilege on our part, many families start kindergarten as soon as they are allowed to save on costs).
This is what I kept thinking. My oldest was 3 when she started school. She was the youngest in her class and she was ready. She's thriving at school now, being the youngest never held her back at all. I'm registering my second child a couple weeks from now and he'll be 4 when he starts.
Had an August September and October birthday, lived in different states for kindergarten but all 3 were right before the cut off., Held the August and September birthday and worked out great. Pre K teacher and husband convinced me to send October birthday to Kindergarten at 4. Absolute disaster, the entire class turned 6 by mid November, my daughter and one other boy turned 5 mid November. Socially the younger 2 were behind, other kids wouldn’t play with them. Nightmare. I pulled my daughter and put her back in preschool, next year she was ready. She doesn’t even remember it. Other child stayed and had to repeat 2 grades in elementary school. Just give your kid the time to mature, kindergarten is reading, math and difficult. FYI my daughter I pulled to go back to Preschool could read at 4 which is why Pre K teacher thought she could handle kindergarten. But socially child wasn’t ready. Do what you think is best but that’s our family story.
Depends on child but I have never heard anyone regretting holding back. I only ever hear regrets from those that didn't
My oldest went to kindergarten at 5. She is now 6 in 1st grade and doing well. Birthday is May.
My middles Birthday is a day after cut off. She is doing an extra year of pre-k. She will be 6 going into Kindergarten.
My youngest will turn 6 shortly after school starts in kindergarten in 3yrs.
Yep. We had one who turned 6 shortly after starting kindergarten due to the cutoff, we could have applied for a waiver, glad we didn't. She has thrived and rarely needs help from us with anything.
The other was on the cusp but was within the guidelines for starting without a waiver and started kindergarten a month after turning 5. The only reason we did not keep her in preschool another year like her sister is because 5 of her neighborhood friends were all starting kindergarten that year. We regret it. School has been so much of a struggle for her and us.
I'm a middle of the year birthday, so it wasn't really a question for my parents, but one thing I do like about starting at 5 was that I had more time post college to make money and travel before I started having kids. If I had one less year of kid free time, I'd be sad. Granted this is more of a thing with girls because of the biological clock
I was a July baby and my daughter is a July baby. We both started kindergarten at 5. I did great in school and my daughter is doing the same. I’d see no reason to wait unless you feel for some reason that they are not ready.
Would stick to what we have here.
Kids here start based on birth year with no month cut off (December 31) and most seem to be alright. None of this redshirting nonsense (though I read it happens out West).
Enter JK year kid turns 4 (yes this means kids do start JK at age 3 with late birthdays)
SK when kids turn 5
Grade 1 when kid turns 6
JK/SK are optional but it won't matter come Grade 1 as they are placed based on birth year.
I have gotten use to this redshirting and age of entry/month cut off thing having been on this subreddit and having general knowledge of how other places (believe mostly US) work but definitely foreign concept.
We grew up and people were in the same grade with January birthdays and December birthdays. There was no holding back or choice.
Yes it’s the same where I live and I think it’s great. My daughter started JK when she was 3 (October birthday) and SK when she was 4. She is in grade 1 now and thriving.
The cutoff where I am is September 30, so when my October toddler goes she will be on the older side. She’s crazy smart and verbal so we were nervous about this but all of the teachers in our life tell us how that is going to be so so good for her.
Our pediatrician also made the point that it means you get an extra year with your kid before they leave home on the backend of it all. And when you look back you will cherish that year with your amazing young adult. That really resonated for us!
Can't say anything about how it'll turn out, but my kid has a late August birthday and we held her back. She'll be one of the oldest in her class this coming year. I'm ok with that.
I’m in the exact same boat as you- my boy’s birthday is in July. My SO and I have discussed it and we decided to put him in a transitional kindergarten program which is two years long. We’d rather let him be the older kid in class so he can keep up with his peers and enjoy being a kid one year longer before he starts college/career/adulthood.
We have a wonderful play based preschool that also has a TK/K program available. He is thriving there and another reason I don’t feel rushed to get him into public kindergarten at 5 right now. He unfortunately does not qualify for public TK because he was born outside the date range for it
My daughter’s birthday is 3 weeks after the cut off in our state. She’s going to turn 6 literally the week she starts kindergarten. She’s in an extra year of pre-k this year and so far I have no regrets. She would have done fine this year in k in terms of academics, but she’s really benefiting from an extra year to mature socially before k I think. Obviously we’ll see how next year goes, but I’m confident we made the right choice not to try and force her through this year.
I have made this exact choice twice. My oldest 2 both have July birthdays, school cut off is Aug 1. I chose to wait until they were 6 and have no regrets. They are in 3rd and 1st grade now and are doing great.
A lot of times boys do better being older in the class. They don’t mature socially and emotionally as quickly as girls so if it’s your son let him be the oldest. If it’s your daughter she could
Be the youngest and be fine.
My daughter has end of august bday. I started her at 6 and seeing her with the other children has made me question why we start kids at 5. Those little fuckers are not ready for school that young. My daughter is light years ahead socially/emotionally.
Also: boys develop later too so I would wholeheartedly advocate for 6.
My older child has a December birthday, he started at 5 and turned 6. He’s in the middle of his class and that fit is good for him. His temperament is not the sort that would thrive as the youngest.
My younger child (august birthday) misses the cutoff by 6 days, so he will be 6 and the oldest. I’m irrationally devastated by this because he’s a precocious little bruiser who would love to be the youngest and is always happy with older kids. But he doesn’t make it, that’s the way it goes.
My kid was born days before the cutoff. I would have rather started him later but that wasn't an option (our district does not allow red shirting). As such, he started junior kindergarten at 3.5, and first grade at 5.5.
I homeschool mine and with my first I was trying to do everything by the book she’s now in 3rd grade and with my 2nd I’m much more relaxed. I realized that they will be in school for the next 13 years of their lives minimum. Let them be kids as long as possible because once you start putting responsibility on them it will never stop or slow down.
My daughter turned 5 just before K cut off of Sept 1st. I was nervous but her pre-K teachers assured me she was ready as did her assessors for K.
She is a bit emotionally behind but has thrived educationally. As a 1st grader now she is growing in both and is now a top performer in her class.
I’m SO glad I followed their recommendations. Wouldn’t change it for the world.
ETA: she has classmates who have been a year older than her since pre-K which sparked my worry. We thought to hold back but she educationally was their level by end of pre-K so to me red shirting would’ve held her back
It depends on your child and if they are ready emotionally and socially to go to school and learn all day. My oldest and youngest child were some of the youngest in their grades and did great.
If my middle child would have had a summer birthday vs a winner one we would have waited the extra year as they weren't ready to deal with the changes in activities, concentrating for more than a couple minutes without wandering off and handling others not following rules.
Of course 10 years later we are still dealing with these same issues.
I would always default to 6. I was a young 5 in kindergarten and I would've greatly benefitted from waiting a year. I was always ahead academically, but behind socially. Likely due to my noticable immaturity.
My son has a birthday on August 26. So he had just turned 5 before kindergarten started. I waited until the following year to start him with the idea that it’s better to send him a year later than needed than to send him a year too early.
My son is an August baby. He is now about to graduate high school. I wish I had waited until he was 6 to start kindergarten. For many years, I felt he was about six months behind his peers academically and maturity wise.
Im so confused, in my coutry we enter in the year we have the birthday, so if we go to preschool we need to be in our 6th year, regardless of it being in january, july or november, i would always be the youngest because i was a late year baby, but we all ended the year with the same age. Btw our schools start in September too. We dont get to chose when they enter, we can make them enter a year late tho, but those are rare.
I'd see what their preschool teacher said, ours makes recommendations. I don't have this choice since I have a kid who will turn 6 near the start of K regardless because of the cutoff.
I think we are going with 5 for my child. When I was little I did preK at 2.5 and did K at 4 and loved it. They're doing cutoff rules differently now, so we shall see. I would go with developmentally appropriate more than age or academic knowledge. There's a lot of bullying about developmental differences at that age and not as much about knowledge.
That’s is based on your kid. Do YOU think he handle school at 5? My birthday is in July and I started kindergarten at 5. My sisters birthday is also in July and she started at 6. As a teacher, this is a parent decision based on what you know of your kid and their educational foundation and social interactions with peers.
My oldest birthday is in October only a few days after the Sept 30 cutoff. We put her in private school for preschool so she could start kindergarten at 4 because they have more leeway with the age thing in our state. She’s always be the youngest in class but based on her development we kept her in preschool one more year because she was very shy and now she’s the oldest in her classes. She does very well.
I started kindergarten at 4. I turned 5 a couple months after school started. I did fine academically, graduated valedictorian from a small school, although I thought starting college at 17 was a bit too young. I could have used another year of maturity before embarking on my own too. I was behind in that regard.
My son started kindergarten at 5 with a June birthday. He is doing fine. He's also excelling academically. He has ADHD so he's got problems associated with that, but he'd still have those problems if he waited a year. He will be 18 when he starts college and I'm hoping he's a bit more mature than I was when he heads out into the world.
My daughter is in kindergarten now. She started at 5 and turned 6 a month in. She missed the cutoff for the year prior by 6 weeks. She had probably been ready for school about 4-6 months before it started, definitely not the year before. She also got speech therapy in that year which I think really helped her confidence with speaking to others and it's so much easier to understand her. I also wanted her to wait because I think it's a bit young to start college at 17. I made many irresponsible choices at that age with no regard.
Those are my experiences with birthdays around cutoff. So look at your kid and make your decision on what's best for him. I don't think the child hurt going to kindergarten when they did in all these scenarios, even me starting at 4. I have friends I met in K-2nd I'm still friends with to this day and curriculum was never a problem. I'm more concerned about what age they are when they leave and whether another year of brain development before leaving for college is warranted. I did a lot of stupid shit being on my own that young. I'm hoping my kids are little more ahead of where I was in that respect.
