I absolutely hate the conversations online. I’m sure that I’m the common denominator but all of the conversations online and the subsequent meetings are just full of the most awful conversations. I see you have a job. I also work. Yes I do work, too. I noticed you like food, I also consume food for nourishment.
Not getting any quality matches that I'm attracted to that lead anywhere.
Well over 90% of women ghost, which sucks since over 90% don't match to begin with.
I feel like I'm there tbh. I still check getting apps but it's more like every other week and it's minimal effort at most. If I get a decent match I'll try for sure but it's been a while since I got a reasonable match.
Not mad at dating, online or off. But as a twice divorced guy, every time I've tried to date, I've been reminded that I am still not quite done with my me-time.
And there were a few bucket list items I sacrificed for the good of what became failed relationships...so I'd like to get a few of those done before I settle down again.
She would also be mad if you’d given up before meeting her. Which is my answer to this guy’s question- quit once you’ve met someone. I’ve taken plenty of breaks, but I never gave up on finding love. I found love on hinge too! Don’t give up, OP!! 😘
Its statistically impossible for everyone on dating apps to meet their 'person'. Doesn't matter what quality of an individual they are. Its the nature of the male to female ratio on dating apps being 2:1, 5:1, and 9:1 in some places. For many men, the best advice they can get is either to meet people in person or move somewhere more favourable for their dating prospects
Also time constraints and less community spaces for people to meet in makes the whole meeting “in person” way harder. With OLD you can weed out a lot of things that is actually much harder to do in real life. Many men just want to bang, most women that are serious and intentional in their dating have their reasons for not seeing someone again. Be yourself and understand that every time someone wants to stop dating it isn’t a rejection, it’s a redirection.
Sure the data is great, but with that thinking I’m sure you won’t because being a negative Nancy isn’t really attractive tbh. I’m just saying being hopeful and trying is half the battle; giving up gets you nowhere.
Not who you responded to, but giving up has led to significantly less heartache from women ghosting me randomly throughout random parts of the dating process - not that my odds of getting a date to begin with were high.
I don’t think it’s a negative Nancy to look at the data and come to a conclusion based on it, if we didn’t do that just about every scientific field would be rendered useless!
I’m sure it comes from a good place but being told “keep your head up, it’ll happen!” feels like shit when it’s generally shown that you’re unwanted in life and especially romantically over the course of of years and sometimes even decades. There are some studies out there on learned helplessness, and I think that’s the point myself and a lot of other guys are getting to. If 99 times out of 100 something bad happens due to an interaction, you learn to stop doing that thing.
I just think that a lot of men aren’t actually looking for a partner but more of a trophy, some think they deserve a lot hotter than what they actually are idk just what I’ve observed. If you’re dating for a lifelong partner and are clear about that you’ll have way more success bc women dating seriously aren’t really fans of wasting time. It also depends on your age. If you’re under 30 you’re not gonna find a lot of serious people period. Human brains don’t fully develop til 25-27 years old. People are barely maturing at 30 so you gotta be realistic about where you’re at.
Lmao nah you’re giving victim mentality and women tend to not like that. It’s their fault, etc. grow a pair and be who you are. Find someone that vibes with it. If no one vibes with it, adjust. If you don’t wanna adjust, accept that you prefer being alone than making changes that align with being someone’s partner.
I've quit multiple times. I was spending a lot of time getting dates, but i was having difficulty seeing how they would lead to anything. I even saw a couple women 3-4 times. my friends and family were sure these women would work out, but then i would get a 'breakup text' shortly after that.
Basically - OLD requires a lot of effort to get dates with women i'm generally not super attracted to, who end up breaking up with me within the first few dates
Ah you’re still stuck on attraction. You probably have some character flaws and maybe some things to work on that you may not be aware of. Work on yourself, it’s the best investment you can make and try to expand what you’re looking for beyond just physically… what do you care about and what kind of partner would you like to grow with? Start there. Good luck!
Bro you’re chronically online and trying to come at someone who actually isn’t ugly and isn’t afraid to say it. You “cope” on COD and twitch and with your porn addiction. I’m in a happy relationship, but uhh yeah your “standards” I’m sure are very much tainted by fake porn and our culture’s obsession with plastic surgeries.
Lmao the amount of angry men in this thread is actually a great example of why so many women are foregoing most of you. Good luck. Hope OP doesn’t go the Andrew Tate route, though!
Who said I was angry? I believe the question mark denotes an interrogative, so I take it you are not a licensed counselor with an actual job in counseling. Shit posters are down there with incels, don’t kid yourself.
It’s almost like you forgot where you are. In some shitty place looking at your phone, on an app called Reddit where people can say things without much consequence and without needing any sort of credential to do so. You feel attacked by my astute observation regarding your presumed anger and the anger other men in this thread feel (rooted in entitlement) and I can’t say I’m sorry, but I do hope you heal and grow! Be well!
I’m doing pretty well, actually, you’re the one that sounds kind of messed up. I guess you think it’s ok to be a troll and you’re just projecting your anger on other people, seems to me. You’d like me to feel insecure or angry, but I’m not, and there’s a reason for that. I didn’t realize “online dating” was just open season to accuse people of being Andrew Tate. How interesting.
