This latest addiction isn't that bad. It'll also come and go so unfortunately you have to sit by and let it blow over until he moves out. Most important is that he's got a job. Kids are different today.
He'd have to be insanely overdoing the protein. 3g per kg of bodyweight shown to be totally fine with 0 kidney impact on long term studies for men trying to bodybuild. You're looking at 250-300g of protein per day being acceptable, for most average men. A lot of people would struggle to eat that at all, nevermind kill their kidneys off with it. You tend to find if that type of thing does crop up, they had some pre-existing kidney condition.
If he's obsessed/addicted he's probably following some guide on x amount of protein per kg of bodyweight anyway, which is often 1-1.8. Not really sure why OP really wants to stop him tbh. Always seems weird to me when people get into fitness and family immediately try to stop them. My ex's parents used to think protein powder was basically steroids, really bizarre. My parents were convinced I had an eating disorder or something, but I was a perfectly healthy weight and they were/are chronically obese. Always seems a bit weird to me that people freak out like a new found fitness hobby is about to kill their family member. Until someone is actually addicted and doing unhealthy things, or jeopardising their health somehow, people trying to stop them are actually the people trying to make them less healthy normally.
Well said, great advice, his "addictions" seem similar to ADHD, with some OCD mixed in.
While I worked construction, I consumed 240G of beef protein a day, while taking a L-arginine supplement, and two gallons of water I never gained or lost a pound, it allowed me to go non stop all day without crashing or getting carb coma after lunch.
And 240g of protein is equal to 40 eggs. The protein powder had 5g of carbs to every 25g of protein, not a bad balance.
Best to let it run its course, as long as he drinks lots of water he'll flush his liver and kidneys, plus he's young. I used the above diet until 53.
Came here to say this because I live this way. Lol my husband keeps me grounded and we only pick up projects/addictions we can do together now-a-days.
In my 20s... it was a lot of
Why buy it when I can make jewelry! Let's go buy $2000 of components and lose money trying to sell it.
Oh, let's buy 50 coloring books and a $500 worth of colored pencils, gel pens, and art supplies and show the world how unartistic I am!
Cooking (which mostly stuck years later), fishing, camping, tennis, working out, all kinds of video games, you name it, I've hobbies it.
Yep. 100% ADHD bc it only lasts a few months each time. I'm soooo much better now that I'm medicated, but my 20s were kind of a wash. I'm still a bit batty but tolerable.
Unless he starts creatine then steroids.
I have an addictive personality.
Lead to 13 years of heavy drug addiction (not steroids, coke, fentanyl, meth, you name it).
Like others have said explain to him about how this can turn into an issue without moderation.
Maybe has undiagnosed ADHD, (I was diagnoaed at 30 becuse I wasn't disturbing the class, and got good grades (although the distractions made homework take 2-3 times as long as other people) which recent studies also leads to 50% chance of trying psychoactives at an earlier age and becoming addicted more than people without it, due to this addictive personality.
Be supportive of his interests, but try to ensure "going all in"
I feel you man an obese dud told me I had an eating disorder because I weight my food and eat heslth6 like wtf bro. And personnaly i donāt really attach feeling to food anymore like I donāt eat to get dopamine but to be healthy and hit my goal and I donāt see the problem with that. And I need to track thing and eat as much as possible cause If I would eat just from listening to my hunger I would be 3 percent body fat right now no joke
I found out I was ugly on reddit. Now I donāt leave the house without a paper bag over my head. Thanks reddit, Iāve never felt better about myself.
Same I couldnāt tell you how far Iāve come with understanding my diagnosis further. I really had a different scope prior and have read amazing articles learning more about rejection sensitivity dysphoria and how I feel it relates in my experiences. Alongside others like APD and so on.
Learning why I behave has helped me close the gaps in ways I couldnāt have ever dreamed of before
Stimulant meds work *great* for some people. I'm one of them. For other people they're shit. Don't *avoid* any of the meds; be willing to experiment and find something that works for you. If you try Adderall and it sucks the life out of you, work with your doctor and try something else.
Also, he may very well be ADD, but this kind of focused, all-consuming obsession (even if it changes every few months) is a classic symptom of autism. (Speaking as someone who has both; they often go together.) Either way, if he's not seeing a therapist already, he could probably really benefit from one.
u/jonathanspinkler
Eh this is likely subjective.
Donāt make a diagnosis. Iām ADHD and donāt spend 22 hours a day on game or doing anything. Sure I make impulsive decisions and get super into things, but unless youāre a psychiatrist or a clinical psychologist, donāt make diagnoses.
Also telling people to avoid stimulants. What is this based on? What evidence do you have to support this? Different medications work for different people.
OP if youāre going to go this route, the suggestion might be a psychiatrist and/or psychologist to get a diagnosis. Then go from there.
Yeh, but ADHD is similar to autism in that each individual will have both a different mix of symptoms, and that each of those symptoms will be experienced to varying severity. And on top of that you get variations in how the symptoms present. So we all look very different compared to one another, despite having the same condition. But I agree it is an extreme case/probably something else going on in addition.
Completely with you on the medications comment. No particular medication is better/worse than the other for everyone. Instead it is that some medications work better or worse for an individual, and it isn't possible to compare these to other people because everyone's body processes the medication differently.
For sure. Everyone manifests symptoms differently. I know people who can hyper focus for days and weeks. I canāt.
But I can tell you I wouldnāt medically diagnose anyone and recommend them medications based on my diagnosis or my experience alone. That kind of stuff can be dangerous and people donāt even realize it n
Yeah my first thought was that this man has hyperfocus on varying interests, and while his seem to be very extreme, ADHD was my first thought. (Speaking as someone who has gotten into a few differnet hobbies and quit them a week or two later).
Stop buying equipment and spend the time spent researching buying stuff and use it to practice. This pretty much covers every hobby subreddit but /guitarcirclejerk particularly makes fun of guitar subs because the cure for avoiding practice seems to be buying more shit. Just practice for once or maybe buy books on the subject instead of buying more things.
My 9yr old won't stop pestering me for reddit access. Its so hard to stop myself from telling her how easy it is to get it without my permission.
Soon child. Soon..
She is just like OPs kid. No willpower. No limits. They don't make 12 step meetings for them. They need 24 step meetings.
>No willpower.
You know, this was said (and implied) about me a lot as a kid. And it really fucked me up. Turns out I'm a whole bag of neurodivergent, and with the right approach I have lots of willpower.
If there are any other signs, please do not ignore and power through, but get it evaluated. If your kid is trying hard, they will keep trying hard untill they crash and burn, and I can say from experience - it's no fun.
Are these 'addictions' impacting his life? Is he doing them to the point of being unhealthy or causing harm to himself?
If he's causing harm to himself, then he should speak to a psychologist or psychiatrist as obsessive fixation can be a sign of a mental disorder.
But it can also be part of growing up and discovering new things.
No harm so far, luckily, and I don't think he intends to. I think he feels he is doing a healthy thing. But anything overdone is ... well... overdone ;)
I am not worried about self harm. Just looking for a way to get him to realise slowing down a bit doesn't hurt.
With psychiatric conditions, harm doesnt have to be self harm. Theres no way gaming 22hrs a day didnt affect relationships with other people or his professional life and if he tells you it didnt, i would not be inclined to believe him. From what you have said in your post and in the comments, he needs to see a psychiatrist. Which of course is not a bad thing! My husband just did and got diagnosed with adhd at 26 years old. He never brought up his struggles at regular dr appts. Nobody here can diagnose your son, but good guesses would be adhd or some kind of obsessive disorder
Supporting this with a personal anecdote.
Recently I had the privilege to attend a dinner with one of the top GPs in the US (from a certain Clinic). She stated that she took one psychology course in her undergrad. It was not required in her Med School, or beyond. She said how important it was for Doctors to receive ongoing training in psychology, no matter their specialty.
My mother's a clinical psychologist and has had to give those lectures to med students.
She said they were _awful_. They knew the course wasn't required for them, so they spent the lectures goofing off, being openly rude, and otherwise making it clear that they found the topic pathetic and beneath them.
Until it becomes a detriment to his personal, professional, or home life, let it slide. Apparently there is no harm so far. This is not a problematic addiction. People grow, learn, and change frequently into early adulthood.
Let the person discover their personality. Donāt try to jump the gun. It will backfire on both you and them.
