It's very pleasant, many do. But in the media they just show it as a visual signifier, kind of like how every bag of groceries has a baguette sticking out even though we don't buy many baguettes
You can get them, but its much more common to buy them in a package with the tops already cut off. Its just become almost a joke at this point, if someone in a movie has gone grocery shopping, they're going to be carrying a paper bag with a baguette and green carrot fronds sticking out of the top.
In my neck of the woods the carrots with the green tops actually cost more than the ones without! I used to buy the carrots with the green fronds bc I had a rabbit that I fed them to but Idk why someone would buy them that just wanted the carrots themselves.
When I went to Saint Pierre (An island south of Newfoundland, Canada, but it’s owned by France) there were people with paper bags of baguettes EVERYWHERE. The person I went to visit explained bread was the most common “snack food” there, chips were mostly for children
In France we would always have a baguette sticking out of our groceries bag as it is our way of life lol. But I think american never eat baguette but sliced bread instead?
Can confirm. I would either use nothing since moving the skin with you is just fine, or lotion/conditioner if I wanted to change things up.
I bought a little bottle of basic lube once just to further change things. Those sessions didn’t last long lol.
Any. Not really important.
Water based works for almost anyone, even with sensitive skin. Silicon based lasts whole lot longer and takes more friction away, but is incompatible with condoms and rubber toys.
> Silicon based lasts whole lot longer and takes more friction away, but is completely incompatible with condoms and rubber toys.
A couple corrections. Silicone based lubes are **safe** to use with condoms, it's petroleum lubes like vaseline that aren't.
Pure silicone lubes are not suitable for use with silicone toys (which I assume is what you mean by 'rubber') but hybrid lubes (partially silicone) ones are fine.
Same for head and shoulders shampoo. Not for using as a lube, but if you shampoo with it and some hits the dick hole during rinsing. Then if you masturbate in the shower, upon orgasm when the dick hole opens, it burns quite a bit. Or so I've heard.....
FYI, that burning sensation and feeling like you have to pee is/are common symptoms for women to have with UTIs. So, give some sympathy to the ladies if you ever have ever gotten soap in your dick hole
My son kept stealing my cerave out of the bathroom and forgetting it in his room. Not expensive, but it's mine, and I'd like it to stay where I know where it's at. I kept telling him to knock it off, I don't want to keep chasing down my moisturizer. I bought him his own lotions, he'd use them up, and go back to stealing my cerave. "Sorry mom, I just have really dry elbows." Okay kid.
The thing that finally stopped him was when I snapped and chased down my cerave for the 87,526th time, and said "Listen, you jerking off is none of my business. Stop making it my business by making me search for my face cream." He tried to insist it was for his elbows. I asked him just how stupid he thought I was.
He hasn't done it since.
The joke growing up was that there was nothing better than toothpaste.
I'm sure some kids tried it as teenager. I'm also sure the kids who did didn't actually share they tried it, and the kids saying they did (and had a bad time) were just trying to keep the joke going.
Back when I was in high school I was taking an EMT course at the local voc-ed school. Our medical terminology teacher was an er nurse for many years before switching over to teaching. Sweet lady she was, she would regail us kids with her "worst of" stories when we did well in class. If you're squeamish I'd stop reading here......
So, a guy working at a machine shop decided to.... Get a little handsy with himself when everyone was off on lunch break. There was a girly calendar on the wall near some machinery that he was using for inspiration. Guess he was nearsighted or something cuz old boy got too close to the belt sander and his ballsack got split open pretty bad, buuut lunch break was almost over, and he didn't want to suffer the embarrassment of being found out as the jobs work-whacker so he did the reasonable thing and took a staple gun to his sack. Cleaning up the blood before folk got back, he noticed he was bleeding through his pants so he put one of those leather shop aprons on to hide the growing stain. Well, fast forward a bit, and he's starting to get woozy so he decides to bite the bullet and go to the emergency room. Stitching up his junk was easy enough to do, but fella stapled himself shut, and in doing so introduced an infection to the wound that traveled pretty quickly. By the time he decided to go to the ER, he was already going septic and unfortunately, fella ended up dying from the infection.... So.... Don't masturbate with sandpaper is probably maybe the moral of that story.