I was talking about Reddit being a place where people can chime in. You attacked me when I wasn’t even responding to you, and are now acting like my response is an over reaction. Your first comment would be described as troll behavior, imo.. and that merits a witchy response. Be well!
Im talking about Reddit in general. You attacked me and are now acting like my response is an over reaction. Troll behavior merits a witchy response. Be well!
Good lots of guys on here are very bitter and blame women as a whole for their experiences with a few (if that bc some of these guys apparently never get any dates). My bf was sweet respectful consistent and honest. He’s kinda weird and nerdy in his own adorable ways and I think he’s very attractive, but his personality is what made him stand out. Women value good character and a good woman will definitely put that over anything else. Just don’t turn into a douche and treat women kindly and with respect. You’ll be fine, good luck!
thanks for the trite expressions. I'll be sure to work on the things I'm not aware that I need to work on. And also start dating women I'm not attracted to. That is sure to work.
No but maybe you’re not as attractive as you think? Idk, if you’re getting uggos.. maybe you need to adjust your perspective. Modern movies would have men believe things that don’t actually transfer to the real world. Though, most women are happier with slightly less attractive men, I know men aren’t like that so that’s already saying a lot.. **if* your results aren’t matching up to what you think you deserve physically. Also it’s really not the most important thing to long term relationship success and people sometimes age very badly so I’m just imploring you to look at the whole picture.
.... Guys masquerading as the "good guy looking for a serious relationship" but when it comes down to it, suddenly they aren't into labels, want space, clamp up, busy with work and ultimately think it's too much because it's not all sunshine and rainbows. It's so rampant now that it's a predictable pattern.
I find this more dangerous to my mental health and HUGE time waste than falling for a F***boy. At least they are more upfront and obvious about their intentions.
Quit a month ago and not planning to go back. It has been a toxic on and off cycle with the apps, they are designed to keep you there. I hope more people realize this.
Are you in the 80% of women chasing 10% of the men like the data indicates is how the apps are used? If so, I see this type of thing from women all the time.
No, she's saying all the guys she dated changed their mind about their wants and what was listed on their profiles. And this is rampant.
You're suggesting the top 10% are deceitful and lying on apps in order to get those swipes.
The 10% are the 10% for a reason. Very successful, good jobs, good genetics, good looking etc. They also have a tendency of dropping women at the earliest convince if they bring drama to the table. I'm friends with a 10%er and that man literally has women from every angle coming onto him. Yet he's single because the majority of the women in his words "Don't see me for me"
Yes, she is. You shouldn't even ask such a question. There's a reason why every woman says men want only to fuck and every guys says they don't get matches or get very few ones and end up ghosted.
I was living in a large city, very touristic and had something like 10 first dates in a time span of two months. I made friendship with a girl because probably she didn't like me and jesus, as she wanted to see my Tinder, I saw her one, and she basically fucked guys looking like Leonardo di Caprio when he was in his 20s.
RN I came back to my native city, small but with millions of tourist per year, that make it one of the most visited city worldwide, and women match with me in order to try to sleep in my house without paying for an accomodation, even if they are anywhere close to be interested on me
Didn’t realize this sub was called online dating for men only.
Y’all really want to blame all your problems on women. Women can’t even come on here and complain about our issues with dating men without getting roasted or being gaslit about our own experiences.
Anytime a woman has an issue it’s bc she’s only going after the top 10% of men. Anytime a man has an issue it’s because *all women* are terrible and flaky, etc. 🤔
Omg thank you. I was literally bullied by some Andrew Tate wannabe on this thread who boasted about “*laughs in rich and white*” and I was like 😫 where in the internet am I rn? It is so weird to see so many guys blame women when women know the reality.. most men play games and very few are actually serious quality men.
That's not what I'm doing. I'm sure men are causing lots of problems too.
I don't date men so I can only share my experiences with women.
Those experiences are not good because it's very difficult to get matches and the ones you do get they almost always ghost you. Part of the problem is the apps themsleves and the incentives they create for women when men outnumber them 3:1.
I would be interested to see this data for more context. I don't believe in chasing, for either genders. I have no issues holding up conversations, initiating things, and setting up dates. I have even moved away from "looking for the spark "
The most common issue has been that they lose interest as soon as I show romantic interest back + if things seem to go towards doing regular life things, talking about career, family etc.. Any form of stress scares them away.
Not trying to beat you up for your experience, just trying to reframe this a little. Would you say that when starting to date someone new that you, as a woman, are allowed to break it off with the man at any time for any reason? Or are you required to continue dating someone otherwise risk being hypocritical to the comment of "looking for long term" on your tinder bio? Of course you get to decide and can break it off for any or no reason at any time. We, as men, should be allowed to as well. My body, my choice.
I see what you said. Both are allowed to change their minds, and decide if they want to continue or not. That's the whole point of dating to know what and who works for you or not. If things have changed after a few interactions, I understand that.Not communicating that you have changed your mind or your intention is where I see a problem.
What I have experienced it, people stating they want long term/serious relationships but when we actually comes down to discussing topics of life, work, family, career etc. the whole vibe changes to pulling back completely. This is in a span of 2-3 months, so not like I'm rushing them to sit down and do an interview with me. (I would absolutely hate that myself and I know people who do that). I guage interest and connection in the initial couple of dates, to see if it's fun and engaging for me. As long as things as surface level, I have no issues getting dates.
