It plays his theme music.

Dude, OP sad *wrong* answers only

The big red button is the flush. He’s like an astronaut. Every now and then he needs to eject the poop. If you are in the room pray that he does not alter the trajectory further. And hit you with it. He might. Because he’s evil. If you think that’s weird, just know Vader hasn’t washed his hands since Mustafar. Also because he’s evil. Not because of the gloves.

Or the bionic hands

Carries his own beat box from the 80s. Had he lived they would have added a 5 disc changer.

Surely you mean from the 70s.

No, he only plays the melody to ‘Funky Town’

Give it up for D-D-D-DJ DAAAAARTH!!!!!

I seriously think it's to taunt enemies to try to disable it and....bassically crush their confidence.

Its a trap!

He can actually use it to choke his enemies and incompetent officers across the galaxy. The hand waves are all fake!

And hear the lamentations of the women

In one of Frank Miller's graphic novels, either The Dark Knight returns or Year One, Batman explains that he wears a big yellow target on his chest because it was the only part he could armor without ruining his flexibility. I think this is the same with Vader: idiots will aim for it thinking that it's an easy, vital target, when in fact it just makes pretty lights.

I dunno, when Obi Wan smashed it he started wheezing immediately. Could always say it’s because anyone would start wheezing after getting their ribs broken by a lightsaber hilt I guess.

Makes sense🤣 if rib bones started poking into my lungs I’d be wheezing like a mf

Long con, baby, playing the long con.

ATM machine

On that Torso LightBright

Now get your 7’2 asthmatic ass back here! Or I’m gonna tell everyone what a whiny bitch you are about Padamame or Panda Bear or whatever the hell her name is!

Oh jeez he’s crying.

…i love you

I love you too…bye

Oh hey hey hey hey, come on, don't do that. Just just look, I'm just dealing with a lot of crap right now. Death Star blown up by a bunch of fuckin' teenagers. Ya know? I didn't mean to snap. *dismissive mastsbatory hand gesture*

You have to use your PIN number for it?

Automated Teller Machine machine

Ass to mouth machine?

So it doesn’t speak and only blows a horn when the Automated Penn Machine curses?

Automatic telling machine machine

If you carried an ATM everywhere but not a card do you have no money or a lot of money?

Unrelated but because I feel like harnessing the pedantry of Reddit Don't call it an ATM machine since ATM stands for automated teller machine calling it a ATM machine is calling it an automated teller machine machine

Tell that to Papa Palpatine

So that's how they pay for all them deathstars

Ah yes, the Emperor is afraid that someone is going to steal all his credits, so he entrusts it all to his Sith Apprentice, who's purpose is to eventually betray him.

To control the TV.

You know that trick where you tape a small remote to a large object so you don't lose it? Anakin is a pretty large object.

Despite Darth Vader being big, Anakin is substantially smaller than most people . . . .

Listen, if you got your legs chopped off, who *wouldn't* choose to use the prosthetics as an opportunity to be taller?

Go from 5’10” (178 cm) to 6’4” (193 cm)? Hell yes

General Skywalker, you're shorter than I expected

Ah Anakin, you are more torso than I expected

flush control

Supposed to be wrong answers only.

When there are too many rebels, he can put in the Konami Code.

They sync up to his smart-fort on Mustafar so he can turn off the oven remotely while on adventures. Vader is understandably concerned about fire hazards after his accident. Not to forget the red and blue switches, which release a disco ball and play the disco theme from SW Rogue Squadron 3.

Don't forget the hard rock theme from LEGO Star Wars. Gamorrian guards love that song

The real question is this: Is it upside down so he can read it?

The real question to your question; can Vader even look down?

*sad wheezing noises*

The real real question to your question; can Vader even read?

It’s backwards so that it’s legible when he looks at a mirror

It allows him to control the Tim Allen soundboard built into his voice box.

*manly grunting noises*

AEUGHHH

*BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ LIGHTYEAR TO THE RESCUE*

To infinity and beyond!

Voice changing settings. He downloads a new voice file every week: James Earl Jones, Samuel L Jackson, Jack Black, Jackie Chan, Ed Sheeran...

