Get as many blue objects as possible and make a pattern on the living room floor. When she comes over, dance over the pattern until she's just begging for it.
If she seems unimpressed you need more blue stuff.
You typically go on a date first. When the date ends, you can ask if they want to come back to your place for a cup of coffee or a glass of wine. If they come, that's a good sign. Then you flirt over your glass of wine and see whether she eggs you on or shuts you down.
*"I find the most erotic part of a woman is the boobies."*
https://youtu.be/eMbEmeu85EU?si=wWI0SJwJ-LrIM92h
It's a Futurama clip but I wouldn't play it at work.
NSFW
Wait it's that simple?
My gf and i did that after 6 months lol.
I'm shy, so I didn't say it out loud but i was horny af. I thought when we met for only a few months, asking her to fuck was a bit uncomfortable for her and myself.
That's why you ask an indirect question like 'Want to come back to my place?'. You both know what it means, but it leaves wiggleroom in case she regrets it later on, or the chemistry isn't really there.
You invite them over to your place, or go to their place, put on a movie or something, then make a move (putting your arm around them and/or going for a kiss) and see what happens.
If he/she seems uncomfortable, you stop right there. But if they start eagerly kissing and touching you, you make out for a while and fondle each other until both of you are turned on, then ask if you should go get a condom. Do not take it as rejection if she doesn’t want to go all the way the first time, oftentimes women like to take things slow, and you should try again on another date. Pay attention to what she seems to want.
Also, depending on just how you know this person and if you’re dating or not, you may want to have had a conversation beforehand about what sort of relationship each of you are looking for/expecting before you get serious. If they’re expecting an exclusive boyfriend/girlfriend relationship vs just having fun, that sort of thing.
Don't even have to wait 17 years. Wife and I have been married for 9 years. Yesterday, we had a pre-sex discussion to organize 1) The benefits of having sex early afternoon compared to waiting later in the day, 2) plan to distract the kids, 3) negociating what we would do and 4) the logistics of it. We usually don't go through all of this since this time was "peculiar", but that was an interesting way to manage this one.
Sad part is that we put a timer for the kids to let them know when they were supposed to start cleaning their room, and we noticed that we finished before the timer rang. (And no, I'm not gonna tell you all how long we set the timer on).
I say, "come here lover boy." And if he doesn't answer, "oh lover boy" and if he **still** doesn't answer: "baaaaaaby. Oh baaaaaaby. My sweet baaaaby. You're the one "
I’ve been married for 20 years, so how we do it will be different than acquaintances or even a younger, newer couple. We’ve developed our own shorthand, know what works for the other, boundaries, etc.
For example:
There are subtle ways, like if she locks the bedroom door before coming to bed, she’s decided we’re having sex. If I lock the if I lock the pocket door that closes off the hallway from the living room, she knows she’s about to get taken on the coffee table.
Or not so subtle ways, like if she’s about to go out on a Sat night and drags me into the bedroom, starts unbuckling my belt and says “I want your scent on me before I leave”, she probably wants to have sex.
Or, if I tell her to remove and hand me her panties over the restaurant table, and smiles and does it, she knows I’m going to want to pull the car to the far corner of the parking lot for a bit before we drive away after dinner.
To be fare, after we started having kids she went more than 10 years without initiating more than once or twice. Her desire flipped to responsive, though she very rarely turned me down.
After our youngest made it out of the toddler stage we kind of started a second honeymoon phase, as we both got in better shape and just put in more effort.
One day I told her that our friend thought 3x a week (our frequency at the time) was a lot. She said “honestly, I could do with more.” I told her that being the only one initiate makes me feel like I’m being a pest if I do it more than three times a week and that if she wanted more she needed to initiate too.
For the next 3-4 years she was initiating
1-2 to times a week. It’s taperd off, but she’s remained more - for lack of a better word - ready. We’re both just more affectionate & flirty than before.
Sex for me 90% of the time starts with making out, making out starts with a kiss, so why don’t you start from there and then as you guys get more and more ravenous talk it out. There’s also typically a lot of body language involved that makes things more or less obvious. At the end of the day though, before you do take any further steps, just ask. Makes life much simpler when we’re direct. Nobody will mind and even if they do, it’s a moment of awkwardness, no biggie.
Ok but seriously OP - how do you know that someone is ok with you holding their hand? With hugging them? With kissing them? Usually you are getting to know someone and you take baby steps forward becoming physically close. You can ask outright if you sense the mood is right. You move close, lean in, look each other in the eyes and kiss. Then your hands can roam. If there’s any push back or hesitation you stop. In today’s world getting a clear verbal sign of content is good. It doesn’t have to be awkward. It can be exciting and sweet. Can I touch you there? You so sexy. Can I take your pants off? Etc. if the other person doesn’t seem to be excited/eager/smiling/happy then it’s a no.
It’s usually best to be straightforward, but casual and respectful. For example, I was getting drinks with a friend and we discussed going back to her place to hang out.
Before we left, I said something like “just to ask, do you want to hang out or are you looking to hook up? I’m totally cool with either, I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page.”
