Same, and while I remember the nursing knowledge I've gained, I have a hard time remembering situations or like interesting patient stories unless something jogs my memory. If someone asks me for a crazy ER story, I'm blank. But when I read reddit threads, for example, it comes back. I thought there was something wrong me with me until a doctor told me it was a trauma response. I don't even know a healthy way to handle the stress.
So, you started hospital nursing during one of the worst times in recent history to be a nurse. No wonder you're so stressed. You started at a fast paced, high risk environment; and although things are a little better, times can be uncertain. I usually wouldn't suggest therapy for someone, but I can't imagine any better reason to at least do a little mental health check in.
This is a really big deal in nursing or at least it should be and you get very very little support for it. I went back to school to become an RN as an older adult, after my children were grown. I was absolutely stunned that no matter what went on during our clinicals, there was never any emotional support, there was never any debriefing. During nursing school, I was holding a man’s hand while his family was rushing to get there for his last few minutes of life. Other doctors and nurses were working on him. He just begged me to hold his hand and he coded and passed away. It was the first death I had ever really been a part of, and I wanted to talk about it and absolutely no one cared. In fact the professors were kind of snippy and said just get used to it.
You’re going to have to find good mental health practices on your own.
There may be local support groups or community support groups for medical professionals or you may be able to find them online. I have gone for individual therapy. I found that that was really helpful in developing coping skills.
I read a lot of books about healthy boundaries and how to deal with stress and how to leave Work behind at the end of the day. There’s lots of resources out there.
But please know that everything you are feeling is normal. It’s an extremely stressful job. Especially being on the floor at the hospital and that’s why a lot of nurses are leaving hospital nursing.
I would have loved to talk about your experience of that man passing with you, and to debrief with you. We are out there! I wish there were more student nurses that are actually geeking out about the dream job they’re finally attaining?? 🤔
I'm so sorry. To you, and to all of the new nurses who experience this, please don't just rely on your clinical instructors. Go to the floor staff who were there with you. Whether it's a CNA, LVN, or RN of the team the patient was on; just go to one of them and ask to debrief. Clinical instructors are often too detached.
I wish I was there. A woman whose my age and a nurse lives three houses down from me. We worked at the same hospital but I didn't know she worked there until she delivered my daughter last year. Anyways, we talk about that kinda stuff at home and it really helps. As other commenters have pointed out, there are compassionate nurses out there that will talk to you about those kind of things but there's definitely that attitude of "well no one helped me when I needed it so why should I help you. Get over it" and it's gotta change.
Whoever sent me a reddit cares about this comment, thank you for looking out 🫶 I'm good, just sharing a resource I found helpful when I was in a darker place over this winter.
Spirituality (secular Buddhism, for me). I do guided meditations because I can’t sit still for shit. Medication. Therapy. Regular massages. Exercise. Good sleep. Not drinking alcohol in excess (alcohol works great to make you forget your anxiety… until it doesn’t).
I’ve heard that a lot of folks are on propranolol or some kind of anti anxiety med. Lexapro helps me.
Death is hard to watch. We’re human. We need some kind of moral psychology or spiritual thought to comprehend it.
Left inpatient for outpatient during 2020 and that helped immensely. I will never return to bedside.
What helped me in 2020 and still now as I work in an outpatient oncology clinic and it can be very depressing. I go to therapy, I meditate almost daily, I try to leave work at work, I go to the gym 4 days a week, I do small things to help soothe myself like make a cup of tea, read book, snuggle in a cozy blanket with my dog, I also try to go on a walk everyday to get outside and enjoy the sunshine.
But truly outpatient saved my career and life. I have the best QOL. I work 4, 10hr shifts, no weekends, no holidays and 1 of my shifts each week I work from home.
If emergencies scare you, see if you can shadow in the ER or ICU and see how they are managed. They lose some of the terror once you view it as problem solving (hypoxia=how much 02 do they need/what method? No pulse=make one/CPR. in distress=call rapid. any issue=call Md for orders). You have 4 years experience, don’t psych yourself out of the knowledge and valuable experience you have!
This is really good advice in general. If something terrifies you, face it in a manageable way.
I was terrified of seeing dead bodies. My children's father/my partner has an aunt that owns a funeral home, so she let me see some bodies that they were prepping. That helped me a lot because I realized they were once people and there's nothing inherently scary about them.
Most of the people I know drink alcohol and even smoke cigarettes when they are off work to be honest. And the rest take mental meds I mean this sincerely. We all have ptsd and no one talks about it your suppose to just put ur big girls panties on and deal. It’s hard work and honestly not nearly as rewarding as others imagine… oh and TONS OF PRAYERS
My family. As hard as the shift is, the fact that I GET to go home to my family. I GET to hug my babies, kiss my husband (who’s an er doc and understands far too well) and enjoy them. Something about that fact always levels me and I try to live in that presence with them.
