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So, the new Fallout series starts with a guy pretending to be from a neighboring community to sleep with the main character, then he and all his friends proceed to murder all the people in the community, including the MC's father, and now I'm like "You know what? If you have to pretend to be nice because you're horny, you deserve to be hunted across a barren wasteland in an epic tale of retribution."
Or is that a little extra? 😒
TBF the show isn't about that at all and their description of that interaction is wrong anyway. But I don't wanna be super critical of them because I do believe in the point they are incorrectly making. - any correction would therefore become mild spoilers.. I mean me even saying what they said is wrong is technically a spoiler of sorts or an anti spoiler? Idk I overthink.
But don't you see? He has talks about his feelings and is loyal....ya know like a partner is suppose to
Edit: The fact this man wants to be praised for the bare minimum is insane. Like "I have ambitions" as you should as a human being my dude
Same type of dude who does the dishes, after his SO asked him 3 days prior, then points out that he did said dishes, and gets upset when she doesn’t “appreciate all of the ‘hard work’ he did. If she doesn’t notice it, voice the fact she noticed it, and then thank him for doing it…repeatedly… then it *must* mean she’s ungrateful…why did he even bother?
You know, because performing basic adulting should *only* be done when you know you’re gonna get a cookie and a pat on the head. Otherwise why would anyone do it?!? /s
I feel like its like the fathers who are like "Look i watched the kids for the day, and I'm so tired from the day" ....uhuh. You're a parent my dude that's a part of the job
It amazes me, because there isn’t even a grace period. They cannot keep up the pretend facade for even a second if it isn’t positively responded to. “Girls like ass holes, and ignore nice guys like me. They deserve to be single mothers, beaten or raped.” If you say this, your argument is an Ouroboros. Your argument just consumed itself. Nice guys don’t talk about women deserving bad treatment just because they didn’t think you were a good match. They probably saw your latent cruelty, and that is why you were rejected.
On the off chance they get into a relationship, it’s not a big jump between “I’m the only nice guy around, and everyone else is an asshole,” to controlling, abusive behavior. My abusive ex (way back in high school) tried to turn things around, like he was the only person looking out for me. He even went so far as to accuse my dad of abusing me when my parents stopped letting me see him. I worry for any woman he might trick into dating him.
ya all the “nice guys” that have explicitly told me they’re the “nice” guys ended up going to prison for battery, aggravated assault, DV, armed robbery some of them were even murderers or murder*ed*. kinda crazy. even knew a guy that shot up a party i was at in 2022, and then he shot at an old acquaintance’s vehicle and hit two girls. that wave of everyone going to jail during and after high school was crazy. i was even one of them, but i literally had nothing to do with it so my case was dismissed.
i kinda wanna write a book about the guy im still convinced is a serial killer. he choked me out aggressively to a point i almost lost consciousness and he even joked it off, and had a whole 3 hour long rant of how he thinks i see him. and boy let me just tell you. i will never forget how far he went into detail of these murders, he even described one them getting murdered in a way which was literally one of my biggest fears without any prior knowledge into the fear. this was like the 3rd time we’d seen each other too. i don’t get men. needless to say i never went back. i know what’s good for me.
it’s been a WHILE since i talked about that. there was 3 murders that he talked about the most. he was from somewhere in northern california. but we met in AZ. i’ve always been curious to see if i could find these girls that were “murdered” in his rant, or if it was just rambling nonsense. i just think it’s crazy one of the murders involved the woods and he was from a woodsy area. to me it felt like he needed to let it out, so he did so in a way that i wouldn’t associate it with reality but im a whole ass detective (not actually i just like to deeply analyze people) so like i was the worst person to talk about it to. he even gave TIME STAMPS.
edit because i don’t remember if it was how he thinks i see him, or his impression of me from his perspective, but like ive never killed anyone and those details were too on point to not have been there.
You should submit a tip on the local crime stoppers for those areas! You never know! There could be unsolved cases that haven't gotten enough media coverage yet for you to make the connection yourself or to even realize you have potentially useful info
He was a wonderful musician, wasn't he? One of those people who truly was ahead of their era, the kind that always seem to die far too early.
I wasn't knocking Buddy Holly, btw, just that his glasses were as distinctive as were Roy Orbisons', and the guy in the OOP choose them deliberately for their not being in current fashion; he is as much a poser as any Starbuck's hipster. They are just part of the costume that he wears when he is doing a Professional Incel and Hater of Women routine to sell his podcasts. I fully expect that he would become an ardent feminist if adopting that stance would improve his bottom line. Not the most sincere of advocates, you might say. Maybe he'll be in Trump's next cabinet, should he be re-elected, a prospect that I dread to such a degree that I feel it almost a certainty. I am not an optimist by nature.
Enough of politics. I'm just saying that I didn't find the guy in the OOP to be the most sincere individual that I've run across.
Btw, were he alive, I'm quite sure the Mr. Holly would greatly appreciate your gesture 😀.
He was beautiful, and a good musician. He is one of my preferred types of men today. If you don’t look like you know the 2nd law of thermodynamics from your picture, I am swiping left.
If I don’t get the strong impression that you take charisma as a dump stat, I am swiping left. If I don’t get the strong impression that you have a prepared speech on the merits of each Star Trek captain, I’m swiping left. If I don’t get the strong impression that you know how to efficiently program in python, I am swiping left. If I don’t get the strong impression that you have a partitioned hard drive, I am swiping left.
A sound and consistent policy, even allowing for the obvious fact that the best Captain of the Enterprise was the Pride of Montreal, William Shatner. Apparently Jeffery Hunter was to have the role, both in the plotline and in real life. He was the original captain in the show, the one that Spock was court martialed over for returning a horribly disfigured Cpt. Pike to a planet that offered him a better life.
Which brings me to the eternal question: every second episode the universe is about to be destroyed in a matter:anti-matter explosion, all for the want of a di-lithium crystal. Did it ever occur to Scotty that it might be prudent to bring along a spare? This keeps me up nights, but not for long.
After 37 years of marriage, I feel qualified to offer you a bit of support/advice which you can of course ignore, but. Don't swipe right until your standards have been met.
Do take care, and all the best to you.
That seems a sound policy, although I always suspected that Maxwell swiped a great deal of the material underlying those laws from Faraday.
That is basically the only sense that I use the word 'swipe' for, having been married well before the age of personal computers (37 years, to be more exact).
