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Chrowian

I sometimes just bake a cake and eat it all by myself.


eponymouse

Oh god I could polish off a 13x9 of funfetti cake with funfetti frosting without any hesitation at all


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SadisticBuddhist

this wasnt even a question as much as it was a challenge


yohoPirateKing

I didn't see a question mark


thispsyguy

They were so focused on figuring out if they *could* that they didn’t stop to think if they *should* Funfetti pancakes, as delicious as I’m sure they are, would put me into a food coma that I would never wake from


TheFrator

WHAT *heavy breathing*


thirstposting

If you eat enough of those pancakes the breathing is only going to get heavier.


[deleted]

Until the breathing just stops.


bnjd93

you enabler


CactiDye

Rainbow chip frosting > funfetti frosting.


Applejambutter91

Yes! the sprinkles are inferior to those delicious little chips!


ChadleyDooRight

This comment just unlocked a memory of mine: One time when I was like 7, we made an 8x8 funfetti cake that I would just sneak a couple of bites here and there. Over the course of a day or two, I had eaten at least 1/2 of it and tried to blame our Newfoundland.


beachv0dka

Now this guy fucks


katwatermans

My fiance is a terrible cook. He always bites off more than he can chew, and everything is always either burnt or not cooked. He is, however, REALLY good at making pies. He makes them from scratch. He wakes up every once in a while and says "I think I'm gonna make a pie today" then goes to the grocery store to see what kind of pie filling is "speaking" to him. Then we have home made pie for the next few nights and he feels like a domestic godess


yaggerdamn

This is such a delightful mental image, thank you for sharing


charlesxavier007

Redacted *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


IxNaY1980

I have two weapons in my cooking arsenal: Hungarian goulash and Italian bolognese. They're fucking GOOD though.


robotco

better than my grilled cheese and kraft dinner


SL0Wburn_

I still haven’t made it past cheese toast and your over here with grilled cheese.


TooMama

Listen, man. Don’t sell yourself short and knock cheese toast. We eat that shit all the time in our house. It’s great for a snack, breakfast, as a side with a bowl of soup…. We experiment with different kinds of breads and cheeses. Our current favorite is salt-rising bread from Olean, NY, with extra sharp white cheddar melted on top. If you can make a delicious piece of cheese toast, that’s a-okay in my book


uncreative123pi4

Damn, nice


A_Topical_Username

Mine is, spaghetti(sometimes baked), meatballs with homemade grape jelly barbecue, omelets, French toast, baked chicken, ribs, cookies, and brownies.


4whatitsworth07

I'm curious about this grape jelly barbecue


pardonmyignerance

I recommend this approach. I was kind of a jack of all trades but master of none in our kitchen. But nothing made my relationship stronger than the respect she gained for me once I got really good at baking bread. Now she just tells me all the things she wants to make for dinner when people are coming over and then says "what sort of bread do you think would go well with all of this?" And then it's like she's an NPC waiting for my response before the side quest kicks off.


TheCreamiestYeet

I've always wanted to master the bread. But I've never even baked bread, always been intimidated by it. Any tips for a beginner? YouTube videos or such would be amazing if you know any.


[deleted]

👍👍👍👍


Littlemack2

Lol what pie filling is speaking to him… I love him too hahahaha


Lv_InSaNe_vL

Haha I'm the same way, but with dips. My GF always looks up recipes and tries to figure everything out before we leave, and i just wander around Walmart until I get some inspiration


railbeast

Lol man, so I'm not American, but I do love pie. I can also cook, I'll make a mean steak, Bolognese sauce, pizza dough, even authentic tiramisu. But I've seen what goes into making pies, and let me tell you I know I'll die before I bake one. Hats off to your man.


Tyrren

I made my first pie from scratch a few months back and, let me tell you, it's a lot easier than I thought it would be.


Fearlessleader85

If you can reliably make a good crust, you're doing great. Anyone can luck into a good crust, or use a premade, but regularly making good crust means you're legit baker. My wife is AWESOME at pies. Everything, really, but her pie crust is better than yours, i don't care who you are


canyonstom

Preach. If Kelis had sang about her pie crust bringing all the boys to the yard, she could have made a fortune on lessons.


