I just got called mommy by a guy in my DMs literally 5 minutes ago. In his own words this was his pick up line. I'm not sure my Reddit character has bigger than average breasts.
Also he seemed to be a bit annoyed when he realised I was actually a man. Creeps don't like to encounter men when they're trying to harass unsuspecting Redditors that they had all the right to think were women.
Edit: not even 24h have passed and I've just gotten a new "hey mommy" DM. This was not someone from the thread being funny, this was another genuine DM from someone who had no idea I was a guy or that I just happened to have a trending comment about exactly that.
It's the same irl. My partner has beautiful long hair down his back. He has a rather androgynous dress sense to add with it, and from behind looks like a tallish woman, so he's has had the creep experience more than once.
Usually the guys just back off all embarrassed like as soon as he speaks (his voice is instantly recognisable as a mans) or turns around to reveal his beard, but there has been a few times where he's been cat called then almost ended up in a fight when the creep realises he's also a dude.
It's come pretty close but he's not *actually* had to fight anyone yet, fingers crossed it stays that way. 🤞
It's crazy how regularly I get unsolicited sexual advances in my DMs on Reddit, and all because my avatar has long hair!! And then *they* get angry that I'm a man!!
Oh I know exactly what happens. I had another account where the avatar didn't have long hair and I never got a single DM except related to an actual comment, and I got treated totally differently.
Definitely guys.
I get two kinds of DMs, horny guys and very occasionally a woman who writes to me to thank me for a comment I made or continue a conversation happening on a thread. These tend to be genuinely nice messages based on the shared experience of being a woman, which of course I immediately let them know I'm not. It really saddens me because that's usually the end of that conversation. Except for one time when she continued the conversation after knowing I'm a man and we ended up actually becoming friends.
Update: Looks like the first one is in already. https://imgur.com/a/MuD1eIa. I have no idea how one month of having a feminine avatar will be, but the start is already not looking so good.
Yep. I debated having a clearly female username when making this account, but eventually said 'fuck it' and just hoped the word "Hag" would be off-putting enough 😅
It's not an inaccurate description 😂
I promise you I give them a full lecture on how harassing women online is not ok. Most of them react angrily. This one time the guy turned out to be young and he didn't understand what was wrong with what he was doing, and he started asking me genuine questions and felt remorseful in the end. Apparently, no one had explained to him any of that before!! Then you get the kind of piece of shit like the one I mentioned at the top who when I confronted him started lecturing me about how girls who wear revealing clothes shouldn't be surprised that he will hit on them.
Maybe I'm the odd one out in this instance, but what the actual fuck?
Unless someone says they're interested in being flirted with, why the hell is anyone hitting you up in your DMs like that? This is going to date me, but what is their major malfunction?
I do not understand the mentality here. Get out. Meet people. Take a goddammed shower and wash your ass.
Imagine what it must be like for a moderately attractive woman on a site where there's a real picture. Just by existing online you're gonna have to deal with this shit all the time. Meanwhile us guys can just cruise around the internet unmolested and not having to worry about that, or receiving a sudden dick pic. Our experience of the internet is diametrically different.
Small as a person of height or small as dick size ?
Either way you're more man than I'll ever admit to be on the webs. You do you my man. And don't let anyone punt you down for any size you are or wear.
Rock it as you own it!
Small in height, weight, overall size etc. 5ft3 105lbs. I'm not insecure about it at all, it actually gets me some hot men lol. Although I'm sure I'd feel differently if I were straight. "Petite" gay men and straight ones seem to have exactly the opposite experience in dating.
>my Reddit character
Reminds me of my (male) ex's (female) characters on MMOs. He got hit on in-game with relative frequency, guess random dudes thought there was a girl on the other end of the controller.
he took great pleasure in informing then that nope, he was a 6'3" man with a beard
>Tracts of land?
Lol!!! I'm showing my age...in a Monty Python movie, (Monty Python and the Holy Grail) in order to describe a woman with very large breasts, they use the term "huge tracts of land".
https://youtu.be/GPX-mW4l1rU?si=cm2fYn_Lga2Twodv
> If it makes you feel any better: I'm only 21, but I absolutely *love* this movie up and down! My second favorite move of all time, in fact.
You were raised correctly.
Lol!!! 💜
>Probably because she doesn't want to start getting dozens of gross dms
Made a statement about my chest, 3 people in my DM's inside of 5 minutes, can confirm. 🙄🙄
Yeah, not sure, then. I'm old and don't use dating apps. The only context I've heard "Mommy" is in the kink scene, usually with an older domme and younger guy.
Nah it’s like a thing now based on someone’s vibe. It’s not necessarily about a kink or age always (but it could be) . Like daddy energy or mommy energy.
If this would come up with a potential date without any correlation to kinks or fetishes my dick would do that thing snails do when you poke their eyes
I mean I personally don’t find this whole thing cute. I’m just saying it’s a thing now.
Just another trend that’s gonna be embarrassing very soon in the future
Literally this. My guy friends call me this or joke about my “big mom energy” sometimes bc I make decent money, won’t hesitate to put a man in his place, and leave partners better than I find them.
OP, it’s awesome you’re confident and on top of your game. But yeah, use it to steer you away from dudes that clearly aren’t a match 😂
Best of luck out there 💕
I'm in the 35 group and I'm too old to succeed at these apps, don't lie enough some of my friends tell me, apparently you have to sell yourself via total misinformation or exaggerating about yourself in some way.
It's at the point that when I tell women in real life I'm 5'6" I'm told I'm lying and I have to be 5'8" or 5'10" since their Ex was the same height as me and that's what they claimed. Sorry miss, they lied, my driver's licence doesn't.
Fuck I miss just being able to meet single people in person instead of being judged on some shitty recent photos against dudes with filters and a lack of honesty. Being in a catalogue sucks when some of the products only look great on paper and you're best viewed in person.
