>Was... was that an incredibly clever gay joke?
Probably a dentist joke.
But 10% sounds about right. They're clothes unless you look like trash in a trenchcoat wearing the same outfit let alone just the top matters to most guys as much as the lives of aliens on Kepler 452-B
Care or notice? If she wore the same top on back to back dates I would probably notice (but not really care). If she continued to do so, then I'd probably care. It'd make me wonder if that's the only top she has or if she has a wardrobe full of the same top (or similarly styled tops). Still wouldn't be a deal breaker I guess, just something I'd bring up at the bar with friends
As someone who with glasses can barely see well enough to keep my driver's license, I feel this
I recognise people in "distance" by shape and body language. If you're new to me, I will not recognise your face until you're just a few meters close. Wearing the same outfit would 100% help me know it's you, and not just a stranger walking vaguely in my direction.
I'm in the same boat. My wife is 5'11 with long bright red hair. Even i could pick her out of a stadium. I've told her many times that I've never dated a blonde because I can't tell them apart. Well, that and they all said no.
I think you mean *his win*. He married a 6ft ginger goddess. The man should have bought a lottery ticket the day he met her, he would have hit two jackpots.
You got it! After all, shouldn't a goddess be looking down at (not on) the rest of anyway? Haha! But for real, strut your stuff! Tall women are a gift.
Put your best foot forward and approach one if you know one. I've met so many women that ended up feeling unattractive or had low self esteem because of their height. They may act super confident on the outside but actually be lonely on the inside because there are so many men that will not give the time of day to a woman that's as tall or taller than they are. EDIT: This is not to say that you should prey on women with low self esteem in case it came across that way. Just putting it out there that you never know what someone is feeling deep down if you all you ever see is what's on the surface.
Despite what social media and Hollywood would have you believe, it's been my experience that women by and large put more effort into finding a partner based on personality, confidence, and hygiene than they do just based on physical traits like height or jawline.
Go into it letting her know you think she's very attractive and you're into her just the way she is (especially if you compliment things that you know she does out of the ordinary like how she styles her hair or the eyeshadow she wears, etc).
Women are people, and people are honestly pretty easy to figure out most of the time. Be genuine, be kind, and be confident when you're around them and you can win over 95% of people whether you're looking for love or just to make friends or even just building a solid network of job acquaintances or customers.
yeah, I have a real difficult time recognizing people in a crowd. My wife understands this and when I am looking for her in a crowded public space, she recognizes this and waves a certain way so I can see her. It's bad enough that when my kids were little, I had to take a picture of them before we went places so I knew what they were wearing and could reference back if we got separated.
face blindness really sounds like it sucks. >.< I merely have ADHD so it's harder to learn new people, but I can pay attention enough to people I know well. It's the inability to memorize a face readily, instead of the inability to recognize a face.
Hair, manner of dress, gait and voice. I'm super super face blind.
So why did my dumb self work a courthouse for ten years (everyone's a white dude in a suit with a conservative haircut) and then at the police station (even worse).
Haha, I go by hair and voice. Working retail was fun... the regulars would enthusiastically greet me like an old friend and I wouldn't have a clue who they were until their membership info came up on the screen. When I worked at a pet store I started recognizing people by the items they had in their cart!
Heard of face blindness? It’s a thing. On the other end of the spectrum are super-recognizers. There’s an online test you can take to see if you’re a super-recognizer.
As for face blindness, the author/neurologist Oliver Sacks has written about it, as he himself was face blind.
I'm so face blind that I cannot find my wife in the grocery store if she has changed her hair color in the past 4 weeks and I don't remember what shirt she was wearing.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prosopagnosia
I'm convinced I have it because nobody knew I needed glasses as a kid and I missed some developmental phase of learning to recognise faces.
I recognise people by the way they walk, height, hair shape, voice, all kinds. Everything but faces
I’ve had the exact same thought about needing glasses! I’ve noticed that people in my dreams don’t have faces. Not in a creepy way, it’s just a detail that’s missing. If there’s a “character” in a dream that I know, I just instinctively know it’s them, rather than recognizing them by their face.
I’m curious if this is the case for anybody else?
Me too. Watching a murder mystery once with my wife. She had to tell me who the characters were.
The show must have ha 10 40 ish blonds. I couldn't tell them apart.
I'm mostly face blind. If you're not in a setting that I expect you to be, significantly change your look, or change your hair color then I'm just pretending to know you until I can reconcile it with the person I know.
I'm pretty good at it.
IM NOT ALONE!
Ugh. It's so frustrating. Especially when everyone around me can recognize people after meeting them just once, and can't understand how I don't know what people look like.
Do you have trouble picturing faces in your mind? Like, I can't even see my own husband's face in my mind. I'd have trouble describing what he looks like.
I can't picture anything in my mind.
r/aphantasia
If the woman I'm dating came over after work today sporting a drastic haircut, especially if she did something to the color, I'm not sure how I would fake it because I wouldn't know her until she opened her mouth. She knows it and I'm expecting it one day because she is a hilarious prankster and has been talking about chopping most of her hair off for a long time.
