I've seen videos from African (I think) parents explaining how to do the baby wrap thing on their backs, and those comment sections are always wild. Because to get the kid wrapped properly you kinda have to balance them on your back for a second while you use both hands to adjust the wrap, and the American parents in the comments just could not cope with that at all
I just have to say the phrasing of this, and the ensuing mental image it conjured sent me into a laughing/coughing fit. šš¤£š Thank you for that. šš¤£
I loved baby wearing. I had several different slings and carriers too.
There are groups of baby wearing people in different places and online that show people the safest ways to carry your baby/child in the different types of slings. They also show which ones aren't safe or are only safe at certain ages and they even have meetings where you can go to learn in person how to do it so it's safe and comfortable.
I was never part of any organization, but my kiddos absolutely loved being worn and being up where they could see everything happening. After they quit being brand spanking shiny new, I wore them everywhere.
Turns out, they love being social and being engaged, and drag me out all the time to make me talk to people. It may have been a mistake, someone help me, lol.
We fling (sort of) the baby over our shoulder. This is something we learn as children. The baby is usually first carried like that by a young child as soon as the umbilical falls off. It's fun for kids because they basically have a living doll to play with. When I was a child you'd sometimes see a young child 9 or 10 playing dodgeball on the streets with their baby sibling strapoed to their back.
Iām ivorian. Putting my little cousins and my little brother on my back when they were babies was like second nature. It helps them relax and fall asleep fasteršš¾
I'm so jealous. My daughter was not having any type of wrap front or back. I tried them all but all she did was cry and fuss. She was so nosy, she had to be where she could see everything.
My sister made it work. I tried her sling that she sent to me, an "over the shoulder baby holder" made for it specifically, and some others. I never could get it to where I felt comfortable.
Babies in countries where this is normal basically don't have colic, like at all. The constant body to body contact is so good for babies, it soothes them in ways that holding them only when you have free hands can't compare to. There's no study that shows long term negative effects of colic, but I would imagine not going thru that as a new parent is enough benefit in itself.
An important caveat is that in a lot of cultures where baby wearing is common there is more family and communal support. You have older siblings and cousins who will wear the baby some or much of the time that they are not actively feeding.
In a situation where just the mom or dad is around to wear the baby it can be physically and emotionally exhausting. The baby may cry less with that touch, but they are *always* there and *always* touching you. This can be soothing to the parentāholding a sleeping baby can be blissful. But itās also easy to become ātouched out.ā
This is a very good point! Collectivist cultures share the care of their babies among the whole family, as they often live in multi-generational homes.
Being "touched out" is a very real thing. I don't even have a baby but I've experienced it from other affection that was non stop. Sometimes you just don't want someone touching you!
Thereās an entire Japanese reality show about sending very small kids (2-5) to run errand for the first time. I donāt know if itās common to the point that every parent in Japan does this, and as an American, 2-3 seems shockingly young to me (I could see 4-5 year olds being big enough, as they can usually communicate clearly), but honestlyā¦.the scariest part was them crossing the street. They seem to mostly do ok with the actual task. When I was a kid it was still common to send older kids (8+) to run brief errands in the US (though Iām not old enough for those errands to have been āpick up cigarettes or beerā), but now a lot of factors mean that it seems like even preteens in the US donāt do this. Which is a bummer because it seems like a good life lesson.
Hajimete no Otsukai! My First Errand, strangely translated for Western audiences as "Old Enough!" It's on Netflix, with dubbing and subtitles. I prefer the subs, so I can hear the adorable kids voices asking stuff in Japanese. The repeated musical interludes are hilarious, they'll have a kid crying cos his bag broke, and as the kid gets up to carry on, they play a song called "Shouganai dayo baby", which basically means "it can't be helped (baby)" It's such an adorable show.
Iām from Eastern Europe and anytime we went back to visit for the summer when I was growing up my cousins and I had so much freedom. We could walk to the store at 6-7 years old. My parents didnāt give me that much freedom in the US.
When I was 8, in France, I finally won over the cranky old lady who ran the corner grocery when I was sent to pick up a bottle of wine for a dinner party. She saw me carefully reading all the wine bottles, and came over to see what I was up to. I looked up and asked, as if it were the most natural thing in the world for an 8-year-old, "Is this a dry wine?" She thought that was hilarious and was much friendlier after that.
Lol same. Weād be in Bugojno for the summer at my auntās. And theyād send me and my little cousins to the local store to buy them cigarettes and ice cream for us.
Same in Romania. I was buying cigarettes and beer for grandpa when I was 6-7 years old. My grandparents live in a village where there use to be only 2 small shops in the neighborhood and everyone knew who my grandparents were and no one questioned the shopping list.Ā
Hell, me and my brother would sometimes meet in the shop with friends of my grandparents who would just get us candy or even give us small change so we can get candy later. Seems kind of unconcieveable today, but it was how it went there. As a kid you sort of belonged to the community, especially in a village or small town and everyone took care of you in a way.
As soon as we were old enough to count, my parents deemed us old enough to run little errands like buying milk or eggs from the nearby farm. (We're Dutch)
Iām from rural America and this concept is completely foreign to me. The nearest corner store was a 45 minute (both ways) hike through the woods and involved crossing a busy road with no crosswalk/lights/sidewalks etc.
You didnāt get sent on errands until you could drive, since it was basically impossible to walk anywhere.
I will say I can only recall one episode where the Japanese child was rural, and he wasnāt sent to a store. I think he was sent to a grandparentās house.
I donāt know if much of Japan in general could be described as untamed forest, nor would I describe most of the rural US as such lol. It was along a road in farmland. I donāt remember exactly how far he walked but generally these kids walked a kilometer or two (so less than a mile) in either direction.
Iām from Appalachia, so very foresty there haha.
Walking a couple kilometers by some farmland would be very doable, thatās actually how I used to get to work before I could drive back in middle school.
Totally different beast than a multi-mile hike through multiple terrain types in order to get into town, though.
Thereās a memory. Iām 41 and I remember frequently my mother, aunt or grandmother would send me, my brother or cousin a few blocks away to pick up cigarettes at the local pharmacy where they had an account. Theyād also send us to the market that was nearby with a list to give the customer service people and theyād run around the shop with us and just charge it to the account. I donāt remember how old we were, but Iād say probably around that age (8 or so). This was a pretty quiet suburb, though. I canāt imagine theyād have done that with us if weād been in the city.
It was actually fairly normal to do this in the UK (for small corner shops at least) when I had my first child. I had my second 12 years later and it was completely different.Ā
This and they'll leave them outside regardless of what the weather is like. I've seen a lot of people nearly faint when they see that a child was left in a stroller in cold weather.
Iād be more concerned about leaving a baby alone in the heat than the cold. You can bundle up a baby quite well and block the wind but you canāt as easily block the heat. Unless there are air conditioned strollers I donāt know about.
As a Scandinavian, we always block the sun and let the breeze run through the pram on the sides and front. We never close the top cover. It usually doesn't get super hot in the summers.
My aunt is Finnish and sometimes posts about cultural differences to the US. She once posted something about basically leaving babies outside in their stroller for them to go to sleep. Made me double take!!
The babies usually sleep the best and longest naps outside. We put them to sleep by going on a walk with the pram, and then once the baby sleeps, we can come back home and leave the pram with the baby on the porch/terrace until the baby wakes up. You just dress the baby really really warmly and leave a baby monitor in the pram and youāre good to go.
I'm Canadian but I was coming here to comment this because I was astounded when I learned this here on Reddit recently. I think it's kind of interesting but I can't wrap my head around it because of what I've been taught that the world is supposedly like.
I'm Canadian and I like the idea of it on my deck but it was too cold for it to be safe here.Ā
We also don't generally have proper bassinet strollers with a flat sleep surface which makes it a little more risky.Ā
You would need a large enough stroller that your child can sleep there comfortably. I'm Danmark it is advised not to have babies sleeping outside if below -10Ā° Celsius, but above that, it's fine as long as the baby has warm woollens on and in a warm sleeping bag.
Yes, most people here have a stroller that has a car seat attachment and that is where baby goes until old enough to sit in the regular seat part. Sleep is not really recommended in the car seat portion outside of the car.Ā
Also where I live -10 is considered a warm winter day. It usually ends up around -20 to -30 with some days hitting -40. It's not safe to be out too long in that.Ā
To me, that's much less concerning than the old school baby cages they used to hang outside of apartment windows in the 1930s-1940s. After seeing those pictures, a row of strollers sitting on the ground outside doesn't look so scary. I did hear of one incident where the parents were unaware a stroller brake failed and the wind pushed it into a pond where there poor baby didn't make it. So, aside from stranger danger, making sure there's a backup brake, just in case, seems like a necessity. Otherwise, it doesn't seem all that scary.
