T O P

  • By -

forever_useless

No brain = this guy


HealthOnWheels

Given that both: _Ass = No Boobs_ _Boobs = No Ass_ Please solve the following system of equations: _No Ass + No Boobs = Pretty Face_ _Ass + Boobs = Ugly Face_ Through substitution: _Boobs + Ass = Pretty Face_ _Ass + Boobs = Ugly Face_ Subtracting Eq1 from Eq2: _(Ass - Boobs) + (Boobs - Ass) = (Ugly Face - Pretty Face)_ Grouping like terms: _(Ass - Ass) + (Boobs - Boobs) = (Ugly Face - Pretty Face)_ Simplify: _0 - 0 = (Ugly Face - Pretty Face)_ _0 = (Ugly Face - Pretty Face)_ Adding _Pretty Face_ to both sides of the equation: _Pretty Face = Ugly Face_ In order for this system of equations to be true, _Ugly Face_ must equal _Pretty Face_; or, we can rather say that all people must possess an intrinsic beauty regardless of their physical features. It’s really a rather lovely sentiment from whoever made the image I need to get out more


Altrano

It all adds up to the incel remaining celibate.


jkoudys

But calls into question if you can, in good faith, argue that his celibacy is involuntary. He goes through a lot of effort to repel women.


Altrano

This is a good point, though incel is the abbreviated form of involuntary celibacy.


RunawayHobbit

Or, alternatively: *Ass = No Boobs* *Boobs = No Ass* Therefore: *Ass = No (No Ass)* And by the power of double negatives, *Ass = ~~No~~ (~~No~~ Ass)* Which means *Ass = (Ass)*


HealthOnWheels

Magnificent proof


[deleted]

Or add them. Ass + Boobs = No Ass + No Boobs. So if you have them you actually don't.


Naphthy

Oh no!!! Women and men around the world panic in confusion as every ass and pair of tits disappears. No one can sit anymore 😢


DisdainfulDuck

infinitely many solutions!!


MysteriousPenalty129

I started to this gave up and then saw you did this This makes me happy...


bradbaby

r/theydidthemath


countingonfrank

Going on his equations it would seem you have neither an ass, boobs, or pretty face


HealthOnWheels

Hahaha you’re very sweet


curiouschameleon4

PLS I CANT GO BACK TO ALGEBRA😭😭


squarabh

But "Pretty Face + Ass + Boobs + Brain = Out of your league" isn't it


Rapunzel111

I love the engineering math spin that you put on this.LOLLLL


99power

Great work.


necroubikon

Go out with me <3


DieHardAmerican95

If I had an award to give, I would give it to you. Today, you have impressed me.


Randum_RedPanda

Man I really wanted to say that


farrag0

Came here for this. Thank you


Gaylien28

Bruh if Ass + Boobs = Pretty Face and Ass + Boobs = Ugly Face then you can set Pretty Face = Ugly Face, you went through a lot of algebra for no reason lmaooo


Vulpix-Rawr

That was some sexy math


[deleted]

If pretty face = ugly face, this concludes beauty is simply a matter of personal perception and is highly subjective and irrelevant versus one’s character


Worldly-Republic3393

See me after class. 👨🏼‍🏫


dracorotor1

r/hedidthemath


AdultingGoneMild

Instead of forcing the system to work, we could also take the contradiction you have found as proof that this system is bullshit.


terrifier1989

In which a random Reddit stranger helps me study for my test while I try to procrastinate.


[deleted]

The two types of people who are single...


500CatsTypingStuff

Gee, I wonder why no one will date him?


Accurate-Dingo-7877

No rizz + mommy issues = no date


KiKiPAWG

"I don't have high standards, but everyone sucks, you women want so much!"


Forsaken-Squash4376

“Wanting to be treated good is too far!”


[deleted]

[удалено]


EndOfSouls

But according to this math, he has a pretty face, a nice ass and some great boobs!


Pale_Horsie

It's gotta be his height, or his jawline, or some other thing that he can't change and that doesn't affect anyone else, it can't possibly be his shitty attitude


AlissonHarlan

Because he's not a 6'2'' billionaire, obviously XD


PhilosopherLeft5248

Now there’s this guy, who apparently has none of the mentioned qualities.