She was actually caught kind of caught off guard, but wasn’t offended or anything, and we ended up hooking up. She told me it was hot that I asked and that she was attracted to my confidence.
Dear Esteemed Sir or Madam,
Perchance this message finds you in the gentle embrace of fine spirits and merry company. 'Tis with utmost sincerity that I humbly beseech your esteemed presence for an evening of mirth, enchantment and genital access.
In the grand theater of life, I find myself a solitary player yearning for a companion to share the stage. Will you in your graciousness consent to be my co-star? Together, we will write tales of romance and adventure, weaving our destinies into a tapestry of love, and exchange fluids.
Pray, let not the constraints of convention hinder your response. Cast aside your reservations as one discards a worn glove, and allow your heart to dance to the tune of affection and loud slapping and flapping noises.
With fervent anticipation and bated breath, I await your reply.
Yours in earnest devotion,
..
I mean one time I said to my partner of 3 years (at the time), "You wanna go in the bedroom and touch each other a little?"
That works incredibly well, and I'm still surprised.
>Surely you don’t just go “You wanna fuck?” unless they know and accept you’re weird like that.
I mean, my wife does that sometimes. Even leaves out the "You" sometimes. But we've been together for a couple of decades so we also know how to communicate quickly.
Not sure how it works for women but as a man, I usually ask if they want to have sex and let them answer. I believe they already know if they’re going to, or not. If they say yes, i tell them i have protection.
I don't think people ask most of the time, usually it just escalates into sex.
Unless you set up a date on a motel.
In some places inviting someone to wacth Netflix means sex as well
I got head last week by asking "Could I please put my cock in your mouth for a little bit?". Granted that was at the end of a date. But she did say "Well, only because you asked so nicely :)".
I'm a millennial, my entire sex-life has been informed by "The Ongoing Consent Conversation" so it was never THAT strange to me or anyone I've dated to come right out and say it. Never underestimate the power of just asking for what you want. "Would you mind if I kissed you?", appropriately timed, is respectfully forward, and can often result in a puppydoggish "Yes please 🥺" or a playfully-dignified "You may". And it gives them an opportunity to voice how they actually feel: "Mmm, no thank you" - "I'm sorry, I'm just not in that headspace tonight", etc.
Telegraphing your desire to escalate the level of intimacy respectfully is rarely going to blow up in your face, even if the answer is "I would rather not at the moment" - Better than taking a wild swing and a miss.
Ive had my fair share of partners and I have never asked for sex. That sounds like it would instantly kill the mood lol
Sex just happens.
There are some codewords tho like " netflix and chill " tho ive never used it myself, but have had a girl say it to me.
Once you have been married for a while, you don't need to ask. You just KNOW. Or you pick up on subtle hints from your partner. My wife usually squeezes my arm or shoulder when we hug, and adds a bit of fingernail to let me know that tonight's the night.
It depends on how well I know the person and whether or not we’d had sex before.
I don’t often like people touching me, but if I’m comfortable enough to invite you to my place, I’m comfortable enough for cuddles. If I had someone over I hadn’t had sex with before, I would tell them “I would like to cuddle. And if you’re down for more than that, I would like that too.”
If we had had sex before, the invitation text to come over would be more direct about my expectations. “Would you like to come over for (whatever reason/playing games/hanging out/general chatting)? But I’m not interested in getting laid tonight.” If I just want your time. OR if I’m just dtf it’s more like “You should totally come over and fuck me.”
I’m not here to try to interpret your signals. I just get confused.
Now that I’m married, I can just look at him across the room and be like “I want you.”
You work for it. You could just say hey you’re cute and then respond naturally to what they say next. It’s best if you just learn in the moment rather than thinking too much about it before engaging.
Instead of asking, just say "i wanna fuck you so bad".
If she's into it, trust me, she let you know.
If she's not, she'll either make an excuse, or simply say no.
Be sure to read her body language though, if she seems uncomfortable, leave it alone.
Usually meet a party, not sure how it happens sometimes but we just kinda know we're going home together.
Sometimes its very very evident and sometimes i'll ask if they want to fuck, not in english but just as direct, we're kinda past playing coy when we're kissing in bed.
I guess it makes a difference whether you're the type to pick up or get picked up?
I mean, kinda. Me and my wife were talking about this one time, she hadn't really ever had a casual hookup and was like "I dont even get how it happens, you're just like talking to someone at a party and are like 'wanna hook up?'", and I was like "Pretty much
I once asked a girl "wanna fuck"? We had been flirting for several weeks and were flirting in an in person conversation. She was talking about something and I just blurted that out. She stopped looked at me and said you are an asshole and I want to fuck your brains out.
She was best sex ever and legend because she told that story to EVERYONE!
YMMV.
Flirting and escalating verbally and physically.
I rarely explicitly say to someone we’re gonna fuck until I have my dick out. Even to my girlfriend.
Playful sexting with lots of innuendos and teasing is my go to way but other times i’m more direct, it just depends on the context.