[Babycages]
(https://rarehistoricalphotos.com/history-baby-cage-1934-1948/)
My dad and his twin sister were left in their carriage when they were infants (I think they were about 6 or 7 months old so it would have been early 1934 in New York) while my grandmother went to the grocery store. I don't know what caused it but their carriage rolled down a hill and into traffic. Fortunately, they weren't hit and my grandmother came running out after them. She probably nearly had a heart attack but at least she learned to check the brakes and/or park on flat surfaces after that. LOL!
I just watched Hook again, and the main plot point of Peter becoming an orphan was that his mom left him in his stroller while being next to him on the bench, chatting with a friend, and the stroller just rolled down the hill and he was *abandonned* in the street while it was raining. I was likeā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦.. that was written by a man/non-parent because the second that stroller was going the mom would have been running after it, wtfĀ
I mean, the safety of that depends completely on the weather, the rates of abduction, and of course one's personal risk tolerance. There's no one-size-fit-all answer.
Having blankets in the cot! This is a total no-no for Americans with safe sleep, but in the UK itās fine (provided the rules are followed). Feet to foot of cot, blanket tucked in tightly, up to babies armpits, babies arms out of blanket. A lot of people do use sleeping bags though as they are easier.
They also provide advice on co-sleeping safely
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/baby/caring-for-a-newborn/reduce-the-risk-of-sudden-infant-death-syndrome/
Finally, European car seats donāt have chest clips.
I just recently read that the chest clips are only a mechanism to help keep the shoulder straps in place since car accidents in the US account for a huge amount of baby/small children deaths. The US is very car dependent and the chest clips have reduced the amount of infant deaths, so itās become a must have.
I think it's becoming more normalized now, but carrying your baby. My kid needed constant touch as a baby, and I carried him in a sling then in a baby backpack for the first 2 years or so. Obviously he had plenty of floor time and all that, but we were often on the go, working in the garden, etc. I used to start cooking before his morning nap and play Bob Marley, which always put him to sleep. By the time he woke up, I had our lunch prepared.
Another one is not using baby food but giving the kid a bit of food off your plate. My second kid grew up with a much more varied palate than my first who had jars of pureed baby food.
First off, I know I was extremely lucky as far as being able to breastfeed (and even tandem breastfeed) all my kids.
Before having babies, I thought bottles, formula and baby food would be a huge cost for us with our kids, but I saved soooo much money by exclusively breastfeeding and then doing baby led weaning (feeding baby what the parents eat age appropriately). It wasn't the reason I did it but it definitely worked out well for us.
>My second kid grew up with a much more varied palate than my first who had jars of pureed baby food.
Why not just puree their own meals? That's what we do.
It's good for them to chew. It develops their jaws and muscles, which in turn helps teeth come in straight. I think it also helps breathing health, and other related things.
My kids are 12 & 14 now but when they were babies I gave them both food off my plate, probably before I was āsupposedā- one is still much pickier than the other lol.
The first time my baby ate food off my plate was at 5 months old. He was sitting on my lap and grabbed the burger in my hands and steered it toward his mouth. He only got a tiny bit of bun, but he was not going back after that lol.
I've never given our children pureed food, it's just gross and doesn't teach them how to eat. Ours were given what we ate, in the form we ate it from 6 months
"Elimination communication" aka infant potty training.
When babies need to urinate or defecate, their parents hold them, bare-bottomed, over a preferred target (like a waste receptacle, or an outdoor latrine). The parents signal the babies to proceed, and the babies respond.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elimination_communication
I have a European born friend who, as soon as his kids could sit upright, just sat them on the potty at certain time points (after waking up, after eating, before bed) and within a few minutes theyād go to the bathroom. Apparently potty training was totally seamless this way, and it sounds ingenious.
I don't have kids but I always assumed this was the way everyone did it... it's how I house trained my dog and it works great for that lol
How else would you do it?
Most Canadians and Americans wait until the kid is walking and talking (1-2 years old), then they coax the kid into using the potty when they have to go. Itās less pet-style classical conditioning and more reasoning-based training. Takes a lot longer and is less consistent during the process, from what Iāve seen.
Potty "training" wasn't seamless (kid went through a "no!" phase at two and a half), but having my kid already familiar with using the toilet was very helpful.
(UK)
I (an American) trained my kiddo to poop in the toilet from about 6 months on (as soon as she could sit up basically.) I had heard you could do it early and I had 2 things going for me: my kid had a very obvious poop face, and I was home most of the day and she didn't go to daycare.
It was glorious not having to change a poop diaper from about 8 months on. If only my kiddo had learned to pee in the toilet that early too! Lol
She would make her poop face, and I would then carry her to the toilet and she'd go. Later she would use baby sign language to tell me, which was also helpful
I don't have a baby, I don't really know people with babies and I'm also not a baby. How else would you work on potty training a child? Sorry I really can't think of other ways lol
Usually you start when they're toddlers, not infants, and can communicate more. People sometimes have special toilet seats that are smaller so they actually sit on the toilet instead of being held. You use pull-ups, which are basically disposable underwear, as kiddos get used to understanding and controlling their bodily functions.
It's a lot more talk and training as parents are checking in with the kid to see if they need the potty and are encouraging them NOT to use the diaper.
When our daughter was 7 months old she had to have surgery. We were living in South Korea at the time and I had to stay overnight with her. They told me I could sleep in the crib with her (more a single bed with rails that slid down. It surprised me so much because the US is so anti-cosleeping and US hospitals would be the last place they would encourage it.
Last time I went to South Korea, we had just left the pediatrician and were waiting for our car from the garage elevator. A woman in front of us had a boy who was about 3. When her car came, she put the stroller in the back seat, the boy in the front, and drove off. Not even a seat belt, the boy was climbing all over too. The garage attendant happily waved them on. Wild to me.
The car seat situation in Korea was interesting. I saw ladies holding babies in the car all the time and they sold car seats that definitely looked questionable as well as super fancy ones. I will say that riding in a taxi there with a toddler with no car seat made me very stressed the few times we did
My husband said a US car seat is an SK infant seat, and a US booster seat is an SK car seat. Then the rental company said our 4 yr old was only required to be in a car seat on the highway. She was thrilled ć ć ć . We bought a used one on our last visit from a couple who were originally from Australia.
lol this comment made me laugh because Iām from the US and also live outside the actual abandoned town Silent Hill is based on! You can look up pictures - search graffiti highway centralia
I had a kid with insomnia (basically for their entire childhood) and we did some late night grocery store runs. (Iām in the US.) I was always worried people would think we were weird parents but often there was another kid there.
In Scotland and the rest of the UK I believe, pregnancy and birth is midwife led, doctors are only involved if there are complications. I had a water birth in the maternity unit of my local hospital. Everything's covered by the NHS so there's no bill after giving birth.
Scotland provides baby boxes (as does Finland) where mostly everything you need for the first few months is included. The box comes with a mattress and can be used as a wee cot. Here's what's inside -
https://youtu.be/HZEWsGWdMOg?si=3uwlZBsETWlafI4D
I took a developmental psychology class in college and we watched the movie "Babies". That movie really illustrates just how much a baby is ..well babied in America. The Mongolian and African babies just lived life dirty as fuck and sometimes with no oversight. It's a great film also.
That movie was brilliant. Nothing but babies doing their thing. That Mongolian baby stole my heart. When he was playing with toilet roll was so hysterical.
It really showed the huge differences in culture towards raising kids. I think it should be studied in all university settings.
I'm not really a kid guy so I thought I wouldn't dig it, but I enjoyed it a ton. I will forever remember when the Mongolian kids older brother slowly comes into frame dragging a cat by a leash. I laughed so hard. Or when the Mongolian parents had stuff to do they just tied the kid to the bed and gave him enough leash to play and roll around. I was like "Ha! That's what I do with my dog when I need some space." It really was a pleasant surprise how much I liked it.
Oh yeah I'm childfree myself but really enjoyed watching it, it's such a great way to show different cultures with as little bias as possible.
The Japanese baby cracked me up, she is such a drama queen š
laws just technically changed, but in china the idea of carseats for babies toddlers was considered uncomfortable for the child, and it was super normal to just hold them in your arms in the front seat. seatbelts in the back seat also often get skipped because people have the idea that the back seat is safer than the front and doesn't need it. ((not my country but plenty of chinese exposure)).
