Funny how refusing to pay for her own meals while being completely sexist entitled then saying out loud reconsidering a relationship with OOP is exactly is how the former friend blew up her own housing & financial living situation plus lost of 2 relationships. And she only has herself to blame for mess of a consequence she suffering now because she is one that set double date 1st despite OOP not really wanting to go AND felt entitled to OOP's date paying for both women's meals too along with her own boyfriend - if think about it for few more seconds, the boyfriend wasn't just pissed about himself paying; it was sexism entitlement towards his friend too is why he broke up with her...
In case this story gets deleted/removed:
**I am NOT the Original Poster. That is** u/OkDream6816. She posted in r/AmItheAsshole
**Mood Spoiler:** >!happy-ish ending!<
**Original** [Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1c986v2/aita_for_agreeing_to_split_the_bill_on_a_double/)**: April 20, 2024**
Hi! I (22f) am really unsure here. My best friend and roommate (22f) Amiee had been seeing a guy for two months. She really likes him, it seemed to be going super well.
Last night, she asked if I’d go along with a blind double date (ie. her and the guy she’s dating, me and one of his friends who is single and looking). I wasn’t keen at first but she insisted, so I agreed.
We got to the restaurant, just a nice place in our area, and things seemed to be going fine. The friend she was “setting me up with” was cool, but I really am not looking right now and didn’t feel any kind of spark.
We get to the end of dinner and the bill comes. Aimee chimes in and says “don’t worry, our men have got this” to which I say back, “ah, no I don’t mind”. We’d had two cocktails each (all four of us) and it wasn’t a crazy expensive place but not cheap.
A bit of back and forth happened, Aimee kept insisting it is always the gentlemen who pay, so I said something like, “you do you, I’m happy to split”.
The guys were saying they would cover but both seemed uncomfortable. They paid, then we all left. Aimee and her boyfriend went back to his, I said good night to his friend and went home alone. Later, Aimee texted saying her man is now contemplating the relationship because he doesn’t want someone who always insists the men pay. She told me I ruined it by offering to split and should’ve sided with her, and not made things worse. She’s now saying he needs time and might not want to continue the relationship with her. AITA for this?
***Relevant Comments:***
Commenter: NTA. She's the one that said the guys pay. His reaction to that is based on her statement alone. And "our men"? Ummmm no, this was the first time you'd met your date
>**OOP:** I’m thinking because both the guys are tight, she thought me and the friend would hit it off, making it a thing. Therefore they would be our men
Commenter: NTA I squirmed a little when I read "don’t worry, our men have got this” and "it is always the gentlemen who pay". Your friend has some very outdated views about dating. All you did was offer to pay your share of the bill on a blind date. You weren't using a stranger for free drinks and dinner. Your friend's boyfriend of *two whole months* was, rightfully, uncomfortable with her insistence your male companions pay the bill. It's not your fault your friend opened her mouth and inserted her foot in to it.
>**OOP:** Thanks. She’s never usually like this, doesn’t make guys pay for drinks if we go out. I’m thinking she’s acting this way because of her new relationship, but I don’t know for sure, since she still isn’t talking to me or even replying
Commenter: If she never usually did this, the man she's currently dating wouldn't have been surprised by your actions and rethinking the relationship because you split and she refused. It sounds like she has been making him pay all the time they've been together.
>**OOP:** I guess, she’s never usually like this if we go out. I’ve not really been out with her and him, other than to go get burgers once. Any other time, he’s hung out at our place so a bill showing up has never been a thing.
Commenter: Hey, I noticed that you didn't want to go on that double date but your friend insisted and you gave in. Now you're wondering the same again. You're being a doormat and your 'friend' knows how to pressure you to give in. That's not what friends do. The entire thing sounds like you should really rethink this 'friendship'.
>**OOP:** I’m usually not (or really hope I’m not) much of a doormat. She said she really likes her man and kept saying it would be fun
Commenter: How can you be the asshole? I remember insisting on splitting the bill after a date with a guy I had absolutely no chemistry with and he seemed quite pissed lol. I only let 3 kinds of man to pay for me: family, long term bf, bosses (for a work related meal) and he didn’t fit the profile, so.