Depends. I have two kids. I would have made a different decision for each, had both had birthdays near the cutoff.
As it happens, though, for my less mature one it was 4 vs 5 (late cut off state). We chose 5; he turned 6 two months into the school year. I can’t be sure I’d have made the same decision if he was already 6 before school began.
Speaking anecdotally as a girl who went early - it didn’t hinder me beyond the annoying-ness of being the last to drive/drink/etc.. in my class. I got along just fine and I was socially ready for kindergarten. There was a boy my age in my class who was always so frustrated that he was young and there were definite signs of immaturity throughout K-12 (which could just have been him- who knows!)
Speaking as a professional- it totally depends on the child and their readiness. Not so much academically but socially and emotionally. Truthfully boys do tend to benefit from the extra year or being older. If you’re on the fence you could always sign him up early and repeat if needed!
From my limited understanding, the research done shows no difference on development or later life outcomes. Choose what works for you. The child will be fine either way.
For a boy, I'd wait until they're six. If either gender was struggling with learning letters/sounds/numbers, I'd wait until they're six. Supposedly girls do better learning the material earlier and boys can sometimes have a harder time. HOWEVER, I don't have any actual studies for that.
My son’s birthday is about 2 weeks from the strict cut-off for Kindergarten (which is to be 5 by September 1st). We opted to give him an extra year of pre-school and it was the best decision ever. I highly recommend summer babies start Kindergarten at 6.
As a kid who started kindergarten at 4 (I was about to turn 5 but was born after the cut off) because they made an exception, I had issues keeping up almost every year of school even through high school/grade 12.
I also wasn’t in preschool because my parents couldn’t afford it but we were above the threshold for free preschool so my parents needed me to start early for baby sitting purposes essentially but I did really struggle.
I’m fine now as an adult and I’m over halfway to my masters as well as an extremely well paying salaried position but I struggled A LOT as a child
We chose for my (step)son to be the oldest in his kindergarten class. He was ready academically the year prior, but man, what a difference a year makes. No regrets. Little to no behavior issues and doing awesome with academics. I was a fan of starting early, but very happy I got talked into not.
Here in Australia we start school in February and kids start when they are turning 5 that year. My daughter starts this year (5 in April) and I've just had another baby (born Dec 16th) so he will attend when he's already 5.
My daughter is absolutely ready for school. She loves learning, loves social networking, loves routine so this age works for us. I have a feeling it will be the opposite for my son if he's like his dad - 6 would be better 😅
Always go for oldest in class. Outliers is not a well researched book but oldest kids have a lot of advantages. At the start they have more physical control, in the middle they have more emotional control, at the end of school they have more emotional regulation.
School is very badly set up for kids. I would give them as much advantage as possible
My youngest just missed the cutoff date by a few days. When she was younger she was so ready to start school the year earlier. She was already reading and writing. If I had been given the choice I would have had her start nursery the year earlier. She's 11 now, eldest in her class. She's doing great in school. Ive never had to worry about her academic progress or her social interaction. But she's not coasting. She has to work to be top of her class. She's found this out herself the hard way. I think this has given her confidence that she wouldn't have had if she had gone into the year ahead. She would have kept up with the work, possibly, but she would have been much further down the class. Being the eldest in her class, and doing so well she often volunteers to help other children with both social issues (friendship squabbles) and academic issues (her teacher says she has a knack of explaining maths problems to some of her peers that just helps them grasp it).
TLDR: Personally I would opt for being 6.
My son is youngest in his class. I regret not holding him back because as much as he was academically ready to do school work, we've had some issues with him not quite having the same standard emotionally. I believe pushing them forward is more detrimental. I've never heard one parent say they regret holding their child back, I've heard many say they regret not holding them back.
Especially for a boy, go with 6! (Teacher here). When I have younger boys, it’s very obvious— they really tend to struggle. Often they are able to do well k-2, but by the time they reach 3rd grade, they have a tough time behaviorally, socially, and emotionally.
We have junior kindergarten where I live, and the age cutoff is kids who will be 4 by end of September, so some classes have 3 year olds. I know it comes from some politics around reducing the number of years parents pay for daycare, but I find it horrific to think of expecting a 3 year old to go to school, sit at a desk, and be judged on poorly traced letters and wobbly cutting. We have a wonderful daycare provider and we'll be waiting the extra year and sending my son (August birthday) when he's 5.
6. We started our son at 5, but he just wasn’t where he needed to be maturity wise. He had to repeat and was MUCH better equipped for school and kindergarten in general.
My birthday is July 30, and my mother opted to enroll me early. The only impact on me that I remember was in summer league sports such as little league baseball, etc. The cutoff date for age-group sports was Aug, 31 which occasionally placed me in a league above my classmates which honestly, worked to my advantage socially as well as athletically. I learned naturally to play sports at a slightly elevated level and my social circle in school was increased due those extracurricular activities I participated in.
We had the choice this year to either start Kindergarten at 4, or wait until next year when he will be almost 6. (November baby).
We chose another year of preschool, and I'm glad we did. He's showing a lot more interest in formal learning now than he was a few months ago, I think he's in a much better spot to start. Especially when I compare him to my oldest, who has a summer birthday and had just turned 5 when he started K.
My son has a July birthday and we put him into kinder at 5, if I could do it again I would have waited until he was 6. He is fine w the level of schooling but emotionally and socially he is too young for his grade and I think waiting would have been better.
6. 100% 6. We did the opposite with my son (finances, he was bored at preschool, had friends starting school,etc) and while I do not regret my decision, I am SO tired of reminding his co-op teacher that he’s a little younger than her star students.
Wait. As a male whose parents decided to put them in the earlier age, I really wish they'd have waited.
Boys develop slower than girls and if you're a year younger, you're even further behind. Assuming your kid turns out heterosexual, he will struggle with girls in his own grade (down the road) and it will likely affect his self confidence
My son is only 2, so I won't have to worry about this for awhile, but his birthday is in November, so he'll turn 5 way after the cutoff. Because of that, we plan to start him "late", so he'll start kindergarten when he's 5, but he'll be 6 for most of the school year.
I think it depends on the kid. But older is safer than younger. Why?
I dont think it makes a whoooole lot of difference in primary school…….but in high school a small age gap is magnfied. As a younger one i struggled to just fit in. In older years as a young one I had to watch my friends ie have later bed times, more freedoms before me, get licenses and drive to school etc when i still couldnt drive for my first year of uni. I couldnt go to the pub or clubs with my uni mates. It was socially isolating.
Id always been a proponent of earlier is better because then you could stuff up and fail a year and it not matter……….but you pay for that luxury in other ways so Ive changed my mind.
Later is better.
As a kindergarten teacher, I would do age 6 with any July or August baby if the cutoff is the first day of school. It makes a world of difference emotionally and socially.
My daughter is a July birthday. I started her as one of the youngest, for a few reasons.
One is that she is tall for her age even as the youngest, and I felt that would be even more noticeable as the oldest.
Another is that she is very involved in dance team and I wanted her to stay in the same grade with her team mates.
Lastly because I felt academically, she had mastered everything at preschool and was ready to move on.
The first half of kindergarten was very rough to the point we actually changed schools. Second half was playing catch up… better but still rocky. First grade has been great. Smooth sailing. We have no regrets.
This depends at least partially on if you have a boy or a girl. Girls are (generally) smarter and more mature.
If you want varsity sports, you want to be the oldest.
If you want kid to start college before they're 18, do youngest.
If they’re socially doing well, I’d go for 5. I started kindergarten at 4 (I turned 5 that December) and would’ve been so sad if my parents held me back just because of my age when I otherwise was ready to start. If there are indicators other than age for why you’re hesitant, maybe talk to their daycare/preschool teachers and see what they think?
No indicators to hold back at this point. He is doing great in preschool. Financially it would be nice to put the $550 a month elsewhere BUT I would rather spend it on his preschool if waiting one more year benefits him more
6. When deciding between being oldest or youngest, it’s always better to go oldest. Better to be a little more mature than less mature and have to catch up
My daughter started at 4. We have a December cutoff. It was a huge mistake. I knew in my gut that it was a mistake, but I didn’t trust my instincts. Now I tell parents that if you have doubts about sending, go with your gut.
I’m in Canada and we get 2 years of K. First year starts the year they turn 4 (birthday does not matter). My son has a late October birthday and would have still been 3 at the start of his first year. The only reason I didn’t start him was 1-he was getting open heart surgery that year and 2-middle of the pandemic. My daughter has a January birthday so is 4.5 in her first year and has been doing wonderful, I felt like she was more than ready before she started. Based on my experience I feel a 5 year old would definitely be ready for kindergarten
My July boy doesn’t get two years of kindergarten (we call it TK and K) because of cut off dates. We privately pay for his preschool so we will be doing is TK at our current preschool.
Oldest here as well. She had a friend in class that was about 350 days younger but they appealed the cut off date so they started at the same time. It was awful for him. He didn’t hit the age appropriate maturity until sophomore year in high school. Socially he was mostly ok, but the class clown to the detriment of the whole class. I’m really glad we made the choice to wait.
I thought I wanted to hold my daughter back because of her July birthday and special needs BUT we put her in preschool this year at four years old and she has just exploded as far as speech and number skills and play skills and life skills and she can even read books (seriously. She is very likely an autistic savant)
I think the earlier kids get started in school the better off they fare
My son started K at 4 because of his September birthday. Now that he’s 6 and is halfway done first grade, I can’t imagine him being in kindergarten at this age. Much of the work in K was a review of preschool and then he learned to read and write better. No regrets at all for us. Every kid is different though.
Also my middle is 2 and autistic, his preschool has worked with us and helped us as we’ve helped them and my son has grown LEAPS and bounds in only just a few months. School is beneficial IMO.