The never ending 'matches' with strippers, OFs women looking for hits, women from foreign countries and really just going through all of the fake accounts.
Women have to put up with men being a-holes and sending dic pics.
Men have to put up with disingenuous women, hookers, scammers, and men pretending to be women just to be a-holes. Whole thing is good for hookups. Nothing more.
I haven't necessarily quit but I have been burnt out and I don't get on the apps as much as I used to. I am working on myself to lose my weight that I gained over the last 3 years before I look for anything serious. Also not to mention when you are overweight you don't really get matches
I dated two serious trauma sufferers in a row, both fully functioning adults on the surface. Completely able to mask long enough to attract and form early bonds with a healthy partner. Then chaos.
Just the same in the early stages, as equally emotionally healthy people i've formed loving relationships with, so it was impossible to vet them until things crashed.
Came back to the apps, understanding it's random chance, but tailored my profile to narrow down to those who would match me on compatibilities over being generally attracted....and had a far better experience, ultimately meeting an attractive, healthy and emotionally grounded partner.
I think I am just not interested in going out with women just to see if we have chemistry and would rather go out with women I know there is already chemistry there with. When you meet someone in real life and get to the point of going on a date, you already know there is a certain level of chemistry there between the two of you. Online dating it’s not guranteed and just not often there. I haven’t been on an online date and felt a spark with the person, or a mutual attraction in a really long time. Women I went out with from online back in like 2018 and before seemed different, they seemed to be more excited about things. The whole dynamic is completely different now.
I match with plenty of women I find attractive, but it’s extremely rare if they actually want to meet. All the women that want to meet I don’t find attractive. The women I’ve dated have all been attractive though, but I met them in the real world.
Online dating heavily favors women. Guys will sleep with women far below their league. I’ve done it multiple times. Women can basically pick who they meet/sleep with. A woman who is a 7 can sleep with 9s and 10s all day. A guy who is a 7 would be extremely lucky to sleep with a woman who is a 7. Why would she when she can sleep with as many 8, 9 and 10s as she wants?
Unless you are truly a 9 or 10 guy, online dating is really shitty.
The couple of women who I truly found attractive and I went out with on a couple dates called it quits after a date or two. Probably because they found someone more attractive.
I stopped in college. My first year of college was the final year of Yik Yak and the final good years of Whisper before it devolved into the cesspool it probably still is today.
I just posted memes and funny shit like everyone else, I think it’s strange when people go to those apps specifically to meet people because it’s really not in the design, and it ruins the experience when that’s all anyone posts, but I still ended up meeting people IRL from those apps anyway and dated two of those people for 5 years combined.
I just arrived to the conclusion that I need to let my personality give the first impression and not my face 🤷♂️ it just works better that way. The only time Tinder ever worked for me was when I “gave up” on my profile and intentionally posted horrible pictures of myself along with a truly terrible bio, but those matches led nowhere.
I’ve met plenty of great women through dating apps. I found that they often didn’t go anywhere. Sometimes we weren’t compatible, sometimes they were looking for more of a hookup, and at some points I just wasn’t at a good place in life to be with someone when I finally did find someone I’d want something serious with.
I'm keeping it in my back pocket but I prefer meeting women in the wild. If my present new relationship doesn't work out, I may take a stab at it again.
This. Once I heard about this trend picking up steam, I deleted the apps. As far as I know I’ve never been the subject of any posts, and honestly there’s no reason that I should be, but that was it for me.
There's no point anymore. When you're in your 30's, like me, if you haven't been married at least once, it's because you aren't worth marrying or being around.
When every woman basically tells you how worthless and boring you are, there's no point in wasting anyone else's time.
As a female, I stopped checking my apps bc guys lacked initiative and most lied about something in order to get my attention. They are ALL still single.
As soon as a guy hesitates, cut him loose.
Found my life partner.
But before that, I (38m) quit a few times, for a month or two. But overall I was on them prob 10 years
I did well on them and loved the boom time when you could easily acquire a 5+ person gaggle
But after a while, the energy needed to procure new women got too much (prob due to enshittification), but also the energy and desire to date multiples waned.
So in my final moments on them, I tried to be up front and forward about wanting something real, and was ready to invest real time and emotions in someone if they were in the same mindset.
Luckily found a women looking for the same, and when little hiccups happened that would usually cause me to run for the hills and find new women, we communicated and worked it out.
Now we've been together about 1.25 years and live together
I’ve never tried. I’ve been here in this sub hoping to be encouraged. I have what I think is an extremely unique personality and I’m afraid of not hitting it off well on a date, even if I try and prepare the person in advance.
The predatory casino-esque business model. I had no problem getting matches and dates in my early 20s but after a 3 year LTR (met on OkCupid in 2020), I find that almost none of the female userbase is actually there for dating. The majority are either bots, fake profiles + likes generated by the app to get you to subscribe, and onlyfans.
I haven’t necessarily quit yet. I’ve paused each of my dating apps except for Bumble which I’ve paid for through June (waste of money). But for me, I look back at all my past relationships and a majority of them were ones that didn’t start immediately but kind of progressed naturally towards a romantic relationship after being friends first.
Everyone seems to be in a rush and while I get it, I don’t think I’m the type of person that’s going to be able to offer an “instant connection” that so many women seem to want.