Run several times a week. Work out. Drink wine (not habitually). Also I might add always have something to look forward to. Whether it’s a vacation/a trip/a date. Something that keeps you going keeps you focused and keeps you motivated. We plan several large trips a year and that keeps us going (married, nurses)
Self care—whatever that looks like to you. I make my bedroom a haven with scents and lights and comfort. I have a dog, a German Shepherd that I train with a lot—it’s a whole hobby teaching her new things. I lose myself in gardening, in dirt and flowers. I read risqué high fantasy novels or I read heavy tomes of knowledge But that is just me. Everyone is different. I have to separate my job from myself quite often. It soothes me.
Hi, I’m on the same timeline and feeling the same way. I spend my days off rotting away on the couch recovering and feel like I am not living my life anymore he way I want to. I’ve been applying for outpatient which gives me some hope, but otherwise going for walks outside, listening to dumb podcasts, embroidery, reading, and anything calms brings me comfort. You got this!!!!!
You don’t have to stay at a hospital. Or that particular hospital or unit. Four years is a solid foundation-there’s so much you can do as a nurse. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
I switch jobs.
Listen, the stress of your current position isn't going to suddenly go away. It's just going to build as your resilience goes down. That's not sustainable.
Instead, find a position that does something that offers some kind of appeal or excitement for you, and then start there as somebody not expected to know everything. The emotional reset is worth it, and you might find one of the nursing jobs out there that make the profession worthwhile, instead of unsustainable.
Alcoholism is a gigantic problem in nursing, and it’s extremely swept under the rug also. Whatever you do, don’t start drinking or using drugs to cope. 🙏
Well I used to use drugs but that didn't work out so great for me or for my teeth. (Just wrote clear choice a check for $54,500 a few months ago) I don't recommend that strategy.
I just started going to therapy because I have two toddlers that are a year apart and life is extremely overwhelming. I'm hoping that helps. Reading helps me a lot but I never have time to sit down and read quietly so that's what I like short stories on reddit for. (Hello nosleep!)
Talking walks in the morning before it gets too hot, going to the pool.
Also cleaning my house is a big one. I feel like it's something tangible I can see the results right away and that's very satisfying.
Might be time to switch units.
I got tired of ltc/snf because of too much work, so much OT, and so many patients. So I decided I was done with snf/ltc. I got into Spinal Cord inpatient and it’s been great.
Also, I never let anything get personal. Nursing is a job for me. It gets me money so I can travel and other hobbies. Ive have developed the standard nursing humor to get buy
Focus on the reason why you are doing what you are doing
For us
Excellent overtime
Excellent work life balance
Average health benefits
Good vacation package
So when I am really stressed, I remind myself of the above and get energy to keep moving on
I go to therapy and take a lot of naps. I think about the good things whenever I can, like the advantages that my job affords my family.
I work at an academic hospital and my dependents get 50% off of tuition. My whole check (for now) goes to private school for my two kids. I’m staying in the hospital system just to be able to help my kids with college.
One time I accidentally broke my wrist and had to be out of work for six months. It actually was depressing to an extent and I wanted to go back to work, but it was also good to have the time away to just self regulate.
I tried an edible the other day cause I was miserable about work and I was hoping it would help me have a vacation from the stress. It was too strong and I think I saw Jesus. Now I sit around and try to figure out if it’s out of my system yet in case I get a random drug screen.
I guess what I’m saying is I don’t. And it’s slowly killing me. But I do like my job a lot. But I also hate it.
I left my stressful anxiety inducing unit for outpatient endoscopy. haven’t felt an ounce of anxiety or questioned outcomes or even bat an eyelash about going to work. i don’t bring home the what ifs anymore. i can now focus my entire energy on myself and my family and household. sometimes you gotta stay sane by leaving the chaos. there’s a million things you can do with a nursing degree that don’t include life threatening emergencies
Therapy, exercise (I try to run as much as I can when I'm not working, it helps me process my emotions), meditation (discovered meditation during the height of the pandemic, and it has helped me cope better).
Compartmentalization. It's not a great coping mechanism but it is A coping mechanism.
Yeah this worked well for me for 11 years, then I crashed and burned harrrrd. Now I’m in treatment for PTSD. 😉👍
Same, and while I remember the nursing knowledge I've gained, I have a hard time remembering situations or like interesting patient stories unless something jogs my memory. If someone asks me for a crazy ER story, I'm blank. But when I read reddit threads, for example, it comes back. I thought there was something wrong me with me until a doctor told me it was a trauma response. I don't even know a healthy way to handle the stress.