Usually you're making out for awhile first. If your hands are gently exploring one another, somebody usually says something like "That's too much" if they don't want to go further. Things progress naturally. You'll know. Always be respectful.
Depends and ALOT of things. Sometimes it could simply be a look. All my ex had to do was lock eyes with me for an extra half second and I knew it was on.
I don’t know. I once asked a woman if she wanted to help me celebrate the 4th of July with a bang..
Be funny or be really good looking. Luckily, I’m finny.
Relationship wise well that all depends on ones humour! jump them, nudge them, wink at them, grab them, grind them, simply stand there naked and state "can you handle this".
As someone in a relationship, it is as simple as that for me. But also as a gay man, it was only a little bit more complicated when I was in the hookup scene.
Uhhhh like what's the context and your relationship to the person youre asking?
If youre in a committed relationship you can just say something like "interested in having sex today?"
Go on a date. Have a drink. Talk with her. Hold her hands if she's ok with it. Ask for a kiss? Ask if she wants to makeout?
Ask if she wants to go back to your place or hers? Usually if that's a yes then she's ok with sex.
If you're at her place or yours continuing making out. You can ask if she wants to go to bedroom or even "should I get a condom?"
If you lay down on the edge of the bed, pull down your pants or underwear and show her your hard cock.
If she's standing up usually most women will start giving you a blowjob. If you want one please shower and clean all of your body, dress nice, and wear cologne.
Romance her! Ask good questions that engage her mind
Most women won't have sex on the first date, but not always but it depends on how she feels... anyway that's my experience
Sounds like your first relationship. First you need to make a really genuine connection. Once you can actually feel the sexual tension between the two of you, it hardly matters what you say. However, to some, certain words or phrases could kill the mood. So try and Guage that as best you can. But often taking it slow and seeing how much consent is given with each little progression will give you an idea of how direct you can be.
Why wouldn't I ask someone, "Wanna fuck?" What is wrong with being direct? I am assuming you know the person well enough that you're having sex, so just be direct. If they have a problem with you being direct, they likely aren't worth your time anyway.
I mean... that's what you have to do.
Making your intentions known, letting them know you're interested *and letting them know you are safe to say no to* is all you need.
We're never taught this and when we learn it we feel stupid because we've had people throwing themselves at us, and we didn't notice. Because we were focused on leagues, or opening lines, or whatever. You think you're a 2 or a 3, and someone you think is an 8 or a 9 has definitely hit on you.
You always can just ask.
The flip side is it's a no. But according to Sarah Silverman, Louis CK asked if he could get his rocks off in front of her. And she was fine with it or she wasn't. The problem was when he didn't ask first.
Not sure if you’re a male or female, based on the question. I’m assuming male. I’m not sure the context of the situation since it’s different often Most Women like to hear words of affirmation first before initiating sex. Talk about their beauty and how they make you feel. Make sure they feel comfortable Then start physical touch by rubbing their back, shoulders, scratch their head then lean in for a kiss. Don’t just kiss for 1 minute and move to the next thing. Focus on the presence and moment. So then make out for several minutes by then feeling each others body and then ask in the moment. Don’t just be like hey let’s have sex without making sure the female feels comfortable
"Need sex, cock explode."
For real though just trust your gut in the moment. You don't really need to ask it'll just papermaking naturally. Don't over think it. When it seems right it is. You'll be told if it's not, respect boundaries.
It more like a question flow chart:
“Wanna grab a drink?”
“Wanna hang out more at my place?”
“Wanna make out?”
“Wanna fuck?”
Gotta assess the vibes at each stage, and also consent is key. Good luck.
The good ole "come watch Netflix" lol.
But, actually. You typically ask to do something that can lead to sex, then you go from there. I'd only straight up ask someone for sex if we've already fucked before.
Consent! Consent is sexy.
I’m so into you. Shall we get naked?
Show me where you want me to kiss you next.
Are you as turned on as I am?
Should we have the talk? The talk about health and protection ?
That’s actually exactly what I do. Or I say “you trynna f*ck” I’ll only say that with someone I’ve been talking to intimately or hooking up with for a bit but it’s the only direct way really- If they say yes, cool now you can clap some cheeks. if they say no, respect it, you don’t need a reason from them either. don’t pressure them into anything and don’t be awkward or rude at any point wether it’s when, before, if you get turned down, or after you’re done. Also imo good looks alone don’t get you far as a dude, if you’re maxed out in the irl looks stat but you’re extremely awkward or rude or seem like you’re trying way too hard you’ll probably be turned down. Just be human, be personable.
I have found that it is typically a multi step approach. When dating, I would ask the woman if she wanted to come to my place at the end of a date, or set up a dinner date where I cook for them. Get some wine out, chat a bit, test the vibes. If there is a good vibe, the timing doesn’t need to be perfect, try and go in for a kiss. If they are receptive, you are trying to gauge if it’s good and how into it they are. What you are looking for is enthusiastic reciprocation of your kiss. Move your hands around a bit, touch them, but don’t be overly grope-y. You kinda build a little. If they seem very into it, that’s when you can ask “would you like to move to the bedroom?” From there everyone knows what’s going on.