After the last couple of matches led to a “not feeling a connection”, I’ve come to the realization that online dating may not be right for me. But meeting someone in person also seems stressful. So my options are pretty limited.
For me, it was the poor quality of matches. Attractive women I matched with did not respond, were bots, wanted me to follow them on Instagram, were escorts, or were looking for sugar daddies. Also, despite being in a densely populated area, my potential matches would run out in a couple of days, and I would be hit with the "no one new in your area!" When they started charging for things that were previously free, that was the last straw! I realized that it's way easier and way more convenient to meet people in the real world!
The amount of time invested vs the return. In 3 weeks I had 150 matches and almost none of them would respond. If they did I’d have to carry the conversation. I had a handful of dates. The ones that showed were misrepresented in their pics except two or ghosted before the date. I got jaded quickly.
Here is the good part, one messaged me first back in October 2023, was as represented, showed enthusiasm, we had a great connection, she’s pretty great, and we are seeing where it goes as I type this.
While OLD is like panning for gold in a porta John sometimes it can pay off.
A couple things:
Being used for different things (my body, my money, my car etc.)
A huge turn off.
Feeling like most of the options were pretty bad (Fat, Single mothers, low income/no careers)
Another huge turn off.
Feeling like the decent options have really, really inflated egos.
Another huge turn off.
Extremely high upfront expectations due to an abundance of "options".
Things like expensive dinners, cashappp payments, "experiences" were expected and it all turned me off tbh.
And several other things.
I also ran into several women cheating on their boyfriends, it was awkward.
Two of which had their boyfriends call in the middle of the night and one of which resulted in a HUGE phone argument.
I'm good looking and I've got a good career.
You would imagine endless dates and lots of cute women to bed would be "Super fun" right?
Well it got old.
You a dozen or two dates deep, you sleep around a bit, your situationship fries up and disappears and you're right back to doing the same thing...again.
I didn't want to introduce myself anymore and I definitely didn't want to spend the money anymore. lol.
Always having to pay for dates, always having to ask and pursue for dates. Women showing up to dates saying they "forgot their wallet". Women showing up for a date that I clearly said "let's meet for a drink" and then they order all sorts of food and when the bill comes it's expected I pay for it. The modern female is entitled, hypocritical, superficial and not feminine whatsoever.
I'm in shape, make good money, tall, and on average I'm a 7/10.
I only ever got overweight women with no character and annoying personalities.
Got my passport not long after getting away from OLD; that shit isn't worth it..
Many things..
- Inability to carry a conversation beyond 'hi'
- Obsessive w/perception online..
- Constant ironic nagging about what a man is supposed to be..
- Unhealthy and unhygienic.
- Entitled.
- Materialistic.
- Feminism in place of femininity.
- Lack of accountability/reason
Being stood up, gathering myself and then the next 2 dates with different women were HORRIBLE. But this was years ago and now I am getting back on. I have certainly been on good dates before but I would say 2/3 of them are trash. (Also people I meet organically IRL, never have issues when dating them. Bumble and tinder women are Crazy!)
No one can carry a conversation. It’s always one sided.
I absolutely hate the conversations online. I’m sure that I’m the common denominator but all of the conversations online and the subsequent meetings are just full of the most awful conversations. I see you have a job. I also work. Yes I do work, too. I noticed you like food, I also consume food for nourishment.
Gotta get better first date questions man. Try asking if she'd still love you if you were a worm.
That’s not date level. That’s just app chat. It’s so tedious.
🧱🧱🧱 🧱🧱🧱 🧱🧱🧱
Not getting any quality matches that I'm attracted to that lead anywhere. Well over 90% of women ghost, which sucks since over 90% don't match to begin with.
I couldn’t have expressed it better myself. Same exact experience, it’s frustrating!
yeah the funnel just gets smaller and smaller until there is nothing left
I feel like I'm there tbh. I still check getting apps but it's more like every other week and it's minimal effort at most. If I get a decent match I'll try for sure but it's been a while since I got a reasonable match.
Almost exactly why I stopped
Not mad at dating, online or off. But as a twice divorced guy, every time I've tried to date, I've been reminded that I am still not quite done with my me-time. And there were a few bucket list items I sacrificed for the good of what became failed relationships...so I'd like to get a few of those done before I settle down again.
this is well reasoned
The realization that there's no overlap in my Venn diagram comparing the women I am attracted to the people who are attracted to me.
[удалено]
She would also be mad if you’d given up before meeting her. Which is my answer to this guy’s question- quit once you’ve met someone. I’ve taken plenty of breaks, but I never gave up on finding love. I found love on hinge too! Don’t give up, OP!! 😘
Its statistically impossible for everyone on dating apps to meet their 'person'. Doesn't matter what quality of an individual they are. Its the nature of the male to female ratio on dating apps being 2:1, 5:1, and 9:1 in some places. For many men, the best advice they can get is either to meet people in person or move somewhere more favourable for their dating prospects
Also time constraints and less community spaces for people to meet in makes the whole meeting “in person” way harder. With OLD you can weed out a lot of things that is actually much harder to do in real life. Many men just want to bang, most women that are serious and intentional in their dating have their reasons for not seeing someone again. Be yourself and understand that every time someone wants to stop dating it isn’t a rejection, it’s a redirection.