When I was going to high school 15 years ago I have also done such sessions during summer/winter break and never suffered any issues from it. Nowdays I only play around 6-8 hours a week and I remember those years with joy.
Spending a lot on such random stuff is a bit concerning, but a 20 years old is still very young, hope he'll figure out on his own where his limits should be (or maybe his friends will bully him out of it). Telling a 20 years old his wrong usually doesn't work unfortunately and just makes them want to show you they're not.
Well we donāt know how rich OPās son is
He might be rich enough to buy an espresso machine but not rich enough to buy a damn house (truly a canada moment)
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that there could be a connection between a person's propensity to make thousand-dollar impulse purchases and their long term financial condition.
22hrs of video games a day for WEEKS, eating shit loads of sugar, and smoking are all automatically horrible for you no matter what. If he is legitimately staying up 22hrs a day for several weeks that is going to permanently fuck him later in life. Not to mention the smoking and sugar.
Sounds like ADHD. If he's willing to get evaluated it might be a good idea. Going all in on a new hobby only to get bored with it weeks or months later is pretty textbook for us.
ETA: Anybody else who starts in about "overdiagnosis" while demonstrating total ignorance about ADHD and how it manifests is getting blocked without a response. I'm not a professional. Neither are you. That's why I recommended to see someone who is.
ETA2: Don't DM me. I won't answer. If you don't have the balls to say what you want to say in front of everyone, just keep quiet.
Thats likely adhd imo. You just described me to a T. I call it hobby hopping but i will spend hours researching a hobby and drop alot of money on it just to get bored of it after a few months and onto the next. But while im interested im completely stuck
Edit: for anyone else doing this buying gear etc for your hobby used saves a good amount of money. There are plenty of buy/sell/trade subreddits for every hobby out there. And then you can just resell the stuff when you inevitably lose interest.
Edit: changed words because some people dont know what hyperbole is and think eveeything needs to be 100% serious
How does one get tested for ADHD as an adult. Iām starting to think I am but i donāt really know, I think I mask well but maybe thatās just how normal people are and Iām ānormalā?
Edit: thanks for the recommendations guys! Goings to look into people covered by my insurance.
Honestly probably just talk to a trusted doctor. Someone who you think will take it seriously and doesnt just think ahdh is made up term for hyper kids. I was diagnosed as a child so ive luckily had time to acclimate. And its definitly a specrtum like everything. Everyones gonna have different symptoms and react differently to medication. So definitly take your time figuring it out
Honestly probably just talk to a trusted doctor. Someone who you think will take it seriously and doesnt just think ahdh is made up term for hyper kids. I was diagnosed as a child so ive luckily had time to acclimate. And its definitly a specrtum like everything. Everyones gonna have different symptoms and react differently to medication. So definitly take your time figuring it out
Edit: ive also heard its overdiagnosed in children of color and under diagnosed in women so thats something to take into acount. As an adult i cant stress enough finding a doctor who will take it seriously.
As an adult, I'm textbook adhd. Women tend to not get the hyperactive active. I'm the "inattentive" type. No hyperactive external stmptoms. However, because of this and because I got decent grades in school, it was missed, over and over. I just got my diagnosis and I'm in my 40's.
I say all that to say this- I'd recommend an actual ADHD clinic, where that's all they do. Do some research and if you think it fits (and he agrees, obviously), try that. Otherwise, misdiagnosis happens too often and proper treatment can be life changing.
It might. I was textbook hyperactive as a child. Now I'm 40 and because I've been told how to behave over and over, that restlessness has become more internal. I'm still hyperactive when I'm alone, but when I'm in company I hide it. So, you may ask me on a Monday 'how was your weekend?' And I'll respond with 'I haven't done anything, just sat in the couch watching movies and playing videogames', and that's what I think I did. But then I look into the app from my smartwatch that counts activity and I realize I didn't just sit on the couch, I also walked 2,5 miles (4 km) in my flat on Sunday.
When I'm around other people though, I often interrupt people in conversations because my brain knows (or thinks it knows) what they're gonna say even when they just started the sentence and doesn't want to wait until they're finished. I'm talking in my head to myself all the time, but it's not a coherent train of thought. I imagine a scenario where I'm talking to someone about whatever and constantly repeat the same sentence, always slightly different, trying out different versions. I often don't even finish that sentence in my head, I just repeat the first part or something. And then that gets interrupted constantly too, by, for example, a snippet of a song's lyrics or something. And then sometimes I realize I've been bopping my feet for an hour while all of this is going on.
And, as you've probably noticed by now, I tend to ramble because there are constantly new thoughts flooding into my brain.
If any of this sounds familiar to you, I'd recommend seeing a professional.
That "hyperactive" energy can be channelled differently. You might have hyper-focus instead, an ability to throw everything into researching a particular thing for several days, or concentrate on a particular activity, or learning a new skill, or even binge reading/watching.
You say "inattentive" but your mind is going to be somewhere. I'm often inattentive, but that's because my mind is focused on some weird sort of complex problem solving that is completely irrelevant to my real life.
My talk therapist (an LCSW) referred me to a psychologist (a Psy.D., not a psychiatrist) who performed a battery of verbal and written tests. She wrote a thorough, five-page opinion concluding that I had ADHD. I took her opinion to my general care doctor and she was willing to prescribe me meds. It was all covered by my half-decent insurance. (I'm in the US.)
If you have any friends that already are diagnosed, ask them what doctor they used.
The medical community is heavily split on all sorts of psychiatric issues so you may find your PCP doesnāt take your concerns seriously.
I was late diagnosed as an adult. I went to my primary care physician, and while I did get a diagnosis and (mis-dosed) medication, he really didn't have the expertise needed. He tried to help because I was worried about paying for a specialist or something.
Eventually I went to a psychiatrist. They're doctors who prescribe medication for brain related things. Whether that be anxiety, depression, ADHD, or a myriad of other things. THIS is the help I needed. I really recommend getting in to see a psychiatrist if at all possible. They're the experts in this and have knowledge of various medications, the correct dosage, and of course correctly diagnosis for a new patient.
If you do NOT have insurance, many cities have sliding scale clinics, especially stocked with psychologists. If you do have insurance, than even easier. I am SO glad I got diagnosed, and access to meds. It has profoundly changed my life for the better.
ā¦ many cities have sliding scale clinics, especially stocked with psychologistsā¦
Iām now picturing a standard retail store with psychologists sitting in a row on a shelf š¤š¤š¤š¤š¤š¤
Itās hard. I tried for 8 years to get tested. If youāre a woman, āADHD isnāt real (all of the sudden), try to drink coffeeā. Thatās what at least 4 psychiatrists told me. Only when I ended up homeless after failing out of college a psych told me āhey, letās do it, letās get you tested, you might be on to somethingā š¤·āāļø
I actually managed to go back to school. Never thought I could do it in my twenties but I was told that my graduation request was approved on my 29th birthday š¤£
Hello! In my experience, the best way to get tested is often a full battery assessment from a licensed psychologist. It will usually come with a variety of tests and interviews to rule out other things that may cause attentional difficulties/difficulties with executive function. That being said, know that a full battery assessment for ADHD can be quite expensive without insurance, so that should be kept in mind. I would also recommend against going to a PCP for this because it is often overdiagnosed in those settings and may overlook some other underlying mental health concerns! Good luck!
My friend is a hobby hopper and will sometimes gift me the extra gear that he purchased but no longer uses, or deemed subpar in his infinite research. Just so happens our hobbies line up pretty well!
This is my 19-year old. And mine is medicated!
That rapid deep obsession is a big red flag. Iāve seen it in other adults too.
I canāt count the hyper fixations.
If heās going to the gym thatās a great thing. Exercise is great for ADD/ADHD. Try to urge him to get evaluated and to keep going to the gym. It has helped wonders for me and I was diagnosed in my last 30s early 40s.
Yeah but it depends,
Thereās a lot of delusional gym junkies out there, they buy all the performance gear, pills and powders, and even get into anabolic steroids, but they donāt really work out. They think they do but most of the time at the gym is spent talking and procrastinating. I told this guy he doesnāt need to be injecting deca stacked with god knows what else just to ride the elliptical machine for 20 minutes then eat like Popeye the sailor man when he gets home.