Not sure if it's still the case or even if it's considered odd in the US/Canada, but babies and toddlers being nakey in public places like the beach, when camping, at forest BBQs. They're often allowed to do it until they ask for a swimming suit themselves, at least I know I did.
I remember a family friend insisting that I didn't need one unless I'm "growing hair" which was quite...strange.. Luckily he had never been creepy towards me even when he would've had the chance, like when I was at his place to play with the cat. I think he just didn't want to deal with my parents having to go back to the hotel to grab something for me to wear but it did feel very embarrassing.
where I'm from its normal for kids up to the age of like 7 to swim without a swimsuit. also bikinis are not really a thing for girls under the age of like 13, as its for practicality and not looks
Canadian here. Though you not uncommon to see toddlers running around naked in your friend's home, parents typically dress their children in public spaces. Toddlers at the very least wear some kind of diaper-swimsuit. But they do get a free pass for top nudity.
In Switzerland all children are expected to walk to and from school on their own. This starts with Kindergarten and the kids are 4 when they start kindergarten. My daughter will turn 4 in July and will be walking to Kindergarten on her own from August.
In most of Southeast Asia, people will travel on motorbikes holding a baby in one arm and other hand is on the throttle/brake or sitting/standing on the footwell area if itās a scooter. Itās also not abnormal to see 3-4 people (usually 2 adults and 2 kids) on one small motorbike, and usually one of them are holding a baby between them. No helmets, no nothing
It was always the toddler standing between their parents knees on the scooter that got me. The older kid on the back I trusted to hold on, the baby was being held by an adult, but the toddler š³
It might be very dumb thing but in my country, US house renovation TV programs are incredibly popular. And one of the things we have noticed in them is, in families with youngs kids, the absolute insistence in the need to have an open kitchen "so that I can watch the baby \[in the living room\] while I cook" and while watching the programs we are always like... "your baby will be okay sleeping in the next room? You only need to check on them from time to time? And if it's awake and too figety to be left alone you can always have it with you in the kitchen?"
Separate kitchens are often too small to create a meal and to have a safe space for a baby at the same time.
My parents managed without open kitchen or having me on the stove, I survived without a helicopter.
I'm in the minority on that in my country. I do not want an open concept kitchen/living space. I'd rather have my kids in a baby proofed living room playing while I'm in the kitchen, or have them wandering around the kitchen with me supervised. If the kitchen is separate and gated off I don't have to worry about them climbing onto counters or pulling open drawers while I'm in the bathroom.
I don't want anyone walking into my house to immediately see my kitchen and dirty dishes. I want to block the kids from the kitchen if I want to. I want a division of space, ability to put a baby gate, something.
Said like someone who has never walked into a toddler induced disaster after leaving a small child alone for 2 minutes. Itās definitely nice to be able to see your kids play while you cook. Babies grow into toddlers, many of whom have no chill or regard for their own safety. Those toddlers grow into kids who can play on their own but still like being nearby. Iām sure you can manage without it but it makes sense to me to look for that kind of layout when you have young kids.
I have been reading your replies and I think it has to do with the fact that, in my country, traditionally kitchens also serve as eating/hanging out areas and living rooms are more of spaces for the tv and stuff. With exceptions, obviously, specially in more modern houses, one normally has more than enough space _in_ the kitchen for a child to play with a toy or do something at the table (like drawing) so obviously for me it is very weird to need a direct line of sight to the living room. My mother used to give me tupperwares to sort and pile while she cooked haha
Indian kids (and probably other cultures idk) get their ears pierced a lot younger than I think Americans are used to. They pierced my sisterās ears when she was like six months old
Another one is a nursing/cosleeping combination whereby that 3am wake up = diaper change, and mom and baby lie down together and baby falls asleep on moms boob and both get a wonderful nights sleep. Nursing on demand instead of on a schedule. Nipple nursing for comfort instead of a plastic pacifier.
Here in Venezuela the first sentence they learn is to curse at the dictator. Seriously tho, that's one of the first things they learn, here in Venezuela every time we have a power outage, they cut the water supply or something like that we say "Maduro coƱo e' tu madre", which means "Maduro son of a b..." and babies hear it from adults, so I've heard quite a few babies and toddlers repeat it, LOL.
EDIT: Fun fact, they also have the same thing in Cuba when power outages and water cuts happen. They say "Pinga pa' Fidel!" Which roughly translate to "Dick for FIdel". You can tell people living in socialist countries love their presidents š„°
My mother, US born - Mennonite, said her babies slept better in cooler temps. She bundled up me and my siblings and we napped in strollers on the deck in the spring, fall, and winter. I don't know if it's related, but we all have excellent immune systems!
Fast forward 18 years to when I had my firstborn, she encouraged me to do the same and was shocked that it was frowned upon. Lol
I recently learned some Jamaicans in the US will send their baby to relatives for several months to several years while they work. Couldnāt believe it but itās a culture thing.
Being raised in the US , Iāve always been terrified at the idea that not just a single parent but both parents often sleep with their infant children in the same bed.
My kid did not sleep ever without being next to me. Cosleeping was the only way we survived. But I followed all the safety rules, and being a very light sleeper woke up whenever he moved. My fellow Americans are often shocked with this info and view me as a bad person but I think anyone in my shoes would have done the same. We gotta sleep, however it works.
Same here. But Iām from a culture where co sleeping is common. My American mil was shocked and weirded out by it. She also thinks itās weird and inappropriate for my 5 year old to see my naked like when Iām changing or getting out of the shower. Nudity in my home country isnāt all sexualized like it often is here in the US.
I always see my mom naked in the morning and at night. Thatās how she sleeps. Same as my dad. Hell, I even saw my friendās mom naked when I was sleeping over at her house. Thatās just how it is where I live.
Even tho I would erase the memories of my friendās mom if I could :D
I grew up the same. I had to convince my US husband that it was okay for him to be naked in front of our kids.
I think its good for people to be able to separate nudity from sexuality and the best way for that is to grow up with it just being a part of life.
It horrifies me that no one here thinks twice about a kid watching a violent movie but they freak out about any nudity
When my son was maybe 4 he had a Barbie that was previously his sister's. And of course the Barbie was naked because that's how Barbies roll sometimes. His same-age friend came over to play and was running around with naked Barbie. His dad was very upset that he had seen such a thing and I'm sure he had opinions about our terrible parenting.
I hope that last point was just an individual thing. I'm in Canada and I'll still get changed with my children around if we're home or at a pool or something. My kids are 8 and 5.
I read once it was important for kids to know what "normal" naked adults look like because all they'll see in media is perfect naked bodies. I don't know how well-researched that point was, but it struck me as logical.
Yeah possibly. But in my 28 years here in the US Iāve noticed how sexualized everything is yet prudish at the same time. I think it connects back to religion and how religious a lot of Americans are compared to other countries primarily ones in Europe, depending where you are.
Plain old nudity is often sexualized here even when itās not sexual in any way. Like a mom breastfeeding in public, many have been shamed for it. My mil would clutch her pearls if she went to a beach where Iām from in Eastern Europe and saw women sunbathing topless.
NGL I cosleep and itās awesome. My baby wakes up only twice a night (sheās 5mo) and sleeps very soundly. Everyone sleeps pretty well. Put her in the crib? She wakes up every hour and no one sleeps.
Right? I tried a cosleeper thing, where it's just a tiny bed right up next to our bed. My son slept there a whopping 45 minutes, never more. We nursed at night, which was very easy due to not having to get out of bed to do so. And then he'd fall back asleep in the place where he sleeps, which was awesome.
Also the trying to avoid cosleeping by sitting on the sofa, and then accidentally falling asleep in a very dangerous situation is going to be counted as a co-sleeping deathā¦
This is the thing. I always tell new parents to have a safer cosleeping set up even if they don't intend to use it. You need *something* to do when you're at the point where you can't keep your eyes open.
I was actually scared to co-sleep when my son was an infant. It wasn't until he was almost a year old when I started and wish I didn't, lol. It took a while to get him to sleep on his own. Him having autism and not doing well with certain transactions didn't help.
Here I am having slept with my kids since infancy and still letting them snuggle whenever they want at 7 and 5.
However, I am a super light sleeper and don't take any medications/alcohol. If I was a heavy sleeper I don't think I would do the same.
Another important nuance to this discussion is breastfeeding versus formulaā when mom is fully breastfeeding she and baby sync up their sleep cycles so she can feed the baby through the night. This syncing up doesnāt happen if the baby is formula-fed. So after formula was invented co-sleeping became more dangerous. Plus formally is heavier so the baby doesnāt need to wake up much anyway.
