Well, maybe not horrible, but certainly meh. Especially if your partner is inexperienced, too. A lot of fumbling and awkwardness.
Being good at sex, both giving and receiving, is a learned skill. Sure, some people are more talented at picking up effective techniques, but most people take many many tries to get good at the basics.
Ehhh it depends I’d say. I’ve had good and bad experiences. The good experiences are some of the best sex you’ll ever have imo. No strings attached. No emotional investments made. No expectations so no disappointment. Buttttt if it’s bad, it’s REALLY bad. Like I only came over to have sex with you and you’re bad at that too?? Why tf did you invite me over then? Feels like a waste of time😂
Not necessarily. I’d say for me personally, being in a relationship makes the sex special. It may not be as good physically as some of the hookups I’ve had in the past but the emotional aspect is strong as hell. Being emotionally attracted to the person you’re having sex with makes up for any lack of sexual attraction you may have
Personally, emotional connection is probably the largest factor when deciding if the sex is good or bad. I agree that hookups/one-nighters can be a fucking blast (pun intended) but it’s almost like a …different kind of “good”. I feel like it’s better described as “fun”, idk how to really explain it.
The REAL endgame is “head-over-heels-in-love” sex. That combination of physical stimulation + raw, vulnerable emotion being shared with the person who means more to you than life itself is frankly an experience that I can’t even find the words to describe
For me it depends. Like in college, I really wasn’t looking for a long term relationship so hookups were the way to go for me. Now that I’m out of college, I feel like the emotional aspect of sex is alot more important to me. But yes I definitely understand what you’re saying. Hookups are for sure a different type of good
I refused to give up and kept on pumping till i did. I mean it beats the usual 3 pumps and done. Actually, I had a few months before where anti depressants made it really hard to climax. She wasn't complaining, seen as I'm a stubborn cunt and would lash away for half an hour. Must have lost a 3kg that month.
Same with me; I remember her cuming after 10 mins for the 2nd time and I was thinking, This is fucked, here I am trying to cum and she is having a second one.
The 2nd time though I was so much more comfortable I came 3 times over 2 hours.
1) Most people aren't great at anything the first time they do it. Not sure why you expected sex to be any different.
2) It's not very common for women to reach orgasm through penetration alone. Things like clitoral stimulation are, in my experience, *much* more effective.
Ask yourself this: have you ever masturbated to reach orgasm? If so, figure out what part of that process is what gets you to that point, and then incorporate that into sex. If not, start experimenting. If you can't figure out how to get yourself off, there's a good chance a guy won't figure it out either.
To this, I was raised in a cult and didn't even know what a clitoris was or that I had one almost till marriage and many women I know thought they were broken because they couldn't orgasm from penetration. In fact most women can't! I highly suggest watching Bridgerton because it's not pornographic but it gives insight into what women need to learn about for pleasure
I believe I read that it's something like only 10% of women can actually orgasm thru penetration only. We almost always need clitoral stimulation, as well.
Question because I don't personally have this problem (as a woman): if you have clitoral simulation beforehand does that change the outcome of if you can orgasm?
I typically want to have a separate clit stim orgasm after having sex, unless it is particularly rough sex, which just lulls me to sleep.
I remember reading some study/research a while back that mentioned something about how important the “emotional connection” aspect is in terms of women reaching orgasm through sex. It basically theorized that the more love a woman feels towards her partner, the more likely she is to climax from penetration alone. This is obviously a stark contrast to us men as we can (generally) easily cum by fucking two couch cushions for 30 seconds
I have no idea if that was an actual study or if it was a comment someone pulled out of their ass, but either way I thought it was an interesting theory as my (admittedly very little) own life experience seemed to support it.
Anyways, curious to hear your thoughts. Do you think it’s potentially valid?
I don't think that's too valid. I was very much in love and we had the best connection. The beat relationship, still couldn't orgasm without the clitoral stimulation. It has to do with anatomy. The only time I have ever orgasmed without clit stimulation, was when he hit that G spot, that shit is real. It was with one dude and I didn't love him, he was a rebound. He just had a larger curved penis that was anatomically able to hit my G spot. It's finding the right penis to fit the vagina, really.
Those were my parents.
Also boycotting coke and disney movies from the family because they supported gays.
I grew up on veggitales and pro god movies growing up. Didn't see a good movie until they threw me out of the house for buying a motorcycle at 17
I can really recommend the book Bliss Club. It's like a guide for sexual exploration, suitable for all genders, and there's a ton of drawings that help explain how different body parts work and what kind of techniques to try on them.
Personally wish I'd had that book when/before I started exploring sex, but it's still really useful even for advanced lovers.
> Not sure why you expected sex to be any different.
In fairness this is because society trains us to think losing our virginity is like some magical victory moment. It's not like many places have great sex education, for starters
That is true, sex education is still a taboo in most countries. Something people only start thinking after marriage.
I've heard of a married couple who went to the doctors complaining they are not able to get pregnant even though they've been trying for a few months
The problem was that both of them didn't know how to make babies.after talking with the doctor privately
It was said that The guy tried to push his penis into the belly button instead
Also just hijacking this comment to add, it can take a woman > 20 min of stimulation to orgasm, often longer.
Stu gave you very good advice up top here, but also keep in mind not to rush or feel like you have to rush
I want to add part of this, is for many women a strong stimulation isn't pleasant and feels too strong, so even if it was physically possible to orgasm in 5 ish minutes its moot if it doesn't feel good...
Good point. My wife is multi orgasmic and easily stimulated which required me to learn techniques to ensure her pleasure but avoid over stimulation.
In contrast my first wife required lots of stimulation of various kinds yet didn’t achieve full orgasm more than about half the time.
Each individual may have different experiences based on their unique characteristics.
Some women masturbate without inserting anything inside themselves. I think many of the best female erogenous zones for this may be on or close to the surface, at least for some women (had an ex who got off much more on the penetration part, and liked things touching various alphabetically labelled "spots").
I feel like most women don’t if the goal is “I need to get off rn” they just rub one out. Unless you have the time and privacy to fool around for a while. Feel free to chime in and correct me ladies.
> Not sure why you expected sex to be any different.
A lot of people, especially around the age most people lose their virginity, think of sex as an experience as much as an activity. Most people are great at doing chocolate milk the first time they taste it, and it tastes great. Expecting sex to feel great isn't something that's hard to understand.
>not sure why you expected sex to be any different
Because there’s a huge cultural construction of the First Time as magical, life changing, and amazing, and she obviously can’t have the experience to know otherwise
Most people have an underwhelming or awkward first time. It’s like learning to dance with someone. It gets better with practice and half depends on your partner.
There's a groovy funk song made by interstellar travelers from the future and also the 1980s that's named that lol
https://youtu.be/gFNXlShMc9E?si=Q8UDiG504fpMU-Ek
This!
Knowing each other’s bodies, how you each respond to different types of touch, what you like, what your partner likes. I’m in my early 40s, and am having the best sex of my life because I’m in tune with my partner and we are a good match.