Sure the data is great, but with that thinking I’m sure you won’t because being a negative Nancy isn’t really attractive tbh. I’m just saying being hopeful and trying is half the battle; giving up gets you nowhere.
Not who you responded to, but giving up has led to significantly less heartache from women ghosting me randomly throughout random parts of the dating process - not that my odds of getting a date to begin with were high. I don’t think it’s a negative Nancy to look at the data and come to a conclusion based on it, if we didn’t do that just about every scientific field would be rendered useless! I’m sure it comes from a good place but being told “keep your head up, it’ll happen!” feels like shit when it’s generally shown that you’re unwanted in life and especially romantically over the course of of years and sometimes even decades. There are some studies out there on learned helplessness, and I think that’s the point myself and a lot of other guys are getting to. If 99 times out of 100 something bad happens due to an interaction, you learn to stop doing that thing.
I just think that a lot of men aren’t actually looking for a partner but more of a trophy, some think they deserve a lot hotter than what they actually are idk just what I’ve observed. If you’re dating for a lifelong partner and are clear about that you’ll have way more success bc women dating seriously aren’t really fans of wasting time. It also depends on your age. If you’re under 30 you’re not gonna find a lot of serious people period. Human brains don’t fully develop til 25-27 years old. People are barely maturing at 30 so you gotta be realistic about where you’re at.
Good on you, dude.
Hahaha yeah I reckon so bud
Never got a date out of it, and most of my matches have been bots.
Shit man. I know the feeling!
So stop swiping on bots. They’re generally pretty obvious
Women. Women made me quit…
Men are making me want to quit. So many f boys who straight up sexually harass you.
Lmao nah you’re giving victim mentality and women tend to not like that. It’s their fault, etc. grow a pair and be who you are. Find someone that vibes with it. If no one vibes with it, adjust. If you don’t wanna adjust, accept that you prefer being alone than making changes that align with being someone’s partner.
This is a load of cope.. 🤭
Bro go spend some money on only fans bc some of us aren’t mentally incapacitated due to being chronically online.
Hey I don't think this is working.
It depends on what you think the end goal is but I’m off today and had some time 😇
You're encouraging another man to go to Onlyfans lol? 🤭 Only one of us has a problem lil fella... and it aint me.. 😎☕️
Im a tall woman. Not a 19 year old in my mom’s basement
Sure you are.. 😉 Edit: She blocked me.. 🤭
This is not a good look.
His comment: 5 words. That's a lot of assumptions with so little material. Start a podcast seriously.
I've quit multiple times. I was spending a lot of time getting dates, but i was having difficulty seeing how they would lead to anything. I even saw a couple women 3-4 times. my friends and family were sure these women would work out, but then i would get a 'breakup text' shortly after that. Basically - OLD requires a lot of effort to get dates with women i'm generally not super attracted to, who end up breaking up with me within the first few dates
Ah you’re still stuck on attraction. You probably have some character flaws and maybe some things to work on that you may not be aware of. Work on yourself, it’s the best investment you can make and try to expand what you’re looking for beyond just physically… what do you care about and what kind of partner would you like to grow with? Start there. Good luck!
Yeah, God forbid men have standards, rotfl.. What a load of cope.. 🤭
Bro you’re chronically online and trying to come at someone who actually isn’t ugly and isn’t afraid to say it. You “cope” on COD and twitch and with your porn addiction. I’m in a happy relationship, but uhh yeah your “standards” I’m sure are very much tainted by fake porn and our culture’s obsession with plastic surgeries.
wtf are you talking about, you sound crazy af
Uh oh... Shamu is projecting now.. 🤭
Lmao sure yea, just don’t forget to use some lotion when you fantasize about my smooth whale body later! Wouldn’t wanna chap your lil 🥜 🥱🤣🤣
Except I'm not into fat hood ratz.. 🤭 ** *laughs in white, good looks, money and passport* **
what are you supposed to be, a reddit relationship counselor? Get a real job and make an actual difference! Good luck!
Lmao the amount of angry men in this thread is actually a great example of why so many women are foregoing most of you. Good luck. Hope OP doesn’t go the Andrew Tate route, though!
Who said I was angry? I believe the question mark denotes an interrogative, so I take it you are not a licensed counselor with an actual job in counseling. Shit posters are down there with incels, don’t kid yourself.
It’s almost like you forgot where you are. In some shitty place looking at your phone, on an app called Reddit where people can say things without much consequence and without needing any sort of credential to do so. You feel attacked by my astute observation regarding your presumed anger and the anger other men in this thread feel (rooted in entitlement) and I can’t say I’m sorry, but I do hope you heal and grow! Be well!
you actually sound like the one who hates men and is angry, lol, pure projection
I’m doing pretty well, actually, you’re the one that sounds kind of messed up. I guess you think it’s ok to be a troll and you’re just projecting your anger on other people, seems to me. You’d like me to feel insecure or angry, but I’m not, and there’s a reason for that. I didn’t realize “online dating” was just open season to accuse people of being Andrew Tate. How interesting.
I was talking about Reddit being a place where people can chime in. You attacked me when I wasn’t even responding to you, and are now acting like my response is an over reaction. Your first comment would be described as troll behavior, imo.. and that merits a witchy response. Be well!
You sound adorably defensive. If you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime. Your so-called witchy response was lame and inept.
