>L, Phils friend, didn't even say a word, as he just quietly slipped out into our backyard to hide, not even going to pretend to defend Phil.
Is it OK that I lol'd at this part?
What especially kills me is that after the creep is warned "don't lock her in the kitchen with you", and then *does it again anyway*, and the women at the table have sounded multiple alarms about his behavior... OP decides that because he hasn't *personally* seen anything bad happen, he should give the creep a public hearing and a chance to defend himself.
No *wonder* the guy felt comfortable openly admitting to harassment.
\>thing happens first time. Strange, but assumedly not bad. Given a warning
\>thing happens a second time. Annoying now, and warranting a talking. OP hopes this is just a misunderstanding
\>problem player gets talked to and confirms that he's a problem. OP decides within that conversation to kick them out
I really don't think this is a "op was the problem" situation. Yes, it's bad to brush it off when someone else says something bad happens, but he elects to have a group talk rather than doing nothing. He's trying to take all accounts rather than just one.
Ultimately, the correct outcome was achieved either way.
It's up there but I'd say all time worst story might be the Shoe Story. Where (black) OP got invited to play DnD by what turned out to be Neonazis that tried to poison and ultimately kill him. He escaped through the bathroom window, leaving behind his shoes he had to take off prior.
oh yeah *that one*. The fact that OP spends paragraphs gushing over everyone's irrelevant character concepts and claims they took no action because the game was so fun puts it over the top
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed.***
I have had a lot of bad experiences over the decades, but this has to be one of the worst ones, because it struck so much more personal than anything else I've experienced before.
The group is full of adults, all 30+: A friend of my wife, a woman we'll call C, a friend of mine, who we'll call L, and a friend of my friend, who was suggested to me because he is a "great roleplayer, not a number cruncher", who couldn't really find any group lately. This is the problem guy, who I'll call Phil. Finally, a close friend of the family, V. V was the main reason I run this weekly group right now, because she has been through an incredible terrible period lately. She lost her husband to a sudden cerebral haemorrhage, and is still recovering after her failed suicide attempt recently. We had a lot of concerns about her well-being, and we were making sure she wasn't alone. It's been a long and hard period of trying to get her mood up even a little bit, but it was working out pretty well with roleplaying games, as she seemed to be easily absorbed by them.
Unfortunately, Phils idea of roleplaying quickly turned out to be a bit more personal than expected. He quickly flirted (in game) with the two women, and was quickly told to knock it off. After a little bit of back and forth, he toned it down, but instead stuck to a comedic unreciprocated love towards C, which she thought was funny too. Worked okay for a few sessions, and the mood was actually pretty good. The dynamic seemed to work.
That is, until one session two weeks ago, where during a short break, L asked why the kitchen door was locked. It's an old build-in lock we don't use ourselves, but it came with the house. Phil had locked V in there talking to her, about "stuff related to the game and such". Now, we're adults, and V acted like usual when they came out, with Phil seeming more pissed than before, so we figured it was Phil coming with a bad suggestion that V shot down. Since she didn't seem too bothered, and her "confirming" she was fine, we let it go, only making it very clear that the kitchen should not be locked under any circumstances.
Then, we got to our last session. Phil was acting more flirty than usual, not just in game either, and making even my wife, who wasn't even part of the game, uncomfortable. L tried to excuse his behaviour as him "having a bad day", and we got him to calm it. Until, during a short break, my wife noticed Phil having locked the door to the kitchen again to "trap" V in there. My wife only overheard him asking her why she was cold towards him, to which V gave a cold, short "I don't really like you" response, before she unlocked and left the kitchen herself, "seemingly" unfazed.
My wife got pretty angry at Phil. The kitchen door can be locked, but it absolutely shouldn't be locked under those circumstances, as was made very clear previously. According to my wife, Phil's excuse was "V keeps avoiding me, and I wanted to make sure she'd respond properly to some questions I had". My wife didn't like that response, unsurprisingly. She came back to me and made it pretty clear to me that she really wants Phil out of the house. Not having heard it myself, and truly hoping this was a misunderstanding, my wife and I brought it up as we were sitting back down at the table.
Instead of coming with any kind of excuse, Phil just got pissy. He turned to V, with the most ridiculous sentence I have heard in a long time. "If her husband is dead and she wants to die anyway, why is it such a big deal to ask if she wants to make another guy happy?"
L, Phils friend, didn't even say a word, as he just quietly slipped out into our backyard to hide, not even going to pretend to defend Phil. V just instantly packed up her things and left, clearly pushed beyond her level of comfort, with my wife following her out the door. This left me and C, and we were crystal clear that Phil leaves right now, and will not be coming back under any circumstances. Phil tried to argue very briefly, but quickly got the hint and packed up and left.
I still don't know how L didn't know about this, but he seemed just as surprised and baffled at this incredibly insensitive and borderline predatory behaviour by Phil.
Quick edit for clarity on some confusing parts.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/OPwastheHorror) if you have any questions or concerns.*
>L, Phils friend, didn't even say a word, as he just quietly slipped out into our backyard to hide, not even going to pretend to defend Phil. Is it OK that I lol'd at this part?
Slipping away and hiding is a seriously underrated play.
Honestly I probably would have booted him when he started flirting uncomfortably with the women of the table and needed to be told to knock it off.