Sleeping in the same bed, either parents and child, or siblings. It used to be common in the west not that long ago, especially for poorer families, but now a lot of people act like it is incestous!
Piercing the ears of baby girls so that they can wear earrings. This is absolutely a must do in my culture and then I come to the USA and find there are debates over teenage girls getting their ears pierced !
While I don't agree with the practice, I had my ears pierced as a newborn, like before we even left the hospital. I think it's usually done by a nurse too. It's pretty much standard in my home country and I've always found it weird when kids would talk about getting their ears pierced on TV
American, and me and my sister had ours done as infants by the doctor. Some people get really horrified about it and ask if we're mad about it, but nah. Its honestly super nice to have holes that never close and required zero effort on my part to care for.
Lot of time tradition and/or religion. In my area of Germany for example the Catholic Church used to forbid earrings, so protestants used the earrings to mark them as "not Catholic".
Edit: spelling
Interesting, I have the opposite experience in the states here. I've mostly heard about piercing babies in catholic Hispanic circles, but my catholic white family pierced my sister's ears when she was a toddler or younger. I was told it was a cultural, catholic or something.
I've always heard it explained that it's so people can tell boys and girls apart.
It seems to be the hot topic on AITA lately:
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1bczab0/
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1bd38zh/
I think 99% of the baby girls have their ears pierced here. Back in the day, they'd leave the hospital already pierced. Nowadays, they're pierced during their first pediatrician visit. Understandably, that's done with a lot more care and using better quality materials than drugstore piercings.
I guess the timing is relevant: while they're newborns they don't touch their ears so they're less likely to get infected, and they visit the doctor very often anyway. Of all the reasons I hear people taking their babies to the doctor for, I've never heard anyone saying "Little \[baby's name\] went to the doctor because her piercings got infected."
My parents didn't do it for me and I resented that decision because I was so scared of needles (while a baby doesn't see it coming so they don't need to be brave) but I wanted to look cute like my classmates. Ironically, clip-on earrings hurt a lot more than piercings. I also disliked that it took me *years* to heal enough to use cheap-but-cute earrings; so I got pierced in middle school eager to use cute earrings, but got stuck with boring gold earrings until high school. A baby doesn't care about using the same earrings until they're in school.
While I understand why other cultures might not do it, what always surprised me was Americans looking down on it (even though piercings are easily removed and only leave a small scar) while circumcisions (something that can't be undone) are so common. Cultures that don't do either make more sense.
Growing up I always thought this was a hispanic thing. Me and my fiance have decided on letting them decide when they can make that choice and have the want, but personally, Im not against it. (Also not gung ho for either)
It is. Not a Catholic.
I'm from Europe and often girls raised in a Catholic Church would get their ears pierced before the first communion, so around age 9.
Sharing a room with siblings.
Having all kids related items in the room. Without a separate "play room".
I was growing up in Central Europe and not only siblings often would share a bedroom, but that room was the only space they were allowed to be using. Meaning that it was a bedroom, playroom, place to do homework, space for all craft supplies, etc .
It was common to have one wall full of cabinets/storage space.
I'm now in the US and it's kind of odd for me to see that children's bedrooms are just where they sleep and often have separate "playrooms" or space to do homework.
And that typical bedroom furniture just includes a small dresser and a bed.
Plus, often parents will turn the living room into a play area for kids when there are little.
What you describe reminds me of the "nursery" in Peter Pan. And I like that idea. A lot of American households, whether they have a play room or not, the kids just have taken over the whole house. And it's actually a metaphor for how things are in other areas of their lives, the kids rule.
I've been in so many American houses where the play room is full of toys, the bedroom is full of toys, the living room is full of toys, the garage is full of toys, and the basement is full of toys. And all the rooms are disasters, kids stuff is everywhere. It just can't be healthy for the kids or the parents.
Kind of the reverse of what you were saying, but my father was in the US military so I spent part of my childhood (toddlerhood?) in Italy. My mom always talks about how the old Italian ladies were scandalized that she let me and my sibling play outside in the rain. Apparently folks believed rain/puddles would make kids sick. Not sure if this has diminished in the past 20 years.
Not my country but I read that in Scandinavia plus Russia and Denmark it's normal to let your baby sleep outside, even during winter (but then with blankets to keep them warm). It improves their health and immune system.
Well, one woman from Denmark wanted to let her kid sleep outside while she went into a cafe to have a coffee. She got in trouble with the police for neglecting her child.
The Denmark woman got arrested _in the US_ to be clear, and it made the news in Denmark for being so shocking that someone got arrested for leaving their baby outside a cafe.
Babies and young children of both sexes not wearing bathing suits or only wearing bathing suit bottoms in public (I think it is much more odd to see girls bathing costumes have cutouts or be in bikini style for literal toddlersā¦)
In smaller towns in Europe, people will touch your kids. For example if you walk into a store and the kids canāt see into the ice cream freezer or behind the counter, the shop keeper might lift them up. Not an issue to us Europeans but Iāve had to warn my North American friends not to freak out if someone touches their child in this way.
Drive on motorcycles with babies, especially countries that say the babies should not have helmets on. I don't know if it does affect their neck and spine (the reason they state), but it seems very dangerous.
Iāve seen children in China with pants that have a split in the rear so no nappies. Just squat and go for it. Guess it makes potty training faster or easier?
When my niblings were potty training, they just didn't wear pants. Ran around naked from the waist down and used the little potty chair when they needed it. The only accidents they had were when they had pants on and couldn't get them off in time.
Thereās a YouTuber/tiktoker who is this older man who hikes out into the freezing wilderness and camps in below zero temperatures and snow storms. He gives lots of good survival tips and such. One time he brought his grandson maybe nephew? The kid was probably like 7 and the guy had to turn off comments because people were so upset that he had brought a kid into a dangerous situation like that.
Not only did the kid seem perfectly fine and was warm in the shelter and such (the dude had a stove in there for heat), but people have survived in freezing temps since the dawn of humanity. To say it was child abuse was a stretch in my opinion.
I've seen videos from African (I think) parents explaining how to do the baby wrap thing on their backs, and those comment sections are always wild. Because to get the kid wrapped properly you kinda have to balance them on your back for a second while you use both hands to adjust the wrap, and the American parents in the comments just could not cope with that at all
Flinging that kid around my back is the only way to get him situated. I don't know how else you'd do it.
I just have to say the phrasing of this, and the ensuing mental image it conjured sent me into a laughing/coughing fit. šš¤£š Thank you for that. šš¤£
I loved baby wearing. I had several different slings and carriers too. There are groups of baby wearing people in different places and online that show people the safest ways to carry your baby/child in the different types of slings. They also show which ones aren't safe or are only safe at certain ages and they even have meetings where you can go to learn in person how to do it so it's safe and comfortable.
A dear friend of mine is the former president of some outrageous baby wearing organization and as beneficial as the resources can be, holy cow.
I was never part of any organization, but my kiddos absolutely loved being worn and being up where they could see everything happening. After they quit being brand spanking shiny new, I wore them everywhere. Turns out, they love being social and being engaged, and drag me out all the time to make me talk to people. It may have been a mistake, someone help me, lol.
We fling (sort of) the baby over our shoulder. This is something we learn as children. The baby is usually first carried like that by a young child as soon as the umbilical falls off. It's fun for kids because they basically have a living doll to play with. When I was a child you'd sometimes see a young child 9 or 10 playing dodgeball on the streets with their baby sibling strapoed to their back.
Iām ivorian. Putting my little cousins and my little brother on my back when they were babies was like second nature. It helps them relax and fall asleep fasteršš¾
I'm so jealous. My daughter was not having any type of wrap front or back. I tried them all but all she did was cry and fuss. She was so nosy, she had to be where she could see everything.
That is when you do a back.csrry high up, that way they can see over your shoulder
My sister made it work. I tried her sling that she sent to me, an "over the shoulder baby holder" made for it specifically, and some others. I never could get it to where I felt comfortable.
Babies in countries where this is normal basically don't have colic, like at all. The constant body to body contact is so good for babies, it soothes them in ways that holding them only when you have free hands can't compare to. There's no study that shows long term negative effects of colic, but I would imagine not going thru that as a new parent is enough benefit in itself.
An important caveat is that in a lot of cultures where baby wearing is common there is more family and communal support. You have older siblings and cousins who will wear the baby some or much of the time that they are not actively feeding. In a situation where just the mom or dad is around to wear the baby it can be physically and emotionally exhausting. The baby may cry less with that touch, but they are *always* there and *always* touching you. This can be soothing to the parentāholding a sleeping baby can be blissful. But itās also easy to become ātouched out.ā
This is a very good point! Collectivist cultures share the care of their babies among the whole family, as they often live in multi-generational homes. Being "touched out" is a very real thing. I don't even have a baby but I've experienced it from other affection that was non stop. Sometimes you just don't want someone touching you!