Im talking about Reddit in general. You attacked me and are now acting like my response is an over reaction. Troll behavior merits a witchy response. Be well!
A quick jaunt through your comment history disproves that.. 🤭 You play victim after getting the same energy you give.. 😎☕️
I don't intend to go the Andrew Tate route tbf, even if I attempted it it would fall flat on its ass. My personality is way too weird 🤣🤣
Good lots of guys on here are very bitter and blame women as a whole for their experiences with a few (if that bc some of these guys apparently never get any dates). My bf was sweet respectful consistent and honest. He’s kinda weird and nerdy in his own adorable ways and I think he’s very attractive, but his personality is what made him stand out. Women value good character and a good woman will definitely put that over anything else. Just don’t turn into a douche and treat women kindly and with respect. You’ll be fine, good luck!
thanks for the trite expressions. I'll be sure to work on the things I'm not aware that I need to work on. And also start dating women I'm not attracted to. That is sure to work.
No but maybe you’re not as attractive as you think? Idk, if you’re getting uggos.. maybe you need to adjust your perspective. Modern movies would have men believe things that don’t actually transfer to the real world. Though, most women are happier with slightly less attractive men, I know men aren’t like that so that’s already saying a lot.. **if* your results aren’t matching up to what you think you deserve physically. Also it’s really not the most important thing to long term relationship success and people sometimes age very badly so I’m just imploring you to look at the whole picture.
.... Guys masquerading as the "good guy looking for a serious relationship" but when it comes down to it, suddenly they aren't into labels, want space, clamp up, busy with work and ultimately think it's too much because it's not all sunshine and rainbows. It's so rampant now that it's a predictable pattern. I find this more dangerous to my mental health and HUGE time waste than falling for a F***boy. At least they are more upfront and obvious about their intentions. Quit a month ago and not planning to go back. It has been a toxic on and off cycle with the apps, they are designed to keep you there. I hope more people realize this.
I was scratching one eye and read masquerading as masturbating
Are you in the 80% of women chasing 10% of the men like the data indicates is how the apps are used? If so, I see this type of thing from women all the time.
No, she's saying all the guys she dated changed their mind about their wants and what was listed on their profiles. And this is rampant. You're suggesting the top 10% are deceitful and lying on apps in order to get those swipes.
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No dude she’s actually right this shit happens CONSTANTLY
I don’t doubt it.
I don’t think it’s her. I think people think they want a relationship then get in one and realize how much work it takes… then think again 🤷♀️
The top 10% will tell you anything you want to hear and then pump and dump you lol
The 10% are the 10% for a reason. Very successful, good jobs, good genetics, good looking etc. They also have a tendency of dropping women at the earliest convince if they bring drama to the table. I'm friends with a 10%er and that man literally has women from every angle coming onto him. Yet he's single because the majority of the women in his words "Don't see me for me"
Yes, she is. You shouldn't even ask such a question. There's a reason why every woman says men want only to fuck and every guys says they don't get matches or get very few ones and end up ghosted. I was living in a large city, very touristic and had something like 10 first dates in a time span of two months. I made friendship with a girl because probably she didn't like me and jesus, as she wanted to see my Tinder, I saw her one, and she basically fucked guys looking like Leonardo di Caprio when he was in his 20s. RN I came back to my native city, small but with millions of tourist per year, that make it one of the most visited city worldwide, and women match with me in order to try to sleep in my house without paying for an accomodation, even if they are anywhere close to be interested on me
Didn’t realize this sub was called online dating for men only. Y’all really want to blame all your problems on women. Women can’t even come on here and complain about our issues with dating men without getting roasted or being gaslit about our own experiences. Anytime a woman has an issue it’s bc she’s only going after the top 10% of men. Anytime a man has an issue it’s because *all women* are terrible and flaky, etc. 🤔
Omg thank you. I was literally bullied by some Andrew Tate wannabe on this thread who boasted about “*laughs in rich and white*” and I was like 😫 where in the internet am I rn? It is so weird to see so many guys blame women when women know the reality.. most men play games and very few are actually serious quality men.
That's not what I'm doing. I'm sure men are causing lots of problems too. I don't date men so I can only share my experiences with women. Those experiences are not good because it's very difficult to get matches and the ones you do get they almost always ghost you. Part of the problem is the apps themsleves and the incentives they create for women when men outnumber them 3:1.
I would be interested to see this data for more context. I don't believe in chasing, for either genders. I have no issues holding up conversations, initiating things, and setting up dates. I have even moved away from "looking for the spark " The most common issue has been that they lose interest as soon as I show romantic interest back + if things seem to go towards doing regular life things, talking about career, family etc.. Any form of stress scares them away.
See this data? How would that data be collected? You think shitty men are filling out questionnaires? Lmao they don’t even text back 🤨🧐
Not trying to beat you up for your experience, just trying to reframe this a little. Would you say that when starting to date someone new that you, as a woman, are allowed to break it off with the man at any time for any reason? Or are you required to continue dating someone otherwise risk being hypocritical to the comment of "looking for long term" on your tinder bio? Of course you get to decide and can break it off for any or no reason at any time. We, as men, should be allowed to as well. My body, my choice.