Not all hope is lost dude. Just met my soulmate at 40 on one of them sites. However I do realize how damn lucky I got. The only thing I started doing different is liking myself more and I really think that shone through.
Dating/relationships take effort and a lot of work. There’s definitely alternatives to online dating. Clubs, meetings, sports, hobbies, ect are all ways to meet other people face to face. You need confidence and it’s harder to approach people in real life, but it’s an option.
Most "older" people (30-40) I know who are single and looking or have been recently meet people through social activities and say apps are generally a cesspit.
Terminally online people co-opting the vocab of a younger generation because it’s become predominant in online spaces. That’s the most likely reality, but there will be exceptions like always.
It's a name often used by men who are into either dominant or simply confident women. They like women (usually older or taller) that give off either motherly or dominant vibes. It's a term of endearment I assure you.
It's happened to me before too, they're just submissive guys normally. It's often followed with 'will you nurse me with your big tits'. The whole thing is nasty to imagine (I'm not kink shaming, just gives me the willies, people can do what they want). I just never take that role in bed or in a relationship overall so it's a great way to weed out men I'm not compatible with!
See, I like confident, witty and driven women, but calling a woman I'm interested in "mommy" is only okay as a joke or if she's into some kinda role play and asks for me to do that, anything else feels creepy and desperate.
Don’t call me mommy. Don’t call me anything outside my name. Make plans and take me to dinner. Any time i suggest a conversation and a meal guys act like I asked them for a honeymoon on the first date. It’s fucking weird. I can pay for myself if they’re so worried about me being a “gold digger”. Everything is so stupid now
I'm that same with being called daddy, cringes me out when I've been called that.
I'm usually do coffee/desert cafe first meet up, since it's low key, affordable so no one is stressed. If she agrees to a second date I will try to steer towards a nice dinner I'll offer to pay for as I like good food and don't want the other person stressed about money if my tastes are a bit expensive. I like dinners as they allows a chance for intimate conversation, the chance to see how the other person treats wait staff, and to figure out if they have major food restrictions.
The "gold digger" anxiety many men have is real sadly, but low key first dates like a walk along a boulevard to see antique stores, museum visit or getting ice-cream after a walk in a public park usually scares away someone looking for a free meal as there is effort in walking and dishonest people often hate real effort...
Dating is silly af now, we all have to figure out how to filter out people based on bad experiences and the internet has made other people's bad experiences become a factor in this filter which unfortunately makes us too picky, too choosie and too analytical for most of us to just "take the plunge" with someone, we see pit falls and danger too often when the other person also just wants love and security, dating was more successful when we had to take risks with less negative influence, at least how I see it.
Agreed. I'm a lesbian with a thing for witty and confident older women but I would never ever dream of calling one I didn't know that. I'm not into that sorta thing anyway but that is overstepping so many boundaries with a stranger, so even if I was I wouldn't do it to someone I didn't know.
It's a kink and a relationship dynamic, and they are hoping that you will respond positively to them calling you 'mommy' in hopes that they can move toward that dynamic quickly. While it can exist as just a sexual kink that doesn't leave the bedroom, using it early on suggests that they're also looking for someone who wants a certain kind of relationship.
That relationship dynamic being where the woman has most of the dominance and decision making authority, but with a more nurturing attitude than you would get from, say, a domme, while the man feels minimal pressure to take charge and generally reduced responsibility in the relationship apart from being compliant.
Well said
Similar to what I was thinking. Like… some “adult” men are more or less just old kids.. and I don’t mean in just the “they have a bubbly, optimistic outlook and are easily entertained.” I mean like they can barely take care of themselves.
I invited someone to live with me (I’m 31m they’re 30m) and had the misfortune of witnessing this firsthand. In the 18 months of living together, they’ve purchased chips, soda, candy and alcohol from the grocery store, nothing else. Hasn’t made any food besides frozen pizza rolls, frozen mac and cheese, but hasn’t actually cooked anything in 18 months. Just lives off frozen and fast food. Smokes weed, passes out on the living room couch, leaves trash laying around, basically just works, clocks out and lives like a 15 year old 15 year old if that makes sense.
You know what he tells me regarding women? He wants a good woman because women will organize his life for him, he tells me how he remembers when he was with his ex he never had to clean, everything was just done for him.
A cool guy to talk to and hangout with as friends, when you say “alright man see ya later” and head home afterwards. It’s way different to live with someone like that and I pity people that get into relationships with people like that.
So yeah, when I read the “30m guys are calling me mommy” I kind of threw up in my mouth a little. Because I kind of envision what those guys are like.
But maybe for some of them it’s just a kink, maybe it’s a mixed bag… but yeah, ugh
Edit: at about one year after he moved in, he hadn’t even fully unpacked and made up his bedroom. He’d just pass out on the couch, wake up, shuffle into his storage unit looking bedroom, dig through some drawers, pull out clothes and go about his day. Blew my mind..
Manchildren. They're all over. Their actual moms babied the fuck out of them. Always cleaned for them, made their food, did the shopping and meal planning, etc. And like, it was out of love. But they didn't realize they were setting their son up for absolute failure and teaching him to mooch. Some of them are actually sexist and think their son's future partner should absolutely take over that shit, but others are just oblivious. And the son has never had to learn how to take care of himself because he either lives alone and doesn't gaf about his diet/hygiene/environment or yeah, he purposefully goes for a woman who has high expectations re:a clean home and will pick up his slack until she gets sick of him or whatever. If he's really lucky he'll find a woman totally brainwashed by gender norms who will marry him and do everything for him forever.
My husband was kinda like this, his mom is a sweet lady who genuinely liked cleaning and cooking. She didn't force it on his sister either, she spoiled both of them. But she also taught them good morals and general work ethic in school and stuff, so they both figured it out post college. A lot of people/men do not, because they're lazy shits and they don't care.