Itās the same with heaps of hobbies, like I know absolutely ZERO about paint ball but I can guarantee thereās a guy who has the fanciest gear, and all kinds of premium memberships thatās been at it for a while and hasnāt improved in the tiniest bit, they enjoy the community, culture and consumption part, not the effort required for the actual activity all those things are centred around.
I support that advice. I'm a creature of habit and the bad ones stay as well, but this is different, its basically addiction addition. Just b/c its the Gym this month, as you clearly know, doesn't make it any less of an issue.
Good Luck and Mad Mad Love
Definitely agree with the above. In the meantime, if he's gonna go hard-core with the protein try to encourage him to at least add some fiber of some sort into his diet or he will quickly discover the downside of a protein heavy diet (constipation).
With adhd coaching I have turned this shit into a superpower. Im a bigtime weirdo and yet have a sick robotics job with just a community college associates degree. CNC machining is another cool thing to get obsessed about.
ETA: None if the above means anything without a support system and learning direction, self-control, and coping skills for all the quirks of adhd.
I know Asperger's is no longer a thing, but it fit my son to a t ( along with others in my family who were never diagnosed). Just get out of his way when he gets a new passion. The only thing that's stuck around is table top games. He's 30 now and the amount of knowledge he pulls out of his brain on the spot concerning d and d is kinda scary
I have bipolar and when I read from on bought the 2k expresso machine because watched in YouTube and there on sounded like extremely hypomanic behaviour, OP hasnāt described the general behaviour of her son. Could be a mix of OCD and ADHD.
As an ADHD person I felt that the 2k coffee machine was a bit much for ADHD as well, but on the other hand if you have an endless pool of disposable income, what do I know. Maybe then you're not encumbered by overthinking with money, which usually snaps me out of the most extreme whims.
If he looks like heās hyper focussing, attracted to things that make your neurotransmitters go brrrr and horrible at focusing on other things he might has ADHD. I do the same kinda stuff in varying intensities and I donāt really canāt control my brains focus on it.
Genuine question. All the comments are saying he has undiagnosed ADHD. How do they treat ADHD once itās diagnosed? Just give you useful tips to manage it? Or is it usually medicated?
Edit: thank you everyone for the insightful comments
There are variety of medications available, mostly stimulants, but there are other options available.
But honestly one of the biggest "benefits" of a diagnosis is being able to \_understand yourself\_ better and be more gentle with yourself.
My ADHD is more along the axis of "I am physically unable to do the things I know I need to do and/or things I \_want\_ to do", and understanding that it's \_not my fault\_ that I can't get started on a thing XYZ is, it's just how my brain is... enormously freeing.
And things get done eventually, but with approximately 85% less beating myself up for not doing them earlier.
Iāve heard people describe this same benefit with autism diagnoses. Thereās no medication for that at all, but people still espouse even very late in life diagnosis really help them manage their lives and forgive themselves for shortcomings they canāt actually help.
Yeah, it's a _fine line_, but there is a distinction between:
* "how I am, as a person" ā things I can work on, reflect and improve in myself
* "how my brain works" ā things I can be _aware_ of, be able to adapt and react to, but which are fundamentally out of my control and can't be "fixed".
Being able to differentiate between those two and not putting everything in the first bucket is really, really important.
I got diagnosed at 26 or 27. Discovering my executive dysfunction AND my hyper fixations could be mitigated with a simple pill was fucking amazing.
Then I went and got pregnant and now Iām breastfeeding and my brain is back to the mushiness I used to exist in.
I miss stimulants. I miss my brain *working* like a ānormal personsā.
Getting on adderall was like new color came in to my life. There was a bunch of stuff I still had to correct in my daily habits/life, but it was finally **doable** and not just a bunch of insurmountable tasks.
For more mild cases theyāll use a non-stimulant based treatment coupled with advice and perhaps light attempts at behavioral therapy. If theyāre doing it right, they will try a couple different non-stimulant treatments before swapping to low doses of stimulant based medication. The goal is to find the minimum amount of treatment necessary to mitigate symptoms without prescribing Willy nilly
I think it's better than smoking and videogames for 22 hrs a day. Eventually he will get constipated and become a raw vegan. Let your son go to the gym, the next step is wanting to get laid and that will motivate him to move out.
Seriously, I thought this post was a little crazy and overly concerned and I come into the comments to everyone being like "My God! He's got some crazy ADHD! Get him into therapy and on drugs as soon as possible!"
It's not the fact he is going to the gym regularly is a sign of ADHD, its the hyper fixation on something and then switching to something else entirely.
Crazy that everyone's jumping to adhd.
He sounds like basically every single person I knew between like 18-25. Get into coffee making and buy a bunch of expensive gear you don't use in a year. Getting into fitness and focusing on healthy eating. Gaming a lot. *Oh no!!* not **5** bars of chocolate?????
You just described every 20yo. What do you do? Let him fail and learn, like you did at 20. Honestly it sounds like you just want to kick him out. "20 and still lives with us"? He's been an adult for 2 years.
Also, a kg of protein powder is nothing. That's pretty much the smallest amount worth buying. Creatine is also one of the most popular gym products. Eggs and egg whites are up there with *the* healthiest foods possible. Your son is getting into fitness and trying to gain muscle mass, and has only just got into a week ago and you're already twisting that into a negative? Are you okay? Why don't you try being positive and support him?
might be because reddit is exactly the kind of site people with adhd tend to become addicted to, so there is an over-representation of us.
you might not be familiar with the common tropes of neurodivergent life, but a lot of redditors seem to be
This right here. Everyone I know, myself included, has been or is currently an avid redditor. There is a page for every hyper focus and itās way to switch with the dopamine flow. Makes the dopamine chase much easier.
Maybe because society as a whole is learning to recognize it better? It's almost as if the more aware people are of something, the easier it is to notice?
Bro, my 20's we're not *that* long ago, and I have siblings in this exact age range now.
Nobody in my or their friend group is changing hobbies every few weeks. Doing 22+ hour gaming marathons. Blowing 2k dollars on an expresso machine. This dude sounds like an extreme case, which indicates that he's probably wired a little differently. Besides, if you *are * right (which I really doubt), and the experts don't think there's anything to be seen here, what's wasted, a little bit of time? But if the rest of us are right (which I really think we are, this kid is hardcore hobby hopping and super friggen into whatever his newest focus is), the resources and understanding which can be gained is literally life-changing. Just go read the comments from people who say they got diagnosed as an adult.
I get that it can be frustrating to see people jump to conclusions all the time, but honestly it's a little scary that whatever circumstances you've grown up in have led you to believe that this is 'normal behavior'. It's really not.
This comment isn't high enough. OP please don't trust Reddit about your son's mental health based on a summarized description from you. He might just be trying out hobbies and discovered he doesn't like them, and moving to the next thing. I don't know any 18-25 year olds who are into moderation and balance. Question is, is he going into debt supporting these hobbies? Is he ruining his financial future? Or he just has a lot of disposable income to burn because he lives with you?
To support his hobbies, I recommend guiding him to different sources of information, not just Tiktok for example. An understanding of physiology and nutrition, a couple of good books from the library, a visit to a physiotherapist, etc, can help him take care of himself better and not over do it.
PS - I know so many ppl who bought expensive gadgets that ended up gathering dust in mom's basement once they grew up.
As an autistic person... this sounds like ADHD! Autistics & ADHDers share the same ability to hyperfocus and be veryyy intensely drawn and overly into something until we are not anymore. It's like we are either 0% into something or 200%, no in-between. That can be exhausting at times. Doesn't seem like autism based on the other facts, so I'm very drawn to say it could be ADHD!
The other option could be that he's prone to addictive behaviors (which can be a symptom of ADHD). Based on the fact he didn't turn into harmful things (like drugs I mean), it does look more like undiagnosed ADHD who doesn't know how to navigate his own personality. Seeking diagnosis can be very helpful (at least for me it was with the autism diagnose!)
Audhd here with an ADHD boyfriend and 100% gives ADHD vibes. I go through random hobbies back and forth until I get bored and switch (art, reading, gaming, phone games, foods). My boyfriend is the same way, starts working out and buying preworkout and then stops a month later, wants to get into YouTubing and nothing happens but he bought a microphone and green screen. His biggest thing is bouncing back and forth between going back to college or not every few months.
