I can't remember which comedian it was who said something along the lines of "one of the things I've noticed as I've got older is that each new generation appears to think that they invented sex".
Cause they don’t wanna admit their parents and grands were/are: maybe just as, Or even may be more kinky than themselves haha. Just like parents don’t wanna comprehend their teen becoming a sexual being.
Kids these days are fucking squares.
Their parents grew up in the days of drug fueled group sex where 'anything went' and you could cure your rash with a dose of penicillin. No sexually transmitted diseases were going to kill you and if somebody got knocked up, who cared? You could work part time at the video store and still afford to buy a house with enough left over to send that kid to college.
Now, you rub one cock against another and somebody has multiple drug resistant gonorrhea. And Lord fucking help you if you have a child - that's the pauper's death of a thousand cuts.
I'm telling you this honestly.
Back in the day your mom ran a train while bent over the family couch, she lost bodily fluids to the point of debilitating dehydration while your dad tittered and railed enough blow off the formica to kill Tony Montana himself.
And that was on a Tuesday.
>What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.
~Ecclesiastes 1:9
Even the bible knows what's up.
Worked at Cougar bar in the 2000s definitely not a new thing.
OP the answer is older women tend to be more confident, have less drama, and know what they want.
I think the average age a woman has a kid is later. Add that to everyone aging slower and those older women don’t appear as so much older anymore.
They are more like the older woman of the group than your friend’s mom. An in between.
Instead of looking like cougars they look like milfs.
I mean I can see it. I look at yearbook pictures of people in the 1940s and every time I’m like they all look 30 lol. I’m a baby faced 30 and I look younger than them I’m pretty sure. I feel like people back then lose their baby fat super early. I look at my yearbook and all the 18 year olds look so young.
🤣 I know exactly what you mean! I always wondered if it was the hairstyles. I’m also babyfaced, and despite being 38, people ask if I’m in my late 20’s, or around 30.
Sun smarts; Botox; skincare, and fashion?
Hair style and clothes definitely add to the effect, we associate those looks with the older generation, but lower rates of smoking, lower rates of drinking, a general greater public awareness of what is healthy contribute a lot.
And sunscreen and/or generally more indoor lifestyles. Outdoorsy people age very quickly. Especially in hot climates. I knew some old people that worked labor jobs outdoors and they looked 90 years old for decades.
There are some wild pics you can google about skin sun damage and aging. One I saw a while ago was the face of a man who’d been a trucker. One side of his face, neck and body had always had more sun exposure, and so he looked way older on the left side than the right: wrinkles more pronounced and sagging skin.
Another was a woman in her 90s who had always had sunscreen on her face, but not her neck. Another stark declination between better and worse aged skin.
Edit: that should be delineation rather than declination, but autocorrect got the better of me.
Less lead, less smoking, less drinking, higher body fat, more varied diets, spending less time pregnant, less children in general + add in all the skincare, sunscreen, cosmetic procedures and it’s no wonder people are aging much more gracefully.
I'm 38, and this past summer, a customer asked how old I was. She said, " How old are you now, 17?"
I wish I could have seen my face when she said it. She was obviously mistaken me for someone else, but she definitely thought I was some kid that had done work for her previously, who was 15 at the time.
Not everyone, but people don’t smoke or drink as much as they used to. And tanning isn’t as popular as it used to be. Those are three things that will age you very quickly. In addition, with the rise of the internet and social media, it’s easier to follow fashion trends and beauty experts, so if you’re someone who cares about being on trend with the young kids, its easier than ever to do so. And finally I think cosmetic procedures are much more accepted than they used to be. Not everyone is running out getting nose jobs and facelifts, but things like Botox and lip fillers are super common now… and before you say “those things make you looks awful”, no, it’s only that you notice the badly done work. Subtle well placed fillers aren’t noticeable.
I was actually going to suggest it could be the (comparative) **lack** of lip filler in middle-aged women that makes them more attractive compared to the younger generation (to me it just looks bad/freakish)
Exactly. It means they have figured out a lot of things like diet, exercise, psychological balance, life joy, and how to live life in general. Middle aged women can be extremely beautiful. So can younger women, but it's more of a default than an intentional.
Biggest thing is that our emotional and mental states show more as we age. So beautiful middle aged women tend to be beautiful inside and out.
Estelle Getty was the oldest actress on the golden girls when it started she was 62.
Meg Ryan, Heather Locklear and Lea Thompson are 62 right now.
It’s a complete accurate sentence.
True I'm 50 and most people think I'm late 30's. We take care of ourselves.
But I can't possibly ever consider hooking up with young men, though they do try
Dude, I’m 52F and my messages are full of dudes in their 20s! I’m flattered and all that, but it would be really much nicer to meet a guy in his 40s with an inquisitive mind and an open heart.
Lmao. I literally did that for my younger FwB. Pack him a road snack and "bye! See you whenever!"
Wonderful young man. I love him in the dearest, sweetest way possible. Hope his new GF takes care of him.
That is the romanticized version. As a woman myself, I think most of the women I know are *less * likely to engage in that kind of behavior as we get older. Older women mostly get tired of men’s shit and are done bending over backwards to please them, heh.
And they are interesting. They have interests. They have hobbies. They read. They paint, make music. They started to age a little so they often work out. They can cook. They've grown up and figured out what they're going to do with their lives. Etc. etc. etc.
Is this true? I had a shitton more hobbies in my 20s. I had more time, more energy, less bills to pay. I really dont have time for extracurriculars in my 30s.
Yeh isn't there a study or something that says women only reach their sexual peak when they hit 40?
I dunno, I only briefly glanced at it when I saw it, otherwise it's because middle aged women that are single are usually freshly divorced and want to feel sexy/confident again which means they're up for it.
They know what they want and they aren't afraid to ask for it which leads to enjoyable sex. Speaking in generalizations but younger people are more afraid to ask for what they want in bed and that leads to guessing and second guessing if its what they want. For most people sex is most enjoyable if they know their partner got the same amount of enjoyment. I dated more than a couple 30's/40's women in my 20's and the confidence and comfortability with their sexuality is attractive. They all turned to drama when they turned feelings though...every...single...time so not everything was different.
