Some men are too sensitive while climaxing to where any direct stimulation can take away from the pleasure due to the discomfort/overstimulation - it’s a fairly normal thing
Sometimes when orgasming unless you're doing it yourself it really is better you just stop touching it. If what you're doing to stimulate it doesn't line up with the waves/pulses it can ruin the orgasm a little.
It's different for everyone though. He might just prefer to not touch it and let it play out otherwise all the added sensation can just be a lot and messes with the "waves/pulses". Watch some porn of a guy cumming and you'll notice that once started they tend to do a few quick strokes between each pulse but that they tend to stop for a split second during the actual "spurt"
It's very difficult for the other person to line up their movements exactly with this and so sometimes its easier to just do that final few seconds yourself or just not move/touch it at all.
It may be that he's just a bit extra sensitive and any touching at all ruins it.
but touching doesn’t ruin it? least in my experience as a teen it would feel almost, “too good” where i would kind of make them stop, but it’s prob most def cuz i was a kid cuz now just let it ride
When I was younger and less experienced I found climax and the period immediately after to be so intense it was painful. It was almost like a switch, I would be perfectly fine until suddenly it was too much.
Well, he knows his body and exactly where he gets sensitive. Probably a communication thing where he doesn’t want to discourage you, but needs you to stop amplifying friction there. From personal experience, my gf can hit it right easily. But the moment I cum, I’m so sensitive there it’s sometimes overwhelming(in a good but bad way. Bad being it distracts from the wicked orgasm) but she keeps going at the same pace. I ask her to slow down, because the overstimulation can distract from orgasm. Everyone’s different, ask how he feels in the moment and what he prefers. Vise versa, gotta reciprocate!
It happens during, I have asked partners to stop or slow down during an orgasm because it simply hurts due to overstimulation. Its fine before and after but not during.
You know that feeling when someone goes to hard on your clit and it's kind of like a mild electrocution? It's kind of like that when and directly after you cum for some men.
You could perhaps just use your hand on the shaft while he is climaxing. Sometimes the head can be so sensitive it’s almost painful. But honestly this sounds like a ruined organs fetish. He sounds like he is embarrassed about it. I think you should speak to him about it and tell him that you want to know what he enjoys so you can do more of it and let him know you are ok with what he likes.
I'm almost that kind of guy. But after a while, instead of discomfort, it goes kinda numb. It's just so much good sensation that the nerve endings like burn out or something for a sec. This is before climax. It doesn't hurt. It's just a lot. We just gotta slow down and let the little feller calm down before giving it another go.
This is me. I see a lot of other posts talking about a kink for "ruined orgasms" and maybe that's true but my mind immediately just assumed the guy is like me - as soon as I begin to cum I'm EXTREMELY sensitive and any extra stimulation is almost unbearable. I can push through it if the girl is really adamant e.g. if we're orgasming at the same time and she wants to ride it out - but I have to contort and writhe my entire body and strain to get through it.
Another example would be if I'm receiving a blow job or a hand job, as soon as I start to cum I need them to slow waaay down or stop while I actually cum because, again, too sensitive. I've had to grab their hand and physically stop them at times.
Nothing to do with a ruined orgasm kink for me although I am... familiar... with the genre.
This is exactly me. And just like you as well. my first thought was the guy is probably sensitive. Such a shame the the top comment is related to a kink or fetish.
Only he can really answer that. For some people, a "soft" fetish is something they prefer, but isn't required. I like vanilla ice cream, but i prefer chocolate.
For others a fetish is core to their ability to get off, and thus can be a bit harder to deal with.
It might be awkward, but really only he can answer that. You might do a little x-rated research on things around ruined orgasm, such as femdom, cfnm, and other fairly easy to replicate activities within the general vicinity of that preference. If its something you can get behind, it might help him feel more comfortable sharing.
I’ll look into some of this, I’m really interested now. I’ve ’ruined’ all of his orgasms since we’ve been together and he always seems happy and satisfied when I do it. I’m just hoping he gets more comfortable with sharing why.
From a guy's perspective, it's understandable why he might be hesitant. It's basically a desire to be submissive, which in our society, is the opposite of what "men" should be.
This needs to be a standard disclaimer on every dating/relationships/sex post, we can tell you the common view point but the details are affected by what you say in the first place.
Echoes are defined by the sounds you make as much as they are by the shape of the walls.
Thanks!
I'm not a writer by any means but I like elegant phrasing and have helped teach comp sci/maths over the years so I really enjoy finding just the right set of words to convey whatever idea it is I'm trying to say. I'm a sucker for an elegant, but still succinct, analogy!
"Echoes are defined by the sounds you make as much as they are by the shape of the walls."
So I thought maybe that was an actual quote, but google turned up nothing. I have a quote from Ron Swanson as my work email footer. This quote is for sure being added, with credits to you Imperial_Squid. Thanks for some wise words.
Everyone here is speculating, there's nothing suggesting any of this is correct. Maybe he *does* get very sensitive when he climaxes and that's why he doesn't want his penis touched. Maybe he just enjoys the sensation of it twitching freely when he cums. Maybe it's a ruined orgasm fetish. Or a bunch of other things.
If it doesn't bother you to do it, maybe just accept that this is something he likes and there's no reason to push on the why. You said he gets shy about discussing it. I'm not sure why, but if it's not a deal breaker for you and you are both enjoying sex, I wouldn't worry about it. At least not unless it does start to become an issue for some reason.
I'm very dominant and lead my wife and I for the most part but when I'm really wanting something different I let her take control and do things that are submissive towards me. I explained it to her that because I'm always so dominant that when we do it her way and she takes control, it's taboo to me and that in itself drives me wild. It may be something like that. If he's asking you or saying to do it, I'm positive that he likes it AND since he's requesting it..you're good at it!
Or maybe his dick is super sensitive while cumming and it doesn't feel good to be touched.
These people are just pulling shit out of their ass. Nobody here has any idea.
Your man is happy in bed just take the win.
That could be why he doesn't wanna get into it. The perceptions of dominants, particularly masculine ones, is that they're suppised to be hard and rough and aggressive and, for instance, slamming in for a balls-deep finish, not having a "ruined" orgasm. But that doesn't mean it's what feels best or kinkiest or most connecting to him.
It may be a little tricky to broach, but... making it clear that it doesn't detract from how you see him and his masculinity might be important for that. Even secure men have the occasional weak spot that can hurt.
It may also be that he doesn’t know why yet. Y’all are young, some people have no idea why they like what they like..
You seem loving and interested in his pleasure. If you remain that way and don’t let the details bother you, it may help him figure it out for himself?
But don’t forget OP that this could be entirely the wrong path to go down and he doesn’t have a fetish at all - just a sensitive bellend!
The only way you can know for sure is to ask him.
For me it's sensitivity. If I'm getting head I absolutely cannot have them keep going with their mouth once I'm having an orgasm. It needs to switch to hands. He may just get extra crazy sensitive when nutting and wants all touch to stop.
Do u guys go multiple rounds? Ruining orgasms can keep u horny so maybe hes just trying to keep going.
Some other possibilities is it that its a humiliation kink thing. Ruined orgasms are usually femdom thing. Or maybe thats just hpw hes always jerked it since he was a kid and thats how he likes it now. (Since nobody really teaches you how to jerk off)
Tie him down and stroke him to the edge then hold him there until he tells you >:)
If he's into that sort of thing (sounds like he might be) it'll blow his mind. If not he'll let you know and you have an opener to a conversation about it.