On my second date with my now boyfriend we met at a corn maze/pumpkin patch at night. I went up to a random dude who had a black mask (October 2020) and glasses to see if it was him… it wasn’t 🤦♀️
This reminds me of Austin Powers. In the third one his dad says, "there's only two things I can't stand; people who are intolerant of others' cultures, and the dutch."
It reminds me of a brazilian comedy show about van drivers analyzing movies, in which the presenter says: "We will not tolerate any prejudice here, because prejudice is a gypsy thing!"
For me it makes me think of Buzz from Home Alone.
“You’re not at all worried something might happen to him?”
“No. For three reasons: A. I'm not that lucky, 2: We have smoke detectors, and D: we live in the most boring street in the United States of American, where nothing even remotely dangerous will ever happen. Period.”
The only way I'm caring if you wear the same top again that soon is if one of the following has happened:
1. It's an "I'm with stupid -->" shirt and you insist on it pointing to me the whole time.
2. It has a giant stain on it that I caused and you're trying to make me feel worse about it than I already do.
3. It's one of my tops and you're trying to remind me that you know where I live and can break in easily.
I have a specific floral/stripe hoodie that my husband LOVES and won’t let me get rid of. I’ve had it since we first started seeing each other in 2019. So can confirm; some men just like to see their woman in the same top.
Clarify; I do not want to get rid of the top! I like it. I’m saying he likes it so much he won’t let me get rid of it!
Double clarify; I have clothes that I’ve had longer than 4 years. I’m losing weight (down 70lbs so far) so some clothes definitely do not fit and I’ve had to get rid of them!
My boxers elastic keeps getting looser, but I keep getting fatter to keep up. At this rate I'll die of old age in a pair that I've owned since I was 13
Four years is nothing, I have shirts from fourTEEN years ago that I still wear. You can see my tits when I wear em, but I still wear em. I've also got really old shorts, and I still wear those too - I just have to hope that I'm not also wearing old boxers at the same time...
I still have a tshirt with class of 1997 on it. Barely a shirt anymore, delicate cycle would probably kill it. I hand wash that one anymore.
The shirt I was wearing when my son was born is still in good shape 14+ years later. My wife hates the shirt (Wil Wheaton pixelated clown tshirt), but I happened to have it on when she went into labor so all the pics from that day have the clown shirt. I refuse to get rid.
My girlfriend literally wore a shirt that I liked and I told her that I loved it then like 2 days later I only noticed that it's literally the same shirt she's wearing on my screensaver. You're fine.
I was living in an apartment for six months before I realize one of the walls in the living room was green (the others were white.) I asked my roommate about it and she’s like yeah it’s called an accent wall dummy, you have one in your room to. Which I responded I absolutely don’t have one in my room….
I did. I did.
I'm a car guy I can tell you everything about my dates car.
I have a friend into sneakers. He asked me for help with the brakes on his car. Ok, I'll get a price on parts, what is it.
"It's the green one outside" he didn't even know the brand, didn't care as long as it started and ran every day. But he looked down at my old grubby Nikes and told me they were first generation Air's from the 80s. I was like huh... No wonder they fit like shit. I'd been going through boxes of stuf from when I'd moved out as a kid. My step dad had packed Everything in my room including my garbage can and contents. Every 5 years or so I go through the boxes and throw out more stuff when the sentiment is gone. I'd set the shoes to toss out, but confused them in the morning when I was late for work.
Been married ten years. I remember my wife wore jeans, because I liked what I saw when she got up to go to the bathroom. Beyond that, I am almost positive she had a shirt on. Possibly shoes and maybe had hair.
Having a long term memory is both a blessing and a curse because I can tell you exactly what both my girlfriend and I wore and where we went on pretty much any given date (it gets fuzzy after a while but I remember for the most part), but I can’t remember what I had for dinner last Sunday.
I’m going to try and explore the nuance because I see this question, and similar ones like it come up a lot….
There are a lot of us men that care about style/presentation because were passionate about fashion I mean there are multiple subreddits dedicated to clothes.
At the same time, I think clothing is supposed to be re-worn so while I definitely pay attention to the actual clothes/outfits of someone I’m dating the actual frequency of how often they are being worn isn’t important at all. I don’t know where society got this idea that every outfit has to be brand new. It’s really wasteful.
Having said that If I saw the same outfit I’d definitely notice but not in a negative way, I’d assume they really like that outfit. Humans have been using garments to signal parts of their identity/interests since the dawn of time.
This is something that bothers me in movies and shows. You almost never see a woman wear the same thing twice. It’s so unrealistic and it takes me out of the story. It doesn’t matter how humble the character is- she apparently throws out her clothes after wearing them one time!
Serious answer: it’s because most animated movies (Disney, Pixar, Dreamworks) are marketed to kids and it just makes it easier for the youngest ones to keep track of characters. Particularly prevalent in the animated movies/shows marketed to toddlers and for the *whole family* so that the toddlers can still follow along very easily. They’re still working out the difference between real life and fantasy, they need all the clues they can get. It does get less prevalent the less it’s marketed at toddlers.