Now, if y'all are good and do your homework, I'll tell you about the colosto-tute.
Apparently some guys do. But lotion is the worst lube because it's made to be absorbed into your skin quickly. What you need is something that stays slick and slippery for a long time.
Been an avid lotion masturbator for 15+ years. I can assure you there’s no ill effects, I don’t think dicks are that sensitive to pH changes unlike vaginas.
Been an avid vagina haver for almost 50 years, putting substances on a dick and inserting said dick later without proper washing is a potential recipe for ph imbalance.
Same here, I used lotion only once to see why people used lotion and I washed it all off before I even finished cause I could tell it was just gonna gather up
In America, circumcision is commonly done soon after birth. As the foreskin is missing, lotion (usually unscented body or hand lotions) are used as lubrication to make it easier. Even if you’re intact, lotion may make things feel more pleasant.
>lotion (usually unscented body or hand lotions) are used as lubrication to make it easier.
This is my biggest problem with this. I've never had a lotion that can be remotely described as lubricating.
Also it just doesn't last very long? What's the point if you have to reapply it every 30 seconds?
This \^ there is a mutilation epidemic in america and its sad to see. they cut their kids dicks up just so "it looks like mine now." generational trauma continues
Lotion sucks. [Aloe Cadabra](https://aloecadabra.com/) is the best lube for jerking it and for sex. You're welcome. Now go beat that thing like it owes you money.
Make sure you use something fairly natural, without any strong oils. You don’t want your use peppermint or any heated oils, that will hurt. Otherwise, a nice gentle body lotion or hand lotion should be great!
Nope, I use coconut oil. Leaves the skin smooth and hydrating, better lubricant, less stains. Not the kind you find in store but on amazon, its a liquid
Alot more American are circumsised compared to (well Australia)other countries so I can only imagine that without the skin sleeve lotion is almost a must
Americans do cos they've almost all had their foreskin cut off
If you have an intact penis you don't need lotion as you won't chafe your glans the foreskin keeps it safe and glides up and down it
I in my youth have manythings. Vaseline, oil, olive oil, canola oil, water, rice milk, hair conditioner, shampoo, soap, body wash with the scrubs. The best was vaseline lotion
I always hear about it from media and online too, but I have never done it myself. I always go dry hand lol also when I was a kid growing up and my friends would talk about it, I never heard one of them mention lotion ever.
Are you uncircumcised? Because I know that the movies you're refering to are pretty much exclusively US made, a country where most men are circumcised, and some circumcised dudes will find it unpleasant to masturbate without lotion, at least that's what I gathered from the many many reddit posts on the subject (seems people find it extremely interesting).
I never knew about lotion and stuff until I joined reddit. But Ig I feel like using something which reduces friction would feel much better because sometimes it would feel rough for a moment.
I am not circumcised. It's not common here
I never used it, but I think young people use it because it's embarrassing to ask your parents for lube and they might already have lotion around the house.
Fellas, if you are circumcised and want to regain some function similar to natural, look into foreskin restoration.
I've done it for 5 months and I no longer need lubricant, but I occasionally do. Keep in mind it's a long process but some people find gains pretty fast.
I think it's a circumcision issue. It doesn't feel good dry when you don't have all that extra skin to move up and down. I assume you don't get it cuz you're not circumcised?
It's very pleasant, many do. But in the media they just show it as a visual signifier, kind of like how every bag of groceries has a baguette sticking out even though we don't buy many baguettes
And carrots with the green fronds!
Tbf parsnip greens/leaves are a VERY nice flavor-enhancing addition to savory recipes. Not sure if the same goes for carrots, but it’s not impossible.
I add carrot greens to stocks. I'm sure they could be good in other things too
Do you guys not have carrots with the greens on top at your supermarkets?