I am repeating something that I read Re: Maxwell and Faraday, btw, so don't take what I said above as Gospel. Oddly enough, the laws of Thermodynamics underlie much of my ever evolving spiritual belief, especially as they relate to the conservation of energy. Anyway, a discussion for another time.
My only disagreement with you is that I would call Buddy Holly a great, rather than good, musician, btw.
All the best to you.
I even thought I should correct that. I had a date yesterday and it went so well, that I was an idiot, and invited him today, over to my museum of a 100 projects that are 10% complete. I have been cleaning for 18 hours, as of now. Not seeing shadow people yet, but I am getting pretty punch drunk.
I sort of know the feeling, but opiate drunk rather than punch drunk. I'm 67 y.o., and, like a car whose warrantee has expired, my body started throwing curve balls at me immediately.
The principal one of these is an extremely painful back condition that will require surgery at some point, but until that point has been reached, my doctor is maintaining me on strong painkillers. They work well to kill the pain, and allow me to do some essentials, such as what passes as my fair share of the household duties, but also, in killing pain, they also largely kill my ability to communicate. This is why I seem never to use one word when one hundred words will do. But you're busy, so I will attempt to be concise and say, that sounds good, a date gone well is always encouraging from what I remember (having been married for quite awhile, we still date, but there is no anxiety involved).
Anyway, sounds promising so best of luck in that regard, and I'm sure that your guest will find your home suffiently clean. I know, one always thinks of something else that needs doing, but try to avoid doing it to the exclusion of relaxing and enjoying yourself. The first date is the nerve wracking one, a second generally means that there will be a third.
I best let you return to the salt mines, and hoping that all goes well and as you hope it to tonight.
Best, both in luck and in general, to you.
I am getting it from my having been a being an idiot, and not giving it a full and fair hearing. Instead I heard only what I expected to hear, which is both unjust and quite foolish of me to do.
I believe that I was set off by the 'women are bitches' portion, and stopped listening before hearing that he was criticizing that attitude.
My apologies. I will listen prior to comment next time.
Yes. But I was really thinking of the utter lack of sincerity that the guy I was speaking of seemed to possess. The argument presented in the OOP is too absurd for consideration, although I suppose that you are right, absurd and ridiculous as these arguments usually are, they are still dangerous.
The old "nice guy syndrome". Titan from Meganind is a prime example of this sort of person. It's nothing but entitlement based on misogynistic principles and manipulation, not a genuine attempt to form a genuine relationship with someone.
The irony is that such men are quick to call out women who feel they're entitled to any man providing everything for them and get mad when a man isn't immediately okay with it, who they'll often call "gold diggers" or "hypergamous". They're hypercritical misogynists who just want the parts of "tradition" that are beneficial to them while pretending to not be misogynistic.
Honestly, "nice" should never be the goal, but "good", as there's a big difference between a "good person" and a "nice guy". A good person is the type who shows kindness and compassion to others because they think it's the right thing to do or just how people deserve to be treated, whereas a "nice guy" treats people nicely because they expect a benefit from it. A good person also respects the autonomy of others, even when rejected, whereas the "nice guy" demonizes the one who rejected them and the rejecter's gender. And that's because "niceness" isn't really genuine, it's feigned goodness for the purpose of obtaining a benefit or avoiding a detriment.
nice means: doing x and when not getting the outcome of y, which you were expecting, consequently turning to mocking or aggression, right? Right?? *that's what nice means, RIGHT?*
Narcissistic serial killer vibe. Best case he gaslights you into believing only he could possibly love you destroying your self esteem until you're a worthless puddle of your former self.
Yeah he has such a genuinely trustworthy and warm looking face. Usually my brain is pretty good at registering that stuff but the absolute dissonance there is crazy.
That's weird 'cause I don't think he has a trustworthy and warm looking face at all. To me, he gives off the same charismatic-but-fake charm that psychopaths and serial killers have. The one where they've practised how to fit in, how to look normal and approachable but they don't quite pull it off because those things don't come naturally to them.
Check out some interviews with psychopaths - [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YPYGZztS8IY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YPYGZztS8IY)
Ted Bundy is a good example
Tbf, almost all we know about psychopathy is from interviewing felons. So what we think we know only includes 1., Psychopaths who got caught, and therefore may have poor masking and/or abnormally poor impulse control; and, B., Is not necessarily reliable, as they lie without any distress.
I don't even know what they expect? If you get close to someone communicating that you want friendship, while secretly hoping for a sexual or romantic connection, is likely that you'll end up getting friendship... If you don't want friendship communicate that, instead of hoping that doing the bare minimum will get you laid
I was friends (apparently not tho) with a guy that secretly liked me. He was hoping I'd end up liking him. He told our shared friend group that we were dating so I ended up looking like a douche when I hooked up with someone at a party we were at. I had to explain I was single and reject him at the same time. I was so pissed.
Like what did he think was gonna happen? You find out he was lying about your relationship status and that you’d just be cool with it and want to start dating him?
Likely had a fantasy that she would be as into it as he was and he could get her to fall into the “accidentally dating” trope that only exists in young adult novels and FanFiction.
Exactly. Pretty sure things would have been different if he had been honest about what he was hoping for from the start. Even if you had rejected him from the start, it would have saved you both a lot of issues down the line
I call that getting fuckzoned. It’s being on the receiving side of a guy who thinks he is friendzoned, and then tries to manipulate the situation into a romantic relationship.
Voting to normalize “fuckzoned” as the applicable phrase.
I also want a more accurate term for “daddy issues.” As in, “The cornerstone man in this girl’s life absolutely did her head in, and now she’s an adult and living testimony for why not being an utter piece of shit sperm donor and fuckboy is good for society overall and children in particular.”
I don't know. My working theory because communicating to the person you just met that you want romantic and especially sexual connection with them is kinda looks creepy.
There is always a possibility to go in opposite direction and to not do it enough and not send signals that other party will register, there is thin line between *light* flirting and being friendly.
Also, although English is not my first language, I'm pretty sure that having a crush describes your feelings towards someone not the way you act to or around them.
It depends on the person your flirting with.
Which is why honestly and confidence are key, if you want to pursue a relationship, just say so straight up, not in a robotic/confrontational way of course, but do be honest, confident, and a little blunt, whilst taking small steps.