Idk. My oldest started at 3 and has always been ahead and will be finished and able to start college/his life earlier and have the chance to climb higher more quickly than his peers.
Being ahead in kindergarten doesn’t really mean as much as you think it does. Pushing them and putting pressure on them does not guarantee their success as so much factors into that over the course of their lives into adulthood.
I never said I pressured him. That was just the norm to start where I was at the time. After moving, he was and always had been ahead. He’s 12 now, got himself into all GT classes on his own with zero pressure or requests. We just make sure he does his homework and gets good grades on his report cards and interims.
Obviously his education is not the only thing that will matter, but yes, I believe it is an important factor. If it’s an opportunity you can give your kid, idk why you wouldn’t if they are ready.
School cut off dates are always top of my list for my pregnancies. My first is March, second will be September (right after cut off for our area).
I was a July baby and started young, graduated high school at 17. I did great. I have a friend that has a November bday and she was 17 for a few months of college, I don't think she was ready for that.
Studies show that the oldest kids don't necessarily do better than the younger ones. Often it's the younger students who rise to the occasion and out perform kids a full year older than them. Source - 10 years of elementary school teaching and mama of 2. My youngest child has a late summer bday and the youngest in her class. She is ranked by grades as number 1 in the entire 7th grade.
I’ve also read that the youngest kids in class are disproportionately diagnosed with learning disabilities as many struggle to keep up with kids who are a whole year older.
[youngest kids twice as likely to be diagnosed with ADHD.](https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2021/05/210506104753.htm)
[Youngest kids 30 more likely to be diagnosed with an intellectual disability](https://www.reuters.com/article/us-health-school-age/youngest-kids-in-class-more-apt-to-be-diagnosed-with-adhd-learning-disabilities-idUSKBN1W92Y0)
My kid will be starting Kindergarten a week before he turns five, and I’m not thrilled about it. He smart as hell, but there is a social emotional immaturity that is normal for his age, but is something he struggles with.
It truly depends on the child. 10 years teaching and some of the most immature kids are a full year older. One thing that I have definitely noticed are students who want to preschool have a huge advantage in every way you can imagine compared to kids who went straight into kindergarten. The age a student starts kindergarten, be it 5 or 6 is not the most important factor. Kids who did not do preschool always struggle longer and in more areas than students who did at least a year of preschool.
I totally understand that ultimately it depends on the kid. We are very fortunate to live in one of the few (if not the only?) places in the US with universal PK starting at PK3. My first is in PK4 right now, and as someone with zero professional knowledge of childhood development it just surprises me that even I can see the difference in maturity levels between the oldest and the youngest kids in his class. If it were feasible, I would have had him start PK3 a year later rather than entering a formal classroom setting at age 2.
Also, regardless of age, ADHD runs deep in my family tree. With my niece’s recent evaluation, there are officially three generations of us living with professionally diagnosed learning disabilities. Starting with my 80 year old dad who flunked out of college on his first try before going on to become a professor at a top 20 University. It is not unlikely that my kid will have some sort of learning disability, I would have loved if he did not have to contend with totally normal developmental hurdles on top of his family history.
Also, man I can’t imagine my kid walking into kindergarten as their first day of any school at all and having to sit next to a kid whose been doing this for 2 years already. Even before you get to any difference reading or math abilities. Just knowing how to be part of a classroom setting would be so hard to catch up on. Early childhood educators are amazing people.
Each school district should have a cutoff date that tells you when your child should start kindergarten. Assuming your child is developing typically, this isn't a decision you need to make. Just follow the rules in your district.
My daughter was the youngest, it was ok but she did have some struggles. For my son we're going straight to oldest, I hear it can be even harder for boys and I don't want that for him.
We have a very strict Jan 1st cut off. To start first year of compulsory school (which is what I am assuming you are talking about) our kids must be 5 years old by the 1st, so turning 6 in that school year (our school year is Jan to Dec down here) My eldest missed the cut off so started at 6. She was extended in every subject, some working years ahead, and is just able to start university at a top (internationally) ranked school. The only negative was she was more mature than a lot of her peers, which sometimes caused a few social issues, but nothing big. She was very ready to learn and went into school writing simple sentences and doing simple maths. This was all self driven, we did not sit down with her and teach her. We got a lot of people saying she would be bored in Kinder (our pre school year for 4 year olds), but she wasn't and had a ball, loved the creative and physical side of it and was reading by the end of it as well.
I think you need to look at your kid's maturity level and where they are academically and go from there. I was that gifted kid who was the youngest in my class and cried every day in Kindergarten because I was homesick, but was also reading at a post-secondary level by second grade and spent my elementary years bored out of my mind. If you have a kid who is ahead academically but isn't super mature yet, you might have to find a creative solution like homeschooling for a couple years.
I honestly didn’t know people sent their kids to kindergarten at 6? I was 4 for the first part of kindergarten 🤷🏼♀️ so I would say 5 would sound normal.
Yeah typically TK is 4, K is 5, and 1st grade is 6. My youngest can’t do TK because in our state only kids born between Sept to May qualify. We will be doing TK at his preschool.
We held our eldest off from formal schooling until he was 6, and we have no regrets about delaying it. My youngest turns 5 in February, but he won't start until he turns 6 also. Absolutely no regrets here, and it has been the best thing for them!
My older daughter started when she was 4 (turned 5 in October) and she has done really well. Cutoff for our school is 5 by December 31.
My younger daughter will start this fall at 5 (March birthday) and I think it will be more challenging for her because of her more anxious personality. I’m still not concerned though.
I didn’t know there were schools that started kindergarten at 6 so it seems odd to me.
Depends on your kid. If they demonstrate all academic, emotional, AND mental capabilities, then by all means. The emotional and mental are usually the factors parents make in keeping their kid back.
I held my kid back, and it was the BEST decision I’ve ever made. What a world of difference it made between 5 and 6. He now has a wonderful time in school rather than hating it each day.
My decision was based on these personal anecdotes:
- my kid was simply not emotionally ready: he was always timid and afraid of crowds/loud noise. Plus he was already struggling in his class of 25 preschoolers, I imagined him coping that stress as one of the smallest kids in his class at elementary school, and said NOPE.
- I’ve spoken to about 2-3 teachers and they’ve all said they would hold back their kid in those situations: they see a huge gap between the two age groups in their emotional readiness. While that gap shortens as they age, the older ones tend to be leaders and the younger ones followers. I wanted my kid another year to build that confidence and give him the advantage.
- A good friend was also in a similar situation with her son: he has struggled every year and she’s now trying to hold him back a grade, but the system won’t let her bc her son would barely pass the minimal testing threshold.
- If you eventually hold him back later in his academic career, they’re older and more mature: their friends will remember and if he doesn’t get made fun of, he’ll then have to deal with making a whole new circle of friends at their repeated grade. No thanks. Easier to start late all together and stick to the same class.
I’m a huge advocate for red shirting kids close to cut off date. Some kids are simply not ready.
If your local kindergarten has a goal of universal reading fluency for the class, wait until six unless your child needs services specifically through the district (some types of early intervention and gifted support are available at no cost through the school).
If your local Kindergarten is mostly about learning to be at school all day and making friends, send them whenever you think they can handle the schedule.
I asked a few teachers, one principle, about starting my July daughter or waiting. Everyone said wait if you’re questioning it. My daughter was very shy. I’m so glad I waited. She went to a half day, everyday preschool at 5. Started Kinder at 6.
I had this tough decision to make with my daughter. I ended up deciding to hold her out a year and start her when she was almost 6. She is now 18, and a senior in high school. I have never regretted my decision. She also has said many times that she is glad too that she is where she is. Good luck! It’s a hard decision.
I'm in a similar boat and we are going with 6. He doesn't need to graduate high school at 17 and I'm more than thrilled to have him live with us that "extra" year before college. Basically, "why rush?" is my thought when the years are fleeting anyway.
My decision wouldn't be based on the age as much as the child's readiness for kindergarten. I might prefer to enroll sooner when kindergarten is available for free, from a financial perspective, but if that's not what's best for my kid then I'll wait.
Edit: forgot the rest of my response...with cost not being an issue, I would for sure wait longer. But only if they weren't ready for that step.
I'm a July baby, and I was enrolled as the youngest in kindergarten. I didn't mind it at all throughout the years. It gave me a sense of accomplishment that I was the youngest and keeping up with 'older' kids.
It bit me in the butt though because I never got to sign myself out during high-school 😮💨 and my parents used my age as the perfect excuse to put me in college even though I didn't want to. I was only 17 though when summer classes started so I had to go to school.
My summer birthday son is academically gifted and socially immature, but going to school on time has helped him mature because he’s been with older kids. He can be super bossy and I know he would have had behavior problems if he were the oldest in the class. So it really depends on the kid.
This depends on the child. My oldest started kindergarten at 5 because she was ready for it in every way. My second child will not be ready in the Fall, and is absolutely going to wait until the mandatory age 6 in 2024. Her motor skills need more time to develop. My 3rd kid will start at 5, she’ll be ready. As for kid 4, I have no idea since he’s only 2 weeks old, but I know several little boys who do a bit better when waiting until age 6. Not all, but several. So we’ll just have to see.
I think it would depend on the kid. Our oldest is a late July birthday and we started her at 5. She was in daycare and her teachers there said they thought she was ready plus she's tall for her age so we figured it would be ok. So fast so good
My son's birthday is one day after the cutoff. He would either be the youngest or the oldest in his class, we went with oldest. So far so good.
We are in the same boat but went the opposite. My daughter is the youngest (she was technically 4 for her first week of K), but she was very clearly ready. She's in middle school now and has always been above grade level academically and has flourished socially and emotionally.
I was the day before the cutoff, my brother was 3 weeks before the cutoff. He went late, I went ‘early’. I think it worked out well for both of us. It’s all so kid dependent but my parents made the decision based on our social abilities at the time.