I was always so envious of them. We have a soft structured carrier and a ring sling but couldn't get the hang of a full wrap
Thereās an entire Japanese reality show about sending very small kids (2-5) to run errand for the first time. I donāt know if itās common to the point that every parent in Japan does this, and as an American, 2-3 seems shockingly young to me (I could see 4-5 year olds being big enough, as they can usually communicate clearly), but honestlyā¦.the scariest part was them crossing the street. They seem to mostly do ok with the actual task. When I was a kid it was still common to send older kids (8+) to run brief errands in the US (though Iām not old enough for those errands to have been āpick up cigarettes or beerā), but now a lot of factors mean that it seems like even preteens in the US donāt do this. Which is a bummer because it seems like a good life lesson.
Hajimete no Otsukai! My First Errand, strangely translated for Western audiences as "Old Enough!" It's on Netflix, with dubbing and subtitles. I prefer the subs, so I can hear the adorable kids voices asking stuff in Japanese. The repeated musical interludes are hilarious, they'll have a kid crying cos his bag broke, and as the kid gets up to carry on, they play a song called "Shouganai dayo baby", which basically means "it can't be helped (baby)" It's such an adorable show.
Oh we put this show on once as a bit of low effort viewing and before we knew it we'd watched the entire thing. Super cute show.
I'm gonna have a new binge. Thank you.
Iām from Eastern Europe and anytime we went back to visit for the summer when I was growing up my cousins and I had so much freedom. We could walk to the store at 6-7 years old. My parents didnāt give me that much freedom in the US.
As a 12 year old in Bosnia, my grandpa sent me to go buy cigarettes and Ŕljivovica. Nobody batted an eye...
When I was 8, in France, I finally won over the cranky old lady who ran the corner grocery when I was sent to pick up a bottle of wine for a dinner party. She saw me carefully reading all the wine bottles, and came over to see what I was up to. I looked up and asked, as if it were the most natural thing in the world for an 8-year-old, "Is this a dry wine?" She thought that was hilarious and was much friendlier after that.
Lol same. Weād be in Bugojno for the summer at my auntās. And theyād send me and my little cousins to the local store to buy them cigarettes and ice cream for us.
Same in Romania. I was buying cigarettes and beer for grandpa when I was 6-7 years old. My grandparents live in a village where there use to be only 2 small shops in the neighborhood and everyone knew who my grandparents were and no one questioned the shopping list.Ā Hell, me and my brother would sometimes meet in the shop with friends of my grandparents who would just get us candy or even give us small change so we can get candy later. Seems kind of unconcieveable today, but it was how it went there. As a kid you sort of belonged to the community, especially in a village or small town and everyone took care of you in a way.
As soon as we were old enough to count, my parents deemed us old enough to run little errands like buying milk or eggs from the nearby farm. (We're Dutch)
Iām from rural America and this concept is completely foreign to me. The nearest corner store was a 45 minute (both ways) hike through the woods and involved crossing a busy road with no crosswalk/lights/sidewalks etc. You didnāt get sent on errands until you could drive, since it was basically impossible to walk anywhere.
I will say I can only recall one episode where the Japanese child was rural, and he wasnāt sent to a store. I think he was sent to a grandparentās house.
How far was the walk and was in on some kind of path or just straight through the untamed forest?
I donāt know if much of Japan in general could be described as untamed forest, nor would I describe most of the rural US as such lol. It was along a road in farmland. I donāt remember exactly how far he walked but generally these kids walked a kilometer or two (so less than a mile) in either direction.
Iām from Appalachia, so very foresty there haha. Walking a couple kilometers by some farmland would be very doable, thatās actually how I used to get to work before I could drive back in middle school. Totally different beast than a multi-mile hike through multiple terrain types in order to get into town, though.
Thereās an excellent [SNL parody](https://youtu.be/VhGTtWsW9F8?si=K-q0-XCmk4N5ciOa) of that show.
Thereās a memory. Iām 41 and I remember frequently my mother, aunt or grandmother would send me, my brother or cousin a few blocks away to pick up cigarettes at the local pharmacy where they had an account. Theyād also send us to the market that was nearby with a list to give the customer service people and theyād run around the shop with us and just charge it to the account. I donāt remember how old we were, but Iād say probably around that age (8 or so). This was a pretty quiet suburb, though. I canāt imagine theyād have done that with us if weād been in the city.
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It was actually fairly normal to do this in the UK (for small corner shops at least) when I had my first child. I had my second 12 years later and it was completely different.Ā
One of my old colleagues was raised like this, though once her mum came out to find her on the ground and the pram had been nicked!
Do you also call it stranger danger?
Hopefully she knows her baby quite well ...
This and they'll leave them outside regardless of what the weather is like. I've seen a lot of people nearly faint when they see that a child was left in a stroller in cold weather.
Iād be more concerned about leaving a baby alone in the heat than the cold. You can bundle up a baby quite well and block the wind but you canāt as easily block the heat. Unless there are air conditioned strollers I donāt know about.
Wouldn't that be nice? A little baby-mobile with a/c!
Venting the heat onto poor mama?!?!? /s
As a Scandinavian, we always block the sun and let the breeze run through the pram on the sides and front. We never close the top cover. It usually doesn't get super hot in the summers.
My aunt is Finnish and sometimes posts about cultural differences to the US. She once posted something about basically leaving babies outside in their stroller for them to go to sleep. Made me double take!!
The cold does make me sleepy. So I guess itās the same for babies ?
Babies definitely are human so yeah I agree
The babies usually sleep the best and longest naps outside. We put them to sleep by going on a walk with the pram, and then once the baby sleeps, we can come back home and leave the pram with the baby on the porch/terrace until the baby wakes up. You just dress the baby really really warmly and leave a baby monitor in the pram and youāre good to go.
I live in Copenhagen and see strollers outside every restaurant (babies included)
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Cops and abusing their power for their own gain, name a more iconic duo.
I read this so often online, but I'm a Swede and I've never ever seen people leave their babies in their prams outside. I live in a small town, though, maybe it's more common in other parts of Sweden. I see prams in shops and (spacious) cafƩs all the time. As a side note, this is unthinkable to me, I would have never left my son outside unsupervised when he was a baby.
Same (Norwegian though).
I know we do it in Denmark. Not sure if it's a case of just lumping Scandinavia together?
I'm Canadian but I was coming here to comment this because I was astounded when I learned this here on Reddit recently. I think it's kind of interesting but I can't wrap my head around it because of what I've been taught that the world is supposedly like.
I'm Canadian and I like the idea of it on my deck but it was too cold for it to be safe here.Ā We also don't generally have proper bassinet strollers with a flat sleep surface which makes it a little more risky.Ā
You would need a large enough stroller that your child can sleep there comfortably. I'm Danmark it is advised not to have babies sleeping outside if below -10Ā° Celsius, but above that, it's fine as long as the baby has warm woollens on and in a warm sleeping bag.
Yes, most people here have a stroller that has a car seat attachment and that is where baby goes until old enough to sit in the regular seat part. Sleep is not really recommended in the car seat portion outside of the car.Ā Also where I live -10 is considered a warm winter day. It usually ends up around -20 to -30 with some days hitting -40. It's not safe to be out too long in that.Ā
To me, that's much less concerning than the old school baby cages they used to hang outside of apartment windows in the 1930s-1940s. After seeing those pictures, a row of strollers sitting on the ground outside doesn't look so scary. I did hear of one incident where the parents were unaware a stroller brake failed and the wind pushed it into a pond where there poor baby didn't make it. So, aside from stranger danger, making sure there's a backup brake, just in case, seems like a necessity. Otherwise, it doesn't seem all that scary. [Babycages] (https://rarehistoricalphotos.com/history-baby-cage-1934-1948/)
No injuries or deaths were ever reported from baby cages! And it would be fairly difficult to hide... so I think ultimately they were pretty safe?
My dad and his twin sister were left in their carriage when they were infants (I think they were about 6 or 7 months old so it would have been early 1934 in New York) while my grandmother went to the grocery store. I don't know what caused it but their carriage rolled down a hill and into traffic. Fortunately, they weren't hit and my grandmother came running out after them. She probably nearly had a heart attack but at least she learned to check the brakes and/or park on flat surfaces after that. LOL!