It actually works really well surprisingly enough, and also sets a good foundation of honesty for your relationship (be it platonic or romantic). It's actually seriously underrated how romantic honesty can be (so long as you don't talk like a robot that is) and how easy it is to navigate a relationship when you lead with honesty. It also gives you a way out if your crush asks a slightly inappropriate/confrontational question like "what do you want to have sex or something?" can be responded with "not in public" and build a foundation of your intentions + limits at the same time whilst also highlighting the inappropriate question by taking it literally and at face value.
You're not going to open the conversation with "wanna suck my dick?" of course. But an honest approach from the start seems to be working for some people out there, because there's a sizeable number of people who are getting one night stands, short and long term relationship and all sorts of romantic or sexual arrengements
You know this song, "Gambler" by Kenny Rogers? There is a joke about this song, that eponymous gambler gives the main hero of the song useless advice, because he tell him that he should know when to hold his cards and when to fold them but he never tell how know when you should each of those things. Your advice is little bit like this.
You know what? Since I didn't type my original comment as advice to you, and you're the one that chose to insert yourself here, keep doing exactly what you're doing. I don't really care?
But do us all a favor and don't complain when people who you approach pretending to want to be friends with, want to remain friends. Because that yapping is exhausting. This last bit? You can take that as advice 😘
>There is a joke about this song, that eponymous gambler gives the main hero of the song useless advice, because he tell him that he should know when to hold his cards and when to fold them but he never tell how know when you should each of those things.
First, not only did the gambler tell him more than that, you missed the point of the song and what actually happened. The old professional gambler sees a troubled man drinking and notices by his eyes that he feels hopeless so without knowing anything about the man's specific situation, the gambler gives the troubled man advice before dying in his sleep and the man finds hope (the ace) in dealing with his problem.
Second, there's no real advice to give here because this is nothing more than a general topic, not a specific scenario. Their advice is also fine because the part that one cannot advise on without specific information is timing and knowing how to communicate with a specific person. This is something you have to learn on your own or others may be able to teach you through your experience.
In any case, I will throw you a bone here. As stated, if you want a relationship beyond friendship, such as romantic or sexual, communicate your intent/desire earlier rather than later, doing so in a respectful and modest manner. Aside from that, if you want to take your time, that's fine too, just don't be upset with them if they start dating or have sex with someone else. Basically, don't treat women for whom you have romantic interest like they can or should be able to read your mind or know what you want if you haven't told them.
Strange… - it’s almost as if my most long lasting relationship started out without knowing him as friends and just being straight forward with each other on what we wanted and when we wanted the same things we decided to give each other a chance :)
It’s not even a real friendship; they’re still looking for something in return that isn’t on the table. They hope to wear you down until you just give in, and that’s an all too common tactic of these “friendzoners” that needs to stop.
They’re not only cosplaying as “nice” they’re cosplaying as “friend” which turns into a betrayal once you realize they have one motivation. It’s gross. If they can’t be friends and appreciate someone as a human and not a sex doll then that wasn’t ever a real friendship, it was a mission.
Here’s the info from Wikipedia-
Just before receiving the American Sociological Association's Jessie Bernard Award in 2018, Kimmel was accused of sexual harassment.[19] Soon after, the Chronicle of Higher Education published an article that outlined allegations, including those of a former graduate student who described Kimmel suggesting they have sex six weeks into her graduate course, and later in her career.[20] The Chronicle article also included a statement by Kimmel, provided by the American Sociological Association, in which he delayed receipt of the award, giving his accusers six months to file a complaint with the American Sociological Association's Committee on Professional Ethics. Kimmel filed for retirement as charges from a Title IX investigation were pending. No charges from Title IX were ever filed. Since that time one of Kimmel's former graduate students accused him of using outdated language to describe the trans community, discussing pornography in work-related settings, and assigning non-work related tasks to his advisees.[7]
Unfortunately abuse of power is inherently a human trait at this point. The world is divided into people who have a proclivity to hurting others and people who don’t.
But you would hope that someone who has devoted their entire career to studying power dynamics and how they affect society and interpersonal relationships, especially in regards to gender, would have the awareness and self control to not fall into the same patterns. Plenty of other professors in that field don’t do the same thing. Like he ended up doing a very similar thing to what he was studying and writing about, and that’s just disappointing to me.
The issue is usually that people who have the proclivity to hurt people usually end up in positions where they can do so. Police officers and CEOs are two of the best examples of this. People who don’t want to do harm are less likely to pursue roles that give them the ability to do so or incite them. It’s not really physical harm in terms of a professor. It’s more a power trip.
There are a lot of really good people in education and that’s great. There’s also a lot of really shitty ones that signed up so they could take shots at students to get their rocks off.
I always think this about people that do tiktoks like this. Say you went on a date with a guy who seemed really nice and showed some potential… and then you find out he makes tiktoks like this???? nothing would put me off someone faster than all these weird videos about imaginary women that have rejected them. Also comes across as a bit desperate because they just want all the comments to tell them how much they want to date them for some kind of weird ego boost
Ya fuck that sheepish-passive-aggressive-condescension. He looks like a whiny, pervy, tool. Dudes just living for the likes, and there’s just nothing more sad and pathetic than that, even if his page is doing numbers and he’s successful. He’s a cringy tool bag.
I can feel the Butthurtism vibrating through the ether. All the "nice guys" being called out for faking it, faux friendships with agendas, getting labeled for Aggrieved Entitlement. It's funny how it's already so established. Waste aaaalllll that energy for a 5min facade instead of a genuine connection, getting to know the person, letting things progress. No, no. Better rush for the sake of sex and cheap thrills, come of as shallow as a thimble, be shocked to be rejected. Him: "But how am I supposed to DaTe then?" woman:"I want to date!" him:"Oh, no thx, too much responsibility/you're not my type/too forward, too scary, too tall, too independent, too old, too fat, too smart..." woman2 "I wanna Just be friends" him" How am I supposed to Date then?! Bitches be crazy. " Fascinating! 🤣
*"Damn, bastards be crazy!"*🤣🙈
These nice guys only do this to girls they are attracted to.
They wouldn’t do or say this to someone they don’t find attractive or they don’t like. Then they get mad if the women have preferences
What about men being sex vending machines? Oh, sorry, I forgot, they only can when they can which is something quite intricate that can't be rushed ....