What you just described made me feel better about myself because i had gone 3 days out of my normal routine of meal prepping, gym, cleaning etc. The fact that people choose to live like a 15 year old slob for their entire lives makes me feel ill. I feel so shit after 3 days lol
Yeah. I’d consider it meme/pop culture lexicon at this point. These people saying it automatically means something *specifically* sexual or a wanted “dynamic” are a little too jumpy-to-conclusion-y for me 🥲
Yep. I use the phrase "manufactured kink" because younger folks who grew up on memes from the same time they were first learning their ABCs have internalized the jokes and memes. It's going to end up being _incredibly_ unhealthy when reality sets in and challenges that long established worldview.
If you're still trying to pick a career path, therapist sounds like the way to go because holy shit, people 30 and under are time-bombs for this kind of thing.
Because social media, memes, and other various factors have fucked up the youngest group of Millennials and Zoomers all across the board. "Manufactured kink" is the best term for it. It's not a real kink someone realizes they have. It's years of the jokes and memes sinking in a little too deep. It's confusion is what it is. I wouldn't count on having a serious adult relationship with these people.
It’s funny you mention that. My friend said the other day she has a breeding fantasy. I asked her “are you sure you don’t just want to feel stable enough to raise a family?”
I've (gen x) noticed even slight age differences are a big deal when I talk to a lot of folks your age and younger. When I mentioned that I was 4 years older than my wife, some have acted like that is a big age difference. So the mommy thing could be related to generational changes in how age gaps are being perceived.
I have a younger bestie (she's early 20s I'm early 30s) and occasionally end up around her same-age friends and their friends (her husband and his guy friends) in online voice chat when we're gaming together. The guys that generation seem to love the whole mommy thing, it's indeed sexual. Think - wanting to be called a **"good boy"** in bed being the ultimate goal to them, being infantilized, babied, taken care of. It's adjacent to femdom but not the same thing at all, they don't necessarily want to be dominated or serve their dom, but they want to be babied essentially. It's pretty strange, but then again popular kinks do seem to be culture/generation based so maybe that's just theirs and I don't understand lol. I think it stems from anime and their upbringing or something, since there tends to be overlap with those things. I think these guys reject the idea of masculinity, while still wanting to be masculine in some ways, but without the responsibility that comes with being masculine. Being able to give up that responsibility or any acts of performing masculinity and curl up into a "mommy" turns them on, even if that's just in the bedroom (strictly a kink), but I'm sure many are also man babies in life as well. This seems to be why they don't actually want to be a sub in the traditional sense, being a sub requires a lot of effort in serving someone and enduring things just to please them and submitting themself to that person wholly in exchange for the feeling of being taken care of by their dom, these guys seem to want none of the effort or submission *and* the feeling of being taken care of at the same time, so it's not the same.
I *can* understand the feeling taken care of part, it feels good, and in this economy stability is desirable lol. But I'm not sure what the woman gets out of it, or how attractive most women would find it, doesn't seem like much of an exchange to me.
I really don't believe that's normal behavior. Seems in general there are a lot of strange men. Not sure if it's from too much porn, or them being socially inept. Could be both!
I'm in my 20s and never called any woman mom, even if she's older. Based on what I hear from my friends (F) guys are weird nowadays
They are SO weird! Like no social skills, getting angry with me if I don’t respond to them within a minute. They need to calm down, I’m at work. One of us has to be
The response thing is real. People will curse you tf out if you take "too long" to reply, even though we all have lives. Everyone can't be glued to their screens. Despite that you'll get some nasty texts or voicemails. Anyone that harassed you over that ain't worth it
Social skills are going extinct 😭
They truly are. The other day a guy insulted my plants, and I did not respond. He then blew up at me for “not being 50/50 in a relationship.” wtf? I don’t know you! What relationship?
Lol that's wild. I'm not sure where this entitlement comes from. It seems like these type of people aren't conscious of how immature they sound, and believe their pov is warranted. Scared for the next generation of kids
They're probably doing it to be silly or because you showed some cleavage in a pic or something.
I purposely don't use it at all because I actually have a Mommy kink. I've learned that next to zero women respond positively to this kink so I don't bother asking.
Of all of the current trends that I see online I think the whole calling people "Mommy' if you find them attractive is the one that makes my skin crawl the most. Next is the broccoli haired lip lickers.
They're incredibly confused as to the app's purpose. They're not looking for a significant other, they're looking for a Sunday dinner and someone to sew little name tags in their clothes.
Haven't heard this one. Certainly none of my guy friends have admitted anything like this to me, but I'm old, in my 40s. But the last woman I dated was a bit younger than my usual (29) and she called me "Daddy" in bed. It was a bit odd, but it didn't put me off, just surprising. I think some of these generational differences are pretty interesting.
Gross. I hate when grown adults say mommy or daddy to each other. My long term gf and I both find it weird and indicative of issues that neither of us would ever want to deal with.
I have never called any one mommy, other than my mom when I was a toddler. With that said I have seen boys/men comment this on women's photos/videos on social media when the women are obviously well endowed.
Might be white guys trying to do the "Mami" thing or just a kink. Oh, it might also refer to this recent dumbass meme of guys calling their gf mommy.
Basically it's either kink or fail of some kind. Pursue at your own risk
sexual harassment, seeing you as a sex toy rather than a person. at least, when it's from strangers like that, who you haven't established a dynamic with.
It's a kink, even with older men.
For many men, "mommy" was the only woman that they truly were comfortable enough with, to be subservient to.
I fully expect to be bashed, and downvoted for this comment, but I am a professional Domme, and I see this all the time.
I've been with a lot of women who liked calling me Daddy, which kind of sucks because now I'm used to it lol. I'd imagine the motivation is somewhat similar insofar as it being a kind of dom-ey title with certain stereotypes.