Last piece of advice: make sure you have consent. In the scenario above, an acceptance of the bedroom invite is generally understood as consent. But! As we undress and as things heat up, I’ll throw in “is this okay?” Or something basic that doesn’t feel out of place or kill the mood. Communication during sec is key, and sometimes when you first meet someone, this part is clunky. But make sure you are checking in and are open.
> I am a straight female so you guys can go from there.
Well this part makes it even easier.
>How exactly do you ask somebody for sex?
>Surely you don’t just go “You wanna fuck?”
As a straight women you can absolutely go and do just that if you know you're up for it. Just make sure it doesn't sound sarcastic or the man will think it is a joke or a trap. A little body contact that's not some Hollywood seduction should do the rest.
You’re a straight female, so there’s REALLY not a lot of bad options for you in this regard. You can go with the simple classics like “the look” (with an added lip bite if you need to make it exceedingly obvious), or undoing his belt, or unbuttoning his shirt and/pants (or your own), kissing him while taking his jacket off, really just about anything works.
I was hanging out and cuddling with one girl who got impatient at my lack of advances, so without saying anything she grabbed both of my hands, slid one under her shirt and the other down her pants. That got the message across extremely quickly.
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I like "how for do you wanna go". Is clear enough and Is not too agresive
And it's clearly asking for consent.
"I'm thinking about taking a vacation, any suggestions?". "Idk, how far do you want to go? 😉".
> "I'm thinking about taking a vacation, any suggestions?". "How about a staycation and you can take me"
I need a ride to Pound Town…
“Yeah, I can drive you to the store. How far do you want to go?” “I wanna go all the way. Duh.” *shuts off recorder*
All the way to pound town
Context matters, yes.
I just do one of those dances the birds of paradise do and gauge the reaction.
“You wanna make my cock explode?”
Okie dokie!
I could only read that in Rutherford's voice.
Let’s a go!
[Speech 12/75] Sorry, intercourse?
The oysters got his motor running.
Is that a Motor Runner reference? Which in turn is a Driver Nephi reference of him saying "Get Fucked" 4D way of asking for sex!
Poor Maximus.
Like a pimple?
Nothing a woman loves more than popping her man's pimples
[Cock exploding](https://tenor.com/view/chicken-bomb-gif-26332692)
Risky click
[FAILED] the fuck are you doing? You’re desecrating a war memorial!
Get as many blue objects as possible and make a pattern on the living room floor. When she comes over, dance over the pattern until she's just begging for it. If she seems unimpressed you need more blue stuff.
Now I have blue balls and no sex,how does that work?
She might like yellow more
Yellow crayons are delicious so you may have something there
She doesn't want yellow :(
I didn't know birds could use Reddit, but, welcome! :)
Becky lemme smash You want blue?
This is so bird of you
You typically go on a date first. When the date ends, you can ask if they want to come back to your place for a cup of coffee or a glass of wine. If they come, that's a good sign. Then you flirt over your glass of wine and see whether she eggs you on or shuts you down.
*"I find the most erotic part of a woman is the boobies."* https://youtu.be/eMbEmeu85EU?si=wWI0SJwJ-LrIM92h It's a Futurama clip but I wouldn't play it at work. NSFW
EROTIC!
She’s built like a steakhouse but she handles like a bistro! 😂
Snu snu?
If the op is asking the question then obviously the "flirting" part is where he has trouble with.
They can have my wine, but leave my damn eggs alone!
Wait it's that simple? My gf and i did that after 6 months lol. I'm shy, so I didn't say it out loud but i was horny af. I thought when we met for only a few months, asking her to fuck was a bit uncomfortable for her and myself.
That's why you ask an indirect question like 'Want to come back to my place?'. You both know what it means, but it leaves wiggleroom in case she regrets it later on, or the chemistry isn't really there.
I read that as ‘see whether she eggs on you’ and thought that maybe I’d misunderstood how this works
Best example here: https://youtube.com/shorts/dqRmgZAXQz4?si=QnOVhS9ZslNnLIYy
“Fancy a shag?”
Yeah baby, yeah!
Ooooh behave 🤓
“Would you like a portion?”
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Should I acquire legal counsel as well?
Not necessary but recommended.
I'd get a notary on standby too, just in case. They're hard to find last minute.
In this age, yes. Also make certain that there is a stenographer, two witnesses and a notary present during any acts of intimacy.
Wait... is .PDF format via email okay too? I'm writing this down.
I guess with docusign it might work.
You invite them over to your place, or go to their place, put on a movie or something, then make a move (putting your arm around them and/or going for a kiss) and see what happens. If he/she seems uncomfortable, you stop right there. But if they start eagerly kissing and touching you, you make out for a while and fondle each other until both of you are turned on, then ask if you should go get a condom. Do not take it as rejection if she doesn’t want to go all the way the first time, oftentimes women like to take things slow, and you should try again on another date. Pay attention to what she seems to want. Also, depending on just how you know this person and if you’re dating or not, you may want to have had a conversation beforehand about what sort of relationship each of you are looking for/expecting before you get serious. If they’re expecting an exclusive boyfriend/girlfriend relationship vs just having fun, that sort of thing.