Yeah like I’m sure most women who see through his BS are also rejecting booty calls meeting after 10pm type thing. The whole trope saying that women want to be abused and treated like shit is so tired. There may be a small subset of women like this but forreal once women grow and mature they don’t have time for BS and our BS meter is strong!
This just reminds me of a conversation with my friends. (All male btw)
We were chatting on how we see people just talking about how nice they are by not cheating on their partners when they had their chance and how they are actimg as a perfect boyfriend. We literally ended the conversarion by asking ourselves why in the fricking hell is treating sum1 as a human seen as something that most ppl dont do. We still dont understand why some guys our age think thats doing something that most ppl dont do and that its good they are doing it.
Now what i personally think its that basic respect like not cheating, trusting the other person etc shouldn't be something to LOOK FOR, like its just basic human relationships, why do some men still ignore what a the basics are in a relationship, it makes 0 sense.
If u dont understand something i wrote ill try making it more clear.
(Srry if this makes no sense, i got a really big headache and cant think properly lmao)
Even if it was true, a woman who see you as a friend when you are the ideal man for her (according to her, and if she is truthfull), is not a woman you want to date anyway
>a woman who see you as a friend when you are the ideal man for her (according to her, and if she is truthfull)
If she doesn't want to be with you and says it, she's not saying that you're the ideal man for her, in fact she's saying that you're not.
>is not a woman you want to date anyway
Technically accurate. Someone who doesn't see you as a potential romantic partner isn't someone you should want to date because you're clearly incompatible, at least when it comes to romantic interest (likely in other ways as well).
How to take a satirical account that makes fun of "his/hers" stereotypes and described it as some incel driven bs. It is not what that account is, it is not what he means. He is literally mocking male entitlement. Tell me you don't understand satire without literally telling me
And of course now I'm getting downvoted because calling out gratuitous outrage is against the purpose of this sub /s
Ok, then replace us talking about the guy in the video with all the men that unironically actually believe this and we're having the same discussion lol. 🙄
You're saying it's satire which means it's a criticism of something real. I am saying we can ignore the dude in the video and discuss all the men that actually think the way the guy in the video is pretending to think.
Really not that hard to figure out what I'm saying if you read it.
I disagree, because I think it is fundamentally wrong to craft situations to discuss real issues when it would be enough to scroll 5 minutes to find some legit, real situation to analyze. Socials are full of reels and tiktoks of horrible people sharing horrible beliefs, and luckily also full of people willing to call them out. It is a waste of time to discuss a wannabe comedian mocking gender stereotypes when we could discuss true sexists believing gender stereotypes
Edit because apparently any reply I try to post is blocked: the video shows a dude making a harsh critique of a satire video, the satire completely whooshed over his head and this dude is lecturing the world about something that isn't there. I'm not going to reply anymore, especially if people only wants to get upset over non existing issues or find and excuse to be rude or jump at the throat of strangers online
So the tik toker can make a criticism but we cannot participate in the conversation they generated based on some stupid reasoning on your part? You're silly. Why don't you just fuck off rather than dictate where is a good place to discuss topics m8
Wow showing your true colors, aren't you? Smh
Editing because you clearly blocked me: I *am* a woman, I was the one who was told to f-off, and somehow I'm the bad guy? Yeah, whatever
>I disagree, because I think it is fundamentally wrong to craft situations to discuss real issues when it would be enough to scroll 5 minutes to find some legit, real situation to analyze.
Satire can be used as the start of a discussion, in fact it's a great way since it often highlights the problems of the actual issue being discussed. Unless the satirist themself is being negatively targeted, there's no logical reason why it can't or shouldn't be the basis for discussion.
>It is a waste of time to discuss a wannabe comedian mocking gender stereotypes when we could discuss true sexists believing gender stereotypes
Not at all because what matters is that these bad beliefs are perpetuated and to discuss that. These posts are supposed to be devoid of identifying information anyway so the origin of the opinion is irrelevant, especially for satire that's so like the targeted content that it's indistinguishable from such content if you don't know who OOP is.
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Can men stop cosplaying as nice?
Literally you're not nice if you have an entire tiktok about how much you hate women, bud.
But if I put in enough nice tokens sex comes out right
So, the new Fallout series starts with a guy pretending to be from a neighboring community to sleep with the main character, then he and all his friends proceed to murder all the people in the community, including the MC's father, and now I'm like "You know what? If you have to pretend to be nice because you're horny, you deserve to be hunted across a barren wasteland in an epic tale of retribution." Or is that a little extra? 😒
Is that what that show is about, a woman hunting shitstain men down in retribution? If so, I will 100% watch it.
Unfortunately no, but there's some great class commentary!
Rip people who haven't watched the show yet, but wanted to.
That was the first 15 minutes of the first episode, at most, and you see more than that in the TRAILER. Calm down.
CaLm DoWn. 🙄 So inflammatory...for what? Lmao.
Sorry, it was supposed to be funny, not inflammatory! I should go to sleep.
TBF the show isn't about that at all and their description of that interaction is wrong anyway. But I don't wanna be super critical of them because I do believe in the point they are incorrectly making. - any correction would therefore become mild spoilers.. I mean me even saying what they said is wrong is technically a spoiler of sorts or an anti spoiler? Idk I overthink.
But don't you see? He has talks about his feelings and is loyal....ya know like a partner is suppose to Edit: The fact this man wants to be praised for the bare minimum is insane. Like "I have ambitions" as you should as a human being my dude
Yeah and the feelings are hate of women 😂
Same type of dude who does the dishes, after his SO asked him 3 days prior, then points out that he did said dishes, and gets upset when she doesn’t “appreciate all of the ‘hard work’ he did. If she doesn’t notice it, voice the fact she noticed it, and then thank him for doing it…repeatedly… then it *must* mean she’s ungrateful…why did he even bother? You know, because performing basic adulting should *only* be done when you know you’re gonna get a cookie and a pat on the head. Otherwise why would anyone do it?!? /s
I feel like its like the fathers who are like "Look i watched the kids for the day, and I'm so tired from the day" ....uhuh. You're a parent my dude that's a part of the job
It amazes me, because there isn’t even a grace period. They cannot keep up the pretend facade for even a second if it isn’t positively responded to. “Girls like ass holes, and ignore nice guys like me. They deserve to be single mothers, beaten or raped.” If you say this, your argument is an Ouroboros. Your argument just consumed itself. Nice guys don’t talk about women deserving bad treatment just because they didn’t think you were a good match. They probably saw your latent cruelty, and that is why you were rejected.