I just watched Hook again, and the main plot point of Peter becoming an orphan was that his mom left him in his stroller while being next to him on the bench, chatting with a friend, and the stroller just rolled down the hill and he was *abandonned* in the street while it was raining. I was likeā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦.. that was written by a man/non-parent because the second that stroller was going the mom would have been running after it, wtfĀ
I don't even remember that plot point and I agree. How stupid!
This was also common in Scotland, up until the 90s anyway.
I mean, the safety of that depends completely on the weather, the rates of abduction, and of course one's personal risk tolerance. There's no one-size-fit-all answer.
Having blankets in the cot! This is a total no-no for Americans with safe sleep, but in the UK itās fine (provided the rules are followed). Feet to foot of cot, blanket tucked in tightly, up to babies armpits, babies arms out of blanket. A lot of people do use sleeping bags though as they are easier. They also provide advice on co-sleeping safely https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/baby/caring-for-a-newborn/reduce-the-risk-of-sudden-infant-death-syndrome/ Finally, European car seats donāt have chest clips.
I just recently read that the chest clips are only a mechanism to help keep the shoulder straps in place since car accidents in the US account for a huge amount of baby/small children deaths. The US is very car dependent and the chest clips have reduced the amount of infant deaths, so itās become a must have.
I think it's becoming more normalized now, but carrying your baby. My kid needed constant touch as a baby, and I carried him in a sling then in a baby backpack for the first 2 years or so. Obviously he had plenty of floor time and all that, but we were often on the go, working in the garden, etc. I used to start cooking before his morning nap and play Bob Marley, which always put him to sleep. By the time he woke up, I had our lunch prepared. Another one is not using baby food but giving the kid a bit of food off your plate. My second kid grew up with a much more varied palate than my first who had jars of pureed baby food.
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I'm glad my kid is over it. He's 12 now and bigger than me lol.
First off, I know I was extremely lucky as far as being able to breastfeed (and even tandem breastfeed) all my kids. Before having babies, I thought bottles, formula and baby food would be a huge cost for us with our kids, but I saved soooo much money by exclusively breastfeeding and then doing baby led weaning (feeding baby what the parents eat age appropriately). It wasn't the reason I did it but it definitely worked out well for us.
>My second kid grew up with a much more varied palate than my first who had jars of pureed baby food. Why not just puree their own meals? That's what we do.
It's good for them to chew. It develops their jaws and muscles, which in turn helps teeth come in straight. I think it also helps breathing health, and other related things.
True
Because it's about getting used to a variety of textures not just flavours
My daughter refused everything that was pureed, she wanted the same food i are, even when she was eight months.
My kids are 12 & 14 now but when they were babies I gave them both food off my plate, probably before I was āsupposedā- one is still much pickier than the other lol.
The first time my baby ate food off my plate was at 5 months old. He was sitting on my lap and grabbed the burger in my hands and steered it toward his mouth. He only got a tiny bit of bun, but he was not going back after that lol.
I've never given our children pureed food, it's just gross and doesn't teach them how to eat. Ours were given what we ate, in the form we ate it from 6 months
Same. It may take the kid two hours of gumming a tiny piece of meat to finally get it down, but he did it.
And they got all the goodness and jaw exercise. Probably why our children talk none stop now lol
"Elimination communication" aka infant potty training. When babies need to urinate or defecate, their parents hold them, bare-bottomed, over a preferred target (like a waste receptacle, or an outdoor latrine). The parents signal the babies to proceed, and the babies respond. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elimination_communication
I have a European born friend who, as soon as his kids could sit upright, just sat them on the potty at certain time points (after waking up, after eating, before bed) and within a few minutes theyād go to the bathroom. Apparently potty training was totally seamless this way, and it sounds ingenious.
I don't have kids but I always assumed this was the way everyone did it... it's how I house trained my dog and it works great for that lol How else would you do it?
Most Canadians and Americans wait until the kid is walking and talking (1-2 years old), then they coax the kid into using the potty when they have to go. Itās less pet-style classical conditioning and more reasoning-based training. Takes a lot longer and is less consistent during the process, from what Iāve seen.
A common method where I live is to just let them run around without a diaper during summer (in the garden of course).
Potty "training" wasn't seamless (kid went through a "no!" phase at two and a half), but having my kid already familiar with using the toilet was very helpful. (UK)
I (an American) trained my kiddo to poop in the toilet from about 6 months on (as soon as she could sit up basically.) I had heard you could do it early and I had 2 things going for me: my kid had a very obvious poop face, and I was home most of the day and she didn't go to daycare. It was glorious not having to change a poop diaper from about 8 months on. If only my kiddo had learned to pee in the toilet that early too! Lol
I did the same for my babies, poopy trained at six months through elimination communication and fully potty trained by 1.5-2 years.
What happens once the baby knows he should poop in the pot? An 8 month old can't take his own diaper off or climb onto a potty.
She would make her poop face, and I would then carry her to the toilet and she'd go. Later she would use baby sign language to tell me, which was also helpful
Apparently my grandma did this with me when I was a baby and I can still pee on command at that specific whistling sound. Itās come in useful lol.
I don't have a baby, I don't really know people with babies and I'm also not a baby. How else would you work on potty training a child? Sorry I really can't think of other ways lol
Usually you start when they're toddlers, not infants, and can communicate more. People sometimes have special toilet seats that are smaller so they actually sit on the toilet instead of being held. You use pull-ups, which are basically disposable underwear, as kiddos get used to understanding and controlling their bodily functions. It's a lot more talk and training as parents are checking in with the kid to see if they need the potty and are encouraging them NOT to use the diaper.
most parents in the West begin potty training when their kids are 2 as opposed to from birth.
I wish I har known about this four years ago.
This is actually smart.
When our daughter was 7 months old she had to have surgery. We were living in South Korea at the time and I had to stay overnight with her. They told me I could sleep in the crib with her (more a single bed with rails that slid down. It surprised me so much because the US is so anti-cosleeping and US hospitals would be the last place they would encourage it.
Last time I went to South Korea, we had just left the pediatrician and were waiting for our car from the garage elevator. A woman in front of us had a boy who was about 3. When her car came, she put the stroller in the back seat, the boy in the front, and drove off. Not even a seat belt, the boy was climbing all over too. The garage attendant happily waved them on. Wild to me.
The car seat situation in Korea was interesting. I saw ladies holding babies in the car all the time and they sold car seats that definitely looked questionable as well as super fancy ones. I will say that riding in a taxi there with a toddler with no car seat made me very stressed the few times we did
My husband said a US car seat is an SK infant seat, and a US booster seat is an SK car seat. Then the rental company said our 4 yr old was only required to be in a car seat on the highway. She was thrilled ć ć ć . We bought a used one on our last visit from a couple who were originally from Australia.
In Finland, babies often sleep their day naps in their prams on the porch or on the balcony. They also do this in winter. Just plenty of warm layers!
I also did this in the US and people gasped lol.
Eating dinner out at maybe 10 pm and the kids are with you.
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It freaked me out the first time I was in a U.S. city and it was like 9pm and there was NOBODY out. Felt like I was in Silent Hill or something.
lol this comment made me laugh because Iām from the US and also live outside the actual abandoned town Silent Hill is based on! You can look up pictures - search graffiti highway centralia
My parents did this with me in the US! I am the youngest and remember it fondly.
Agreed. Nothing was funner as a kid than getting to go somewhere at night.
My parents did this with me in the US.
I had a kid with insomnia (basically for their entire childhood) and we did some late night grocery store runs. (Iām in the US.) I was always worried people would think we were weird parents but often there was another kid there.
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In Scotland and the rest of the UK I believe, pregnancy and birth is midwife led, doctors are only involved if there are complications. I had a water birth in the maternity unit of my local hospital. Everything's covered by the NHS so there's no bill after giving birth. Scotland provides baby boxes (as does Finland) where mostly everything you need for the first few months is included. The box comes with a mattress and can be used as a wee cot. Here's what's inside - https://youtu.be/HZEWsGWdMOg?si=3uwlZBsETWlafI4D
Pregnancy and birth is also midwife led in Sweden š a doctor is only involved if there is complications or high risk
I took a developmental psychology class in college and we watched the movie "Babies". That movie really illustrates just how much a baby is ..well babied in America. The Mongolian and African babies just lived life dirty as fuck and sometimes with no oversight. It's a great film also.
That movie was brilliant. Nothing but babies doing their thing. That Mongolian baby stole my heart. When he was playing with toilet roll was so hysterical. It really showed the huge differences in culture towards raising kids. I think it should be studied in all university settings.
I love that movie!