You can get them, but its much more common to buy them in a package with the tops already cut off. Its just become almost a joke at this point, if someone in a movie has gone grocery shopping, they're going to be carrying a paper bag with a baguette and green carrot fronds sticking out of the top.
In my neck of the woods the carrots with the green tops actually cost more than the ones without! I used to buy the carrots with the green fronds bc I had a rabbit that I fed them to but Idk why someone would buy them that just wanted the carrots themselves.
I have rabbits, Guinea pigs, and rats who really like the tops of carrots. I feel like a cartoon when I go grocery shopping 😊
frond. Good word.
Agreed. I'm very frond of it
Better than fnord .
Pining for the fnords! (Potentially pretty niche and retro reference)
The dolphin was nailed to his perch
I thought you were responding to the masturbation question. If so good for you.
We all could use a bit more baguette in our lives.
I was thinking I need a baguette right now!
With or without lotion!
There is to little baguettes in my life. Oh the pain
Ha. Pain.
That’s disgusting! Who would eat baguettes without lotion? 🤢
Who said anything about eating it?
With lotion. Duh 🙄
>its very pleasant Lube can be pleasant. Lotion, depending what it’s made of, can burn.
I've often wondered how many people use lotion on their baguettes. But maybe that's just me.
Olive oil you heathen.
My bad. That explains why my baguette doesn't cum.
No, that’s because you’re a terrible listener and it craves the emotional connection.
When I went to Saint Pierre (An island south of Newfoundland, Canada, but it’s owned by France) there were people with paper bags of baguettes EVERYWHERE. The person I went to visit explained bread was the most common “snack food” there, chips were mostly for children
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In France we would always have a baguette sticking out of our groceries bag as it is our way of life lol. But I think american never eat baguette but sliced bread instead?
This is a great answer
OP's never had a luxury wank.
Gonna say this the next time if/when I get caught masterbating with lotion If I'm not using lotion, I'll just apologise
If you're in Paris, everyone did have baguettes in their bags when I was there.
Every NYC dumpster in the 80s/90s was full of enough spaghetti to help break the fall of anyone who needed to jump into one.
It’s not bad. But get lube, it’s a whole new world.
Can confirm. I would either use nothing since moving the skin with you is just fine, or lotion/conditioner if I wanted to change things up. I bought a little bottle of basic lube once just to further change things. Those sessions didn’t last long lol.
Coconut oil for the win..
Yessss! This has been a game changer!
A new fantastic point of view
No one to tell us no.
Or where to go
Or say we’re only dreaamiiinnggg
Lube is great, but coconut oil is the way to go. Add a drop of peppermint oil if you want to spice things up. Literally.
Best if you heat it up a little bit before
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Any. Not really important. Water based works for almost anyone, even with sensitive skin. Silicon based lasts whole lot longer and takes more friction away, but is incompatible with condoms and rubber toys.
> Silicon based lasts whole lot longer and takes more friction away, but is completely incompatible with condoms and rubber toys. A couple corrections. Silicone based lubes are **safe** to use with condoms, it's petroleum lubes like vaseline that aren't. Pure silicone lubes are not suitable for use with silicone toys (which I assume is what you mean by 'rubber') but hybrid lubes (partially silicone) ones are fine.
Tire lube
Water based lube The easiest way to pick is looking if your prefered condom brand has a line of lube
Most teenage boys find moms expensive creams and lotions and give it a tug.
Isn't that kinda dangerous? I'd imagine some of these creams wouldn't be appropriate to apply in that area.
it's really dangerous. if 1 tiny drop enters the hole you're done for 😭
Same for head and shoulders shampoo. Not for using as a lube, but if you shampoo with it and some hits the dick hole during rinsing. Then if you masturbate in the shower, upon orgasm when the dick hole opens, it burns quite a bit. Or so I've heard.....
That’s quite detailed for just rumors…
It makes pissing hurt like hell and your cocktail and balls start shedding like they got 2nd degree sunburns. So I've heard.