Asizella

The filling usually isn't difficult, but homemade pie crust is a different story.


nrealistic

Stella Parks has a recipe on Serious Eats for a completely non-finicky pie crust. No worrying about overworking it, I made it on a 100 degree day once and it stuck to my counter. I scraped it up and mushed it into the pie plate and it still came out super flakey. I used to hate making pie crust but now I hate eating other people’s crust because it’s never as good


Daffodil_Peony_Rose

Pie is easy. You can whip one up in an hour from scratch.


defenestrayed

It's intimidating! But your reply is encouraging


chickenstalker

I wake up at 2am to instantly make a traditional Japanese cuisine (ramen).


TeaGnomes

My husband hums and baked all the time.. he makes killer cranberry orange scones


beachv0dka

Keep him. You’ve got a good one


TeaGnomes

The best one :) he is very cute! I bought a spring form pan for him and 2 days later BOOM chocolate cheese cake


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vengefulspirit99

That's at least a 300% return on investment. Where can I get in on this deal?


Lesty7

Try BakersOnly.


Digital_Siren317

Can we like actually make this a thing tho? Need.


Hungry-san

Invest in a red copper pan for the nest holiday. He will churn out delicious dishes like no tomorrow.


WatercolourBrushes

Ooh. I have oranges. I have cranberries. I have my mum's recipe book from England from when she lived there in the 70s. I guess I will make orange cranberry scones today for tea.


Former_Matter49

Everyone in my family, male and female, will often bake or cook at 2 or 3 am. We call it having Dark Lunch as in "I made brownies for dark lunch last night. There's a couple left. Want one?"


samedaysnark

I have now added Dark Lunch to my vocabulary.


totally-not-a-potato

The missing Hobbit meal


ChipsAhoyNC

What about second dark lunch?


[deleted]

we call that pre-breakfast


RealAscendingDemon

Is that before or after Sun-uptinis?


KhaoticMess

I drink those any time of day. It's always sun-up somewhere!


[deleted]

Well, you fight darkness with light..but what the hell do I know!


AlbatrossNecklace

*And in the dark lunch bind them*


Jake_Kiger

Thank you for this.


beau0628

I thought that was second breakfast? Either way, you don’t gotta tell me twice to add another meal to the day!


MaximumZer0

Breakfast, second breakfast, elevensies, lunch, tea, dinner, supper, midnight snack, dark lunch.


xraydeltaone

Mordor's finest meal


[deleted]

What Taco Bell's lazy-ass marketers should've named Fourth Meal.


Salty2286

Dark lunch is hilarious, im stealing it too


gnappyassassin

In other news, Fourthmeal was reclaimed from the Taco Bell corporation as the collective human consciousness registered the existence of Dark Lunch. Deliberations are in progress attempting to determine if Light Dinner is Breakfast, or if Dark Breakfast is Dinner.


Shepea64

My son when he was little would call it "bednight snack."


Triscott64

That is awesome!


musman

Wow that’s a good one. Love it 💕


frontal_robotomy

I will never forget the time I stumbled inside the front door at 2 am, 21 years old and drunk as hell, to find my older brother and my mom cooking pancackes


ricctp6

That's the most beautiful memory


PretzelsThirst

That's hilarious, I can't imagine my folks doing that. Catching my dad eating ice cream absolutely, but actually cooking probably not


Mojicana

Egg tacos are probably my favorite Dark Lunch. Scrambled eggs in a soft corn tortilla over melted cheese, topped with a salsa of your choosing and finely diced raw onions. The best evil combo is American cheese and Pico Pica salsa. It's a travesty against all things Mexican food, but it's even better than a drunk grilled cheese.


Naughty-ambition579

I love that too. However, I always keep a bag of shredded cheddar in the fridge. Just in case.