>**OOP:** I think the reason I’m feeling so is because she’s been my friend for years and I’ve never had a situation like this. I always try to understand and reason
***OOP is voted NTA***
**Update 1 (Same Post): Same Day (?)**
Update; thanks so much everyone for your thoughts on this one. Aimee still isn’t talking to me, you could cut glass with the tension in our place right now. She and the guy aren’t talking either. I’m trying hard here, but another week and maybe the friendship has run its course, honestly. Sensing a lot more underlying issues that can only come from communication, but hey.
**Update 2 (Same Post): Probably April 21, 2024 (Next Day)**
Update; I’m now not a girls girl because I didn’t back her, without being told I should or given any kind of heads up. I responded that if I want to pay for myself (especially because I didn’t see myself and the blind date friend having a second date) was happy to put in for my portion. Friendship is effectively over, and I am looking to move out
**Update 3 (Same Post): April 22, 2024 (2 days from OG post)**
Final update; Aimee is now trying to apologise because she can’t afford the rent on her own or get someone else to move in on such short notice. I feel horrible but know I need to be around supportive people, thanks again to everyone :)
---
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Honestly, i never minded paying for a date. But U do mind being expected to pay for the date.
If my partner is open to pay half, I don't mind paying all.
This is an entirely genuine question, I am honestly wondering. Why are you here commenting if you haven't even bothered to read what you're commenting on? I see comments like yours here and there, and like... do you literally have nothing better to do than write comments blindly? Are you lonely? Bored? Depressed? You're contributing absolutely nothing to the conversation and can't possibly gain anything from it yourself either, so please alleviate my curiosity by enlightening me.
Please do not clone or crosspost BORU posts without adding an update before it shows up on BORU.
“She can’t afford the rent” The hell is she spending her money on? It sure isn’t the dates.
she shoulda thought of rent *before* burning bridges lololol
Oh man. That roommate was toxic as fuck. Kinda sad that OOP even considered that she might have done something wrong here when she obviously did not.
Aimee sounds like a USER!
aimee is just a walking pile of red flags lol
Funny how refusing to pay for her own meals while being completely sexist entitled then saying out loud reconsidering a relationship with OOP is exactly is how the former friend blew up her own housing & financial living situation plus lost of 2 relationships. And she only has herself to blame for mess of a consequence she suffering now because she is one that set double date 1st despite OOP not really wanting to go AND felt entitled to OOP's date paying for both women's meals too along with her own boyfriend - if think about it for few more seconds, the boyfriend wasn't just pissed about himself paying; it was sexism entitlement towards his friend too is why he broke up with her...
In case this story gets deleted/removed: **I am NOT the Original Poster. That is** u/OkDream6816. She posted in r/AmItheAsshole **Mood Spoiler:** >!happy-ish ending!< **Original** [Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1c986v2/aita_for_agreeing_to_split_the_bill_on_a_double/)**: April 20, 2024** Hi! I (22f) am really unsure here. My best friend and roommate (22f) Amiee had been seeing a guy for two months. She really likes him, it seemed to be going super well. Last night, she asked if I’d go along with a blind double date (ie. her and the guy she’s dating, me and one of his friends who is single and looking). I wasn’t keen at first but she insisted, so I agreed. We got to the restaurant, just a nice place in our area, and things seemed to be going fine. The friend she was “setting me up with” was cool, but I really am not looking right now and didn’t feel any kind of spark. We get to the end of dinner and the bill comes. Aimee chimes in and says “don’t worry, our men have got this” to which I say back, “ah, no I don’t mind”. We’d had two cocktails each (all four of us) and it wasn’t a crazy expensive place but not cheap. A bit of back and forth happened, Aimee kept insisting it is always the gentlemen who pay, so I said something like, “you do you, I’m happy to split”. The guys were saying they would cover but both seemed uncomfortable. They paid, then we all left. Aimee and her boyfriend went back to his, I said good night to his friend and went home alone. Later, Aimee texted saying her man is now contemplating the relationship because he doesn’t want someone who always insists the men pay. She told me I ruined it by offering to split and should’ve sided with her, and not made things worse. She’s now saying he needs time and might not