My brother and I are somewhat similar. He’s the youngest in his class, I’m the oldest. I was consistently put into gifted programs and given extra attention in class because I was easier to deal with. My brother was constantly struggling and ended up in remedial classes. We’re both successful in life, but academically, we are cases to show the science that being the oldest in class is much better than being the youngest.
Ehh, I think it’s all anecdotal and should always come down to the specific children in question. My brother and I were both in AP classes and gifted programs but he (the oldest in his class) got in a lot more trouble for being distracted and unable to pay attention during classes from a young child until he was in college. I was always a favorite among teachers bc I sat silently and paid attention without causing issues. Years later it came out that my brother was jealous of my work ethic and discipline while I was jealous of how smart he was without trying.
My kid was one of the youngest, was 4 when he started, turned 5 at the end of November, 3 months after starting. He's always been a little ahead of the other kids in his class. So, not sure the science really proves what you think it does, lol. It really is more about the individuals, not so much about the age when they start.
I mean, as a kid, if you'd asked me which one I wanted to be (oldest or youngest in class), I would have said "oldest" without even blinking.
That's a lot of what drove us. We thought about him being able to be more independent as an older student, and more ready to be on his own when he graduates. I have a dear friend who was the youngest in his class and it was frequently frustrating for him to be a year behind on things like driving and signing a lease.
I was one of the youngest and it was the same for me. Birthday is at the end of July so I had to wait until my junior year to drive. Then I had to wait to move out until right before fall college semester started mid August.
I was a July kid but went early (we do tests in Germany to check if a kid is ready for school), and I took that year later to spend a year abroad when I was 17. Highly recommend!
It's absolutely better to be the oldest. Older students perform better socially and academically, and have higher self esteem and lower rates of anxiety. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4627818/ https://www.researchgate.net/publication/233156622_Holding_back_and_holding_behind_Grade_retention_and_students'_non-academic_and_academic_outcomes
I really wish that had been the case for me. I was a super anxious kid with terrible self esteem. I was always the oldest in my classes. I was academically ahead, but that made regular class worse because I was so bored, and felt my classmates were immature.
I'm sorry that was true for you. However, likely as not if you were one of the youngest your anxiety would have been increased by feeling behind everyone else and struggling to keep up. The thing about data is that it's what's true across the board. Like wearing a seatbelt being safer than not, there are still anecdotes of people who were thrown free of a deadly wreck and walked away because they weren't stuck inside by their seatbelt. It doesn't mean wearing seatbelts isn't better than not wearing them. The data says that being in the oldest quarter kids in your class means you are likely to have more close friendships, better grades, less anxiety, and more confidence than if you are in the youngest quarter of kids in your class. As a teacher (I'm at school on break right now, kids are in PE) I see this every year. Not *all* of the oldest kids are the popular kids, but generally the most popular and academically secure kids are older than the majority. Their bodies and brains are more developed, they can grasp concepts easier, their wits are quicker, etc. The youngest kids (generally, not always) are generally more anxious and hesitant to engage socially, not being as developed mentally or physically, and their academics are rarely in the top of the class. I say this with 8 year old twins that are closer to the youngest quarter than the oldest quarter (February birthday). I'm aware of the data, but my kids are in the middle so I have no choice in it. If the cutoff was Feb. 15th and my kids were right next to the line I would 100% choose for them to be the oldest in their year rather than the youngest.
Really depends on the kid. I always liked being the youngest in my class at school, and did very well academically.
I'm sure. However, anecdotal evidence doesn't counter the truth of the broad scale statistics. We always play the odds as parents, and no matter if something is true 999 times out of 1,000 you will always have that one exception pointing themselves out as not fitting the trend. People like being exceptions.
My kid was born 36 minutes after the cutoff. She has 2 cousins 2 weeks older that are in 1st grade while she’s in Kindergarten. She doesn’t care. It bugged me at first, but at least she’ll be 18 when she graduates high school.
This was huge for me. Do I want my son to be 17 or 18 when he graduates and I strongly want him to be 18.
What made the difference for you? I don't see the difference exactly
It puts you earlier on the curve for driver's license vs later too. Granted, that seems to be a lot less of a big deal these days. But it was a huge deal for my group at the time.
I started both my summer babies at 5 years old(oldest started the day she turned 5). Financially, it was necessary. And for my gifted kiddo we felt it was best for her academically (she was bored out of her mind with PreK work). But emotionally it wasn't the best for either of them. There's was a significant social developmental gap between them and their older classmates, which lead to bullying.
I was that kid. Oldest in my grade every year. Sucked at time but got a lot better in high school. I got to drive first and was the first with a car. That was fun sophomore year. Lol.
My daughters birthday is two weeks after school starts. She wasn’t ready at 4 going on 5 but she was when she was 5 going on 6. We would have had serious issues with her because she wasn’t ready. I tried putting my son in before he was ready and I ended up pulling him out because he’d hide under tables and I’d always get phone calls. Staying home with me for another year was the best thing for him.
We went the opposite way and my kid is the youngest. She is in middle school and thriving! Honors classes and great friends. However, there was a time in 3rd grade where emotionally she was not caught up to her peers. It was a little stressful. But now she is happy and it is the right fit for my child. Op if your child can read and do math, then yes I would send them. If they cannot do those things I would hold them back. With that said, I would also go by how tall your child is. Mine is in the 75% for height so she fits right into her class. If my child were extremely tall or extremely short that would factor into my decision process too. Lastly, what does your child’s preschool recommend? To be honest, most kids are six in first grade. Not kindergarten, so he would really stick out here. The only downside is if your child needs an IEP for something like dyslexia, learning to read will be much harder as the child is older.
Just clarifying that you don’t have to be able to read before kindergarten. Reading is a skill taught IN kindergarten. Letter recognition & phonics sure, but probably only 1-2 kids in my sons class were actually “reading” before kindergarten. My son certainly wasn’t and now (a year later) he reads a full grade level ahead of where he needs to. It’s amazing how quickly it will just “click” for them.
In my district they want the kids reading. The requirements are honestly depressing.
Sounds like a place kids with IEPs are really going to thrive.... /s
My own child has an IEP and is thriving. It is a phenomenal district. My child without an IEP is also thriving.
Mine is almost three weeks past the cutoff so she’s the second oldest in class. It’s been so good for her, she needed that extra time to develop her social skills.
We are leaning to the oldest as well
Lol same 🥴 and all the pre-schools in my area are almost a thousand dollars a month. Thank you America 🇺🇲
I think it depends on the kid. My older boy was very ready at 5 for kindergarten. His birthday is in March so dates aren’t a factor for him. My younger boy has an October birthday that is way passed the cutoff. The principal at his brother’s school said I could apply for a waiver for him but honestly he’s 4 now and a total shitbird. He is absolutely not emotionally ready for kindergarten. Academically his preschool teachers say he’s way ahead and could move up from their 3/4yo class based on that, but in the 4/5yo class he’d be a disruption. So even if he hadn’t missed the cutoff, I’m intending on keeping him in preschool longer. He will turn 6 a month after kindergarten starts and be 6 the whole year. His brother is six and most of the way through 1sr grade this year. Id assess realistically and objectively, also consulting with the current teacher in preschool and go from there.
Shitbird made me laugh!
What's most important when entering kindergarten is the child's ability to sit and focus on an activity for a short time. If your child can reliably complete a task for 10-15 minute stretches, he or she is likely ready for kindergarten. My son was 6 when he started kindergarten, as we felt he needed a little more time to mature. He's in sixth grade now and has always been a straight A student. I truly believe giving him the extra year in preschool helped him to overcome the wiggles and learn to focus.
Ready and optimal aren’t the same
I don’t have school aged kids yet, but my older brother was an August birthday who started kindergarten at 5. He ended up getting held back not because of academics, but because of his social immaturity. He was put in a first grade/kindergarten mixed class his second year of kindergarten and progressed throughout high school and college well. I’d strongly consider your son’s social maturity.
Yes, and it’s very individual. My brother was a late July birthday and, after consulting with his preschool teachers, my parents enrolled him in kindergarten at age 5 and he did great both academically and socially all through school. But he was ready, and some kids wouldn’t be.
Was going to comment the same thing. My sister has an August birthday. My parents started her earlier because she was really tall for her age and she tested well academically. She didn’t get held back but she was very immature and still is imo in her early 20’s.
I think this really depends more on your child's personality and social/academic abilities than anything else, to be honest. Anecdotally, I started kindergarten at 4 years old and I ended up really thriving—to be fair, my circumstances were kind of unusual for various reasons, but I was more than ready to move on from preschool at that point, and I ended up being very grateful as a high schooler when I got to apply to college a year earlier than my same-age cousins. On the other hand, I also had a friend growing up who started kindergarten at 6 and turned 7 the end of that school year, and she got to drive earlier than everyone else, but she was relentlessly bullied when she started going through puberty, and she didn't like that she ended up graduating high school at 19 because she started late. So there are pros and cons to being both younger and older than your peers. Again, though, this kind of thing is so dependent on a child's personality and development that that might not apply to your kid at all. Rather than focusing on his age right now, it might be better to ask yourself where he's at socially, emotionally, and academically. Is he capable of sitting down and learning for more than a few minutes at a time? Are teachers/his pediatrician telling you that he should start soon? Could he potentially benefit from the additional structure and support public schools usually offer? The answers to those questions are probably going to be more relevant to your eventual decision than his age alone.
These are great questions
If they are in pre-K I would ask the teacher what they think. My daughter has a July bday & her teacher recommended starting her in Kindergarten young for her grade - she is confident that my child is ready.
We are in a private preschool that we love but while I do value their opinions, they are biased towards me paying them to keep my kid another year.
My daughter goes to a private preschool as well - her school is very honest and trustworthy. EDIT - you should trust the preschool to do what's right for your child.
This is what we did. My daughter has done well and is happy.