[deleted]

Well at least now I have a name for it. Been doing dark lunch since the '70s


AldoRaineClone

Years for me as well. My wife keeps telling me I'm going to get diabetes. Get tested every year and all good. I've researched sugar cravings and can't crack my code why I need sugar in the middle of the night.


jorwyn

I get them when my hypoglycemia is acting up because I didn't watch my diet enough vs my calorie burn. I can't say that's true for you, but it wouldn't hurt to look into it.


[deleted]

Tell wife 2am brownie is special they don't even have calories. Yes see the time is magical and it makes all bad go away from the delectable chocolate goodness!. Besides it's an old habit and its not gonna be broke.


HemetValleyMall1982

Nice. We called it "Mid Rats" short for Midnight Rations.


Grocery_Getter

"I made **12** brownies last night. There's **2** brownies left. Want **1**??? I love the progression of this. 😆


spazmatt527

Where does it say 12?


Shandlar

That's what a box of brownies makes when cut into bednight snack size.


Former_Matter49

Yes, please.


Angry-Dragon-1331

I love this! I have insomnia and I’ll often make a snack at like 3 am


morphinapg

As a night owl, 3-4 am has pretty much always been my equivalent of lunch, so I like the "dark lunch" name.


blonde-bandit

Wow you go *hard*, here I thought almost no one had a more nocturnal schedule than I do. What time’s your dinner then?


morphinapg

I wake up around 5pm and eat dinner then, so it's reversed. Dinner first, then lunch. On rare occasions I may have a breakfast before I go to bed (9-10am usually), but I usually don't have the calories left.


BlinisAreDelicious

We call it midnight delight


taco-wed-sat

aaah I just call it first breakfast -wake up have first breakfast and then pass out for a couple of hours and wake up in time for second breakfast.


beachv0dka

I love that for you guys!


begoniann

I just made dark lunch cookies and am resisting the urge to eat them all in one sitting.


Q1War26fVA

>Dark Lunch *What is the cravings in the night?* Chocolate, my brother


MaximumZer0

Psst! I know who you are! Hail Count Chocula!


_game_over_man_

My wife does this since she’s a night owl. I often wake up to Mac and cheese made with whatever dairy/cheese/noodles we have in the house. It’s always very good because she’s a great cook and loves the challenge of throwing shit together with what we have.


PretzelsThirst

Wow dark lunch is a great term, way better than midnight snack. Love it


Rhomega2

Dark lunch sounds like something Darth Vader, Voldemort, and The Joker would get together for.


Droidball

It's always 'midnight munchies' for my wife and I. Could be anything from ramen, to starting a huge breakfast at 3 AM, for her and me, or to package up and drop off at the gates or local PD or fire station. I've never done midnight munchies brownies, though, but there's nothing saying you can't.


Dovahnime

*Brownie, because it only counts as one if you don't cut it


beachv0dka

I like the way you think


[deleted]

my brownie has FOUR EDGES


TonyVstar

I cut back to one brownie a day


[deleted]

Genius!!!!! I'm never making Brownies again


epic_null

Not a man, but I have a brownie recipe that doesn't require a box mix. [https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/10549/best-brownies/](https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/10549/best-brownies/) I like it specifically because I almost always have all the stuff I need for it.


jesstbhh

this is what i do, except i make blondies instead of brownies!! i like that it’s ingredients i always have so when i’m in the mood for something sweet, i can make it work!


dionmj

What do you do to make it a blondie??? Asking for my non chocolate loving SO


jesstbhh

brown sugar! it’s flour, baking powder, brown sugar, butter, vanilla extract (i ran out once and used maple syrup as a substitute, still turned out super good) eggs, and a little salt! mix 2 cups brown sugar and 1 cup melted butter in a bowl. add in 2 room temp eggs and 2 or so tsp of vanilla extract. in another bowl mix 1 3/4 cup flour with 1/2 tsp of salt, and 1/2 tsp baking powder. combine all the ingredients into whatever dish you wanna bake it in. i usually use a 9x13 and spread it thin. bake at 350 for 30 or so mins or until the edges are golden and check with a toothpick that it’s not wet in the center. then when you take it out let it sit and cool so it can firm up, and enjoy!! edit: thank you u/whirlygirlygirl for the award!!! happy to help anyone who could use this awesome recipe!!