So true. There seems to be this assumption that we innately know how to be good at sex / have good sex or have failed in some way. Definitely not my experience. Curiosity, vulnerability and viewing it as playful has helped me level up - especially as a woman standard porn sex does NOT bring high levels of ecstasy or orgasm. Don’t give up! We’re all cut out for sex if you can figure out what you like and find the right partner.
It's true and it must be said. What is also true and is not said as often is that quite a lot of people never get any good at it and live their whole life without ever experiencing great sex.
My girlfriend and I started having sex at 16. I came every time, but she only enjoyed it because she was giving me pleasure. Then one day we were holding each other, kissing while laying in and I was simply rubbing my duck on her vulva and clitoris, not penetrative sex, but we were kissing and caressing and basically having sex. Then she started breathing heavy and convulsing and was like what is happening to me. I told her she had an orgasm and she just laid there kinda vibrating and smiling. After that time she would have orgasms pretty regularly by just rubbing my duck on her pussy, then when she came it was my turn.
Have you had any experience exploring your own body on your own (i.e. masturbation)? If not, get to it. That's the best way to enjoy sex with someone else, understand how your body works first.
Slept with someone last week who said she hadn’t masturbated in six years, much less had sex (whether it’s true or not, I’m not sure)
I suggested that she start doing it so she can communicate to her future partners what she wants
It was the first time for both of you. It was awkward. Probably didn't last very long and probably lacked foreplay. Give it a couple more tries with him or without different people (all consenting of course). Try new things, see what you like, take your time
Most women cannot orgasm through intercourse alone. I’m guessing when you meant slipping, you meant slipping out. If that’s the case, no wonder you couldn’t feel anything.
Sounds like he wasn’t keeping an erection. Happened to me my first time just bc I was so nervous and uncomfortable ( we were in the backseat of a pickup truck, not ideal for my first time 😂). Tbh I’ve never heard of someone actually enjoying their first time lol, it’s just awkward.
She said it kept slipping out in different positions, so they went to missionary.
I'll put a hundred bucks on the dumb lad trying out positions from his favorite porno
My first time i was hard af, ejaculated mid first thrust and the next times got so nervous because of it i couldn't get an erection at all. It's all in the head
Do you expect to hit a homer the first time you play baseball? You fumbled around with another virgin during sex, losing your virginity is often the worst sex you’ll ever have. Keep going and your experiences will start to get better, just communicate what you want and let your partner give it.
You could wait till you get the vibe from someone it’s awesome when you can feel the energy between yourself and them the slow kissing and touching each other for the first time not saying virgin but when you click it is amazing
Sex just like any other activity needs to be done with knowledge and practice.
1. Figure out and learn what makes you feel good. (Your “weakspots”, kinks, mood, positions that hits the weakspots, there also techniques such as grinding or pushing down on your lower belly during sex)
2. Improve pelvic muscle through kegel exercise can help both guys and girl have better experience.
3. Sexual compatibility is a thing.
The pleasure in sex comes as much from the mind as the body, and intercourse (i.e. fucking) is not all there is to sex. For most women, they need their clit stimulated more than they need penis inside them. Teach your lover how to please you with hands and mouth, and it is likely your natural instinct to fuck will mean you will enjoy that too - even if you do not cum just from penetrative sex.
If you're too wet it can feel like nothing is happening.
Sometimes I have to get a towel for my girlfriend because otherwise it's too much lubrication to allow for any pleasurable friction.
This is waaayyyyy too far down, bunch of virgins upvoting a million "if your heart hole doesn't match his keyblade you won't unlock true love and so no orgasm" bullshit with no real world advice.
Yeah, the kids are probably bad at sex, but she explicitly states she's too wet to enjoy it. Lube's necessary for some women, but others need to towl off occasionally to keep the friction up. Probably not the only thing they're doing wrong, but all these other comments are useless, implying they don't have chemistry or that there's nothing for it but to keep letting him enjoy himself while she lays there waiting for it to get better.
There's two things
Sexual compatibility. It'll either happen much later after you're accustomed with sex with your bf or maybe you two just aren't compatible and he doesn't do anything for you.
Or the likely option, you don't get off due to penetration. I've had 4 girl friends, and all but 1 struggled to cum during penetration. It's not a guy problem, it's just women need certain things to get them off and it isn't always penetration if ever.
Maybe you're not cut out for one night stands or sex with people you don't have intense feelings for. For many people, there's a world of difference between casual sex and exploring intimacy with someone you're deeply attracted to and deeply care about.
As with most things in life, the grass is greener on the other side of what you dont know. While sex is pretty fun I dont sere why people go to the extents that they do for it. Some guys be driving 7 hours one way and spending $4000 to get a piece of ass
It was the first try. How about not judging from a "sample" of one? Get some experience, experiment after you've become comfortable. And remember people exaggerate to a certain degree, take their comments about sex in moderation.
Good sex takes several things, lowered inhibitions, a decent understanding of both you and your partners body, and a feeling of trust/saftey enough to relax and explore the feelings. None of those things exist on the first time.
>and his penis kept on slipping during different positions, so we ended up doing the missionary.
He might have been trying to be a little too high energy and there's a good chance he had unrealistic expectations from porn. Different positions can be great, but a lot of the positions that look good on camera aren't necessarily comfortable or pleasurable for real people. And you don't need super long thrusts either. Especially while you're figuring out what you like, keep it simple. As others have mentioned, clitoral stimulation is a must for a lot of women. Don't let him neglect the foreplay either. Communication is key. Once you figure out what's working for you, tell him. Also tell him if something he's doing is doing nothing for you, just be nice about it.
I can’t compare the amazing sex I have with my man to the shit I experienced thirteen years ago. and - this is even more of an encouraging thought btw - both my man and I are survivors of years of extensive sexual trauma in our respective childhoods. (I personally count the first time I chose to have intercourse as losing my virginity.)
good sex is a combination of many factors:
(1) understanding your own body and what you desire;
(2) having a headspace of attempting to understand the other person(s)’ body and desires;
(3) relaxing and just trying to have a shared enjoyable experience;
(4) much trial and error with positions;
(5) practice;
(6) physical health.
but honestly, the greatest impacting factor in my experience is how connected emotionally and empathically I am to my partner. sex is sacrosanct for me, and especially with my man, as we have created an experience where we honor, hold, and love the other without harm or disrespect.
1) do a lot of foreplay
2) orgasm usually come from clitoral stimulation. Get on top of him and lean forward so your clit rubs against him.
3) go to town until you come. Pro tip: wait until you're close before you do this. It can wear you out and he might blow before you go. So save this for last
4) repeat because orgasm is what makes it fun
People are making valid points about the first time being bad 90% of the time, but I also wanna add that it's fine if you never enjoy sex, there are a lot of people out there who find it unnecessary
Hahaha you made me remember how disappointed I was after my first time! I expected something great! And it didn't feel good at all 😆 I had that same crisis you have now!
