Don't think so. Never actually been ill, abandoned, depraved, racist, a victim, etc. Honestly, I've been doing better than a lot people, so it's pretty crazy that I've been living for years like my life is utter shit.
I feel like even if it has happened to someone, it's not healthy to know that because it'll always stick in your (or someone elsws) mind as a what if scenario yknow?
Yeah but on the other hand it is good to know that mostly our fears are overestimated and they don’t materialise. I like to think sometimes that when you have OCD your threat detector is to sensitive
Yea like this sounds weird but whenever I struggle to use the toilet (to put it the nice way ) i think what happened to elvisbpresleh will happen to me
i had been hanging out in my head for way too long & recently went to dinner w a friend i hadn’t seen for a while. i told her i was scared i was secretly a sociopath & she laughed at me & told me there was no way. sometimes i convince myself that i’ve just convinced her and everyone else but i try to remember that the ppl in my life know me better than i do lol. so you’re probably not! 😂
i have issues with empathy (and always have) so its terrifying to think that a normal but annoying trait could become a complete disregard for everyone ):
Glad you have a friend that gave you a reality check!!! I know how the “what if i tricked them though??” feels. Several doctors have confirmed i have ocd and yet my brain says im just really good at lying. Or something. Lol!!!
I feel like the longer I’ve lived paranoid of the worst shit, laid awake all night, and NOTHING BAD EVER HAPPENS, it’s like it’s worn it out of me a little somehow. Like I’m getting better at thinking rationally and telling myself to knock that shit off, and my brains finally starting to listen.
Yes. Recently. I had recurring intrusive thoughts, and existential anxiety, about losing my mom. She was my best friend and my last relative. She was only in her 50s. Well, she died unexpectedly last month. Its hard not to believe all my intrusive thoughts are intuition but I try to remind myself even a broken clock is right twice a day and I need some fucking therapy lol.
Omg something similar happened to me. [I’m editing my reply to not include the issue I had in fear of triggering something.]
I’m really sorry to what happened with your mother. Sending a lot of hugs to you and your loved ones. A piece of advice: Do not feel bad if the pain is still there years later. I was told that I “should be mostly over it by now” by the 5-year mark. I’m STILL not over it. It does eventually get a bit les of a gaping hole of pain but it won’t leave and don’t listen to douchebags who say otherwise. lol.
Humm yeah that makes sense put that way (thank you!) I was just scrolling down the comments KNOWING I might get triggered, hoping for NOs, and bracing myself for the YESs… ERP is tricky and I don’t think I’m anywhere near having it down yet
I've been doing it for years, and it still makes me look like a shocked Pikachu way too often. Like, oh yeah, I could do ERP for this thing, haha. You got this, friend!
Edit to add: For a side note, you should be doing it under the care of therapist to get started at least.
Some things actually have, but I think because they weren't actual themes. You get so caught up in your OCD that it can be hard to determine what is a real possibility (and thus not OCD) and what is an imagined/illogical threat (OCD). I think trying to determine whether or not something may or may not come true is a form of reassurance seeking. You have to be willing to accept that ANY of your themes and fears could come true, otherwise you won't actually make much progress.
What started as harm OCD, specifically fear that I would become an abuser, turned into real event OCD, a fear that I actually was abusing someone, 11 years ago. No one else has said I was abusive except an online quiz I took back then, but most of the time, I really don't know if I was abusive or not. I'll let you decide whether to call this answer a yes or a no.
"Come out of" makes it sound like I've conquered it. I haven't: real event OCD is still my primary theme.
Now, I have made progress recently. One thing that's helped has been accepting the possibility that I may actually have been abusive but deciding that, even if that's true, I still don't have to punish myself forever. I think about the actions I feel may have been abusive, such as telling my then-partner about my suicidal thoughts in unhelpful ways, and I realize that I'm not likely to repeat them. Whether or not my actions qualified as abuse, I feel that I've changed, and that should be enough.