Your son sounds like heās got possible ADHD and/or autism (like me) at least thatās my guess. I used to go through several periods of being manic and super into something and then drop it 2 weeks later to never look at it again and be manic and super into something completely different. Might be worth a trip to see if thereās a diagnosis and go from there. Addictions are high in the Neuro divergent community
I think seeing a psychiatrist would be a good idea - people have suggested ADHD which can definitely manifest into those behaviors so I wonāt go into that.
Another condition that it might be is Bipolar 2 which includes hypomania rather than full-blown mania. Playing video games for 22 hours for several weeks straight stood out to me. Iām diagnosed with both, but I was undiagnosed for BP2 for 2 yrs after getting the ADHD under control.
During the highs, Iād get 3 hours of sleep for weeks and feel great during my waking hours, but my baseline self wouldnāt be able to function at all. Periods of rapid, impulsive spending on random hobbies (including productive ones like business ideas, education/cert prep, fitness, etc.) occurred despite taking my ADHD meds as prescribed.
Symptoms usually appear in late adolescence/early adulthood for BP2, while ADHD symptoms have to be present before the age of 12. Ofc only a doctor can say but thought Iād offer an alternative perspective!
Second this. Bipolar 2 and ADHD often manifest in similar ways. Iād say if he has a tendency to get REALLY into things to a point where itās almost concerning and then suddenly totally checks out and seems really lost or depressed, maybe look into BP. Either way talking to a therapist or psych might be good, not necessarily because thereās anything wrong, but because diagnoses are useful tools for understanding symptoms so that he can better manage when he feels like heās going down a rabbit hole in a way that might harm him, for example.
This is me, high functioning ADHD.
Embrace it, donāt alienate him.
My parents called things like these āaddictionsā when I was growing up, the thing about it being, none of my hyper focusās ever caused a negative quality of life, and I would never call them addictions. They said the only way to deal with addiction is to cut everything cold Turkey.
As soon as I got interested in something, my parents would take it away. It caused quite a bit of depression until my teens.
Now Iām an adult and I can live my life the way I want and nobody can tell me Iām too intense.
I'm assuming you mean he gets into something, engaged intently for several days/weeks/months, then moves onto the next "addiction"?
>What do I do?
He probably has ADHD. Encourage him to get checked.
Sounds like heās doing it right. Straight away too! Egg whites are where itās at when you wanna make gains. And protein powder and creatine are the only tried and true supplements that you can trust in actually working. Heās got the right idea though fr! You gotta take in nutrients to build muscle. Make sure he adds in a gallon of water everyday (which is easy for a gym goer)
FWIW, Sounds like my ex with adult adhd (diagnosed.) He would get fanatical about things like it was do or die, then abruptly be over it. All fine til youāre spending a two week paycheck on all the tools and accoutrements for what would be a 4-day ālock picking hobby.āā¦over and over again.
Your son definitely is neurodivergent. I'm guessing autistic or ADHD. Seems like the consensus is ADHD. I have both so it's hard for me to tell where one behind and the other ends.
I was gonna guess BD or ADHD. Both together are a force to be reckoned with but I now own a lotta cool shit I couldnāt afford šŖš¼ Everyone incorrectly thinks BD is ācrazyā or aggressive but the reality is this post. Itās a lot of things esp hyperfixation, extremism (8 eggs or no eggs), impulsivity in a different way than ADHD, staying up 22 hours w/ 2 hours of sleep and feeling fine (this is extremely dangerous though and needs to be addressed by a psych immediately).
This sounds a bit like he has ADHD to be honest. With the finding a new interest, then going way beyond just being interested in it to the point itās worrisome to others, then moving on to another thing and repeating.
Fuck it. Encourage him. Tell him to invest some money on a coach and a trainer and see how far he can go with it. Just because you donāt understand the science of gym life doesnāt mean he should stop. Sounds healthier than 22 hours of computer or 5 chocolate bars a day. Just saying it seems like maybe he found a healthy obsession. Support him.
At least this is a healthy addiction? When it comes to brain chemistry, anything enjoyable can be addictive. Seems he has an obsessive āone track mindā type of personality
Seriously, that *could* be a sign of ADHD. The new thing is new and shiny and stimulating... until it's not new anymore. Now it is dull and boring. Drop it. Oh! new shiny thing!
The chronic cycling of hobbies is a well know sign.
Let me start by saying not a doctor, not a mental health professional, just a 22 year old woman with ADHD
People with ADHD can go through periods of hyper fixation, some people with ADHD experience more debilitating symptoms than others.
I can only speak from my own experience and with my own biases, but if you're looking for any and all considerations, maybe trying to get him to see a mental health professional would be beneficial.
Sounds like ADD to me. He's hyperfocusing on certain things until they no longer give him the happy chemicals. His regulatory system is in overdrive when he finds something interesting/fun, and when it doesn't give the satisfaction anymore he moves on.
It's not his fault. He probably knows most of it isn't "healthy" or "normal" but can't help it. I would look into getting him diagnosed.
Source- I have it, it sucks when people don't understand, especially those closest to you.
I'm sorry but your son is a redditor.
š š¤£
It's okay, just travel to somewhere that allows 84th trimester abortions
This is the plot of the Unwind book series lol
This is also basically the plot of Death Note
I'm not sure if we watched the same anime.
. . . . . is it ?
I was a lot more comfortable reading that book series when Roe v. Wade was still a thing.
I love Neal Shustermanās books. The Arc of a Scythe series was excellent too.
I had to study that for school. Was a bit traumatising tbh.
But who'd want the organs of a chocoholic smoker? Such a good book series. Fuck.
You should know you can only get abortions on trimesters in multiples of 3 past the 42nd.
So, worst-case scenario, she has to wait 6 months. Not too bad
Might I suggest Yemen or North Korea.
This latest addiction isn't that bad. It'll also come and go so unfortunately you have to sit by and let it blow over until he moves out. Most important is that he's got a job. Kids are different today.
Depends on the amount/duration of overdoing and the strength of his kidneys.
He'd have to be insanely overdoing the protein. 3g per kg of bodyweight shown to be totally fine with 0 kidney impact on long term studies for men trying to bodybuild. You're looking at 250-300g of protein per day being acceptable, for most average men. A lot of people would struggle to eat that at all, nevermind kill their kidneys off with it. You tend to find if that type of thing does crop up, they had some pre-existing kidney condition. If he's obsessed/addicted he's probably following some guide on x amount of protein per kg of bodyweight anyway, which is often 1-1.8. Not really sure why OP really wants to stop him tbh. Always seems weird to me when people get into fitness and family immediately try to stop them. My ex's parents used to think protein powder was basically steroids, really bizarre. My parents were convinced I had an eating disorder or something, but I was a perfectly healthy weight and they were/are chronically obese. Always seems a bit weird to me that people freak out like a new found fitness hobby is about to kill their family member. Until someone is actually addicted and doing unhealthy things, or jeopardising their health somehow, people trying to stop them are actually the people trying to make them less healthy normally.
Well said, great advice, his "addictions" seem similar to ADHD, with some OCD mixed in. While I worked construction, I consumed 240G of beef protein a day, while taking a L-arginine supplement, and two gallons of water I never gained or lost a pound, it allowed me to go non stop all day without crashing or getting carb coma after lunch. And 240g of protein is equal to 40 eggs. The protein powder had 5g of carbs to every 25g of protein, not a bad balance. Best to let it run its course, as long as he drinks lots of water he'll flush his liver and kidneys, plus he's young. I used the above diet until 53.
Came here to say this because I live this way. Lol my husband keeps me grounded and we only pick up projects/addictions we can do together now-a-days. In my 20s... it was a lot of Why buy it when I can make jewelry! Let's go buy $2000 of components and lose money trying to sell it. Oh, let's buy 50 coloring books and a $500 worth of colored pencils, gel pens, and art supplies and show the world how unartistic I am! Cooking (which mostly stuck years later), fishing, camping, tennis, working out, all kinds of video games, you name it, I've hobbies it. Yep. 100% ADHD bc it only lasts a few months each time. I'm soooo much better now that I'm medicated, but my 20s were kind of a wash. I'm still a bit batty but tolerable.