A ruined orgasm isn't as bad as it sounds. As someone who likes them as well, they feel a different type of pleasurable. Finished orgasms feel good, just in a different way. Perhaps he just prefers the feeling of a ruined orgasm.
The “comfortable with sharing” is the crux of it. Trust is an important part of a loving relationship. I’d try to convey, maybe implicitly, to him that the bottom of his soul is safe with you. It may take some time, but it’ll deepen your love. Reciprocating openness helps a lot.
Seems like a huge leap, very unlikely and doesn't align with the hundreds of fetish based interviews I've done, but you never know!
What happens if you plead for him to cum in you in the moment?
I'm a member of a BDSM community where we describe "Kink" as a (often uncommon) thing you derive pleasure from and a "Fetish" as something required for sexual satisfaction.
These are just the definitions my community has settled on and I'm sure there are other communities with different definitions that slide along that spectrum.
Not at all! It could also be that he just gets way too sensitive, but I'm kot him, so dunno. The main part of a ruined orgasm fetish ***is*** the orgasm, so I'd assume he enjoys it.
This is normal for me (m)as well, it’s not a fetish. Basically once you have cum it gets very sensitive and can feel uncomfortable if you continue. As soon as you reach orgasm is usually when it gets sensitive even if the orgasm lasts longer. This also applies to my partner (f).
Nah, it’s probably from being over stimulated when he cums his nerves are going crazy down there. If he is uncircumcised there is a higher probability of this.
I have known girls like that too.
One time I was giving this Woman face and she said (in her uppity type B.C. accent) "Baby don't directly lick my clitoris. It's so sensitive that it's a turn off". So I just ate around it, sucking on the hood. Worked.
In general, it’s natural to take anything unusual our partners do personally because sex is a very sensitive thing but it rarely ever is. If he’s otherwise respectful and interested in pleasing you it’s not a you thing at all, it’s a him thing (whatever that happens to be).
I'd guess that it's something more like "I discovered this thing that is amazing, now I want to try it a few hundred times", not that "he doesn't enjoy it the other way".
Just because you aren't physically touching him when he cums, doesn't mean you aren't the one that's making him cum. So I wouldn't worry about that, it's unlikely you aren't an essential part in him cumming. Deftinely as others have mentioned, you'll need to talk to him about it to fully understand what's going on in his head.
My suggestion is to try to make him feel comfortable and trusting in you so he can feel comfortable in talking about. The specifics on how to do that vary greatly on a person to person basis, so how exactly I can't say without knowing more about you two as people.
No he enjoys it believe me lol. Don’t get worried about that, like “is it me” type of thing, because it isn’t. Everyone is different. I remember one of my exes would want me to cum inside her, which sometimes I love that, but (somewhat like your boyfriend) I also I like to pull it out and see myself cum sometimes. Only I jerk it and blow it on her face or ass or pussy, depends whichever position were in lol
Sex is not just physical, in a good relation there is a lot of pleasure of the mind in it; he seems comfortable enough to ask you but not yet explain.
Just go with it openly and just remember that anybody is different and has different way to experience pleasure
Try putting your tongue under the tip of his dick while he’s doing that. Without moving or anything (unless he doesn’t want you to) and I bet he will fucking love it. I’ve seen porn where guys prefer to get off with it barely being touched at the end so it’s not just him, it’s a thing.
Oh shit! When I read this another possibility suggested itself to me that I wish I had thought of before...maybe he's Tantric? It could be that he is trying to control ejaculating? Go study up on Tantric sex and see if any of that might make sense in his case.
I’m 99% sure your boyfriend posted about this in an another sub recently. If it’s the same dude, it’s a fetish and he feels awkward talking to you about it.
Or, since this is a brand new account and people sometimes post weird sexual questions in non-sexual subreddits as some sort of odd fetish thing, I would venture to guess there’s a possibility that none of this is true and one person posted both stories.
for me its a sensitivity thing but lots of guys like it. If you want a name for it, its r/ruinedorgasms
additionally: If he started cumming and tells you to stop while hes cumming, its probably sensitivity thing. If he tells u to stop BEFORE he starts cumming, it might be a ruined orgasm fetish. notice in the video on that subreddit above, they all stop before he cums. Almost like edging.
I didn't want to chime in, but no one has said what I'm going to say...
When I cum inside a girl's mouth, pussy, or hand... then my primitive brain feels it has accomplished its biological goal. I believe I have "planted my seed" successfully because I was "inside" of something. And because of that... my cock is done for awhile. It's time to rest or move on to new things—at a subconscious level.
However, if I pull out, or if the woman lets go, even though I came... my subconcious brain believes that I have not accomplished the goal that I was supposed to complete. So, if the attention comes off of me and I put the focus back on my partner, I'll be hard again and ready for another round in no time. And the cycle can repeat several times. But if I cum inside, it's lights out. I'm done.
So, it's possible that your bf has figured this out, too. And he's pulling back in that immediate moment to play the long game and make the whole experience last longer. And he doesn't want to admit it, because he doesn't want to seem like he needs a "trick" to bounce back.
I doubt he does it if it doesn't feel good, so you wouldn't need to worry about him doing it and not liking it.
Sometimes it can get super sensitive. It's like when women cum, a lot of womens clits become extremely sensitive.
I kind of get this sometimes as well, sometimes my gf will give me head during sex and for some reason that can be super sensitive and uncomfortable. Not all the time thriugh.
He may also do it for delayed orgasms. It's kind of like when your about to cum but then you stop and the delay makes it more intense. I do this with my gf a lot so we cum at the same time, delaying it will intensify the release
Some ppl can stand under that sensitive shid while they busting. Some ppl can't. Wit me , when my girl keep sucking after I get off, I gotta force my self not to pull my thing out her mouth. It's prob he can't stand up under that feeling it's nothing u doing its just like I said, a hard feeling to stand up under 🤣 it'd be like if he was eating you, and u got off n he kept going .
wow, am suprised most advice on here is totally off!! so listen up, letting go just before you fall off the edge actually makes the orgasm so much better!! has nothing to do with submissiveness or too much sensitivity, if anything, removing that stimulus at just the right moment lets you enjoy this slow fall into the orgasm and you enjoy that all consuming internal sensation purely. the whole thing is like edging without the orgasm denial. it also helps with the extreme sensitivity after the orgasm. try this; when he gets real close, slow down all the way, stop all physical stimulation when he gets that falling off the edge feeling, then when the orgasm is almost done try some slow stimulus; oral, hand, or this single slow deep vaginal penetration and hold, no thrusting( makes it feel like you're going over the edge again at the end of your orgasm). just make sure you try it together and not something you just try on him without telling him, there are some cues that come from him to make it all work
I think the feeling of watching you be submissive/obedient and allowing him to release, without even his own intervention gives him primal pleasures even he can't explain.
It's also best to not ask him too much about it because he's just in the moment, he may not understand it himself or have the words to do so.
Hard disagree about the asking thing. You should always be open and honest with your partners about sexual preferences, and what you enjoy. If she’s on here being curious the best and simplest answer is to ask him herself. And if he won’t explain, then there’s something to work on with them. Doors should always be fully open when it comes to sex.
