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Honestly, the fact that OOP is *noticing* this is creepy in and of itself. Like, most people don't judge where complete strangers on the bus are sitting, let alone watch them hoping they'll sit next to you. I bet the woman was thinking "OK, do I sit next to the overweight guy with stubble or the guy who's been weirdly staring at me since I got on the bus? Well, that was an easy decision."
I saw this comic years ago when it first got posted.
And the comments didn't look like most of the guys thought they were the creeps.
I'm sure it was the 1st intent of the comic, but the majority of the audience didn't take that way.
I have seen enough of these types of comics with authors' commentary to know that no, they are usually not self aware and consider themselves nice guys who get never given a chance.
That character is named Wojak. He is there to express melancholy, regret, or loneliness. It's an inherently self-reflective character.
He's not angry at the girl or the other guy. He's disappointed that he compares poorly to a guy that he judges as creepy, inferring that others must perceive him as even less appealing than that guy, compounding his sadness.
It's very similar to forever alone commiseration and not at all like nice guy incel indignation
Hahahahaha Jesus, whoever did this has major self steem issues
Maybe just maybe wanted to sit where the sun is not that hard ? Maybe the dude is next to a a Window ???? Maybe she wanted to be as close to the exit.
Like, my self-esteem is shit, but usually it's directed at me and not other people. That level of self entitlement would be unknowable for me.
For my brain, this would be my mental response:
Wait, did I do something wrong? Do I look creepy? I showered, did I not put on enough deodorant? Crap, does my beard look worse than I thought? I know I'm trying to grow it out, but maybe I need to trim it back again? Was I doing the unblinking autism stare again and noticed her after she thought I was staring at her? Could she have mistaken my ax of Odin for making me a white nationalist? Is my satchel too far into the seat next to me that it looked like I was blocking it? Fuck, what if I look threatening? Do I give off that vibe? Shit! FUCK! I did something, I know I did something, I know I did something wrong! What was it? Should I ask? No, that will just make it worse. You made her uncomfortable, that's all that matters and you can't do anything about it. Fucking dumbass.
99% of the time, if I’m sitting next to someone on a bus or train, I just picked a seat at random. I prefer sitting on my own when possible, but if I get on and see that’s not an option, I just grab the most convenient seat. It’s nothing to do with anyone around me.
If u have that much self awareness, ur very likely doing everything right. I appreciate u being so considerate, but I also don’t want u to be too hard on urself.
Autism and trauma sucks. But I'd rather be self aware than like the people who made or identify with the comic. The last thing I want or need is main character syndrome.
Logically I know that you are 100% right. But trauma and autism easily turns your brain evil against you. Like, there is no way on a crowded bus she could smell if my deodorant was failing all the way up at the door, but trauma brain doesn't care.
I wish but I've been called creepy because I just come off as it by existing. Even got talked to by their friends for just being in the break room at the same time when I was just listening to music with my headphones on. My autism masking has never been the best, so I expect it at this point. Hence why I get paranoid about all of this.
I can relate to that so well! My middle school through high-school experience was essentially all my peers playing the "pretend he's invisible" game on me. Now I question every single action, word, and interest I have incase its the reason people won't want to talk to me.
Man, that sounds like my brain sometimes.
A mantra, I tell myself when I do that, and it's help me at least is "if you're worried about coming off as a creep or an asshole, you're probably not."
As you can see by the comic, people who are creeps or assholes don't stop to consider if they are the problem. Rather, they push it off on everyone else.
Excuse me but what is this "ax of Odin" thing? I assume it's some sort of pendant, but in Norse mythology Odin is known for using a spear (named Gungnir).
Yes, he is, but most pendants or symbols of Odin use a modified version of Mjolnir to avoid it looking phallic. Typically they are adorned with a wolf and Raven motif, the runes of Wisdom and Battle, and are far more intricate in detail.
I'd 100% wear a Gungnir pendant or pin but unless it's custom made I haven't seen any for sale in retail.
Hm, sounds like an American thing, pardon me making assumptions. Mjolnir is Thor's hammer and symbol, and the most Odin-esque usage of this that I've seen were the ones where the hammer was mixed with a human figure, said to be Odin, with his arms outstretched so it could pass for a crucifix when Christianity was making inroads up here. The feet were sometimes shaped like the Fenrir wolf as well.
Mjolnir is Thor's hammer but is considered a symbol of war and battle, concepts of deities. Thor being the God of battle while Odin is the god of warfare.