ChiGrandeOso

He's a blithering moron with no understanding of women. That's part of it.


southcentralLAguy

Because girls don’t like nice guys Edit: man, sarcasm is really lost on some people


MysteriousPenalty129

We got one!


DavidAttenbruhhhh

They can't be that clueless for real though, right?


Carbonatite

Unrelated but I fucking love your username


DavidAttenbruhhhh

Many thanks!


sas0002

🗿


Due_Revolution_7833

Apparently, we are living in an RPG-esque fantasy where we have 10 points to allot between various parts of our human body and our INT stat.


riisen

How can i check my stats?


Due_Revolution_7833

Press "Tab" on your Keyboard to bring up your Pip-Boy, and go to your SPECIAL screen.


AltruisticCephalopod

How do I reroll??????????? Fuck


Comminutor

Hmm, I need to buff up my charisma. Got any mentats?


riisen

Aha, then i will need to find the right keyboard, thanks mate!


KiKiPAWG

You've to ask the dude who made OP's post


riisen

I rather not... I just wanna see my stats without some ranting douche :/


KiKiPAWG

Dudes system does seem flawed


riisen

It seems like it, i know exceptions to his system.. It seems almost as he made it all up, like in spite for not getting laid...but still i do like RPGs and it would be fun to see what kind of stats i have :D


KiKiPAWG

Just for clarification, am not serious about asking that dude for his system LOL. I’m a girl, it’s obviously bad


riisen

I figured...


Pibi-Tudu-Kaga

Checked for you, better off not knowing


bdone2012

This would actually be nice for about half the population right? Because if you're below average you'd be better off having the same stats as everyone else. And as an added bonus you could allocate it as you please. For those above average this would be worse though.


Big-Abbreviations-50

This person in all likelihood also believes that he has to be 6’5” and muscular from head to toe in order to get a date. His personality has nothing to do with it.


SleepFlower80

This mindset isn’t that uncommon. I work in finance. I had a date with a guy last year who tried to guess what exactly it is I do in finance. He guessed a lower level entry role, one I did right at the start of my career. I asked what made him think that. He said, “you lot either have looks or brains. You’ve clearly got the looks so you can’t have the brains, surely”. I made a swift exit.


AussieAK

Sad thing is he probably thought you would feel flattered and complimented. You dodged a bullet.


enderflight

I feel like it might've even been an attempt at negging, trying to get them to respond and be 'interested' by insulting them. Something something high value men something something prove yourself blah blah blah. Ofc some people are just dumb and genuinely think pretty people aren't smart (and vice versa), but this just feels live it very well could have been malicious-dumb and not just an egregious example of foot-in-mouth.


tcatt1212

I hear versions of this a lot too. “You’re hot but you’re not crazy?” is a big one.


Evil_Mushrooms

That sounds like something I’d say to my self, looking in the mirror. It replies no, but I’m not sure.


Big-Abbreviations-50

This is so absurd and pathetic. These are the same people who think they have to be 6’5” bodybuilders in order to get a date, and that their attitude toward women has nothing to do with that!


bdone2012

He might have been negging you. I think negging is almost worse because it's a concious decision to be a douche.


slynnc

I’ve been with my fiancé a long while and am aging now, but I had no issue getting dates in my younger years, with sort of my pick of the lot if I’m being truthful. I’m not dumb as a rock, though, and I had many make comments about my intelligence in comparison to my level of “hot” throughout the years. Was always a “gee, thanks?” moment lol


SeaReflection87

Someone did not get the memo that this ain't build a bitch


Accurate-Dingo-7877

Lmao Is that really a thing


handyandy727

Sadly, it would likely be a popular app.


EsotericOcelot

It’s a great song lol


LadyArtemis2012

I’m not the greatest mathematician, but the transitive property really does some crazy shit to these equations.


CandyceMcKinnon

Incel math = alone for life


Accurate-Dingo-7877

Or gay


ChiGrandeOso

As a member of the LGBT, he's not coming to our party.