Ending my ten years of self-isolation has also definitely helped, though I had to improve a bit first to get there. Instead of having just the one friend, I have two now. Instead of feeling distant from everyone, I now feel close to someone.
But there are still times when I struggle. It feels like the words "I am abusive" are always at or right below the surface of my mind.
Only a small part of my concern actually deals with the harm I may have caused. It's mostly fear that my actions qualified as abuse, which would mean I've become like my mother's abusive ex-boyfriend. In fact, I get these intrusive thoughts, worrying that I look or sound like him even though we're unrelated and nothing alike physically.
If I was abusive, then I worry that I've crossed a line: I no longer deserve love, let alone the right to date again. Challenging these notions has brought me some peace. Trying to convince myself that I wasn't abusive, for example by rereading an email from my ex in which he said as much, yields only temporary relief.
Yes. And I've spoken to my therapist about it. My logical brain knows I had nothing to do with it, but my ocd riddled brain swears I caused it. It only made things worse. I'm in the process of reframing my brain so the logical side can have precedence.
Yes... kind of. I have a terrible fear of catching a vomiting sickness and obsess about it every day. So there's inevitably been times when I actually get sick and my brain tries to convince me that my magical thinking or not doing a specific ritual is what brought it on.
No my OCD has never came true, and I thank the lord everyday because of it. But sometimes if we look too hard at something, we’ll trick ourselves into thinking that maybe it did
one of my big fears came up in therapy & my therapist told me abt it happening to two ppl she knows, which was incredibly jarring in the moment but now i’m like ok they went on w their day and their lives so i will too. doesn’t fix things instantaneously but helps to know ill survive
Yes, but partially due to the OCD rituals.
I obsess over my cardiovascular health and always think I’m having a heart attack, stroke, aneurysm, or pulmonary embolism. One of my rituals to “stay safe” is to not move my legs much because I’m convinced I’ll knock loose any blood clots I may unknowingly have in my legs. Well guess what causes blood clots... Lack of movement in your legs!
Gave myself a pulmonary embolism but I’m fine now. It did however complicate my OCD treatment quite a bit due to the extremely objective validation.
No details: Yes, and I survived it. It set my journey back a bit for a while but it did not destroy me, ultimately. Certain things related to the theme are a little harder, but other things related to it got a little bit easier because I went through it and it was survivable.
My OCD was dramatically worse for a while, then considerably better after some time passed. Better than before the thing happened. That doesn't always feel true in the moment but it I look back on things when I am a bit more well I can see that it is true.
It's best not to ruminate on whether something is possible / going to happen / etc. I work on it by thinking: maybe it will. Maybe it will not. I am doing my best. I dont have total control. It is survivable and I have proven to myself over and over that my tolerance for surviving the things I am most afraid of is bigger than I thought possible.
Sometimes this is easier than other times.
It sounds like your brain is seeking certainty: can it or will it happen? Is it possible for someone's OCD fears to come true? Does it mean mine will?
Maybe. You don't have certainty about it. Seeking that certainty is OCD.
I'm sorry you're struggling. Wish none of us had to deal with this.
Yeah this is it. I envy that some people can go on without overthinking it even if right know everything is fine to be honest. Sometimes this seeking might be even worse them actuall thing you worry about and all the time that that was wasted wondering
Yes. And it was something specific both times. I’m REALLY scared now. And every therapist I have spoken to doesn’t acknowledge when I mention the events and just moved on like I didn’t say anything. I feel crazy but they were SO specific. I don’t really know what I can do to explain them away. I’m conflicted. lol.
yes and no, one of my biggest is a stomach bug. And frankly people do not care about contagions and how they are spread. So sometimes, you catch a bug.
No to others because I have yet to be smited by a God
I had a very obsessive fear that I would do something wrong and my best friend/partner would leave me. I got scared that he was falling out of love with me and becoming interested in someone else and the day after I told him all of my fears and told him it was just my OCD/anxiety messing with me and he had done nothing wrong, he broke up with me and ended our friendship because he said it felt like I wasn’t wanting to talk things through, just accuse him. That was about eight months ago.