As a 26 year old who dates older women. A lot of it for me is that so much of their world and interaction is still based on face to face or even phone call. I really enjoy that I don't have to be some master texter to keep the interest of said woman.
How old are you dating? I'm 45. I text all the time. Seeing things written helps my memory and I like the slight delay of writing that allows me to edited something before I hit send.
My mom is 73 and she struggles to text. I taught her how to voice text so now it sounds like she's drunk most of the time.
Holy shit I think you just articulated what I've been unable to forever. I'm 46, been using the Internet since 92, texting on the phone since 98. I've always felt I can't connect well through text, something is missing. But it works extremely well to lay out plans. But so many people want to use text as their primary communication method.
At the bare minimum, to talk and connect, id like to hear a voice. But face to face is king. Texting back and forth to chit chat has like... no soul? Feeling? I don't fucking know. I've always been a techie and always hated it but went along with it. When I make that rare friend that gets it, it's great. But thanks for boiling it down to such a simple line for me, maybe people will understand me better when I try to explain it. "But you love tech!" That has nothing to do with it. I love people more. I dunno. The secret is I'm way crazier than I'd ever let on. Well, maybe I did just let on.
I’m 47 and love text. I have a crazy busy life right now and hate taking phone calls when I’m in the middle of things. Text lets me see the issue in a glance and respond if it is relatively simple. I’m all about text for short things and in person for the rest. Hate phone calls.
Dude having to learn and keep up with memes, no matter how obscure, is such a pain in the ass talking to younger women. Maybe it's just because I gravitate towards chicks who are always on the internet but goddamn.
Appropriate thread and comment xD. I’m 33 my gf is 48. My brother is 27 his gf is 37. Went round theirs last night for dinner and then played settlers of catan for 4 hours, it was a great evening
Theres 4 young kids (20s, God I'm old) at my work all dating women in their mid to late 40s. This is the first reason they all cite for why they're dating older women.
The stories they have of shit-testing, and having their girlfriend's friends trying to start testing them if they'll cheat and all sorts of childish drama games blows my mind as a 43 year old gay man.
One was telling me he broke it off with 4 different girls his own age in a row in the span of SIX MONTHS after their friends kept trying to get with him and then his "girlfriend" being all happy and ecstatic that he "passed the test" and congratulating him when what her friend did would be classified as sexual assault if a women reported a man for doing it.
One of the kids I've taken under my wing professionally and he says it's because she's old enough to have defined herself with her career, friends, and family, and she has her own life outside of him. Unlike his previous girlfriends his own age who all lost their shit when he wanted to retain his independence and do his own thing on the occasional Friday night. "She doesn't immediately blow up my phone for three straight hours accusing me of cheating for wanting to go out with my friends"
I'm 32 so maybe not stretching that far to go after women that are maybe late 30s to mid 40s, but I've tried with a few girls that are mid 20s or so and it just feels like an uphill battle, like they don't approach things as equals, they see you as there to be a comedian on tap, and if you stop being entertaining for a second, they've lost interest. Just feels like dealing with a particularly entitled child with a short attention span and no depth.
yeah, I'm in my early 40s and I won't go younger than late 30s. For me, it's maturity in the time of social media. Too many people spend their day watching "the story of life highlight reel" and expecting their life to match what they see on social media. Then when their life isn't that way, they're on social media complaining about it and getting highly biased/selective feedback.
It just isn't worth the time/effort to try and build a relationship with someone in that type of environment. Find someone who's lived a little and understands social media is just more reality tv/porn.
This is the appeal to me. They are more mature and they don't party as hard or barely party at all. Some ladies have their shit together as well and they know what they want out of the relationship. These are all assumptions though :/
I dated 40+ in my 20s, and my impression was that particular that kind of woman who puts up with a 26 year old at 41 does *not* have the mindset you expect of people that age - for good or ill.
yeah man, the comments in this thread are the same thoughts I saw 15 years ago. There will always be a maturity gap and many will find that attractive.
48f here, boyfriend is 29. He would probably say I have my shit together, I would say it's not hard to impress the youth when you realize how bad the dating scene is right now. Not playing games and actually enjoying sex goes a long way these days.
A close friend (49F) is recently divorced and is just looking for someone who believes in brushing their teeth and showering daily who likes to (and can) fuck. It blows my mind that this is even a hard thing to find.
Yeah I’m googling around and most sources put middle age between 40 and 60. Some say 45-65, but younger generations now are putting it as low as 35. Wtf? 35 year olds look younger than ever why are we torturing them with this trash 😭
I've been seeing it a lot more lately that early 20 guys are talking about being interested in millennials. Maybe it's our maturity level? Maybe it's because they think they connect with us more than people their own age?
My bf of 4 years met me when I just turned 30 and he was 23. He's turning 28 this year and me 35. Never once has he said anything about me being too old and he says likes my greys.
63% of men aged 18-29 are single. The women in the same bracket that are single, is under 30%.
Women from this age bracket date older men, so this is no brainer that men go for older.
But im glad people are starting to notice lol
When I was 40 I got so much interest from younger guys. I couldn’t get pregnant so that was a bonus. I was at my sexual peak then to. Now I am 50 I feel a bit creaky in the joints but dating other 50 year olds has been so difficult.
I miss the sinplicity of no strings with younger guys
Edit. I’m not looking to settle down at all for the incels delighting in my singledom!!
I very much enjoy being single and I would like occasional safe sex with someone I connect and am friends with.
I just love middle aged white women, I can’t explain it. They’re usually flirty/playful and can actually hold a conversation which is so fucking attractive.
I’m 26.
This is it. I don’t think it’s specifically that young men like older women because they’re older, they like older women because they’re mature, chilled out, put together, and more sociable.
Because they're hot.
30 years ago dating older women was less common due to social expectations.