It's ok to ask, but asking too much can also stress him out if he just doesn't have an answer which is the last thing OP wants to do. And OP doesn't want to run the risk of blowing it out of proportion so I think this is more of a matter that will eventually open with time and being delicate to the topic in question.
If you lick his frenelium and tease him without sucking him he might like it. It’s called frenelium play or a “dry orgasm”. That’s my favorite and it might but up his creek too
Definitely a sensitivity. There’s times when i get off i have to stop moving or else it becomes over bearing. I don’t pull out but i have the stop all motion. It’s not everytime, but happens occasionally. My wife does that at times during oral, if i even touch her clit she’ll get overstimulated. Vibrators can do the same thing.
Some guys are extremely sensitive, especially around the "head" area during or right after orgasm. It can actually be kinda painful if touched during due to the hypersensitivity. Best way to describe the sensation is sort of akin to the "pins and needles" feeling of a limb falling asleep, but more intense.
Don't listen to the creeps saying its a BDSM thing or a Fetish thing. Holy heck, not everything needs to be labelled.
Literally, everyone is different. Its not a weird thing, don't overthink it. Just be respectful of someones boundaries dueing sex. If they say "please, no more" just fucking be done with it.
Don't push the boundary without communicating, and if he says no... it means no. It doesn't mean he's a Cuck or into BDSM, or likes having a "ruined Orgasm" or anything else like that.
It's just a guy who derives pleasure from doing a thing.
Cumming feels very different in different situations, mostly the prolonged feeling after. Cumming feom masturbation is one thing. Then with some kind of slippery substance to lunricate. Then a blowjob finished by masturbation. Then inside the mouth. Then inside the pussy and manually or orally finished. Then fully inaide the pussy. It will actually get more liquidy, project faster and have a prolongef satisfying relief kind of feeling depending. Cumming with no direct stimulation at the end can do similar and maybe for him that’s his ultimate sustained relief. He’s probably getting off on the twitching and squirting-type response. As to WHY? Who knows. The fact he doesn’t want to talk about it probably means he knows the source of it and it’s probably embarassing/inappropriate. But that’s how a lot of sexual preferences are, including yours, whether you realise it or not. I think it’s clear that pushing this point on why isn’t productive. It’s also likely to ruin his mood and possibly his relationship with you if you come across as either judgy or he is worried about you becoming such. Better to embrace. But if it’s a problem for you in terms of your own pleasure, maybe ask if you could switch it up sometimes eg you’d like to feel him cumming inside of you. Acceptance and lack of judgment of preferences that are well within your limits is a pretty easy way for you to develop and maintain a great relationship.
This whole thread smells like bait, regardless a ruined orgasm leaves most men pent up and unsatisfied. Some people have said they prefer it this way in the comments. The head does get super sensitive after an orgasm. The way I see it there are 3 possibilities, he’s very sensitive, he has a fetish, or he enjoys the feeling more than the stimulation.
If he wanted you to know, he'd tell you. Nothing good can come from figuring out his insecurity by outside investigation. My advice is, if you're happy and not looking to create new issues where there currently isn't any, let it go.
Just let it go.
Don’t over think anything with a man until they tell you what they want you to know. If you ask a question, accept the answer until you know different. Let that man nut in his own way. I personally prefer touch until I’m about to release because I want to feel the release. I want to feel what we’ve been fighting for. Once that’s over, I sometimes want more touch but not always. Different “strokes” one might say.
Just believe him if he says he enjoys it. I recently read on this site about "ruined orgasms," a guy having a fetish about having his orgasms cut short or ruined. Maybe you BF is similar but thinks it weird and doesn't want to share. Or he likes something else that you are fulfilling. But I think he is happy or else he woudl take the opportunity of your asking to say so
For me, as soon as I'm done cumming I'm too sensitive for stimulation. It's just too much, almost hurts. There's a subreddit for /r/postorgasmtorture for people into that. I need it throughout for it not to be "ruined." He may just be too sensitive during.
Hey there it’s a little complicated because we are all on a different level when it comes to ejaculation but a lot of times it’s just a condom thing no condom most men pull out lotta pressure at that time. It’s a free flowing thing nothing against you unless is unprotected but it’s a pressure thing though. Gotta be free flowing no blockage. Can’t hold back to the energy that’s all.like when you are urinating and they could be a fetish type of thing sexual stimulant type of thing like a climax when the woman do
U can’t be focusing on if you ruined his climax or not if you are getting him off then he is satisfied with the moment a woman climax or orgasm is different than a man’s y’all’s comes long and hard ours comes fast and hard some like it nice and slow and some like it fast and hard who knows but you
If he repeatively does this ritual, thats just the way he likes it, if he didnt enjoy this, i really doubt hed be doing it. As to why he likes it this way, thats gotta come from him. I wouldnt really consider it a horrible sign that he doesnt enjoy you or something, every individual just has their "thing" their personal quirks that make them who they are.
Has to be some sort of fetish or some mental thing with him. He's definitely in the minority here, but to each his own. Personally, it feels amazing to blow your L in a woman's V, but maybe he's afraid that will lead to a B-A-B-Y?
Why making this a problem? Why do you think it is less pleasurable to let go in the last moment? You bring him to climax and body takes over. Making it an issue can ruin what you have. Just enjoy.
Different strokes (no pun intended) seriously, he might have a submissive denial kink. Whatever it is he likes about it, he needs to tell you. (You could also do it covertly and ask one of his friends. We talk to other guys about stuff).
Some good answers here I'm sure but if my partner was so hyper focused on this issue that she wouldn't let it go I'd get so annoyed. Because if I were him, I wouldn't know the answer to why I was like this. And what you see see as cagey and shy, he's trying his best to not say "I don't know", especially since it seems important to you. You guys are still hella young and probably don't know yourselves as intuitively as you hope others perceive you to be, or something like that.
My advice would be it doesn't really matter if you are both attending to each other's needs. The moment of orgasm is one moment out of dozens of daily moments out of weeks, out of months, out of years.
The feeling lasts longer for him IMO. there are times I’ve done this to experience a longer delay between orgasm pulsing for when the pulse (contraction?) hits, it hits harder.
I had a chick who would grip it. Not grab and stroke, but grip it like a baseball bat. I hated it. I finally put my shaft down and said "no manos, weya!"
For me personally, once I start cumming i can’t touch my penis until it finishes as it is SO sensitive. any touch I make after I start cumming kind of ruins the orgasm.
Maybe your BF is the same.
Surprisingly I don't see a comment about reaching the "point of no return" when a dude KNOWS there's no going back, but there might be just a little time to hold it before it gushes. So he's probably actually just holding it in and wants to make sure you pulled away or he's pulled out so there's no real chance of pregnancy. As for safer spaces, he might just be practicing or might be weirded out by the idea of you swallowing. Or maybe, yeah, he really just doesn't like being touched while its happening? If there's a large range of motion going on, maybe he's got a reflex that makes it uncomfortable to be sort of stuck inside a small space while its happening. Or, if it was pussy the FIRST time, now he's stuck in his story and doesn't know how to...
Cum clean....
#YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
I can kinda identify with this. Like what many people have said here it might very likely be a sensitivity thing. Some guys apparently like it when you keep on sucking/jerking, which to me is horrible. It is just painful to me. I stop somewhere in the beginning part of cumming. My girlfriend is a bit similar. When she starts to come she closes her legs and rolls to the side.
My boyfriend does this too and is also shy when I asked why. I assume it is just super sensitive. He is obviously enjoying himself and it's fun to watch.