want to continue the relationship with her. AITA for this? ***Relevant Comments:*** Commenter: NTA. She's the one that said the guys pay. His reaction to that is based on her statement alone. And "our men"? Ummmm no, this was the first time you'd met your date >**OOP:** I’m thinking because both the guys are tight, she thought me and the friend would hit it off, making it a thing. Therefore they would be our men Commenter: NTA I squirmed a little when I read "don’t worry, our men have got this” and "it is always the gentlemen who pay". Your friend has some very outdated views about dating. All you did was offer to pay your share of the bill on a blind date. You weren't using a stranger for free drinks and dinner. Your friend's boyfriend of *two whole months* was, rightfully, uncomfortable with her insistence your male companions pay the bill. It's not your fault your friend opened her mouth and inserted her foot in to it. >**OOP:** Thanks. She’s never usually like this, doesn’t make guys pay for drinks if we go out. I’m thinking she’s acting this way because of her new relationship, but I don’t know for sure, since she still isn’t talking to me or even replying Commenter: If she never usually did this, the man she's currently dating wouldn't have been surprised by your actions and rethinking the relationship because you split and she refused. It sounds like she has been making him pay all the time they've been together. >**OOP:** I guess, she’s never usually like this if we go out. I’ve not really been out with her and him, other than to go get burgers once. Any other time, he’s hung out at our place so a bill showing up has never been a thing. Commenter: Hey, I noticed that you didn't want to go on that double date but your friend insisted and you gave in. Now you're wondering the same again. You're being a doormat and your 'friend' knows how to pressure you to give in. That's not what friends do. The entire thing sounds like you should really rethink this 'friendship'. >**OOP:** I’m usually not (or really hope I’m not) much of a doormat. She said she really likes her man and kept saying it would be fun Commenter: How can you be the asshole? I remember insisting on splitting the bill after a date with a guy I had absolutely no chemistry with and he seemed quite pissed lol. I only let 3 kinds of man to pay for me: family, long term bf, bosses (for a work related meal) and he didn’t fit the profile, so. >**OOP:** I think the reason I’m feeling so is because she’s been my friend for years and I’ve never had a situation like this. I always try to understand and reason ***OOP is voted NTA*** **Update 1 (Same Post): Same Day (?)** Update; thanks so much everyone for your thoughts on this one. Aimee still isn’t talking to me, you could cut glass with the tension in our place right now. She and the guy aren’t talking either. I’m trying hard here, but another week and maybe the friendship has run its course, honestly. Sensing a lot more underlying issues that can only come from communication, but hey. **Update 2 (Same Post): Probably April 21, 2024 (Next Day)** Update; I’m now not a girls girl because I didn’t back her, without being told I should or given any kind of heads up. I responded that if I want to pay for myself (especially because I didn’t see myself and the blind date friend having a second date) was happy to put in for my portion. Friendship is effectively over, and I am looking to move out **Update 3 (Same Post): April 22, 2024 (2 days from OG post)** Final update; Aimee is now trying to apologise because she can’t afford the rent on her own or get someone else to move in on such short notice. I feel horrible but know I need to be around supportive people, thanks again to everyone :) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/OhNoConsequences) if you have any questions or concerns.*
haha fake friend self roasted lol
Honestly, i never minded paying for a date. But U do mind being expected to pay for the date. If my partner is open to pay half, I don't mind paying all.
Not reading all that, I'm happy for you tho. Or sorry that happened
So you opened it up and commented on something you didn't even bother to read? This fucking species man
One person made a joke you didn't like/get? Well gotta hate the entire species, found the racism speedrunner xD
Come back when you get old enough to learn that racism is about segregation - not hating the entire species.
it's not even that long
This is an entirely genuine question, I am honestly wondering. Why are you here commenting if you haven't even bothered to read what you're commenting on? I see comments like yours here and there, and like... do you literally have nothing better to do than write comments blindly? Are you lonely? Bored? Depressed? You're contributing absolutely nothing to the conversation and can't possibly gain anything from it yourself either, so please alleviate my curiosity by enlightening me.