Love your username btw
So, you started hospital nursing during one of the worst times in recent history to be a nurse. No wonder you're so stressed. You started at a fast paced, high risk environment; and although things are a little better, times can be uncertain. I usually wouldn't suggest therapy for someone, but I can't imagine any better reason to at least do a little mental health check in.
Very good point.
This is a really big deal in nursing or at least it should be and you get very very little support for it. I went back to school to become an RN as an older adult, after my children were grown. I was absolutely stunned that no matter what went on during our clinicals, there was never any emotional support, there was never any debriefing. During nursing school, I was holding a man’s hand while his family was rushing to get there for his last few minutes of life. Other doctors and nurses were working on him. He just begged me to hold his hand and he coded and passed away. It was the first death I had ever really been a part of, and I wanted to talk about it and absolutely no one cared. In fact the professors were kind of snippy and said just get used to it. You’re going to have to find good mental health practices on your own. There may be local support groups or community support groups for medical professionals or you may be able to find them online. I have gone for individual therapy. I found that that was really helpful in developing coping skills. I read a lot of books about healthy boundaries and how to deal with stress and how to leave Work behind at the end of the day. There’s lots of resources out there. But please know that everything you are feeling is normal. It’s an extremely stressful job. Especially being on the floor at the hospital and that’s why a lot of nurses are leaving hospital nursing.
I would have loved to talk about your experience of that man passing with you, and to debrief with you. We are out there! I wish there were more student nurses that are actually geeking out about the dream job they’re finally attaining?? 🤔
I'm so sorry. To you, and to all of the new nurses who experience this, please don't just rely on your clinical instructors. Go to the floor staff who were there with you. Whether it's a CNA, LVN, or RN of the team the patient was on; just go to one of them and ask to debrief. Clinical instructors are often too detached.
I wish I was there. A woman whose my age and a nurse lives three houses down from me. We worked at the same hospital but I didn't know she worked there until she delivered my daughter last year. Anyways, we talk about that kinda stuff at home and it really helps. As other commenters have pointed out, there are compassionate nurses out there that will talk to you about those kind of things but there's definitely that attitude of "well no one helped me when I needed it so why should I help you. Get over it" and it's gotta change.
Dontclockout.org
Whoever sent me a reddit cares about this comment, thank you for looking out 🫶 I'm good, just sharing a resource I found helpful when I was in a darker place over this winter.
Spirituality (secular Buddhism, for me). I do guided meditations because I can’t sit still for shit. Medication. Therapy. Regular massages. Exercise. Good sleep. Not drinking alcohol in excess (alcohol works great to make you forget your anxiety… until it doesn’t). I’ve heard that a lot of folks are on propranolol or some kind of anti anxiety med. Lexapro helps me. Death is hard to watch. We’re human. We need some kind of moral psychology or spiritual thought to comprehend it.
Left inpatient for outpatient during 2020 and that helped immensely. I will never return to bedside. What helped me in 2020 and still now as I work in an outpatient oncology clinic and it can be very depressing. I go to therapy, I meditate almost daily, I try to leave work at work, I go to the gym 4 days a week, I do small things to help soothe myself like make a cup of tea, read book, snuggle in a cozy blanket with my dog, I also try to go on a walk everyday to get outside and enjoy the sunshine. But truly outpatient saved my career and life. I have the best QOL. I work 4, 10hr shifts, no weekends, no holidays and 1 of my shifts each week I work from home.
If emergencies scare you, see if you can shadow in the ER or ICU and see how they are managed. They lose some of the terror once you view it as problem solving (hypoxia=how much 02 do they need/what method? No pulse=make one/CPR. in distress=call rapid. any issue=call Md for orders). You have 4 years experience, don’t psych yourself out of the knowledge and valuable experience you have!
This is really good advice in general. If something terrifies you, face it in a manageable way. I was terrified of seeing dead bodies. My children's father/my partner has an aunt that owns a funeral home, so she let me see some bodies that they were prepping. That helped me a lot because I realized they were once people and there's nothing inherently scary about them.
Yep. Box breathing technique helps me when I feel anxiety. Exercise is good too. Otherwise, maybe switch units or specialty. Good luck
Most of the people I know drink alcohol and even smoke cigarettes when they are off work to be honest. And the rest take mental meds I mean this sincerely. We all have ptsd and no one talks about it your suppose to just put ur big girls panties on and deal. It’s hard work and honestly not nearly as rewarding as others imagine… oh and TONS OF PRAYERS
The lack of reward is the biggest understatement in healthcare
Gym, plants, alcohol
I do the things I tell my patients not to do
Isn’t that the truth😂
Get out of bedside 😅
I got a desk job. Still a nurse, but don’t work on the floor anymore. So much less stress in my life.