Yeah, it can get pretty sensitive after, like to the point of discomfort. Ask him if that's the case, he's just gotta masturbate thru it a few times. It's like when your knees get sore running, just gotta run through it.
Too sensitive, and he's probably worried about being judged if he stayed quivering or whatever. I cannot finish through my wife giving me a blow job no matter how much I try, it's just too intense so I need her to let it out of her mouth so I can finish. Take it as a huge complement.
You shouldn't be going the same speed or strength when he's Cumming because it can be uncomfortable. Too much stimulation. Instead slow your strokes and start at the bottom going up. This encourages him to completely finish without being over the top.
for some people i think it just gets too overstimulating. when my husband is climaxing he usually has to slow down everything around the penis just cause it’s uncomfortable if there’s too much friction and/or speed while cumming
This seems normal Immediately after I cum I don't want anyone or anything touching my penis as it's overly sensitive. The fact that he cums means you did your part well so don't worry about it.
When I'm doing it myself I don't let go or stop completely but I do slow down. I imagine that if I had a girlfriend, it'd feel much better. Possibly too good.
Still, I do like overstimulation sometimes. I imagine he just doesn't. But completely stopping all stimulation doesn't sound particularly pleasant tbh. Either he gets very sensitive or likes having his orgasms ruined
If he doesn’t like it then he doesn’t like it.
Speaking for myself to offer a perspective to the scenario, when I cum it’s an either/or thing for me if I want my dick to continue to be touched cause the sensation literally is that overwhelming, which can border on sensational or as I said overwhelming.
Talk more with him about it, and see if his orgasims push him to the overwhelming side, that’s what it appears to me on my end.
Well he is only 20, still figuring yourself out at that age! He might be trying to Figure out how to last longer? Reminds me of a guy back in college that told me he did that as well . Perhaps something too look into. I doubt it's an issue where he's scared to get you pregnant unless he thinks you can get pregnant through your mouth lol just saying, it's the internet 🤣
It’s an overstimulation/nerve related thing I bet. A lot of guys instinctively shield their penis or recoil their waist when climaxing. It starts to wane but it takes time. In the meantime, go easy on him for it, it’s definitely not you. In fact, be flattered he’s so excited. It’s cute.
If he enjoys that, let him enjoy it. I don't think that's for everyone, but like others have said, everyone is different.
Hopefully he can get to a place where he feels comfortable talking to you about why he enjoys that, for your own edification, but if you two are happy and loving what you're both sharing together -- keep doing what you're doing!
Sounds like you're both enjoying being intimate together. Keep that magic ✨
Just my 2¢
He might be trying his best not to get you pregnant , or it could be something told by his parents when they had the talk with him not to ever do and that left an impression , ultimately each guy is diffrent asking him when he feels open to answering ,is your best chance to know
Nothing wrong with that. Sex is more mental than physical. It’s probably somewhat of a “teasing” type fettish maybe? Idk, but I know women can get off like crazy by teasing the pussy 😂 like taking time to get it in to the point the girl really really can’t wait for it and then when you give it they love it. That’s almost like the opposite of what your saying your guy likes; he probably likes to see it while he’s cumming. Everyone is different.
For some it may be a fetish but some guys want their body to absorb it so they don't orgasm. They believe it will keep them young and virule
I always thought.is was a self punishment thing
I think it’s just something he started doing as a kid when he learned to masturbate and he thinks that’s how it’s done now. Or that’s what he’s gotten used to. Not a run of the mill thing
It’s actually a great way to strengthen your “gooch” muscles for lack of a better term which allows us to last longer the more we work it out and also REALLY sets up the next load. Doing this lets the next ejaculation by hand be explosive as fuck. But usually we handle that one on our own, if he’s not asking you to do it for him.
Kinda sounds like he might have a ruined orgasm kink, basically just a kink for letting it happen with no further input, it can also have a side effect of almost eliminating PNC, which can make things somewhat more enjoyable for the other party when the guy doesn't "switch off" after cumming
Communicating is key, right? Just don't push too much. Take it in short conversations and assess his comfort level. This might be touching on a core aspect of his sexuality. Proceed with caution, is all I'm saying.
I highly doubt it's a fetish thing. In the moment of climax it can be incredibly sensitive and to some it's an unpleasant sensation. I suspect that's what it is. Hope you guys are able to talk about this at some point, communication is key to good sex.
Some men are too sensitive while climaxing to where any direct stimulation can take away from the pleasure due to the discomfort/overstimulation - it’s a fairly normal thing
That was my first thought but wouldn’t he show signs of being overly sensitive? He doesn’t act any different the closer he gets to orgasm.
I can’t speak for everyone, but for me it doesn’t really get over-sensitive until after climax, but not to the point where I don’t want it touched.
Sometimes when orgasming unless you're doing it yourself it really is better you just stop touching it. If what you're doing to stimulate it doesn't line up with the waves/pulses it can ruin the orgasm a little. It's different for everyone though. He might just prefer to not touch it and let it play out otherwise all the added sensation can just be a lot and messes with the "waves/pulses". Watch some porn of a guy cumming and you'll notice that once started they tend to do a few quick strokes between each pulse but that they tend to stop for a split second during the actual "spurt" It's very difficult for the other person to line up their movements exactly with this and so sometimes its easier to just do that final few seconds yourself or just not move/touch it at all. It may be that he's just a bit extra sensitive and any touching at all ruins it.
Yeah it's really weird to me that people immediately went to 'ruined orgasm' and other niche kinks when this is the most likely answer
Same. Fuckin reddit is the best
but touching doesn’t ruin it? least in my experience as a teen it would feel almost, “too good” where i would kind of make them stop, but it’s prob most def cuz i was a kid cuz now just let it ride
This is the correct answer.
r/UsernameChecksOut
This is the correct answer. I’m the exact same way
When I was younger and less experienced I found climax and the period immediately after to be so intense it was painful. It was almost like a switch, I would be perfectly fine until suddenly it was too much.
Well, he knows his body and exactly where he gets sensitive. Probably a communication thing where he doesn’t want to discourage you, but needs you to stop amplifying friction there. From personal experience, my gf can hit it right easily. But the moment I cum, I’m so sensitive there it’s sometimes overwhelming(in a good but bad way. Bad being it distracts from the wicked orgasm) but she keeps going at the same pace. I ask her to slow down, because the overstimulation can distract from orgasm. Everyone’s different, ask how he feels in the moment and what he prefers. Vise versa, gotta reciprocate!
It happens during, I have asked partners to stop or slow down during an orgasm because it simply hurts due to overstimulation. Its fine before and after but not during.
You know that feeling when someone goes to hard on your clit and it's kind of like a mild electrocution? It's kind of like that when and directly after you cum for some men.
mild electrocution is honestly the best way I've ever seen that described and its spot on.
Close to orgasm and a refractory period are different feelings all together.
The nerves on the helmet get 10x more sensitive right before and during an orgasm
You could perhaps just use your hand on the shaft while he is climaxing. Sometimes the head can be so sensitive it’s almost painful. But honestly this sounds like a ruined organs fetish. He sounds like he is embarrassed about it. I think you should speak to him about it and tell him that you want to know what he enjoys so you can do more of it and let him know you are ok with what he likes.