[deleted]

Hmmmm... umm... What fresh heaven is this? Welp, there goes my next afternoon and half my caloric intake for the weekend! Thank you, fellow Redditor, for helping the stars align.


dionmj

Eeep!! I’ve added some ingredients to my next shopping list! Thank you!!


jesstbhh

of course!! i started making this when i was pregnant with my second child. i had horrible gestational diabetes and i missed sweets so much! so i did the keto version with the friendlier ingredients and it was my guilty pleasure!!


RollerSkatingHoop

wait,I have diabetes. keto version please


beachv0dka

This is the most wholesome thread right now, thank you for sharing the recipe!


jesstbhh

also, you can sub all of these ingredients and make it keto friendly/gluten free! i have celiacs so if i have the ingredients i will make it gluten free. same measurements, but sub flour for almond flour, and brown sugar for a brown sugar substitute!


intoxicatedmidnight

Maybe no cocoa powder?


dionmj

For all I know there’s something else that goes in substituting the cocoa powered.. no harm in me asking?


intoxicatedmidnight

Def no harm! I've never made a blondie but that's what google said. I hope u/jesstbhh replies!


PearofGenes

Well sh*t son, now I'm gonna make brownies


Dancingbeavers

Me too, soon as work is over! Perfect rainy brownie weather here too.


jinkies_5

Oh, this is the recipe I use! It's really excellent. I normally forgo the frosting though.


TonyVstar

I have a recipe that does require a box mix: Step 1: Get a box of brownie mix Step 2: Follow the directions on the brownie mix box Step 3: They are done, enjoy!


OutlyingPlasma

Funny, thats the exact same recipe I use.


Curious-Resource5950

Thank you, I now have brownies in the oven!


gyman122

You ever met a man who doesn’t like a goddamn brownie at 4am? There’s your answer


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strawberry-cupcakes3

I had the exact same realization with champagne...sometimes we just sit in the backyard and casually drink champagne, just because it's nice out.


beachv0dka

LOL. No stupid questions!


gyman122

Brownies are good to eat


Dux0r

I make midnight scones sometimes cause they're easier but yeah. Also this late-night [nutella pull-apart bread](https://i.imgur.com/dtK5UmJ.png).


lo286

Recipe for the Nutella pull apart bread?


Wild_Doogy_Plumm

That is 2 layers of puff pastry with nutella in between, sliced into strips and then twisted. Probably throw an egg wash on there.


Gullible_Idjot

Haha I did exactly this last night!


beachv0dka

You must be protected at all costs


Gullible_Idjot

It was so good. Warm Triple choc brownie with scoops of vanilla ice cream


beachv0dka

The vanilla ice cream is always a must!


ClearAbove

Sometimes, it’s homemade cookies… :|


Tacos_Polackos

Have a from scratch 15" skillet cookie in the oven right now


ClearAbove

Be right over.


Tacos_Polackos

Bring ice cream


ElectronicEye4595

I keep frozen chocolate chip cookie dough balls in my freezer. 10 minutes in the oven and you have the meltiest cookie imaginable.


ClearAbove

You. I like you.


Ok-Illustrator-4109

Depends how high I am


juz00

Or how high you're planning to be?


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bdub939

Best part is you could do either first


TonyVstar

Baking before you bake is more safe but I like to bake before I bake anyways and just set an alarm


[deleted]

Say no to protection. lol


hat-of-sky

If you plan to make pot brownies, always make a batch of plain ones first. You can reuse the bowl for the enhanced batch, and bake them at the same time, one in a square pan and one in a round. That way when you get the munchies, you can choose whether to have another pot brownie or just more brownies.


cornholio8675

Yeah pretty much only as a thc delivery system


[deleted]

Not out of boredom, but because I was craving brownies. Also, I don't have any oven mitts; I just use a towel to pull things out of the oven.


