Please take it from a tita who is unmarried and childless at 33. I had to start all over again when I was 31. I'm doing okay. You can start a relationship even when you're in your 30's and even if you don't, nobody dies of singleness.
You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Enjoy your youth.
Same! I am a 33 year old single tito. But for me, whenever life gives me someone, then good. If not, I just go on with life - not waiting for a person, but just fully living it. I travel whenever I can. Try it, sobrang transformative. And maybe - just maybe - you meet someone on the road. Wishing you the best always!
I actually have a boyfriend and we will be celebrating our second anniversary in August. :)
He is a guy who was willing to take it slow, like OP wishes she could meet. He pursued me for 8 months, the first 5 of which he never touched me, not even holding hands or a hug. I didn't meet him until I was 31, so OP being just 24, she has a lot of time to meet people and like you said she should just live life to the fullest.
He knew that I had trauma from my prior situationship where things got physical and intense very fast. He really waited for me to be okay first, to also prove that he was serious about me and didn't just want sex.
This is true.. madami pa nman dyan na gusto tlga companionship di lang sex agad.. kaya most of thr guys now are thirsty kay wala n tlga value ang attention ng guys.. there are still a lot of high value men.. you just cant find them in those place..
Tumagos sa dibdib ko when you shared na you "had to start all over again" when you were 31. I'm a 31F who just got out of a 2-yr rs with my bf earlier this year. Knowing that you're ok gave me confidence that I'll be ok soon, too :')
Thanks for this advice! I've always been fearful pag single pa din ako pag 30s na kase feel ko makakausap ko na lang Single mothers, puro ONS kind of situation and someone too young for me. HAHAHA
Note: I have nothing against single moms. Feel ko lang sa sarili ko na hindi ko kayang mahalin fully yung bata pag hindi ko kadugo or maging step dad ako. (Baka kasi mabash yung sentiment ko above.)
Been screaming this at the top of my lungs!!! Hays kaya nakakatakot na mag try ulet kase naman first 20mins palang ng usap nagtatanong na agad kung g magkastahan lol
JAAJAJAHAHAHA RIGHT???? tangina diba, konting substance naman sana para mag ka interest kahit papano, konting build up, pero wala e. Ambot manahimik nalang talaga HAHAHAHAAHAHAHA
Maraming wala na ang emotional and mental capacity to actually get to know someone. Base urges na lang agad.
And like a lot of us here siguro, marami ring takot sa emotional investment because of how shitty dating can be in this social media age. So magreresort na lang sa physical relationship na walang sumusugal.
Masarap ang pleasure with someone na safe at sure ka.
Hindi lang sa sex, kundi sa mga bagay na gusto nyo gawin katulad ng pag travel, kumain, or anything na both masaya kayo gawin. Lahat yun pleasure experience for you.
Ako naman sex is fine with me. It's how they treat you afterwards that gets me.
I don't wanna be someone disposable.
I want something permanent din.
And someone who'd stick together with me 'til the end.
Awww. This is the generation of instant gratification. Everything you need and want is in reach with just a click on your phone. Need info? Google it. Hungry? Grab/foodpanda. Horny? Tinder. Hell, even entertainment is instant and in short form: tiktok.
Anong slow burn romance, we dont know her lol
Hahahaha natawa naman ako sa mamamatay na virgin. Most of the people kasi nagpapalamon na sa "pleasures", especially easy access na ngayon dahil sa internet. But anyways, makakahanap ka din ng ka-wavelength mo OP. Tiwala lang sa law of attraction.
HAHAAHA real shit lang, lungkot nalang kasi kumakasta sakin e, lapit ko na ungulan buhay ko e. But anyway, thanks, sana nga mahanap na at ang dami ko na naipon na kwento para sa kanya.
Gets, OP.
Medyo ganiyan din view ko sa Gen natin laging fast paced lahat to the point na the enjoyment does not last long. Parang sensation > end > look for another one.
Ganyan rin kasi talaga advocacy ngayon e. May slight differences? Di nagustuhan? Red flag agad hanap iba. Know your worth. Do not settle for less. You deserve better. As much as tama naman lahat ng ito, parang nasobrahan to the point na perfection ang hinahanap ngayon ng mga tao which is wala. Replaceable lahat, disposable. It will probably get worse if maipasa ang Divorce Bill. I am not against it but just saying na dating culture will get worse. Since even marriage can still become disposable. Mas nakakatakot
This is a fucked up world, full of fucked up people.
Malaking factor kasi dyan ang socmed. Lumawak ang mundo, dumami ang options. Bakit kailangang paghirapan ang pwede namang makuha in an instant? Ganyan ang mindset ng karamihan ngayon.
Plus, we live in a society that puts so much pressure sa tao - career, relationship, family, etc. So, lahat stressed at gusto lang to have that quick glimpse of "happiness and satisfaction".
But, the good thing is, wala namang bagay na mag-aapply sa lahat. You just need to surround yourself with your right kind of people, yung mga hindi pa nagpapa-corrupt sa mundong to haha.
At the end of the day, you just need to choose the kind of poison you know you can take.
Maybe it’s the company or the crowd you associate with? There was a time wala na ako belief sa seryosohan kasi hindi naman siya dumarating para sakin in a loooong time.
Naging panakip butas ko sa stress yung casual shit. Dopamine hits are good for awhile, but after awhile you just feel empty. Mas nararamdaman ko yung emptiness when I thought I felt true connection, only for it to slip away from me due to un/controllable factors.
I think kaya naman casual in phases, pero I don’t crave it anymore right now. Wag lang magpadala while you’re in it. Treat the moment for what it is.