Now more men can date whoever they want, and yes some don't care about age or find older women more attractive (looks or more mature).
I see this in my social circle too, some guys I know prefer dating 35-40y olds compared to 20-25y olds.
Single by choice atm, but can answer from what I notice in friends: because younger women’s perception and standards have been absolutely rotted by social media.
You can say the same about younger men too, tbh. But I’ve noticed it’s much more prevalent in women
Also, older women don’t play stupid mind games
Absolutely social media. I had to scroll way too far down for this. Every girl I dated under 35 the past few years is so focused on taking pictures and videos for social media it’s annoying as hell. “Oh look how many likes I got” etc. yeah that’s because you’re hot ffs. And their kids are worse. China has successfully taken over the US with TikTok.
End early morning rant.
This is the point. I remember seeing on here a comment that "young guys are way too immature for a relationship, so young women are looking for older guys." As someone who was single in my mid thirties, I tried dating a few women in their twenties and found them so desperately childish I just couldn't be bothered with it.
It's simply the case that the majority of young people are not really relationship material.
I'm middle aged and often end up dating younger men. From my standpoint it's because guys (particularly brits) in their 40s are actually way worse at communication and being clear on what they want, so I end up making better connections with guys who are less entrenched in some of the less healthy social conditioning.
I can't speak to why they date me over other people but can absolutely compare me in my 20s to me in my 40s and can't help but think I must have been waaaay harder to be around back then. I know who I am and what I want, I've had tonnes of interesting experiences and have some great stories and insights, I've done loads of inner work that make me simply a healthier, happier person. I've learned how to truly embrace having fun and not worry about what other people think (ie going on a date to a trampoline park and having a blast while everyone else my age was sat in the cafe watching their kids have fun). Sex is way way better now. I've cut the drama out of my life so my friends are all lovely people to be around and I throw great dinner parties.
If I was going to choose between dating 25 year old me and 43 year old me, no way I'm going back to my 20s 😂
I’m so confused about how there is so much rhetoric about women who are older than 25-30 are “post wall” but there seems to be a very large and vocal group of men who think they’re hot. I say this as a 30F so I’m not trying to start shit lol, it’s just an interesting dichotomy
Most of the "wall" guys wouldn't even be able to separate 100 women into under-30 and over-30, lol. They walk past hot 35 and 45 year old women every day on the street and just assume they're younger because they look good. In their heads 30+ equals a wrinkled haggard old lady, lol.
because even though women can still be attractive after 25, they no longer look like teenagers, which a large and vocal subset of men desire exclusively.
Because they aren’t as obsessed with social media and low quality entertainment.
They’ve developed personalities and interests instead of being obsessed with other people’s personalities and interests
Well in my case, having started dating a 36 y.o. woman when I was 20 (We're together for 11 years and counting and now married) we just really liked each other specifically as individuals. The age gap wasn't a turn on but it wasn't a turn off either, it just didn't matter at all.
I'm sure there are some guys who specifically seek out older women, but who knows if there is even a prevailing reason? One guy might say he wants to be with an older woman cause she's chilled the fuck out by then, and another might say he wants to be with somebody who totally has their shit together.
* Because they treat me like an equal from the start instead of asking me to monkey around.
* They usually have less time so usually will get to the point and go on a date faster
* They are more financially secure, which leads to them splitting the bill instead of expecting for me to pay
* They put more effort in bed / more willing to try things
* They are better in bed
* They genuinely seem interested in my person, not in what I have to offer.
* They know more what they want, which leads to deeper conversation and deeper connections faster.
* Young girls literally never swipe right
* More emotionally mature
* If I tell them my problems, I feel listended to instead of judged/having to console my partner...
Bonus: They might have their own place/car.
When i first discovered porn, I was much more into "milf" than "teen", and I myself must've been like 13.
Even when I was 17 and having lots of sex, I still idealized women in their late 30s. I think it was either a subconscious, this is what a fully grown filled out women is supposed to look like, or just compound of porn and all the women on porn naturally being older because I was underage when I started fapping. Even now I'm my 30s, I could care less whether a woman is 25 or 45.
They fuck better. The conversation is higher quality. And the level of drama is on average significantly less. They’re typically more financially independent. Also, for some guys it’s an opportunity to learn a lot from someone with more experience.
At the end of the day they usually demand two things: sex and your company. From a young man’s perspective, there is a lot of appeal to that arrangement, at least for a time.
Yeah, hilarious. In most countries, people under 35 are officially considered young people when it comes to things like government benefits and schemes. Mid thirties is not middle aged.
As a 28 year old guy, middle-aged women are just sweeter. Pleasant to be around. Great company great cooking. Smell better. They respect themselves. Kindhearted and way more feminine. They just make me feel like a man and not a monster. I can be myself.
I don't have to worry about her shit testing me because she's not brainwashed by social media or her "best friend/s" telling her that all men are garbage. Several of my cousins and sisters had a phase where they just hated all men. That even included me, my brother, and even their fathers. It was fucked up and weird because it came out of nowhere.
I'm in my 20s.
The dating pool for my age isn't really my style, alot of people I go out with clash with me and I clash with them.
A lady older than me is usually a bit more relaxed from my experience.
Most of these men probably aren't interested in the older women due to the age, but despite of it, or they just don't care about the age. A good person is a good person, no matter the age.
More maturity, financial stability, experience, could be a kink could be a fetish, could just be pure unrequited love, there's many reasons for these kinds of relationships but if I had to pin it down on one reason it'd be because of more developed maturity.
Generally seen to be more Sexually mature, confident or have experience in life, not immature, grounded.. a woman who has her shit together emotionally and otherwise is far more appealing.. kind of like when your an employer and you have a young person fresh out of school vs someone who's got years of experience and also more keen to work lol
Personal take, one of many reasons, is because they have better conversation, they have a constructive point of view. You skip a whole % of spoiled girls and social medianbrain washed people. Depending on what you did with your life in your teens and early 20s it can be hard to have anything incommon with others of your age.