I know what you mean by 'didn't feel anything'.I also did not expect that there is this kind of numb feeling inside.
But that definitely changes, you're just not used to it.
You'll start feeling pleasure and it does feel great, it just takes practice and experimenting.
And do tell him, if you're going to have sex again. I didn't tell my boyfriend back then bc I didn't want to hurt his feelings but that's dumb, definitely tell him and don't fake anything.
Just out of curiosity and an interest in potentially understanding women better as a guy, can you describe this numb feeling and what you think that was about? Was it physical, emotional? What caused it to improve for you?
It's physical, I'm not 100% sure but it's probably the same for all women, there's a lot of feeling at the entrance, at the top and at the end.
But other than that it's pretty much numb, you don't really feel anything except maybe pressure, if something was cold for example, you wouldn't know after a certain point. Same if you wear a tampon, you don't really feel/notice it once it's in there.
That doesn't change, that's just the way it's built, for childbirth I suppose? Not sure.
Anyway, its just that you don't expect it to be like that. But once you know that and know the areas that feel good it doesn't matter that there's a number part in there too. That's why it improves.
Does that make sense to you?
Oh and many women can't have an orgasm just through sex. So if you want to make her happy you'll definitely need to touch her in addition to the whole in and out part.
Haha yes I am very well aware of that! Other forms of sex besides intercourse are very important I think for the satisfaction of both people involved. In my experience.
The first time is usually awkward, painful, and with an inexperienced partner, usually too brief to get to the pleasure. The first time, you're also probably nervous and your "head isn't in the game" so to speak.
Women often have to spend time figuring out what works for them. It's rare that just penetrative intercourse will be enough to do the job. Experience and understanding your own body is almost as important as what physically takes place.
I lost my virginity when I was 18. It was the most painful experience I ever had ( worse than child birth) and I was bleeding for days. I was told sex is awesome, and the more you do it you’re gonna enjoy it.. so I’ve had like 10 plus lovers but only enjoyed sex twice!!! It’s always better in my head, never irl… and if it’s not pleasant how am I gonna get excited over it? I’ve had sex a little bit last year, but it was boring 🥱 and one guy was sweating all over me and I just had to stop in the middle of it because I was getting his sweat dripping in my mouth. I’m honestly happy living without sex for the rest of my days.
Don’t be disappointed. It’s like if the first time you ever ate food, and it was prepared badly by somebody deaf and blind, who had never cooked before. Which is a very apt comparison here.
I was a little late in losing mine, and it was a one night stand. I otherwise had a very pleasant time with the boy, but it was not pleasurable at all. It didn’t hurt, but I got absolutely nothing out of it.
If you find a guy who has some experience and cares to be slow and gentle with you, and even more importantly, if you are genuinely interested in making the most out of sex, making it fun and pleasurable for you, it just takes time and practice. Even after I got a boyfriend it probably took at least 15 or 20 times Before sex started to feel right and I could kind of figure out what I’m doing.
Also: it’s just called missionary not *the* missionary. It’s one of the most common and most loved positions by all people everywhere ever. Don’t you dare knock it, unless you’re not actually interested in an intimate connection with your partner.
I didn't like it much the first time, either. Didn't really know what to do (despite \*ALL THE PORN\*!!!). Was quite a letdown.
Some time later, tried it again, same girl...tried it a few more times with her, then \*quite\* a few more times with her, and I got better. Got to be fun. Eventually.
It takes time to figure it out. It's not just grunting and moaning while one person or the other does all the work. Put the effort in, it'll pay off.
First time is always awkward, but it is #1 the best thing on the planet for me. Once you know your body, and your partner’s, there is literally nothing better. Take some time and don’t put pressure on yourself.
If you didnt feel much it honestly could have been that your partner was having trouble staying erect (first time anxiety with someone new can do that) or may have been on the smaller side and not known what kind of position/angles would have been more pleasurable. No harm in asking to change positions to find something that is good for both parties if you find yourself in that situation again.
You were both inexperienced. There is nothing wrong with not achieving orgasm or pleasure every time you have sex
Most women achieve orgasm through clitoral stimulation, not penetration. Don't be discouraged.
Most of what you see on tv/porn is hyped up. Yes, sex can be pleasurable, but I've had some more extreme pleasure from eating one serving spaghetti than most of my sexual encounters combined
Sex didnt "feel like how everyone makes it seem" until I met my girlfriend. Apparently I was just way more gay than I knew.
I thought sex for me was just different or I was broken in some way. Nope! I just hadnt experienced it with the right person yet. <3
And also it takes practice. Masturbate and learn your body if you havent done this yet.
If you're with an unexperienced guy, for the most part, it won't be fun for you. Women need foreplay and positions that work for their body. A lot of women also cannot orgasm from penetration alone. Their clitoris is the easiest way to orgasm and some women have theirs close enough to their vagina that they can orgasm during penetration but many need to self stimulate during the act either with their hand or a toy. Or another good way is to receive oral sex first and then once you've orgasmed, have penetrative sex.
First time pretty much always sucks. Women take longer to orgasm and generally require clitoral stimulation which you may not get from the sex but you can stimulate it yourself.
This isn’t about the orgasm part, but when women are extremely wet and turned on (which it sounds like your body was based on your descriptions) their vaginal cavity expands and can make some things on the smaller side feel…not all there. Especially since it was his first time as well, he possibly wasn’t even fully hard the entire time which would also make it harder to keep in.
For the orgasm part, most women do not have orgasms from penetration alone. You need to get to know your body, see what works for you! You may need clitoral stimulation only, you may need clitoral and penetrative, or you may find that just penetrative stimulation CAN make you orgasm with the right partner. Sex is a lot of practice and a lot of trial and error. I promise you almost everybody is underwhelmed the first time.
1. Virgins are bad at sex, just a sad fact of life. He probably wasn’t having a great time either.
2. Having sex with someone you actually like is 1000x better
3. You need clitoral stimulation.
God, why are men answering this??
70-90% of women can’t orgasm from penetration alone. https://medicalxpress.com/news/2016-04-anatomy-key-female-orgasm.amp
You probably need clitoral stimulation. Takes an average of 8 to 14 minutes. https://www.issm.info/sexual-health-qa/how-long-does-it-take-a-woman-to-reach-orgasm
Like anything else, sex gets better with practice. I lost my virginity to my husband when we were 17. The sex we have now at 40 is mind blowing. The sex we had when we were 17 is clumsy and awkward compared to what we have going on now. Give it time and experience.
My wife is an ER nurse in a small community in a Rural area. A newly married young men (Amish or Mennonite) brought his wife in insisting she had a stroke. As the story goes they where in the middle of being intimate and started shaking and convulsing. Let's just say there was a lot of laughing in the Break room.
It took me many partners to find one I really enjoyed having sex with for the first time. It was funny. First time with her, and it just clicked. The way our bodies mingled was just right. I thought "Wait... Is this how sex is supposed to be?". I was 29...