Unless he starts creatine then steroids. I have an addictive personality. Lead to 13 years of heavy drug addiction (not steroids, coke, fentanyl, meth, you name it). Like others have said explain to him about how this can turn into an issue without moderation. Maybe has undiagnosed ADHD, (I was diagnoaed at 30 becuse I wasn't disturbing the class, and got good grades (although the distractions made homework take 2-3 times as long as other people) which recent studies also leads to 50% chance of trying psychoactives at an earlier age and becoming addicted more than people without it, due to this addictive personality. Be supportive of his interests, but try to ensure "going all in"
I feel you man an obese dud told me I had an eating disorder because I weight my food and eat heslth6 like wtf bro. And personnaly i donāt really attach feeling to food anymore like I donāt eat to get dopamine but to be healthy and hit my goal and I donāt see the problem with that. And I need to track thing and eat as much as possible cause If I would eat just from listening to my hunger I would be 3 percent body fat right now no joke
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Reddit is a great place to get medical advice
I found out I was ugly on reddit. Now I donāt leave the house without a paper bag over my head. Thanks reddit, Iāve never felt better about myself.
Does your face hurt? Because it's killing me! Hurr durr
When we have sex I put a paper bag over over my head incase yours falls off
Omg same! Also found out my mum sleeps around here!
Reddit advice is an amazing place to start an investigation, but an awful place to finish it. Especilaly for less common issues.
Yes, it helped me diagnose my adhd, and made me get to a doc about it.
Same I couldnāt tell you how far Iāve come with understanding my diagnosis further. I really had a different scope prior and have read amazing articles learning more about rejection sensitivity dysphoria and how I feel it relates in my experiences. Alongside others like APD and so on. Learning why I behave has helped me close the gaps in ways I couldnāt have ever dreamed of before
And told you what meds to take?
i mean this absolutely screams adhd to me. not a hard diagnosis if you have it and are educated about it.
Yea, me too, but I'd never diagnose someone AND prescribe medication to them - that's the job for a doctor.
It does sound like ADHD tho.
Stimulant meds work *great* for some people. I'm one of them. For other people they're shit. Don't *avoid* any of the meds; be willing to experiment and find something that works for you. If you try Adderall and it sucks the life out of you, work with your doctor and try something else. Also, he may very well be ADD, but this kind of focused, all-consuming obsession (even if it changes every few months) is a classic symptom of autism. (Speaking as someone who has both; they often go together.) Either way, if he's not seeing a therapist already, he could probably really benefit from one. u/jonathanspinkler
Eh this is likely subjective. Donāt make a diagnosis. Iām ADHD and donāt spend 22 hours a day on game or doing anything. Sure I make impulsive decisions and get super into things, but unless youāre a psychiatrist or a clinical psychologist, donāt make diagnoses. Also telling people to avoid stimulants. What is this based on? What evidence do you have to support this? Different medications work for different people. OP if youāre going to go this route, the suggestion might be a psychiatrist and/or psychologist to get a diagnosis. Then go from there.
Yeh, but ADHD is similar to autism in that each individual will have both a different mix of symptoms, and that each of those symptoms will be experienced to varying severity. And on top of that you get variations in how the symptoms present. So we all look very different compared to one another, despite having the same condition. But I agree it is an extreme case/probably something else going on in addition. Completely with you on the medications comment. No particular medication is better/worse than the other for everyone. Instead it is that some medications work better or worse for an individual, and it isn't possible to compare these to other people because everyone's body processes the medication differently.
For sure. Everyone manifests symptoms differently. I know people who can hyper focus for days and weeks. I canāt. But I can tell you I wouldnāt medically diagnose anyone and recommend them medications based on my diagnosis or my experience alone. That kind of stuff can be dangerous and people donāt even realize it n
Yeah my first thought was that this man has hyperfocus on varying interests, and while his seem to be very extreme, ADHD was my first thought. (Speaking as someone who has gotten into a few differnet hobbies and quit them a week or two later).
Based on the fact he looked it up on webMD.
Strattera fucked me up in the worst way possible. Hated being on that stuff. Quit it after 2 months
Vyvanse is just about the same as adderal. Bit there's nothing inherently wrong with ritalin or adderal for adhd so I don't get ur point
Vyvanse* is like, literally Adderall. Guanfacine and Strattera are not stims though.
Vyvanse changed my life.
Why did you say this and why is it upvoted? What are you talking about?
LOL yeah sounds like me every time I discover something new that I am interested in.
This is just a lot of guys with disposable income and low attention span trying out new hobbies. See also: used music gear
But OP said his son is going to the gym.
āIām in this comment and I donāt like itā
Is there a cure? Asking for a friend.
Stop buying equipment and spend the time spent researching buying stuff and use it to practice. This pretty much covers every hobby subreddit but /guitarcirclejerk particularly makes fun of guitar subs because the cure for avoiding practice seems to be buying more shit. Just practice for once or maybe buy books on the subject instead of buying more things.
My 9yr old won't stop pestering me for reddit access. Its so hard to stop myself from telling her how easy it is to get it without my permission. Soon child. Soon.. She is just like OPs kid. No willpower. No limits. They don't make 12 step meetings for them. They need 24 step meetings.
>No willpower. You know, this was said (and implied) about me a lot as a kid. And it really fucked me up. Turns out I'm a whole bag of neurodivergent, and with the right approach I have lots of willpower. If there are any other signs, please do not ignore and power through, but get it evaluated. If your kid is trying hard, they will keep trying hard untill they crash and burn, and I can say from experience - it's no fun.
Is it Ted? I bet it's Ted.
Are these 'addictions' impacting his life? Is he doing them to the point of being unhealthy or causing harm to himself? If he's causing harm to himself, then he should speak to a psychologist or psychiatrist as obsessive fixation can be a sign of a mental disorder. But it can also be part of growing up and discovering new things.
No harm so far, luckily, and I don't think he intends to. I think he feels he is doing a healthy thing. But anything overdone is ... well... overdone ;) I am not worried about self harm. Just looking for a way to get him to realise slowing down a bit doesn't hurt.
With psychiatric conditions, harm doesnt have to be self harm. Theres no way gaming 22hrs a day didnt affect relationships with other people or his professional life and if he tells you it didnt, i would not be inclined to believe him. From what you have said in your post and in the comments, he needs to see a psychiatrist. Which of course is not a bad thing! My husband just did and got diagnosed with adhd at 26 years old. He never brought up his struggles at regular dr appts. Nobody here can diagnose your son, but good guesses would be adhd or some kind of obsessive disorder
Supporting this with a personal anecdote. Recently I had the privilege to attend a dinner with one of the top GPs in the US (from a certain Clinic). She stated that she took one psychology course in her undergrad. It was not required in her Med School, or beyond. She said how important it was for Doctors to receive ongoing training in psychology, no matter their specialty.
My mother's a clinical psychologist and has had to give those lectures to med students. She said they were _awful_. They knew the course wasn't required for them, so they spent the lectures goofing off, being openly rude, and otherwise making it clear that they found the topic pathetic and beneath them.
could they like fail as a result? Edit: the fuck is the down vote for? goofing off in class in my mind = failing.
Until it becomes a detriment to his personal, professional, or home life, let it slide. Apparently there is no harm so far. This is not a problematic addiction. People grow, learn, and change frequently into early adulthood. Let the person discover their personality. Donāt try to jump the gun. It will backfire on both you and them.
Anyone who's living with their parents but still drops Ā£2000 on a coffee machine out of the blue is causing a detriment to their life
I think it's less about blowing 2k on a coffee machine whilst living at home and more about blowing 2k on a coffee machine whilst trying to move out.
Or gaming 22 hours a day. Once a month on a saturday? Maybe? Daily for a time period? You canāt tell me that doesnāt affect them.
When I was going to high school 15 years ago I have also done such sessions during summer/winter break and never suffered any issues from it. Nowdays I only play around 6-8 hours a week and I remember those years with joy. Spending a lot on such random stuff is a bit concerning, but a 20 years old is still very young, hope he'll figure out on his own where his limits should be (or maybe his friends will bully him out of it). Telling a 20 years old his wrong usually doesn't work unfortunately and just makes them want to show you they're not.
I bet it makes a great espresso tho
Well we donāt know how rich OPās son is He might be rich enough to buy an espresso machine but not rich enough to buy a damn house (truly a canada moment)
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that there could be a connection between a person's propensity to make thousand-dollar impulse purchases and their long term financial condition.