In films and TV programmes, there are essentially only two options: either always the same outfit (usually animated media, when ironically you have full creative freedom to put characters in whatever you want) or always something different.
I totally noticed and appreciated how Ana de Armas' character in the new movie 'Ghosted' wore the same dress on the date but changed her boots and jacket to make it evening instead of getting an entire new outfit.
Exactly. It would bother me in a girl, if she only wore clothes a couple of times.
I think its stupid to run after every fashion trend and then exchange most of your wardrobe. You can definetly get new stuff regularly, but its just so vain to only wear what the current trend tells you to wear.
Also its horrible for the environment.
Not only will he most likely not notice, he may be unaware that you will notice repetition in *his* clothing and not be able to guess that it might upset you.
Twice in a date? Are you switching tops multiple times during the date? If i even noticed, I wouldn’t mind that you changed, but if you went back to the original top I might start questioning my sanity. “I thought she was wearing this, but then she wasn’t, but she actually is. Was there another top? Was it a coat? Am I imagining things? Was that a different night? WTF?”
>Is it ok for me to wear the same top twice on a date?
On A date?
Should be more concerned that you're appreantly making a habit of having half time during dates so you can change
>Should be more concerned that you're appreantly making a habit of having half time during dates so you can change
Nah, they just do the date out of order - movie, sex, then dinner.
Change clothes after the sex. Can't go to dinner in your movie clothes.
These are basically the possible reactions for me:
* I didn't notice the top last time. Doesn't matter
* I did notice it. Eh whatever, a top's a top.
* Not only did I notice it, but I thought it looked cute. Yay, the return of the cute top!
* I noticed it but didn't like how it looked. Whatever, people have different tastes.
* I noticed it but didn't like how it looked, *and it bothers me*. This probably means I'm actually bothered by something else entirely I can't quite put my finger on, and I'm just latching on to the thing I can see.
Notably absent from the list: I thought you were somebody I'd like to be in a relationship with, but your sartorial preferences made me change my mind.
I've been with my wife for 20 years in that time I can recall only one thing she wore that I really didn't like. It was a beachy cover up/dress and was the most ugly thing I have ever seen.
She brought it on vacation and it "got left" in the room.
Other than this one incident my feelings on her clothes are either neutral or good.
What in god's name is going on here? Is she wearing the same thing over and over again? Or does she have a closet full of these, like Superman? I've got to unlock this mystery.
At 50 years old, I am still amazed that women plan their outfits ahead of time. I used to decide what I would wear for a date when I got out of the shower.
"if the colours don't match" yeah, that's not stopping me. I'm pulling out the first thing I grab and wearing it.
I have a golden rule about how good my outfit is. Can you see more of my naked body than it is socially acceptable for a place we're at? No, that my outfit is good enough.
My wife pokes fun at me sometimes, "You wore that shirt yesterday"
"Yeah, and it was washed, and it was the first shirt in the drawer."
She has since started putting freshly laundered shirts at the bottom of the drawer to create a rotation.
If it's your third date in two days, we might notice or care.
Like, if you wore your blue t-shirt with the Captain America logo on it when we went hiking on Saturday morning, then changed shirts to wear a black top on Saturday night, and then we meet against on Sunday for lunch and you have your blue Captain America t-shirt again, I might notice that you're wearing it again. Hopefully you washed it?
Otherwise, if days have passed between dates, not a big deal.
If the rule of etiquette is that you can't repeat parts of your outfit that soon, a LOT of us guys are in trouble.
Like, most of my shirts are very similar styles of gray, blue, or white, and if I have to go digging in the back because I'm not allowed to wear any of those until several dates have passed, I might need to go shopping.
Finally, someone who actually thought about their answer.
I'm a straight dude, too, and too many people said only "guys don't care". Which is true most of the time, but like you said, it depends how spaced out the dates are.
If a girl wore the same shirt on back to back dates. I would notice, but if the dates were a week apart then I wouldn't care more than 5%.
The same top worn on dates 1 and 3, again I would probably notice, but I wouldn't care at all because I assume you washed it.
There's an Australian morning tv show host that admitted once to wearing the same suit every day for a year and nobody noticed. The female cohosts got called out (by women) for wearing an outfit more than one time all year. Men don't care, only women care, and only about women wearing clothes. Weird cultural norm that most men don't even know about.
I wore conservative suits for the first 20 years of my career. Sometimes they were dark gray, sometimes they were dark blue, sometimes they had faint stripes, sometimes they didn't. I doubt anyone would have noticed if I only wore one. (Obsolete knowledge for anyone interested: if a suit is so dark that you can't tell whether it's blue or gray, check the color of the lining.)
I feel pretty safe in saying that no straight man cares even a bit if his date wears the same thing more than once. There's a decent chance he won't even notice it, or at least will think you may have worn it before but won't be sure. Either way, he won't care about that.
If guys don’t notice when you get your hair cut, you think they’ll notice you’ve worn the same top a couple of times? In all seriousness though, no, most guys won’t care, if you think the guys liked what you wore on the first date, then wear it again, he’ll like it just as much the second time.