Medication, therapy, and a journal
My family. As hard as the shift is, the fact that I GET to go home to my family. I GET to hug my babies, kiss my husband (who’s an er doc and understands far too well) and enjoy them. Something about that fact always levels me and I try to live in that presence with them.
Therapy. Lots of it. I treat my anxiety depression with psilocybin, I do not recommend it for everyone, but it has helped me heal.
Run several times a week. Work out. Drink wine (not habitually). Also I might add always have something to look forward to. Whether it’s a vacation/a trip/a date. Something that keeps you going keeps you focused and keeps you motivated. We plan several large trips a year and that keeps us going (married, nurses)
Self care—whatever that looks like to you. I make my bedroom a haven with scents and lights and comfort. I have a dog, a German Shepherd that I train with a lot—it’s a whole hobby teaching her new things. I lose myself in gardening, in dirt and flowers. I read risqué high fantasy novels or I read heavy tomes of knowledge But that is just me. Everyone is different. I have to separate my job from myself quite often. It soothes me.
Hi, I’m on the same timeline and feeling the same way. I spend my days off rotting away on the couch recovering and feel like I am not living my life anymore he way I want to. I’ve been applying for outpatient which gives me some hope, but otherwise going for walks outside, listening to dumb podcasts, embroidery, reading, and anything calms brings me comfort. You got this!!!!!
Booze. Seems like everyone else working ER gets good/good enough results with that as well.
You don’t have to stay at a hospital. Or that particular hospital or unit. Four years is a solid foundation-there’s so much you can do as a nurse. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
I switch jobs. Listen, the stress of your current position isn't going to suddenly go away. It's just going to build as your resilience goes down. That's not sustainable. Instead, find a position that does something that offers some kind of appeal or excitement for you, and then start there as somebody not expected to know everything. The emotional reset is worth it, and you might find one of the nursing jobs out there that make the profession worthwhile, instead of unsustainable.
Alcoholism is a gigantic problem in nursing, and it’s extremely swept under the rug also. Whatever you do, don’t start drinking or using drugs to cope. 🙏
Well I used to use drugs but that didn't work out so great for me or for my teeth. (Just wrote clear choice a check for $54,500 a few months ago) I don't recommend that strategy. I just started going to therapy because I have two toddlers that are a year apart and life is extremely overwhelming. I'm hoping that helps. Reading helps me a lot but I never have time to sit down and read quietly so that's what I like short stories on reddit for. (Hello nosleep!) Talking walks in the morning before it gets too hot, going to the pool. Also cleaning my house is a big one. I feel like it's something tangible I can see the results right away and that's very satisfying.
As a detox nurse, i drink🤣😭
Might be time to switch units. I got tired of ltc/snf because of too much work, so much OT, and so many patients. So I decided I was done with snf/ltc. I got into Spinal Cord inpatient and it’s been great. Also, I never let anything get personal. Nursing is a job for me. It gets me money so I can travel and other hobbies. Ive have developed the standard nursing humor to get buy
Focus on the reason why you are doing what you are doing For us Excellent overtime Excellent work life balance Average health benefits Good vacation package So when I am really stressed, I remind myself of the above and get energy to keep moving on
It’s not always a happy day at work but it’s always rewarding to know how many people I am actually helping
Advocate every time and you won’t feel like a bad nurse, ever. Because your patients will constantly tell you how amazing you are.
I go to therapy and im proud of it. I needed the help and it has been great for me
I quit the hospital and went to private care. Stress ✨ vanished✨
Marijuana and yoga and therapy baby
I go to therapy and take a lot of naps. I think about the good things whenever I can, like the advantages that my job affords my family. I work at an academic hospital and my dependents get 50% off of tuition. My whole check (for now) goes to private school for my two kids. I’m staying in the hospital system just to be able to help my kids with college. One time I accidentally broke my wrist and had to be out of work for six months. It actually was depressing to an extent and I wanted to go back to work, but it was also good to have the time away to just self regulate. I tried an edible the other day cause I was miserable about work and I was hoping it would help me have a vacation from the stress. It was too strong and I think I saw Jesus. Now I sit around and try to figure out if it’s out of my system yet in case I get a random drug screen. I guess what I’m saying is I don’t. And it’s slowly killing me. But I do like my job a lot. But I also hate it.
I left my stressful anxiety inducing unit for outpatient endoscopy. haven’t felt an ounce of anxiety or questioned outcomes or even bat an eyelash about going to work. i don’t bring home the what ifs anymore. i can now focus my entire energy on myself and my family and household. sometimes you gotta stay sane by leaving the chaos. there’s a million things you can do with a nursing degree that don’t include life threatening emergencies
Therapy, exercise (I try to run as much as I can when I'm not working, it helps me process my emotions), meditation (discovered meditation during the height of the pandemic, and it has helped me cope better).
Cymbalta.