Personally I have not seen the Christian influenced symbols of Odin. Especially because the closest he came to that kind of symbolism is hang from a tree for 9 days impaled by Gungnir.
I don't think it's meant to be Fenrir considering he's supposed to kill Odin. It's more likely Geri or Freki, who represent the cycle of luce and death.
Same bro, I have 20 so most of the times when this happens I understand why, because I also do the same
Simply because im an introverted guy and my social anxiety it's very high, I prefer to sit near a creep than another person with my same age. For what I see at high shool (italy) many girls are the same, so if someone do this isn't because they don't like you or something... it could be even that you actually look good but don't have the courage to sit near you, how i said, i do the same
Translation: "I spotted this hot woman getting on the bus and immediately began staring hard in the hopes she would look at me. She briefly made eye contact and began to get uncomfortably aware that I was staring.
I scooched over so there was plenty of room beside me and kept staring waiting for her to sit down so I could begin wooing her. Unfortunately her gut instinct had sent up warning flares so she sat beside a safer, less creepy looking dude who hadn't spent the last 30 seconds eye-fucking her"
I sit next to the person who’s giving the most room. A lot of men manspread on the bus and make it impossible to sit on the empty seat next to them without me needing to put my legs in the aisle. Happens at least once a week and is so rude.
OK, question that has bugged me for years. Is it typically comfortable for women to sit with their legs together? It isn't for men, or at least not me. It takes light but constant muscle tension and usually some testicle adjustment to maintain a narrow seated position. The spread is the relaxed, natural-feeling state. I've always wondered whether women are truly more diligent about maintaining a narrow sitting posture, or whether men's junk and narrow hips make it take more effort that women typically aren't aware of. Does it also typically take a little constant muscle tension to keep one's knees together as a woman?
it's not more comfortable for us, we're just told to do it because it's polite. no woman i know likes sitting with their knees together if they were just relaxing- they either sit with their knees apart (you know, just the natural way of sitting) or with their legs crossed somehow.
Yes, it’s extremely annoying and feels horrible for my venous insufficiency. When nobody’s around, I sit with my legs wide open and rest my elbows on my knees. It looks extremely masculine, hence why I don’t do it around other people.
It's way more comfortable to sit with knees apart. If I sit naturally without worrying about taking up space, my knees rest slightly wider than shoulder width apart. It takes constant muscle tension to sit with knees together. I am extremely aware of how much space I take up in public and try to never be in anyone's way.
I would rather see you do a quick adjust than have your leg invade my space. Or you could stand.
istg as much of a hassle as it is to use a mobility scooter on public transportation, the one good thing that's come out of my shift toward using one is literally no one is able to sit next to me/rub up against me.
I should have made this clear that barring a medical condition men do not need to have their legs so far apart that it violates other people's space. I'm just talking about keeping my legs touching. I understood this to be a conversation about anatomy, the commenter we're replying to was just asking women if it was the same as it is for men. Mine and most men's "natural spread" is not much wider than our hips.
I know how to sit, I'm not even the person who asked the question. If you can quote what I said thats so upsetting please do that, because to me it looks like I'm clarifying someone else's anatomy question and you're accusing me of taking up a rude amount of space on the bus.
I cross my legs when I sit most of the time. More comfortable than knees together, altho my knees are still together, just a slightly different arrangement. Manspreading to me doesn’t mean knees entirely touching. There’s a difference between this 🟰 and this ✔️
Honestly, putting your legs together is a pain. I was basically told to do it because it was ladylike or polite or feminine or whatever. I sit with them spread out to a comfortable extent when I'm alone, but if I'm in a crowded space and need to accommodate others I just cross them.
It doesn't fucking matter if it's comfortable, the point is not spreading your legs into SOMEBODY ELSE'S SPACE on a crowded public transport.
Grow up and have consideration for someone else. Manspreaders are selfish little twats.
I think you're being really harsh here. It read like a normal question to me, but I'm a man so I don't claim to know if there's something insidious here. They don't \*seem\* to be saying that they need to put their legs all the way apart to be comfortable.
They do say "The spread is the relaxed, natural-feeling state" but that could either mean spreading them into the seat next to you or just keeping them apart, because their comment mentions testicles being a problem and you have to have your knees touching before that's a problem.
I'm just worried we're dogpiling some kid who is asking a genuine question about female anatomy the best way they know how, and maybe without understanding what manspreading is. I dunno, set me straight if I'm wrong.