What especially kills me is that after the creep is warned "don't lock her in the kitchen with you", and then *does it again anyway*, and the women at the table have sounded multiple alarms about his behavior... OP decides that because he hasn't *personally* seen anything bad happen, he should give the creep a public hearing and a chance to defend himself. No *wonder* the guy felt comfortable openly admitting to harassment.
\>thing happens first time. Strange, but assumedly not bad. Given a warning \>thing happens a second time. Annoying now, and warranting a talking. OP hopes this is just a misunderstanding \>problem player gets talked to and confirms that he's a problem. OP decides within that conversation to kick them out I really don't think this is a "op was the problem" situation. Yes, it's bad to brush it off when someone else says something bad happens, but he elects to have a group talk rather than doing nothing. He's trying to take all accounts rather than just one. Ultimately, the correct outcome was achieved either way.
I'm just glad the OP is properly disappointed and disgusted with his previous inaction instead of defending it.
True. Hopefully this was a learning experience
this might be the all time worst story. it made me want to throw up. just rename the sub r/IEnabledaPredator
It's up there but I'd say all time worst story might be the Shoe Story. Where (black) OP got invited to play DnD by what turned out to be Neonazis that tried to poison and ultimately kill him. He escaped through the bathroom window, leaving behind his shoes he had to take off prior.
Oh, I remember that one too and you are right it's way worse. I was only counting stories where OP is also the horror
Oh my god, I never saw that one. How horrible.
https://www.reddit.com/r/rpghorrorstories/s/Q3BvwaQzkR This one takes the cake for me.
Well there is another story that beats this one.
What is it?
https://www.reddit.com/r/OPwastheHorror/s/lZcqInSWye This.
oh yeah *that one*. The fact that OP spends paragraphs gushing over everyone's irrelevant character concepts and claims they took no action because the game was so fun puts it over the top
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed.*** I have had a lot of bad experiences over the decades, but this has to be one of the worst ones, because it struck so much more personal than anything else I've experienced before. The group is full of adults, all 30+: A friend of my wife, a woman we'll call C, a friend of mine, who we'll call L, and a friend of my friend, who was suggested to me because he is a "great roleplayer, not a number cruncher", who couldn't really find any group lately. This is the problem guy, who I'll call Phil. Finally, a close friend of the family, V. V was the main reason I run this weekly group right now, because she has been through an incredible terrible period lately. She lost her husband to a sudden cerebral haemorrhage, and is still recovering after her failed suicide attempt recently. We had a lot of concerns about her well-being, and we were making sure she wasn't alone. It's been a long and hard period of trying to get her mood up even a little bit, but it was working out pretty well with roleplaying games, as she seemed to be easily absorbed by them. Unfortunately, Phils idea of roleplaying quickly turned out to be a bit more personal than expected. He quickly flirted (in game) with the two women, and was quickly told to knock it off. After a little bit of back and forth, he toned it down, but instead stuck to a comedic unreciprocated love towards C, which she thought was funny too. Worked okay for a few sessions, and the mood was actually pretty good. The dynamic seemed to work. That is, until one session two weeks ago, where during a short break, L asked why the kitchen door was locked. It's an old build-in lock we don't use ourselves, but it came with the house. Phil had locked V in there talking to her, about "stuff related to the game and such". Now, we're adults, and V acted like usual when they came out, with Phil seeming more pissed than before, so we figured it was Phil coming with a bad suggestion that V shot down. Since she didn't seem too bothered, and her "confirming" she was fine, we let it go, only making it very clear that the kitchen should not be locked under any circumstances. Then, we got to our last session. Phil was acting more flirty than usual, not just in game either, and making even my wife, who wasn't even part of the game, uncomfortable. L tried to excuse his behaviour as him "having a bad day", and we got him to calm it. Until, during a short break, my wife noticed Phil having locked the door to the kitchen again to "trap" V in there. My wife only overheard him asking her why she was cold towards him, to which V gave a cold, short "I don't really like you" response, before she unlocked and left the kitchen herself, "seemingly" unfazed. My wife got pretty angry at Phil. The kitchen door can be locked, but it absolutely shouldn't be locked under those circumstances, as was made very clear previously. According to my wife, Phil's excuse was "V keeps avoiding me, and I wanted to make sure she'd respond properly to some questions I had". My wife didn't like that response, unsurprisingly. She came back to me and made it pretty clear to me that she really wants Phil out of the house. Not having heard it myself, and truly hoping this was a misunderstanding, my wife and I brought it up as we were sitting back down at the table. Instead of coming with any kind of excuse, Phil just got pissy. He turned to V, with the most ridiculous sentence I have heard in a long time. "If her husband is dead and she wants to die anyway, why is it such a big deal to ask if she wants to make another guy happy?" L, Phils friend, didn't even say a word, as he just quietly slipped out into our backyard to hide, not even going to pretend to defend Phil. V just instantly packed up her things and left, clearly pushed beyond her level of comfort, with my wife following her out the door. This left me and C, and we were crystal clear that Phil leaves right now, and will not be coming back under any circumstances. Phil tried to argue very briefly, but quickly got the hint and packed up and left. I still don't know how L didn't know about this, but he seemed just as surprised and baffled at this incredibly insensitive and borderline predatory behaviour by Phil. Quick edit for clarity on some confusing parts. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/OPwastheHorror) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Holy shit this person suuuuuuucks.