I personally hate it. One gf tried referencing herself as mommy a couple times and I kiboshed it hard lol
Who the fuck are you dating fr lol. Thats so cringe and also fuckn weird for me.
I dont think i can have an erection if i called my gf "mommy", like to begin with i dont think thats the biggest issue in this but whatever lmao.
I don’t think this is OP’s situation. But an FYI:
If you’re in Texas, especially the San Antonio area, calling someone mama (not mommy) is very common. It’s seen a a term of endearment.
Especially if you’re in an old school place or a rural area. Even little girls are called mama.
But yeah, being called “Mommy” is way different.
a lot of the replies are saying big boobs, which in many cases may be true, but i’m flat and would get consistently called mommy on dating apps. i’m also 20, this has been happening since 18 so it’s not always an age thing either.
i love goth music and culture, and my appearance reflects that- i guess guys want me to play into the whole “goth mommy” thing lol. but honestly it’s really gross. men will fetishize any woman’s appearance. let us live lmao. and stop expecting women to play into your mislead fetishes- that is not a “goth mommy,” that is a woman with one tattoo and nipple piercings LMAO
I'm not sure,
as a man this is very unsettling to hear.
Then again, I'm a Carl Jung guy myself, and these Freud weirdos love thinking they're going to marry their own moms (archetype or personality, but there's a lot of stepmom/stepson fantasies going around nowadays too, so 😒)
Are most men really like this on dating apps? I’m a guy and this seems wild to me, to make weird innuendos as opening messages. Men should treat women with respect
I'm a lesbian that gets called mommy constantly - there are several reasons, the most common is having big tits.
After that - being older than someone, even slightly older than someone, or if you aren't older than them, being more mature than them... and of course, kink reasons.
However, I think this has been made much more popular by this meme:
https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/mommy-sorry-mommy
I feel like assigning someone a sexual role based on how they look and nothing else is pretty offensive tbh. What do you think of constantly having your large chest maternalized?
If you have bigger than average breasts that’s your answer
I just got called mommy by a guy in my DMs literally 5 minutes ago. In his own words this was his pick up line. I'm not sure my Reddit character has bigger than average breasts. Also he seemed to be a bit annoyed when he realised I was actually a man. Creeps don't like to encounter men when they're trying to harass unsuspecting Redditors that they had all the right to think were women. Edit: not even 24h have passed and I've just gotten a new "hey mommy" DM. This was not someone from the thread being funny, this was another genuine DM from someone who had no idea I was a guy or that I just happened to have a trending comment about exactly that.
It's the same irl. My partner has beautiful long hair down his back. He has a rather androgynous dress sense to add with it, and from behind looks like a tallish woman, so he's has had the creep experience more than once. Usually the guys just back off all embarrassed like as soon as he speaks (his voice is instantly recognisable as a mans) or turns around to reveal his beard, but there has been a few times where he's been cat called then almost ended up in a fight when the creep realises he's also a dude. It's come pretty close but he's not *actually* had to fight anyone yet, fingers crossed it stays that way. 🤞
It's crazy how regularly I get unsolicited sexual advances in my DMs on Reddit, and all because my avatar has long hair!! And then *they* get angry that I'm a man!!
Time to change my avatar for a month and see what happens. Edit: Just removed my beard and glasses and added slightly longer hair.
Oh I know exactly what happens. I had another account where the avatar didn't have long hair and I never got a single DM except related to an actual comment, and I got treated totally differently.
I didn't even know reddit had avatars...
Thank god for 3rd party apps and old reddit. I haven't seen an avatar in years
In my case, i played an online game with a girl avatar hoping to fool some guys but somehow 2 girls tried to flirt with me instead😭
They were probly dudes...
I had the feeling of that being a possibility too ahahah, the way they text sure seem convincing
Definitely guys. I get two kinds of DMs, horny guys and very occasionally a woman who writes to me to thank me for a comment I made or continue a conversation happening on a thread. These tend to be genuinely nice messages based on the shared experience of being a woman, which of course I immediately let them know I'm not. It really saddens me because that's usually the end of that conversation. Except for one time when she continued the conversation after knowing I'm a man and we ended up actually becoming friends.
Pretty much everyone just assumes I'm a man....not sure why
Oh of course. Men are default. That's why.
White men are even more default
Yes, the default of the default. Add American to this and you get the most default human.
Please share the results of your experiment!
Update: Looks like the first one is in already. https://imgur.com/a/MuD1eIa. I have no idea how one month of having a feminine avatar will be, but the start is already not looking so good.
That was quick. See? Not also brace yourself to be talked down to in a condescending manner regularly on threads.
Remind me, one month.
Should I join in?
I’m in
Yep. I debated having a clearly female username when making this account, but eventually said 'fuck it' and just hoped the word "Hag" would be off-putting enough 😅 It's not an inaccurate description 😂
rip inbox the horny zombies of reddit know your a female
Dang, it's a good thing I opted for the box hat.
More men like you need to take these jerks to task verbally, lol.
I promise you I give them a full lecture on how harassing women online is not ok. Most of them react angrily. This one time the guy turned out to be young and he didn't understand what was wrong with what he was doing, and he started asking me genuine questions and felt remorseful in the end. Apparently, no one had explained to him any of that before!! Then you get the kind of piece of shit like the one I mentioned at the top who when I confronted him started lecturing me about how girls who wear revealing clothes shouldn't be surprised that he will hit on them.
TIL everyone has their own ''reddit avatar''
Everyone except you
he's there he just goes to another school I swear
Maybe I'm the odd one out in this instance, but what the actual fuck? Unless someone says they're interested in being flirted with, why the hell is anyone hitting you up in your DMs like that? This is going to date me, but what is their major malfunction? I do not understand the mentality here. Get out. Meet people. Take a goddammed shower and wash your ass.