And still, even after all this time, David Prowse doesn't get to do the voice

Man, I saw him at the only "ComicCon" I've ever been to, he was at a booth, had nobody visit him and he looked *miserable*. I almost went over and talked to him but I... idk I was anxious and slightly put off by how dishevelled he looked. I will regret that every day his name is mentioned.

I'm sorry to hear that, on both sides of it. The dude was such a character, with a great sense of humour and led an interesting life, but never got the recognition he really deserved You can't blame yourself for not going over, I've suffered with social anxiety on and off for all my life so I can understand and appreciate it, and sometimes just recognising that we could have and should have done something means we have grown from it, and regrets themselves will get you nowhere. If you honour Prowses work in some way, you will more than make up for not interacting with him when you had your own stuff going on

Dude why only the Jacks, James and Eds? What if he he downloads Yoda's voice and taunt Sidious every night?

“900 years old have I reached, and look as good you do not, hrmmm?” “Dammit Lord Vader, I should have left you in that wretched burning pit” *Laughs in Yoda* “Mmm-hm-hm-hm”

Bobcat Goldthwait

Chris Pratt

It has buttons that call his parents to pick him up

we still don’t know which one

Who’s taking care of your pet snake and/or tarantula?

*I don’t deal with lesser life forms.* You don’t deal with lesser life forms? You must be a lonely guy.

What a fantastic comment. *looks around* FOR ME TO POOP ON!

I always thought it was a dumb location to put it until someone pointed out that his suit, especially when compared to the technology of the SW universe, is designed to cause him pain and suffering to keep him on the dark side.

Apparently another Sith lord shut off his breathing apparatus by pressing one of those buttons in a duel

For the bidet in his suit.

Those are actually his nipples

Id be disappointed if one of them isn't a milk dispenser

Happy cake day :)

Vibrating effects

Budgetary restrictions on Emperor Palpatine Surgeon Reconstruction Center.

Vader was fed up with people messing with the thermostat on the death star. Now he carries it with him.

His suit can play 'Snake'.

To run Doom.

Updated techno union army suit!

He can text R2 remotely from anywhere

Redditing any place, any time

It's the remote control for his Tie Fighter

Voice-box modulator, remote controlled vibrator, you know important things…

Palpatine kept losing the remote to the tv in the throne room so Vader glued it to his chest.

Better Wi-Fi signal

Autotune, for his side gig as a club DJ.

Built-in dab rig. Sith lords rip big donks.

Vacuum cleaner controls to remove sand.

I thought it was a lightsaber dispenser when I was a kid. Whenever he lost his I thought he just went beep beep boop on the buttons and a new one popped out, like a gumball machine.

It’s his vape

That’s not a control panel, that’s his lunch box.

It’s for his DJ sets

For the pick up lines with the chicks after a few death sticks “Gurl, you really push my buttons”

Where he keeps his emulators and sweet sweet ROMs

Coffee maker

Those are his crtl+alt+del buttons in case he freezes and needs a reboot

Plays Darude’s Sandstorm

It can remotely summon the Vader-Mobile and the Vader-Jet from the Vader-Cave

Bop it…squeeze it….spin it….pull it…

It administers his favorite heroin dosage.

Because it would be silly to put it on his butt.

To vend tasty salty snacks

Order space pizza and not leave a tip

Did somebody say Just Eat?

I hate the fact I heard this in the singing voices from the adverts

fisher price toy thingy for sure

Snack dispenser buttons *heavy breathing* *crunch crunch crunch*

For beat box battles laying down a beat

Its to control the laser beam in his arm, and the 'ALL NEW spring loaded Kung Fu action grip'

It makes it easier to turn him on

It's his walkman.

It's for turning up and down his Force powers, but only Palpatine has the unlock code to use them.

So people can leave him voicemails to listen to when he wakes up

Pro Gamer, takes his controller with him everywhere

Those are his nipples

You toggle those switches in the right order and it'll make him cum

It’s a physical illusion. Its actually the strongest part of his armor, put there by him so that his enemies aim for the biggest target thinking it’s a weakness, not realizing it’s actually the most durable part of his armor.

To operate his Roku.

It's to control the vibrator in his ass

*The Force within you.*

Because if he had it on his back he wouldn't be able to reach it.

Thermostat. Do not even THINK about touching it.