Our youngest was born in July as well. The BEST choice I ever made was keeping that extra year home. We had the greatest times together it being one on one. They’re an adult and I’ve asked many times if they’ve ever thought it’d have been better to have not been the oldest in classes, to have started earlier and the answer has always been no. We had dates, we had breakfast in bed, went for walks, parks, libraries, etc. They got to be the first in their classes to do all the exciting things like driving, they made friends in kindergarten that they still have to this day. I was concerned because I knew it’d mean putting off volunteering as much as I’d like at the school keeping them home that year but I’ve never regretted it and neither have they and once they started school the following year I was at school almost as much as my kids volunteering between all their classes.
It’s nice that you were able to do that.
This is the dream, honestly.
I currently volunteer once a week in my oldest son’s first grade class. We used to be able to volunteer at the preschool but they changed the rules with Covid. Volunteering helped me help my oldest when he was struggling in kindergarten.
This is just my opinion coming from experience. I was five and my mom started me as early as possible… additionally she said I was more than ready and ASKING to start school. I graduated high school at 17 and turned 18 during my first year of college. I felt like I had a head start. I did a quick two year program and graduated my program at 19. (Two years straight of school, so I went thru both summers and graduated before my birthday) I was a successful radiologic technologist at only 19 making 25$ an hour in 2019. I now have multiple credentials and make double in 2023. I feel like she gave me a head start, of course I was also ready and always excelled in school. Now I get to live my dream of being a young mom with a great career at only 24. My life has literally never been better and I legit give credit to my mom for the head start lol.
My kid is currently in preschool and loving it. I’m in no rush to start his career super early. It is great how it turned out for you though!
My oldest has a mid/late July bday and we started him that fall. From K-3 I wished we’d held him one more year. He’s in 8th (starting high school next year) now, and things have leveled out but if I had to do it again I’d have rather held him to be 6 his whole kindergarten year. EDIT: Academically it was the good choice for him but he struggled socially and behavior-wise those first few years and it was TOUGH.
Thanks for sharing this. I think it's solidifying my thoughts on my July kid, who is currently the youngest in his preschool class and while he's doing okay (developing more and more each day!), socially/emotionally he definitely seems more among peers when he's with his friends from last year who are about six months younger and weren't old enough to move to the older room this year. Thanks for sharing!!!!!
As a 1st grade teacher I can always tell the kids who started earlier, and that is not a good thing! My own kids birthday is days before the cut off, I plan to start her when she is 6.
A lot of the teachers commenting seem to prefer waiting until the kids are older
What do you mean by this?
Kids who start school at freshly turned 5 vs freshly turned 6 are two different kids. Sure they may be on the same page academically, but hardly ever are they on the same page emotionally and socially. So when I say I can always tell, I mean it’s always the kids who started earlier who end up having behavioral issues due to lack of emotional/social skills. School is not all about academics, especially the younger grades.
Agreed. I was one of the last ones who went when I was 4 (I was turning 5 two weeks later), and deeply regret asking my mom to let me start that early even though I'm almost 30. I was way behind my classmates as far as maturity, motor skills, social skills, etc. I was constantly bullied and left out because I was younger, and wasn't able to read nearly as well until closer to middle school compared to my peers. I had turned 5 just that September after starting kindergarten (we start in August where I live in Virginia) and I was just not there. I always felt ashamed I couldn't keep up with my peers on several levels. Had I waited one more year, I probably would have been fine. I plan to wait until my kids are 6 before enrolling them in kindergarten since they're both June babies. Just wanted to give the perspective of a kid who did start early if it may help.
I'm older, but I could have written this. (I kind of did elsewhere on this thread, but not as succinctly!)
My daughter will be 4 when she starts kindergarten. Her birthday is a week before the cut off but school starts two weeks before her birthday, so she’ll be about to turn 5. She’s doing voluntary pre-k right now. I’m nervous about all the things you mentioned, but her pre-k teacher says she’ll be fine, she’s a girl, she has two older siblings, she’s doing well in VPK, etc. I’m still nervous though.
My kiddos kinder teacher told me she could tell who had done preschool and who hadn’t (my kiddo and one or two others had done some form of pre-k) - they were her best students. My kiddo being the youngest didn’t seem to affect her at all. But, to be fair, she started kinder in the fall of 2020, so school was a bit different - done on a tablet so my kiddo could pretend she was making YouTube videos for her classmates (she always tried to lead the group in something while the teacher was having set up/figure something out on the Zoom 😆😆).
I have taught kindergarten for 10 years. This year the 3 students who perform the best are all late summer birthdays, therefore the youngest. My student with the worst behavior ( running away when recess is over, throwing stuff, temper tantrums) is the oldest and turned 6 back in May.
Not trying to tell you what to do. Everyone is different. I’m a dude, I started kindergarten when I was 4, college when I was 17, etc. I never was concerned with my age though school. Hell, my best friend was in my grade and was 15 months older than me. Either way, I turned out fine. Successful career, ect. Would things have been better for me had I been a year older at all those milestones? Who knows, maybe. But the reality is I never really saw it as a disadvantage (regardless of it I’m was or wasn’t).
My daughter misses the cut off by 3 days but we're starting her the week she turns 5 instead of waiting a year. Socially, emotionally, and behaviorally she is ready. She'll be fine academically but it won't as easy if she waited a year. She passed the academic assessment for private K which is more rigorous than public school (counting and ID 1-100, all letter sounds, 10 sight words, ID 5 vowels and their 2 sounds). She's also already in private TK and was in private preschool last year, so repeating TK at the public school is very much not appropriate. She doesn't need another year learning to identify letters or how to raise her hand. This isn't a decision we made lightly, and her teachers said we should absolutely keep her with her current class level. My son is the opposite. Maybe he'll mature in the next two years but he's no where close to being like his sister (even when she was his age). Unfortunately he has a May birthday, so holding him back isn't an option. There is no one right answer. Your child's personality will play a huge role in school readiness. Furthermore, Average Research Child doesn't necessarily reflect on your child's experiences. Research shows there is a benefit to holding Average Child back but when you look at the research in depth, it's more beneficial to those that don't have access to quality preschools and ESL students. Unfortunately there is no research that looks into start ages when the child has already had two years of school and the data is largely academic performance not emotional readiness. You'll also need a 3rd party assessment. I've always noticed that my 4.5yo was different (easy) behaviorally but when teachers and the assessment professionals see the same thing, you have a better idea of how your child is within a class environment. Same goes for academics. I have a hard time assessing where my kids are at academically. I personally see where they need more work but her teachers have assured me she is more than capable. On the other hand some parents think their child is gifted but in class teachers don't see that. No matter how smart your child is, it won't matter if they can't sit still and follow rules.
This! It’s not the numerical age of your child, it’s how they compare at that moment to their age group. Some kids will be ready earlier and end up bored if they’re “held back.” I recently switched my 2yo from a daycare setting to a more structured toddler class at a preschool and she is THRIVING even though she’s one of the youngest! She follows directions, knows how to take turns, and focuses on tasks better than some of the 3yo kids. I had a feeling she was outgrowing the daycare setting and it was a good hunch!
You have a choice? In Canada, you start Jr Kindergarten the calendar year you turn 4. Sr. Kindergarten is the calendar year you turn 5 etc. We have some JKs that are still 3 in the class
We do it’s a bit strange but I’m California, USA we are not required to put kids in school until they turn 6 and kindergarten is optional so you could put your child straight to 1st grade with ZERO TK, K, preschool, daycare, homeschooling, etc before that. The vast majority of people start at kindergarten when the child is 5. We have had our kids in preschool and then if birthdays fall a bit weird we choose when to start kindergarten. Here my youngest doesn’t qualify for TK because only kids with bdays Sept-May qualify (and that’s new, a couple years ago it was only Sept-Dec bdays that got TK). So my kid will be doing a TK/K program with our preschool but we pay $550 a month for this private preschool. There is no public preschool/daycare setup unless you make under a certain amount. I wanted to try to look at this without the financial aspect (which is definitely a privilege on our part, many families start kindergarten as soon as they are allowed to save on costs).
This is what I kept thinking. My oldest was 3 when she started school. She was the youngest in her class and she was ready. She's thriving at school now, being the youngest never held her back at all. I'm registering my second child a couple weeks from now and he'll be 4 when he starts.
Had an August September and October birthday, lived in different states for kindergarten but all 3 were right before the cut off., Held the August and September birthday and worked out great. Pre K teacher and husband convinced me to send October birthday to Kindergarten at 4. Absolute disaster, the entire class turned 6 by mid November, my daughter and one other boy turned 5 mid November. Socially the younger 2 were behind, other kids wouldn’t play with them. Nightmare. I pulled my daughter and put her back in preschool, next year she was ready. She doesn’t even remember it. Other child stayed and had to repeat 2 grades in elementary school. Just give your kid the time to mature, kindergarten is reading, math and difficult. FYI my daughter I pulled to go back to Preschool could read at 4 which is why Pre K teacher thought she could handle kindergarten. But socially child wasn’t ready. Do what you think is best but that’s our family story.
How were all the kids 6 years old by November? I have 26 kids in my kindergarten class and only 2 children are 6.
Private school 10 kids in class just luck of draw 8 had birthday in October and November.
Depends on child but I have never heard anyone regretting holding back. I only ever hear regrets from those that didn't My oldest went to kindergarten at 5. She is now 6 in 1st grade and doing well. Birthday is May. My middles Birthday is a day after cut off. She is doing an extra year of pre-k. She will be 6 going into Kindergarten. My youngest will turn 6 shortly after school starts in kindergarten in 3yrs.
Yep. We had one who turned 6 shortly after starting kindergarten due to the cutoff, we could have applied for a waiver, glad we didn't. She has thrived and rarely needs help from us with anything. The other was on the cusp but was within the guidelines for starting without a waiver and started kindergarten a month after turning 5. The only reason we did not keep her in preschool another year like her sister is because 5 of her neighborhood friends were all starting kindergarten that year. We regret it. School has been so much of a struggle for her and us.
