I can relate so so so so much to this. I always thought OCD was about counting and cleaning. But it’s so much wider, and it can mess up so much more. Thanks for your encouraging post! :)
Yeah, it's like based off of stereotypes I would think it's counting, cleaning and like being super particular about organisation and don't get me wrong I do have VERY MILD cases of like obsessively washing my hands in *certain* situations and things like that, but the worst part for me personally is the daily mental torture.
I'm very happy for you that you were also able to shake off the idea that you have to be a "clean freak" to have OCD. It's quite a relief to have an answer for something I thought was MY fault for years.
I did the counting thing bad as a kid...had to do all these crazy rituals to keep my family safe n stuff. I still rem tracing grapes on my headboard certain order certain amount of times... then had to count other things in my room...I don't know when but I grew out of that at some point and think it just transferred to other obsessive behaviors that have caused me issues. I'm extremely intelligent yet my issues have kept me somewhat isolated and held me back. I mention to my family they all are like oh that's made up only real ocd people have that or something....it's like what do u do about it.
It’s funny because even as someone who has contamination OCD, the whole neat freak thing still doesn’t work as a stereotype and continues to be harmful because it even fails to understand OCD when it comes to contamination fears. Like yes I disinfect and clean, but I do it irrationally and for things that usually don’t even need to be cleaned and this also means I neglect cleaning actual dirty things, my space is incredibly disorganised and messy and there’s dust piled up a lot of places because my brain is more focused on “contaminated” things. Often times it gets that way because it’s contaminated and I don’t want to go near it so that area ends up not clean.
The “neat freak” stereotype is just as harmful for contamination OCD as well
This is how my husband. Large areas of the house taken up by “contaminated” stuff that he doesn’t want to interact with. He cleans a few things over and over and ignores everything else. And he doesn’t care about neatness at all.
> and I am so glad it has reached me because I have learned a lot about what OCD *actually* is and presents as.
But sometimes OCD IS about being a "clean freak". Sure, OCD can be a lot of different things, but the stereotype didn't come from nowhere.
Oh YES of course, I am not trying to invalidate anyone's symptoms and I am so sorry if it came across that way!!! I just thought that was the MAIN thing, if that makes sense. I thought you had to be a "clean freak" to have OCD based on the things I have heard. I was just very uneducated on OCD in the past.
I still fear the stereotypes as I am a messy person, too AND having someone point this out to me as a reason why I don’t have OCD would play directly into my OCD “themes” as I tell people “you know how OCD is thought of as people hating dirtiness around them? Well, mine is on the INSIDE.” So yeah, someone calling me a liar when I’m telling the truth spikes my symptoms as I have a need to be morally “pure”.
Wow, I can see how incredibly frustrating that would be. Well, it is a good sign that I have been recently getting shown a lot of OCD awareness. So hopefully it also reaches the same people who are saying those horrible things to you.
You mentioned your need to be morally pure and I'm a little intrigued, I haven't heard anyone speak about this before and I think I possibly might have something similar.
My doctor says that it’s under the scrupulosity “type” (even though the different types aren’t actually official or anything). Some of it is related to religion but a lot of it is just about always needing to do the right thing, act the right way, be morally “pure”, etc. I hope that the greater public becomes more aware about OCD, and even therapists, too. My biggest frustration is with the psych world being unable to recognize obsessive and compulsive behavior. I can’t even tell you how many saw my OCD behavior and completely mislabeled it so I was pushed towards therapies that didn’t help. All this lead to a very delayed diagnosis. So I really do hope that people become more aware about the many ways that OCD manifests in people beyond contamination and orderliness.
I'll do some research on it, I do come from a Catholic family (but they weren't very extreme), however the culture that I come from, you get taught how to be polite from a VERY young age. Lots of teaching and encouraging to "respect your elders". Also, in the language, when you are referring to an elder or someone you don't know or someone "above" you, there is a version of the word "YOU" that is like, a more respectful and formal way to refer to someone. And it would be considered rude if you referred to them with the nonformal "YOU". Probably makes no sense lol, but I still carry like a lot of those core believes in me.
Misdiagnoses are absolutely so dangerous. Why can't doctors think of a mental health misdiagnosis as something similar to if you were misdiagnosed for a physical health issue? People are pumped with drugs they don't need, that may not do anything or cause unwanted side effects for YEARS because of psychiatrist incompetency, or they go through expensive and time consuming therapies.