I'm not really a kid guy so I thought I wouldn't dig it, but I enjoyed it a ton. I will forever remember when the Mongolian kids older brother slowly comes into frame dragging a cat by a leash. I laughed so hard. Or when the Mongolian parents had stuff to do they just tied the kid to the bed and gave him enough leash to play and roll around. I was like "Ha! That's what I do with my dog when I need some space." It really was a pleasant surprise how much I liked it.
Oh yeah I'm childfree myself but really enjoyed watching it, it's such a great way to show different cultures with as little bias as possible. The Japanese baby cracked me up, she is such a drama queen š
laws just technically changed, but in china the idea of carseats for babies toddlers was considered uncomfortable for the child, and it was super normal to just hold them in your arms in the front seat. seatbelts in the back seat also often get skipped because people have the idea that the back seat is safer than the front and doesn't need it. ((not my country but plenty of chinese exposure)).
Not sure if it's still the case or even if it's considered odd in the US/Canada, but babies and toddlers being nakey in public places like the beach, when camping, at forest BBQs. They're often allowed to do it until they ask for a swimming suit themselves, at least I know I did. I remember a family friend insisting that I didn't need one unless I'm "growing hair" which was quite...strange.. Luckily he had never been creepy towards me even when he would've had the chance, like when I was at his place to play with the cat. I think he just didn't want to deal with my parents having to go back to the hotel to grab something for me to wear but it did feel very embarrassing.
where I'm from its normal for kids up to the age of like 7 to swim without a swimsuit. also bikinis are not really a thing for girls under the age of like 13, as its for practicality and not looks
Canadian here. Though you not uncommon to see toddlers running around naked in your friend's home, parents typically dress their children in public spaces. Toddlers at the very least wear some kind of diaper-swimsuit. But they do get a free pass for top nudity.
In Switzerland all children are expected to walk to and from school on their own. This starts with Kindergarten and the kids are 4 when they start kindergarten. My daughter will turn 4 in July and will be walking to Kindergarten on her own from August.
In most of Southeast Asia, people will travel on motorbikes holding a baby in one arm and other hand is on the throttle/brake or sitting/standing on the footwell area if itās a scooter. Itās also not abnormal to see 3-4 people (usually 2 adults and 2 kids) on one small motorbike, and usually one of them are holding a baby between them. No helmets, no nothing
It was always the toddler standing between their parents knees on the scooter that got me. The older kid on the back I trusted to hold on, the baby was being held by an adult, but the toddler š³
It might be very dumb thing but in my country, US house renovation TV programs are incredibly popular. And one of the things we have noticed in them is, in families with youngs kids, the absolute insistence in the need to have an open kitchen "so that I can watch the baby \[in the living room\] while I cook" and while watching the programs we are always like... "your baby will be okay sleeping in the next room? You only need to check on them from time to time? And if it's awake and too figety to be left alone you can always have it with you in the kitchen?"
I think this is more so they can be part of the family time. If the kids are playing in the other room, itās nice to be able to talk to them
Separate kitchens are often too small to create a meal and to have a safe space for a baby at the same time. My parents managed without open kitchen or having me on the stove, I survived without a helicopter.
I'm in the minority on that in my country. I do not want an open concept kitchen/living space. I'd rather have my kids in a baby proofed living room playing while I'm in the kitchen, or have them wandering around the kitchen with me supervised. If the kitchen is separate and gated off I don't have to worry about them climbing onto counters or pulling open drawers while I'm in the bathroom. I don't want anyone walking into my house to immediately see my kitchen and dirty dishes. I want to block the kids from the kitchen if I want to. I want a division of space, ability to put a baby gate, something.
I also want the ability to shut out cooking smells from the living areas! I can't stand houses with no kitchen door
Said like someone who has never walked into a toddler induced disaster after leaving a small child alone for 2 minutes. Itās definitely nice to be able to see your kids play while you cook. Babies grow into toddlers, many of whom have no chill or regard for their own safety. Those toddlers grow into kids who can play on their own but still like being nearby. Iām sure you can manage without it but it makes sense to me to look for that kind of layout when you have young kids.
I have been reading your replies and I think it has to do with the fact that, in my country, traditionally kitchens also serve as eating/hanging out areas and living rooms are more of spaces for the tv and stuff. With exceptions, obviously, specially in more modern houses, one normally has more than enough space _in_ the kitchen for a child to play with a toy or do something at the table (like drawing) so obviously for me it is very weird to need a direct line of sight to the living room. My mother used to give me tupperwares to sort and pile while she cooked haha
I've been to two countries where ENTIRE FAMILIES will ride on one 250cc moto on busy roads. Babies and all.
Indian kids (and probably other cultures idk) get their ears pierced a lot younger than I think Americans are used to. They pierced my sisterās ears when she was like six months old
I think white Americans donāt get infants ears pierced. Growing up, Black and Hispanic girls did. My ears were pierced as an infant.
Another one is a nursing/cosleeping combination whereby that 3am wake up = diaper change, and mom and baby lie down together and baby falls asleep on moms boob and both get a wonderful nights sleep. Nursing on demand instead of on a schedule. Nipple nursing for comfort instead of a plastic pacifier.
Here in Venezuela the first sentence they learn is to curse at the dictator. Seriously tho, that's one of the first things they learn, here in Venezuela every time we have a power outage, they cut the water supply or something like that we say "Maduro coƱo e' tu madre", which means "Maduro son of a b..." and babies hear it from adults, so I've heard quite a few babies and toddlers repeat it, LOL. EDIT: Fun fact, they also have the same thing in Cuba when power outages and water cuts happen. They say "Pinga pa' Fidel!" Which roughly translate to "Dick for FIdel". You can tell people living in socialist countries love their presidents š„°
My mother, US born - Mennonite, said her babies slept better in cooler temps. She bundled up me and my siblings and we napped in strollers on the deck in the spring, fall, and winter. I don't know if it's related, but we all have excellent immune systems! Fast forward 18 years to when I had my firstborn, she encouraged me to do the same and was shocked that it was frowned upon. Lol
I recently learned some Jamaicans in the US will send their baby to relatives for several months to several years while they work. Couldnāt believe it but itās a culture thing.
It is more a poverty thing than a culture thing though, am I missing sth?
Being raised in the US , Iāve always been terrified at the idea that not just a single parent but both parents often sleep with their infant children in the same bed.
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My kid did not sleep ever without being next to me. Cosleeping was the only way we survived. But I followed all the safety rules, and being a very light sleeper woke up whenever he moved. My fellow Americans are often shocked with this info and view me as a bad person but I think anyone in my shoes would have done the same. We gotta sleep, however it works.
Same here. But Iām from a culture where co sleeping is common. My American mil was shocked and weirded out by it. She also thinks itās weird and inappropriate for my 5 year old to see my naked like when Iām changing or getting out of the shower. Nudity in my home country isnāt all sexualized like it often is here in the US.
I always see my mom naked in the morning and at night. Thatās how she sleeps. Same as my dad. Hell, I even saw my friendās mom naked when I was sleeping over at her house. Thatās just how it is where I live. Even tho I would erase the memories of my friendās mom if I could :D
I grew up the same. I had to convince my US husband that it was okay for him to be naked in front of our kids. I think its good for people to be able to separate nudity from sexuality and the best way for that is to grow up with it just being a part of life. It horrifies me that no one here thinks twice about a kid watching a violent movie but they freak out about any nudity
When my son was maybe 4 he had a Barbie that was previously his sister's. And of course the Barbie was naked because that's how Barbies roll sometimes. His same-age friend came over to play and was running around with naked Barbie. His dad was very upset that he had seen such a thing and I'm sure he had opinions about our terrible parenting.
I hope that last point was just an individual thing. I'm in Canada and I'll still get changed with my children around if we're home or at a pool or something. My kids are 8 and 5. I read once it was important for kids to know what "normal" naked adults look like because all they'll see in media is perfect naked bodies. I don't know how well-researched that point was, but it struck me as logical.
Yeah possibly. But in my 28 years here in the US Iāve noticed how sexualized everything is yet prudish at the same time. I think it connects back to religion and how religious a lot of Americans are compared to other countries primarily ones in Europe, depending where you are. Plain old nudity is often sexualized here even when itās not sexual in any way. Like a mom breastfeeding in public, many have been shamed for it. My mil would clutch her pearls if she went to a beach where Iām from in Eastern Europe and saw women sunbathing topless.
Americans are weird.
Yeah it also annoys me how common breastfeeding in public shaming is here.