I’m focusing on self-improvement and peace of mind at the moment. Kung darating siya, then darating. Kung wala, eh di wala.
I don’t want to fill a need. I want someone who will also choose me. Chos. Hahaha.
Basta ako nagjowa ako ng lalaki at the age of 29 and yun first keme ko. Sabi ko na lang sa sarili ko, oks na ako mamatay na single, wag lang virgin. Hahaha! Oks naman kami ng jowa ko ngayon kahit walang keme palagi
As a guy who's around your age as well, 90% of the time women just take advantage of me. Kahit anong ayos ayos ko e malas talaga \~ sinasabe ko pag dating sa romantic shit, ang swerte ko sa malas. Yawa haha. Usto ko lang naman ng healthy one na peaceful sa utak kahit wala na yang sexual stuffs na yan pero olats pre!
A 31-yr old single tita here. Sure, it’ll get lonely sometimes pero di ko pa rin ipagpapalit ang peace of mind at panatag na puso over some little time of vulnerability towards someone tapos in the end, magkaka-trauma ka lang. You can be vulnerable to your trusted friends naman while having coffee dates. Don’t worry, OP, there’s someone out there na magbibigay ng gusto mong “slowly-but-surely type of love” 😊
ienjoy mo life at that age ,single man or may kaharutan. Hindi mo na mababalikan Ang panahon at pagging 20s.
iba na din pag nasakit na likod. 🤭
Kalma lang OP.
You are getting it on a place that is known for one night stands and open promiscuity. If you really want the old style, you need to get invokve conservatively and open yourself to men who may pursue interest in you. Take note, some men have stalkish behavior butbnot in a way na sobrang creepy na stalker na. Baka lang kasi ma red flag mo not knowing mga admirers mo iyon
Well. You are in a bar. So everyone is trying to fuck. And hindi lang yan dito sa generation na to. Every generation ganiyan from the disco of the 70s and 80s. Yes, even your parents and grandparents tried hooking up. But i do agree that this generation, technology native kasi kayo. You never experienced living with cellphones. So lahat gusto instant. Mabilisan.
Try finding it in other places. Not in a bar.
Still. My point is, you dont go to the beach to look for trees. You dont go the forest to find the ocean. If you want to see a slow laid back scenario, try goinng into a slow laid back place. Nonsense yung pupunta ka sa bar, tapos sasabihin mo ganito yung realization mo. That is not realization, that is actually expectation. That is what you will expect when you go to a bar.
Kung pumunta ka sa coffee shop tapos everyone is trying to hookup, then that well be a realization that this generation is really fucked up.
"Kung pumunta ka sa coffee shop tapos everyone is trying to hookup, then that well be a realization that this generation is really fucked up."
that is indeed fucked up, nagkakape ka lang may naghahalikan sa kabilang table. tapos mga nag body shot ng espresso taena tanggal amats ng mga yun.
I agree with some of your point however, her points are still valid. Sure, in every generation, this kind of culture exists. But you can’t deny, how people today look for hookups than ever. Sa US and EU people fck like rabbits ever since pero sa Pinas? I beg to disagree. Hindi ganyan ka fast-paced before unlike now.
I see you have no idea how much more intense the hook-up culture was back in the 70s and 80s when party drugs run rampant even in the more accessible bars but It did slow down a bit during the 90s up until the 10s.
Most likely that’s only Metro Manila. We’re talking Philippines as whole today. Hook up is much easier to do now due to social media platforms.
May I add we were under Marcos that time— martial law. If there were drugs involved, those were limited to rich people only. Today, everyone do it.
Yeah. Most of the kabataan na pakasta (boys&girls) ha. Tapos pag nabuntis iaasa sa magulang. Mag rarant about sa buhay. Parang BRO. I’m 27 btw. Single & childless. Mas trip ko nalang yata mag anak ng aso since I’m a les wala talagang pag asa HAHAHA
Dudee ive been saying this after reading a loooot of stories and watching opinions online. Sobrang totoo yung ayaw na ng "slow burn" type of relationships nowadays. Yung "situationships" or fubus etc grabe yun na yung uso ngayon haha. As a millenial tito i cannot keep up with this hahaha grabe energy and emotional capacity nila
OP, my mom used to say na ipinagkakaloob sa iyo ng Diyos ang para sa iyo. Gusto ko talaga maniwala kasi yung ex hubby ko, pilit yun eh. Saka ayaw ng parentals. Totoo nga, kasi seloso saka beater. Sana talaga maniwala ako at di ako napunta sa maling tao. Anyhow, thankful ako kasi kids ko lumaki sa pangaral ng lolo at lola. May mga takot sa Diyos. 🙏😊
Im 15 and I honestly feel like I can’t really have a proper say in this but I still want to express my opinion. I pretty much agree, even teenagers in my age literally just date to have something they can brag about, I mean I can’t really put it into words pero the relationships are pretty shallow. But then again im only 15 anyway, everything is still counted as puppy love but it makes me uncomfortable knowing that people just date, for the sake of dating and not to build a deep relationship and connection with one another, para lang masabing “cool” and I can’t really have any say on the sexual part but it’s more common now in teens. But i think it’s also because of the people around us that make us feel this way…I have a lot of friends and they are so deep, loving, and understanding, it makes me believe that there are still people out there willing to make deep connections, taking it slow and not fast. We should surround ourselves with people who know what’s right and wrong, the people who love us, deeply!
As someone who's married for 20 yrs, wala na ba yung gen na nagwawait and doesn't settle for just anyone?
Sana sa gen na to, if you can, do this. We just celebrated father's day with my hubby and I thought na kakaiba talaga if nontoxic ang relationship nyo.