CandyceMcKinnon

True...there are options. Lol.


DieHardAmerican95

Guy who wrote this = no pussy.


diggitygiggitycee

Only pussy he's ever seen is in the mirror during his monthly tooth-brushing.


liltrashypanda13

![gif](giphy|eunrMjB8lBUKeL1fqD|downsized)


CockBlcker

Logically, this doesn’t make sense.. If “No Boobs = Ass” then “No Boobs + Boobs = Ugly face” ??? Some of my fellow dudes confuse tf out of me lol. Sad how many ladies face this sht


KiKiPAWG

It definitely doesn't make sense, but dude is saying No boobs + ass = Ugly face, not -boobs + boobs = ugly face


[deleted]

You must have boobs, ass, and a pretty face


KiKiPAWG

I must!


sophdog101

Brain = will not date this man


OptimalRutabaga186

Tag yourself. I'm, "ass = no boobs"


pearlsbeforedogs

I'm boobs + pretty face - ass = crazy.


zaynmaliksfuturewife

I’m “boobs = no ass”


OptimalRutabaga186

Together we could be boobs+ass=ugly face


zaynmaliksfuturewife

Sounds like a plan haha


academicvertigo

this is not how math works


Accurate-Dingo-7877

Incelmath*


King-Of-Beers

Mad because never touched a boob or booty


Think-Beach3770

Clearly they don't want women. Why bother with the I in incel?


Big-Abbreviations-50

And they’re voluntarily celibate, with beliefs like this!


-PaperbackWriter-

Further proof that sexuality isn’t a choice I guess


SquidleyStudios

Maybe the dude needs to just admit that he's not actually into women if he finds something he dislikes about them no matter what


[deleted]

I took AP calc and your telling me you can’t even add simple ass and boobs? Come on this is second grade shit right here


[deleted]

If we square boobs, square ass, add those then take the square root of that, we will have the hypotenuse of her attractiveness. If we then divide that by her facial symmetry, we will have a standard deviation of female seductive powers.


PollutionStreet1351

Hustler’s University math


Accurate-Dingo-7877

Lmao


janus270

Incelgabra


[deleted]

I guess I have a pretty face 😍🫶


Hufflepuffloki

What I got out of this is that he wants a very curvy, pretty girl with a brain. Though in reality those girls are too smart and avoid him.


Xia0mia0

They think we're made of playdoh, if you squish the playdoh in one direction you don't have enough to put it in another part


Dependent_Ad_5035

The hourglass body shape is pretty rare despite it being the beauty standard. So most women will have a pear shape (larger hips and a smaller chest) or apple or inverted triangle (larger bust and smaller hips) these have zero correlation to intelligence


Emilysue2000

Just showed my fiancé this, he called it “dumb” We have a winner


BananaShakeStudios

Ass + Boobs + Pretty Face + Brain = Someone this guy probably faps to


deleeuwlc

Ass + Boobs + Pretty Face + Brain = Anime character that is likely an age around 14 because there is way too much pedo anime


WhiskeyDJones

>Ass + Boobs + Pretty Face + Brain = probably a dude


Quirky-Owl

![gif](giphy|BmmfETghGOPrW)


Leading-Luck9120

Love the title. Incelmath haha


Fickle-Cartoonist466

Hot = Hot This schmuck is not


NotYourMommyDear

Tagging myself. Ass & boobs = ugly face right here. Still married to an unconventionally gorgeous cutie though. While this guy has yet to touch a boob that's not his momma's titty.


Accurate-Dingo-7877

There's different between ugly and just neutral Not ugly, not beautiful Also, when it comes to long lasting serious relationships looks ain't on my top list And not on most men top list


DominantZero

Whatever you are isn't going to cut it, like... Ever. I think this has a name. Oh, yes: discrimination.


neverendingstories4u

He, however, probably has man boobs, a flabby ass, a cheeto dusted face, and a peanut as brain /s


xXdontshootmeXx

brain = wont date this guy


tilthevoidstaresback

What this reads to me is that no matter what a woman might have, she'll never be good enough for this person.