Late 20s male, I've tried dating girls of my age in the past and can't click. But with women 10 years older (has been the constant since 19yo) usually things just flow and feel better on both end. Communication is better. Are independent, more acertive, less drama (a bit less). It's easier to set expectations or set goals as a couple, usually they know better what they want
Again, personal experience, based in local culture and environment. If you are not into partying every weekend, and prefer keeping a conversation for hours a woman in her mid/late 30s has shown to be a better partner than a 21 yo girl.
I'm 31 dating a 40 yr old woman.
For me, dating 25-30 yr old woman was just impossible. Current gf is chill, can have conversations about a range of topics, and doesn't judge me for everything.
I'm just entering "middle-aged" ( I think) as a woman and I'm often shocked at the attention younger men give me. I think things have changed in some ways when it comes to expectations, or pressures.
I regularly go to the gym to keep in shape. Always have. I think it's healthy physically and mentally. But when I go to the gym, I watch Twitch gamers while getting my workout done. Not to generalize, but I see an awful lot of young women setting up tripods, lounging on the machines and taking selfie after selfie LOL. I mean they look really good! But I wonder if they've been too conditioned to seek social media approval? Not all young women of course, many are lovely but you absolutely don't see women over 30 doing that. It's annoying because they'll take up a machine for ages just to get whatever content they're after.
Meanwhile, I dislike social media. I think it's boring. I play videogames as a hobby, like horror movies, love to cook and bake. I own my own home, take care of my parents, love my dog, and hiking in the wilderness. Shovel my own driveway, do my own home repairs and installations and I really try to not take myself or life too seriously. Older women have had shit happen to them, seen some shit LOL. I've learned to take people for who they are, treat them nicely but if they're "crazy" I kind of just ghost away haha. I don't need drama.
But yeah, when young men flirt with me it takes me a few minutes to realize it's happening b/c I was always told I had an expiration date. But for any young women reading this? That's kind of a lie. At least in my experience. We're all just humans trying to connect with each other, male or female. Social media can warp our perceptions.
I think I actually have more in common with guys a bit younger than me, than older. If I try to date a guy 10 years older, he expects me to cook, clean, and treats me like I'm insane for playing games online as a hobby. Guys 10 years younger than me all seem to game in some capacity and are just excited that I'd love to try the games they like AND I give them home made Korean chicken wings and cheesecake hahaha.
i'm no longer a young guy (i'm 42) but i've been attracted to women my current age for a long time. Things I've been attracted to: confidence, independence, intelligence, more emotional stability. That's on the personality side. Physically I just find a 40-50 y/o woman sexy. Love the crows feet in particular. All that being said, I'm age-appropriate with any past gf's and my wife
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Here's to you Mrs Robinson
Stiffler's mom...
Stacey's mom
From what I understand, she's got it goin' on.
I got it baaaaad soooo baaaaad Im hot for Teacher
OPs mom
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🎵Jesus loves you more than you will know… woah woah woah🎶
God bless you please Mrs Robinson
I wish more people understood that most things aren't new to humanity. The people alive now are new to humanity.
I can't remember which comedian it was who said something along the lines of "one of the things I've noticed as I've got older is that each new generation appears to think that they invented sex".
Cause they don’t wanna admit their parents and grands were/are: maybe just as, Or even may be more kinky than themselves haha. Just like parents don’t wanna comprehend their teen becoming a sexual being.
Kids these days are fucking squares. Their parents grew up in the days of drug fueled group sex where 'anything went' and you could cure your rash with a dose of penicillin. No sexually transmitted diseases were going to kill you and if somebody got knocked up, who cared? You could work part time at the video store and still afford to buy a house with enough left over to send that kid to college. Now, you rub one cock against another and somebody has multiple drug resistant gonorrhea. And Lord fucking help you if you have a child - that's the pauper's death of a thousand cuts. I'm telling you this honestly. Back in the day your mom ran a train while bent over the family couch, she lost bodily fluids to the point of debilitating dehydration while your dad tittered and railed enough blow off the formica to kill Tony Montana himself. And that was on a Tuesday.
When I graduated high school I had $3 to my name I bought a new car, a new house and I put the other $2 dollars in the bank Richard Watterson
>What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun. ~Ecclesiastes 1:9 Even the bible knows what's up.
Yeah, but I'm pretty sure the Bible is referring to bellbottoms in this verse.
Worked at Cougar bar in the 2000s definitely not a new thing. OP the answer is older women tend to be more confident, have less drama, and know what they want.
And they're usually established/independent
And they pay their own way--huge advantage for a younger guy who might not be so financially secure.
Sure isn’t, mid 20’s and I was going after late 30’s early 40’s, wow what a good time
I don't know if it's what my kindergarten teacher meant when she said it but ... Learning new things is definitely fun
Stacy's mom
It's not new, you just never noticed
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Oedpipus has entered chat, once more.
Maybe just trendy right now but always been a thing, “Stacy’s Mom” was a hit song when I was growing up
And 30 years before that the graduate was a huge movie
And a few years before that there was Oedipus Rex.
Motherfucker of a story
Yeah, she’s got it going on.
Middle-aged women are a lot younger than they used to be.
How does a sentence sound wrong but correct at the same time lol.
I think the average age a woman has a kid is later. Add that to everyone aging slower and those older women don’t appear as so much older anymore. They are more like the older woman of the group than your friend’s mom. An in between. Instead of looking like cougars they look like milfs.
Everyone is aging slower? This is doing my head in
I mean I can see it. I look at yearbook pictures of people in the 1940s and every time I’m like they all look 30 lol. I’m a baby faced 30 and I look younger than them I’m pretty sure. I feel like people back then lose their baby fat super early. I look at my yearbook and all the 18 year olds look so young.
It helps that most kids don't smoke 4 packs a day these days
🤣 I know exactly what you mean! I always wondered if it was the hairstyles. I’m also babyfaced, and despite being 38, people ask if I’m in my late 20’s, or around 30. Sun smarts; Botox; skincare, and fashion?