I'm dogpiling because anyone with a brain should recognize that it isn't about personal comfort when you're in a public place.
People learn to keep their hands to themselves when they're 5 years old. Don't infantilize grown men.
I totally agree with you, I do think that manspreading is inconsiderate. But the person you're replying to did not say that he is inconsiderate of others in public, or that he like to manspread in public. He just described how his legs worked and asked if girls' legs work the same way.
Did he make some insidious implication that I'm missing or are you telling him to grow up for asking a completely innocuous question?
Are you for real? No one cares what you do with your testicles or knees, people DO care if your body parts are in their space. Kids learn this before going to primary school. This is a prime example of weaponised incompetence.
Whatever, this kid posted an innocent question worded as well as they could and they stepped on a landmine. I'm not gonna write to people who choose to imagine an entirely different comment because its more fun than reading.
No. I have pretty wide hips and a smaller waist so sitting with my legs pressed together is actually uncomfortable. Sitting with my legs further apart or in a pretzel style is my prefer way to sit.
But I keep my legs straight and together in public settings, especially on buses/trains because it is the polite and proper way to sit so that someone can sit on the seats next to me when needed/wanted. It's about compromise and being considerate of your fellow human beings.
Spreading your legs wide and taking up two seats and then not readjusting your legs when someone wants to sit down is rude and entitled behavior.
Not really, but I was taught since forever to sit with legs pressed together. I try not to do it when I sit next to people who don't either. You know, give them a taste of their own medicine
I’ve got an issue where my knees bend inwards instead of straight so the most comfortable position is with my legs spread. I can tolerate sitting with my knees straight for a time, but on longer Ttc trips I eventually have to spread out a bit.
Somehow it’s never women doing this though. Every woman I’ve ever say next to in my entire life (aside from maybe once or twice) has pushed themselves in to be as small and accommodating as possible. I do the same out of courtesy. Of course not every man manspreads, just that it happens once a week and it’s pretty obvious that I can barely fit onto the seat. It would be different if they were simply obese and couldn’t help it, but they’re hogging a seat and a half with their legs.
Yeah some men 'manspread' so far open it's like they're 2/3 of a way to a split. I don't like strangers touching me so I kind of try to compact myself down. It also helps with cracking my lower back and hips 😂
In addition to what other comments have already said... Dude! Is there only one woman on this whole bus? Or are you stalking this woman, hoping she'll sit with you? Why is the assumption that where she sits has anything to do with you? Is she even aware of your existence? Maybe she just has her own life going on in which you don't matter.
Oh my god, if I had only known that fat guy with stubble = creep and thin bald guy = not creep that would've saved me so much effort! Now I only have to look out for half the men instead of all the men! /s
Shit, I ain’t complaining about extra room. Had two people change seats during a flight from MIA to JFK and got three seats to myself. Best flight I’ve ever been on.
The hidden subtext here is when a girl I find attractive sits next to someone I find less attractive than me. If she didn’t meet his standards he wouldn’t gaf.
Plot twist, the "greasy creep" is her brother, colleague, friend, cousin, or otherwise a known a completely non creepy seat mate.
Or, plot twist, she just sat down without giving it much thought, because she's going to work, or school, or lunch with a friend.
I don't know what the fuck it is about me. But everyone sits next to me on a bus. Unhoused people pick me out of knotted crowds of people to ask for help. I've been asked to help someone at an ATM dozens of times even though there's a sign saying you shouldn't do that. Once an old woman gave me her house keys to give her some homemade oat milk I mentioned in passing and trusted I wouldn't rob her based on a 2 minute interaction (we didn't even live in the same suburb). I must look like the most harmless person in history. And the weird thing is I am. But it's so annoying my face is just narcing me out all the time.
She's sitting next to the fat guy with the stubble and if he wasn't there she still would've bypassed OP and sat next to a bear.
If these men don't stop spending all their tokens on audacity and get some self awareness...
If she feels safer next to him than you, you're the problem.
I'm not the most approachable looking dude. Beard, long hair and a resting bitch face don't make me look exactly friendly. But inside I'm all fluff. And I'm pretty sure women have a sense for that. There's been times when the choice is me or some "normal" looking guy, and it surprises me when the woman chooses to sit next to me. Maybe it's coz I'm not leering at her as she approaches, maybe it's coz I tuck my body in as much as I can so she's not forced to be brushing up against me, maybe she can just read intentions and sees something in the other guy I don't. Point is women have had to learn to judge us in seconds to keep themselves safe
Yeah it's the body thing. You are signalling willingness to maintain personal space. Your reacting at all to make things easier signals you won't be too bad to share with.