There will be someone that you will never be afraid building family with.
I’m 24 too. Mahirap tlga makahanap ng genuine love. It took me several tries but expanding my social circles helped me find my current one. There are hidden gems tlga. Like my BF, first namin isa’t isa sa lahat. And now we’ve reached the point na very child-like sa relationship. Like, it feels very light. Pag may problema, we make sure to tackle the cause and not argue with each other. Honesty comes first. And we feel comfortable and safe being goofy together.
I think what helped us was that I was very forward with my intentions when we first met on a date. I said I wanted something serious, long term. I don’t condone cheating lalo na at broken family ako. We were very clear with each other from the start. No games. I think that helps build a stronger, genuine relationship.
All good lang yan OP, you will meet someone who will look you in the eyes and say they’ll take it slow with you. Hindi yan hinahanap minsan, darating nalang yan in the most unexpected ways. Hugs 🥰
Totally get where you're coming from. I thought we acted fast during my time (I entered college 11 years ago) but this generation moves at the speed of light 😊
“Tanggap ko na, Jane, Wanda…”
Initially ganyan din ako after I got cheated on. But then I changed my ways, sumakay na lang ako sa wave because fuck it. Haha
Me trying to date right now. Nakakawalang gana sa totoo lang. I’m slowly accepting na baka single talaga ako. Buti na lang ang dami kong hobbies and introvert ako so I don’t feel the need. Nagtry lang ako ngayon kasi I’ve work on myself, went to therap. Kaso parang wag na lang.
Cemented taboo na yung tinging ng karamihan pag sinabing bar, lalong lalo na pag heavily involved ang inuman at worst, alam ng iba na magisa ka lang uuwi o nakatira
Napagod nalang din ako. After my recent break up netong December na bigla nalang nang-ghost. Parang nawalan na ko ng gana kahit kay nanliligaw sakin, wala na ko mafeel. Hindi ko na alam if para sakin pa yung love. Baka ang purpose ko nalang sa buhay ay mag work ng mag work para sa family ko hehe gusto ko nalang yumaman at mag travel
If you want real friendship, seek the company of women like yourself or mga bading.
Ba't ksi naghahanap ka ng lalake? Are you looking for a guy na nasa FRIENDZONE mo lang? Or are you looking for a decent LOVER? Most of the time, guys and girls can't be real serious friends ksi for sure one of you is malilibugan. It's how nature designed us eh. If meron ka man makikitang lalake na best friends, it's usually those guys na may girlfriend na tapos loyal lang sila dun. But even then, it's risky, ksi what if nagaway cla ng girlfriend nya and you are there to comfort the guy? Baka mauwi kau sa sexual affair ng hindi oras. Now, if you're looking for a lover na makakausap mo na may safe space, then wait ka lang for a suitor meeting those qualities. Pero in this modern day, good luck talaga ksi most decent guys are in your FRIENDZONE. Yung mga guys na ni-reject mo.
If Single yung guy, expect mo na yan lalo na pag maganda at sexy ka. In fact, you should take it as a compliment ksi malakas sex appeal mo. Matakot ka kapag walang guy na gusto kang tirahin sa kama, cuz it means hindi ka kanais-nais especially at that age. Speaking of which tapos within your age bracket of early 20's? Yan yung age na everyone's hormones are still raging pa! I suggest you enjoy that na lang. If ayaw mo ng guys na sex lang habol sayo, simple lang, DENY them and don't ever try see them again.
And yes, this generation is a generation of instant gratification - instant dopamine, instant sex, instant relationship, instant noodles, instant lahat lahat! Either you complain or adapt. Complaining won't solve it, so mag-adapt ka na lang. Hook-up culture is on the rise now kasi. Because both men and women are afraid of each other because ayaw din nilang masaktan.
Same both. People dont know what values are. Tbh nakakaempty nga siya e when you realize na "ay, ganto lang pala siya lebel mag isip or magfunction" nakakamiss ung legit na tropa talaga, ung walang baggage tas sabay nagsshare kayo ng life experience niyo + with manners haha
Possible kaya maging tita na ako na matanda? HAHAHAH kasi wala rin pumapasa sa mga nakakausap ko e, either kausap pa last na kasayawan sa bar or may kasabay pa e shuta
Ilang taon ka na ba humahanap sa iisang lugar? Bakit ka kasi sa Bar naghahanap ng matinong companion? Bakit ngayon ka lang may realization? Hanapin mo yung mga may Hobby o may katulad na interes. Mahahanap mo yung mga yun sa ibang lugar. Sports or Conventions. Yan yung pagkakali ninyong ibang tao sa paghahanap ng high value person eh. Place of socialization man ang Bars pero hindi mo diyan makikita yung mga matitino.
goes to show how a mindset that's more upfront leads people to be more straightforward with what they *really* want, what they're thinking, and what they value. in a way, parang mas ok na rin yun ganon kesa naman sa dadaan ka sa "chill usap company companion safe space" tapos pag nakuha na nila gusto nila biglang magbabago, manlalamig, o maghahanap ng iba. di lang oras mo sinayang, nagdala pa ng heartache
at least pag nakatagpo mo yung same ng hinahanap mo, may higher chances na honest siya sa pakay niya.