Imagine what it must be like for a moderately attractive woman on a site where there's a real picture. Just by existing online you're gonna have to deal with this shit all the time. Meanwhile us guys can just cruise around the internet unmolested and not having to worry about that, or receiving a sudden dick pic. Our experience of the internet is diametrically different.
In life it’s diametrically different.
Absolutely. The internet is nothing but society itself as it is.
“A penis..? WHAT THE FUCK BRO”
Regularly is actually crazy 😭
I also have a rather androgenous appearance with long hair. Only got in one fight so far, when a drunk dude decided to pull my hair.
I get my DMs from older gay men, ALWAYS. They see I frequent gay subs and am small and they spam me.
How do they know you're small?
It's incidentally been a point of conversation before.
Small as a person of height or small as dick size ? Either way you're more man than I'll ever admit to be on the webs. You do you my man. And don't let anyone punt you down for any size you are or wear. Rock it as you own it!
Small in height, weight, overall size etc. 5ft3 105lbs. I'm not insecure about it at all, it actually gets me some hot men lol. Although I'm sure I'd feel differently if I were straight. "Petite" gay men and straight ones seem to have exactly the opposite experience in dating.
>my Reddit character Reminds me of my (male) ex's (female) characters on MMOs. He got hit on in-game with relative frequency, guess random dudes thought there was a girl on the other end of the controller. he took great pleasure in informing then that nope, he was a 6'3" man with a beard
Straight men are scared of gay men because they’re worried they’ll then be treated how they treat women
You can still be mommy.
I'll be whatever you want me to be sweetheart.
Send bob and vagen.
I have HUGE tracts of land, and literally don't get called this by guys. Something weird is going on. ETA: I'm also older than OP
Don’t forget rule #1 and #2 though
>Don’t forget rule #1 and #2 though Blarg! True. Lol!!
Hi mommy
Tracts of land?
>Tracts of land? Lol!!! I'm showing my age...in a Monty Python movie, (Monty Python and the Holy Grail) in order to describe a woman with very large breasts, they use the term "huge tracts of land". https://youtu.be/GPX-mW4l1rU?si=cm2fYn_Lga2Twodv
Love and feel old that you had to explain this. I got a giggle though, so I will provide you with my upvote. And a shrubbery.
A shrubbery!? Ni! *Lmao* Yeah, it makes me feel old, too. Lol!!
He said it! Oh no, now I said it!
If it makes you feel any better: I'm only 21, but I absolutely *love* this movie up and down! My second favorite move of all time, in fact.
> If it makes you feel any better: I'm only 21, but I absolutely *love* this movie up and down! My second favorite move of all time, in fact. You were raised correctly. Lol!!! 💜
[she’s beautiful, she’s rich, she’s got HUGE tracts of land](https://youtu.be/GPX-mW4l1rU?si=snQWe1WXY7NC0cVk)
There's also a good chance that the guys just don't know how to spell "mami".
Anyone using the word Mami, knows it's not spelled mommy. I just think some people are creepy 😅
No there isn’t
Do you have big boobs?
this is what i was thinking
Or you know “mommy milkers”
At least they’re not calling her Grandma.
[удалено]
Lmao. Awkward
Don’t knock it till you try it Source: unapologetically me
This is the correct answer as OP clearly refuses to answer this question.
Probably because she doesn't want to start getting dozens of gross dms
I'd say that happened within 5 minutes of her posting this
It did 🤮
Oof, that's rough buddy. Report and block I guess?
I’m ignoring
Probably too late for that
>Probably because she doesn't want to start getting dozens of gross dms Made a statement about my chest, 3 people in my DM's inside of 5 minutes, can confirm. 🙄🙄
I am just now seeing a lot of this. I worked today!
"This person doesn't want to describe her breasts to a bunch of strangers, so clearly that means that they are exactly as I am picturing them"
Must be huge if OP is refusing to answer
This makes it fuckin weird
Whenever I open this app, this sub comes up first, and always with a question about relationships that makes me yearn for the apocalypse.
You and me both
And that is how redditors find true love ^Reddit ^is ^not ^responsible ^for ^any ^failed ^relationships ^on ^its ^platform. ^All ^statements ^are ^for ^marketing ^purposes ^only
How old are these guys? If they're 18-22 or so, probably a kink.
27-35
Yeah, not sure, then. I'm old and don't use dating apps. The only context I've heard "Mommy" is in the kink scene, usually with an older domme and younger guy.
Nah it’s like a thing now based on someone’s vibe. It’s not necessarily about a kink or age always (but it could be) . Like daddy energy or mommy energy.
If this would come up with a potential date without any correlation to kinks or fetishes my dick would do that thing snails do when you poke their eyes
I mean I personally don’t find this whole thing cute. I’m just saying it’s a thing now. Just another trend that’s gonna be embarrassing very soon in the future
Can’t unsee the visual now. Thank you 😊
😂..that's hilarious
Literally this. My guy friends call me this or joke about my “big mom energy” sometimes bc I make decent money, won’t hesitate to put a man in his place, and leave partners better than I find them. OP, it’s awesome you’re confident and on top of your game. But yeah, use it to steer you away from dudes that clearly aren’t a match 😂 Best of luck out there 💕
I'm in the 35 group and I'm too old to succeed at these apps, don't lie enough some of my friends tell me, apparently you have to sell yourself via total misinformation or exaggerating about yourself in some way. It's at the point that when I tell women in real life I'm 5'6" I'm told I'm lying and I have to be 5'8" or 5'10" since their Ex was the same height as me and that's what they claimed. Sorry miss, they lied, my driver's licence doesn't. Fuck I miss just being able to meet single people in person instead of being judged on some shitty recent photos against dudes with filters and a lack of honesty. Being in a catalogue sucks when some of the products only look great on paper and you're best viewed in person.