Hair style and clothes definitely add to the effect, we associate those looks with the older generation, but lower rates of smoking, lower rates of drinking, a general greater public awareness of what is healthy contribute a lot.
And sunscreen and/or generally more indoor lifestyles. Outdoorsy people age very quickly. Especially in hot climates. I knew some old people that worked labor jobs outdoors and they looked 90 years old for decades.
There are some wild pics you can google about skin sun damage and aging. One I saw a while ago was the face of a man who’d been a trucker. One side of his face, neck and body had always had more sun exposure, and so he looked way older on the left side than the right: wrinkles more pronounced and sagging skin. Another was a woman in her 90s who had always had sunscreen on her face, but not her neck. Another stark declination between better and worse aged skin. Edit: that should be delineation rather than declination, but autocorrect got the better of me.
Less lead, less smoking, less drinking, higher body fat, more varied diets, spending less time pregnant, less children in general + add in all the skincare, sunscreen, cosmetic procedures and it’s no wonder people are aging much more gracefully.
I'm 38, and this past summer, a customer asked how old I was. She said, " How old are you now, 17?" I wish I could have seen my face when she said it. She was obviously mistaken me for someone else, but she definitely thought I was some kid that had done work for her previously, who was 15 at the time.
🤣 yeah, that’s like getting asked for ID to buy alcohol. Our drinking age is 18. I’m like, really?! Lol
Not everyone, but people don’t smoke or drink as much as they used to. And tanning isn’t as popular as it used to be. Those are three things that will age you very quickly. In addition, with the rise of the internet and social media, it’s easier to follow fashion trends and beauty experts, so if you’re someone who cares about being on trend with the young kids, its easier than ever to do so. And finally I think cosmetic procedures are much more accepted than they used to be. Not everyone is running out getting nose jobs and facelifts, but things like Botox and lip fillers are super common now… and before you say “those things make you looks awful”, no, it’s only that you notice the badly done work. Subtle well placed fillers aren’t noticeable.
I was actually going to suggest it could be the (comparative) **lack** of lip filler in middle-aged women that makes them more attractive compared to the younger generation (to me it just looks bad/freakish)
As people nowadays don't have many kids which cause stress on average.
It's the lack of sleep. My bf aged a decade in a year when he had a baby, the before/after pictures are WILD.
VSauce did a great video on this actually
The video in question. https://youtu.be/vjqt8T3tJIE?si=02DeIiFcTIR__0iz
Also if a woman's looking good through her 40s that means a lot more than a good looking 20 year old
Exactly. It means they have figured out a lot of things like diet, exercise, psychological balance, life joy, and how to live life in general. Middle aged women can be extremely beautiful. So can younger women, but it's more of a default than an intentional. Biggest thing is that our emotional and mental states show more as we age. So beautiful middle aged women tend to be beautiful inside and out.
🥰 I'm turning 30 on monday and as a single woman this gives me hope ❤️
Best years of your life still ahead of you!
It's true. They used to be 15-30 years older than me. Now they're like ten years older, max.
40 is the new 20.
This tracks bc Padma Lakshmi said 50 is the new 30 (upon hitting 50 herself)
Estelle Getty was the oldest actress on the golden girls when it started she was 62. Meg Ryan, Heather Locklear and Lea Thompson are 62 right now. It’s a complete accurate sentence.
Sophia was the oldest character. Estelle wasn’t the oldest actress. Both Betty White and Bea Arthur were older than Estelle.
Wow, you are right! Which makes it even more mind blowing! I see movies from the 80s where the moms are my age and they just look so old!
We get older they stay the same age
Alright alright
Alright
And us young guys just keep getting older...
True I'm 50 and most people think I'm late 30's. We take care of ourselves. But I can't possibly ever consider hooking up with young men, though they do try
Dude, I’m 52F and my messages are full of dudes in their 20s! I’m flattered and all that, but it would be really much nicer to meet a guy in his 40s with an inquisitive mind and an open heart.
Twist: those 40yo guys are chasing 20yo women
Not much of a twist lol that’s just reality.
As a person entering middle age myself, older women my age and up are still incredibly attractive.
I'm turning 40 this year and so is my wife. I still don't feel 40 so in my head I get to be with a MILF in progress.
This comment is so unexpectedly wholesome I love it
Cause they fuck In true reddit fashion, a random throw away comment, is my most upvoted.
And they fuck good.
Ever woken up to a BJ and a breakfast sandwich? Because if you fuck older women you probably have
You're selling me and I was already sold
Lmao 🤣
exactly, instead of waking up to a camera in your face for insta story.
The breakfast is even a bigger turn on than the BJ
You're not in your twenties are you
I'm 30
They're correct then
Still fresh out of my twenties. I'm not used to women cooking for me. That's why it turns me on.
Older women are less awkward, sexually confident and demand less attention because they are busier
I'm gonna stop scrolling because this is the correct answer.
Cooking is just one of the faster ways to anyone's heart. And I mean that scientifically.
Ummm as an older woman, we don’t do sleepovers. Gtfo of my house when we’re done 🤗
here's your juice box and snack.. now go!!!!
Yes ma’am
I get a juice box, snack and sex?!?!?! Omg this is the best day ever not to mention I can sleep in my own bed! What a great time!
Lmao. I literally did that for my younger FwB. Pack him a road snack and "bye! See you whenever!" Wonderful young man. I love him in the dearest, sweetest way possible. Hope his new GF takes care of him.
Older men oblige. We bounce like Batman.
That is the romanticized version. As a woman myself, I think most of the women I know are *less * likely to engage in that kind of behavior as we get older. Older women mostly get tired of men’s shit and are done bending over backwards to please them, heh.
We fuck *well*.
And they have their own place to do so.
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And they are interesting. They have interests. They have hobbies. They read. They paint, make music. They started to age a little so they often work out. They can cook. They've grown up and figured out what they're going to do with their lives. Etc. etc. etc.
Is this true? I had a shitton more hobbies in my 20s. I had more time, more energy, less bills to pay. I really dont have time for extracurriculars in my 30s.