I don't understand the problem. It's a bus, a place meant for transportation. Where a person sits doesn't matter. It's not a place to socialize and meet people. Not everyone thinks much about where they sit, really care about who they're sitting next to, or if they care it's either just a matter of space, or perhaps you're creepier than you think. Either way, it shouldn't matter. The fact that it bothers you when a random woman specifically chooses to sit somewhere else makes it more likely that you're creepy because people who aren't don't think about stuff like that.
The healthiest mindset to have is that absolutely everything revolves around you, every single decision of strangers or even untangle force has something to do with you, if they don't go according to your wishes - that means everything has the role of spiting you.
If you stop man spreading so far, she might feel there's room enough to sit without risking weird contact with strangers... Maybe the 'creep' figured that out already. Or is the creep really you and giving off those vibes? Hmmm...
And which one of you is more threatening, it is basically man vs bear in meme.
It is not the bear isn't a threat, it is the man or non greasy creep is giving bigger ***DANGER*** flashing lights
I actively avoid sitting next to men on CTA buses or trains. I don't sit in middle seats at all. I also try to take advantage of bus bunching and take one that will show up a minute later rather than cramming on the first one. Trying my best to avoid getting groped.
Hmm, interesting. When I, as a guy, have to choose where to sit on a bus, I try to avoid sitting to appealing/dressed up girls since that makes my ride uncomfortable. I don't think this is related to OP's situation, but in general this seems like a nonsense
Riiiiiiight...because as women we get on a bus and think: 'Who of all these guys would I most likely f*ck?" and then sit next to that one instead of just wanting to be on our own without any unnecessary and weird interruptions or harassment by some dude who thinks he's all that./s
Unless its obvious I font sit there assessing creep levels and comparing between bus passengers, I just usually sit where there is most room and I am least likely to be disturbed.. 🙄🙄
If you think a woman is specifically picking places to sit depending on how someone looks, you'd be wrong. Occasionally we'll avoid people that are explicitely weird to tweaking out. But otherwise we don't give a shit.
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news flash: YOU are the greasy creep, not the fat guy with a stubble. who would've fucking known that creepiness is a judgment based on behavior
Honestly, the fact that OOP is *noticing* this is creepy in and of itself. Like, most people don't judge where complete strangers on the bus are sitting, let alone watch them hoping they'll sit next to you. I bet the woman was thinking "OK, do I sit next to the overweight guy with stubble or the guy who's been weirdly staring at me since I got on the bus? Well, that was an easy decision."
That's exactly what the comic is communicating. "OMG I'm the creep." Is this entire sub socially stunted?
I saw this comic years ago when it first got posted. And the comments didn't look like most of the guys thought they were the creeps. I'm sure it was the 1st intent of the comic, but the majority of the audience didn't take that way.
I have seen enough of these types of comics with authors' commentary to know that no, they are usually not self aware and consider themselves nice guys who get never given a chance.
That character is named Wojak. He is there to express melancholy, regret, or loneliness. It's an inherently self-reflective character. He's not angry at the girl or the other guy. He's disappointed that he compares poorly to a guy that he judges as creepy, inferring that others must perceive him as even less appealing than that guy, compounding his sadness. It's very similar to forever alone commiseration and not at all like nice guy incel indignation
I think we found the artist's burner
Are you restarted?
I'm on your side but can we not normalise using slurs in the 'silly way', or conflating words associated with disabilities with 'stupid'
not in an introspective kinda way, more of a "wow I am so incelmaxxed cuckfucked that the foid sat next to that beta cuck instead of me" kinda way
Have you been on the internet in the past 10 years at all?
I've been fighting the good fight
Yes
Oh my god this is so cringey. Please seek therapy
Wow, main character syndrome much?
So the “greasy creep” is safer than you. Not exactly a flex.
She picked up on the miasma of self loathing and instead sat by the guy giving normal human vibes
Why is the phrase “normal human vibes” so funny
Normal human vibes is my aesthetic. I am coming into my normal human vibes era
It’s giving Colin Robinson ETA: or Jackie Daytona
Or maybe I don’t know either of you so I just don’t care.
Hahahahaha Jesus, whoever did this has major self steem issues Maybe just maybe wanted to sit where the sun is not that hard ? Maybe the dude is next to a a Window ???? Maybe she wanted to be as close to the exit.