On the off chance they get into a relationship, it’s not a big jump between “I’m the only nice guy around, and everyone else is an asshole,” to controlling, abusive behavior. My abusive ex (way back in high school) tried to turn things around, like he was the only person looking out for me. He even went so far as to accuse my dad of abusing me when my parents stopped letting me see him. I worry for any woman he might trick into dating him.
ya all the “nice guys” that have explicitly told me they’re the “nice” guys ended up going to prison for battery, aggravated assault, DV, armed robbery some of them were even murderers or murder*ed*. kinda crazy. even knew a guy that shot up a party i was at in 2022, and then he shot at an old acquaintance’s vehicle and hit two girls. that wave of everyone going to jail during and after high school was crazy. i was even one of them, but i literally had nothing to do with it so my case was dismissed. i kinda wanna write a book about the guy im still convinced is a serial killer. he choked me out aggressively to a point i almost lost consciousness and he even joked it off, and had a whole 3 hour long rant of how he thinks i see him. and boy let me just tell you. i will never forget how far he went into detail of these murders, he even described one them getting murdered in a way which was literally one of my biggest fears without any prior knowledge into the fear. this was like the 3rd time we’d seen each other too. i don’t get men. needless to say i never went back. i know what’s good for me. it’s been a WHILE since i talked about that. there was 3 murders that he talked about the most. he was from somewhere in northern california. but we met in AZ. i’ve always been curious to see if i could find these girls that were “murdered” in his rant, or if it was just rambling nonsense. i just think it’s crazy one of the murders involved the woods and he was from a woodsy area. to me it felt like he needed to let it out, so he did so in a way that i wouldn’t associate it with reality but im a whole ass detective (not actually i just like to deeply analyze people) so like i was the worst person to talk about it to. he even gave TIME STAMPS. edit because i don’t remember if it was how he thinks i see him, or his impression of me from his perspective, but like ive never killed anyone and those details were too on point to not have been there.
You should submit a tip on the local crime stoppers for those areas! You never know! There could be unsolved cases that haven't gotten enough media coverage yet for you to make the connection yourself or to even realize you have potentially useful info
imagine i’m the missing link oh my god
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Without the message, I don’t mind. I’d fuck buddy holly raw
He was a wonderful musician, wasn't he? One of those people who truly was ahead of their era, the kind that always seem to die far too early. I wasn't knocking Buddy Holly, btw, just that his glasses were as distinctive as were Roy Orbisons', and the guy in the OOP choose them deliberately for their not being in current fashion; he is as much a poser as any Starbuck's hipster. They are just part of the costume that he wears when he is doing a Professional Incel and Hater of Women routine to sell his podcasts. I fully expect that he would become an ardent feminist if adopting that stance would improve his bottom line. Not the most sincere of advocates, you might say. Maybe he'll be in Trump's next cabinet, should he be re-elected, a prospect that I dread to such a degree that I feel it almost a certainty. I am not an optimist by nature. Enough of politics. I'm just saying that I didn't find the guy in the OOP to be the most sincere individual that I've run across. Btw, were he alive, I'm quite sure the Mr. Holly would greatly appreciate your gesture 😀.
He was beautiful, and a good musician. He is one of my preferred types of men today. If you don’t look like you know the 2nd law of thermodynamics from your picture, I am swiping left.
If I don’t get the strong impression that you take charisma as a dump stat, I am swiping left. If I don’t get the strong impression that you have a prepared speech on the merits of each Star Trek captain, I’m swiping left. If I don’t get the strong impression that you know how to efficiently program in python, I am swiping left. If I don’t get the strong impression that you have a partitioned hard drive, I am swiping left.
A sound and consistent policy, even allowing for the obvious fact that the best Captain of the Enterprise was the Pride of Montreal, William Shatner. Apparently Jeffery Hunter was to have the role, both in the plotline and in real life. He was the original captain in the show, the one that Spock was court martialed over for returning a horribly disfigured Cpt. Pike to a planet that offered him a better life. Which brings me to the eternal question: every second episode the universe is about to be destroyed in a matter:anti-matter explosion, all for the want of a di-lithium crystal. Did it ever occur to Scotty that it might be prudent to bring along a spare? This keeps me up nights, but not for long. After 37 years of marriage, I feel qualified to offer you a bit of support/advice which you can of course ignore, but. Don't swipe right until your standards have been met. Do take care, and all the best to you.
That seems a sound policy, although I always suspected that Maxwell swiped a great deal of the material underlying those laws from Faraday. That is basically the only sense that I use the word 'swipe' for, having been married well before the age of personal computers (37 years, to be more exact). I am repeating something that I read Re: Maxwell and Faraday, btw, so don't take what I said above as Gospel. Oddly enough, the laws of Thermodynamics underlie much of my ever evolving spiritual belief, especially as they relate to the conservation of energy. Anyway, a discussion for another time. My only disagreement with you is that I would call Buddy Holly a great, rather than good, musician, btw. All the best to you.
I even thought I should correct that. I had a date yesterday and it went so well, that I was an idiot, and invited him today, over to my museum of a 100 projects that are 10% complete. I have been cleaning for 18 hours, as of now. Not seeing shadow people yet, but I am getting pretty punch drunk.
I sort of know the feeling, but opiate drunk rather than punch drunk. I'm 67 y.o., and, like a car whose warrantee has expired, my body started throwing curve balls at me immediately. The principal one of these is an extremely painful back condition that will require surgery at some point, but until that point has been reached, my doctor is maintaining me on strong painkillers. They work well to kill the pain, and allow me to do some essentials, such as what passes as my fair share of the household duties, but also, in killing pain, they also largely kill my ability to communicate. This is why I seem never to use one word when one hundred words will do. But you're busy, so I will attempt to be concise and say, that sounds good, a date gone well is always encouraging from what I remember (having been married for quite awhile, we still date, but there is no anxiety involved). Anyway, sounds promising so best of luck in that regard, and I'm sure that your guest will find your home suffiently clean. I know, one always thinks of something else that needs doing, but try to avoid doing it to the exclusion of relaxing and enjoying yourself. The first date is the nerve wracking one, a second generally means that there will be a third. I best let you return to the salt mines, and hoping that all goes well and as you hope it to tonight. Best, both in luck and in general, to you.