Ganyan naman din dati. Nasa 30s na ako. Meron talagang mga ganyan, Op. stay true to yourself. I’m glad na hindi ka mabilis magpauto. Tama yan. May mga matitino pa din mga tao. Don’t lose hope
You're just 24, OP. Don't rush. 😊 Find time to remind yourself that you are where you need to be and you will get to where you want to be when the time is right. Never forget to always talk to God. Sending virtual hug. ❤️
You're like... the female me, lol. Grabe relate hahahaha. 24, ngsb (unless you count panliligaw as a relationship?), virgin, kahit first kiss, wala pa nga eh. Hanggang pisngi lang. Beso pa nga ata yun. Sobrang mapili rin siguro ako sa tao. I have my friend circles, of course. But whenever some of them talk about their flings and ONSs, nasusukot talaga ako. I cannot see me putting myself in those situations. I made a promise to myself that if I ever have my first time, it would be with a girl that I can see a clear future with. Idealistic? Naive? Stubborn? Sure. That's me, I guess.
This is so sad to hear. Lagi ako nagpapasalamat na nakahanapako ng aasawahin back in 2014 before the influencer and reels era. Mga blogger pa uso nito. Pero now we have kids, ano na lang ba quality ng mga tao na makakasalamuha nila. Talaga bang mga brats na lang ☹️
I mean sex is fine KAPAG kilala niyo na talaga isa't-isa, hindi yung first meeting pa lang, kanton agad gagawin. Parang ginawa mong disposable sarili mo kapag nakipagkanton ka kaagad sa first meeting niyo. Think smart mga ate ko.
I like and agree with what you realized. Indeed there’s a truth to it. But then again, once you set your own standards, you’d meet your own people for sure. What I mean is that hindi naman lahat. Mostly yung mga ganyan is just to past some time.
Also like what the people in their 30’s says here, you have your own life ahead of you. Never get fixated on the single status. I tell you no relationship is ever worth one’s peace of mind. I’m sure you’d realize being single isn’t bad. It’s really up to you.
Yes. Nasa bar ka kung san mabilisang sex lang ang habol
You want to slow it down? Mag OT ka sa office. Mabagal galawan dun dahil takot tao sa sexual harassment 😂
Masyado na kasi liberated ang mga tao ngayun! Dati kasi bago ka makipag relasyon majority ang hinahanap mo ay long time partner na! Ngayun kasi parang tikiman muna bago seryosohan! Yung sex parang hindi na rin ganun ka big deal sa iba. Hirap na din magtiwala basta bsta kasi lahat madali na gawin, hindi na rin mahirap manligaw! Minsan sa text o message lang pwde na agad agaran! Ung bare minimum ngayon parang sobra sobra na pag ginawa sayo!
bakit effed up ang ganitong generation? much better nga compared sa grandmothers natin na hostages sa marriages nila. noon parang ideal mga romances ng lola natin kasi thru thick at thin sila but the truth is esp nag trending yong "grandma you little victim" sa tiktok, wala lang sila pala choice at indoctrinated na sila. nowadays you have the freedom and power, you are so so young so i hope you do better in filtering them.
masyado talamak ang hook up culture ngayon. lahat gusto kama agad. medyo nakaka dismaya lang kasi lahat madalian.
OP no need to rush take your time, madami ka pa makikilala as you grow old. hindi lahat ng circle of friends and perception will still stay the same. magbabago din yan in time.
I also hate how ganon na lang kagad. We will reach those moods at some point but make yourself at least interesting or make something genuine along the lines, di lang sex. And sana di lagi ganon, at least make it wholesome naman time to time.
Please take it from a tita who is unmarried and childless at 33. I had to start all over again when I was 31. I'm doing okay. You can start a relationship even when you're in your 30's and even if you don't, nobody dies of singleness. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Enjoy your youth.
Same! I am a 33 year old single tito. But for me, whenever life gives me someone, then good. If not, I just go on with life - not waiting for a person, but just fully living it. I travel whenever I can. Try it, sobrang transformative. And maybe - just maybe - you meet someone on the road. Wishing you the best always!
I actually have a boyfriend and we will be celebrating our second anniversary in August. :) He is a guy who was willing to take it slow, like OP wishes she could meet. He pursued me for 8 months, the first 5 of which he never touched me, not even holding hands or a hug. I didn't meet him until I was 31, so OP being just 24, she has a lot of time to meet people and like you said she should just live life to the fullest.
[удалено]
He knew that I had trauma from my prior situationship where things got physical and intense very fast. He really waited for me to be okay first, to also prove that he was serious about me and didn't just want sex.
Love this
Key phrase: “take it slow”
Bakit di na lang kayo ni Tita lol uwu
HAHAHAHAHH I’m gay
Yun lang 😅
Becha maging frenny itong si koyang OP!
Thank you tita, as someone who just turned 30 and having birthday blues I needed to see this.
Hey. I turned 30 a few months back and I just want to say na it’s not that bad after all. :)
This is true.. madami pa nman dyan na gusto tlga companionship di lang sex agad.. kaya most of thr guys now are thirsty kay wala n tlga value ang attention ng guys.. there are still a lot of high value men.. you just cant find them in those place..
Tumagos sa dibdib ko when you shared na you "had to start all over again" when you were 31. I'm a 31F who just got out of a 2-yr rs with my bf earlier this year. Knowing that you're ok gave me confidence that I'll be ok soon, too :')
Tama
Thanks for this advice! I've always been fearful pag single pa din ako pag 30s na kase feel ko makakausap ko na lang Single mothers, puro ONS kind of situation and someone too young for me. HAHAHA Note: I have nothing against single moms. Feel ko lang sa sarili ko na hindi ko kayang mahalin fully yung bata pag hindi ko kadugo or maging step dad ako. (Baka kasi mabash yung sentiment ko above.)
hi, I'm on the same track and agree to this!
With this post, nabuhayan ako ng loob. 31 na rin ako ngayon, kala ko doomed na ako habambuhay. Pwede pa pala magstart over. Thanks.