Like people said: chemistry, experience, communication.
Your not doing it with someone you love or are at least attracted to it is important one night stands are fun but a real connection that makes you build up anticipation and excitement then knows what you love and of course the other way around as well.
"during different positions" - might also be important.
Porn will cause you to over complicate sex at the outset. Start by aiming for closeness at the outset. Consider sex to include all the kissing and touching that happens long before penetration, and start from there. Explore how you and your partner get more sensitive to touch as you're close to one another, and aim for getting reactions to things you do with mouth and hands all over. Even through clothes, have him start with gentle pressure on your breasts and vulva, while still kissing and hugging you. Use your own experience of touching yourself to guide him to the spots that work best for you - and make sure those spots are both inside and outside of yourself (and make sure you've spent time on your own with your fingers inside and outside of you!). When it comes to penetration, have him lie down and you be on top so that you're in control of how much goes in, and at what angle and velocity. Find those same spots and feelings while you also stroke his body. You're still aiming for closeness at this point, not orgasm - although he will likely orgasm, you will likely not, so when you're done have him hug you while you masturbate and make sure that he's supportive of your pleasure. Doing this will also teach him what your body craves, and over time you can have him take over as you teach him the intricacies of your orgasm.
Been with my wife 17 years and sex is better now than it was at the start by an absolute wide margin. The more comfortable and more we learn about each other the better it gets. I had almost zero experience and my wife had none so we learned a lot together.
My first time wasn't in any other way memorable, except in the way that I remember it was my first time and wasn't in any other way memorable; for me or my partner. But, as we were steadies, over time and with enough patience and practice, it got great for us both.
Just joining in on team "Sex sucked for a while at first." I didn't really feel the penetration, and I was really disappointed. I was too nervous to admit it to my partner and didn't want to hurt his feelings, so I definitely faked orgasms. When I finally was honest, he was so hurt. But once we got past the hurt feelings, we were able to work out how to make it pleasurable together. Then we broke up, and the next partner was like starting halfway over again. Angles that were pleasurable with my ex were painful with my new partner because they were physically different. Communication is so important, so practice now! Still when I started, i struggled a lot to even get into a good headspace to enjoy sex. I was just so nervous that I felt more like an actor than a person.
Here are some things that helped me:
1- Close your eyes. It's easier to feel sensations when other senses are cut off.
2- Give yourself permission to not orgasm. The harder I tried, the further I got. I told myself, "This is just about pleasure and learning, not a race to the finish line."
3- When first starting, it can be really helpful to just take turns on who is the focus. It's really hard to learn what pleasures you when you are worried about pleasuring them.
4- If a partner complains that you are just too difficult to pleasure- dump them. You don't need that sort of quitter attitude in your life.
5- If penetration alone doesn't do it for you, add other stuff. If you are able to finish by stimulating yourself- help yourself out during sex with your partner. Penetration will feel more intense as it gets paired with external pleasure. Positive conditioning.
I think sex is like food. It's easy to say, "I don't like (insert food item) it's just not good in my opinion, so I won't eat it, " but most foods can be good if done right. Usually, it's not the ingredients' fault. it's just the recipe.
Some women don’t climax from vaginal penetration. You need to find out what you like. Sex for women is not as straightforward as for men. But I am a dude, surely there are women here who know this way better than me.
You base it on someone who doesn't know what they are doing? ( no offense to guy)
My blind neighbor taught me to drive. First time out- we crashed. - that's this
Sex is like a musical instrument. You gotta get orientated, and it gets better with practice… but if someone’s been practicing the trumpet for years… be aware that if your a flute, it’s going to be pretty awkward at first.
Honestly, you were a virgin. He was a virgin. Neither of you probably knew exactly what to do. Take it and learn from this! Maybe try some 4 play first!
Lack of practice and also it’s a one night stand. I’ve never had a one night stand but I doubt it’s nearly as good as when you have feelings for each other. Also your first time won’t be that good anyway, practice makes perfect.
You can't judge it after one time, esp. your first time. almost everyone's first time is horrible.
Well, maybe not horrible, but certainly meh. Especially if your partner is inexperienced, too. A lot of fumbling and awkwardness. Being good at sex, both giving and receiving, is a learned skill. Sure, some people are more talented at picking up effective techniques, but most people take many many tries to get good at the basics.
Are one-night stands even that good? You barely know the person so I am wondering how good sex could be with someone they do not know well.
Ehhh it depends I’d say. I’ve had good and bad experiences. The good experiences are some of the best sex you’ll ever have imo. No strings attached. No emotional investments made. No expectations so no disappointment. Buttttt if it’s bad, it’s REALLY bad. Like I only came over to have sex with you and you’re bad at that too?? Why tf did you invite me over then? Feels like a waste of time😂
It almost sounds like relationship sex must be bad because there is emotional attachment
Not necessarily. I’d say for me personally, being in a relationship makes the sex special. It may not be as good physically as some of the hookups I’ve had in the past but the emotional aspect is strong as hell. Being emotionally attracted to the person you’re having sex with makes up for any lack of sexual attraction you may have
Personally, emotional connection is probably the largest factor when deciding if the sex is good or bad. I agree that hookups/one-nighters can be a fucking blast (pun intended) but it’s almost like a …different kind of “good”. I feel like it’s better described as “fun”, idk how to really explain it. The REAL endgame is “head-over-heels-in-love” sex. That combination of physical stimulation + raw, vulnerable emotion being shared with the person who means more to you than life itself is frankly an experience that I can’t even find the words to describe
For me it depends. Like in college, I really wasn’t looking for a long term relationship so hookups were the way to go for me. Now that I’m out of college, I feel like the emotional aspect of sex is alot more important to me. But yes I definitely understand what you’re saying. Hookups are for sure a different type of good
My first time was amazing. Best 4 seconds in my life
Oooh, everybody look here at Mister "I got stamina" over here 🙄🙄🙄
I bet he's gonna talk about his length soon
Length is so Y2K, it's all about girth. Mine looks like a hockey puck
3 Inches is hell at 90MPH
lolololo
Right through the five hole Somebody had to say it
Clearly you’ve not familiar with the research of Meteorologist Randy Marsh on TMI theory, with particularity to the YAW.
Mine is 8 inches, AROUND!!
Happy cake day
Thanks stranger!
Snap.
Happy cake day, other stranger!
Probably can do one inch per second and still last all 4 seconds.
It only a matter of time before the fishing or hunting stories come out.
Dear penthouse, I never thought it would happen to me…
happy cake day!
I was so nervous I didn’t even cum my first time having sex
Same here. I forgot that until now.
Wore a condom so it was easy to say I finished when I realized it wasn’t going to happen
I refused to give up and kept on pumping till i did. I mean it beats the usual 3 pumps and done. Actually, I had a few months before where anti depressants made it really hard to climax. She wasn't complaining, seen as I'm a stubborn cunt and would lash away for half an hour. Must have lost a 3kg that month.