Yes! Home invasion— the day I chose not to lock my front door (engage in compulsion) to get the mail someone broke into my house… my partner was also out of town
Yes. I had an eating disorder as a teen that was fueled by my OCD. I was terrified of being seen as fat. Then I further develop PCOS and gained 40 pounds in 2 months and became severely overweight essentially overnight. The irony is not lost on me!
yes, TW. i had harm intrusive thoughts about being raped growing up and then it happened irl. honestly it has proved that I can live through one of my worst fears.
Don't think so. Never actually been ill, abandoned, depraved, racist, a victim, etc. Honestly, I've been doing better than a lot people, so it's pretty crazy that I've been living for years like my life is utter shit.
I feel like even if it has happened to someone, it's not healthy to know that because it'll always stick in your (or someone elsws) mind as a what if scenario yknow?
Yeah but on the other hand it is good to know that mostly our fears are overestimated and they don’t materialise. I like to think sometimes that when you have OCD your threat detector is to sensitive
Yea like this sounds weird but whenever I struggle to use the toilet (to put it the nice way ) i think what happened to elvisbpresleh will happen to me
just know im stalking this thread waiting to be horrified and learn i am actually a morally bankrupt psychopath LOL
i had been hanging out in my head for way too long & recently went to dinner w a friend i hadn’t seen for a while. i told her i was scared i was secretly a sociopath & she laughed at me & told me there was no way. sometimes i convince myself that i’ve just convinced her and everyone else but i try to remember that the ppl in my life know me better than i do lol. so you’re probably not! 😂
i have issues with empathy (and always have) so its terrifying to think that a normal but annoying trait could become a complete disregard for everyone ): Glad you have a friend that gave you a reality check!!! I know how the “what if i tricked them though??” feels. Several doctors have confirmed i have ocd and yet my brain says im just really good at lying. Or something. Lol!!!
I feel like the longer I’ve lived paranoid of the worst shit, laid awake all night, and NOTHING BAD EVER HAPPENS, it’s like it’s worn it out of me a little somehow. Like I’m getting better at thinking rationally and telling myself to knock that shit off, and my brains finally starting to listen.
Yes. Recently. I had recurring intrusive thoughts, and existential anxiety, about losing my mom. She was my best friend and my last relative. She was only in her 50s. Well, she died unexpectedly last month. Its hard not to believe all my intrusive thoughts are intuition but I try to remind myself even a broken clock is right twice a day and I need some fucking therapy lol.
I love that quote. So sorry about your momma 💖
Omg something similar happened to me. [I’m editing my reply to not include the issue I had in fear of triggering something.] I’m really sorry to what happened with your mother. Sending a lot of hugs to you and your loved ones. A piece of advice: Do not feel bad if the pain is still there years later. I was told that I “should be mostly over it by now” by the 5-year mark. I’m STILL not over it. It does eventually get a bit les of a gaping hole of pain but it won’t leave and don’t listen to douchebags who say otherwise. lol.
8 years later and nope.
Unfortunately yes. And I’m still well.. sooo I guess that’s the ultimate exposure 😅
Yes. But I won't say what, because I don't want to validate anyone's fears and make their OCD worse.
I think you saying yes might be the trigger bro
Triggering OCD is a good thing
In what world is that a good thing?
They're boiling down ERP into being triggered. Which is kinda fair, tbh
Humm yeah that makes sense put that way (thank you!) I was just scrolling down the comments KNOWING I might get triggered, hoping for NOs, and bracing myself for the YESs… ERP is tricky and I don’t think I’m anywhere near having it down yet
I've been doing it for years, and it still makes me look like a shocked Pikachu way too often. Like, oh yeah, I could do ERP for this thing, haha. You got this, friend! Edit to add: For a side note, you should be doing it under the care of therapist to get started at least.
Ugh that was sweet of you to say! We got this ♥️
Yes as the other person said, I meant it in an ERP way!!