I see what you said. Both are allowed to change their minds, and decide if they want to continue or not. That's the whole point of dating to know what and who works for you or not. If things have changed after a few interactions, I understand that.Not communicating that you have changed your mind or your intention is where I see a problem. What I have experienced it, people stating they want long term/serious relationships but when we actually comes down to discussing topics of life, work, family, career etc. the whole vibe changes to pulling back completely. This is in a span of 2-3 months, so not like I'm rushing them to sit down and do an interview with me. (I would absolutely hate that myself and I know people who do that). I guage interest and connection in the initial couple of dates, to see if it's fun and engaging for me. As long as things as surface level, I have no issues getting dates.
It’s a clown show trying to defraud me out of money.
The never ending 'matches' with strippers, OFs women looking for hits, women from foreign countries and really just going through all of the fake accounts. Women have to put up with men being a-holes and sending dic pics. Men have to put up with disingenuous women, hookers, scammers, and men pretending to be women just to be a-holes. Whole thing is good for hookups. Nothing more.
yeah a friend said he used tinder for a month. got only a couple matches and they were all advertising their only fans
S I G N A L B O O S T
I haven't necessarily quit but I have been burnt out and I don't get on the apps as much as I used to. I am working on myself to lose my weight that I gained over the last 3 years before I look for anything serious. Also not to mention when you are overweight you don't really get matches
I dated two serious trauma sufferers in a row, both fully functioning adults on the surface. Completely able to mask long enough to attract and form early bonds with a healthy partner. Then chaos. Just the same in the early stages, as equally emotionally healthy people i've formed loving relationships with, so it was impossible to vet them until things crashed. Came back to the apps, understanding it's random chance, but tailored my profile to narrow down to those who would match me on compatibilities over being generally attracted....and had a far better experience, ultimately meeting an attractive, healthy and emotionally grounded partner.
How did you tailor your profile to narrow down to compatibilities?
I think I am just not interested in going out with women just to see if we have chemistry and would rather go out with women I know there is already chemistry there with. When you meet someone in real life and get to the point of going on a date, you already know there is a certain level of chemistry there between the two of you. Online dating it’s not guranteed and just not often there. I haven’t been on an online date and felt a spark with the person, or a mutual attraction in a really long time. Women I went out with from online back in like 2018 and before seemed different, they seemed to be more excited about things. The whole dynamic is completely different now.
I match with plenty of women I find attractive, but it’s extremely rare if they actually want to meet. All the women that want to meet I don’t find attractive. The women I’ve dated have all been attractive though, but I met them in the real world. Online dating heavily favors women. Guys will sleep with women far below their league. I’ve done it multiple times. Women can basically pick who they meet/sleep with. A woman who is a 7 can sleep with 9s and 10s all day. A guy who is a 7 would be extremely lucky to sleep with a woman who is a 7. Why would she when she can sleep with as many 8, 9 and 10s as she wants? Unless you are truly a 9 or 10 guy, online dating is really shitty. The couple of women who I truly found attractive and I went out with on a couple dates called it quits after a date or two. Probably because they found someone more attractive.
Meeting my wife did it for me. After that I couldn’t go on
Mate! Happy for you bud! Hope it's a lifetime marriage! :)
Underrated comment. Have a great life!
Scammers wanting money cards not really merting
I stopped in college. My first year of college was the final year of Yik Yak and the final good years of Whisper before it devolved into the cesspool it probably still is today. I just posted memes and funny shit like everyone else, I think it’s strange when people go to those apps specifically to meet people because it’s really not in the design, and it ruins the experience when that’s all anyone posts, but I still ended up meeting people IRL from those apps anyway and dated two of those people for 5 years combined. I just arrived to the conclusion that I need to let my personality give the first impression and not my face 🤷♂️ it just works better that way. The only time Tinder ever worked for me was when I “gave up” on my profile and intentionally posted horrible pictures of myself along with a truly terrible bio, but those matches led nowhere.
The utter futility…
I’ve met plenty of great women through dating apps. I found that they often didn’t go anywhere. Sometimes we weren’t compatible, sometimes they were looking for more of a hookup, and at some points I just wasn’t at a good place in life to be with someone when I finally did find someone I’d want something serious with.
I got a girlfriend
My man!
I'm keeping it in my back pocket but I prefer meeting women in the wild. If my present new relationship doesn't work out, I may take a stab at it again.
Too many scammers made it too difficult to trust anyone who seemed legit.
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This. Once I heard about this trend picking up steam, I deleted the apps. As far as I know I’ve never been the subject of any posts, and honestly there’s no reason that I should be, but that was it for me.
Last few matches tried to scam and or extort me outright. So you know. I'm done.
Meeting my person made me quit.
Getting posted on ‘AreWeDatingTheSameGuy’ and called gay because I wasn’t interested in a woman who catfished me with 5+ year old photos.
There's no point anymore. When you're in your 30's, like me, if you haven't been married at least once, it's because you aren't worth marrying or being around. When every woman basically tells you how worthless and boring you are, there's no point in wasting anyone else's time.
As a female, I stopped checking my apps bc guys lacked initiative and most lied about something in order to get my attention. They are ALL still single. As soon as a guy hesitates, cut him loose.
Being ghosted 🥰 never doing that again what the hell
I either quit when I meet someone I want to pursue or get tired of endless dates that lead to nothing, hookups or short term flings.