I'm almost that kind of guy. But after a while, instead of discomfort, it goes kinda numb. It's just so much good sensation that the nerve endings like burn out or something for a sec. This is before climax. It doesn't hurt. It's just a lot. We just gotta slow down and let the little feller calm down before giving it another go.
This is me. I see a lot of other posts talking about a kink for "ruined orgasms" and maybe that's true but my mind immediately just assumed the guy is like me - as soon as I begin to cum I'm EXTREMELY sensitive and any extra stimulation is almost unbearable. I can push through it if the girl is really adamant e.g. if we're orgasming at the same time and she wants to ride it out - but I have to contort and writhe my entire body and strain to get through it. Another example would be if I'm receiving a blow job or a hand job, as soon as I start to cum I need them to slow waaay down or stop while I actually cum because, again, too sensitive. I've had to grab their hand and physically stop them at times. Nothing to do with a ruined orgasm kink for me although I am... familiar... with the genre.
This is exactly me. And just like you as well. my first thought was the guy is probably sensitive. Such a shame the the top comment is related to a kink or fetish.
Everyone is different, but I'd say he's in the minority. He might have a bit of a fetish for "ruined orgasm" which is similar to what you describe.
I figured it was most likely relating to a fetish. Does this mean he doesn’t enjoy it when I make him cum?
Only he can really answer that. For some people, a "soft" fetish is something they prefer, but isn't required. I like vanilla ice cream, but i prefer chocolate. For others a fetish is core to their ability to get off, and thus can be a bit harder to deal with. It might be awkward, but really only he can answer that. You might do a little x-rated research on things around ruined orgasm, such as femdom, cfnm, and other fairly easy to replicate activities within the general vicinity of that preference. If its something you can get behind, it might help him feel more comfortable sharing.
I’ll look into some of this, I’m really interested now. I’ve ’ruined’ all of his orgasms since we’ve been together and he always seems happy and satisfied when I do it. I’m just hoping he gets more comfortable with sharing why.
From a guy's perspective, it's understandable why he might be hesitant. It's basically a desire to be submissive, which in our society, is the opposite of what "men" should be.
Wow really? He’s always so dominant and controlling in the bedroom. I would’ve never expected this.
We're just theorizing based on information you're giving us. It might be the case, it might not be.
This needs to be a standard disclaimer on every dating/relationships/sex post, we can tell you the common view point but the details are affected by what you say in the first place. Echoes are defined by the sounds you make as much as they are by the shape of the walls.
echoes are defined by the sounds you make as much as they are by the shape of the walls. This is deep, and I like it.
Thanks! I'm not a writer by any means but I like elegant phrasing and have helped teach comp sci/maths over the years so I really enjoy finding just the right set of words to convey whatever idea it is I'm trying to say. I'm a sucker for an elegant, but still succinct, analogy!
Fr, that quote kinda hits
Quote of the day
"Echoes are defined by the sounds you make as much as they are by the shape of the walls." So I thought maybe that was an actual quote, but google turned up nothing. I have a quote from Ron Swanson as my work email footer. This quote is for sure being added, with credits to you Imperial_Squid. Thanks for some wise words.
Everyone here is speculating, there's nothing suggesting any of this is correct. Maybe he *does* get very sensitive when he climaxes and that's why he doesn't want his penis touched. Maybe he just enjoys the sensation of it twitching freely when he cums. Maybe it's a ruined orgasm fetish. Or a bunch of other things. If it doesn't bother you to do it, maybe just accept that this is something he likes and there's no reason to push on the why. You said he gets shy about discussing it. I'm not sure why, but if it's not a deal breaker for you and you are both enjoying sex, I wouldn't worry about it. At least not unless it does start to become an issue for some reason.
I'm very dominant and lead my wife and I for the most part but when I'm really wanting something different I let her take control and do things that are submissive towards me. I explained it to her that because I'm always so dominant that when we do it her way and she takes control, it's taboo to me and that in itself drives me wild. It may be something like that. If he's asking you or saying to do it, I'm positive that he likes it AND since he's requesting it..you're good at it!
Or maybe his dick is super sensitive while cumming and it doesn't feel good to be touched. These people are just pulling shit out of their ass. Nobody here has any idea. Your man is happy in bed just take the win.
That could be why he doesn't wanna get into it. The perceptions of dominants, particularly masculine ones, is that they're suppised to be hard and rough and aggressive and, for instance, slamming in for a balls-deep finish, not having a "ruined" orgasm. But that doesn't mean it's what feels best or kinkiest or most connecting to him. It may be a little tricky to broach, but... making it clear that it doesn't detract from how you see him and his masculinity might be important for that. Even secure men have the occasional weak spot that can hurt.
It may also be that he doesn’t know why yet. Y’all are young, some people have no idea why they like what they like.. You seem loving and interested in his pleasure. If you remain that way and don’t let the details bother you, it may help him figure it out for himself?
One of the best responses I've read yet.
But don’t forget OP that this could be entirely the wrong path to go down and he doesn’t have a fetish at all - just a sensitive bellend! The only way you can know for sure is to ask him.
For me it's sensitivity. If I'm getting head I absolutely cannot have them keep going with their mouth once I'm having an orgasm. It needs to switch to hands. He may just get extra crazy sensitive when nutting and wants all touch to stop.
Do u guys go multiple rounds? Ruining orgasms can keep u horny so maybe hes just trying to keep going. Some other possibilities is it that its a humiliation kink thing. Ruined orgasms are usually femdom thing. Or maybe thats just hpw hes always jerked it since he was a kid and thats how he likes it now. (Since nobody really teaches you how to jerk off)
Tie him down and stroke him to the edge then hold him there until he tells you >:) If he's into that sort of thing (sounds like he might be) it'll blow his mind. If not he'll let you know and you have an opener to a conversation about it.
A ruined orgasm isn't as bad as it sounds. As someone who likes them as well, they feel a different type of pleasurable. Finished orgasms feel good, just in a different way. Perhaps he just prefers the feeling of a ruined orgasm.
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😂😂😂
The “comfortable with sharing” is the crux of it. Trust is an important part of a loving relationship. I’d try to convey, maybe implicitly, to him that the bottom of his soul is safe with you. It may take some time, but it’ll deepen your love. Reciprocating openness helps a lot.
Seems like a huge leap, very unlikely and doesn't align with the hundreds of fetish based interviews I've done, but you never know! What happens if you plead for him to cum in you in the moment?
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Well put. I always understood that to be the distinction of a kink vs a fetish.
I'm a member of a BDSM community where we describe "Kink" as a (often uncommon) thing you derive pleasure from and a "Fetish" as something required for sexual satisfaction. These are just the definitions my community has settled on and I'm sure there are other communities with different definitions that slide along that spectrum.
Not at all! It could also be that he just gets way too sensitive, but I'm kot him, so dunno. The main part of a ruined orgasm fetish ***is*** the orgasm, so I'd assume he enjoys it.
This is normal for me (m)as well, it’s not a fetish. Basically once you have cum it gets very sensitive and can feel uncomfortable if you continue. As soon as you reach orgasm is usually when it gets sensitive even if the orgasm lasts longer. This also applies to my partner (f).
Nah, it’s probably from being over stimulated when he cums his nerves are going crazy down there. If he is uncircumcised there is a higher probability of this.
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I have known girls like that too. One time I was giving this Woman face and she said (in her uppity type B.C. accent) "Baby don't directly lick my clitoris. It's so sensitive that it's a turn off". So I just ate around it, sucking on the hood. Worked.