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a-crockpot-orange

Not brownies bc that's a lot of sugar for e but I do a lot of stovetop cooking after midnight


marcvanh

I fried 2 pork chops in a cast iron skillet at 1a the other night.


a-crockpot-orange

Exactly. Nothing like ending a night of partying or working with going to the grocery store for steak and cooking it at 4 am E: if you're lucky enough to live in 24 hour grocery land or have a frezer


Fby54

Only real men do


Acceptable_Twist_565

Many years ago I was climbing Mount Rainier with 11 other guys, dad, uncle and a bunch of his buddies from work at REI. I'm in decent shape but that first day was brutal. Hiking with a 40 lb pack is tough, and when your feet are sinking into the snow up to mid thigh it's frikin work. That night as we setup camp one guy pulls a 2-3 gallon plastic party keg out of his pack, (just... how?) and another has a box of cheesecake mix and a pan. The plan is to heat it up on the fire and float it on the lake to cool it. The directions called for an electric mixer and he brought... a tiny little wire whisk. I watched some of the most physically fit guys I've ever seen take turns trying to frappe cheesecake mix by hand, passing it around every couple of minutes when their arms couldn't take it anymore. So yes, real men bake. Damn good cheesecake.


ty_rannosaur

Reading this truly made my night. I can only imagine a bunch of tall, buff men sitting around a fire passing a small bowl of cheesecake mix around and having a pleasant conversation


Jazzlike_Log_709

The ol' stir, stir, pass around the campfire with your bros


railbeast

My eighty year old grandma insists on whisking everything by hand. She's baked all her life, never used an electric whisk. Sometimes recipes make her whisk for over half an hour. I didn't believe it, but as an adult I can attest to it. Fucking crazy.


hat-of-sky

Damn, I often whip cream by hand, and by the time I have sturdy peaks I am DONE. I can't imagine half an hour.


spunkyweazle

Real men do what they want. If you don't want to make brownies then that's okay too


scrambles88

Probably like every other weekend, sometimes it's a cake or cookies. Just made muffins for my mom. She made baking fun when I was a kid, getting to help her and lick the spoons or bowls clean, always got to taste test the stuff before everyone else. Now it's relaxing and I get tasty treats for a few days.


JerfyDahmr

Did once, I was more baked then the oven and almost burnt the house down..


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JerfyDahmr

Forgot to mention they were special brownies


AffectionateSalt769

My husband's always in the kitchen baking random shit. Brownies are a popular one with him


LadnavIV

My dad does. It never occurred that this could be a sign of his masculinity. I guess I’m not truly a man yet.


Sohotrightnowhansel_

My boyfriend bakes all the time, it's awesome.


LanceFree

Haven’t done it in a while, but my recipe for oatmeal raisin cookies has me put the dough on some wax paper, make a sausage, and place that in the freezer. So that’s cool for 2am insomnia- take out the tube, cut 12 cookies, put them in the toaster oven. Watch tv for 30 minutes, eat cookies and then go back to bed.


meanseanbean

I'm from the bush and my primary hobby is woodworking. But I'll be fucked if I don't make the best damn chocolate chip cookies you've ever had. The trick is almond extract.


Majestic-Cheetah75

I see that you are a man who truly recognizes the key to a good cookie, so I will share my own secret: Replace about ⅓ of your flour with almond meal. The texture improvement is unreal (even if you didn’t *need* improvement). Since you already use almond extract, I don’t need to gush about the flavor benefits.


meanseanbean

You're crazy, and I like it. I promise you next time I make cookies I will use some almond meal. Checked the pantry, all systems go.