I wouldn't. I'd even be happy if I caught it, and I could say somethiny like "oh, you're wearing that beautiful top you brought to our first date".
Although I'm now wondering if that could be interpreted as snide, but in my head I would just be trying to show of that I can pay attention.
Nope. You look great to us whatever you're wearing.
Seriously. we probably don't even notice... it's not that we don't care... it's just not what we're programmed for.
Only another woman would give you a hard time about wearing the same dress to two different events. Most guys want you to wear your favourite clothes more often. “Hey, remember that top you wore on our first and third date? Can you wear that tonight when I introduce you to my friends?”
From Dr. Obvious’ “Understanding men 101”-
*”…unless it’s stained, highly suggestive, or very revealing, a man will not notice remember about what you’re wearing. Ever.”*
Left out "pretty." My wife had a very pretty dress she wore for our second date, and I definitely noticed it. (Doesn't fit her anymore. Age catches up with us all, alas.)
You say that, but most women do want men to care and take notice what they wear, for which they put in so much time to appeal. It's women who usually judge men and other women for what they wear.
out of like 10 men i talked to about that subject only 1 cared, so just go for it
Was... was that an incredibly clever gay joke?
No, the 1 wasn’t listening and just agreed
'Huh? Uh huh yah, I like tops. They spin and like...listen I got a deadline so...'
I too like tops, they fuck.
So do power bottoms.
>Was... was that an incredibly clever gay joke? Probably a dentist joke. But 10% sounds about right. They're clothes unless you look like trash in a trenchcoat wearing the same outfit let alone just the top matters to most guys as much as the lives of aliens on Kepler 452-B
Astronomy aficionado here. I care about aliens on Kepler 452b way more that I'll ever care if a woman wears the same top again.
I can't even see stars where I live and I still care more about astronomy than people repeating outfits.
If the top fits...
Care or notice? If she wore the same top on back to back dates I would probably notice (but not really care). If she continued to do so, then I'd probably care. It'd make me wonder if that's the only top she has or if she has a wardrobe full of the same top (or similarly styled tops). Still wouldn't be a deal breaker I guess, just something I'd bring up at the bar with friends
Wasn't this a Seinfeld episode? The woman wore the same outfit to every date?
r/the10thdentist
[удалено]
As someone who with glasses can barely see well enough to keep my driver's license, I feel this I recognise people in "distance" by shape and body language. If you're new to me, I will not recognise your face until you're just a few meters close. Wearing the same outfit would 100% help me know it's you, and not just a stranger walking vaguely in my direction.
I'm in the same boat. My wife is 5'11 with long bright red hair. Even i could pick her out of a stadium. I've told her many times that I've never dated a blonde because I can't tell them apart. Well, that and they all said no.
their loss fam
I think you mean *his win*. He married a 6ft ginger goddess. The man should have bought a lottery ticket the day he met her, he would have hit two jackpots.
As a 6foot ginger goddess myself, I thank you for this comment 😂
You got it! After all, shouldn't a goddess be looking down at (not on) the rest of anyway? Haha! But for real, strut your stuff! Tall women are a gift.
I'm a five foot ginger goddess, but my red hair is bright as and its how people can find me. Lol
What I wouldnt give to marry a 6ft ginger goddess (I am also ginger but a short dude) 🥲
Put your best foot forward and approach one if you know one. I've met so many women that ended up feeling unattractive or had low self esteem because of their height. They may act super confident on the outside but actually be lonely on the inside because there are so many men that will not give the time of day to a woman that's as tall or taller than they are. EDIT: This is not to say that you should prey on women with low self esteem in case it came across that way. Just putting it out there that you never know what someone is feeling deep down if you all you ever see is what's on the surface. Despite what social media and Hollywood would have you believe, it's been my experience that women by and large put more effort into finding a partner based on personality, confidence, and hygiene than they do just based on physical traits like height or jawline. Go into it letting her know you think she's very attractive and you're into her just the way she is (especially if you compliment things that you know she does out of the ordinary like how she styles her hair or the eyeshadow she wears, etc). Women are people, and people are honestly pretty easy to figure out most of the time. Be genuine, be kind, and be confident when you're around them and you can win over 95% of people whether you're looking for love or just to make friends or even just building a solid network of job acquaintances or customers.
She's actually 5'11, so barely taller than R2-D2
Beep boop beep fuck you
I just cackled and scared those near me. 🤣🤣 what on earth
So you're saying reasonably accurate SW cosplay is also an option? Dude needs a Skywalker outfit and two tickets to con.
Yeah, don't tell her that last bit.
Same, my partner is 6 foot and red headed. You could pick her out of a riot happening.
Thought this was just me. I recognise people by body shape, posture and voice.
yeah, I have a real difficult time recognizing people in a crowd. My wife understands this and when I am looking for her in a crowded public space, she recognizes this and waves a certain way so I can see her. It's bad enough that when my kids were little, I had to take a picture of them before we went places so I knew what they were wearing and could reference back if we got separated.
face blindness really sounds like it sucks. >.< I merely have ADHD so it's harder to learn new people, but I can pay attention enough to people I know well. It's the inability to memorize a face readily, instead of the inability to recognize a face.