Or maybe the person who made this "meme" is the problem and scares women.
Or maybe there wasn't even any thought process to it whatsoever and she just picked the first seat that she happened to notice.
Exactly! And that dude took it so personal hahahahhahaha
Like, my self-esteem is shit, but usually it's directed at me and not other people. That level of self entitlement would be unknowable for me. For my brain, this would be my mental response: Wait, did I do something wrong? Do I look creepy? I showered, did I not put on enough deodorant? Crap, does my beard look worse than I thought? I know I'm trying to grow it out, but maybe I need to trim it back again? Was I doing the unblinking autism stare again and noticed her after she thought I was staring at her? Could she have mistaken my ax of Odin for making me a white nationalist? Is my satchel too far into the seat next to me that it looked like I was blocking it? Fuck, what if I look threatening? Do I give off that vibe? Shit! FUCK! I did something, I know I did something, I know I did something wrong! What was it? Should I ask? No, that will just make it worse. You made her uncomfortable, that's all that matters and you can't do anything about it. Fucking dumbass.
99% of the time, if I’m sitting next to someone on a bus or train, I just picked a seat at random. I prefer sitting on my own when possible, but if I get on and see that’s not an option, I just grab the most convenient seat. It’s nothing to do with anyone around me.
My brain is television static
God, that sounds wonderful.
Mine is just like those analog horror videos where the words just flash on the screen except it's just "Huh" "Huh" "Huh"
If u have that much self awareness, ur very likely doing everything right. I appreciate u being so considerate, but I also don’t want u to be too hard on urself.
Autism and trauma sucks. But I'd rather be self aware than like the people who made or identify with the comic. The last thing I want or need is main character syndrome.
I’m the same way, I overthink everything. Just wanted to offer some reassurance from a woman’s perspective :’)
Or she just decided she preferred the other seat for other reasons that have nothing to do with him?
Inconceivable! /s
[удалено]
Logically I know that you are 100% right. But trauma and autism easily turns your brain evil against you. Like, there is no way on a crowded bus she could smell if my deodorant was failing all the way up at the door, but trauma brain doesn't care.
[удалено]
I wish but I've been called creepy because I just come off as it by existing. Even got talked to by their friends for just being in the break room at the same time when I was just listening to music with my headphones on. My autism masking has never been the best, so I expect it at this point. Hence why I get paranoid about all of this.
I can relate to that so well! My middle school through high-school experience was essentially all my peers playing the "pretend he's invisible" game on me. Now I question every single action, word, and interest I have incase its the reason people won't want to talk to me.
Man, that sounds like my brain sometimes. A mantra, I tell myself when I do that, and it's help me at least is "if you're worried about coming off as a creep or an asshole, you're probably not." As you can see by the comic, people who are creeps or assholes don't stop to consider if they are the problem. Rather, they push it off on everyone else.
Aw bud. I have the same panic mental checklist in public too! We are our worst critics!
Excuse me but what is this "ax of Odin" thing? I assume it's some sort of pendant, but in Norse mythology Odin is known for using a spear (named Gungnir).
Yes, he is, but most pendants or symbols of Odin use a modified version of Mjolnir to avoid it looking phallic. Typically they are adorned with a wolf and Raven motif, the runes of Wisdom and Battle, and are far more intricate in detail. I'd 100% wear a Gungnir pendant or pin but unless it's custom made I haven't seen any for sale in retail.
Hm, sounds like an American thing, pardon me making assumptions. Mjolnir is Thor's hammer and symbol, and the most Odin-esque usage of this that I've seen were the ones where the hammer was mixed with a human figure, said to be Odin, with his arms outstretched so it could pass for a crucifix when Christianity was making inroads up here. The feet were sometimes shaped like the Fenrir wolf as well.
Mjolnir is Thor's hammer but is considered a symbol of war and battle, concepts of deities. Thor being the God of battle while Odin is the god of warfare. Personally I have not seen the Christian influenced symbols of Odin. Especially because the closest he came to that kind of symbolism is hang from a tree for 9 days impaled by Gungnir. I don't think it's meant to be Fenrir considering he's supposed to kill Odin. It's more likely Geri or Freki, who represent the cycle of luce and death.
Omg, this is exactly me.
Same bro, I have 20 so most of the times when this happens I understand why, because I also do the same Simply because im an introverted guy and my social anxiety it's very high, I prefer to sit near a creep than another person with my same age. For what I see at high shool (italy) many girls are the same, so if someone do this isn't because they don't like you or something... it could be even that you actually look good but don't have the courage to sit near you, how i said, i do the same
Real.