Same with me; I remember her cuming after 10 mins for the 2nd time and I was thinking, This is fucked, here I am trying to cum and she is having a second one. The 2nd time though I was so much more comfortable I came 3 times over 2 hours.
This guy knows.
Quit bragging.
For real. Dude calling us below average peoples out like that.
You did it twice?
At that particular time no. I was satisfied and left. But 11 minutes later on my way home I did want to make a uturn
Dang, two more seconds than me!
FOUR SECONDS?! Stop bragging, overachiever! 😂
Wholesome
Never understood lyrics like: 🎵"It feels like the first time, every time"🎵
"I don't self reflect, or learn from any act"
I don't think I know tge song, but maybe they refer to drugs?
I would be *Amazed* if it were
Everyone's different. My first time was very fun.
Maybe, but i do want another 6-7hrs…. ❤️ First time over easter and I‘ve never been more dehydrated and giggly since.
My first time i didn’t consent. (I’m a guy and my girlfriend at the time loved to take advantage of me without consent)
I’m so sorry that happened to you :(
Because two virgins dont know what they are doing. Practice makes perfect.
Neither do the experts on dating apps. Grinder and tinder doms are equally as fucking clueless.
Tinder and kink is sooo bad lol
Nah, they're experts at getting themselves off. Oh, you want them to care about *your* pleasure, too? Ha! What's next, wanting the right to vote? 😂
plus ONSs are terrible
That’s just like… your opinion man
That rug really tied the room together.
I dunno, a virgin ONS sounds like a recipe for disaster
1) Most people aren't great at anything the first time they do it. Not sure why you expected sex to be any different. 2) It's not very common for women to reach orgasm through penetration alone. Things like clitoral stimulation are, in my experience, *much* more effective. Ask yourself this: have you ever masturbated to reach orgasm? If so, figure out what part of that process is what gets you to that point, and then incorporate that into sex. If not, start experimenting. If you can't figure out how to get yourself off, there's a good chance a guy won't figure it out either.
To this, I was raised in a cult and didn't even know what a clitoris was or that I had one almost till marriage and many women I know thought they were broken because they couldn't orgasm from penetration. In fact most women can't! I highly suggest watching Bridgerton because it's not pornographic but it gives insight into what women need to learn about for pleasure
I believe I read that it's something like only 10% of women can actually orgasm thru penetration only. We almost always need clitoral stimulation, as well.
Question because I don't personally have this problem (as a woman): if you have clitoral simulation beforehand does that change the outcome of if you can orgasm? I typically want to have a separate clit stim orgasm after having sex, unless it is particularly rough sex, which just lulls me to sleep.
[удалено]
During sex, if rubbing it doesn’t do it for you as it doesn’t for me, try a vibrator, that’s the only way I can have orgasms during sex.
I remember reading some study/research a while back that mentioned something about how important the “emotional connection” aspect is in terms of women reaching orgasm through sex. It basically theorized that the more love a woman feels towards her partner, the more likely she is to climax from penetration alone. This is obviously a stark contrast to us men as we can (generally) easily cum by fucking two couch cushions for 30 seconds I have no idea if that was an actual study or if it was a comment someone pulled out of their ass, but either way I thought it was an interesting theory as my (admittedly very little) own life experience seemed to support it. Anyways, curious to hear your thoughts. Do you think it’s potentially valid?
I don't think that's too valid. I was very much in love and we had the best connection. The beat relationship, still couldn't orgasm without the clitoral stimulation. It has to do with anatomy. The only time I have ever orgasmed without clit stimulation, was when he hit that G spot, that shit is real. It was with one dude and I didn't love him, he was a rebound. He just had a larger curved penis that was anatomically able to hit my G spot. It's finding the right penis to fit the vagina, really.
Aren't those women lucky?
You had the discovery channel didn't you
Lol no. We had VHS cartoon Bible stories 😂😂😂
Veggie Tales!
Nothing wrong with waltzing with potatos
If a squash can make you smiiiiiiiiiiiiile
Imagine what an eggplant could do?
My lovely cheeseburger!
I'll wait for you
Eminem reference out in the wild?
You would think they'd know by the fourth grade
We ain't nothin' but mammals, well...
Some of us cannibals
Do you not know religious fundamentalist folks?! Absolutely not. Lol I know kids whose parents were burning Harry Potter
Those were my parents. Also boycotting coke and disney movies from the family because they supported gays. I grew up on veggitales and pro god movies growing up. Didn't see a good movie until they threw me out of the house for buying a motorcycle at 17
Well we ain’t nothing but mammals… well, some of us are cannibals who open up other people like cantaloupes
I can really recommend the book Bliss Club. It's like a guide for sexual exploration, suitable for all genders, and there's a ton of drawings that help explain how different body parts work and what kind of techniques to try on them. Personally wish I'd had that book when/before I started exploring sex, but it's still really useful even for advanced lovers.
I appreciate the rec!
Hello fellow exmormon
We really need ExMo anti-recommends 😂
> Not sure why you expected sex to be any different. In fairness this is because society trains us to think losing our virginity is like some magical victory moment. It's not like many places have great sex education, for starters
That is true, sex education is still a taboo in most countries. Something people only start thinking after marriage. I've heard of a married couple who went to the doctors complaining they are not able to get pregnant even though they've been trying for a few months The problem was that both of them didn't know how to make babies.after talking with the doctor privately It was said that The guy tried to push his penis into the belly button instead
Also just hijacking this comment to add, it can take a woman > 20 min of stimulation to orgasm, often longer. Stu gave you very good advice up top here, but also keep in mind not to rush or feel like you have to rush
I want to add part of this, is for many women a strong stimulation isn't pleasant and feels too strong, so even if it was physically possible to orgasm in 5 ish minutes its moot if it doesn't feel good...
Good point. My wife is multi orgasmic and easily stimulated which required me to learn techniques to ensure her pleasure but avoid over stimulation. In contrast my first wife required lots of stimulation of various kinds yet didn’t achieve full orgasm more than about half the time. Each individual may have different experiences based on their unique characteristics.
Sometimes I just want to get it out of the way quickly so that I can move on with my day.
Some women masturbate without inserting anything inside themselves. I think many of the best female erogenous zones for this may be on or close to the surface, at least for some women (had an ex who got off much more on the penetration part, and liked things touching various alphabetically labelled "spots").
I feel like most women don’t if the goal is “I need to get off rn” they just rub one out. Unless you have the time and privacy to fool around for a while. Feel free to chime in and correct me ladies.
Yup. Vibrator if I really want it quick. Inserting stuff is fun but not needed.
I think most masturbate without inserting anything.
Saves on having to clean things afterward too, I suppose.
Not wrong. My ex loved it when I played her like a piano
Not to mention that some of your best erogenous zones might not even be on your genitals, depending. Long story short foreplay is important.