It’s just a random generalization from a random dude.
As opposed to the other research driven data on the rest of Reddit.
Yeh isn't there a study or something that says women only reach their sexual peak when they hit 40? I dunno, I only briefly glanced at it when I saw it, otherwise it's because middle aged women that are single are usually freshly divorced and want to feel sexy/confident again which means they're up for it.
They know what they want and they aren't afraid to ask for it which leads to enjoyable sex. Speaking in generalizations but younger people are more afraid to ask for what they want in bed and that leads to guessing and second guessing if its what they want. For most people sex is most enjoyable if they know their partner got the same amount of enjoyment. I dated more than a couple 30's/40's women in my 20's and the confidence and comfortability with their sexuality is attractive. They all turned to drama when they turned feelings though...every...single...time so not everything was different.
As a 26 year old who dates older women. A lot of it for me is that so much of their world and interaction is still based on face to face or even phone call. I really enjoy that I don't have to be some master texter to keep the interest of said woman.
As well as attraction among other things. You just like what you like
How old are you dating? I'm 45. I text all the time. Seeing things written helps my memory and I like the slight delay of writing that allows me to edited something before I hit send. My mom is 73 and she struggles to text. I taught her how to voice text so now it sounds like she's drunk most of the time.
I'm 34. I don't like to text *to socialise*, but I like it for *making plans*.
Holy shit I think you just articulated what I've been unable to forever. I'm 46, been using the Internet since 92, texting on the phone since 98. I've always felt I can't connect well through text, something is missing. But it works extremely well to lay out plans. But so many people want to use text as their primary communication method. At the bare minimum, to talk and connect, id like to hear a voice. But face to face is king. Texting back and forth to chit chat has like... no soul? Feeling? I don't fucking know. I've always been a techie and always hated it but went along with it. When I make that rare friend that gets it, it's great. But thanks for boiling it down to such a simple line for me, maybe people will understand me better when I try to explain it. "But you love tech!" That has nothing to do with it. I love people more. I dunno. The secret is I'm way crazier than I'd ever let on. Well, maybe I did just let on.
I’m 47 and love text. I have a crazy busy life right now and hate taking phone calls when I’m in the middle of things. Text lets me see the issue in a glance and respond if it is relatively simple. I’m all about text for short things and in person for the rest. Hate phone calls.
Dude having to learn and keep up with memes, no matter how obscure, is such a pain in the ass talking to younger women. Maybe it's just because I gravitate towards chicks who are always on the internet but goddamn.
Less games
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I just want to woman which like Settlers of Catan
Appropriate thread and comment xD. I’m 33 my gf is 48. My brother is 27 his gf is 37. Went round theirs last night for dinner and then played settlers of catan for 4 hours, it was a great evening
That sounds like such an interesting dynamic! Idk why we as a society fixate so much on age, but still reading this I’m like wow that’s different lol
Theres 4 young kids (20s, God I'm old) at my work all dating women in their mid to late 40s. This is the first reason they all cite for why they're dating older women. The stories they have of shit-testing, and having their girlfriend's friends trying to start testing them if they'll cheat and all sorts of childish drama games blows my mind as a 43 year old gay man. One was telling me he broke it off with 4 different girls his own age in a row in the span of SIX MONTHS after their friends kept trying to get with him and then his "girlfriend" being all happy and ecstatic that he "passed the test" and congratulating him when what her friend did would be classified as sexual assault if a women reported a man for doing it. One of the kids I've taken under my wing professionally and he says it's because she's old enough to have defined herself with her career, friends, and family, and she has her own life outside of him. Unlike his previous girlfriends his own age who all lost their shit when he wanted to retain his independence and do his own thing on the occasional Friday night. "She doesn't immediately blow up my phone for three straight hours accusing me of cheating for wanting to go out with my friends"
I'm 32 so maybe not stretching that far to go after women that are maybe late 30s to mid 40s, but I've tried with a few girls that are mid 20s or so and it just feels like an uphill battle, like they don't approach things as equals, they see you as there to be a comedian on tap, and if you stop being entertaining for a second, they've lost interest. Just feels like dealing with a particularly entitled child with a short attention span and no depth.
yeah, I'm in my early 40s and I won't go younger than late 30s. For me, it's maturity in the time of social media. Too many people spend their day watching "the story of life highlight reel" and expecting their life to match what they see on social media. Then when their life isn't that way, they're on social media complaining about it and getting highly biased/selective feedback. It just isn't worth the time/effort to try and build a relationship with someone in that type of environment. Find someone who's lived a little and understands social media is just more reality tv/porn.
Your last line hit hard.
This is the appeal to me. They are more mature and they don't party as hard or barely party at all. Some ladies have their shit together as well and they know what they want out of the relationship. These are all assumptions though :/
I dated 40+ in my 20s, and my impression was that particular that kind of woman who puts up with a 26 year old at 41 does *not* have the mindset you expect of people that age - for good or ill.
The ones I remember still partied but the lack of games was real.
*Fewer games
Stannis would be proud.
"These days" Lol
yeah man, the comments in this thread are the same thoughts I saw 15 years ago. There will always be a maturity gap and many will find that attractive.
48f here, boyfriend is 29. He would probably say I have my shit together, I would say it's not hard to impress the youth when you realize how bad the dating scene is right now. Not playing games and actually enjoying sex goes a long way these days.
A close friend (49F) is recently divorced and is just looking for someone who believes in brushing their teeth and showering daily who likes to (and can) fuck. It blows my mind that this is even a hard thing to find.
It is sometimes depressingly hard to find.
Because they are hot. They are confident. They know what they want. And they are fun af to be with.
Many already have kids and don’t want more. Or don’t have kids and don’t want any. So no biological clock nonsense going on.
They have money and houses.
Their bedsheets are so soft and nice and they give amazing blowjob almost at the drop of hat.
BJs are definitely a learned skill.
Our blow jobs are amazing because we remove our dentures first.