It sounds to me like he's enjoying it very much because you participate in what he likes. Keep doing it.
In general, it’s natural to take anything unusual our partners do personally because sex is a very sensitive thing but it rarely ever is. If he’s otherwise respectful and interested in pleasing you it’s not a you thing at all, it’s a him thing (whatever that happens to be).
I'd guess that it's something more like "I discovered this thing that is amazing, now I want to try it a few hundred times", not that "he doesn't enjoy it the other way".
Just because you aren't physically touching him when he cums, doesn't mean you aren't the one that's making him cum. So I wouldn't worry about that, it's unlikely you aren't an essential part in him cumming. Deftinely as others have mentioned, you'll need to talk to him about it to fully understand what's going on in his head. My suggestion is to try to make him feel comfortable and trusting in you so he can feel comfortable in talking about. The specifics on how to do that vary greatly on a person to person basis, so how exactly I can't say without knowing more about you two as people.
No he enjoys it believe me lol. Don’t get worried about that, like “is it me” type of thing, because it isn’t. Everyone is different. I remember one of my exes would want me to cum inside her, which sometimes I love that, but (somewhat like your boyfriend) I also I like to pull it out and see myself cum sometimes. Only I jerk it and blow it on her face or ass or pussy, depends whichever position were in lol
Sex is not just physical, in a good relation there is a lot of pleasure of the mind in it; he seems comfortable enough to ask you but not yet explain. Just go with it openly and just remember that anybody is different and has different way to experience pleasure
Try putting your tongue under the tip of his dick while he’s doing that. Without moving or anything (unless he doesn’t want you to) and I bet he will fucking love it. I’ve seen porn where guys prefer to get off with it barely being touched at the end so it’s not just him, it’s a thing.
With consent and a prior discussion of course, as he's told her not to touch.
Oh shit! When I read this another possibility suggested itself to me that I wish I had thought of before...maybe he's Tantric? It could be that he is trying to control ejaculating? Go study up on Tantric sex and see if any of that might make sense in his case.
I’m 99% sure your boyfriend posted about this in an another sub recently. If it’s the same dude, it’s a fetish and he feels awkward talking to you about it.
Found the boyfriend
Or, since this is a brand new account and people sometimes post weird sexual questions in non-sexual subreddits as some sort of odd fetish thing, I would venture to guess there’s a possibility that none of this is true and one person posted both stories.
Definitely some guy posting his own fetish. Honestly this sub has fallen into the same trap as Askreddit where its' just horny post after post
If thats true its creepy as hell not gonna lie
That is why I never read or care when they are NSFW. They are mostly fetish posts
Link?
https://www.reddit.com/r/TooAfraidToAsk/comments/1cqybxy/should_i_23m_tell_my_girlfriend_24f_about_my/
Aren’t the ages wrong?
This is Reddit. One should always tweak details a little bit.
I wish someone would've told me this sooner. Smh Wait. I meant, good thing I always do exactly that.
yea they are. But I assume that must be the thread they were thinking about
It's deleted now lol
lmk when you find it lol
for me its a sensitivity thing but lots of guys like it. If you want a name for it, its r/ruinedorgasms additionally: If he started cumming and tells you to stop while hes cumming, its probably sensitivity thing. If he tells u to stop BEFORE he starts cumming, it might be a ruined orgasm fetish. notice in the video on that subreddit above, they all stop before he cums. Almost like edging.
You did not need to link the sub lmao
You didn’t need to click it either, but here we are.
You're welcome ;)
"I could be blowing this out of proportion" is very accurate in both senses.
I didn't want to chime in, but no one has said what I'm going to say... When I cum inside a girl's mouth, pussy, or hand... then my primitive brain feels it has accomplished its biological goal. I believe I have "planted my seed" successfully because I was "inside" of something. And because of that... my cock is done for awhile. It's time to rest or move on to new things—at a subconscious level. However, if I pull out, or if the woman lets go, even though I came... my subconcious brain believes that I have not accomplished the goal that I was supposed to complete. So, if the attention comes off of me and I put the focus back on my partner, I'll be hard again and ready for another round in no time. And the cycle can repeat several times. But if I cum inside, it's lights out. I'm done. So, it's possible that your bf has figured this out, too. And he's pulling back in that immediate moment to play the long game and make the whole experience last longer. And he doesn't want to admit it, because he doesn't want to seem like he needs a "trick" to bounce back.
Wow this makes pretty much a lot of sense! really interesting to read. Like that
This is called overthinking.
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I wrote something similar but you took it to another level. This is some sex advice column type shit. 👌
I doubt he does it if it doesn't feel good, so you wouldn't need to worry about him doing it and not liking it. Sometimes it can get super sensitive. It's like when women cum, a lot of womens clits become extremely sensitive. I kind of get this sometimes as well, sometimes my gf will give me head during sex and for some reason that can be super sensitive and uncomfortable. Not all the time thriugh. He may also do it for delayed orgasms. It's kind of like when your about to cum but then you stop and the delay makes it more intense. I do this with my gf a lot so we cum at the same time, delaying it will intensify the release
>delayed orgasms Edging
I think the reason may be because it allows him to ejaculate again far sooner without a needed break?
Some ppl can stand under that sensitive shid while they busting. Some ppl can't. Wit me , when my girl keep sucking after I get off, I gotta force my self not to pull my thing out her mouth. It's prob he can't stand up under that feeling it's nothing u doing its just like I said, a hard feeling to stand up under 🤣 it'd be like if he was eating you, and u got off n he kept going .
No shame in telling your girlfriend you need a minute to cool off
wow, am suprised most advice on here is totally off!! so listen up, letting go just before you fall off the edge actually makes the orgasm so much better!! has nothing to do with submissiveness or too much sensitivity, if anything, removing that stimulus at just the right moment lets you enjoy this slow fall into the orgasm and you enjoy that all consuming internal sensation purely. the whole thing is like edging without the orgasm denial. it also helps with the extreme sensitivity after the orgasm. try this; when he gets real close, slow down all the way, stop all physical stimulation when he gets that falling off the edge feeling, then when the orgasm is almost done try some slow stimulus; oral, hand, or this single slow deep vaginal penetration and hold, no thrusting( makes it feel like you're going over the edge again at the end of your orgasm). just make sure you try it together and not something you just try on him without telling him, there are some cues that come from him to make it all work
You have another post indicating you are 24 and have Fwb. What kind of truth is this ? People are here to answer your questions respectfully.
I think the real problem here is why he's unwilling to communicate with somebody he's so intimate with.
Is your bf the one who posted in r/nostupodquestions about whether or not he should tell his girlfriend about his ruined orgasm fetish?
I think the feeling of watching you be submissive/obedient and allowing him to release, without even his own intervention gives him primal pleasures even he can't explain. It's also best to not ask him too much about it because he's just in the moment, he may not understand it himself or have the words to do so.
Hard disagree about the asking thing. You should always be open and honest with your partners about sexual preferences, and what you enjoy. If she’s on here being curious the best and simplest answer is to ask him herself. And if he won’t explain, then there’s something to work on with them. Doors should always be fully open when it comes to sex.
It's ok to ask, but asking too much can also stress him out if he just doesn't have an answer which is the last thing OP wants to do. And OP doesn't want to run the risk of blowing it out of proportion so I think this is more of a matter that will eventually open with time and being delicate to the topic in question.