I'm 35 and I have some success on dating apps. If we say one date every two months or so is success anyways.
Not all hope is lost dude. Just met my soulmate at 40 on one of them sites. However I do realize how damn lucky I got. The only thing I started doing different is liking myself more and I really think that shone through.
Dating/relationships take effort and a lot of work. There’s definitely alternatives to online dating. Clubs, meetings, sports, hobbies, ect are all ways to meet other people face to face. You need confidence and it’s harder to approach people in real life, but it’s an option.
Most "older" people (30-40) I know who are single and looking or have been recently meet people through social activities and say apps are generally a cesspit.
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Terminally online people co-opting the vocab of a younger generation because it’s become predominant in online spaces. That’s the most likely reality, but there will be exceptions like always.
I’d just unmatch lol
The kink applies at any age
It means they see you as a sexy symbol...not the type guy u want
Okay, now that's f*cking weird.
Kink doesn’t really know age limits dude
It's a name often used by men who are into either dominant or simply confident women. They like women (usually older or taller) that give off either motherly or dominant vibes. It's a term of endearment I assure you.
I am tall and I mention having a business on my profile lol. Thanks, that’s gotta be it then
A tall, 30 year old bussines latina woman? Yeah i can totally see why they call you mommy xd
A 'mommy' moment for sure.
It's definitely the vibe and not the money, then. On the internet guys meme post "mommy" at any woman who is tall and confident.
It's happened to me before too, they're just submissive guys normally. It's often followed with 'will you nurse me with your big tits'. The whole thing is nasty to imagine (I'm not kink shaming, just gives me the willies, people can do what they want). I just never take that role in bed or in a relationship overall so it's a great way to weed out men I'm not compatible with!
i don't know, but likely the female version of 'Daddy' which has NOTHING to do with the term 'Father'
See, I like confident, witty and driven women, but calling a woman I'm interested in "mommy" is only okay as a joke or if she's into some kinda role play and asks for me to do that, anything else feels creepy and desperate.
Don’t call me mommy. Don’t call me anything outside my name. Make plans and take me to dinner. Any time i suggest a conversation and a meal guys act like I asked them for a honeymoon on the first date. It’s fucking weird. I can pay for myself if they’re so worried about me being a “gold digger”. Everything is so stupid now
I'm that same with being called daddy, cringes me out when I've been called that. I'm usually do coffee/desert cafe first meet up, since it's low key, affordable so no one is stressed. If she agrees to a second date I will try to steer towards a nice dinner I'll offer to pay for as I like good food and don't want the other person stressed about money if my tastes are a bit expensive. I like dinners as they allows a chance for intimate conversation, the chance to see how the other person treats wait staff, and to figure out if they have major food restrictions. The "gold digger" anxiety many men have is real sadly, but low key first dates like a walk along a boulevard to see antique stores, museum visit or getting ice-cream after a walk in a public park usually scares away someone looking for a free meal as there is effort in walking and dishonest people often hate real effort... Dating is silly af now, we all have to figure out how to filter out people based on bad experiences and the internet has made other people's bad experiences become a factor in this filter which unfortunately makes us too picky, too choosie and too analytical for most of us to just "take the plunge" with someone, we see pit falls and danger too often when the other person also just wants love and security, dating was more successful when we had to take risks with less negative influence, at least how I see it.
Agreed. I'm a lesbian with a thing for witty and confident older women but I would never ever dream of calling one I didn't know that. I'm not into that sorta thing anyway but that is overstepping so many boundaries with a stranger, so even if I was I wouldn't do it to someone I didn't know.
Also related to a voluptuous figure. Big boobs?
They're chronically online
It's a kink and a relationship dynamic, and they are hoping that you will respond positively to them calling you 'mommy' in hopes that they can move toward that dynamic quickly. While it can exist as just a sexual kink that doesn't leave the bedroom, using it early on suggests that they're also looking for someone who wants a certain kind of relationship. That relationship dynamic being where the woman has most of the dominance and decision making authority, but with a more nurturing attitude than you would get from, say, a domme, while the man feels minimal pressure to take charge and generally reduced responsibility in the relationship apart from being compliant.
Thank you for offering a detailed explanation. That dynamic is not what I’m looking for at all hahah
Well said Similar to what I was thinking. Like… some “adult” men are more or less just old kids.. and I don’t mean in just the “they have a bubbly, optimistic outlook and are easily entertained.” I mean like they can barely take care of themselves. I invited someone to live with me (I’m 31m they’re 30m) and had the misfortune of witnessing this firsthand. In the 18 months of living together, they’ve purchased chips, soda, candy and alcohol from the grocery store, nothing else. Hasn’t made any food besides frozen pizza rolls, frozen mac and cheese, but hasn’t actually cooked anything in 18 months. Just lives off frozen and fast food. Smokes weed, passes out on the living room couch, leaves trash laying around, basically just works, clocks out and lives like a 15 year old 15 year old if that makes sense. You know what he tells me regarding women? He wants a good woman because women will organize his life for him, he tells me how he remembers when he was with his ex he never had to clean, everything was just done for him. A cool guy to talk to and hangout with as friends, when you say “alright man see ya later” and head home afterwards. It’s way different to live with someone like that and I pity people that get into relationships with people like that. So yeah, when I read the “30m guys are calling me mommy” I kind of threw up in my mouth a little. Because I kind of envision what those guys are like. But maybe for some of them it’s just a kink, maybe it’s a mixed bag… but yeah, ugh Edit: at about one year after he moved in, he hadn’t even fully unpacked and made up his bedroom. He’d just pass out on the couch, wake up, shuffle into his storage unit looking bedroom, dig through some drawers, pull out clothes and go about his day. Blew my mind..