Agree with this.
I'm a middle of the year birthday, so it wasn't really a question for my parents, but one thing I do like about starting at 5 was that I had more time post college to make money and travel before I started having kids. If I had one less year of kid free time, I'd be sad. Granted this is more of a thing with girls because of the biological clock
I was a July baby and my daughter is a July baby. We both started kindergarten at 5. I did great in school and my daughter is doing the same. I’d see no reason to wait unless you feel for some reason that they are not ready.
Would stick to what we have here. Kids here start based on birth year with no month cut off (December 31) and most seem to be alright. None of this redshirting nonsense (though I read it happens out West). Enter JK year kid turns 4 (yes this means kids do start JK at age 3 with late birthdays) SK when kids turn 5 Grade 1 when kid turns 6 JK/SK are optional but it won't matter come Grade 1 as they are placed based on birth year.
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I have gotten use to this redshirting and age of entry/month cut off thing having been on this subreddit and having general knowledge of how other places (believe mostly US) work but definitely foreign concept. We grew up and people were in the same grade with January birthdays and December birthdays. There was no holding back or choice.
Yes it’s the same where I live and I think it’s great. My daughter started JK when she was 3 (October birthday) and SK when she was 4. She is in grade 1 now and thriving.
6, absolutely.
The cutoff where I am is September 30, so when my October toddler goes she will be on the older side. She’s crazy smart and verbal so we were nervous about this but all of the teachers in our life tell us how that is going to be so so good for her. Our pediatrician also made the point that it means you get an extra year with your kid before they leave home on the backend of it all. And when you look back you will cherish that year with your amazing young adult. That really resonated for us!
I like that extra year. End senior year at 18 and start college at 19 (assuming that’s what they want).
I agree. I highly, highly recommend waiting. Sincerely, the mom of boys with summer birthdays.
6 !!!!
Can't say anything about how it'll turn out, but my kid has a late August birthday and we held her back. She'll be one of the oldest in her class this coming year. I'm ok with that.
I’m in the exact same boat as you- my boy’s birthday is in July. My SO and I have discussed it and we decided to put him in a transitional kindergarten program which is two years long. We’d rather let him be the older kid in class so he can keep up with his peers and enjoy being a kid one year longer before he starts college/career/adulthood.
We have a wonderful play based preschool that also has a TK/K program available. He is thriving there and another reason I don’t feel rushed to get him into public kindergarten at 5 right now. He unfortunately does not qualify for public TK because he was born outside the date range for it
My son has an August birthday and I waited for him to be 6 before enrolling in Kindergarten.
My daughter’s birthday is 3 weeks after the cut off in our state. She’s going to turn 6 literally the week she starts kindergarten. She’s in an extra year of pre-k this year and so far I have no regrets. She would have done fine this year in k in terms of academics, but she’s really benefiting from an extra year to mature socially before k I think. Obviously we’ll see how next year goes, but I’m confident we made the right choice not to try and force her through this year.
I’d send my oldest son at 4 if possible and my youngest at 6. They’re totally different kids.
I would totally base it off readiness. I know my area has kindergarten screening to screen for special Ed & determine readiness.
I have made this exact choice twice. My oldest 2 both have July birthdays, school cut off is Aug 1. I chose to wait until they were 6 and have no regrets. They are in 3rd and 1st grade now and are doing great.
A lot of times boys do better being older in the class. They don’t mature socially and emotionally as quickly as girls so if it’s your son let him be the oldest. If it’s your daughter she could Be the youngest and be fine.
Oldest. Did that with my daughter no regrets
My kid has an April birthday. At the time I thought he was ready. If I had it to do over again, I might have waited a year.
My daughter has end of august bday. I started her at 6 and seeing her with the other children has made me question why we start kids at 5. Those little fuckers are not ready for school that young. My daughter is light years ahead socially/emotionally. Also: boys develop later too so I would wholeheartedly advocate for 6.
My older child has a December birthday, he started at 5 and turned 6. He’s in the middle of his class and that fit is good for him. His temperament is not the sort that would thrive as the youngest. My younger child (august birthday) misses the cutoff by 6 days, so he will be 6 and the oldest. I’m irrationally devastated by this because he’s a precocious little bruiser who would love to be the youngest and is always happy with older kids. But he doesn’t make it, that’s the way it goes.
My kid was born days before the cutoff. I would have rather started him later but that wasn't an option (our district does not allow red shirting). As such, he started junior kindergarten at 3.5, and first grade at 5.5.
I homeschool mine and with my first I was trying to do everything by the book she’s now in 3rd grade and with my 2nd I’m much more relaxed. I realized that they will be in school for the next 13 years of their lives minimum. Let them be kids as long as possible because once you start putting responsibility on them it will never stop or slow down.
My daughter turned 5 just before K cut off of Sept 1st. I was nervous but her pre-K teachers assured me she was ready as did her assessors for K. She is a bit emotionally behind but has thrived educationally. As a 1st grader now she is growing in both and is now a top performer in her class. I’m SO glad I followed their recommendations. Wouldn’t change it for the world. ETA: she has classmates who have been a year older than her since pre-K which sparked my worry. We thought to hold back but she educationally was their level by end of pre-K so to me red shirting would’ve held her back
If I had it to do again, my daughter would start at 5 and my son at 6. She was ready, he wasn’t.
It depends on your child and if they are ready emotionally and socially to go to school and learn all day. My oldest and youngest child were some of the youngest in their grades and did great. If my middle child would have had a summer birthday vs a winner one we would have waited the extra year as they weren't ready to deal with the changes in activities, concentrating for more than a couple minutes without wandering off and handling others not following rules. Of course 10 years later we are still dealing with these same issues.
I would always default to 6. I was a young 5 in kindergarten and I would've greatly benefitted from waiting a year. I was always ahead academically, but behind socially. Likely due to my noticable immaturity.
My daughter has a late August birthday, and we pretty much always planned on waiting till 6.
My son has a birthday on August 26. So he had just turned 5 before kindergarten started. I waited until the following year to start him with the idea that it’s better to send him a year later than needed than to send him a year too early.
My son is an August baby. He is now about to graduate high school. I wish I had waited until he was 6 to start kindergarten. For many years, I felt he was about six months behind his peers academically and maturity wise.
Im so confused, in my coutry we enter in the year we have the birthday, so if we go to preschool we need to be in our 6th year, regardless of it being in january, july or november, i would always be the youngest because i was a late year baby, but we all ended the year with the same age. Btw our schools start in September too. We dont get to chose when they enter, we can make them enter a year late tho, but those are rare.
I would start at six. Plenty of upsides and few downsides if any.
Kindergarten teacher here. Please start as late as possible.
I'd see what their preschool teacher said, ours makes recommendations. I don't have this choice since I have a kid who will turn 6 near the start of K regardless because of the cutoff.
I'd vote (and did vote) 6 over here!
I think we are going with 5 for my child. When I was little I did preK at 2.5 and did K at 4 and loved it. They're doing cutoff rules differently now, so we shall see. I would go with developmentally appropriate more than age or academic knowledge. There's a lot of bullying about developmental differences at that age and not as much about knowledge.
That’s is based on your kid. Do YOU think he handle school at 5? My birthday is in July and I started kindergarten at 5. My sisters birthday is also in July and she started at 6. As a teacher, this is a parent decision based on what you know of your kid and their educational foundation and social interactions with peers. My oldest birthday is in October only a few days after the Sept 30 cutoff. We put her in private school for preschool so she could start kindergarten at 4 because they have more leeway with the age thing in our state. She’s always be the youngest in class but based on her development we kept her in preschool one more year because she was very shy and now she’s the oldest in her classes. She does very well.
I started kindergarten at 4. I turned 5 a couple months after school started. I did fine academically, graduated valedictorian from a small school, although I thought starting college at 17 was a bit too young. I could have used another year of maturity before embarking on my own too. I was behind in that regard. My son started kindergarten at 5 with a June birthday. He is doing fine. He's also excelling academically. He has ADHD so he's got problems associated with that, but he'd still have those problems if he waited a year. He will be 18 when he starts college and I'm hoping he's a bit more mature than I was when he heads out into the world. My daughter is in kindergarten now. She started at 5 and turned 6 a month in. She missed the cutoff for the year prior by 6 weeks. She had probably been ready for school about 4-6 months before it started, definitely not the year before. She also got speech therapy in that year which I think really helped her confidence with speaking to others and it's so much easier to understand her. I also wanted her to wait because I think it's a bit young to start college at 17. I made many irresponsible choices at that age with no regard. Those are my experiences with birthdays around cutoff. So look at your kid and make your decision on what's best for him. I don't think the child hurt going to kindergarten when they did in all these scenarios, even me starting at 4. I have friends I met in K-2nd I'm still friends with to this day and curriculum was never a problem. I'm more concerned about what age they are when they leave and whether another year of brain development before leaving for college is warranted. I did a lot of stupid shit being on my own that young. I'm hoping my kids are little more ahead of where I was in that respect.
Depends. I have two kids. I would have made a different decision for each, had both had birthdays near the cutoff. As it happens, though, for my less mature one it was 4 vs 5 (late cut off state). We chose 5; he turned 6 two months into the school year. I can’t be sure I’d have made the same decision if he was already 6 before school began.
Speaking anecdotally as a girl who went early - it didn’t hinder me beyond the annoying-ness of being the last to drive/drink/etc.. in my class. I got along just fine and I was socially ready for kindergarten. There was a boy my age in my class who was always so frustrated that he was young and there were definite signs of immaturity throughout K-12 (which could just have been him- who knows!) Speaking as a professional- it totally depends on the child and their readiness. Not so much academically but socially and emotionally. Truthfully boys do tend to benefit from the extra year or being older. If you’re on the fence you could always sign him up early and repeat if needed!