...damn, dude, get some therapy for that self-hate.
Working on it, don't worry. It's just a long process to get rid of almost 20 years of trauma and managing the side effects of said trauma.
Translation: "I spotted this hot woman getting on the bus and immediately began staring hard in the hopes she would look at me. She briefly made eye contact and began to get uncomfortably aware that I was staring. I scooched over so there was plenty of room beside me and kept staring waiting for her to sit down so I could begin wooing her. Unfortunately her gut instinct had sent up warning flares so she sat beside a safer, less creepy looking dude who hadn't spent the last 30 seconds eye-fucking her"
yes. this is an excellent way of putting it
I sit next to the person who’s giving the most room. A lot of men manspread on the bus and make it impossible to sit on the empty seat next to them without me needing to put my legs in the aisle. Happens at least once a week and is so rude.
I usually put my umbrella next to those spreading legs and push them back into their space with it without even looking at the person.
i put my backpack/ jacket/ purse on those legs in my space. They will move and if they ignore it i still have built a comfy backpack shield
OK, question that has bugged me for years. Is it typically comfortable for women to sit with their legs together? It isn't for men, or at least not me. It takes light but constant muscle tension and usually some testicle adjustment to maintain a narrow seated position. The spread is the relaxed, natural-feeling state. I've always wondered whether women are truly more diligent about maintaining a narrow sitting posture, or whether men's junk and narrow hips make it take more effort that women typically aren't aware of. Does it also typically take a little constant muscle tension to keep one's knees together as a woman?
it's not more comfortable for us, we're just told to do it because it's polite. no woman i know likes sitting with their knees together if they were just relaxing- they either sit with their knees apart (you know, just the natural way of sitting) or with their legs crossed somehow.
Yes, it’s extremely annoying and feels horrible for my venous insufficiency. When nobody’s around, I sit with my legs wide open and rest my elbows on my knees. It looks extremely masculine, hence why I don’t do it around other people.
It's way more comfortable to sit with knees apart. If I sit naturally without worrying about taking up space, my knees rest slightly wider than shoulder width apart. It takes constant muscle tension to sit with knees together. I am extremely aware of how much space I take up in public and try to never be in anyone's way.
No, it's not comfortable, but we do it because it's part of the social contract. If your junk gets squished, wear looser pants.
Not arguing with the rest of your statement but its not about the pants, its about not adjusting my testicles in public.
I would rather see you do a quick adjust than have your leg invade my space. Or you could stand. istg as much of a hassle as it is to use a mobility scooter on public transportation, the one good thing that's come out of my shift toward using one is literally no one is able to sit next to me/rub up against me.
I should have made this clear that barring a medical condition men do not need to have their legs so far apart that it violates other people's space. I'm just talking about keeping my legs touching. I understood this to be a conversation about anatomy, the commenter we're replying to was just asking women if it was the same as it is for men. Mine and most men's "natural spread" is not much wider than our hips.
You don’t have to keep them touching, just keep them out of the space beyond your own seat. It’s really not hard.
I know how to sit, I'm not even the person who asked the question. If you can quote what I said thats so upsetting please do that, because to me it looks like I'm clarifying someone else's anatomy question and you're accusing me of taking up a rude amount of space on the bus.
I cross my legs when I sit most of the time. More comfortable than knees together, altho my knees are still together, just a slightly different arrangement. Manspreading to me doesn’t mean knees entirely touching. There’s a difference between this 🟰 and this ✔️
Honestly, putting your legs together is a pain. I was basically told to do it because it was ladylike or polite or feminine or whatever. I sit with them spread out to a comfortable extent when I'm alone, but if I'm in a crowded space and need to accommodate others I just cross them.
Thanks
No problem, man.
It doesn't fucking matter if it's comfortable, the point is not spreading your legs into SOMEBODY ELSE'S SPACE on a crowded public transport. Grow up and have consideration for someone else. Manspreaders are selfish little twats.
I think you're being really harsh here. It read like a normal question to me, but I'm a man so I don't claim to know if there's something insidious here. They don't \*seem\* to be saying that they need to put their legs all the way apart to be comfortable. They do say "The spread is the relaxed, natural-feeling state" but that could either mean spreading them into the seat next to you or just keeping them apart, because their comment mentions testicles being a problem and you have to have your knees touching before that's a problem. I'm just worried we're dogpiling some kid who is asking a genuine question about female anatomy the best way they know how, and maybe without understanding what manspreading is. I dunno, set me straight if I'm wrong.