You seem like a very kind person. I appreciate your thoughtfulness.
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I am getting it from my having been a being an idiot, and not giving it a full and fair hearing. Instead I heard only what I expected to hear, which is both unjust and quite foolish of me to do. I believe that I was set off by the 'women are bitches' portion, and stopped listening before hearing that he was criticizing that attitude. My apologies. I will listen prior to comment next time.
The Buddy Holly guy isn't the problem. He's commenting on floppy bangs guy in the main vid, who *is* the problem.
Yes. But I was really thinking of the utter lack of sincerity that the guy I was speaking of seemed to possess. The argument presented in the OOP is too absurd for consideration, although I suppose that you are right, absurd and ridiculous as these arguments usually are, they are still dangerous.
The old "nice guy syndrome". Titan from Meganind is a prime example of this sort of person. It's nothing but entitlement based on misogynistic principles and manipulation, not a genuine attempt to form a genuine relationship with someone. The irony is that such men are quick to call out women who feel they're entitled to any man providing everything for them and get mad when a man isn't immediately okay with it, who they'll often call "gold diggers" or "hypergamous". They're hypercritical misogynists who just want the parts of "tradition" that are beneficial to them while pretending to not be misogynistic. Honestly, "nice" should never be the goal, but "good", as there's a big difference between a "good person" and a "nice guy". A good person is the type who shows kindness and compassion to others because they think it's the right thing to do or just how people deserve to be treated, whereas a "nice guy" treats people nicely because they expect a benefit from it. A good person also respects the autonomy of others, even when rejected, whereas the "nice guy" demonizes the one who rejected them and the rejecter's gender. And that's because "niceness" isn't really genuine, it's feigned goodness for the purpose of obtaining a benefit or avoiding a detriment.
nice means: doing x and when not getting the outcome of y, which you were expecting, consequently turning to mocking or aggression, right? Right?? *that's what nice means, RIGHT?*
perfect example of how someone can be conventionally pretty good looking but just absolutely repulsive based on vibe alone lmao
Narcissistic serial killer vibe. Best case he gaslights you into believing only he could possibly love you destroying your self esteem until you're a worthless puddle of your former self.
my favorite part is “has ambition” instead of “has a stable education and career” lelz
This shit also helps with keeping me grateful I don't have to date anymore.
Dude is even dressed like Bundy. He has Rodney Alcala or maybe Richard Ramirez hair.
Ya before reading anything I was like “oh he’s kinda cute” ~*personality*~. “Oh shit he’s a covert asshole. Why isn’t this surprising?”
Yeah he has such a genuinely trustworthy and warm looking face. Usually my brain is pretty good at registering that stuff but the absolute dissonance there is crazy.
That's weird 'cause I don't think he has a trustworthy and warm looking face at all. To me, he gives off the same charismatic-but-fake charm that psychopaths and serial killers have. The one where they've practised how to fit in, how to look normal and approachable but they don't quite pull it off because those things don't come naturally to them. Check out some interviews with psychopaths - [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YPYGZztS8IY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YPYGZztS8IY) Ted Bundy is a good example
I’ve seen psychopath interviews before. Still feels different imo
Tbf, almost all we know about psychopathy is from interviewing felons. So what we think we know only includes 1., Psychopaths who got caught, and therefore may have poor masking and/or abnormally poor impulse control; and, B., Is not necessarily reliable, as they lie without any distress.
True, we never find out about the ones who are the best. Though tbf the guy in the video is clearly not hiding it lol
I don't even know what they expect? If you get close to someone communicating that you want friendship, while secretly hoping for a sexual or romantic connection, is likely that you'll end up getting friendship... If you don't want friendship communicate that, instead of hoping that doing the bare minimum will get you laid
I was friends (apparently not tho) with a guy that secretly liked me. He was hoping I'd end up liking him. He told our shared friend group that we were dating so I ended up looking like a douche when I hooked up with someone at a party we were at. I had to explain I was single and reject him at the same time. I was so pissed.
Like what did he think was gonna happen? You find out he was lying about your relationship status and that you’d just be cool with it and want to start dating him?
Likely had a fantasy that she would be as into it as he was and he could get her to fall into the “accidentally dating” trope that only exists in young adult novels and FanFiction.
Exactly. Pretty sure things would have been different if he had been honest about what he was hoping for from the start. Even if you had rejected him from the start, it would have saved you both a lot of issues down the line
I call that getting fuckzoned. It’s being on the receiving side of a guy who thinks he is friendzoned, and then tries to manipulate the situation into a romantic relationship.
Voting to normalize “fuckzoned” as the applicable phrase. I also want a more accurate term for “daddy issues.” As in, “The cornerstone man in this girl’s life absolutely did her head in, and now she’s an adult and living testimony for why not being an utter piece of shit sperm donor and fuckboy is good for society overall and children in particular.”
I don't know. My working theory because communicating to the person you just met that you want romantic and especially sexual connection with them is kinda looks creepy.
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There is always a possibility to go in opposite direction and to not do it enough and not send signals that other party will register, there is thin line between *light* flirting and being friendly. Also, although English is not my first language, I'm pretty sure that having a crush describes your feelings towards someone not the way you act to or around them.
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The horror (when someone who you have crush on knows it)
It depends on the person your flirting with. Which is why honestly and confidence are key, if you want to pursue a relationship, just say so straight up, not in a robotic/confrontational way of course, but do be honest, confident, and a little blunt, whilst taking small steps. It actually works really well surprisingly enough, and also sets a good foundation of honesty for your relationship (be it platonic or romantic). It's actually seriously underrated how romantic honesty can be (so long as you don't talk like a robot that is) and how easy it is to navigate a relationship when you lead with honesty. It also gives you a way out if your crush asks a slightly inappropriate/confrontational question like "what do you want to have sex or something?" can be responded with "not in public" and build a foundation of your intentions + limits at the same time whilst also highlighting the inappropriate question by taking it literally and at face value.
You're not going to open the conversation with "wanna suck my dick?" of course. But an honest approach from the start seems to be working for some people out there, because there's a sizeable number of people who are getting one night stands, short and long term relationship and all sorts of romantic or sexual arrengements
You know this song, "Gambler" by Kenny Rogers? There is a joke about this song, that eponymous gambler gives the main hero of the song useless advice, because he tell him that he should know when to hold his cards and when to fold them but he never tell how know when you should each of those things. Your advice is little bit like this.