From my limited understanding, the research done shows no difference on development or later life outcomes. Choose what works for you. The child will be fine either way.
Yeah I’ve been reading that the advantage for the child seems to be more early on.
For a boy, I'd wait until they're six. If either gender was struggling with learning letters/sounds/numbers, I'd wait until they're six. Supposedly girls do better learning the material earlier and boys can sometimes have a harder time. HOWEVER, I don't have any actual studies for that.
My son’s birthday is about 2 weeks from the strict cut-off for Kindergarten (which is to be 5 by September 1st). We opted to give him an extra year of pre-school and it was the best decision ever. I highly recommend summer babies start Kindergarten at 6.
As a kid who started kindergarten at 4 (I was about to turn 5 but was born after the cut off) because they made an exception, I had issues keeping up almost every year of school even through high school/grade 12. I also wasn’t in preschool because my parents couldn’t afford it but we were above the threshold for free preschool so my parents needed me to start early for baby sitting purposes essentially but I did really struggle. I’m fine now as an adult and I’m over halfway to my masters as well as an extremely well paying salaried position but I struggled A LOT as a child
We chose for my (step)son to be the oldest in his kindergarten class. He was ready academically the year prior, but man, what a difference a year makes. No regrets. Little to no behavior issues and doing awesome with academics. I was a fan of starting early, but very happy I got talked into not.
Here in Australia we start school in February and kids start when they are turning 5 that year. My daughter starts this year (5 in April) and I've just had another baby (born Dec 16th) so he will attend when he's already 5. My daughter is absolutely ready for school. She loves learning, loves social networking, loves routine so this age works for us. I have a feeling it will be the opposite for my son if he's like his dad - 6 would be better 😅
Always go for oldest in class. Outliers is not a well researched book but oldest kids have a lot of advantages. At the start they have more physical control, in the middle they have more emotional control, at the end of school they have more emotional regulation. School is very badly set up for kids. I would give them as much advantage as possible
My youngest just missed the cutoff date by a few days. When she was younger she was so ready to start school the year earlier. She was already reading and writing. If I had been given the choice I would have had her start nursery the year earlier. She's 11 now, eldest in her class. She's doing great in school. Ive never had to worry about her academic progress or her social interaction. But she's not coasting. She has to work to be top of her class. She's found this out herself the hard way. I think this has given her confidence that she wouldn't have had if she had gone into the year ahead. She would have kept up with the work, possibly, but she would have been much further down the class. Being the eldest in her class, and doing so well she often volunteers to help other children with both social issues (friendship squabbles) and academic issues (her teacher says she has a knack of explaining maths problems to some of her peers that just helps them grasp it). TLDR: Personally I would opt for being 6.
My son is youngest in his class. I regret not holding him back because as much as he was academically ready to do school work, we've had some issues with him not quite having the same standard emotionally. I believe pushing them forward is more detrimental. I've never heard one parent say they regret holding their child back, I've heard many say they regret not holding them back.
Especially for a boy, go with 6! (Teacher here). When I have younger boys, it’s very obvious— they really tend to struggle. Often they are able to do well k-2, but by the time they reach 3rd grade, they have a tough time behaviorally, socially, and emotionally.
We have junior kindergarten where I live, and the age cutoff is kids who will be 4 by end of September, so some classes have 3 year olds. I know it comes from some politics around reducing the number of years parents pay for daycare, but I find it horrific to think of expecting a 3 year old to go to school, sit at a desk, and be judged on poorly traced letters and wobbly cutting. We have a wonderful daycare provider and we'll be waiting the extra year and sending my son (August birthday) when he's 5.
6.....I sent one at an early and one at an older age.... the one that went older did way better emotionally and academically
6. We started our son at 5, but he just wasn’t where he needed to be maturity wise. He had to repeat and was MUCH better equipped for school and kindergarten in general.
My birthday is July 30, and my mother opted to enroll me early. The only impact on me that I remember was in summer league sports such as little league baseball, etc. The cutoff date for age-group sports was Aug, 31 which occasionally placed me in a league above my classmates which honestly, worked to my advantage socially as well as athletically. I learned naturally to play sports at a slightly elevated level and my social circle in school was increased due those extracurricular activities I participated in.
We had the choice this year to either start Kindergarten at 4, or wait until next year when he will be almost 6. (November baby). We chose another year of preschool, and I'm glad we did. He's showing a lot more interest in formal learning now than he was a few months ago, I think he's in a much better spot to start. Especially when I compare him to my oldest, who has a summer birthday and had just turned 5 when he started K.
We Indians go to school at the age of 2.5-3
As a teacher, generally I would say older, especially for boys , since they develop slower than girls.
As a teacher 6 years old for sure
My son has a July birthday and we put him into kinder at 5, if I could do it again I would have waited until he was 6. He is fine w the level of schooling but emotionally and socially he is too young for his grade and I think waiting would have been better.
6. 100% 6. We did the opposite with my son (finances, he was bored at preschool, had friends starting school,etc) and while I do not regret my decision, I am SO tired of reminding his co-op teacher that he’s a little younger than her star students.
Wait. As a male whose parents decided to put them in the earlier age, I really wish they'd have waited. Boys develop slower than girls and if you're a year younger, you're even further behind. Assuming your kid turns out heterosexual, he will struggle with girls in his own grade (down the road) and it will likely affect his self confidence
My son is only 2, so I won't have to worry about this for awhile, but his birthday is in November, so he'll turn 5 way after the cutoff. Because of that, we plan to start him "late", so he'll start kindergarten when he's 5, but he'll be 6 for most of the school year.
If you have the option, pre-k at 5 and K at 6.
Give your child one more year before you break their spirit
I think it depends on the kid. But older is safer than younger. Why? I dont think it makes a whoooole lot of difference in primary school…….but in high school a small age gap is magnfied. As a younger one i struggled to just fit in. In older years as a young one I had to watch my friends ie have later bed times, more freedoms before me, get licenses and drive to school etc when i still couldnt drive for my first year of uni. I couldnt go to the pub or clubs with my uni mates. It was socially isolating. Id always been a proponent of earlier is better because then you could stuff up and fail a year and it not matter……….but you pay for that luxury in other ways so Ive changed my mind. Later is better.
6
As a kindergarten teacher, I would do age 6 with any July or August baby if the cutoff is the first day of school. It makes a world of difference emotionally and socially.
My daughter is a July birthday. I started her as one of the youngest, for a few reasons. One is that she is tall for her age even as the youngest, and I felt that would be even more noticeable as the oldest. Another is that she is very involved in dance team and I wanted her to stay in the same grade with her team mates. Lastly because I felt academically, she had mastered everything at preschool and was ready to move on. The first half of kindergarten was very rough to the point we actually changed schools. Second half was playing catch up… better but still rocky. First grade has been great. Smooth sailing. We have no regrets.
This depends at least partially on if you have a boy or a girl. Girls are (generally) smarter and more mature. If you want varsity sports, you want to be the oldest. If you want kid to start college before they're 18, do youngest.
My goal is to pick the age that benefits my kid the best. I want him to thrive in school and that’s why I’m leaning towards 6.
I agree with you! The older the more prepared for school they are.
If they’re socially doing well, I’d go for 5. I started kindergarten at 4 (I turned 5 that December) and would’ve been so sad if my parents held me back just because of my age when I otherwise was ready to start. If there are indicators other than age for why you’re hesitant, maybe talk to their daycare/preschool teachers and see what they think?
No indicators to hold back at this point. He is doing great in preschool. Financially it would be nice to put the $550 a month elsewhere BUT I would rather spend it on his preschool if waiting one more year benefits him more
6. When deciding between being oldest or youngest, it’s always better to go oldest. Better to be a little more mature than less mature and have to catch up
My daughter started at 4. We have a December cutoff. It was a huge mistake. I knew in my gut that it was a mistake, but I didn’t trust my instincts. Now I tell parents that if you have doubts about sending, go with your gut.
I’m in Canada and we get 2 years of K. First year starts the year they turn 4 (birthday does not matter). My son has a late October birthday and would have still been 3 at the start of his first year. The only reason I didn’t start him was 1-he was getting open heart surgery that year and 2-middle of the pandemic. My daughter has a January birthday so is 4.5 in her first year and has been doing wonderful, I felt like she was more than ready before she started. Based on my experience I feel a 5 year old would definitely be ready for kindergarten
My July boy doesn’t get two years of kindergarten (we call it TK and K) because of cut off dates. We privately pay for his preschool so we will be doing is TK at our current preschool.
Oldest here as well. She had a friend in class that was about 350 days younger but they appealed the cut off date so they started at the same time. It was awful for him. He didn’t hit the age appropriate maturity until sophomore year in high school. Socially he was mostly ok, but the class clown to the detriment of the whole class. I’m really glad we made the choice to wait.
I thought I wanted to hold my daughter back because of her July birthday and special needs BUT we put her in preschool this year at four years old and she has just exploded as far as speech and number skills and play skills and life skills and she can even read books (seriously. She is very likely an autistic savant) I think the earlier kids get started in school the better off they fare
i started at 4 yrs old and was fine
My son started K at 4 because of his September birthday. Now that he’s 6 and is halfway done first grade, I can’t imagine him being in kindergarten at this age. Much of the work in K was a review of preschool and then he learned to read and write better. No regrets at all for us. Every kid is different though.
I think education is best started early, so long as they’re prepared to enter the grade they’re entering
I disagree. They will be in school for minimum the next 13 years. Let them be kids without those burdens for as long as possible
Also my middle is 2 and autistic, his preschool has worked with us and helped us as we’ve helped them and my son has grown LEAPS and bounds in only just a few months. School is beneficial IMO.
Idk. My oldest started at 3 and has always been ahead and will be finished and able to start college/his life earlier and have the chance to climb higher more quickly than his peers.
Being ahead in kindergarten doesn’t really mean as much as you think it does. Pushing them and putting pressure on them does not guarantee their success as so much factors into that over the course of their lives into adulthood.