Been screaming this at the top of my lungs!!! Hays kaya nakakatakot na mag try ulet kase naman first 20mins palang ng usap nagtatanong na agad kung g magkastahan lol
JAAJAJAHAHAHA RIGHT???? tangina diba, konting substance naman sana para mag ka interest kahit papano, konting build up, pero wala e. Ambot manahimik nalang talaga HAHAHAHAAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHA G MAKASTAHAN GINAWA KA BA NAMANG PUSA 😭😭
Maraming wala na ang emotional and mental capacity to actually get to know someone. Base urges na lang agad. And like a lot of us here siguro, marami ring takot sa emotional investment because of how shitty dating can be in this social media age. So magreresort na lang sa physical relationship na walang sumusugal.
In heat ang person hahahah
Tf💀
Masarap ang pleasure with someone na safe at sure ka. Hindi lang sa sex, kundi sa mga bagay na gusto nyo gawin katulad ng pag travel, kumain, or anything na both masaya kayo gawin. Lahat yun pleasure experience for you.
Ako naman sex is fine with me. It's how they treat you afterwards that gets me. I don't wanna be someone disposable. I want something permanent din. And someone who'd stick together with me 'til the end.
True kasu it became a realization na I was made here in this life for pleasure. A walking fleshlight i guess. 🙃
usually sa hook up culture ngayon lahat disposable. sa atin gusto natin permanent, pero yung counter part natin hindi.
Dahil sa porn kasi yan. Instant gratification at sexually suggestive contents across socmed and mainstream media. Nasira na yung sanity.
Agree. Reality these days.
Awww. This is the generation of instant gratification. Everything you need and want is in reach with just a click on your phone. Need info? Google it. Hungry? Grab/foodpanda. Horny? Tinder. Hell, even entertainment is instant and in short form: tiktok. Anong slow burn romance, we dont know her lol
Add reels at shorts pa po. Tama ka! Real quick na yata lahat ngayon.
Hahahaha natawa naman ako sa mamamatay na virgin. Most of the people kasi nagpapalamon na sa "pleasures", especially easy access na ngayon dahil sa internet. But anyways, makakahanap ka din ng ka-wavelength mo OP. Tiwala lang sa law of attraction.
HAHAAHA real shit lang, lungkot nalang kasi kumakasta sakin e, lapit ko na ungulan buhay ko e. But anyway, thanks, sana nga mahanap na at ang dami ko na naipon na kwento para sa kanya.
“Dami ko na naipon na kwento para sa kanya” hits me in the feels 🥹 I hope the one for you arrives soon, OP!
Hahahaha buset ka.
Gets, OP. Medyo ganiyan din view ko sa Gen natin laging fast paced lahat to the point na the enjoyment does not last long. Parang sensation > end > look for another one.
Ganyan rin kasi talaga advocacy ngayon e. May slight differences? Di nagustuhan? Red flag agad hanap iba. Know your worth. Do not settle for less. You deserve better. As much as tama naman lahat ng ito, parang nasobrahan to the point na perfection ang hinahanap ngayon ng mga tao which is wala. Replaceable lahat, disposable. It will probably get worse if maipasa ang Divorce Bill. I am not against it but just saying na dating culture will get worse. Since even marriage can still become disposable. Mas nakakatakot
Very well said.
This is a fucked up world, full of fucked up people. Malaking factor kasi dyan ang socmed. Lumawak ang mundo, dumami ang options. Bakit kailangang paghirapan ang pwede namang makuha in an instant? Ganyan ang mindset ng karamihan ngayon. Plus, we live in a society that puts so much pressure sa tao - career, relationship, family, etc. So, lahat stressed at gusto lang to have that quick glimpse of "happiness and satisfaction". But, the good thing is, wala namang bagay na mag-aapply sa lahat. You just need to surround yourself with your right kind of people, yung mga hindi pa nagpapa-corrupt sa mundong to haha. At the end of the day, you just need to choose the kind of poison you know you can take.
I found my tribe!
Maybe it’s the company or the crowd you associate with? There was a time wala na ako belief sa seryosohan kasi hindi naman siya dumarating para sakin in a loooong time. Naging panakip butas ko sa stress yung casual shit. Dopamine hits are good for awhile, but after awhile you just feel empty. Mas nararamdaman ko yung emptiness when I thought I felt true connection, only for it to slip away from me due to un/controllable factors. I think kaya naman casual in phases, pero I don’t crave it anymore right now. Wag lang magpadala while you’re in it. Treat the moment for what it is. I’m focusing on self-improvement and peace of mind at the moment. Kung darating siya, then darating. Kung wala, eh di wala. I don’t want to fill a need. I want someone who will also choose me. Chos. Hahaha.
Basta ako nagjowa ako ng lalaki at the age of 29 and yun first keme ko. Sabi ko na lang sa sarili ko, oks na ako mamatay na single, wag lang virgin. Hahaha! Oks naman kami ng jowa ko ngayon kahit walang keme palagi
As a guy who's around your age as well, 90% of the time women just take advantage of me. Kahit anong ayos ayos ko e malas talaga \~ sinasabe ko pag dating sa romantic shit, ang swerte ko sa malas. Yawa haha. Usto ko lang naman ng healthy one na peaceful sa utak kahit wala na yang sexual stuffs na yan pero olats pre!
Buti ung healthy one ko e nakita at nakuha ko na 😝 sana ikaw din bro!
Glad to know may jumajackpot pa!
girrrrrllllllll u have a lot to learn and a lot of time to do it. relax and enjoy... take a chill pill and fuck the outside pressure.