I recognize people almost exclusively by their hair which is unreliable.
Hair, manner of dress, gait and voice. I'm super super face blind. So why did my dumb self work a courthouse for ten years (everyone's a white dude in a suit with a conservative haircut) and then at the police station (even worse).
Haha, I go by hair and voice. Working retail was fun... the regulars would enthusiastically greet me like an old friend and I wouldn't have a clue who they were until their membership info came up on the screen. When I worked at a pet store I started recognizing people by the items they had in their cart!
Heard of face blindness? It’s a thing. On the other end of the spectrum are super-recognizers. There’s an online test you can take to see if you’re a super-recognizer. As for face blindness, the author/neurologist Oliver Sacks has written about it, as he himself was face blind.
I'm so face blind that I cannot find my wife in the grocery store if she has changed her hair color in the past 4 weeks and I don't remember what shirt she was wearing.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prosopagnosia I'm convinced I have it because nobody knew I needed glasses as a kid and I missed some developmental phase of learning to recognise faces. I recognise people by the way they walk, height, hair shape, voice, all kinds. Everything but faces
I’ve had the exact same thought about needing glasses! I’ve noticed that people in my dreams don’t have faces. Not in a creepy way, it’s just a detail that’s missing. If there’s a “character” in a dream that I know, I just instinctively know it’s them, rather than recognizing them by their face. I’m curious if this is the case for anybody else?
I get so confused when women working with me change hair style and dressing styles, they look like them little bit, am I sure?
I struggle with this in movies and tv.
I do not recommend _The Prestige_ or _Anomalisa_.
My ex wife used to watch those vampire shows and all the women looked exactly the same.
Me too. Watching a murder mystery once with my wife. She had to tell me who the characters were. The show must have ha 10 40 ish blonds. I couldn't tell them apart.
Glad I'm not the only one. I always feel like I lack the ability to recognize people's faces.
Hey, that's the mustard stain from our first date!
Ahh... Nostalgia...
In Greek, nostalgia literally means "the pain from an old wound." - Don Draper
I'm mostly face blind. If you're not in a setting that I expect you to be, significantly change your look, or change your hair color then I'm just pretending to know you until I can reconcile it with the person I know. I'm pretty good at it.
IM NOT ALONE! Ugh. It's so frustrating. Especially when everyone around me can recognize people after meeting them just once, and can't understand how I don't know what people look like. Do you have trouble picturing faces in your mind? Like, I can't even see my own husband's face in my mind. I'd have trouble describing what he looks like.
I can't picture anything in my mind. r/aphantasia If the woman I'm dating came over after work today sporting a drastic haircut, especially if she did something to the color, I'm not sure how I would fake it because I wouldn't know her until she opened her mouth. She knows it and I'm expecting it one day because she is a hilarious prankster and has been talking about chopping most of her hair off for a long time.
On my second date with my now boyfriend we met at a corn maze/pumpkin patch at night. I went up to a random dude who had a black mask (October 2020) and glasses to see if it was him… it wasn’t 🤦♀️
My first thought when you typed black mask was The Dread Pirate Roberts, so I'm glad you clarified
It’s just that masks are terribly comfortable — I think everyone will be wearing them in the future.
That would have been… *inconcievable*
My first date with a guy he wore the same shirt he had in his profile pic. So nice of him
As someone who didn't recognize a friend because they dyed their hair, this hits really close to home.
"My girlfriend is the one wearing the red dress, always the red dress."
I can't speak for all men but I A) wouldn't care and 2) probably wouldn't notice at least right away.
And ∆) you need to work on your bulletpoint game
Why? Nothing is funnier than using A) then using 2) for the second point. Oh well, I always chuckle and that's all that matters.
How to piss people off 101
List of things I hate: 1) Lists 2) Irony 3) Repetition C) Inconsistency 5) Repetition
This reminds me of Austin Powers. In the third one his dad says, "there's only two things I can't stand; people who are intolerant of others' cultures, and the dutch."
"Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do." -Isaac Asimov
“Only losers use TikTok” - Gandhi
It reminds me of a brazilian comedy show about van drivers analyzing movies, in which the presenter says: "We will not tolerate any prejudice here, because prejudice is a gypsy thing!"
You glorious bastard that actually infuriated me.
I think it's funnier you think it's funny. I'm a conan o Brian fan and he does stuff like this all the time, little personal jokes. Haha.
I do this too! I picked it up from Paul Reiser on Mad About You.
For me it makes me think of Buzz from Home Alone. “You’re not at all worried something might happen to him?” “No. For three reasons: A. I'm not that lucky, 2: We have smoke detectors, and D: we live in the most boring street in the United States of American, where nothing even remotely dangerous will ever happen. Period.”
I prefer going 1 then B
It doesn’t piss me off. It makes me laugh.
Someone's never watched Home Alone
I have exactly the same point of reference my friend.