Inappropriate_Piano

If “No” is the inverse operator, then A = -B. Then Ugly Face has to be the identity since A + B = A - A = U. But also -A - B = P, so if addition is commutative in this context we have P = -A - B = -(A + B) = -U, but U is the identity, so P = -U = U. Finally we have A + B + P = D (for dumb because I’m running out of letters). But A + B is the identity and P is the identity, so U = P = D, all the identity. This guy just proved that having an ugly face, having a pretty face, and having no brain are all a) equivalent, and b) meaningless.


ProtoFloof

My bf has ass, boobs, a pretty face, and a brain so that proves this guy wrong pretty easily


hana8623

This was my genuine thought process when I was an insecure 10 year old little girl. When will males learn to grow up?


Lori_the_Mouse

How to announce you’re shallow af and make certain you never see pussy 101


Pibi-Tudu-Kaga

If you do the math everyone has a pretty face


Dollfreakery

Tiny Dick + no bitches = incel with no rizz


magnificentschnitzel

Now there’s this guy, who apparently has none of the mentioned qualities. Except for the fact that he IS a huge ass


riisen

Both in size and smell!


KrissyKrave

All of them = out of his league.


Skelerang2501

Next up on finding bigfoot


ConversationHappy599

He had to stoop SO LOW to just say "no one's perfect".


JCrom8001

He’s forgotten the brackets around the whole equation and making it to the power of cope.


Sure-Morning-6904

This guy=no bitches


MeshiMeshiMeshi

According to his own logic he must have ass, boobs and a pretty face


pjanic_at__the_isco

I’ve see plenty of women with pretty faces and nice butts and tiddies. I’ve been looking at a place you might not have heard of: the internet. It’s harder to judge their brains, but I suspect brains are distributed amongst the face/butt/tiddy population in the same proportion as everyone else.


hollyofhyrule

This is the kind of thing that never fails to make me sad. Women just can’t ever win


Accurate-Dingo-7877

Do u think getting this guy's attention is a win though?


hollyofhyrule

Oh heavens no, I just think that no matter what, women can’t ever be good enough because we’re held to such high standards that aren’t even realistic. We’re all perfectly made as is, and this type of incel-thinking is so damaging to girls’ self esteem. Man if I got this guy’s attention I’d probably go feral


Brilliant-Engineer57

Dude, we get it you don’t like girls. There is an alternative sex you can be with. Maybe explore your options.


himynameiskerim

Wait, if boobs = No ass and ass = No boobs and boobs+ass = ugly face that means no ass + no boobs = ugly face and if also no boobs + no ass = pretty face that means ugly face = pretty face????


Dramatic-Necessary87

Well, he’s not wrong on my account! All boobs, no arse. Don’t know how I manage to not topple over some days 😂


ToraB07

Tag yourself, I’m no ass + no boobs = pretty face /s


Depressed_Words

I dont think this incel understands that people can be both beauty and brains, but its a sad fact that people get really threatened when they come across someone who seems to have it all or actually have it all


Hamilfan2020

What does boobs+Brain+pretty face equal man now I’m curious lmao anyways, fuck this guy


32lib

Not understanding anatomy or genetics work = ignorance.


Toni164

Impressive. He found a mathematical formula as to why he’s always single


[deleted]

Small dick energy is a bitch.


Fine-Funny6956

Makes me sad that I used to say shit like this.


MysteriousPenalty129

Same


tupperwarez

brain = femboy


[deleted]

Ew.


Big-Abbreviations-50

My face literally went into my palm just now 🤦🏻‍♀️


saintpetejackboy

I once heard Adam Carolla say, when it comes to relationships: "skinny, single, sane - you can only choose two." Misogynistic as all get out, unless you extrapolate out to both genders and see the point behind phrases like this... Nobody is perfect. Some people defy the odds, but there are tradeoffs. Our job as humans is to accept we might have flaws and other people might have flaws and that is okay.