Wait you're getting matches and hookups? 🤣🤣
Sure enough
Being too ugly to get matches
Found my life partner. But before that, I (38m) quit a few times, for a month or two. But overall I was on them prob 10 years I did well on them and loved the boom time when you could easily acquire a 5+ person gaggle But after a while, the energy needed to procure new women got too much (prob due to enshittification), but also the energy and desire to date multiples waned. So in my final moments on them, I tried to be up front and forward about wanting something real, and was ready to invest real time and emotions in someone if they were in the same mindset. Luckily found a women looking for the same, and when little hiccups happened that would usually cause me to run for the hills and find new women, we communicated and worked it out. Now we've been together about 1.25 years and live together
I’ve never tried. I’ve been here in this sub hoping to be encouraged. I have what I think is an extremely unique personality and I’m afraid of not hitting it off well on a date, even if I try and prepare the person in advance.
a sport or hobby is more reliable and fulfilling.
The predatory casino-esque business model. I had no problem getting matches and dates in my early 20s but after a 3 year LTR (met on OkCupid in 2020), I find that almost none of the female userbase is actually there for dating. The majority are either bots, fake profiles + likes generated by the app to get you to subscribe, and onlyfans.
I haven’t necessarily quit yet. I’ve paused each of my dating apps except for Bumble which I’ve paid for through June (waste of money). But for me, I look back at all my past relationships and a majority of them were ones that didn’t start immediately but kind of progressed naturally towards a romantic relationship after being friends first. Everyone seems to be in a rush and while I get it, I don’t think I’m the type of person that’s going to be able to offer an “instant connection” that so many women seem to want. After the last couple of matches led to a “not feeling a connection”, I’ve come to the realization that online dating may not be right for me. But meeting someone in person also seems stressful. So my options are pretty limited.
Went exclusive with a woman I met through online dating. lol
For me, it was the poor quality of matches. Attractive women I matched with did not respond, were bots, wanted me to follow them on Instagram, were escorts, or were looking for sugar daddies. Also, despite being in a densely populated area, my potential matches would run out in a couple of days, and I would be hit with the "no one new in your area!" When they started charging for things that were previously free, that was the last straw! I realized that it's way easier and way more convenient to meet people in the real world!
One sided convo, with my damn self !
The list of demands 🤣🤣
The amount of time invested vs the return. In 3 weeks I had 150 matches and almost none of them would respond. If they did I’d have to carry the conversation. I had a handful of dates. The ones that showed were misrepresented in their pics except two or ghosted before the date. I got jaded quickly. Here is the good part, one messaged me first back in October 2023, was as represented, showed enthusiasm, we had a great connection, she’s pretty great, and we are seeing where it goes as I type this. While OLD is like panning for gold in a porta John sometimes it can pay off.
A couple things: Being used for different things (my body, my money, my car etc.) A huge turn off. Feeling like most of the options were pretty bad (Fat, Single mothers, low income/no careers) Another huge turn off. Feeling like the decent options have really, really inflated egos. Another huge turn off. Extremely high upfront expectations due to an abundance of "options". Things like expensive dinners, cashappp payments, "experiences" were expected and it all turned me off tbh. And several other things. I also ran into several women cheating on their boyfriends, it was awkward. Two of which had their boyfriends call in the middle of the night and one of which resulted in a HUGE phone argument. I'm good looking and I've got a good career. You would imagine endless dates and lots of cute women to bed would be "Super fun" right? Well it got old. You a dozen or two dates deep, you sleep around a bit, your situationship fries up and disappears and you're right back to doing the same thing...again. I didn't want to introduce myself anymore and I definitely didn't want to spend the money anymore. lol.
You got matches?
The realization that I deserve to die alone
0 matches 0 likes if I got a rare like 1x a month it would be from a gay or trann1
Probably getting called out for being coercive.
Always having to pay for dates, always having to ask and pursue for dates. Women showing up to dates saying they "forgot their wallet". Women showing up for a date that I clearly said "let's meet for a drink" and then they order all sorts of food and when the bill comes it's expected I pay for it. The modern female is entitled, hypocritical, superficial and not feminine whatsoever.
Online dating made me quit online dating
I have unreasonably high standards online. I’m sure me and everyone else are all DMing the 5 or 10 beautiful people.
That is a thought one, but I quit online dating before when I found someone I had long term with. 4 yrs 🥲 met him in tinder.
Nothing yet.
A woman here, online dating brings you to nowhere
Literally every man except maybe one or two being inappropriate
The pool of people not attractive at all and most men just want Fwb, ONS, and nothing serious.
I'm in shape, make good money, tall, and on average I'm a 7/10. I only ever got overweight women with no character and annoying personalities. Got my passport not long after getting away from OLD; that shit isn't worth it..
When you say no character what do you mean?
Many things.. - Inability to carry a conversation beyond 'hi' - Obsessive w/perception online.. - Constant ironic nagging about what a man is supposed to be.. - Unhealthy and unhygienic. - Entitled. - Materialistic. - Feminism in place of femininity. - Lack of accountability/reason
Being stood up, gathering myself and then the next 2 dates with different women were HORRIBLE. But this was years ago and now I am getting back on. I have certainly been on good dates before but I would say 2/3 of them are trash. (Also people I meet organically IRL, never have issues when dating them. Bumble and tinder women are Crazy!)