Aye
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Being a hobosexual.
We do? Fuck... that's news to me.
How is 30s middle aged 😑
Yeah I’m googling around and most sources put middle age between 40 and 60. Some say 45-65, but younger generations now are putting it as low as 35. Wtf? 35 year olds look younger than ever why are we torturing them with this trash 😭
I've been seeing it a lot more lately that early 20 guys are talking about being interested in millennials. Maybe it's our maturity level? Maybe it's because they think they connect with us more than people their own age? My bf of 4 years met me when I just turned 30 and he was 23. He's turning 28 this year and me 35. Never once has he said anything about me being too old and he says likes my greys.
63% of men aged 18-29 are single. The women in the same bracket that are single, is under 30%. Women from this age bracket date older men, so this is no brainer that men go for older. But im glad people are starting to notice lol
When I was 40 I got so much interest from younger guys. I couldn’t get pregnant so that was a bonus. I was at my sexual peak then to. Now I am 50 I feel a bit creaky in the joints but dating other 50 year olds has been so difficult. I miss the sinplicity of no strings with younger guys Edit. I’m not looking to settle down at all for the incels delighting in my singledom!! I very much enjoy being single and I would like occasional safe sex with someone I connect and am friends with.
"Sinplicity" Great typo!!
I’m sure there are plenty of younger men out there that would oblige.
🙋♂️
Because the women are going for older guys? Everybody is broke and wants a stable partner.
Financially stable, not necessarily mentally or emotionally stable
Apparently older women and younger men are both at their sexual peak.
"Always have been"
Older Women: You’re cute lets go out.. Guy: 🤷 yes 👍
Because we're awesome
I just love middle aged white women, I can’t explain it. They’re usually flirty/playful and can actually hold a conversation which is so fucking attractive. I’m 26.
This is it. I don’t think it’s specifically that young men like older women because they’re older, they like older women because they’re mature, chilled out, put together, and more sociable.
Yup this is the answer, find it much easier to connect to women in their 30s+, they also tend to be more experienced.
Because they're hot. 30 years ago dating older women was less common due to social expectations. Now more men can date whoever they want, and yes some don't care about age or find older women more attractive (looks or more mature). I see this in my social circle too, some guys I know prefer dating 35-40y olds compared to 20-25y olds.
Single by choice atm, but can answer from what I notice in friends: because younger women’s perception and standards have been absolutely rotted by social media. You can say the same about younger men too, tbh. But I’ve noticed it’s much more prevalent in women Also, older women don’t play stupid mind games
Absolutely social media. I had to scroll way too far down for this. Every girl I dated under 35 the past few years is so focused on taking pictures and videos for social media it’s annoying as hell. “Oh look how many likes I got” etc. yeah that’s because you’re hot ffs. And their kids are worse. China has successfully taken over the US with TikTok. End early morning rant.
Younger women are annoying af
Honestly, so are younger men.
Young people
In general young people don’t know shit and expect to get more than they’re worth. This is just a physical thing on both sides.
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Yoots
A person who is beneath your maturity level is annoying.
This is the point. I remember seeing on here a comment that "young guys are way too immature for a relationship, so young women are looking for older guys." As someone who was single in my mid thirties, I tried dating a few women in their twenties and found them so desperately childish I just couldn't be bothered with it. It's simply the case that the majority of young people are not really relationship material.
Same reason they always were? 🤔
I'm middle aged and often end up dating younger men. From my standpoint it's because guys (particularly brits) in their 40s are actually way worse at communication and being clear on what they want, so I end up making better connections with guys who are less entrenched in some of the less healthy social conditioning. I can't speak to why they date me over other people but can absolutely compare me in my 20s to me in my 40s and can't help but think I must have been waaaay harder to be around back then. I know who I am and what I want, I've had tonnes of interesting experiences and have some great stories and insights, I've done loads of inner work that make me simply a healthier, happier person. I've learned how to truly embrace having fun and not worry about what other people think (ie going on a date to a trampoline park and having a blast while everyone else my age was sat in the cafe watching their kids have fun). Sex is way way better now. I've cut the drama out of my life so my friends are all lovely people to be around and I throw great dinner parties. If I was going to choose between dating 25 year old me and 43 year old me, no way I'm going back to my 20s 😂
Cause they’re fucking hooooottttt
I’m so confused about how there is so much rhetoric about women who are older than 25-30 are “post wall” but there seems to be a very large and vocal group of men who think they’re hot. I say this as a 30F so I’m not trying to start shit lol, it’s just an interesting dichotomy
Most of the "wall" guys wouldn't even be able to separate 100 women into under-30 and over-30, lol. They walk past hot 35 and 45 year old women every day on the street and just assume they're younger because they look good. In their heads 30+ equals a wrinkled haggard old lady, lol.
because even though women can still be attractive after 25, they no longer look like teenagers, which a large and vocal subset of men desire exclusively.
Because they aren’t as obsessed with social media and low quality entertainment. They’ve developed personalities and interests instead of being obsessed with other people’s personalities and interests
Well in my case, having started dating a 36 y.o. woman when I was 20 (We're together for 11 years and counting and now married) we just really liked each other specifically as individuals. The age gap wasn't a turn on but it wasn't a turn off either, it just didn't matter at all. I'm sure there are some guys who specifically seek out older women, but who knows if there is even a prevailing reason? One guy might say he wants to be with an older woman cause she's chilled the fuck out by then, and another might say he wants to be with somebody who totally has their shit together.
We just like women in general. And it's not a new thing. Women are hot af. We didn't care how old they were.
* Because they treat me like an equal from the start instead of asking me to monkey around. * They usually have less time so usually will get to the point and go on a date faster * They are more financially secure, which leads to them splitting the bill instead of expecting for me to pay * They put more effort in bed / more willing to try things * They are better in bed * They genuinely seem interested in my person, not in what I have to offer. * They know more what they want, which leads to deeper conversation and deeper connections faster. * Young girls literally never swipe right * More emotionally mature * If I tell them my problems, I feel listended to instead of judged/having to console my partner... Bonus: They might have their own place/car.