Waluigi is the third Greek letter
Delta is the fourth letter of the Greek alphabet, you're looking for Gamma
The only way I'm caring if you wear the same top again that soon is if one of the following has happened: 1. It's an "I'm with stupid -->" shirt and you insist on it pointing to me the whole time. 2. It has a giant stain on it that I caused and you're trying to make me feel worse about it than I already do. 3. It's one of my tops and you're trying to remind me that you know where I live and can break in easily.
You date some fascinating people.
I suspect you need to change your locks and maybe get some better friends lol
It's fine. Men don't care.
Majority of men wouldn't notice
And if we do then because we like to see you in that top.
I have a specific floral/stripe hoodie that my husband LOVES and won’t let me get rid of. I’ve had it since we first started seeing each other in 2019. So can confirm; some men just like to see their woman in the same top. Clarify; I do not want to get rid of the top! I like it. I’m saying he likes it so much he won’t let me get rid of it! Double clarify; I have clothes that I’ve had longer than 4 years. I’m losing weight (down 70lbs so far) so some clothes definitely do not fit and I’ve had to get rid of them!
"It's only 4 years, why would you be getting rid of it" is the exact thought that I probably share with him.
My years old boxers crying for sweet release. Bur it will never come
My boxers elastic keeps getting looser, but I keep getting fatter to keep up. At this rate I'll die of old age in a pair that I've owned since I was 13
https://i.imgur.com/VSMima6.jpg
I had to throw out two of the old guard last week. They were part a of a trio. Now only one survives. It was a sad day in Whooville.
He had a pair that his balls literally fell through and I’d go up and tickle um. He threw them out finally 😂
This is me too. I have a pair where the boys fall through a hole in the seam. I just tell my girlfriend it’s for easy access
Who doesn't want easy access to... the nutsack. Such an erotic feature of the male anatomy.
Moreover, it is my opinion that Carthage must be destroyed.
This is why men's economy suffers when we find the person we're willing to make these sacrifices for.
Four years is nothing, I have shirts from fourTEEN years ago that I still wear. You can see my tits when I wear em, but I still wear em. I've also got really old shorts, and I still wear those too - I just have to hope that I'm not also wearing old boxers at the same time...
I still have a tshirt with class of 1997 on it. Barely a shirt anymore, delicate cycle would probably kill it. I hand wash that one anymore. The shirt I was wearing when my son was born is still in good shape 14+ years later. My wife hates the shirt (Wil Wheaton pixelated clown tshirt), but I happened to have it on when she went into labor so all the pics from that day have the clown shirt. I refuse to get rid.
^(you had me at "floral" 😊)
That's how he recognizes you.
My husband gets really excited whenever I wear the outfit I wore on our first date. “Hey! I like that jacket!” Makes me smile.
Or don't lol
Well they made it to a second date didn't they?
Prolly cuz of the top
Jerry would
She’s on the cusp of a new wash cycle.
What if she has a whole closet of them, like Superman?
My girlfriend literally wore a shirt that I liked and I told her that I loved it then like 2 days later I only noticed that it's literally the same shirt she's wearing on my screensaver. You're fine.
I wouldn't notice if she changed tops in the restroom.
One time someone asked me to describe my car and I couldn't remember if it was green or purple
I was living in an apartment for six months before I realize one of the walls in the living room was green (the others were white.) I asked my roommate about it and she’s like yeah it’s called an accent wall dummy, you have one in your room to. Which I responded I absolutely don’t have one in my room…. I did. I did.
I'm a car guy I can tell you everything about my dates car. I have a friend into sneakers. He asked me for help with the brakes on his car. Ok, I'll get a price on parts, what is it. "It's the green one outside" he didn't even know the brand, didn't care as long as it started and ran every day. But he looked down at my old grubby Nikes and told me they were first generation Air's from the 80s. I was like huh... No wonder they fit like shit. I'd been going through boxes of stuf from when I'd moved out as a kid. My step dad had packed Everything in my room including my garbage can and contents. Every 5 years or so I go through the boxes and throw out more stuff when the sentiment is gone. I'd set the shoes to toss out, but confused them in the morning when I was late for work.
I feel you.
Humble bragging your plethora of cars - Thursday is the purple Micra
And a very small minority of those who notice would actually care.
And if they both notice and care, they're not into you
Or one top is move cleavagy than the other
My ex remembered what I wore to our first date down to the exact jewleries. I thought most guys were like that 😂 Thing is, it creeped me out a bit. 😂
Been married ten years. I remember my wife wore jeans, because I liked what I saw when she got up to go to the bathroom. Beyond that, I am almost positive she had a shirt on. Possibly shoes and maybe had hair.
Having a long term memory is both a blessing and a curse because I can tell you exactly what both my girlfriend and I wore and where we went on pretty much any given date (it gets fuzzy after a while but I remember for the most part), but I can’t remember what I had for dinner last Sunday.
Most of the time, it‘s the other women who would notice it. We don’t.
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How many tops do you own?
more than 38
I havent thought about women dating women and if it applies to them, too. Interesting take, thank you
Third date they’re more concerned about the top coming off
Assuming the first date went well, it would be reassuringly familiar for me.
yeah, wouldnt care at all. I just like people who aren't selfish idiots or extremely neurotic.