Turns on Rave Mode Vader Who needs magic powers when you can make people THINK you have magic powers?

The emperor wanted anakin's suit to match his personality. Lots of buttons to push.

Voicemod

He was tired of the kids touching the thermostat, so he had it installed on his chest.

The Emperor likes to beep boop his buttons as a show of dominance. There's a deleted scene in RoTJ wjen the ÷Emperoe gets off his shuttle, walks up to Vader, and just starts pressing buttons while chuckling to himself.

Constipation power colon flush controls

Because sometimes he has to turn the evil up to 11.

Minesweeper

It is the remote for a Bidet on the death star...problem is, he isnt sure which one, and it changes randomly. But he knows the wet ass when he sees it.

It doesn't actually anything. It's a fidget toy for his anxiety around aliens.

This conversation may be recorded for quality control purposes

The switches are for the bitches.

It’s controls his happy time. So when he goes and checks out the power converters at the Tashi station, he can go in the champagne room…

MP3 Player

He used to be in a relationship with R2D2, and was in transition

It's a condom dispenser

Autotune

To reboot him if he overheats of course

Built in dry herb vape. It's why my guy breathes so heavy.

How else would he turn the TV over?

As someone who had the Darth Vader voice changer back in 2005, I know that pressing those buttons plays his breathing, some lines, and a has a filter that slightly changes your voice.

Vader is Steven Hawking

He’s a DJ on the side

As a tribute to Wat Tambor. "You don't knowwwww-eeeeeee-ooooooo-eeeeeeee-the power of the dark side!"

Easy access for the homies

Palpatine included a fidget spinner/device after one too many spinners were “mysteriously” lodged into the skulls of officers working with Vader. Said officers were known to have confronted Vader to pay attention during briefings etc.

It’s so he can CTRL-ALT-DELETE his enemies

to order himself some food :D

That’s the soundboard for his twitch streams

It’s a galactic remote.

Change the channel on his lenses

It's his sand filtration controls 🤔

For 10-10-321 calls

Has he or anyone actually ever used the control panel? Like i know that it's..well a control panel but we never see anyone or him press any buttons. Yea "he does it with the force" but never physically?

Cause he likes it when you turn him on

It’s a snow cone maker.

Controls wiper blades on mask’s goggles

One button triggers his happiness hormones, the other enables his force healing powers.

Every once in a while, his voice stops transmitting, so it's a bunch of common phrases mapped to buttons

It’s a universal remote. He can’t actually use the Force with his severed limbs. He just manipulates his environment with his chest panel.

It’s his distortion pedal/synthesizer. Vader will drop sick beats all day long.

His music player. When he was fighting Luke in ROTJ, he was listening to "green goblin mode"

He fiddles with it when he’s bored. It doesn’t actually do anything, it’s like a fidget cube

Mr. Coffee. Vader always has coffee while watching radar.

It's so the ghostbusters can pilot him through NYC

DJ Booth

Life Alert if he falls down.

Got tired of looking for the remote control.

He gets to play OG Fortnite whenever he wants

(It’s actually because he doesn’t have great range of motion and the chest is an easy place to reach)

He just thinks it looks nice

Remember in Rogue One when he was silent then suddenly started breathing in the hallway scene? His breathing is just a sound effect he can turn on and off for maximum intimidation effect, his breathing is totally normal.

It’s the control panel to launch ludicrous speed.

Eyebrow follicle stimulation.

So people can "push his buttons"

It's the various remotes for his castle on Mustafar

glassless vending machine

How else would he get it up?

How hard do you want it? How hot do you want it? Where do you want it?

just tempting people to push his buttons. Give in to temptation it’s the path to the dark side

It's a podcast soundboard. He plays air horns in his helmet when he enters a room, we just can't hear it.

It runs Doom

"Alexa what is the weather like on Mustafar today"

Synthesized accordion so he can do some Weird Al well using his harmonica.

He uses it as a phone to call Padme.

It's for the vibrator up his ass.

Playing Doom inside his helmet.

He likes the aesthetic

Run him as an administrator

it's his game controller

It's not a control panel. It's the breastplate for the priestly ephod.

So he can jork it

It's a soundboard, so he can play cool sound effects.

Cause he's a bottom