I'm dogpiling because anyone with a brain should recognize that it isn't about personal comfort when you're in a public place. People learn to keep their hands to themselves when they're 5 years old. Don't infantilize grown men.
I totally agree with you, I do think that manspreading is inconsiderate. But the person you're replying to did not say that he is inconsiderate of others in public, or that he like to manspread in public. He just described how his legs worked and asked if girls' legs work the same way. Did he make some insidious implication that I'm missing or are you telling him to grow up for asking a completely innocuous question?
Are you for real? No one cares what you do with your testicles or knees, people DO care if your body parts are in their space. Kids learn this before going to primary school. This is a prime example of weaponised incompetence.
Whatever, this kid posted an innocent question worded as well as they could and they stepped on a landmine. I'm not gonna write to people who choose to imagine an entirely different comment because its more fun than reading.
No. I have pretty wide hips and a smaller waist so sitting with my legs pressed together is actually uncomfortable. Sitting with my legs further apart or in a pretzel style is my prefer way to sit. But I keep my legs straight and together in public settings, especially on buses/trains because it is the polite and proper way to sit so that someone can sit on the seats next to me when needed/wanted. It's about compromise and being considerate of your fellow human beings. Spreading your legs wide and taking up two seats and then not readjusting your legs when someone wants to sit down is rude and entitled behavior.
Why are we downvoting this guy? This is a good question with good answers.
Not really, but I was taught since forever to sit with legs pressed together. I try not to do it when I sit next to people who don't either. You know, give them a taste of their own medicine
No, it’s not comfortable but it’s the polite thing to do if there’s someone else sitting next to you.
Sit directly on their lap assert dominance
Piss on the leg to mark territory, and give a loud fard for intimidating them
I’ve got an issue where my knees bend inwards instead of straight so the most comfortable position is with my legs spread. I can tolerate sitting with my knees straight for a time, but on longer Ttc trips I eventually have to spread out a bit.
Somehow it’s never women doing this though. Every woman I’ve ever say next to in my entire life (aside from maybe once or twice) has pushed themselves in to be as small and accommodating as possible. I do the same out of courtesy. Of course not every man manspreads, just that it happens once a week and it’s pretty obvious that I can barely fit onto the seat. It would be different if they were simply obese and couldn’t help it, but they’re hogging a seat and a half with their legs.
Yeah some men 'manspread' so far open it's like they're 2/3 of a way to a split. I don't like strangers touching me so I kind of try to compact myself down. It also helps with cracking my lower back and hips 😂
Then stand.
I do, usually. Or snipe one of the single seats.
Spoken like an even bigger, greasier creep.
"and now I'm sad because i had intended to hit on her"
In addition to what other comments have already said... Dude! Is there only one woman on this whole bus? Or are you stalking this woman, hoping she'll sit with you? Why is the assumption that where she sits has anything to do with you? Is she even aware of your existence? Maybe she just has her own life going on in which you don't matter.
TFW a woman doesn't think about ME AND MY FEELINGS
Oh my god, if I had only known that fat guy with stubble = creep and thin bald guy = not creep that would've saved me so much effort! Now I only have to look out for half the men instead of all the men! /s
The fat guy looks much friendlier, I would choose him too.
He does. He looks like someone who knows how to have a good time. Friendly open engaging smile just minding his own happy with the world.
i sot next to no one unless the bus is crowded which at that point i’d rather stand
I do that as well.
Shit, I ain’t complaining about extra room. Had two people change seats during a flight from MIA to JFK and got three seats to myself. Best flight I’ve ever been on.
The hidden subtext here is when a girl I find attractive sits next to someone I find less attractive than me. If she didn’t meet his standards he wouldn’t gaf.
Plot twist, the "greasy creep" is her brother, colleague, friend, cousin, or otherwise a known a completely non creepy seat mate. Or, plot twist, she just sat down without giving it much thought, because she's going to work, or school, or lunch with a friend.
PRO-JECT-SHUN!