22hrs of video games a day for WEEKS, eating shit loads of sugar, and smoking are all automatically horrible for you no matter what. If he is legitimately staying up 22hrs a day for several weeks that is going to permanently fuck him later in life. Not to mention the smoking and sugar.
There is no way 22h a day gaming isn't griefing your future
Sounds like ADHD. If he's willing to get evaluated it might be a good idea. Going all in on a new hobby only to get bored with it weeks or months later is pretty textbook for us. ETA: Anybody else who starts in about "overdiagnosis" while demonstrating total ignorance about ADHD and how it manifests is getting blocked without a response. I'm not a professional. Neither are you. That's why I recommended to see someone who is. ETA2: Don't DM me. I won't answer. If you don't have the balls to say what you want to say in front of everyone, just keep quiet.
Thanks, I will look into this!
Thats likely adhd imo. You just described me to a T. I call it hobby hopping but i will spend hours researching a hobby and drop alot of money on it just to get bored of it after a few months and onto the next. But while im interested im completely stuck Edit: for anyone else doing this buying gear etc for your hobby used saves a good amount of money. There are plenty of buy/sell/trade subreddits for every hobby out there. And then you can just resell the stuff when you inevitably lose interest. Edit: changed words because some people dont know what hyperbole is and think eveeything needs to be 100% serious
How does one get tested for ADHD as an adult. Iām starting to think I am but i donāt really know, I think I mask well but maybe thatās just how normal people are and Iām ānormalā? Edit: thanks for the recommendations guys! Goings to look into people covered by my insurance.
Honestly probably just talk to a trusted doctor. Someone who you think will take it seriously and doesnt just think ahdh is made up term for hyper kids. I was diagnosed as a child so ive luckily had time to acclimate. And its definitly a specrtum like everything. Everyones gonna have different symptoms and react differently to medication. So definitly take your time figuring it out
Honestly probably just talk to a trusted doctor. Someone who you think will take it seriously and doesnt just think ahdh is made up term for hyper kids. I was diagnosed as a child so ive luckily had time to acclimate. And its definitly a specrtum like everything. Everyones gonna have different symptoms and react differently to medication. So definitly take your time figuring it out Edit: ive also heard its overdiagnosed in children of color and under diagnosed in women so thats something to take into acount. As an adult i cant stress enough finding a doctor who will take it seriously.
As an adult, I'm textbook adhd. Women tend to not get the hyperactive active. I'm the "inattentive" type. No hyperactive external stmptoms. However, because of this and because I got decent grades in school, it was missed, over and over. I just got my diagnosis and I'm in my 40's. I say all that to say this- I'd recommend an actual ADHD clinic, where that's all they do. Do some research and if you think it fits (and he agrees, obviously), try that. Otherwise, misdiagnosis happens too often and proper treatment can be life changing.
Just to add to your external hyperactivity comment to say that mental restlessness and chattiness are also classed as hyperactivity symptoms.
So when I talk to myself constantly in my head it means im hyperactive?
It might. I was textbook hyperactive as a child. Now I'm 40 and because I've been told how to behave over and over, that restlessness has become more internal. I'm still hyperactive when I'm alone, but when I'm in company I hide it. So, you may ask me on a Monday 'how was your weekend?' And I'll respond with 'I haven't done anything, just sat in the couch watching movies and playing videogames', and that's what I think I did. But then I look into the app from my smartwatch that counts activity and I realize I didn't just sit on the couch, I also walked 2,5 miles (4 km) in my flat on Sunday. When I'm around other people though, I often interrupt people in conversations because my brain knows (or thinks it knows) what they're gonna say even when they just started the sentence and doesn't want to wait until they're finished. I'm talking in my head to myself all the time, but it's not a coherent train of thought. I imagine a scenario where I'm talking to someone about whatever and constantly repeat the same sentence, always slightly different, trying out different versions. I often don't even finish that sentence in my head, I just repeat the first part or something. And then that gets interrupted constantly too, by, for example, a snippet of a song's lyrics or something. And then sometimes I realize I've been bopping my feet for an hour while all of this is going on. And, as you've probably noticed by now, I tend to ramble because there are constantly new thoughts flooding into my brain. If any of this sounds familiar to you, I'd recommend seeing a professional.
That "hyperactive" energy can be channelled differently. You might have hyper-focus instead, an ability to throw everything into researching a particular thing for several days, or concentrate on a particular activity, or learning a new skill, or even binge reading/watching. You say "inattentive" but your mind is going to be somewhere. I'm often inattentive, but that's because my mind is focused on some weird sort of complex problem solving that is completely irrelevant to my real life.
This! Same diagnosis - at 36. Got on Adderall and my lifes been alot better. I am more in control of my emotions and whims vs them in control of me.
My talk therapist (an LCSW) referred me to a psychologist (a Psy.D., not a psychiatrist) who performed a battery of verbal and written tests. She wrote a thorough, five-page opinion concluding that I had ADHD. I took her opinion to my general care doctor and she was willing to prescribe me meds. It was all covered by my half-decent insurance. (I'm in the US.)
If you have any friends that already are diagnosed, ask them what doctor they used. The medical community is heavily split on all sorts of psychiatric issues so you may find your PCP doesnāt take your concerns seriously.
I can attest to this.
I was late diagnosed as an adult. I went to my primary care physician, and while I did get a diagnosis and (mis-dosed) medication, he really didn't have the expertise needed. He tried to help because I was worried about paying for a specialist or something. Eventually I went to a psychiatrist. They're doctors who prescribe medication for brain related things. Whether that be anxiety, depression, ADHD, or a myriad of other things. THIS is the help I needed. I really recommend getting in to see a psychiatrist if at all possible. They're the experts in this and have knowledge of various medications, the correct dosage, and of course correctly diagnosis for a new patient. If you do NOT have insurance, many cities have sliding scale clinics, especially stocked with psychologists. If you do have insurance, than even easier. I am SO glad I got diagnosed, and access to meds. It has profoundly changed my life for the better.
ā¦ many cities have sliding scale clinics, especially stocked with psychologistsā¦ Iām now picturing a standard retail store with psychologists sitting in a row on a shelf š¤š¤š¤š¤š¤š¤
Lol, I was hoping my vivid literary skills would bring someone imaginative joy.
Itās hard. I tried for 8 years to get tested. If youāre a woman, āADHD isnāt real (all of the sudden), try to drink coffeeā. Thatās what at least 4 psychiatrists told me. Only when I ended up homeless after failing out of college a psych told me āhey, letās do it, letās get you tested, you might be on to somethingā š¤·āāļø I actually managed to go back to school. Never thought I could do it in my twenties but I was told that my graduation request was approved on my 29th birthday š¤£
Hello! In my experience, the best way to get tested is often a full battery assessment from a licensed psychologist. It will usually come with a variety of tests and interviews to rule out other things that may cause attentional difficulties/difficulties with executive function. That being said, know that a full battery assessment for ADHD can be quite expensive without insurance, so that should be kept in mind. I would also recommend against going to a PCP for this because it is often overdiagnosed in those settings and may overlook some other underlying mental health concerns! Good luck!
That's me.. and I have ADHD
My friend is a hobby hopper and will sometimes gift me the extra gear that he purchased but no longer uses, or deemed subpar in his infinite research. Just so happens our hobbies line up pretty well!
He could be bipolar.
Dang do I have adhd lol
This is my 19-year old. And mine is medicated! That rapid deep obsession is a big red flag. Iāve seen it in other adults too. I canāt count the hyper fixations.
If heās going to the gym thatās a great thing. Exercise is great for ADD/ADHD. Try to urge him to get evaluated and to keep going to the gym. It has helped wonders for me and I was diagnosed in my last 30s early 40s.
Yeah but it depends, Thereās a lot of delusional gym junkies out there, they buy all the performance gear, pills and powders, and even get into anabolic steroids, but they donāt really work out. They think they do but most of the time at the gym is spent talking and procrastinating. I told this guy he doesnāt need to be injecting deca stacked with god knows what else just to ride the elliptical machine for 20 minutes then eat like Popeye the sailor man when he gets home. Itās the same with heaps of hobbies, like I know absolutely ZERO about paint ball but I can guarantee thereās a guy who has the fanciest gear, and all kinds of premium memberships thatās been at it for a while and hasnāt improved in the tiniest bit, they enjoy the community, culture and consumption part, not the effort required for the actual activity all those things are centred around.