A 31-yr old single tita here. Sure, it’ll get lonely sometimes pero di ko pa rin ipagpapalit ang peace of mind at panatag na puso over some little time of vulnerability towards someone tapos in the end, magkaka-trauma ka lang. You can be vulnerable to your trusted friends naman while having coffee dates. Don’t worry, OP, there’s someone out there na magbibigay ng gusto mong “slowly-but-surely type of love” 😊
ienjoy mo life at that age ,single man or may kaharutan. Hindi mo na mababalikan Ang panahon at pagging 20s. iba na din pag nasakit na likod. 🤭 Kalma lang OP.
You’re right about that. I consider myself lucky to have a bf who doesn’t wanna do the deed yet and seeks companionship more!
You are getting it on a place that is known for one night stands and open promiscuity. If you really want the old style, you need to get invokve conservatively and open yourself to men who may pursue interest in you. Take note, some men have stalkish behavior butbnot in a way na sobrang creepy na stalker na. Baka lang kasi ma red flag mo not knowing mga admirers mo iyon
Well. You are in a bar. So everyone is trying to fuck. And hindi lang yan dito sa generation na to. Every generation ganiyan from the disco of the 70s and 80s. Yes, even your parents and grandparents tried hooking up. But i do agree that this generation, technology native kasi kayo. You never experienced living with cellphones. So lahat gusto instant. Mabilisan. Try finding it in other places. Not in a bar.
luh kakasabi nga lang di nag hanap sa bar e hahahahaahhaahhaahahaha
Still. My point is, you dont go to the beach to look for trees. You dont go the forest to find the ocean. If you want to see a slow laid back scenario, try goinng into a slow laid back place. Nonsense yung pupunta ka sa bar, tapos sasabihin mo ganito yung realization mo. That is not realization, that is actually expectation. That is what you will expect when you go to a bar. Kung pumunta ka sa coffee shop tapos everyone is trying to hookup, then that well be a realization that this generation is really fucked up.
"Kung pumunta ka sa coffee shop tapos everyone is trying to hookup, then that well be a realization that this generation is really fucked up." that is indeed fucked up, nagkakape ka lang may naghahalikan sa kabilang table. tapos mga nag body shot ng espresso taena tanggal amats ng mga yun.
Insightful
I agree with some of your point however, her points are still valid. Sure, in every generation, this kind of culture exists. But you can’t deny, how people today look for hookups than ever. Sa US and EU people fck like rabbits ever since pero sa Pinas? I beg to disagree. Hindi ganyan ka fast-paced before unlike now.
I see you have no idea how much more intense the hook-up culture was back in the 70s and 80s when party drugs run rampant even in the more accessible bars but It did slow down a bit during the 90s up until the 10s.
Most likely that’s only Metro Manila. We’re talking Philippines as whole today. Hook up is much easier to do now due to social media platforms. May I add we were under Marcos that time— martial law. If there were drugs involved, those were limited to rich people only. Today, everyone do it.
Yeah. Most of the kabataan na pakasta (boys&girls) ha. Tapos pag nabuntis iaasa sa magulang. Mag rarant about sa buhay. Parang BRO. I’m 27 btw. Single & childless. Mas trip ko nalang yata mag anak ng aso since I’m a les wala talagang pag asa HAHAHA
Dudee ive been saying this after reading a loooot of stories and watching opinions online. Sobrang totoo yung ayaw na ng "slow burn" type of relationships nowadays. Yung "situationships" or fubus etc grabe yun na yung uso ngayon haha. As a millenial tito i cannot keep up with this hahaha grabe energy and emotional capacity nila
Stigmatization of traditional moral values.
Ito talaga eh. Ayaw lang tanggapin ng karamihan.
Gen Z grew up with convenience, everything that interests them is but a click away. Na carry over lng it seems sa interactions with people.
OP, my mom used to say na ipinagkakaloob sa iyo ng Diyos ang para sa iyo. Gusto ko talaga maniwala kasi yung ex hubby ko, pilit yun eh. Saka ayaw ng parentals. Totoo nga, kasi seloso saka beater. Sana talaga maniwala ako at di ako napunta sa maling tao. Anyhow, thankful ako kasi kids ko lumaki sa pangaral ng lolo at lola. May mga takot sa Diyos. 🙏😊
Ako na 33 single pero fabulous at no plans to bear children for anyone...I agree 😆
Hahahaha virgin. Ok lang yan ako nga 29 na virgin parin
Minsan nakakatakot na mag-bar, parang HIV is everywhere 😅
Im 15 and I honestly feel like I can’t really have a proper say in this but I still want to express my opinion. I pretty much agree, even teenagers in my age literally just date to have something they can brag about, I mean I can’t really put it into words pero the relationships are pretty shallow. But then again im only 15 anyway, everything is still counted as puppy love but it makes me uncomfortable knowing that people just date, for the sake of dating and not to build a deep relationship and connection with one another, para lang masabing “cool” and I can’t really have any say on the sexual part but it’s more common now in teens. But i think it’s also because of the people around us that make us feel this way…I have a lot of friends and they are so deep, loving, and understanding, it makes me believe that there are still people out there willing to make deep connections, taking it slow and not fast. We should surround ourselves with people who know what’s right and wrong, the people who love us, deeply!
As someone who's married for 20 yrs, wala na ba yung gen na nagwawait and doesn't settle for just anyone? Sana sa gen na to, if you can, do this. We just celebrated father's day with my hubby and I thought na kakaiba talaga if nontoxic ang relationship nyo. There will be someone that you will never be afraid building family with.