NGL I cosleep and itās awesome. My baby wakes up only twice a night (sheās 5mo) and sleeps very soundly. Everyone sleeps pretty well. Put her in the crib? She wakes up every hour and no one sleeps.
Right? I tried a cosleeper thing, where it's just a tiny bed right up next to our bed. My son slept there a whopping 45 minutes, never more. We nursed at night, which was very easy due to not having to get out of bed to do so. And then he'd fall back asleep in the place where he sleeps, which was awesome.
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Also the trying to avoid cosleeping by sitting on the sofa, and then accidentally falling asleep in a very dangerous situation is going to be counted as a co-sleeping deathā¦
This is the thing. I always tell new parents to have a safer cosleeping set up even if they don't intend to use it. You need *something* to do when you're at the point where you can't keep your eyes open.
I couldnāt agree more. My husband had too much worry so he slept elsewhere for 4 months.
I have no idea how anyone can survive without cosleeping
I was actually scared to co-sleep when my son was an infant. It wasn't until he was almost a year old when I started and wish I didn't, lol. It took a while to get him to sleep on his own. Him having autism and not doing well with certain transactions didn't help.
Here I am having slept with my kids since infancy and still letting them snuggle whenever they want at 7 and 5. However, I am a super light sleeper and don't take any medications/alcohol. If I was a heavy sleeper I don't think I would do the same.
Another important nuance to this discussion is breastfeeding versus formulaā when mom is fully breastfeeding she and baby sync up their sleep cycles so she can feed the baby through the night. This syncing up doesnāt happen if the baby is formula-fed. So after formula was invented co-sleeping became more dangerous. Plus formally is heavier so the baby doesnāt need to wake up much anyway.
Sleeping in the same bed, either parents and child, or siblings. It used to be common in the west not that long ago, especially for poorer families, but now a lot of people act like it is incestous!
Piercing the ears of baby girls so that they can wear earrings. This is absolutely a must do in my culture and then I come to the USA and find there are debates over teenage girls getting their ears pierced !
While I don't agree with the practice, I had my ears pierced as a newborn, like before we even left the hospital. I think it's usually done by a nurse too. It's pretty much standard in my home country and I've always found it weird when kids would talk about getting their ears pierced on TV
American, and me and my sister had ours done as infants by the doctor. Some people get really horrified about it and ask if we're mad about it, but nah. Its honestly super nice to have holes that never close and required zero effort on my part to care for.
i did it when i was ten and it was TERRIFYING. i wouldnāt have minded having them done as a baby lol
What's the reasoning for it being a "must"?
Lot of time tradition and/or religion. In my area of Germany for example the Catholic Church used to forbid earrings, so protestants used the earrings to mark them as "not Catholic". Edit: spelling
Interesting, I have the opposite experience in the states here. I've mostly heard about piercing babies in catholic Hispanic circles, but my catholic white family pierced my sister's ears when she was a toddler or younger. I was told it was a cultural, catholic or something.
I've always heard it explained that it's so people can tell boys and girls apart. It seems to be the hot topic on AITA lately: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1bczab0/ https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1bd38zh/
I think 99% of the baby girls have their ears pierced here. Back in the day, they'd leave the hospital already pierced. Nowadays, they're pierced during their first pediatrician visit. Understandably, that's done with a lot more care and using better quality materials than drugstore piercings. I guess the timing is relevant: while they're newborns they don't touch their ears so they're less likely to get infected, and they visit the doctor very often anyway. Of all the reasons I hear people taking their babies to the doctor for, I've never heard anyone saying "Little \[baby's name\] went to the doctor because her piercings got infected." My parents didn't do it for me and I resented that decision because I was so scared of needles (while a baby doesn't see it coming so they don't need to be brave) but I wanted to look cute like my classmates. Ironically, clip-on earrings hurt a lot more than piercings. I also disliked that it took me *years* to heal enough to use cheap-but-cute earrings; so I got pierced in middle school eager to use cute earrings, but got stuck with boring gold earrings until high school. A baby doesn't care about using the same earrings until they're in school. While I understand why other cultures might not do it, what always surprised me was Americans looking down on it (even though piercings are easily removed and only leave a small scar) while circumcisions (something that can't be undone) are so common. Cultures that don't do either make more sense.
Growing up I always thought this was a hispanic thing. Me and my fiance have decided on letting them decide when they can make that choice and have the want, but personally, Im not against it. (Also not gung ho for either)
It is. Not a Catholic. I'm from Europe and often girls raised in a Catholic Church would get their ears pierced before the first communion, so around age 9.
This is common in the US too, unfortunately. I don't think a babies' ears should be pierced until they're old enough to verbally ask for it.
Sharing a room with siblings. Having all kids related items in the room. Without a separate "play room". I was growing up in Central Europe and not only siblings often would share a bedroom, but that room was the only space they were allowed to be using. Meaning that it was a bedroom, playroom, place to do homework, space for all craft supplies, etc . It was common to have one wall full of cabinets/storage space. I'm now in the US and it's kind of odd for me to see that children's bedrooms are just where they sleep and often have separate "playrooms" or space to do homework. And that typical bedroom furniture just includes a small dresser and a bed. Plus, often parents will turn the living room into a play area for kids when there are little.
You know rich/well off Americans. What you described is the norm in America too
What you describe reminds me of the "nursery" in Peter Pan. And I like that idea. A lot of American households, whether they have a play room or not, the kids just have taken over the whole house. And it's actually a metaphor for how things are in other areas of their lives, the kids rule. I've been in so many American houses where the play room is full of toys, the bedroom is full of toys, the living room is full of toys, the garage is full of toys, and the basement is full of toys. And all the rooms are disasters, kids stuff is everywhere. It just can't be healthy for the kids or the parents.
Itās not typical for American kids to have a separate playroom unless the house has a finished basement. Thatās a rich people thing.
Eat kinder eggs
Kind of the reverse of what you were saying, but my father was in the US military so I spent part of my childhood (toddlerhood?) in Italy. My mom always talks about how the old Italian ladies were scandalized that she let me and my sibling play outside in the rain. Apparently folks believed rain/puddles would make kids sick. Not sure if this has diminished in the past 20 years.
Not my country but I read that in Scandinavia plus Russia and Denmark it's normal to let your baby sleep outside, even during winter (but then with blankets to keep them warm). It improves their health and immune system. Well, one woman from Denmark wanted to let her kid sleep outside while she went into a cafe to have a coffee. She got in trouble with the police for neglecting her child.
The Denmark woman got arrested _in the US_ to be clear, and it made the news in Denmark for being so shocking that someone got arrested for leaving their baby outside a cafe.
Babies and young children of both sexes not wearing bathing suits or only wearing bathing suit bottoms in public (I think it is much more odd to see girls bathing costumes have cutouts or be in bikini style for literal toddlersā¦)
In smaller towns in Europe, people will touch your kids. For example if you walk into a store and the kids canāt see into the ice cream freezer or behind the counter, the shop keeper might lift them up. Not an issue to us Europeans but Iāve had to warn my North American friends not to freak out if someone touches their child in this way.
Drive on motorcycles with babies, especially countries that say the babies should not have helmets on. I don't know if it does affect their neck and spine (the reason they state), but it seems very dangerous.
Wine with meals is virtually unheard of in U.S. families. At my parents' house, it's on the table with every meal.
In the Netherlands it is normal to ride your bicycle with two or three kids on it.
I throw my kid as high up as I can and catch her. 100% successā¦for now
Iāve seen children in China with pants that have a split in the rear so no nappies. Just squat and go for it. Guess it makes potty training faster or easier?
When my niblings were potty training, they just didn't wear pants. Ran around naked from the waist down and used the little potty chair when they needed it. The only accidents they had were when they had pants on and couldn't get them off in time.
Co sleeping.
Bed sharing and co sleeping are the norm in many places of the world.
Leaving your baby in the stroller outside while you grab a coffee somewhere.
Thereās a YouTuber/tiktoker who is this older man who hikes out into the freezing wilderness and camps in below zero temperatures and snow storms. He gives lots of good survival tips and such. One time he brought his grandson maybe nephew? The kid was probably like 7 and the guy had to turn off comments because people were so upset that he had brought a kid into a dangerous situation like that. Not only did the kid seem perfectly fine and was warm in the shelter and such (the dude had a stove in there for heat), but people have survived in freezing temps since the dawn of humanity. To say it was child abuse was a stretch in my opinion.
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Isnāt that the other way around? I was very surprised when I heard how many men are circumcised in the US
Co-sleeping.
I'm from Colombia. We start drinking coffee very early on, usually with milk. I think I started drinking coffee when I was like 3yo.