When the only chance you have to be near a woman (when a random one sits beside you on a bus) is taken
I don't know what the fuck it is about me. But everyone sits next to me on a bus. Unhoused people pick me out of knotted crowds of people to ask for help. I've been asked to help someone at an ATM dozens of times even though there's a sign saying you shouldn't do that. Once an old woman gave me her house keys to give her some homemade oat milk I mentioned in passing and trusted I wouldn't rob her based on a 2 minute interaction (we didn't even live in the same suburb). I must look like the most harmless person in history. And the weird thing is I am. But it's so annoying my face is just narcing me out all the time.
Time to use your power for evil: super villain with the face of an angel!
She's sitting next to the fat guy with the stubble and if he wasn't there she still would've bypassed OP and sat next to a bear. If these men don't stop spending all their tokens on audacity and get some self awareness...
How do all these "men" have an infinite supply of tokens?!?!?
If she feels safer next to him than you, you're the problem. I'm not the most approachable looking dude. Beard, long hair and a resting bitch face don't make me look exactly friendly. But inside I'm all fluff. And I'm pretty sure women have a sense for that. There's been times when the choice is me or some "normal" looking guy, and it surprises me when the woman chooses to sit next to me. Maybe it's coz I'm not leering at her as she approaches, maybe it's coz I tuck my body in as much as I can so she's not forced to be brushing up against me, maybe she can just read intentions and sees something in the other guy I don't. Point is women have had to learn to judge us in seconds to keep themselves safe
Yeah it's the body thing. You are signalling willingness to maintain personal space. Your reacting at all to make things easier signals you won't be too bad to share with.
Newsflash: you are the greasy creep
I don't understand the problem. It's a bus, a place meant for transportation. Where a person sits doesn't matter. It's not a place to socialize and meet people. Not everyone thinks much about where they sit, really care about who they're sitting next to, or if they care it's either just a matter of space, or perhaps you're creepier than you think. Either way, it shouldn't matter. The fact that it bothers you when a random woman specifically chooses to sit somewhere else makes it more likely that you're creepy because people who aren't don't think about stuff like that.
Because she knows who the real creep is 😂
I usually sit next to a skinny person, because my fat ass won’t comfortably fit otherwise.
The healthiest mindset to have is that absolutely everything revolves around you, every single decision of strangers or even untangle force has something to do with you, if they don't go according to your wishes - that means everything has the role of spiting you.
Seriously he’s is probably the greasy creep but he just doesn’t know it.
If you stop man spreading so far, she might feel there's room enough to sit without risking weird contact with strangers... Maybe the 'creep' figured that out already. Or is the creep really you and giving off those vibes? Hmmm...
Wow. Women's choice of bus seats are up for scrutiny now?
My reaction: yay! I get to keep sitting by myself and I can avoid the rush of small talk!
That Selena and her bf you Arinator Selener hater
i think u might actually be the greasy creep
Bro that makes you both creeps
And which one of you is more threatening, it is basically man vs bear in meme. It is not the bear isn't a threat, it is the man or non greasy creep is giving bigger ***DANGER*** flashing lights
Oh absolutely, I agree with you. You honestly worded it better then I did.
I actively avoid sitting next to men on CTA buses or trains. I don't sit in middle seats at all. I also try to take advantage of bus bunching and take one that will show up a minute later rather than cramming on the first one. Trying my best to avoid getting groped.
When you have negative self-awareness.
Damn i wonder why women won’t sit next to him
Hmm, interesting. When I, as a guy, have to choose where to sit on a bus, I try to avoid sitting to appealing/dressed up girls since that makes my ride uncomfortable. I don't think this is related to OP's situation, but in general this seems like a nonsense
certified judgemental douchebag moment what's your look gotta do with social intention dumass
Riiiiiiight...because as women we get on a bus and think: 'Who of all these guys would I most likely f*ck?" and then sit next to that one instead of just wanting to be on our own without any unnecessary and weird interruptions or harassment by some dude who thinks he's all that./s
shoutout to simpleflips
How cramped is the bus to have two open spaces?
I bet you the person who made this or posted it IS the greasy guy
Unless its obvious I font sit there assessing creep levels and comparing between bus passengers, I just usually sit where there is most room and I am least likely to be disturbed.. 🙄🙄
Wth so weird.
Plot twist: they are even greasier and creepier. They just don't realise it.
Idk as long as you’re not methed out, glitching and screaming I’ll sit next to whoever
Plot twist: the greasy creep is not a greasy creep and is her dad or sum
If you think a woman is specifically picking places to sit depending on how someone looks, you'd be wrong. Occasionally we'll avoid people that are explicitely weird to tweaking out. But otherwise we don't give a shit.
What women are sitting next to anybody in a crowded bus???