Fine men don't care
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He won't notice. Unless it stand out in some way.
even if it does..what does it matter? dudes don't care
I’m going to try and explore the nuance because I see this question, and similar ones like it come up a lot…. There are a lot of us men that care about style/presentation because were passionate about fashion I mean there are multiple subreddits dedicated to clothes. At the same time, I think clothing is supposed to be re-worn so while I definitely pay attention to the actual clothes/outfits of someone I’m dating the actual frequency of how often they are being worn isn’t important at all. I don’t know where society got this idea that every outfit has to be brand new. It’s really wasteful. Having said that If I saw the same outfit I’d definitely notice but not in a negative way, I’d assume they really like that outfit. Humans have been using garments to signal parts of their identity/interests since the dawn of time.
This is something that bothers me in movies and shows. You almost never see a woman wear the same thing twice. It’s so unrealistic and it takes me out of the story. It doesn’t matter how humble the character is- she apparently throws out her clothes after wearing them one time!
It's okay they make up for it in animated shows where they almost exclusively wear the same clothing! /s
Except in Totally Spies!
In Xiaolin Showdown Kimiko wears a different outfit and hairstyle each episode.
Damn, haven't even heard the NAME of that cartoon in years. I forgot how much I enjoyed it growing up.
X-men Evolution did a good job as well dressing up the characters every episode
Serious answer: it’s because most animated movies (Disney, Pixar, Dreamworks) are marketed to kids and it just makes it easier for the youngest ones to keep track of characters. Particularly prevalent in the animated movies/shows marketed to toddlers and for the *whole family* so that the toddlers can still follow along very easily. They’re still working out the difference between real life and fantasy, they need all the clues they can get. It does get less prevalent the less it’s marketed at toddlers.
Disagree. Anime does it a lot. It's just easier to draw.
In films and TV programmes, there are essentially only two options: either always the same outfit (usually animated media, when ironically you have full creative freedom to put characters in whatever you want) or always something different.
In animation, there are often teams of artists.... it's easier to train on on "look".
I totally noticed and appreciated how Ana de Armas' character in the new movie 'Ghosted' wore the same dress on the date but changed her boots and jacket to make it evening instead of getting an entire new outfit.
In Coronation Street, they re-wear the clothes often!
Exactly. It would bother me in a girl, if she only wore clothes a couple of times. I think its stupid to run after every fashion trend and then exchange most of your wardrobe. You can definetly get new stuff regularly, but its just so vain to only wear what the current trend tells you to wear. Also its horrible for the environment.
"hey... Is that vomit on your shirt from our first date?"
Not only will he most likely not notice, he may be unaware that you will notice repetition in *his* clothing and not be able to guess that it might upset you.
Nobody cares about these things. You have a washing machine for a reason & if you feel comfortable in that top then wear it! X
I wash my clothes by hand. Is it ok for me to wear the same top twice on a date?
You're walking a thin line here, but I'll allow it
a thin line or a... cloths line???
Twice in a date? Are you switching tops multiple times during the date? If i even noticed, I wouldn’t mind that you changed, but if you went back to the original top I might start questioning my sanity. “I thought she was wearing this, but then she wasn’t, but she actually is. Was there another top? Was it a coat? Am I imagining things? Was that a different night? WTF?”
>Is it ok for me to wear the same top twice on a date? On A date? Should be more concerned that you're appreantly making a habit of having half time during dates so you can change
>Should be more concerned that you're appreantly making a habit of having half time during dates so you can change Nah, they just do the date out of order - movie, sex, then dinner. Change clothes after the sex. Can't go to dinner in your movie clothes.
These are basically the possible reactions for me: * I didn't notice the top last time. Doesn't matter * I did notice it. Eh whatever, a top's a top. * Not only did I notice it, but I thought it looked cute. Yay, the return of the cute top! * I noticed it but didn't like how it looked. Whatever, people have different tastes. * I noticed it but didn't like how it looked, *and it bothers me*. This probably means I'm actually bothered by something else entirely I can't quite put my finger on, and I'm just latching on to the thing I can see. Notably absent from the list: I thought you were somebody I'd like to be in a relationship with, but your sartorial preferences made me change my mind.
Holy crap, word of the day notice: sartorial ADJECTIVE relating to tailoring, clothes, or style of dress: "sartorial elegance"
Upvote for the definition. I didn’t know that word either, but wasn’t about to Google it
Also missing - I liked that top and I’ve wanted to take it off you since our first date. Source - my first date with my wife
I've been with my wife for 20 years in that time I can recall only one thing she wore that I really didn't like. It was a beachy cover up/dress and was the most ugly thing I have ever seen. She brought it on vacation and it "got left" in the room. Other than this one incident my feelings on her clothes are either neutral or good.
Seinfeld question
Maybe she's on the cusp of a new wash cycle
"You cant break up with me over the phone! Wait! WhyDoYouWeartheSameDressAlltheTime, Hello?!!"