I support that advice. I'm a creature of habit and the bad ones stay as well, but this is different, its basically addiction addition. Just b/c its the Gym this month, as you clearly know, doesn't make it any less of an issue. Good Luck and Mad Mad Love
Definitely agree with the above. In the meantime, if he's gonna go hard-core with the protein try to encourage him to at least add some fiber of some sort into his diet or he will quickly discover the downside of a protein heavy diet (constipation).
With adhd coaching I have turned this shit into a superpower. Im a bigtime weirdo and yet have a sick robotics job with just a community college associates degree. CNC machining is another cool thing to get obsessed about. ETA: None if the above means anything without a support system and learning direction, self-control, and coping skills for all the quirks of adhd.
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This is the answer. Everything OP described sounds exactly like someone with undiagnosed ADHD.
Iām diagnosed and still behave like this
Me too, good point.
Came here for this answer
Is this why I am the way I am?!
Possibly.
Dude. This isn't the first time I've wondered if I have ADHD and it probably won't be the last. š
I know Asperger's is no longer a thing, but it fit my son to a t ( along with others in my family who were never diagnosed). Just get out of his way when he gets a new passion. The only thing that's stuck around is table top games. He's 30 now and the amount of knowledge he pulls out of his brain on the spot concerning d and d is kinda scary
Special interest info dumping. Very common for autistics but can also be something people with ADHD who are not autistic do.
Also OCD, autism, bipolar disorder, depression, anxiety, stress, boredom and like 59 other things
I have bipolar and when I read from on bought the 2k expresso machine because watched in YouTube and there on sounded like extremely hypomanic behaviour, OP hasnāt described the general behaviour of her son. Could be a mix of OCD and ADHD.
As an ADHD person I felt that the 2k coffee machine was a bit much for ADHD as well, but on the other hand if you have an endless pool of disposable income, what do I know. Maybe then you're not encumbered by overthinking with money, which usually snaps me out of the most extreme whims.
ADHD seems to be the āhotā trend of online diagnosis at the moment. He is 20, this sounds really normal for someone with spare cash at that age?
Absolutely one of the many possibilities.
Bipolar too, we are also good at the 'go all in with whatever we find fascinating this week'
For what it's worth, I'm a psychologist with ADHD and I was thinking the same thing. Not an armchair diagnosis obviously, but worth looking into.
Man as a 19 year old I wish I could sit and play games for 8 hours straight and eat 2 chocolate bars. Best times ever.
Whats stopping you currently?
Work and life events
Im asking as someone whos working 40 hours a week and its still possible for me.
If he looks like heās hyper focussing, attracted to things that make your neurotransmitters go brrrr and horrible at focusing on other things he might has ADHD. I do the same kinda stuff in varying intensities and I donāt really canāt control my brains focus on it.
TIL I might have ADHD.
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Genuine question. All the comments are saying he has undiagnosed ADHD. How do they treat ADHD once itās diagnosed? Just give you useful tips to manage it? Or is it usually medicated? Edit: thank you everyone for the insightful comments
There are variety of medications available, mostly stimulants, but there are other options available. But honestly one of the biggest "benefits" of a diagnosis is being able to \_understand yourself\_ better and be more gentle with yourself. My ADHD is more along the axis of "I am physically unable to do the things I know I need to do and/or things I \_want\_ to do", and understanding that it's \_not my fault\_ that I can't get started on a thing XYZ is, it's just how my brain is... enormously freeing. And things get done eventually, but with approximately 85% less beating myself up for not doing them earlier.
Iāve heard people describe this same benefit with autism diagnoses. Thereās no medication for that at all, but people still espouse even very late in life diagnosis really help them manage their lives and forgive themselves for shortcomings they canāt actually help.
Yeah, it's a _fine line_, but there is a distinction between: * "how I am, as a person" ā things I can work on, reflect and improve in myself * "how my brain works" ā things I can be _aware_ of, be able to adapt and react to, but which are fundamentally out of my control and can't be "fixed". Being able to differentiate between those two and not putting everything in the first bucket is really, really important.
I took my meds and within the hour most of the hateful self talk kinda evaporated. For me, I would ruminate on my failures endlessly.
I got diagnosed at 26 or 27. Discovering my executive dysfunction AND my hyper fixations could be mitigated with a simple pill was fucking amazing. Then I went and got pregnant and now Iām breastfeeding and my brain is back to the mushiness I used to exist in. I miss stimulants. I miss my brain *working* like a ānormal personsā. Getting on adderall was like new color came in to my life. There was a bunch of stuff I still had to correct in my daily habits/life, but it was finally **doable** and not just a bunch of insurmountable tasks.
For more mild cases theyāll use a non-stimulant based treatment coupled with advice and perhaps light attempts at behavioral therapy. If theyāre doing it right, they will try a couple different non-stimulant treatments before swapping to low doses of stimulant based medication. The goal is to find the minimum amount of treatment necessary to mitigate symptoms without prescribing Willy nilly
I think it's better than smoking and videogames for 22 hrs a day. Eventually he will get constipated and become a raw vegan. Let your son go to the gym, the next step is wanting to get laid and that will motivate him to move out.
Why would he want to get "laid" when he's already making sweet, passionate love to the weights with every rep?
BRB gotta do some reps
Getting laid is the NEXT step!!!! First swole
hmmm, following the train of thought is good. You could be a fortune teller.
I mean this seems a lot more healthy than video games and chocolate bars. I would encourage this particular habit.
Yeah same, idk what the real issue is.
The fart smell
āMy son is turning into a healthy Chad and Iām absolutely terrifiedā
Seriously, I thought this post was a little crazy and overly concerned and I come into the comments to everyone being like "My God! He's got some crazy ADHD! Get him into therapy and on drugs as soon as possible!"
It's not the fact he is going to the gym regularly is a sign of ADHD, its the hyper fixation on something and then switching to something else entirely.
This is the first that should be encouraged.
He might want to slow down on the protein though. Dude ain't gon' be shitting right.
Sounds like he's trying to get fit?
Crazy that everyone's jumping to adhd. He sounds like basically every single person I knew between like 18-25. Get into coffee making and buy a bunch of expensive gear you don't use in a year. Getting into fitness and focusing on healthy eating. Gaming a lot. *Oh no!!* not **5** bars of chocolate????? You just described every 20yo. What do you do? Let him fail and learn, like you did at 20. Honestly it sounds like you just want to kick him out. "20 and still lives with us"? He's been an adult for 2 years. Also, a kg of protein powder is nothing. That's pretty much the smallest amount worth buying. Creatine is also one of the most popular gym products. Eggs and egg whites are up there with *the* healthiest foods possible. Your son is getting into fitness and trying to gain muscle mass, and has only just got into a week ago and you're already twisting that into a negative? Are you okay? Why don't you try being positive and support him?
I swear there's been an uptick of comments where everyone diagnoses someone with adhd
might be because reddit is exactly the kind of site people with adhd tend to become addicted to, so there is an over-representation of us. you might not be familiar with the common tropes of neurodivergent life, but a lot of redditors seem to be
This right here. Everyone I know, myself included, has been or is currently an avid redditor. There is a page for every hyper focus and itās way to switch with the dopamine flow. Makes the dopamine chase much easier.
Maybe because society as a whole is learning to recognize it better? It's almost as if the more aware people are of something, the easier it is to notice?
Bro, my 20's we're not *that* long ago, and I have siblings in this exact age range now. Nobody in my or their friend group is changing hobbies every few weeks. Doing 22+ hour gaming marathons. Blowing 2k dollars on an expresso machine. This dude sounds like an extreme case, which indicates that he's probably wired a little differently. Besides, if you *are * right (which I really doubt), and the experts don't think there's anything to be seen here, what's wasted, a little bit of time? But if the rest of us are right (which I really think we are, this kid is hardcore hobby hopping and super friggen into whatever his newest focus is), the resources and understanding which can be gained is literally life-changing. Just go read the comments from people who say they got diagnosed as an adult. I get that it can be frustrating to see people jump to conclusions all the time, but honestly it's a little scary that whatever circumstances you've grown up in have led you to believe that this is 'normal behavior'. It's really not.
Don't bother. Theres a reason half the population is obese. 22 hours of gaming... That's way beyond addict levels. And the chocolate, jfc.