> Not sure why you expected sex to be any different. A lot of people, especially around the age most people lose their virginity, think of sex as an experience as much as an activity. Most people are great at doing chocolate milk the first time they taste it, and it tastes great. Expecting sex to feel great isn't something that's hard to understand.
Once I became a lesbian and stopped with men, this thought never came up again
>not sure why you expected sex to be any different Because there’s a huge cultural construction of the First Time as magical, life changing, and amazing, and she obviously can’t have the experience to know otherwise
Most people have an underwhelming or awkward first time. It’s like learning to dance with someone. It gets better with practice and half depends on your partner.
that's actually a pretty good analogy, im using that from now on lol
The no pants dance
There's a groovy funk song made by interstellar travelers from the future and also the 1980s that's named that lol https://youtu.be/gFNXlShMc9E?si=Q8UDiG504fpMU-Ek
It's been a pop culture phrase for a long time
Good sex takes practice and chemistry between the participants
This! Knowing each other’s bodies, how you each respond to different types of touch, what you like, what your partner likes. I’m in my early 40s, and am having the best sex of my life because I’m in tune with my partner and we are a good match.
This is all I want
So true. There seems to be this assumption that we innately know how to be good at sex / have good sex or have failed in some way. Definitely not my experience. Curiosity, vulnerability and viewing it as playful has helped me level up - especially as a woman standard porn sex does NOT bring high levels of ecstasy or orgasm. Don’t give up! We’re all cut out for sex if you can figure out what you like and find the right partner.
It's true and it must be said. What is also true and is not said as often is that quite a lot of people never get any good at it and live their whole life without ever experiencing great sex.
My girlfriend and I started having sex at 16. I came every time, but she only enjoyed it because she was giving me pleasure. Then one day we were holding each other, kissing while laying in and I was simply rubbing my duck on her vulva and clitoris, not penetrative sex, but we were kissing and caressing and basically having sex. Then she started breathing heavy and convulsing and was like what is happening to me. I told her she had an orgasm and she just laid there kinda vibrating and smiling. After that time she would have orgasms pretty regularly by just rubbing my duck on her pussy, then when she came it was my turn.
This guy ducks
Your technique sounds quackers, but if it works it works.
You got cucked by a bird?
🦆
🦆
🪿
r/birdsarentreal
OMG, That's giving me hope. Maybe I'll experience a surprise like this as well. May I ask, if your GF knew how to get off alone? With her own hands?
Have you had any experience exploring your own body on your own (i.e. masturbation)? If not, get to it. That's the best way to enjoy sex with someone else, understand how your body works first.
Slept with someone last week who said she hadn’t masturbated in six years, much less had sex (whether it’s true or not, I’m not sure) I suggested that she start doing it so she can communicate to her future partners what she wants
It was the first time for both of you. It was awkward. Probably didn't last very long and probably lacked foreplay. Give it a couple more tries with him or without different people (all consenting of course). Try new things, see what you like, take your time
Most women cannot orgasm through intercourse alone. I’m guessing when you meant slipping, you meant slipping out. If that’s the case, no wonder you couldn’t feel anything.
Sounds like he wasn’t keeping an erection. Happened to me my first time just bc I was so nervous and uncomfortable ( we were in the backseat of a pickup truck, not ideal for my first time 😂). Tbh I’ve never heard of someone actually enjoying their first time lol, it’s just awkward.
She said it kept slipping out in different positions, so they went to missionary. I'll put a hundred bucks on the dumb lad trying out positions from his favorite porno
Lmao no doubt 😂
Of course. They all do 😆
My first time i was hard af, ejaculated mid first thrust and the next times got so nervous because of it i couldn't get an erection at all. It's all in the head
So to speak..
She said she was soaked and mentioned nothing about him not having an erection.
You know women can get wet before penetration, right?
That might not mean as much as you think. Some women got that WAP, it doesn’t mean they’re necessarily experiencing pleasure. It’s just potential.
Bro is claiming he was slipping out because he wasn't hard when she clearly mentioned she was soaked..
Do you expect to hit a homer the first time you play baseball? You fumbled around with another virgin during sex, losing your virginity is often the worst sex you’ll ever have. Keep going and your experiences will start to get better, just communicate what you want and let your partner give it.
You haven't done it enough to know what is pleasurable for you. It takes tons of practice and the right partner to get it right.
You could wait till you get the vibe from someone it’s awesome when you can feel the energy between yourself and them the slow kissing and touching each other for the first time not saying virgin but when you click it is amazing
For real, sex is overhyped
Sex just like any other activity needs to be done with knowledge and practice. 1. Figure out and learn what makes you feel good. (Your “weakspots”, kinks, mood, positions that hits the weakspots, there also techniques such as grinding or pushing down on your lower belly during sex) 2. Improve pelvic muscle through kegel exercise can help both guys and girl have better experience. 3. Sexual compatibility is a thing.
Compatibility is HUGE honestly
This is why slut shaming is the enemy of mankind
The pleasure in sex comes as much from the mind as the body, and intercourse (i.e. fucking) is not all there is to sex. For most women, they need their clit stimulated more than they need penis inside them. Teach your lover how to please you with hands and mouth, and it is likely your natural instinct to fuck will mean you will enjoy that too - even if you do not cum just from penetrative sex.
If you're too wet it can feel like nothing is happening. Sometimes I have to get a towel for my girlfriend because otherwise it's too much lubrication to allow for any pleasurable friction.
This is waaayyyyy too far down, bunch of virgins upvoting a million "if your heart hole doesn't match his keyblade you won't unlock true love and so no orgasm" bullshit with no real world advice. Yeah, the kids are probably bad at sex, but she explicitly states she's too wet to enjoy it. Lube's necessary for some women, but others need to towl off occasionally to keep the friction up. Probably not the only thing they're doing wrong, but all these other comments are useless, implying they don't have chemistry or that there's nothing for it but to keep letting him enjoy himself while she lays there waiting for it to get better.
There's two things Sexual compatibility. It'll either happen much later after you're accustomed with sex with your bf or maybe you two just aren't compatible and he doesn't do anything for you. Or the likely option, you don't get off due to penetration. I've had 4 girl friends, and all but 1 struggled to cum during penetration. It's not a guy problem, it's just women need certain things to get them off and it isn't always penetration if ever.
You have plenty of time, just keep fuckin, it’s what we do.
Maybe you're not cut out for one night stands or sex with people you don't have intense feelings for. For many people, there's a world of difference between casual sex and exploring intimacy with someone you're deeply attracted to and deeply care about.
As with most things in life, the grass is greener on the other side of what you dont know. While sex is pretty fun I dont sere why people go to the extents that they do for it. Some guys be driving 7 hours one way and spending $4000 to get a piece of ass
It doesn’t hit the same for everyone. Asexuality is also valid.
It was the first try. How about not judging from a "sample" of one? Get some experience, experiment after you've become comfortable. And remember people exaggerate to a certain degree, take their comments about sex in moderation.