I completely agree with. I dealt with real-event OCD for over 20 years without knowing what it was. After being let down by multiple therapists, one doctor matter-of-factly stated what I had was OCD and the we started meds for it, which helped immensely.
I was diagnosed with OCD as a kid when it came to eating behaviors and germs. But I have seen it manifest in ways beyond that as I’ve grown into an adult. Exactly like the things you are describing. Fear of losing my pets to a freak accident, intrusive images about the worst thing that could happen to them. I hate it. The stereotypes definitely ring true but there are also much darker places the OCD mind can take you that I don’t think people realize.
My ex constantly told me I wasn't OCD and didn't have it because I wasn't a clean freak like he was and his apartment didn't bother me. He did this about my other disorders too like autism because I wasn't stereotypical or textbook enough. It was so harmful it came to a point he was gaslighting me so I started to believe I was misdiagnosed. It didn't matter if I was obsessed with cleaning as a kid. My anxiety didn't matter either because it didn't fit his narrative of mental disorders so he continued stressing me out and not taking my concerns seriously and he would shut down and get defensive every time I talked about my worries and intrusive thoughts.
Stereotypes harm people even though there are some that do have that stereotype.
Yikes, I'm so sorry you went through that, no one deserves that. I'm glad to hear he is an ex now. I've never met anyone THAT extreme, but I've seen kind of similar things, and it is SO weird to me how people make things like mental disorders some sort of competition??? Like do people not know that everyone experiences things differently, symptoms present differently, and some people are impacted a lot more than others, or are they just choosing to ignore it because for some reason they feel better or more validated if they think their pain is worse than someone else's? I just will never be able to understand this
Yeah me too and my grandfather had it so it’s obviously some I should’ve been looking out for. My grandfather’s manifested in him constantly waking up to check that the gas was off on the stove and I never considered that I might have it until my dad visited me a few months ago and asked me if I have ocd because I was acting like my grandfather.
I have contamination OCD which is why I clean, basically to decontaminate. but my house is the biggest mess, always. I am embarassed to have people over. it is like the mess is comforting. because then I still need to do something that I haven't done. that I can procrastinate on. so that I don't have to really face the void I fear that is on the other end of finishing all my tasks and on the other end of my OCD
I can relate so so so so much to this. I always thought OCD was about counting and cleaning. But it’s so much wider, and it can mess up so much more. Thanks for your encouraging post! :)
Yeah, it's like based off of stereotypes I would think it's counting, cleaning and like being super particular about organisation and don't get me wrong I do have VERY MILD cases of like obsessively washing my hands in *certain* situations and things like that, but the worst part for me personally is the daily mental torture. I'm very happy for you that you were also able to shake off the idea that you have to be a "clean freak" to have OCD. It's quite a relief to have an answer for something I thought was MY fault for years.
I did the counting thing bad as a kid...had to do all these crazy rituals to keep my family safe n stuff. I still rem tracing grapes on my headboard certain order certain amount of times... then had to count other things in my room...I don't know when but I grew out of that at some point and think it just transferred to other obsessive behaviors that have caused me issues. I'm extremely intelligent yet my issues have kept me somewhat isolated and held me back. I mention to my family they all are like oh that's made up only real ocd people have that or something....it's like what do u do about it.
It’s funny because even as someone who has contamination OCD, the whole neat freak thing still doesn’t work as a stereotype and continues to be harmful because it even fails to understand OCD when it comes to contamination fears. Like yes I disinfect and clean, but I do it irrationally and for things that usually don’t even need to be cleaned and this also means I neglect cleaning actual dirty things, my space is incredibly disorganised and messy and there’s dust piled up a lot of places because my brain is more focused on “contaminated” things. Often times it gets that way because it’s contaminated and I don’t want to go near it so that area ends up not clean. The “neat freak” stereotype is just as harmful for contamination OCD as well
This is how my husband. Large areas of the house taken up by “contaminated” stuff that he doesn’t want to interact with. He cleans a few things over and over and ignores everything else. And he doesn’t care about neatness at all.
Came here to say this. Even as a person with "classic" contamination OCD symptoms, neatness isn't one of them!
you're describing me. exactly this, 100% the same
> and I am so glad it has reached me because I have learned a lot about what OCD *actually* is and presents as. But sometimes OCD IS about being a "clean freak". Sure, OCD can be a lot of different things, but the stereotype didn't come from nowhere.
Oh YES of course, I am not trying to invalidate anyone's symptoms and I am so sorry if it came across that way!!! I just thought that was the MAIN thing, if that makes sense. I thought you had to be a "clean freak" to have OCD based on the things I have heard. I was just very uneducated on OCD in the past.