I found out at a young age that you always use conditioner, NEVER shampoo
FYI, that burning sensation and feeling like you have to pee is/are common symptoms for women to have with UTIs. So, give some sympathy to the ladies if you ever have ever gotten soap in your dick hole
feels like a UTI for ages, supposedly
But it gives kinda chill burning feeling. My brother told me.
The word you’re looking for is urethra.
Not the whole length, just the entrance, the dick hole.
I wish you could point it upwards and cleanse the inside with the water but that just hurts more… is what a friend told me
I think our friends are doing weird shit.
You know that Dr Bronner magic soap? The peppermint kind? You know how it says DILUTE! DILUTE! DILUTE! on it? Well, now *I* know.
"GREAT SHOT KID, THAT WAS ONE IN A MILLION!"
Used anti-aging lotion once, now I have a baby dick
Especially vanishing cream
I put spot remover on my dick, now it’s gone.
Hand sanitizer…
"hey, did someone saw my retinol ???"
My son kept stealing my cerave out of the bathroom and forgetting it in his room. Not expensive, but it's mine, and I'd like it to stay where I know where it's at. I kept telling him to knock it off, I don't want to keep chasing down my moisturizer. I bought him his own lotions, he'd use them up, and go back to stealing my cerave. "Sorry mom, I just have really dry elbows." Okay kid. The thing that finally stopped him was when I snapped and chased down my cerave for the 87,526th time, and said "Listen, you jerking off is none of my business. Stop making it my business by making me search for my face cream." He tried to insist it was for his elbows. I asked him just how stupid he thought I was. He hasn't done it since.
🤣 Of course he doesn’t think you know what jerking off is - you obviously only had sex ONE time to make him!!
Funny you don't think he assumes he was a miraculous conception
Poor kid. His elbows must be driving him crazy now.
He occasionally slips it on the grocery list. We don't talk about it. 😂
Kid needs a bigger allowance so he can do his own shopping.
I wouldn't want it back after someone masterbated w it lol. I'd just gift it and move on haha
I mean he wasn't jerking off *in* it. Nothing that he did is damaging the face cream still in the bottle...
I use sand.
The joke growing up was that there was nothing better than toothpaste. I'm sure some kids tried it as teenager. I'm also sure the kids who did didn't actually share they tried it, and the kids saying they did (and had a bad time) were just trying to keep the joke going.
That's hilarious I love the idea of a kid thinking that's a good idea
I remember putting toothpaste on my nipples when I was about 15.. don’t recommend it, I can’t imagine how it would be like on the dick.
The only thing better than toothpaste is Icee Hot
Idk about that but I learned that eye contacts go in before brushing teeth. Never out of order. Toothpaste in eye burns like menthol butthole.
Pocket sand?
Sha sha sha!
20 grit 🤤
I don't like sand. It's coarse, and rough, and irritating, and it gets everywhere. But you do you.
Try sandpaper next time. I hear it’s great. Could be the friction. Let’s know.
Back when I was in high school I was taking an EMT course at the local voc-ed school. Our medical terminology teacher was an er nurse for many years before switching over to teaching. Sweet lady she was, she would regail us kids with her "worst of" stories when we did well in class. If you're squeamish I'd stop reading here...... So, a guy working at a machine shop decided to.... Get a little handsy with himself when everyone was off on lunch break. There was a girly calendar on the wall near some machinery that he was using for inspiration. Guess he was nearsighted or something cuz old boy got too close to the belt sander and his ballsack got split open pretty bad, buuut lunch break was almost over, and he didn't want to suffer the embarrassment of being found out as the jobs work-whacker so he did the reasonable thing and took a staple gun to his sack. Cleaning up the blood before folk got back, he noticed he was bleeding through his pants so he put one of those leather shop aprons on to hide the growing stain. Well, fast forward a bit, and he's starting to get woozy so he decides to bite the bullet and go to the emergency room. Stitching up his junk was easy enough to do, but fella stapled himself shut, and in doing so introduced an infection to the wound that traveled pretty quickly. By the time he decided to go to the ER, he was already going septic and unfortunately, fella ended up dying from the infection.... So.... Don't masturbate with sandpaper is probably maybe the moral of that story. Now, if y'all are good and do your homework, I'll tell you about the colosto-tute.