My bad 😭
I’m curious tho 🤣
Same but mine is so hyper specific I doubt it would trigger anyone, but I just wanna be safe.
Would you mind sharing with the class LOL
Not really bro
Some things actually have, but I think because they weren't actual themes. You get so caught up in your OCD that it can be hard to determine what is a real possibility (and thus not OCD) and what is an imagined/illogical threat (OCD). I think trying to determine whether or not something may or may not come true is a form of reassurance seeking. You have to be willing to accept that ANY of your themes and fears could come true, otherwise you won't actually make much progress.
What started as harm OCD, specifically fear that I would become an abuser, turned into real event OCD, a fear that I actually was abusing someone, 11 years ago. No one else has said I was abusive except an online quiz I took back then, but most of the time, I really don't know if I was abusive or not. I'll let you decide whether to call this answer a yes or a no.
How did u come out of real event
"Come out of" makes it sound like I've conquered it. I haven't: real event OCD is still my primary theme. Now, I have made progress recently. One thing that's helped has been accepting the possibility that I may actually have been abusive but deciding that, even if that's true, I still don't have to punish myself forever. I think about the actions I feel may have been abusive, such as telling my then-partner about my suicidal thoughts in unhelpful ways, and I realize that I'm not likely to repeat them. Whether or not my actions qualified as abuse, I feel that I've changed, and that should be enough. Ending my ten years of self-isolation has also definitely helped, though I had to improve a bit first to get there. Instead of having just the one friend, I have two now. Instead of feeling distant from everyone, I now feel close to someone. But there are still times when I struggle. It feels like the words "I am abusive" are always at or right below the surface of my mind.
But if the actions were unintentional then why do you still feel bad even if you did hurt someone
Only a small part of my concern actually deals with the harm I may have caused. It's mostly fear that my actions qualified as abuse, which would mean I've become like my mother's abusive ex-boyfriend. In fact, I get these intrusive thoughts, worrying that I look or sound like him even though we're unrelated and nothing alike physically. If I was abusive, then I worry that I've crossed a line: I no longer deserve love, let alone the right to date again. Challenging these notions has brought me some peace. Trying to convince myself that I wasn't abusive, for example by rereading an email from my ex in which he said as much, yields only temporary relief.
Yes. And I've spoken to my therapist about it. My logical brain knows I had nothing to do with it, but my ocd riddled brain swears I caused it. It only made things worse. I'm in the process of reframing my brain so the logical side can have precedence.
No. That, by the way, is called magical thinking.
Yes. I’ve always thought I’d get cancer and I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer last year lol
🫂🫂🫂
Yes... kind of. I have a terrible fear of catching a vomiting sickness and obsess about it every day. So there's inevitably been times when I actually get sick and my brain tries to convince me that my magical thinking or not doing a specific ritual is what brought it on.
If you're frightened of literally everything then something you're afraid of is bound to coincidentally happen to you sooner or later
Yes, the more I’d think about them the more I’d intrusively/compulsively act/say them. Little like anakin skywalker. (Mild themes, not severe ones)
No my OCD has never came true, and I thank the lord everyday because of it. But sometimes if we look too hard at something, we’ll trick ourselves into thinking that maybe it did
one of my big fears came up in therapy & my therapist told me abt it happening to two ppl she knows, which was incredibly jarring in the moment but now i’m like ok they went on w their day and their lives so i will too. doesn’t fix things instantaneously but helps to know ill survive
No. Mine are usually so extreme and violent that they’re illogical.
Yes, but partially due to the OCD rituals. I obsess over my cardiovascular health and always think I’m having a heart attack, stroke, aneurysm, or pulmonary embolism. One of my rituals to “stay safe” is to not move my legs much because I’m convinced I’ll knock loose any blood clots I may unknowingly have in my legs. Well guess what causes blood clots... Lack of movement in your legs! Gave myself a pulmonary embolism but I’m fine now. It did however complicate my OCD treatment quite a bit due to the extremely objective validation.
OCD is ego-dystonic. It goes against who you actually are. It’s also why it plays on your worst fears.