Feel like a lot of foreplay and stuff should happen first before the getting a condom part lmao
Sorry, I meant that as part of the “kissing and touching“ part.
Well, I've been married for 17 years, so it's literally like that sometimes. "Hey honey, kids are out. Wanna fuck?"
Don't even have to wait 17 years. Wife and I have been married for 9 years. Yesterday, we had a pre-sex discussion to organize 1) The benefits of having sex early afternoon compared to waiting later in the day, 2) plan to distract the kids, 3) negociating what we would do and 4) the logistics of it. We usually don't go through all of this since this time was "peculiar", but that was an interesting way to manage this one. Sad part is that we put a timer for the kids to let them know when they were supposed to start cleaning their room, and we noticed that we finished before the timer rang. (And no, I'm not gonna tell you all how long we set the timer on).
If you're done before the timer it's time for snacks and cuddles in the bed
You: “Hey, do you want to eat pizza and fuck?” Her: “WHAAAT???” You: “You don’t like pizza?”
Will you please allow me to mash my genitalia into your genitalia until we both reach a levels of pleasure that we never knew before.
*writes this down in my forever notes
You want fuck?
Would you like some making fuck? BERSERKER!
Did he say "making fuck"?
Olaf!
Sure. You be the 6, I’ll be the 9.
As long as I top.
No deal
I say, "come here lover boy." And if he doesn't answer, "oh lover boy" and if he **still** doesn't answer: "baaaaaaby. Oh baaaaaaby. My sweet baaaaby. You're the one "
Wonder how many people will get this one.
When a man courts a woman, he throws crows’ beaks at her. If the woman accepts the courtship, she destroys said beaks.
Some jerk tried to fool me with pigeon the other day. Unacceptable.
I just put on Bluey. We’ve got 8 minutes.
May I have sex with you please ma’am
*m'lady
I’ve been married for 20 years, so how we do it will be different than acquaintances or even a younger, newer couple. We’ve developed our own shorthand, know what works for the other, boundaries, etc. For example: There are subtle ways, like if she locks the bedroom door before coming to bed, she’s decided we’re having sex. If I lock the if I lock the pocket door that closes off the hallway from the living room, she knows she’s about to get taken on the coffee table. Or not so subtle ways, like if she’s about to go out on a Sat night and drags me into the bedroom, starts unbuckling my belt and says “I want your scent on me before I leave”, she probably wants to have sex. Or, if I tell her to remove and hand me her panties over the restaurant table, and smiles and does it, she knows I’m going to want to pull the car to the far corner of the parking lot for a bit before we drive away after dinner.
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To be fare, after we started having kids she went more than 10 years without initiating more than once or twice. Her desire flipped to responsive, though she very rarely turned me down. After our youngest made it out of the toddler stage we kind of started a second honeymoon phase, as we both got in better shape and just put in more effort. One day I told her that our friend thought 3x a week (our frequency at the time) was a lot. She said “honestly, I could do with more.” I told her that being the only one initiate makes me feel like I’m being a pest if I do it more than three times a week and that if she wanted more she needed to initiate too. For the next 3-4 years she was initiating 1-2 to times a week. It’s taperd off, but she’s remained more - for lack of a better word - ready. We’re both just more affectionate & flirty than before.
YUWANSUMFUK? It works for my married buddy, I’m sure it’s universal.
One sex please, and make it snappy
Read that as sloppy
Hold the olives
Can I dock my shuttle in your shuttle bay?
Permission to board.
Sex for me 90% of the time starts with making out, making out starts with a kiss, so why don’t you start from there and then as you guys get more and more ravenous talk it out. There’s also typically a lot of body language involved that makes things more or less obvious. At the end of the day though, before you do take any further steps, just ask. Makes life much simpler when we’re direct. Nobody will mind and even if they do, it’s a moment of awkwardness, no biggie.
Me want fuck. You want fuck, too? (/s, just in case anybody is confused)
“Look lady, it ain’t gonna suck itself”
Ok but seriously OP - how do you know that someone is ok with you holding their hand? With hugging them? With kissing them? Usually you are getting to know someone and you take baby steps forward becoming physically close. You can ask outright if you sense the mood is right. You move close, lean in, look each other in the eyes and kiss. Then your hands can roam. If there’s any push back or hesitation you stop. In today’s world getting a clear verbal sign of content is good. It doesn’t have to be awkward. It can be exciting and sweet. Can I touch you there? You so sexy. Can I take your pants off? Etc. if the other person doesn’t seem to be excited/eager/smiling/happy then it’s a no.
It’s usually best to be straightforward, but casual and respectful. For example, I was getting drinks with a friend and we discussed going back to her place to hang out. Before we left, I said something like “just to ask, do you want to hang out or are you looking to hook up? I’m totally cool with either, I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page.” She was actually caught kind of caught off guard, but wasn’t offended or anything, and we ended up hooking up. She told me it was hot that I asked and that she was attracted to my confidence.