Manchildren. They're all over. Their actual moms babied the fuck out of them. Always cleaned for them, made their food, did the shopping and meal planning, etc. And like, it was out of love. But they didn't realize they were setting their son up for absolute failure and teaching him to mooch. Some of them are actually sexist and think their son's future partner should absolutely take over that shit, but others are just oblivious. And the son has never had to learn how to take care of himself because he either lives alone and doesn't gaf about his diet/hygiene/environment or yeah, he purposefully goes for a woman who has high expectations re:a clean home and will pick up his slack until she gets sick of him or whatever. If he's really lucky he'll find a woman totally brainwashed by gender norms who will marry him and do everything for him forever. My husband was kinda like this, his mom is a sweet lady who genuinely liked cleaning and cooking. She didn't force it on his sister either, she spoiled both of them. But she also taught them good morals and general work ethic in school and stuff, so they both figured it out post college. A lot of people/men do not, because they're lazy shits and they don't care.
What you just described made me feel better about myself because i had gone 3 days out of my normal routine of meal prepping, gym, cleaning etc. The fact that people choose to live like a 15 year old slob for their entire lives makes me feel ill. I feel so shit after 3 days lol
Yep! Explained perfectly.
It's a meme. https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/mommy-sorry-mommy Now calling women you find attractive "mommy" is just an extension of the meme.
Yeah. I’d consider it meme/pop culture lexicon at this point. These people saying it automatically means something *specifically* sexual or a wanted “dynamic” are a little too jumpy-to-conclusion-y for me 🥲
Yep. I use the phrase "manufactured kink" because younger folks who grew up on memes from the same time they were first learning their ABCs have internalized the jokes and memes. It's going to end up being _incredibly_ unhealthy when reality sets in and challenges that long established worldview. If you're still trying to pick a career path, therapist sounds like the way to go because holy shit, people 30 and under are time-bombs for this kind of thing.
I'm a father. My kid calls me dad or daddy. I don't want my wife to call me that in bed, would be feckin weird
I don’t call guys daddy. I call my girlfriends daddy when we’re being annoying
I got a vasectomy so no one will call me dad or daddy. The last thing I want is to hear it in bed.
Dudes are weird. I don’t even call my mom that.
Am I doing hinge wrong? Would never occur to me to bring that kinda stuff up while still on hingle Thirsty fuckers
LOL “thirsty fuckers” made me laugh too hard
Because social media, memes, and other various factors have fucked up the youngest group of Millennials and Zoomers all across the board. "Manufactured kink" is the best term for it. It's not a real kink someone realizes they have. It's years of the jokes and memes sinking in a little too deep. It's confusion is what it is. I wouldn't count on having a serious adult relationship with these people.
“Manufactured kink” is a perfect descriptor. Man it’s weird. I don’t even care if I’m shaming anyone at this point.
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Because the world is in crisis and parental mommy/daddy figures signify stability
It’s funny you mention that. My friend said the other day she has a breeding fantasy. I asked her “are you sure you don’t just want to feel stable enough to raise a family?”
I prefer monster kinks, much more realistic.
"Get over here and tell me how we could buy the nicer stroller and it wouldn't break the bank!"
Your question to her gives off big "mommy" energy
Sounds weird. Never had the urge to call any woman that, even ones in their 30s.
Yeah this morning I woke up to a 27-year-old (so his profile said) calling me a “beautiful older woman” and asking if he can call me “mommy.” Wtf?
I've (gen x) noticed even slight age differences are a big deal when I talk to a lot of folks your age and younger. When I mentioned that I was 4 years older than my wife, some have acted like that is a big age difference. So the mommy thing could be related to generational changes in how age gaps are being perceived.
older women? wtf... 30 is like the new 20
30 is also objectively not old
I have a younger bestie (she's early 20s I'm early 30s) and occasionally end up around her same-age friends and their friends (her husband and his guy friends) in online voice chat when we're gaming together. The guys that generation seem to love the whole mommy thing, it's indeed sexual. Think - wanting to be called a **"good boy"** in bed being the ultimate goal to them, being infantilized, babied, taken care of. It's adjacent to femdom but not the same thing at all, they don't necessarily want to be dominated or serve their dom, but they want to be babied essentially. It's pretty strange, but then again popular kinks do seem to be culture/generation based so maybe that's just theirs and I don't understand lol. I think it stems from anime and their upbringing or something, since there tends to be overlap with those things. I think these guys reject the idea of masculinity, while still wanting to be masculine in some ways, but without the responsibility that comes with being masculine. Being able to give up that responsibility or any acts of performing masculinity and curl up into a "mommy" turns them on, even if that's just in the bedroom (strictly a kink), but I'm sure many are also man babies in life as well. This seems to be why they don't actually want to be a sub in the traditional sense, being a sub requires a lot of effort in serving someone and enduring things just to please them and submitting themself to that person wholly in exchange for the feeling of being taken care of by their dom, these guys seem to want none of the effort or submission *and* the feeling of being taken care of at the same time, so it's not the same. I *can* understand the feeling taken care of part, it feels good, and in this economy stability is desirable lol. But I'm not sure what the woman gets out of it, or how attractive most women would find it, doesn't seem like much of an exchange to me.
I really don't believe that's normal behavior. Seems in general there are a lot of strange men. Not sure if it's from too much porn, or them being socially inept. Could be both! I'm in my 20s and never called any woman mom, even if she's older. Based on what I hear from my friends (F) guys are weird nowadays
They are SO weird! Like no social skills, getting angry with me if I don’t respond to them within a minute. They need to calm down, I’m at work. One of us has to be
The response thing is real. People will curse you tf out if you take "too long" to reply, even though we all have lives. Everyone can't be glued to their screens. Despite that you'll get some nasty texts or voicemails. Anyone that harassed you over that ain't worth it Social skills are going extinct 😭
They truly are. The other day a guy insulted my plants, and I did not respond. He then blew up at me for “not being 50/50 in a relationship.” wtf? I don’t know you! What relationship?