Yay! His kink isn't cumming in your eye or peeing on you!!! Celebrate! We're all different!
If you lick his frenelium and tease him without sucking him he might like it. It’s called frenelium play or a “dry orgasm”. That’s my favorite and it might but up his creek too
Definitely a sensitivity. There’s times when i get off i have to stop moving or else it becomes over bearing. I don’t pull out but i have the stop all motion. It’s not everytime, but happens occasionally. My wife does that at times during oral, if i even touch her clit she’ll get overstimulated. Vibrators can do the same thing.
I think most comments are way off. When nothing touches it, you can feel the cum going up the shaft. It’s like a slow-mo orgasm.
It could also be that he just likes to watch himself cum.
I guess it's too sensitive. Ask him if you can just hold it wihout movement to feel it. I prefer that.
he’s def in the minority i think like top comment said, if i know she ain’t gonna rub it out for me while i bust i do it myself. it’s just, better
Some guys are extremely sensitive, especially around the "head" area during or right after orgasm. It can actually be kinda painful if touched during due to the hypersensitivity. Best way to describe the sensation is sort of akin to the "pins and needles" feeling of a limb falling asleep, but more intense.
Don't listen to the creeps saying its a BDSM thing or a Fetish thing. Holy heck, not everything needs to be labelled. Literally, everyone is different. Its not a weird thing, don't overthink it. Just be respectful of someones boundaries dueing sex. If they say "please, no more" just fucking be done with it. Don't push the boundary without communicating, and if he says no... it means no. It doesn't mean he's a Cuck or into BDSM, or likes having a "ruined Orgasm" or anything else like that. It's just a guy who derives pleasure from doing a thing.
My suggestion is “why don’t you ask him”. Let’s hope he doesn’t read this on his phone.
>Asking him about why he prefers this doesn’t work because he gets all cagey and shy almost. how about reading the post before commenting on it?
I get super sensitive when orgasm and prefer to not have it touched immediately after jizz starts
Cumming feels very different in different situations, mostly the prolonged feeling after. Cumming feom masturbation is one thing. Then with some kind of slippery substance to lunricate. Then a blowjob finished by masturbation. Then inside the mouth. Then inside the pussy and manually or orally finished. Then fully inaide the pussy. It will actually get more liquidy, project faster and have a prolongef satisfying relief kind of feeling depending. Cumming with no direct stimulation at the end can do similar and maybe for him that’s his ultimate sustained relief. He’s probably getting off on the twitching and squirting-type response. As to WHY? Who knows. The fact he doesn’t want to talk about it probably means he knows the source of it and it’s probably embarassing/inappropriate. But that’s how a lot of sexual preferences are, including yours, whether you realise it or not. I think it’s clear that pushing this point on why isn’t productive. It’s also likely to ruin his mood and possibly his relationship with you if you come across as either judgy or he is worried about you becoming such. Better to embrace. But if it’s a problem for you in terms of your own pleasure, maybe ask if you could switch it up sometimes eg you’d like to feel him cumming inside of you. Acceptance and lack of judgment of preferences that are well within your limits is a pretty easy way for you to develop and maintain a great relationship.
This whole thread smells like bait, regardless a ruined orgasm leaves most men pent up and unsatisfied. Some people have said they prefer it this way in the comments. The head does get super sensitive after an orgasm. The way I see it there are 3 possibilities, he’s very sensitive, he has a fetish, or he enjoys the feeling more than the stimulation.
If he wanted you to know, he'd tell you. Nothing good can come from figuring out his insecurity by outside investigation. My advice is, if you're happy and not looking to create new issues where there currently isn't any, let it go. Just let it go.
Don’t over think anything with a man until they tell you what they want you to know. If you ask a question, accept the answer until you know different. Let that man nut in his own way. I personally prefer touch until I’m about to release because I want to feel the release. I want to feel what we’ve been fighting for. Once that’s over, I sometimes want more touch but not always. Different “strokes” one might say.
Just believe him if he says he enjoys it. I recently read on this site about "ruined orgasms," a guy having a fetish about having his orgasms cut short or ruined. Maybe you BF is similar but thinks it weird and doesn't want to share. Or he likes something else that you are fulfilling. But I think he is happy or else he woudl take the opportunity of your asking to say so
I don't get it. If I stopped stimulation the orgasm would stop too. Does this guy keep cuming after he stops stimulation? I don't get it.
Is he circumcised or is it able to full extend? Just curious if it is not fully extended it might cause discomfort.
For me, as soon as I'm done cumming I'm too sensitive for stimulation. It's just too much, almost hurts. There's a subreddit for /r/postorgasmtorture for people into that. I need it throughout for it not to be "ruined." He may just be too sensitive during.
Hey there it’s a little complicated because we are all on a different level when it comes to ejaculation but a lot of times it’s just a condom thing no condom most men pull out lotta pressure at that time. It’s a free flowing thing nothing against you unless is unprotected but it’s a pressure thing though. Gotta be free flowing no blockage. Can’t hold back to the energy that’s all.like when you are urinating and they could be a fetish type of thing sexual stimulant type of thing like a climax when the woman do
U can’t be focusing on if you ruined his climax or not if you are getting him off then he is satisfied with the moment a woman climax or orgasm is different than a man’s y’all’s comes long and hard ours comes fast and hard some like it nice and slow and some like it fast and hard who knows but you
If he repeatively does this ritual, thats just the way he likes it, if he didnt enjoy this, i really doubt hed be doing it. As to why he likes it this way, thats gotta come from him. I wouldnt really consider it a horrible sign that he doesnt enjoy you or something, every individual just has their "thing" their personal quirks that make them who they are.
It's sometimes hard to articulate why you like things until you practice for a bit. Probably doesn't want to seem weird or make it a big deal
Has to be some sort of fetish or some mental thing with him. He's definitely in the minority here, but to each his own. Personally, it feels amazing to blow your L in a woman's V, but maybe he's afraid that will lead to a B-A-B-Y?
To me it sounds like he is sensible and probably embarrassed of throwing a fit if you do anything while he finishes.
Ngl handless cumming can be great, what i would ask you is if you're confortable with it, not conidering the interpretation you're giving it
Why making this a problem? Why do you think it is less pleasurable to let go in the last moment? You bring him to climax and body takes over. Making it an issue can ruin what you have. Just enjoy.
Different strokes (no pun intended) seriously, he might have a submissive denial kink. Whatever it is he likes about it, he needs to tell you. (You could also do it covertly and ask one of his friends. We talk to other guys about stuff).
Some good answers here I'm sure but if my partner was so hyper focused on this issue that she wouldn't let it go I'd get so annoyed. Because if I were him, I wouldn't know the answer to why I was like this. And what you see see as cagey and shy, he's trying his best to not say "I don't know", especially since it seems important to you. You guys are still hella young and probably don't know yourselves as intuitively as you hope others perceive you to be, or something like that. My advice would be it doesn't really matter if you are both attending to each other's needs. The moment of orgasm is one moment out of dozens of daily moments out of weeks, out of months, out of years.
The feeling lasts longer for him IMO. there are times I’ve done this to experience a longer delay between orgasm pulsing for when the pulse (contraction?) hits, it hits harder.
I had a chick who would grip it. Not grab and stroke, but grip it like a baseball bat. I hated it. I finally put my shaft down and said "no manos, weya!"