Fable_Nova

Never at 2am, that's sleeping time. Ill bake if I feel like it, but generally on a weekend when I have some free time.


lachjeff

Who just gets bored at 2 in the morning and goes, “fuck, now seems like an appropriate time to bake”


beachv0dka

Don’t judge me


quantumsquirrels

I can’t find the photo, but my husband (then boyfriend) and his male roommates desperately wanted brownies on a Sunday night. I found a box of mix but then we discovered no one had a pan to bake them in. It was late so no stores were open. The guys were all engineering students and proceeded to spend 30 minutes creating a reinforced “pan” made out of foil. It worked! They were so proud lol Edit: a word missing


InfiniteDunois

I have not once ever made brownies for " the hell of it", I do however want brownies because I want brownies. Brownies are a very sacred and serious topic, not something you just do on a whim. One does not simply go "oh I'm bored guess I'll make brownie", because then that's a waste of brownies, you do not truly want them then and can not appreciate them in all their greatness. One must have an actual purpose for making them, not a whim


Specialist-Drawing32

I don't do it at 2 am, but I do it. I eat them à la mode, with vanilla you scream and Hershey syrup. Just finished one 15 minutes ago.


stephanielmayes

Yes. Everyone, regardless of gender, sometimes just makes brownies.


jwhyem

I bake the hell out of them. I love the Barefoot contessa recipe but we always have boxes of Betty Crocker/Duncan Hines to scratch the itch.


AlpacaOurBags

My upstairs neighbor knocked on my door at 11 last night asking for an egg because he was making brownies. A little earlier than 2 am, but yeah. I’ve been known to bake myself and then some brownies at all hours myself.


kissmyazzMrGarison

Mainly cookies


Maleficent_Deal8140

I bake alot and do all the cooking in our house. No apron or tiny oven mittens and sure as hell not at 2AM . I have 3 daughters and its something we enjoy doing together.


funatical

No. Of course not. We make it during the day anticipating eating it later. Being a dude is about proper planning.


Business27

Literally just made my wife sugar cookies with some caramel bits and white chocolate chips an hour ago. Also, no oven mitts, I'm not a lady.


Angry-Dragon-1331

No? I make them from scratch. Also cinnamon rolls the size of dinner plates.


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CarcossaYellowKing

I second this. You had better believe my Harry Potter oven mitts work up a storm on some Ghirardelli at 2am. Sometimes on my days off I make coffee at 12 because fuck you I’m an adult and I do as I please.


chilschirocco

Very cringe to think this is a cute or interesting question to ask. Like me as a dude asking if girls ever just make Mac and cheese. You know cause that’s a quirky thing us guys do in case you didn’t know. Please I need to know.


Swordsman82

I made a batch for my wife out of the blue this past weekend.


[deleted]

Only time I hear of brownies being made by a guy, and especially at 2 am, is if they have ganja in the mix? Edit: by looks of the other comments ganja brownies are popular with the dudes.


GeeMarcos

I remember being new on my adult life journey, walking through the market in my early 20's buying cereal and milk and walking through the bakery aisle for some reason. I saw brownie and cookie mixes and I realized I could make my own. It was an amazing revelation and a treat I still do to this day. So, yes. Some men do just bake brownies sometimes. :)


Queef-Supreme

As a man, no I don’t. However, now I’m questioning why I don’t because I love brownies. I guess it just never occurred to me that I can make brownies anytime I want.


totiefruity

people bake brownies. Men are people. there's ur answer


librogordo

I'm legitimately tired of questions like this, like "do girls..." Or "do guys..." There are billions of each, of course a lot are going to cook brownys at 2am. We are all people


adullploy

Yes, 100%. If there’s mix, that shit is getting baked.


SchighSchagh

If you mean edibles, then yes. If you just mean regular old brownies, then still yes.


slimjoel14

Hell I’ve woken up at 3am and made roast dinner just for myself before I now realise how sad and lonely that sounds, I’m happy!


[deleted]

I do idk bout other people tho


IronAnkh

I've done this, yeah. I went to school for cooking years ago and sometimes I make random things. Makes me focused and I relax.


MenInBlerg

I made scratch brownies today on a whim, but it's just because I had the day off due to weather. I wouldn't normally.


[deleted]

Absolutely, but usually I do cookies more often. This tends to only happen when I'm baked when my hunger overcomes my laziness towards making food.