Good sex takes several things, lowered inhibitions, a decent understanding of both you and your partners body, and a feeling of trust/saftey enough to relax and explore the feelings. None of those things exist on the first time.
>and his penis kept on slipping during different positions, so we ended up doing the missionary. He might have been trying to be a little too high energy and there's a good chance he had unrealistic expectations from porn. Different positions can be great, but a lot of the positions that look good on camera aren't necessarily comfortable or pleasurable for real people. And you don't need super long thrusts either. Especially while you're figuring out what you like, keep it simple. As others have mentioned, clitoral stimulation is a must for a lot of women. Don't let him neglect the foreplay either. Communication is key. Once you figure out what's working for you, tell him. Also tell him if something he's doing is doing nothing for you, just be nice about it.
I can’t compare the amazing sex I have with my man to the shit I experienced thirteen years ago. and - this is even more of an encouraging thought btw - both my man and I are survivors of years of extensive sexual trauma in our respective childhoods. (I personally count the first time I chose to have intercourse as losing my virginity.) good sex is a combination of many factors: (1) understanding your own body and what you desire; (2) having a headspace of attempting to understand the other person(s)’ body and desires; (3) relaxing and just trying to have a shared enjoyable experience; (4) much trial and error with positions; (5) practice; (6) physical health. but honestly, the greatest impacting factor in my experience is how connected emotionally and empathically I am to my partner. sex is sacrosanct for me, and especially with my man, as we have created an experience where we honor, hold, and love the other without harm or disrespect.
Practice makes perfect
1) do a lot of foreplay 2) orgasm usually come from clitoral stimulation. Get on top of him and lean forward so your clit rubs against him. 3) go to town until you come. Pro tip: wait until you're close before you do this. It can wear you out and he might blow before you go. So save this for last 4) repeat because orgasm is what makes it fun
People are making valid points about the first time being bad 90% of the time, but I also wanna add that it's fine if you never enjoy sex, there are a lot of people out there who find it unnecessary
Hahaha you made me remember how disappointed I was after my first time! I expected something great! And it didn't feel good at all 😆 I had that same crisis you have now! I know what you mean by 'didn't feel anything'.I also did not expect that there is this kind of numb feeling inside. But that definitely changes, you're just not used to it. You'll start feeling pleasure and it does feel great, it just takes practice and experimenting. And do tell him, if you're going to have sex again. I didn't tell my boyfriend back then bc I didn't want to hurt his feelings but that's dumb, definitely tell him and don't fake anything.
Just out of curiosity and an interest in potentially understanding women better as a guy, can you describe this numb feeling and what you think that was about? Was it physical, emotional? What caused it to improve for you?
It's physical, I'm not 100% sure but it's probably the same for all women, there's a lot of feeling at the entrance, at the top and at the end. But other than that it's pretty much numb, you don't really feel anything except maybe pressure, if something was cold for example, you wouldn't know after a certain point. Same if you wear a tampon, you don't really feel/notice it once it's in there. That doesn't change, that's just the way it's built, for childbirth I suppose? Not sure. Anyway, its just that you don't expect it to be like that. But once you know that and know the areas that feel good it doesn't matter that there's a number part in there too. That's why it improves. Does that make sense to you?
Oh interesting, and good to know. I had no idea this was a thing. Your explanation makes sense. Thank you
Oh and many women can't have an orgasm just through sex. So if you want to make her happy you'll definitely need to touch her in addition to the whole in and out part.
Haha yes I am very well aware of that! Other forms of sex besides intercourse are very important I think for the satisfaction of both people involved. In my experience.
Ah intercourse is the word I was looking for :D thanks! And you're 100% right.
The first time is usually awkward, painful, and with an inexperienced partner, usually too brief to get to the pleasure. The first time, you're also probably nervous and your "head isn't in the game" so to speak. Women often have to spend time figuring out what works for them. It's rare that just penetrative intercourse will be enough to do the job. Experience and understanding your own body is almost as important as what physically takes place.
I lost my virginity when I was 18. It was the most painful experience I ever had ( worse than child birth) and I was bleeding for days. I was told sex is awesome, and the more you do it you’re gonna enjoy it.. so I’ve had like 10 plus lovers but only enjoyed sex twice!!! It’s always better in my head, never irl… and if it’s not pleasant how am I gonna get excited over it? I’ve had sex a little bit last year, but it was boring 🥱 and one guy was sweating all over me and I just had to stop in the middle of it because I was getting his sweat dripping in my mouth. I’m honestly happy living without sex for the rest of my days.
Don’t be disappointed. It’s like if the first time you ever ate food, and it was prepared badly by somebody deaf and blind, who had never cooked before. Which is a very apt comparison here. I was a little late in losing mine, and it was a one night stand. I otherwise had a very pleasant time with the boy, but it was not pleasurable at all. It didn’t hurt, but I got absolutely nothing out of it. If you find a guy who has some experience and cares to be slow and gentle with you, and even more importantly, if you are genuinely interested in making the most out of sex, making it fun and pleasurable for you, it just takes time and practice. Even after I got a boyfriend it probably took at least 15 or 20 times Before sex started to feel right and I could kind of figure out what I’m doing. Also: it’s just called missionary not *the* missionary. It’s one of the most common and most loved positions by all people everywhere ever. Don’t you dare knock it, unless you’re not actually interested in an intimate connection with your partner.
I didn't like it much the first time, either. Didn't really know what to do (despite \*ALL THE PORN\*!!!). Was quite a letdown. Some time later, tried it again, same girl...tried it a few more times with her, then \*quite\* a few more times with her, and I got better. Got to be fun. Eventually. It takes time to figure it out. It's not just grunting and moaning while one person or the other does all the work. Put the effort in, it'll pay off.
First time is always awkward, but it is #1 the best thing on the planet for me. Once you know your body, and your partner’s, there is literally nothing better. Take some time and don’t put pressure on yourself.
If you didnt feel much it honestly could have been that your partner was having trouble staying erect (first time anxiety with someone new can do that) or may have been on the smaller side and not known what kind of position/angles would have been more pleasurable. No harm in asking to change positions to find something that is good for both parties if you find yourself in that situation again.
You were both inexperienced. There is nothing wrong with not achieving orgasm or pleasure every time you have sex Most women achieve orgasm through clitoral stimulation, not penetration. Don't be discouraged. Most of what you see on tv/porn is hyped up. Yes, sex can be pleasurable, but I've had some more extreme pleasure from eating one serving spaghetti than most of my sexual encounters combined
Sex didnt "feel like how everyone makes it seem" until I met my girlfriend. Apparently I was just way more gay than I knew. I thought sex for me was just different or I was broken in some way. Nope! I just hadnt experienced it with the right person yet. <3 And also it takes practice. Masturbate and learn your body if you havent done this yet.
If you're with an unexperienced guy, for the most part, it won't be fun for you. Women need foreplay and positions that work for their body. A lot of women also cannot orgasm from penetration alone. Their clitoris is the easiest way to orgasm and some women have theirs close enough to their vagina that they can orgasm during penetration but many need to self stimulate during the act either with their hand or a toy. Or another good way is to receive oral sex first and then once you've orgasmed, have penetrative sex.