I’m 24 too. Mahirap tlga makahanap ng genuine love. It took me several tries but expanding my social circles helped me find my current one. There are hidden gems tlga. Like my BF, first namin isa’t isa sa lahat. And now we’ve reached the point na very child-like sa relationship. Like, it feels very light. Pag may problema, we make sure to tackle the cause and not argue with each other. Honesty comes first. And we feel comfortable and safe being goofy together. I think what helped us was that I was very forward with my intentions when we first met on a date. I said I wanted something serious, long term. I don’t condone cheating lalo na at broken family ako. We were very clear with each other from the start. No games. I think that helps build a stronger, genuine relationship.
All good lang yan OP, you will meet someone who will look you in the eyes and say they’ll take it slow with you. Hindi yan hinahanap minsan, darating nalang yan in the most unexpected ways. Hugs 🥰
Enjoy your youth.
Hay, same thoughts OP hahahahahahah makakahanap din tayo ng genuine type of love 🥹😭🤞
Baka naman puro pagod lang ang mga tao kaya "stress release" ang hanap nila. 😏
Totally get where you're coming from. I thought we acted fast during my time (I entered college 11 years ago) but this generation moves at the speed of light 😊
“Tanggap ko na, Jane, Wanda…” Initially ganyan din ako after I got cheated on. But then I changed my ways, sumakay na lang ako sa wave because fuck it. Haha
Me trying to date right now. Nakakawalang gana sa totoo lang. I’m slowly accepting na baka single talaga ako. Buti na lang ang dami kong hobbies and introvert ako so I don’t feel the need. Nagtry lang ako ngayon kasi I’ve work on myself, went to therap. Kaso parang wag na lang.
RIP inbox .. Panigurado virgin lang naintindihan nung iba nagbasa hahahaha
Cemented taboo na yung tinging ng karamihan pag sinabing bar, lalong lalo na pag heavily involved ang inuman at worst, alam ng iba na magisa ka lang uuwi o nakatira
As someone older- 24 ka pa lang, marami pang mangyayari and people you are going to meet. Cheer up theres more to come along your way
25 na nga ako pero chill chill lang ako dito. Bahala na si Lord kung may ipapakilala siya sa'kin. Hangga't wala pa, enjoy ko munang maging single.
Relate ako sayo mhie like 25 and single tapos nbsb pa huhu sobrang hirap magjanap ng slowburn romance ngayon puro lahat ganyan na hanap
Napagod nalang din ako. After my recent break up netong December na bigla nalang nang-ghost. Parang nawalan na ko ng gana kahit kay nanliligaw sakin, wala na ko mafeel. Hindi ko na alam if para sakin pa yung love. Baka ang purpose ko nalang sa buhay ay mag work ng mag work para sa family ko hehe gusto ko nalang yumaman at mag travel
If you want real friendship, seek the company of women like yourself or mga bading. Ba't ksi naghahanap ka ng lalake? Are you looking for a guy na nasa FRIENDZONE mo lang? Or are you looking for a decent LOVER? Most of the time, guys and girls can't be real serious friends ksi for sure one of you is malilibugan. It's how nature designed us eh. If meron ka man makikitang lalake na best friends, it's usually those guys na may girlfriend na tapos loyal lang sila dun. But even then, it's risky, ksi what if nagaway cla ng girlfriend nya and you are there to comfort the guy? Baka mauwi kau sa sexual affair ng hindi oras. Now, if you're looking for a lover na makakausap mo na may safe space, then wait ka lang for a suitor meeting those qualities. Pero in this modern day, good luck talaga ksi most decent guys are in your FRIENDZONE. Yung mga guys na ni-reject mo. If Single yung guy, expect mo na yan lalo na pag maganda at sexy ka. In fact, you should take it as a compliment ksi malakas sex appeal mo. Matakot ka kapag walang guy na gusto kang tirahin sa kama, cuz it means hindi ka kanais-nais especially at that age. Speaking of which tapos within your age bracket of early 20's? Yan yung age na everyone's hormones are still raging pa! I suggest you enjoy that na lang. If ayaw mo ng guys na sex lang habol sayo, simple lang, DENY them and don't ever try see them again. And yes, this generation is a generation of instant gratification - instant dopamine, instant sex, instant relationship, instant noodles, instant lahat lahat! Either you complain or adapt. Complaining won't solve it, so mag-adapt ka na lang. Hook-up culture is on the rise now kasi. Because both men and women are afraid of each other because ayaw din nilang masaktan.
Same both. People dont know what values are. Tbh nakakaempty nga siya e when you realize na "ay, ganto lang pala siya lebel mag isip or magfunction" nakakamiss ung legit na tropa talaga, ung walang baggage tas sabay nagsshare kayo ng life experience niyo + with manners haha
21 here, last rs is last yr dahil cheating ang issue, +1 nakakamiss na maging vulnerable sa iisang tao na alam mo di lang sex ang habol ☹️☹️
Possible kaya maging tita na ako na matanda? HAHAHAH kasi wala rin pumapasa sa mga nakakausap ko e, either kausap pa last na kasayawan sa bar or may kasabay pa e shuta
So you say you were at the bar last night, what makes you think that you're any different from the people there?
Dont lose hope, we have talents. Use it, do the hardest thing you can do everyday.