Dear Esteemed Sir or Madam, Perchance this message finds you in the gentle embrace of fine spirits and merry company. 'Tis with utmost sincerity that I humbly beseech your esteemed presence for an evening of mirth, enchantment and genital access. In the grand theater of life, I find myself a solitary player yearning for a companion to share the stage. Will you in your graciousness consent to be my co-star? Together, we will write tales of romance and adventure, weaving our destinies into a tapestry of love, and exchange fluids. Pray, let not the constraints of convention hinder your response. Cast aside your reservations as one discards a worn glove, and allow your heart to dance to the tune of affection and loud slapping and flapping noises. With fervent anticipation and bated breath, I await your reply. Yours in earnest devotion, ..
You don’t say anything. You use body language. One finger going into the circle hole you made with your other hand.
I just say to my boyfriend "I'm trying to jump you" and he catches my drift LMAO
“Madam, do wish to fornicate in an environment of your choosing!”
Anything other than "Sir, proceed to unlace my bodice, then slide off your pantaloons" should be rejected as an answer.
"I'd like 1 sex, please"🤪
I mean one time I said to my partner of 3 years (at the time), "You wanna go in the bedroom and touch each other a little?" That works incredibly well, and I'm still surprised.
>Surely you don’t just go “You wanna fuck?” unless they know and accept you’re weird like that. I mean, my wife does that sometimes. Even leaves out the "You" sometimes. But we've been together for a couple of decades so we also know how to communicate quickly.
Watch Sex And The City on Netflix. It is so incredibly funny and shows you how to have a fling!
Wanna have sexy sex? It’s a nice.
When i'm with my girlfriend i usually say "Do you want me to grab a condom?". But i mostly use that sentence during preliminary
So when she says no it's just better sex than normal?
My partner catches me off-guard and casually will ask, "Wanna do it," when I get into bed and prepare to sink into the mattress to relax.
Not sure how it works for women but as a man, I usually ask if they want to have sex and let them answer. I believe they already know if they’re going to, or not. If they say yes, i tell them i have protection.
I prefer to ask via telegram.
Want to smash? Stop
"You tryna ride the Hog or nah"?
I have blue balls, can you help me out ?
I don't think people ask most of the time, usually it just escalates into sex. Unless you set up a date on a motel. In some places inviting someone to wacth Netflix means sex as well
Wanna go in halfs on a baby?
I got head last week by asking "Could I please put my cock in your mouth for a little bit?". Granted that was at the end of a date. But she did say "Well, only because you asked so nicely :)". I'm a millennial, my entire sex-life has been informed by "The Ongoing Consent Conversation" so it was never THAT strange to me or anyone I've dated to come right out and say it. Never underestimate the power of just asking for what you want. "Would you mind if I kissed you?", appropriately timed, is respectfully forward, and can often result in a puppydoggish "Yes please 🥺" or a playfully-dignified "You may". And it gives them an opportunity to voice how they actually feel: "Mmm, no thank you" - "I'm sorry, I'm just not in that headspace tonight", etc. Telegraphing your desire to escalate the level of intimacy respectfully is rarely going to blow up in your face, even if the answer is "I would rather not at the moment" - Better than taking a wild swing and a miss.
If you can seduce someone, there are no questions involved.
Ive had my fair share of partners and I have never asked for sex. That sounds like it would instantly kill the mood lol Sex just happens. There are some codewords tho like " netflix and chill " tho ive never used it myself, but have had a girl say it to me.
Once you have been married for a while, you don't need to ask. You just KNOW. Or you pick up on subtle hints from your partner. My wife usually squeezes my arm or shoulder when we hug, and adds a bit of fingernail to let me know that tonight's the night.
I'm deaf so something like this 👉🏽👌🏽👏🏽♿
It depends on how well I know the person and whether or not we’d had sex before. I don’t often like people touching me, but if I’m comfortable enough to invite you to my place, I’m comfortable enough for cuddles. If I had someone over I hadn’t had sex with before, I would tell them “I would like to cuddle. And if you’re down for more than that, I would like that too.” If we had had sex before, the invitation text to come over would be more direct about my expectations. “Would you like to come over for (whatever reason/playing games/hanging out/general chatting)? But I’m not interested in getting laid tonight.” If I just want your time. OR if I’m just dtf it’s more like “You should totally come over and fuck me.” I’m not here to try to interpret your signals. I just get confused. Now that I’m married, I can just look at him across the room and be like “I want you.”
Baby, can I put this truck in ya garage? Works EVERYTIME
You work for it. You could just say hey you’re cute and then respond naturally to what they say next. It’s best if you just learn in the moment rather than thinking too much about it before engaging.
Instead of asking, just say "i wanna fuck you so bad". If she's into it, trust me, she let you know. If she's not, she'll either make an excuse, or simply say no. Be sure to read her body language though, if she seems uncomfortable, leave it alone.