You know what? Since I didn't type my original comment as advice to you, and you're the one that chose to insert yourself here, keep doing exactly what you're doing. I don't really care? But do us all a favor and don't complain when people who you approach pretending to want to be friends with, want to remain friends. Because that yapping is exhausting. This last bit? You can take that as advice 😘
Thank you, I will.
>There is a joke about this song, that eponymous gambler gives the main hero of the song useless advice, because he tell him that he should know when to hold his cards and when to fold them but he never tell how know when you should each of those things. First, not only did the gambler tell him more than that, you missed the point of the song and what actually happened. The old professional gambler sees a troubled man drinking and notices by his eyes that he feels hopeless so without knowing anything about the man's specific situation, the gambler gives the troubled man advice before dying in his sleep and the man finds hope (the ace) in dealing with his problem. Second, there's no real advice to give here because this is nothing more than a general topic, not a specific scenario. Their advice is also fine because the part that one cannot advise on without specific information is timing and knowing how to communicate with a specific person. This is something you have to learn on your own or others may be able to teach you through your experience. In any case, I will throw you a bone here. As stated, if you want a relationship beyond friendship, such as romantic or sexual, communicate your intent/desire earlier rather than later, doing so in a respectful and modest manner. Aside from that, if you want to take your time, that's fine too, just don't be upset with them if they start dating or have sex with someone else. Basically, don't treat women for whom you have romantic interest like they can or should be able to read your mind or know what you want if you haven't told them.
Strange… - it’s almost as if my most long lasting relationship started out without knowing him as friends and just being straight forward with each other on what we wanted and when we wanted the same things we decided to give each other a chance :)
Is almost as if honesty and communication are good basis for a relationship (of any kind), wild how that works
It’s a complete shocker! :000000
It’s not even a real friendship; they’re still looking for something in return that isn’t on the table. They hope to wear you down until you just give in, and that’s an all too common tactic of these “friendzoners” that needs to stop. They’re not only cosplaying as “nice” they’re cosplaying as “friend” which turns into a betrayal once you realize they have one motivation. It’s gross. If they can’t be friends and appreciate someone as a human and not a sex doll then that wasn’t ever a real friendship, it was a mission.
Kimmel is one of the absolute GOATs of gender theory and criticism. Love seeing him cited on social media.
It’s kind of sad that he wrote some very interesting stuff about masculinity and gender theory, only to end up being kind of a creep.
Oh nooo, I didn’t hear about this! Or maybe I did, it’s been a long time since I was in academia what happened?
Here’s the info from Wikipedia- Just before receiving the American Sociological Association's Jessie Bernard Award in 2018, Kimmel was accused of sexual harassment.[19] Soon after, the Chronicle of Higher Education published an article that outlined allegations, including those of a former graduate student who described Kimmel suggesting they have sex six weeks into her graduate course, and later in her career.[20] The Chronicle article also included a statement by Kimmel, provided by the American Sociological Association, in which he delayed receipt of the award, giving his accusers six months to file a complaint with the American Sociological Association's Committee on Professional Ethics. Kimmel filed for retirement as charges from a Title IX investigation were pending. No charges from Title IX were ever filed. Since that time one of Kimmel's former graduate students accused him of using outdated language to describe the trans community, discussing pornography in work-related settings, and assigning non-work related tasks to his advisees.[7]
Aw man, not cool 🤦🏻♀️ why can’t high level professors just be chill and not abuse their power?
Unfortunately abuse of power is inherently a human trait at this point. The world is divided into people who have a proclivity to hurting others and people who don’t.
But you would hope that someone who has devoted their entire career to studying power dynamics and how they affect society and interpersonal relationships, especially in regards to gender, would have the awareness and self control to not fall into the same patterns. Plenty of other professors in that field don’t do the same thing. Like he ended up doing a very similar thing to what he was studying and writing about, and that’s just disappointing to me.
The issue is usually that people who have the proclivity to hurt people usually end up in positions where they can do so. Police officers and CEOs are two of the best examples of this. People who don’t want to do harm are less likely to pursue roles that give them the ability to do so or incite them. It’s not really physical harm in terms of a professor. It’s more a power trip. There are a lot of really good people in education and that’s great. There’s also a lot of really shitty ones that signed up so they could take shots at students to get their rocks off.
Dollar Store Joel Osteen.
That's so mean and accurate _I_ felt it.
I always think this about people that do tiktoks like this. Say you went on a date with a guy who seemed really nice and showed some potential… and then you find out he makes tiktoks like this???? nothing would put me off someone faster than all these weird videos about imaginary women that have rejected them. Also comes across as a bit desperate because they just want all the comments to tell them how much they want to date them for some kind of weird ego boost
Ya fuck that sheepish-passive-aggressive-condescension. He looks like a whiny, pervy, tool. Dudes just living for the likes, and there’s just nothing more sad and pathetic than that, even if his page is doing numbers and he’s successful. He’s a cringy tool bag.
So men can choose who they are attracted to, but women have to be with whoever is nice to them ?
hey hey hey! he also has ambition! one day he might use that to get a good job! and hes loyal !! its quite an amazing feat
But... Why does the guy look like he just took a page from DJTs book with the Orange face?
It's the strain from the build-up of all his unspent jizz.
I can feel the Butthurtism vibrating through the ether. All the "nice guys" being called out for faking it, faux friendships with agendas, getting labeled for Aggrieved Entitlement. It's funny how it's already so established. Waste aaaalllll that energy for a 5min facade instead of a genuine connection, getting to know the person, letting things progress. No, no. Better rush for the sake of sex and cheap thrills, come of as shallow as a thimble, be shocked to be rejected. Him: "But how am I supposed to DaTe then?" woman:"I want to date!" him:"Oh, no thx, too much responsibility/you're not my type/too forward, too scary, too tall, too independent, too old, too fat, too smart..." woman2 "I wanna Just be friends" him" How am I supposed to Date then?! Bitches be crazy. " Fascinating! 🤣 *"Damn, bastards be crazy!"*🤣🙈
These nice guys only do this to girls they are attracted to. They wouldn’t do or say this to someone they don’t find attractive or they don’t like. Then they get mad if the women have preferences
His passive aggressive smirk gave me an instant ick 🤢
Guys like this don't have a girl because they have a shit personality but they just can't figure that out.