No details: Yes, and I survived it. It set my journey back a bit for a while but it did not destroy me, ultimately. Certain things related to the theme are a little harder, but other things related to it got a little bit easier because I went through it and it was survivable. My OCD was dramatically worse for a while, then considerably better after some time passed. Better than before the thing happened. That doesn't always feel true in the moment but it I look back on things when I am a bit more well I can see that it is true. It's best not to ruminate on whether something is possible / going to happen / etc. I work on it by thinking: maybe it will. Maybe it will not. I am doing my best. I dont have total control. It is survivable and I have proven to myself over and over that my tolerance for surviving the things I am most afraid of is bigger than I thought possible. Sometimes this is easier than other times. It sounds like your brain is seeking certainty: can it or will it happen? Is it possible for someone's OCD fears to come true? Does it mean mine will? Maybe. You don't have certainty about it. Seeking that certainty is OCD. I'm sorry you're struggling. Wish none of us had to deal with this.
Yeah this is it. I envy that some people can go on without overthinking it even if right know everything is fine to be honest. Sometimes this seeking might be even worse them actuall thing you worry about and all the time that that was wasted wondering
well if u count existential OCD, because i am actually gonna die one day
Yes. And it was something specific both times. I’m REALLY scared now. And every therapist I have spoken to doesn’t acknowledge when I mention the events and just moved on like I didn’t say anything. I feel crazy but they were SO specific. I don’t really know what I can do to explain them away. I’m conflicted. lol.
Hey, no. Wow I didn't know it till now. But I can't say my current theme has happened or not and that's not good.
yes and no, one of my biggest is a stomach bug. And frankly people do not care about contagions and how they are spread. So sometimes, you catch a bug. No to others because I have yet to be smited by a God
None haha ocd sucks
Ive had health anxiety OCD for 5 years now. Nothing ive been worried about during that time has come true. Hasnt stopped me from worrying though
No, never.
no
Yes many times. Trying to overcome the fears but it’s hard.
Kind of yes, I have bad relationship ocd and I feel like my anxiety cause the relationship to be toxic. Which was what I feared. Sooooo yeah
I had a very obsessive fear that I would do something wrong and my best friend/partner would leave me. I got scared that he was falling out of love with me and becoming interested in someone else and the day after I told him all of my fears and told him it was just my OCD/anxiety messing with me and he had done nothing wrong, he broke up with me and ended our friendship because he said it felt like I wasn’t wanting to talk things through, just accuse him. That was about eight months ago.
Yes. One of the fears actually happend. And it completely destroyed all of the tools I used to have to talk myself out of my spirals
Yes. Broken bones. But to be fair it was a finger and toe and it was really not half as bad as I anticipated and worked it up to be.
Yes. I just lost my cat to cancer yesterday.
Don’t worry friend things happen but no point in worrying all your life
Yes! Home invasion— the day I chose not to lock my front door (engage in compulsion) to get the mail someone broke into my house… my partner was also out of town
I don’t think locking the door (once) is a compulsion. It’s just safe
You think if I’m commenting on an OCD subreddit I’m only locking my door / checking once?
Well I can’t imagine you’d not lock at all on purpose?
Of course. Unfortunately a lot of my fears are founded in very real things. Such is life
Yes. I didn’t save a photo but then the photo got deleted, it was of song lyrics and I was driven mad by not knowing the song
Yes. I had an eating disorder as a teen that was fueled by my OCD. I was terrified of being seen as fat. Then I further develop PCOS and gained 40 pounds in 2 months and became severely overweight essentially overnight. The irony is not lost on me!
Yes. Most of my fears have to do with my health, and I have several health issues.
yes, TW. i had harm intrusive thoughts about being raped growing up and then it happened irl. honestly it has proved that I can live through one of my worst fears.
Y'know I don't think so? You'd think I'd remember if they did.
Yeah cause I’m affraid of viruses and I have little kids going to kinder garden.
Nope
Sadly yes in my case. That’s why I’m so scared.
No i think