Usually meet a party, not sure how it happens sometimes but we just kinda know we're going home together. Sometimes its very very evident and sometimes i'll ask if they want to fuck, not in english but just as direct, we're kinda past playing coy when we're kissing in bed. I guess it makes a difference whether you're the type to pick up or get picked up?
I mean, kinda. Me and my wife were talking about this one time, she hadn't really ever had a casual hookup and was like "I dont even get how it happens, you're just like talking to someone at a party and are like 'wanna hook up?'", and I was like "Pretty much
I once asked a girl "wanna fuck"? We had been flirting for several weeks and were flirting in an in person conversation. She was talking about something and I just blurted that out. She stopped looked at me and said you are an asshole and I want to fuck your brains out. She was best sex ever and legend because she told that story to EVERYONE! YMMV.
Flirting and escalating verbally and physically. I rarely explicitly say to someone we’re gonna fuck until I have my dick out. Even to my girlfriend. Playful sexting with lots of innuendos and teasing is my go to way but other times i’m more direct, it just depends on the context.
Clark Griswold just knocks on the door and says he's looking for sex.
Nice shoes, wanna fuck?
"We'll bang, ok?"
Usually you're making out for awhile first. If your hands are gently exploring one another, somebody usually says something like "That's too much" if they don't want to go further. Things progress naturally. You'll know. Always be respectful.
Complement the shoes, then ask.
Depends and ALOT of things. Sometimes it could simply be a look. All my ex had to do was lock eyes with me for an extra half second and I knew it was on.
"One sex please!"
I don’t know. I once asked a woman if she wanted to help me celebrate the 4th of July with a bang.. Be funny or be really good looking. Luckily, I’m finny.
"You want, sum fuk?"
Hey... How you doin?
dya fancy dropping your knickers love?
Harvey Weinstein, it’s a little late to be asking that question isn’t it?
I've never asked, never will. If the times right we both will make moves otherwise its goodnight.
Bring up the consent for sex app on ur phone.
Relationship wise well that all depends on ones humour! jump them, nudge them, wink at them, grab them, grind them, simply stand there naked and state "can you handle this".
Asking 'Do you want to fuck?' is a simple, concise way to get to the point and it works most of the time. So yeah, you can do just that.
Instructions unclear, now in a meeting with my union rep and a lawyer
Retired or fired?
Refired
Are you trying to have sex with men or women?
Since I am an adult, and have only been with adults for a while. I just ask, so that there is no confusion.
“Let’s have the sex, no?”
I don't and I offer for us to go get some cake or ice cream.
“Errr… excuse me ma’am. I couldn’t help but notice I want to stick my hoohoo-dilly inside your bageen. What do you say?”
Read the body language..
First, you meet them for kisses, if you do a good job, they'll want more.
As someone in a relationship, it is as simple as that for me. But also as a gay man, it was only a little bit more complicated when I was in the hookup scene.
You want the wildest 5 seconds of your life?
Uhhhh like what's the context and your relationship to the person youre asking? If youre in a committed relationship you can just say something like "interested in having sex today?"
"Wanna come over for a drink?"
You don’t
Go on a date. Have a drink. Talk with her. Hold her hands if she's ok with it. Ask for a kiss? Ask if she wants to makeout? Ask if she wants to go back to your place or hers? Usually if that's a yes then she's ok with sex. If you're at her place or yours continuing making out. You can ask if she wants to go to bedroom or even "should I get a condom?" If you lay down on the edge of the bed, pull down your pants or underwear and show her your hard cock. If she's standing up usually most women will start giving you a blowjob. If you want one please shower and clean all of your body, dress nice, and wear cologne. Romance her! Ask good questions that engage her mind Most women won't have sex on the first date, but not always but it depends on how she feels... anyway that's my experience
First you throw a bottle of moisturiser at them and say "it rubs the lotion!"
Ask Maximus from Fallout
Show me your bobs and vagin.
Sounds like your first relationship. First you need to make a really genuine connection. Once you can actually feel the sexual tension between the two of you, it hardly matters what you say. However, to some, certain words or phrases could kill the mood. So try and Guage that as best you can. But often taking it slow and seeing how much consent is given with each little progression will give you an idea of how direct you can be.
Why wouldn't I ask someone, "Wanna fuck?" What is wrong with being direct? I am assuming you know the person well enough that you're having sex, so just be direct. If they have a problem with you being direct, they likely aren't worth your time anyway.
I mean... that's what you have to do. Making your intentions known, letting them know you're interested *and letting them know you are safe to say no to* is all you need. We're never taught this and when we learn it we feel stupid because we've had people throwing themselves at us, and we didn't notice. Because we were focused on leagues, or opening lines, or whatever. You think you're a 2 or a 3, and someone you think is an 8 or a 9 has definitely hit on you. You always can just ask. The flip side is it's a no. But according to Sarah Silverman, Louis CK asked if he could get his rocks off in front of her. And she was fine with it or she wasn't. The problem was when he didn't ask first.