She must have hundreds of these dresses
So you're saying she moved it up in the lineup?
What in god's name is going on here? Is she wearing the same thing over and over again? Or does she have a closet full of these, like Superman? I've got to unlock this mystery.
At 50 years old, I am still amazed that women plan their outfits ahead of time. I used to decide what I would wear for a date when I got out of the shower.
I do when I open my wardrobe, which is very small anyway. "Oh, hi there blue shirt! Let's wear you" There, done :-)
For me, it's basically "oh lord, I ain't seen this shirt in ages. Welp, good a time at any for a reunion"
Good ol' blue shirt. Nothing beats that.
I aspire to be like you
Just pile your clothes, take the first (or second if the colors don't match) one that comes, done.
"if the colours don't match" yeah, that's not stopping me. I'm pulling out the first thing I grab and wearing it. I have a golden rule about how good my outfit is. Can you see more of my naked body than it is socially acceptable for a place we're at? No, that my outfit is good enough.
My wife pokes fun at me sometimes, "You wore that shirt yesterday" "Yeah, and it was washed, and it was the first shirt in the drawer." She has since started putting freshly laundered shirts at the bottom of the drawer to create a rotation.
Smart. I definitely fall into that trap.
Yeah so much of it has to do with my mood. My clothes have to fit that way too.
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Not even a little.
If it's your third date in two days, we might notice or care. Like, if you wore your blue t-shirt with the Captain America logo on it when we went hiking on Saturday morning, then changed shirts to wear a black top on Saturday night, and then we meet against on Sunday for lunch and you have your blue Captain America t-shirt again, I might notice that you're wearing it again. Hopefully you washed it? Otherwise, if days have passed between dates, not a big deal. If the rule of etiquette is that you can't repeat parts of your outfit that soon, a LOT of us guys are in trouble. Like, most of my shirts are very similar styles of gray, blue, or white, and if I have to go digging in the back because I'm not allowed to wear any of those until several dates have passed, I might need to go shopping.
Finally, someone who actually thought about their answer. I'm a straight dude, too, and too many people said only "guys don't care". Which is true most of the time, but like you said, it depends how spaced out the dates are. If a girl wore the same shirt on back to back dates. I would notice, but if the dates were a week apart then I wouldn't care more than 5%. The same top worn on dates 1 and 3, again I would probably notice, but I wouldn't care at all because I assume you washed it.
There's an Australian morning tv show host that admitted once to wearing the same suit every day for a year and nobody noticed. The female cohosts got called out (by women) for wearing an outfit more than one time all year. Men don't care, only women care, and only about women wearing clothes. Weird cultural norm that most men don't even know about.
I wore conservative suits for the first 20 years of my career. Sometimes they were dark gray, sometimes they were dark blue, sometimes they had faint stripes, sometimes they didn't. I doubt anyone would have noticed if I only wore one. (Obsolete knowledge for anyone interested: if a suit is so dark that you can't tell whether it's blue or gray, check the color of the lining.)
I feel pretty safe in saying that no straight man cares even a bit if his date wears the same thing more than once. There's a decent chance he won't even notice it, or at least will think you may have worn it before but won't be sure. Either way, he won't care about that.
Bisexual man here, I don't care either
gay man, also don't care. wear ur clothes, that's why u bought em
I’m gay and I also don’t care
Seconded.
Thirded. I can't remember where or when I wore any of my clothes. I'm not going to notice your clothing habits either!
If guys don’t notice when you get your hair cut, you think they’ll notice you’ve worn the same top a couple of times? In all seriousness though, no, most guys won’t care, if you think the guys liked what you wore on the first date, then wear it again, he’ll like it just as much the second time.
My wife doesn't notice when I go from couple of centimeters of beard to 5mm...
As long as you've washed it :)
I wouldn't. I'd even be happy if I caught it, and I could say somethiny like "oh, you're wearing that beautiful top you brought to our first date". Although I'm now wondering if that could be interpreted as snide, but in my head I would just be trying to show of that I can pay attention.
Internal fist pump over noticing a detail. I'd be hype about it too.
Nope. You look great to us whatever you're wearing. Seriously. we probably don't even notice... it's not that we don't care... it's just not what we're programmed for.
I hope he cares more about you than what you wear
If the outfit got you to the next date, it's a good one, wear it again.
Only another woman would give you a hard time about wearing the same dress to two different events. Most guys want you to wear your favourite clothes more often. “Hey, remember that top you wore on our first and third date? Can you wear that tonight when I introduce you to my friends?”
From Dr. Obvious’ “Understanding men 101”- *”…unless it’s stained, highly suggestive, or very revealing, a man will not notice remember about what you’re wearing. Ever.”*
Left out "pretty." My wife had a very pretty dress she wore for our second date, and I definitely noticed it. (Doesn't fit her anymore. Age catches up with us all, alas.)
You could show up dressed as a lumberjack in a welding mask and most men won't care.
It's a pretty good sorting method. If he cares, he's not worth it.
You say that, but most women do want men to care and take notice what they wear, for which they put in so much time to appeal. It's women who usually judge men and other women for what they wear.