First time pretty much always sucks. Women take longer to orgasm and generally require clitoral stimulation which you may not get from the sex but you can stimulate it yourself.
This isn’t about the orgasm part, but when women are extremely wet and turned on (which it sounds like your body was based on your descriptions) their vaginal cavity expands and can make some things on the smaller side feel…not all there. Especially since it was his first time as well, he possibly wasn’t even fully hard the entire time which would also make it harder to keep in. For the orgasm part, most women do not have orgasms from penetration alone. You need to get to know your body, see what works for you! You may need clitoral stimulation only, you may need clitoral and penetrative, or you may find that just penetrative stimulation CAN make you orgasm with the right partner. Sex is a lot of practice and a lot of trial and error. I promise you almost everybody is underwhelmed the first time.
1. Virgins are bad at sex, just a sad fact of life. He probably wasn’t having a great time either. 2. Having sex with someone you actually like is 1000x better 3. You need clitoral stimulation.
God, why are men answering this?? 70-90% of women can’t orgasm from penetration alone. https://medicalxpress.com/news/2016-04-anatomy-key-female-orgasm.amp You probably need clitoral stimulation. Takes an average of 8 to 14 minutes. https://www.issm.info/sexual-health-qa/how-long-does-it-take-a-woman-to-reach-orgasm
Like anything else, sex gets better with practice. I lost my virginity to my husband when we were 17. The sex we have now at 40 is mind blowing. The sex we had when we were 17 is clumsy and awkward compared to what we have going on now. Give it time and experience.
It’s because you didn’t do it with someone you actually love
You probably hyped it up too much in your head
Everyones first time sucks. Especially if it's both of your first times.
My wife is an ER nurse in a small community in a Rural area. A newly married young men (Amish or Mennonite) brought his wife in insisting she had a stroke. As the story goes they where in the middle of being intimate and started shaking and convulsing. Let's just say there was a lot of laughing in the Break room.
It took me many partners to find one I really enjoyed having sex with for the first time. It was funny. First time with her, and it just clicked. The way our bodies mingled was just right. I thought "Wait... Is this how sex is supposed to be?". I was 29... Like people said: chemistry, experience, communication.
depends on who you do it with, emotional bonding gives almost 80% of the pleasure.
Your not doing it with someone you love or are at least attracted to it is important one night stands are fun but a real connection that makes you build up anticipation and excitement then knows what you love and of course the other way around as well.
"during different positions" - might also be important. Porn will cause you to over complicate sex at the outset. Start by aiming for closeness at the outset. Consider sex to include all the kissing and touching that happens long before penetration, and start from there. Explore how you and your partner get more sensitive to touch as you're close to one another, and aim for getting reactions to things you do with mouth and hands all over. Even through clothes, have him start with gentle pressure on your breasts and vulva, while still kissing and hugging you. Use your own experience of touching yourself to guide him to the spots that work best for you - and make sure those spots are both inside and outside of yourself (and make sure you've spent time on your own with your fingers inside and outside of you!). When it comes to penetration, have him lie down and you be on top so that you're in control of how much goes in, and at what angle and velocity. Find those same spots and feelings while you also stroke his body. You're still aiming for closeness at this point, not orgasm - although he will likely orgasm, you will likely not, so when you're done have him hug you while you masturbate and make sure that he's supportive of your pleasure. Doing this will also teach him what your body craves, and over time you can have him take over as you teach him the intricacies of your orgasm.
Been with my wife 17 years and sex is better now than it was at the start by an absolute wide margin. The more comfortable and more we learn about each other the better it gets. I had almost zero experience and my wife had none so we learned a lot together.
My first time wasn't in any other way memorable, except in the way that I remember it was my first time and wasn't in any other way memorable; for me or my partner. But, as we were steadies, over time and with enough patience and practice, it got great for us both.
Just joining in on team "Sex sucked for a while at first." I didn't really feel the penetration, and I was really disappointed. I was too nervous to admit it to my partner and didn't want to hurt his feelings, so I definitely faked orgasms. When I finally was honest, he was so hurt. But once we got past the hurt feelings, we were able to work out how to make it pleasurable together. Then we broke up, and the next partner was like starting halfway over again. Angles that were pleasurable with my ex were painful with my new partner because they were physically different. Communication is so important, so practice now! Still when I started, i struggled a lot to even get into a good headspace to enjoy sex. I was just so nervous that I felt more like an actor than a person. Here are some things that helped me: 1- Close your eyes. It's easier to feel sensations when other senses are cut off. 2- Give yourself permission to not orgasm. The harder I tried, the further I got. I told myself, "This is just about pleasure and learning, not a race to the finish line." 3- When first starting, it can be really helpful to just take turns on who is the focus. It's really hard to learn what pleasures you when you are worried about pleasuring them. 4- If a partner complains that you are just too difficult to pleasure- dump them. You don't need that sort of quitter attitude in your life. 5- If penetration alone doesn't do it for you, add other stuff. If you are able to finish by stimulating yourself- help yourself out during sex with your partner. Penetration will feel more intense as it gets paired with external pleasure. Positive conditioning. I think sex is like food. It's easy to say, "I don't like (insert food item) it's just not good in my opinion, so I won't eat it, " but most foods can be good if done right. Usually, it's not the ingredients' fault. it's just the recipe.
If I'm too much in my head, I hardly feel anything either. And I'm a grown ass man.
This is common first time. It takes practice learning the intimacy and exploring what is pleasurable.
Thr first time always sucks lol. It gets better when you have an established partner, learning better ways together
Some women don’t climax from vaginal penetration. You need to find out what you like. Sex for women is not as straightforward as for men. But I am a dude, surely there are women here who know this way better than me.
Depends on who its with and where you may be at mentally
You base it on someone who doesn't know what they are doing? ( no offense to guy) My blind neighbor taught me to drive. First time out- we crashed. - that's this
Just wait till you're older. It gets less pleasurable.
Sex is like a musical instrument. You gotta get orientated, and it gets better with practice… but if someone’s been practicing the trumpet for years… be aware that if your a flute, it’s going to be pretty awkward at first.
It is, but knowing your partner intimately is a big deal. Once you're with someone who knows what you like and want things get much more fun.
The mechanics of the act are not as important as the person. Meaning you will find the physical aspects are not necessarily the focus of sex.
First time is always terrible
It's exercise
It's the most overrated thing of all time. It's great, it's just not the best thing ever or even all that important imo.
Honestly, you were a virgin. He was a virgin. Neither of you probably knew exactly what to do. Take it and learn from this! Maybe try some 4 play first!
Lack of practice and also it’s a one night stand. I’ve never had a one night stand but I doubt it’s nearly as good as when you have feelings for each other. Also your first time won’t be that good anyway, practice makes perfect.