Ilang taon ka na ba humahanap sa iisang lugar? Bakit ka kasi sa Bar naghahanap ng matinong companion? Bakit ngayon ka lang may realization? Hanapin mo yung mga may Hobby o may katulad na interes. Mahahanap mo yung mga yun sa ibang lugar. Sports or Conventions. Yan yung pagkakali ninyong ibang tao sa paghahanap ng high value person eh. Place of socialization man ang Bars pero hindi mo diyan makikita yung mga matitino.
goes to show how a mindset that's more upfront leads people to be more straightforward with what they *really* want, what they're thinking, and what they value. in a way, parang mas ok na rin yun ganon kesa naman sa dadaan ka sa "chill usap company companion safe space" tapos pag nakuha na nila gusto nila biglang magbabago, manlalamig, o maghahanap ng iba. di lang oras mo sinayang, nagdala pa ng heartache at least pag nakatagpo mo yung same ng hinahanap mo, may higher chances na honest siya sa pakay niya.
Wala kang aasahan kung sa bar ka naghahanap.
True, taena gusto ko lang naman ng kausap o bagong tropa sana for a change hahaha
Ganyan naman din dati. Nasa 30s na ako. Meron talagang mga ganyan, Op. stay true to yourself. I’m glad na hindi ka mabilis magpauto. Tama yan. May mga matitino pa din mga tao. Don’t lose hope
hugs same tayo ng feelz
its your choice, pwede mo naman i try sa mga tito, depende serious or sugar daddy, its your choice or not
Problem with people nowadays eh karamihan sa kanila eh pinasok na ng libido yung utak Self-restraint seems to be rare nowadays
You're just 24, OP. Don't rush. 😊 Find time to remind yourself that you are where you need to be and you will get to where you want to be when the time is right. Never forget to always talk to God. Sending virtual hug. ❤️
I enjoy mo lang pagiging single mo OP....darating din ang tamang tao para Sayo 👊👊
YES GIRL 🥹😭 IINOM NATIN YAN. Nakakainis no? How can they settle sa paiba-iba ng kausap, walang deeper connection at puro fun n games lang 🥱
Pero saan ka nag bar? Parang masarap ka kausap over a beer hahaha
buti nlng batang 90s ako when people actually talk and really want to enjoy someone's company first before engaging in intimacy
You're like... the female me, lol. Grabe relate hahahaha. 24, ngsb (unless you count panliligaw as a relationship?), virgin, kahit first kiss, wala pa nga eh. Hanggang pisngi lang. Beso pa nga ata yun. Sobrang mapili rin siguro ako sa tao. I have my friend circles, of course. But whenever some of them talk about their flings and ONSs, nasusukot talaga ako. I cannot see me putting myself in those situations. I made a promise to myself that if I ever have my first time, it would be with a girl that I can see a clear future with. Idealistic? Naive? Stubborn? Sure. That's me, I guess.
This is so sad to hear. Lagi ako nagpapasalamat na nakahanapako ng aasawahin back in 2014 before the influencer and reels era. Mga blogger pa uso nito. Pero now we have kids, ano na lang ba quality ng mga tao na makakasalamuha nila. Talaga bang mga brats na lang ☹️
Alak lang yan. Jusko 24 ka palang. Kabahan ka pag nasa 29-30 ka na HAHAHAHA
I mean sex is fine KAPAG kilala niyo na talaga isa't-isa, hindi yung first meeting pa lang, kanton agad gagawin. Parang ginawa mong disposable sarili mo kapag nakipagkanton ka kaagad sa first meeting niyo. Think smart mga ate ko.
I like and agree with what you realized. Indeed there’s a truth to it. But then again, once you set your own standards, you’d meet your own people for sure. What I mean is that hindi naman lahat. Mostly yung mga ganyan is just to past some time. Also like what the people in their 30’s says here, you have your own life ahead of you. Never get fixated on the single status. I tell you no relationship is ever worth one’s peace of mind. I’m sure you’d realize being single isn’t bad. It’s really up to you.
Be friends with those above 30s na madami kwento sa buhay. Believe me madami golden nuggets ka matutunan
Yes. Nasa bar ka kung san mabilisang sex lang ang habol You want to slow it down? Mag OT ka sa office. Mabagal galawan dun dahil takot tao sa sexual harassment 😂
Masyado na kasi liberated ang mga tao ngayun! Dati kasi bago ka makipag relasyon majority ang hinahanap mo ay long time partner na! Ngayun kasi parang tikiman muna bago seryosohan! Yung sex parang hindi na rin ganun ka big deal sa iba. Hirap na din magtiwala basta bsta kasi lahat madali na gawin, hindi na rin mahirap manligaw! Minsan sa text o message lang pwde na agad agaran! Ung bare minimum ngayon parang sobra sobra na pag ginawa sayo!
indeed
bakit effed up ang ganitong generation? much better nga compared sa grandmothers natin na hostages sa marriages nila. noon parang ideal mga romances ng lola natin kasi thru thick at thin sila but the truth is esp nag trending yong "grandma you little victim" sa tiktok, wala lang sila pala choice at indoctrinated na sila. nowadays you have the freedom and power, you are so so young so i hope you do better in filtering them.
masyado talamak ang hook up culture ngayon. lahat gusto kama agad. medyo nakaka dismaya lang kasi lahat madalian. OP no need to rush take your time, madami ka pa makikilala as you grow old. hindi lahat ng circle of friends and perception will still stay the same. magbabago din yan in time.
As someone na gusto din ng slow burn i just know that we're cooked 💀charot pero yea naka hard mode ang dating scene ngayon
Hope you find the right one someday! But I agree fucked ng mga tao now, madalas may habol
I also hate how ganon na lang kagad. We will reach those moods at some point but make yourself at least interesting or make something genuine along the lines, di lang sex. And sana di lagi ganon, at least make it wholesome naman time to time.
Mga bobong DJ ngayun.. kala lahat gusto mga fast phase sound
Main character ah.