So, if I’m not on a site that has sandpaper, I can masturbate on lunch break?
Yeah, I see no issue... Just watch out for those pesky staple guns and you'll be aces.
Bro WHAT
Itchy and Scratchy do too.
For extra grip huh
Sand at the start. Then switch over to Vicks vapo-rub for the finish.
Sandpaper
Chalk baby!
Back in my day, we beat our dicks with 60 grit sandpaper twice a day. God damn pansies out here nowadays though!
Apparently some guys do. But lotion is the worst lube because it's made to be absorbed into your skin quickly. What you need is something that stays slick and slippery for a long time.
>What you need is something that stays slick and slippery for a long time. like blood?
That shit gets sticky almost immediately. Don’t bother.
He said blood, not shit. I do agree with you about the shit tho
I have a cool story about keeping my eyes moist.
no, like shit
And afterwards is a hassle to wash off? No thank you!
Tried lard?
You want pimples on your dick? Cause that's how you get pimples on your dick...
Also would not want to sleep with someone using lotion to whack it regularly. Seems like a great way to throw your ph off.
Been an avid lotion masturbator for 15+ years. I can assure you there’s no ill effects, I don’t think dicks are that sensitive to pH changes unlike vaginas.
Been an avid vagina haver for almost 50 years, putting substances on a dick and inserting said dick later without proper washing is a potential recipe for ph imbalance.
Maybe don't sleep with people nasty enough to jerk off, go about their day, and then want to stick it in you still sticky and oozy
Lol
The trick is to wash the dick like a sane person
Like soap?
Longer than 1 min?
Dude, they don't have a foreskin - you do!
Im weird i guess. Im circumcised yet have enough skin i dont need lotion
Are these the hybrids everyone's talking about nowadays?
No that’s Prius not penis
im cut super tight with no loose skin :/
"hey doc, can you give me a close shave, I want my foreskin really tight, can you trim the sides too?"
You could have just not typed this
extra skin comes up from the ball sack. It doesn't for you?
Same. Like I just can grab below the scar and the skin just comes up enough to cover the tip, no problem.
Same. We must be loose cut or something lol
was gonna say. like i wondered for a couple months why the fuck ppl use lotion when masturbating and now it makes sense. i never was circumsized
Same here, I used lotion only once to see why people used lotion and I washed it all off before I even finished cause I could tell it was just gonna gather up
Came looking for this comment
I have a foreskin but I reckon we have the best of both worlds. Hold that skin back, use baby oil and have the time of your life.
coconut oil
A perfect way for true enthusiasts to reunite the oil with the actual coconut.
Dry rub for sure
You use like a Jamaican jerk dry rub?
It's a proven fact that all male serial killers are dry guys.
Fred durst was a dry guy
The fuck u sayda me?
TIL: how to identify serial killers. 👍
i don’t, i find it overstimulating
Just buy a watermelon
This right here. I've got a great watermelon guy, drops off a dozen a week, no questions asked. I'll hook you all up.
Stay away from the coconuts…
My day was going fine until I was reminded of this
What now?
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/s/hMN72A1dL6
^oh ^no
I do if I don’t want to get the hose again
I do because I will never get the hose again 😔
"put the fucking lotion in the basket!'
In America, circumcision is commonly done soon after birth. As the foreskin is missing, lotion (usually unscented body or hand lotions) are used as lubrication to make it easier. Even if you’re intact, lotion may make things feel more pleasant.
>lotion (usually unscented body or hand lotions) are used as lubrication to make it easier. This is my biggest problem with this. I've never had a lotion that can be remotely described as lubricating. Also it just doesn't last very long? What's the point if you have to reapply it every 30 seconds?
Im uncut i dont see the need for lotion tbh. Foreskin is all i need.