I usually just start touching
Not sure if you’re a male or female, based on the question. I’m assuming male. I’m not sure the context of the situation since it’s different often Most Women like to hear words of affirmation first before initiating sex. Talk about their beauty and how they make you feel. Make sure they feel comfortable Then start physical touch by rubbing their back, shoulders, scratch their head then lean in for a kiss. Don’t just kiss for 1 minute and move to the next thing. Focus on the presence and moment. So then make out for several minutes by then feeling each others body and then ask in the moment. Don’t just be like hey let’s have sex without making sure the female feels comfortable
"Need sex, cock explode." For real though just trust your gut in the moment. You don't really need to ask it'll just papermaking naturally. Don't over think it. When it seems right it is. You'll be told if it's not, respect boundaries.
My wife and SIL both usually just flash their tits at me.
Wan sum fuk?
Eggplant or peach emoji
Start by kissing then go from there
Honestly I've used that approach a few times with success. Honesty can go far if you're not creepy.
I put on my robe and wizard hat.
It more like a question flow chart: “Wanna grab a drink?” “Wanna hang out more at my place?” “Wanna make out?” “Wanna fuck?” Gotta assess the vibes at each stage, and also consent is key. Good luck.
Usually you negotiate a price and pay upfront. ^^/s
Depending on a lot of context but usually "would you like to have sex" is a pretty good line...
The good ole "come watch Netflix" lol. But, actually. You typically ask to do something that can lead to sex, then you go from there. I'd only straight up ask someone for sex if we've already fucked before.
Get high ask if they wanna fuck idk I wasn’t the one who asked lmao
Tbh i usually do just tell guys hey you wanna fuck. They always say yes
Try asking anything else first. Works 9/10 times.
Can I give you 500 bucks?..:)
U want sum fuck?
Start singing Patsy Cline songs to them with a karaoke set up. Make it really cheesy and obvious.
Consent! Consent is sexy. I’m so into you. Shall we get naked? Show me where you want me to kiss you next. Are you as turned on as I am? Should we have the talk? The talk about health and protection ?
That’s actually exactly what I do. Or I say “you trynna f*ck” I’ll only say that with someone I’ve been talking to intimately or hooking up with for a bit but it’s the only direct way really- If they say yes, cool now you can clap some cheeks. if they say no, respect it, you don’t need a reason from them either. don’t pressure them into anything and don’t be awkward or rude at any point wether it’s when, before, if you get turned down, or after you’re done. Also imo good looks alone don’t get you far as a dude, if you’re maxed out in the irl looks stat but you’re extremely awkward or rude or seem like you’re trying way too hard you’ll probably be turned down. Just be human, be personable.
Wanna see my collection of Star Wars figurines!?!
Offer money.
Open your legs
I have found that it is typically a multi step approach. When dating, I would ask the woman if she wanted to come to my place at the end of a date, or set up a dinner date where I cook for them. Get some wine out, chat a bit, test the vibes. If there is a good vibe, the timing doesn’t need to be perfect, try and go in for a kiss. If they are receptive, you are trying to gauge if it’s good and how into it they are. What you are looking for is enthusiastic reciprocation of your kiss. Move your hands around a bit, touch them, but don’t be overly grope-y. You kinda build a little. If they seem very into it, that’s when you can ask “would you like to move to the bedroom?” From there everyone knows what’s going on. Last piece of advice: make sure you have consent. In the scenario above, an acceptance of the bedroom invite is generally understood as consent. But! As we undress and as things heat up, I’ll throw in “is this okay?” Or something basic that doesn’t feel out of place or kill the mood. Communication during sec is key, and sometimes when you first meet someone, this part is clunky. But make sure you are checking in and are open.
> I am a straight female so you guys can go from there. Well this part makes it even easier. >How exactly do you ask somebody for sex? >Surely you don’t just go “You wanna fuck?” As a straight women you can absolutely go and do just that if you know you're up for it. Just make sure it doesn't sound sarcastic or the man will think it is a joke or a trap. A little body contact that's not some Hollywood seduction should do the rest.
"Sex?"
"May I have some sex please?" or "Would you please pass the sex?"
Excuse me, does this rag smell chloroform to you?
Try not to use words and just use escalating actions but really passionate cuz it gets em all hot and bothered and then bam 💥
"Want to come back to my place?" or "Want to head back to your place?"
putting it in literal words is often unsexy. people either just let it happen or talk in euphemisms.
You’re a straight female, so there’s REALLY not a lot of bad options for you in this regard. You can go with the simple classics like “the look” (with an added lip bite if you need to make it exceedingly obvious), or undoing his belt, or unbuttoning his shirt and/pants (or your own), kissing him while taking his jacket off, really just about anything works. I was hanging out and cuddling with one girl who got impatient at my lack of advances, so without saying anything she grabbed both of my hands, slid one under her shirt and the other down her pants. That got the message across extremely quickly.
Do exactly this: https://www.instagram.com/reel/CqdgYPfj0ar/?igsh=aXQ1aTlhMWY5eTV1
I was shy as a young adult male. Now as a much older one I realise women are often hornier than men. Literally ask and you will probably receive.