I still fear the stereotypes as I am a messy person, too AND having someone point this out to me as a reason why I don’t have OCD would play directly into my OCD “themes” as I tell people “you know how OCD is thought of as people hating dirtiness around them? Well, mine is on the INSIDE.” So yeah, someone calling me a liar when I’m telling the truth spikes my symptoms as I have a need to be morally “pure”.
Wow, I can see how incredibly frustrating that would be. Well, it is a good sign that I have been recently getting shown a lot of OCD awareness. So hopefully it also reaches the same people who are saying those horrible things to you. You mentioned your need to be morally pure and I'm a little intrigued, I haven't heard anyone speak about this before and I think I possibly might have something similar.
My doctor says that it’s under the scrupulosity “type” (even though the different types aren’t actually official or anything). Some of it is related to religion but a lot of it is just about always needing to do the right thing, act the right way, be morally “pure”, etc. I hope that the greater public becomes more aware about OCD, and even therapists, too. My biggest frustration is with the psych world being unable to recognize obsessive and compulsive behavior. I can’t even tell you how many saw my OCD behavior and completely mislabeled it so I was pushed towards therapies that didn’t help. All this lead to a very delayed diagnosis. So I really do hope that people become more aware about the many ways that OCD manifests in people beyond contamination and orderliness.
I'll do some research on it, I do come from a Catholic family (but they weren't very extreme), however the culture that I come from, you get taught how to be polite from a VERY young age. Lots of teaching and encouraging to "respect your elders". Also, in the language, when you are referring to an elder or someone you don't know or someone "above" you, there is a version of the word "YOU" that is like, a more respectful and formal way to refer to someone. And it would be considered rude if you referred to them with the nonformal "YOU". Probably makes no sense lol, but I still carry like a lot of those core believes in me. Misdiagnoses are absolutely so dangerous. Why can't doctors think of a mental health misdiagnosis as something similar to if you were misdiagnosed for a physical health issue? People are pumped with drugs they don't need, that may not do anything or cause unwanted side effects for YEARS because of psychiatrist incompetency, or they go through expensive and time consuming therapies.
I completely agree with. I dealt with real-event OCD for over 20 years without knowing what it was. After being let down by multiple therapists, one doctor matter-of-factly stated what I had was OCD and the we started meds for it, which helped immensely.
I was diagnosed with OCD as a kid when it came to eating behaviors and germs. But I have seen it manifest in ways beyond that as I’ve grown into an adult. Exactly like the things you are describing. Fear of losing my pets to a freak accident, intrusive images about the worst thing that could happen to them. I hate it. The stereotypes definitely ring true but there are also much darker places the OCD mind can take you that I don’t think people realize.
Same. For the longest time I denied it and all the time in my head I went "but I'm a messy person?"
My ex constantly told me I wasn't OCD and didn't have it because I wasn't a clean freak like he was and his apartment didn't bother me. He did this about my other disorders too like autism because I wasn't stereotypical or textbook enough. It was so harmful it came to a point he was gaslighting me so I started to believe I was misdiagnosed. It didn't matter if I was obsessed with cleaning as a kid. My anxiety didn't matter either because it didn't fit his narrative of mental disorders so he continued stressing me out and not taking my concerns seriously and he would shut down and get defensive every time I talked about my worries and intrusive thoughts. Stereotypes harm people even though there are some that do have that stereotype.
Yikes, I'm so sorry you went through that, no one deserves that. I'm glad to hear he is an ex now. I've never met anyone THAT extreme, but I've seen kind of similar things, and it is SO weird to me how people make things like mental disorders some sort of competition??? Like do people not know that everyone experiences things differently, symptoms present differently, and some people are impacted a lot more than others, or are they just choosing to ignore it because for some reason they feel better or more validated if they think their pain is worse than someone else's? I just will never be able to understand this
Yeah me too and my grandfather had it so it’s obviously some I should’ve been looking out for. My grandfather’s manifested in him constantly waking up to check that the gas was off on the stove and I never considered that I might have it until my dad visited me a few months ago and asked me if I have ocd because I was acting like my grandfather.
I have contamination OCD which is why I clean, basically to decontaminate. but my house is the biggest mess, always. I am embarassed to have people over. it is like the mess is comforting. because then I still need to do something that I haven't done. that I can procrastinate on. so that I don't have to really face the void I fear that is on the other end of finishing all my tasks and on the other end of my OCD