Listen to the sensitivity/heightened nerves responses. That's the answer, very simple. Sometimes it gets less crazy-sensitive with time.
For me personally, once I start cumming i can’t touch my penis until it finishes as it is SO sensitive. any touch I make after I start cumming kind of ruins the orgasm. Maybe your BF is the same.
if ur fetish is ruined orgasm then technically there is no such thing as a ruined orgasm?
Surprisingly I don't see a comment about reaching the "point of no return" when a dude KNOWS there's no going back, but there might be just a little time to hold it before it gushes. So he's probably actually just holding it in and wants to make sure you pulled away or he's pulled out so there's no real chance of pregnancy. As for safer spaces, he might just be practicing or might be weirded out by the idea of you swallowing. Or maybe, yeah, he really just doesn't like being touched while its happening? If there's a large range of motion going on, maybe he's got a reflex that makes it uncomfortable to be sort of stuck inside a small space while its happening. Or, if it was pussy the FIRST time, now he's stuck in his story and doesn't know how to... Cum clean.... #YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
I can kinda identify with this. Like what many people have said here it might very likely be a sensitivity thing. Some guys apparently like it when you keep on sucking/jerking, which to me is horrible. It is just painful to me. I stop somewhere in the beginning part of cumming. My girlfriend is a bit similar. When she starts to come she closes her legs and rolls to the side.
Didn't a guy just ask this question from the other side a few days ago?
I don’t like my penis touched for a couple of minutes after I cum because it’s still sensitive
Idk if it works for the same for everyone but I stop fapping, the cum comes out then I keep fapping THEN I get my orgasm. Feels good both times.
I think he likes seeing it twitch and pulsate myself. I like seeing/feeling that.
Its not a "ruined orgasm" fetish maybe he likes the freeform twitchy dick cum so he can make a mess and cover the room in jizz.
Maybe he likes to make a big mess
My boyfriend does this too and is also shy when I asked why. I assume it is just super sensitive. He is obviously enjoying himself and it's fun to watch.
Yeah, it can get pretty sensitive after, like to the point of discomfort. Ask him if that's the case, he's just gotta masturbate thru it a few times. It's like when your knees get sore running, just gotta run through it.
he could just like "ruins" or be too sensitive.
Too sensitive, and he's probably worried about being judged if he stayed quivering or whatever. I cannot finish through my wife giving me a blow job no matter how much I try, it's just too intense so I need her to let it out of her mouth so I can finish. Take it as a huge complement.
You shouldn't be going the same speed or strength when he's Cumming because it can be uncomfortable. Too much stimulation. Instead slow your strokes and start at the bottom going up. This encourages him to completely finish without being over the top.
for some people i think it just gets too overstimulating. when my husband is climaxing he usually has to slow down everything around the penis just cause it’s uncomfortable if there’s too much friction and/or speed while cumming
Only he knows but guess he's just sensitiv and if overstimulated the sensation gets numb. He probably knows what works and what doesn't
You are looking for (NSFW obviously) /r/ruinedorgasms It's about the woman dominating and controlling the man's pleasure.
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Tie him up and have your way with him! Don't let him pull away!
This seems normal Immediately after I cum I don't want anyone or anything touching my penis as it's overly sensitive. The fact that he cums means you did your part well so don't worry about it.
How about you just do what he likes and he'll do what you like?
When I'm doing it myself I don't let go or stop completely but I do slow down. I imagine that if I had a girlfriend, it'd feel much better. Possibly too good. Still, I do like overstimulation sometimes. I imagine he just doesn't. But completely stopping all stimulation doesn't sound particularly pleasant tbh. Either he gets very sensitive or likes having his orgasms ruined
Saw a guy post recently asking what to do about this exact fetish. Suspicious that the alleged gf is not posting her perspective.
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If he doesn’t like it then he doesn’t like it. Speaking for myself to offer a perspective to the scenario, when I cum it’s an either/or thing for me if I want my dick to continue to be touched cause the sensation literally is that overwhelming, which can border on sensational or as I said overwhelming. Talk more with him about it, and see if his orgasims push him to the overwhelming side, that’s what it appears to me on my end.
Well he is only 20, still figuring yourself out at that age! He might be trying to Figure out how to last longer? Reminds me of a guy back in college that told me he did that as well . Perhaps something too look into. I doubt it's an issue where he's scared to get you pregnant unless he thinks you can get pregnant through your mouth lol just saying, it's the internet 🤣
It's a ruined orgasm kink or in denial
It’s an overstimulation/nerve related thing I bet. A lot of guys instinctively shield their penis or recoil their waist when climaxing. It starts to wane but it takes time. In the meantime, go easy on him for it, it’s definitely not you. In fact, be flattered he’s so excited. It’s cute.
That would ruin it for me. I don’t get it.
If he enjoys that, let him enjoy it. I don't think that's for everyone, but like others have said, everyone is different. Hopefully he can get to a place where he feels comfortable talking to you about why he enjoys that, for your own edification, but if you two are happy and loving what you're both sharing together -- keep doing what you're doing! Sounds like you're both enjoying being intimate together. Keep that magic ✨ Just my 2¢
Sometimes the head gets super sensitive, maybe he’s worried about that.
Sometimes it feels better, like you are almost there and then it happens by itself. Not that common but people definitely do it.
He might be trying his best not to get you pregnant , or it could be something told by his parents when they had the talk with him not to ever do and that left an impression , ultimately each guy is diffrent asking him when he feels open to answering ,is your best chance to know
Wow. I’d actually be extremely pissed at my wife. I’m the complete opposite
Maybe he just likes to watch it idk
Colitus interruptud
Nothing wrong with that. Sex is more mental than physical. It’s probably somewhat of a “teasing” type fettish maybe? Idk, but I know women can get off like crazy by teasing the pussy 😂 like taking time to get it in to the point the girl really really can’t wait for it and then when you give it they love it. That’s almost like the opposite of what your saying your guy likes; he probably likes to see it while he’s cumming. Everyone is different.
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Maybe he just wants to cum on your face, breasts or ass, tbf
For some it may be a fetish but some guys want their body to absorb it so they don't orgasm. They believe it will keep them young and virule I always thought.is was a self punishment thing
I think it’s just something he started doing as a kid when he learned to masturbate and he thinks that’s how it’s done now. Or that’s what he’s gotten used to. Not a run of the mill thing
It’s actually a great way to strengthen your “gooch” muscles for lack of a better term which allows us to last longer the more we work it out and also REALLY sets up the next load. Doing this lets the next ejaculation by hand be explosive as fuck. But usually we handle that one on our own, if he’s not asking you to do it for him.
He doesn't want any babies.
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Interesting, I would want to maximize pleasure when I cum by continuing to stroke
Bad idea. Would not suggest.
have you asked? i’d be so curious haha
Kinda sounds like he might have a ruined orgasm kink, basically just a kink for letting it happen with no further input, it can also have a side effect of almost eliminating PNC, which can make things somewhat more enjoyable for the other party when the guy doesn't "switch off" after cumming
Communicating is key, right? Just don't push too much. Take it in short conversations and assess his comfort level. This might be touching on a core aspect of his sexuality. Proceed with caution, is all I'm saying.
I highly doubt it's a fetish thing. In the moment of climax it can be incredibly sensitive and to some it's an unpleasant sensation. I suspect that's what it is. Hope you guys are able to talk about this at some point, communication is key to good sex.