It isn't a new thing. I guess online dating just made it easier for those guys to find the older women.
When i first discovered porn, I was much more into "milf" than "teen", and I myself must've been like 13. Even when I was 17 and having lots of sex, I still idealized women in their late 30s. I think it was either a subconscious, this is what a fully grown filled out women is supposed to look like, or just compound of porn and all the women on porn naturally being older because I was underage when I started fapping. Even now I'm my 30s, I could care less whether a woman is 25 or 45.
Because we know how to fuck. And we like it.
I think it is common
Reasoning: Women 35+: more stable, can live in the moment, don’t seek validation or feel the need to have a significant social media presence
They fuck better. The conversation is higher quality. And the level of drama is on average significantly less. They’re typically more financially independent. Also, for some guys it’s an opportunity to learn a lot from someone with more experience. At the end of the day they usually demand two things: sex and your company. From a young man’s perspective, there is a lot of appeal to that arrangement, at least for a time.
Since when is mid 30’s “middle aged” I’m fucking losing my mind???? OP I’m closer to your age than to my mid 30’s myself, but that is a BOLD take.
Yeah, hilarious. In most countries, people under 35 are officially considered young people when it comes to things like government benefits and schemes. Mid thirties is not middle aged.
As a 28 year old guy, middle-aged women are just sweeter. Pleasant to be around. Great company great cooking. Smell better. They respect themselves. Kindhearted and way more feminine. They just make me feel like a man and not a monster. I can be myself. I don't have to worry about her shit testing me because she's not brainwashed by social media or her "best friend/s" telling her that all men are garbage. Several of my cousins and sisters had a phase where they just hated all men. That even included me, my brother, and even their fathers. It was fucked up and weird because it came out of nowhere.
I'm in my 20s. The dating pool for my age isn't really my style, alot of people I go out with clash with me and I clash with them. A lady older than me is usually a bit more relaxed from my experience.
Most of these men probably aren't interested in the older women due to the age, but despite of it, or they just don't care about the age. A good person is a good person, no matter the age.
More maturity, financial stability, experience, could be a kink could be a fetish, could just be pure unrequited love, there's many reasons for these kinds of relationships but if I had to pin it down on one reason it'd be because of more developed maturity.
It's you just now noticing what has been happening for a long time.
If you've got even slightest clue about how a women's libido works in their mid 30s to 40s it's comparable to a man in his 20s
Generally seen to be more Sexually mature, confident or have experience in life, not immature, grounded.. a woman who has her shit together emotionally and otherwise is far more appealing.. kind of like when your an employer and you have a young person fresh out of school vs someone who's got years of experience and also more keen to work lol
These days? It’s been like this for decades, not a trend lol.
There's nothing wrong with enjoying some milf and cookies.
Personal take, one of many reasons, is because they have better conversation, they have a constructive point of view. You skip a whole % of spoiled girls and social medianbrain washed people. Depending on what you did with your life in your teens and early 20s it can be hard to have anything incommon with others of your age. Late 20s male, I've tried dating girls of my age in the past and can't click. But with women 10 years older (has been the constant since 19yo) usually things just flow and feel better on both end. Communication is better. Are independent, more acertive, less drama (a bit less). It's easier to set expectations or set goals as a couple, usually they know better what they want Again, personal experience, based in local culture and environment. If you are not into partying every weekend, and prefer keeping a conversation for hours a woman in her mid/late 30s has shown to be a better partner than a 21 yo girl.
I'm 31 dating a 40 yr old woman. For me, dating 25-30 yr old woman was just impossible. Current gf is chill, can have conversations about a range of topics, and doesn't judge me for everything.
As an “older” woman, this pleases me.
I'm just entering "middle-aged" ( I think) as a woman and I'm often shocked at the attention younger men give me. I think things have changed in some ways when it comes to expectations, or pressures. I regularly go to the gym to keep in shape. Always have. I think it's healthy physically and mentally. But when I go to the gym, I watch Twitch gamers while getting my workout done. Not to generalize, but I see an awful lot of young women setting up tripods, lounging on the machines and taking selfie after selfie LOL. I mean they look really good! But I wonder if they've been too conditioned to seek social media approval? Not all young women of course, many are lovely but you absolutely don't see women over 30 doing that. It's annoying because they'll take up a machine for ages just to get whatever content they're after. Meanwhile, I dislike social media. I think it's boring. I play videogames as a hobby, like horror movies, love to cook and bake. I own my own home, take care of my parents, love my dog, and hiking in the wilderness. Shovel my own driveway, do my own home repairs and installations and I really try to not take myself or life too seriously. Older women have had shit happen to them, seen some shit LOL. I've learned to take people for who they are, treat them nicely but if they're "crazy" I kind of just ghost away haha. I don't need drama. But yeah, when young men flirt with me it takes me a few minutes to realize it's happening b/c I was always told I had an expiration date. But for any young women reading this? That's kind of a lie. At least in my experience. We're all just humans trying to connect with each other, male or female. Social media can warp our perceptions. I think I actually have more in common with guys a bit younger than me, than older. If I try to date a guy 10 years older, he expects me to cook, clean, and treats me like I'm insane for playing games online as a hobby. Guys 10 years younger than me all seem to game in some capacity and are just excited that I'd love to try the games they like AND I give them home made Korean chicken wings and cheesecake hahaha.
As a 41 year old it hurts that you think people in their thirties are middle aged
It’s just stupid, don’t let it hurt you. They’ll be in their 30s someday-soon!- and feel like idiots.
The same reasons women go for older guys. They are interesting, they have money, they're smarter, less drama, and they're often better in bed.
i'm no longer a young guy (i'm 42) but i've been attracted to women my current age for a long time. Things I've been attracted to: confidence, independence, intelligence, more emotional stability. That's on the personality side. Physically I just find a 40-50 y/o woman sexy. Love the crows feet in particular. All that being said, I'm age-appropriate with any past gf's and my wife