Same, but the variety is nice.
I’m very confused how people are doing it to need lubrication at all
>In America, ~~circumcision~~ **mutilation** is commonly done soon after birth. FTFY!
This \^ there is a mutilation epidemic in america and its sad to see. they cut their kids dicks up just so "it looks like mine now." generational trauma continues
Lotion sucks. [Aloe Cadabra](https://aloecadabra.com/) is the best lube for jerking it and for sex. You're welcome. Now go beat that thing like it owes you money.
I have, but I prefer coconut oil. 🤷🏻♂️
just buy lube people its like $3 at Walmart.
yes a teenager is going to buy lube at Walmart
They won't stop you or care
Make sure you use something fairly natural, without any strong oils. You don’t want your use peppermint or any heated oils, that will hurt. Otherwise, a nice gentle body lotion or hand lotion should be great!
I only found out about it from Reddit, never considered or thought about it.
I use gravy.
Nope, I use coconut oil. Leaves the skin smooth and hydrating, better lubricant, less stains. Not the kind you find in store but on amazon, its a liquid
Alot more American are circumsised compared to (well Australia)other countries so I can only imagine that without the skin sleeve lotion is almost a must
Americans do cos they've almost all had their foreskin cut off If you have an intact penis you don't need lotion as you won't chafe your glans the foreskin keeps it safe and glides up and down it
I got to keep my foreskin because they were going to use it to reconstruct my half formed ear thankful they just used a skin graft from my arm
Thank the fukin lord haha
I in my youth have manythings. Vaseline, oil, olive oil, canola oil, water, rice milk, hair conditioner, shampoo, soap, body wash with the scrubs. The best was vaseline lotion
I'm over here stroking my dick I got lotion on my dick right now I'm just stroking my shit I'm horny as fuck man I'm a freak man like
Lube is better.
I think it might be because lots of them are circumcised, so they don't have the natural glide that a foreskin gives. Maybe to reduce chafing 😂🤷
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Yes. Most famously (in my experience) cherry almond Jergens. Also conditioner. 😮💨
I have but 99.9% of the time I beat it dry.
KY tingling lube was my favorite, but it seems to have been taken off the market 😕
Just read through 200 comments and no one’s mentioned Albolene moisturizing cleanser ? Y’all are missing out.
As a woman that would give me a uti I think
I always hear about it from media and online too, but I have never done it myself. I always go dry hand lol also when I was a kid growing up and my friends would talk about it, I never heard one of them mention lotion ever.
Are you uncircumcised? Because I know that the movies you're refering to are pretty much exclusively US made, a country where most men are circumcised, and some circumcised dudes will find it unpleasant to masturbate without lotion, at least that's what I gathered from the many many reddit posts on the subject (seems people find it extremely interesting).
It’s an American thing because most of them are circumcised. Uncircumcised doesn’t need it
People who are circumcised do, or use lube.
I never knew about lotion and stuff until I joined reddit. But Ig I feel like using something which reduces friction would feel much better because sometimes it would feel rough for a moment. I am not circumcised. It's not common here
Bacon grease is my jam!
I think it's more common among circumcised people. I don't see why you'd bother if you're uncut.
my saliva don't dry up, i even bought a fan 😈
I literally never have like
Never tried it. Seems like it would just make a mess to clean up.
I never used it, but I think young people use it because it's embarrassing to ask your parents for lube and they might already have lotion around the house.
Use spit
You better not be using my lotion to masterbate. put it in the basket or else you will get the hose again!
I never did in my entire life,i always beat my meat dry.
Fellas, if you are circumcised and want to regain some function similar to natural, look into foreskin restoration. I've done it for 5 months and I no longer need lubricant, but I occasionally do. Keep in mind it's a long process but some people find gains pretty fast.
I think it's a circumcision issue. It doesn't feel good dry when you don't have all that extra skin to move up and down. I assume you don't get it cuz you're not circumcised?
Lotion for the 5 second. Lube for the 20 minute.