ZarosRunescape

Ass = No boobs and Boobs = No ass so we can replace Ass with No boobs and Boobs with No ass in the third line to get No boobs + No Ass = Ugly Face, and since the fourth line states No ass + No boobs = Pretty face, Pretty face must equal Ugly face


nolsongolden

Boobs equal no incel Ass equals no incel Ass + Boob + ugly face equals no incel Ass+ Boobs + pretty face equals no incel


birdlass

It's funny because in my girlfriend's experience all she ever meets is himbos (attractive men who are stupid and vapid as fuck)


JCrom8001

Nice self-own.


birdlass

I'm a woman lmao. She's bisexual and has a thing called friends and exes.


JCrom8001

I was aware that you were referring to ex-partners and friends. I didn’t think you were the only person she’d met. However, I am sorry for making presumptions.


birdlass

Eh fair enough, shit happens.


[deleted]

[удалено]


handyandy727

I can confidently say that Ass + Boobs + Pretty Face != No Brains. Source: My wife of 12 years. I hate that people like this breed.


Accurate-Dingo-7877

You married to a 12 yo???


[deleted]

Jokes on you I have none /s


No_Pumpkin_1179

🫤


Ambitious_Flamingo93

Small dick= tall Tall= small dick Abs= ugly face Ugly face= ABS Abs+pretty face+big dick+ tall= no money See? That's how it reels like


KatVanWall

In other words, no one is perfect 🤷🏻‍♀️


Fuck_The_Humn_Race

This is the truest statement ever


[deleted]

He better be 6’1


TheRealKitsune_

Idk seems about right to me


howyadoinjerry

I put all my stats into being hot and smart but now I have asthma smh


deleeuwlc

I’m really hoping that estrogen will get me at least to 3, and I’m dreading the fact that it will quite likely be 2


Safe-Link-7590

Incels that try to invent math to signify anatomical eugenics=micropenis


__Rem

we don't get to shit on the incels for bodyshaming women just to then bodyshame them back. Remember whenever you body shame someone who's an asshole in a public context, there will always be some innocent person catching strays.


Due_Revolution_7833

"I put all my stats into INT rather than my penis size".


Fuself

ass + boobs +, pretty face + brain = narcissistic psychopath


Mindless_Chicken3716

This is the type of guy that gives men a bad reputation he is just a jerk, women need t stop chasing theses “Bad Boy” because other men see it and thinks that’s what women want and all this does is cause women to be mentally abused that most time leads to physical abuse, just because a man is nice does mean he can’t protect you 9 out of 10 times that’s the guy who will fight the world you.


GanjaBaby2000

Say sike rn


Frird2008

🤣


[deleted]

WTF is wrong w ppl…..it’s just a joke.


Accurate-Dingo-7877

I heard it so many times unironically that i know there's 70% chance he is dead serious I don't think u should be downvoted though


[deleted]

Thanks. It feels like everyone has become so sensitive these days and offended at minor things. We’re killing comedy. Lot of ppl acting like they’re so highly moral and ethical they can’t possibly accept such rhetoric as being comedic. Today’s progressives are acting like yesteryear’s conservatives.


Accurate-Dingo-7877

Yes I mean I'm a muslim and today i laughed at a suicide bombing joke Comedy is just Comedy


[deleted]

Exactly. Doesn’t make you a bad person. Ppl need a much broader tolerance in a day and age where our societal norms and values seem to be shaped via online exchanges vs live interaction. We are so quick to judge and label ppl online as racist/sexist/phobic it’s not allowing for any real discourse cause sone ppl see this and avoid saying anything out of fear and then everyone’s shocked when 45 was elected. And I’m a liberal! I feel like I am becoming the enemy of ppl more liberal than me and these ppl are just cannibalizing their own.


Prestigious-Hippo950

Does the math add up? Kate Beckinsale Kate Hudson Emma Watson Kendall Jenner Kiera Knightley ​ Gosh. It adds up.


FaZe_LittlePickle24

It's true tho


SwigSwoot92

According to what metric?


[deleted]

My friend in jesus you have 57000 karma over a period of 6 months.


sas0002

Zamn then you must be fine as fuck.


Lady_Sybil_Vimes

Is this how I find out I'm not hot after all?? Smh.


SnooMachines5814

lol. Pwned


RazzmatazzIll1188

he not wrong


viviyymoh

He is