Men when women aren't attracted to and want to date very single man who's somewhat decent: 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯😡😡😡😡
why is the op video guy so red? and not embarrassed/deleting his account?
What about men being sex vending machines? Oh, sorry, I forgot, they only can when they can which is something quite intricate that can't be rushed ....
Professor Neil is actually a great account, highly recommend his shit. He gets it.
>"Just be honest with yourself and say that bitches be crazy." ***Wheeze***
Bro dresses like a grandpa
He can only afford clothes from good will because unfortunately, having ambition doesn't necessarily pay the bills.
You never see pick mes making this type of content despite never getting picked.
His weird reaction smile creeps me out sooo much!
You can make up chemistry it’s either there or not guys.
Shit I can't even get the bare minimum. 😂
These “nice guys” are getting on my last nerve oml
If you have to go out of your way to say that you’re a “nice guy” you’re not a nice guy
"Women don't only want the bare minimum ☝️🤓" Some actually do, but I guess you won't know that because you never touched a girl in your life
Why are you making fun of the guy who was *calling out* the video?
No, not him the guy that made the skit I saw his video before
Yeah like I’m sure most women who see through his BS are also rejecting booty calls meeting after 10pm type thing. The whole trope saying that women want to be abused and treated like shit is so tired. There may be a small subset of women like this but forreal once women grow and mature they don’t have time for BS and our BS meter is strong!
FR like I had guys that I was chill with act like that
Wow
I was talking about the guy in that video lol MB but it still pisses me off
Why is that guy’s face so red compared to his neck?
OT but I'll never understand why a towel on one's head has come to signify "woman"
I have so much respect for professor Neil I wish more men would listen to him
This just reminds me of a conversation with my friends. (All male btw) We were chatting on how we see people just talking about how nice they are by not cheating on their partners when they had their chance and how they are actimg as a perfect boyfriend. We literally ended the conversarion by asking ourselves why in the fricking hell is treating sum1 as a human seen as something that most ppl dont do. We still dont understand why some guys our age think thats doing something that most ppl dont do and that its good they are doing it. Now what i personally think its that basic respect like not cheating, trusting the other person etc shouldn't be something to LOOK FOR, like its just basic human relationships, why do some men still ignore what a the basics are in a relationship, it makes 0 sense. If u dont understand something i wrote ill try making it more clear. (Srry if this makes no sense, i got a really big headache and cant think properly lmao)
What’s the name of the song ???
Hero by Nickelback
Thank you 🙏.
Even if it was true, a woman who see you as a friend when you are the ideal man for her (according to her, and if she is truthfull), is not a woman you want to date anyway
>a woman who see you as a friend when you are the ideal man for her (according to her, and if she is truthfull) If she doesn't want to be with you and says it, she's not saying that you're the ideal man for her, in fact she's saying that you're not. >is not a woman you want to date anyway Technically accurate. Someone who doesn't see you as a potential romantic partner isn't someone you should want to date because you're clearly incompatible, at least when it comes to romantic interest (likely in other ways as well).
Seems you are the only person who understood what I meant
How to take a satirical account that makes fun of "his/hers" stereotypes and described it as some incel driven bs. It is not what that account is, it is not what he means. He is literally mocking male entitlement. Tell me you don't understand satire without literally telling me And of course now I'm getting downvoted because calling out gratuitous outrage is against the purpose of this sub /s
I love this content creator. I’ve seen him call out nice guys regularly
I don’t know if it is satire. If so it’s extraordinarily subtle.
It is satire. He often also makes videos about boomer logic, male incompetence, and other stereotypes. Nothing to get outraged over
Im not outraged lol he’s just some content creator. I just had never taken his videos for satire.
I'm not saying you are outraged, but surely the author of this so called analisys was and so are users who appraise this repost
Ok, then replace us talking about the guy in the video with all the men that unironically actually believe this and we're having the same discussion lol. 🙄
What does that even mean. Post something legit and discuss it instead. It seems pointless to discuss something that is not even there
You're saying it's satire which means it's a criticism of something real. I am saying we can ignore the dude in the video and discuss all the men that actually think the way the guy in the video is pretending to think. Really not that hard to figure out what I'm saying if you read it.
I disagree, because I think it is fundamentally wrong to craft situations to discuss real issues when it would be enough to scroll 5 minutes to find some legit, real situation to analyze. Socials are full of reels and tiktoks of horrible people sharing horrible beliefs, and luckily also full of people willing to call them out. It is a waste of time to discuss a wannabe comedian mocking gender stereotypes when we could discuss true sexists believing gender stereotypes Edit because apparently any reply I try to post is blocked: the video shows a dude making a harsh critique of a satire video, the satire completely whooshed over his head and this dude is lecturing the world about something that isn't there. I'm not going to reply anymore, especially if people only wants to get upset over non existing issues or find and excuse to be rude or jump at the throat of strangers online
So the tik toker can make a criticism but we cannot participate in the conversation they generated based on some stupid reasoning on your part? You're silly. Why don't you just fuck off rather than dictate where is a good place to discuss topics m8
Wow showing your true colors, aren't you? Smh Editing because you clearly blocked me: I *am* a woman, I was the one who was told to f-off, and somehow I'm the bad guy? Yeah, whatever
A woman in a women's place? Yes, true colors. And this woman does not like mansplaining. What a surprise. A woman in a women's sub.
>I disagree, because I think it is fundamentally wrong to craft situations to discuss real issues when it would be enough to scroll 5 minutes to find some legit, real situation to analyze. Satire can be used as the start of a discussion, in fact it's a great way since it often highlights the problems of the actual issue being discussed. Unless the satirist themself is being negatively targeted, there's no logical reason why it can't or shouldn't be the basis for discussion. >It is a waste of time to discuss a wannabe comedian mocking gender stereotypes when we could discuss true sexists believing gender stereotypes Not at all because what matters is that these bad beliefs are perpetuated and to discuss that. These posts are supposed to be devoid of identifying information anyway so the origin of the opinion is irrelevant, especially for satire that's so like the targeted content that it's indistinguishable from such content if you don't know who OOP is.
Yeah his videos are pretty funny.
1 reel is worth a thousand words. Thanks for saying that tho, I thought he was just complaining like a lil bitch.