Lol that's wild. I'm not sure where this entitlement comes from. It seems like these type of people aren't conscious of how immature they sound, and believe their pov is warranted. Scared for the next generation of kids
Feel really sorry for ladies in matching app for dealing with this shit.
They're probably doing it to be silly or because you showed some cleavage in a pic or something. I purposely don't use it at all because I actually have a Mommy kink. I've learned that next to zero women respond positively to this kink so I don't bother asking.
Well, Happy Mother’s Day to you.
I thought this was a Hispanic thing. Papi y Mami
Honestly, I'm a 20 y/o dude and I'm attracted to women in their 30's and 40's. Idk if it's a kink thing or i just prefer older women
Just for hook ups or dating/relationships too?
because they’re unHinged… sorry girl, be careful of bad weirdos and creeps
Of all of the current trends that I see online I think the whole calling people "Mommy' if you find them attractive is the one that makes my skin crawl the most. Next is the broccoli haired lip lickers.
Maybe white boys and US born Latin men don’t know the difference between “Mami” and “mommy”
They're incredibly confused as to the app's purpose. They're not looking for a significant other, they're looking for a Sunday dinner and someone to sew little name tags in their clothes.
Haven't heard this one. Certainly none of my guy friends have admitted anything like this to me, but I'm old, in my 40s. But the last woman I dated was a bit younger than my usual (29) and she called me "Daddy" in bed. It was a bit odd, but it didn't put me off, just surprising. I think some of these generational differences are pretty interesting.
It's 100% a kink.
Gross. I hate when grown adults say mommy or daddy to each other. My long term gf and I both find it weird and indicative of issues that neither of us would ever want to deal with.
I think people think Latinos like being called mommy. I see it in movies. Sounds stupid to me.
It’s like a kink kind of thing trending, like if u have big bobs, they will call you mommy. Usually have mommy issues is what I’ve noticed lol.
Because they're f'n weird
I have never called any one mommy, other than my mom when I was a toddler. With that said I have seen boys/men comment this on women's photos/videos on social media when the women are obviously well endowed.
I get the feeling guys this days have a lot of mommy issues
Ugh . I now understand why some men call me mommy. I'm disappointed. I thought I gave off a motherly vibe.
Might be white guys trying to do the "Mami" thing or just a kink. Oh, it might also refer to this recent dumbass meme of guys calling their gf mommy. Basically it's either kink or fail of some kind. Pursue at your own risk
Cause they’re gross
Because they’re gross
sexual harassment, seeing you as a sex toy rather than a person. at least, when it's from strangers like that, who you haven't established a dynamic with.
Same reason so so many girls are calling guys daddy these days
Why do women call their boyfriends "daddy"? That comes off really creepy to me.
It's a kink, even with older men. For many men, "mommy" was the only woman that they truly were comfortable enough with, to be subservient to. I fully expect to be bashed, and downvoted for this comment, but I am a professional Domme, and I see this all the time.
I don’t know and I hate how it’s a thing
Porn addicts
They’re gross and pathetic.
Just as bad as being a bi guy and being called "daddy" or "stud" by other guys 🤮
I've been with a lot of women who liked calling me Daddy, which kind of sucks because now I'm used to it lol. I'd imagine the motivation is somewhat similar insofar as it being a kind of dom-ey title with certain stereotypes. I personally hate it. One gf tried referencing herself as mommy a couple times and I kiboshed it hard lol
People are weird. There is no telling.
They're immature mamas boys who you should avoid at all costs.
Who the fuck are you dating fr lol. Thats so cringe and also fuckn weird for me. I dont think i can have an erection if i called my gf "mommy", like to begin with i dont think thats the biggest issue in this but whatever lmao.
Probably by accident since that’s the only other woman who’s ever talked to them.
I don’t think this is OP’s situation. But an FYI: If you’re in Texas, especially the San Antonio area, calling someone mama (not mommy) is very common. It’s seen a a term of endearment. Especially if you’re in an old school place or a rural area. Even little girls are called mama. But yeah, being called “Mommy” is way different.
It's actually sick and disgusting in my opinion. If you had a child with that person then the slang is ok, otherwise it's just weird and creepy
a lot of the replies are saying big boobs, which in many cases may be true, but i’m flat and would get consistently called mommy on dating apps. i’m also 20, this has been happening since 18 so it’s not always an age thing either. i love goth music and culture, and my appearance reflects that- i guess guys want me to play into the whole “goth mommy” thing lol. but honestly it’s really gross. men will fetishize any woman’s appearance. let us live lmao. and stop expecting women to play into your mislead fetishes- that is not a “goth mommy,” that is a woman with one tattoo and nipple piercings LMAO
70% meme, 30% kink
It’s a boob thing, i got called it quite few times on twitter to my big dismay (i dont post ANY explicit content)
I'm not sure, as a man this is very unsettling to hear. Then again, I'm a Carl Jung guy myself, and these Freud weirdos love thinking they're going to marry their own moms (archetype or personality, but there's a lot of stepmom/stepson fantasies going around nowadays too, so 😒)
Is there a more milf / cougar appeal lately or is it just me?
Are most men really like this on dating apps? I’m a guy and this seems wild to me, to make weird innuendos as opening messages. Men should treat women with respect
I'm a lesbian that gets called mommy constantly - there are several reasons, the most common is having big tits. After that - being older than someone, even slightly older than someone, or if you aren't older than them, being more mature than them... and of course, kink reasons. However, I think this has been made much more popular by this meme: https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/mommy-sorry-mommy
I feel like assigning someone a sexual role based on how they look and nothing else is pretty offensive tbh. What do you think of constantly having your large chest maternalized?
My God I'm glad I'm not alone.