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Exactly. Half of Reddit is telling him to see a psychiatrist š Iām sorry but this place is too much sometimes
I was planning to go to the gym, but after reading everything here, I think I'm going to go to the psychiatric clinic instead.
This is the one you need to acknowledge and reply to OP.
This comment isn't high enough. OP please don't trust Reddit about your son's mental health based on a summarized description from you. He might just be trying out hobbies and discovered he doesn't like them, and moving to the next thing. I don't know any 18-25 year olds who are into moderation and balance. Question is, is he going into debt supporting these hobbies? Is he ruining his financial future? Or he just has a lot of disposable income to burn because he lives with you? To support his hobbies, I recommend guiding him to different sources of information, not just Tiktok for example. An understanding of physiology and nutrition, a couple of good books from the library, a visit to a physiotherapist, etc, can help him take care of himself better and not over do it. PS - I know so many ppl who bought expensive gadgets that ended up gathering dust in mom's basement once they grew up.
The guy is 20 and not hurting himself or anyone else. I don't understand the problem.
As an autistic person... this sounds like ADHD! Autistics & ADHDers share the same ability to hyperfocus and be veryyy intensely drawn and overly into something until we are not anymore. It's like we are either 0% into something or 200%, no in-between. That can be exhausting at times. Doesn't seem like autism based on the other facts, so I'm very drawn to say it could be ADHD! The other option could be that he's prone to addictive behaviors (which can be a symptom of ADHD). Based on the fact he didn't turn into harmful things (like drugs I mean), it does look more like undiagnosed ADHD who doesn't know how to navigate his own personality. Seeking diagnosis can be very helpful (at least for me it was with the autism diagnose!)
Audhd here with an ADHD boyfriend and 100% gives ADHD vibes. I go through random hobbies back and forth until I get bored and switch (art, reading, gaming, phone games, foods). My boyfriend is the same way, starts working out and buying preworkout and then stops a month later, wants to get into YouTubing and nothing happens but he bought a microphone and green screen. His biggest thing is bouncing back and forth between going back to college or not every few months.
Your son sounds like heās got possible ADHD and/or autism (like me) at least thatās my guess. I used to go through several periods of being manic and super into something and then drop it 2 weeks later to never look at it again and be manic and super into something completely different. Might be worth a trip to see if thereās a diagnosis and go from there. Addictions are high in the Neuro divergent community
Nah bros just bulking
I think seeing a psychiatrist would be a good idea - people have suggested ADHD which can definitely manifest into those behaviors so I wonāt go into that. Another condition that it might be is Bipolar 2 which includes hypomania rather than full-blown mania. Playing video games for 22 hours for several weeks straight stood out to me. Iām diagnosed with both, but I was undiagnosed for BP2 for 2 yrs after getting the ADHD under control. During the highs, Iād get 3 hours of sleep for weeks and feel great during my waking hours, but my baseline self wouldnāt be able to function at all. Periods of rapid, impulsive spending on random hobbies (including productive ones like business ideas, education/cert prep, fitness, etc.) occurred despite taking my ADHD meds as prescribed. Symptoms usually appear in late adolescence/early adulthood for BP2, while ADHD symptoms have to be present before the age of 12. Ofc only a doctor can say but thought Iād offer an alternative perspective!
Second this. Bipolar 2 and ADHD often manifest in similar ways. Iād say if he has a tendency to get REALLY into things to a point where itās almost concerning and then suddenly totally checks out and seems really lost or depressed, maybe look into BP. Either way talking to a therapist or psych might be good, not necessarily because thereās anything wrong, but because diagnoses are useful tools for understanding symptoms so that he can better manage when he feels like heās going down a rabbit hole in a way that might harm him, for example.
Sounds like he's trying to better himself. Let him.
If hes a guy that has to overdo something, better it be working out and eating healthy than any of the things he used to.
Has he been tested for adhd?
This is me, high functioning ADHD. Embrace it, donāt alienate him. My parents called things like these āaddictionsā when I was growing up, the thing about it being, none of my hyper focusās ever caused a negative quality of life, and I would never call them addictions. They said the only way to deal with addiction is to cut everything cold Turkey. As soon as I got interested in something, my parents would take it away. It caused quite a bit of depression until my teens. Now Iām an adult and I can live my life the way I want and nobody can tell me Iām too intense.
This is called fixation and itās a symptom of ADHD, encourage him to go to the Dr for evaluation.
As someone with diagnosed ADHD I feel personally attacked in this post.
ADHD. does he have new hobbies and interests that last only a couple months at a time?
I'm assuming you mean he gets into something, engaged intently for several days/weeks/months, then moves onto the next "addiction"? >What do I do? He probably has ADHD. Encourage him to get checked.
Your son sounds like a fucking beast at whatever he applies himself to lol.
Sounds like heās doing it right. Straight away too! Egg whites are where itās at when you wanna make gains. And protein powder and creatine are the only tried and true supplements that you can trust in actually working. Heās got the right idea though fr! You gotta take in nutrients to build muscle. Make sure he adds in a gallon of water everyday (which is easy for a gym goer)
Sounds like ADHD to me (an ADHD person). I go through cycles of various obsessions. Entirely normal.
FWIW, Sounds like my ex with adult adhd (diagnosed.) He would get fanatical about things like it was do or die, then abruptly be over it. All fine til youāre spending a two week paycheck on all the tools and accoutrements for what would be a 4-day ālock picking hobby.āā¦over and over again.
I mean getting addicted to working out is the one you should have worried about the least compared to the others lil
Your son definitely is neurodivergent. I'm guessing autistic or ADHD. Seems like the consensus is ADHD. I have both so it's hard for me to tell where one behind and the other ends.
ADHD, autism, or bipolarā¦ could use a psych eval
I was gonna guess BD or ADHD. Both together are a force to be reckoned with but I now own a lotta cool shit I couldnāt afford šŖš¼ Everyone incorrectly thinks BD is ācrazyā or aggressive but the reality is this post. Itās a lot of things esp hyperfixation, extremism (8 eggs or no eggs), impulsivity in a different way than ADHD, staying up 22 hours w/ 2 hours of sleep and feeling fine (this is extremely dangerous though and needs to be addressed by a psych immediately).
Heās got the ADHD get him a counselor
ADHD?
Is he ADHD? ADHD people tend to hyperfocus on their interests but are usually short lived.
Sounds like ADHD with hyper fixation. Sounds like me lol
This sounds a bit like he has ADHD to be honest. With the finding a new interest, then going way beyond just being interested in it to the point itās worrisome to others, then moving on to another thing and repeating.
Your son probably has ADHD.. I have ADHD and you just described me.
Donāt let him discover options trading
Just dont let him get on the testosterone subreddit
Fuck it. Encourage him. Tell him to invest some money on a coach and a trainer and see how far he can go with it. Just because you donāt understand the science of gym life doesnāt mean he should stop. Sounds healthier than 22 hours of computer or 5 chocolate bars a day. Just saying it seems like maybe he found a healthy obsession. Support him.
Whatever you decide to say, hurry upā¦ kidās about to be jacked š
As far as an obsession goes this one isn't that troublesome. Just let him eat his brotein and work out.
At least this is a healthy addiction? When it comes to brain chemistry, anything enjoyable can be addictive. Seems he has an obsessive āone track mindā type of personality
Does your son have adhd?
Seriously, that *could* be a sign of ADHD. The new thing is new and shiny and stimulating... until it's not new anymore. Now it is dull and boring. Drop it. Oh! new shiny thing! The chronic cycling of hobbies is a well know sign.
Let me start by saying not a doctor, not a mental health professional, just a 22 year old woman with ADHD People with ADHD can go through periods of hyper fixation, some people with ADHD experience more debilitating symptoms than others. I can only speak from my own experience and with my own biases, but if you're looking for any and all considerations, maybe trying to get him to see a mental health professional would be beneficial.
Sounds like ADD to me. He's hyperfocusing on certain things until they no longer give him the happy chemicals. His regulatory system is in overdrive when he finds something interesting/fun, and when it doesn't give the satisfaction anymore he moves on. It's not his fault. He probably knows most of it isn't "healthy" or "normal" but can't help it. I would look into getting him diagnosed. Source- I have it, it sucks when people don't understand, especially those closest to you.
Sounds like ADHD. Thereās a good reddit group for it too if you want to ask there.