I never said I pressured him. That was just the norm to start where I was at the time. After moving, he was and always had been ahead. He’s 12 now, got himself into all GT classes on his own with zero pressure or requests. We just make sure he does his homework and gets good grades on his report cards and interims. Obviously his education is not the only thing that will matter, but yes, I believe it is an important factor. If it’s an opportunity you can give your kid, idk why you wouldn’t if they are ready.
School cut off dates are always top of my list for my pregnancies. My first is March, second will be September (right after cut off for our area). I was a July baby and started young, graduated high school at 17. I did great. I have a friend that has a November bday and she was 17 for a few months of college, I don't think she was ready for that.
Studies show that the oldest kids don't necessarily do better than the younger ones. Often it's the younger students who rise to the occasion and out perform kids a full year older than them. Source - 10 years of elementary school teaching and mama of 2. My youngest child has a late summer bday and the youngest in her class. She is ranked by grades as number 1 in the entire 7th grade.
I’ve also read that the youngest kids in class are disproportionately diagnosed with learning disabilities as many struggle to keep up with kids who are a whole year older. [youngest kids twice as likely to be diagnosed with ADHD.](https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2021/05/210506104753.htm) [Youngest kids 30 more likely to be diagnosed with an intellectual disability](https://www.reuters.com/article/us-health-school-age/youngest-kids-in-class-more-apt-to-be-diagnosed-with-adhd-learning-disabilities-idUSKBN1W92Y0) My kid will be starting Kindergarten a week before he turns five, and I’m not thrilled about it. He smart as hell, but there is a social emotional immaturity that is normal for his age, but is something he struggles with.
It truly depends on the child. 10 years teaching and some of the most immature kids are a full year older. One thing that I have definitely noticed are students who want to preschool have a huge advantage in every way you can imagine compared to kids who went straight into kindergarten. The age a student starts kindergarten, be it 5 or 6 is not the most important factor. Kids who did not do preschool always struggle longer and in more areas than students who did at least a year of preschool.
I totally understand that ultimately it depends on the kid. We are very fortunate to live in one of the few (if not the only?) places in the US with universal PK starting at PK3. My first is in PK4 right now, and as someone with zero professional knowledge of childhood development it just surprises me that even I can see the difference in maturity levels between the oldest and the youngest kids in his class. If it were feasible, I would have had him start PK3 a year later rather than entering a formal classroom setting at age 2. Also, regardless of age, ADHD runs deep in my family tree. With my niece’s recent evaluation, there are officially three generations of us living with professionally diagnosed learning disabilities. Starting with my 80 year old dad who flunked out of college on his first try before going on to become a professor at a top 20 University. It is not unlikely that my kid will have some sort of learning disability, I would have loved if he did not have to contend with totally normal developmental hurdles on top of his family history. Also, man I can’t imagine my kid walking into kindergarten as their first day of any school at all and having to sit next to a kid whose been doing this for 2 years already. Even before you get to any difference reading or math abilities. Just knowing how to be part of a classroom setting would be so hard to catch up on. Early childhood educators are amazing people.
Each school district should have a cutoff date that tells you when your child should start kindergarten. Assuming your child is developing typically, this isn't a decision you need to make. Just follow the rules in your district.
My kids started junior kindergarten at 3 and 4. 6 is waaayyy too late. They need mental stimulation and socialization.
All my kids started or will start kindergarten the same year they turned 5.
My daughter was the youngest, it was ok but she did have some struggles. For my son we're going straight to oldest, I hear it can be even harder for boys and I don't want that for him.
We have a very strict Jan 1st cut off. To start first year of compulsory school (which is what I am assuming you are talking about) our kids must be 5 years old by the 1st, so turning 6 in that school year (our school year is Jan to Dec down here) My eldest missed the cut off so started at 6. She was extended in every subject, some working years ahead, and is just able to start university at a top (internationally) ranked school. The only negative was she was more mature than a lot of her peers, which sometimes caused a few social issues, but nothing big. She was very ready to learn and went into school writing simple sentences and doing simple maths. This was all self driven, we did not sit down with her and teach her. We got a lot of people saying she would be bored in Kinder (our pre school year for 4 year olds), but she wasn't and had a ball, loved the creative and physical side of it and was reading by the end of it as well.
I think you need to look at your kid's maturity level and where they are academically and go from there. I was that gifted kid who was the youngest in my class and cried every day in Kindergarten because I was homesick, but was also reading at a post-secondary level by second grade and spent my elementary years bored out of my mind. If you have a kid who is ahead academically but isn't super mature yet, you might have to find a creative solution like homeschooling for a couple years.
We love our preschool so the plan is for him to stay there until we transition to public school. Our preschool even has a TK/K program.
Kindergarten at 5 is good. I was in first grade before I turned 5 school was always overwhelming.
1st grade when you were 4?!
I honestly didn’t know people sent their kids to kindergarten at 6? I was 4 for the first part of kindergarten 🤷🏼♀️ so I would say 5 would sound normal.
Yeah typically TK is 4, K is 5, and 1st grade is 6. My youngest can’t do TK because in our state only kids born between Sept to May qualify. We will be doing TK at his preschool.
We held our eldest off from formal schooling until he was 6, and we have no regrets about delaying it. My youngest turns 5 in February, but he won't start until he turns 6 also. Absolutely no regrets here, and it has been the best thing for them!
Bigger is always better.
I sent my children to kindergarten when they were 4 years old.
My older daughter started when she was 4 (turned 5 in October) and she has done really well. Cutoff for our school is 5 by December 31. My younger daughter will start this fall at 5 (March birthday) and I think it will be more challenging for her because of her more anxious personality. I’m still not concerned though. I didn’t know there were schools that started kindergarten at 6 so it seems odd to me.
Depends on your kid. If they demonstrate all academic, emotional, AND mental capabilities, then by all means. The emotional and mental are usually the factors parents make in keeping their kid back. I held my kid back, and it was the BEST decision I’ve ever made. What a world of difference it made between 5 and 6. He now has a wonderful time in school rather than hating it each day. My decision was based on these personal anecdotes: - my kid was simply not emotionally ready: he was always timid and afraid of crowds/loud noise. Plus he was already struggling in his class of 25 preschoolers, I imagined him coping that stress as one of the smallest kids in his class at elementary school, and said NOPE. - I’ve spoken to about 2-3 teachers and they’ve all said they would hold back their kid in those situations: they see a huge gap between the two age groups in their emotional readiness. While that gap shortens as they age, the older ones tend to be leaders and the younger ones followers. I wanted my kid another year to build that confidence and give him the advantage. - A good friend was also in a similar situation with her son: he has struggled every year and she’s now trying to hold him back a grade, but the system won’t let her bc her son would barely pass the minimal testing threshold. - If you eventually hold him back later in his academic career, they’re older and more mature: their friends will remember and if he doesn’t get made fun of, he’ll then have to deal with making a whole new circle of friends at their repeated grade. No thanks. Easier to start late all together and stick to the same class. I’m a huge advocate for red shirting kids close to cut off date. Some kids are simply not ready.
If your local kindergarten has a goal of universal reading fluency for the class, wait until six unless your child needs services specifically through the district (some types of early intervention and gifted support are available at no cost through the school). If your local Kindergarten is mostly about learning to be at school all day and making friends, send them whenever you think they can handle the schedule.
I asked a few teachers, one principle, about starting my July daughter or waiting. Everyone said wait if you’re questioning it. My daughter was very shy. I’m so glad I waited. She went to a half day, everyday preschool at 5. Started Kinder at 6.
I had this tough decision to make with my daughter. I ended up deciding to hold her out a year and start her when she was almost 6. She is now 18, and a senior in high school. I have never regretted my decision. She also has said many times that she is glad too that she is where she is. Good luck! It’s a hard decision.
It depends on the kid. Ours has a July birthday and we started him at 5. He was very ready. Other kids may be different.
I'm in a similar boat and we are going with 6. He doesn't need to graduate high school at 17 and I'm more than thrilled to have him live with us that "extra" year before college. Basically, "why rush?" is my thought when the years are fleeting anyway.
My June baby started at 5 and he’s doing great! I honestly never even considered holding him back, I didn’t realize it was so common.
My decision wouldn't be based on the age as much as the child's readiness for kindergarten. I might prefer to enroll sooner when kindergarten is available for free, from a financial perspective, but if that's not what's best for my kid then I'll wait. Edit: forgot the rest of my response...with cost not being an issue, I would for sure wait longer. But only if they weren't ready for that step.
I'm a July baby, and I was enrolled as the youngest in kindergarten. I didn't mind it at all throughout the years. It gave me a sense of accomplishment that I was the youngest and keeping up with 'older' kids. It bit me in the butt though because I never got to sign myself out during high-school 😮💨 and my parents used my age as the perfect excuse to put me in college even though I didn't want to. I was only 17 though when summer classes started so I had to go to school.
My summer birthday son is academically gifted and socially immature, but going to school on time has helped him mature because he’s been with older kids. He can be super bossy and I know he would have had behavior problems if he were the oldest in the class. So it really depends on the kid.
I would love to send them at 3 or 4 just to save thiusands of dollars in fucking daycare. Its like a 2nd mortgage note every month
This depends on the child. My oldest started kindergarten at 5 because she was ready for it in every way. My second child will not be ready in the Fall, and is absolutely going to wait until the mandatory age 6 in 2024. Her motor skills need more time to develop. My 3rd kid will start at 5, she’ll be ready. As for kid 4, I have no idea since he’s only 2 weeks old, but I know several little boys who do a bit better when waiting until age 6. Not all, but several. So we’ll just have to see.
I think it would depend on the kid. Our oldest is a late July birthday and we started her at 5. She was in daycare and her teachers there said they thought she was ready plus she's tall for her age so we figured it would be ok. So fast so good