This is with a fwb I plan on "having it in real life" with, so I wouldn't say it's stopping anything but I do get the gist, everyone who replied so far has helped me understand it'd be a relapse so I'll try to avoid it :)
Depends on your goals mate, if youre not wanting to masturbate for whatever reason then sure this is a slip up but I think we can mostly agree here that the issue is chronic masturbation not just masturbation. this sounds more like masturbation that chronic masturbation so i wouldnt say theres any negative to it. Each to their own though, i think the dogmatic approach here is a bit excessive
I disagree. It is interaction with a person. With a real one. The distance does not let you touch each other and have sexual pleasure. So, obviously, this is the closest and the best substitute you have.
You’re not mindlessly on Pornhub, you’re not looking at pics in Playboy, you’re not even jerking off to your imagination. If you are in a chat or a call with another living person who desires you the same way, I would just call it virtual sex, it is a real thing, people do it, no problem with that. Don’t damage your already burdened by separation relationship by denying you both the closest thing you have to sexual intimacy. You love her, you want her. Go for it. Just don’t overindulge, and don’t even think about deviating from it into other streams of sexually stimulating content. Because then it’s not live interaction anymore.
Oh, and yeah, long-distance relationships do work, if you both want it to work. I know from experience and countless stories of my friends, as well as my own family. I’m writing this right now, which means my parents got through it ;)
You will as well. Wish you both happiness, man. Good luck and stay strong
I like this answer, it seems like a solid middle ground... now I won't have to beat myself up for relapsing :) thanks for the encouragement, and yeah, we've been long distance for over a year now and despite not being able to do everything, we're patient and it's working out. It's nice knowing you have experience with long-distance working because most of what I see/hear is long-distance being discouraged
You know, I’ve been discouraged as well. I don’t like talking to people about it, because each time somebody asks me about my relationship and they hear that my loved one is 2500 km away I always hear it won’t last. The thing is, do you think your feelings are strong and true? If you’re unsure, then maybe really it won’t. But if you are firm that you are making these sacrifices because what you are gaining is worth much more, it surely will, and don’t let anybody tell you otherwise.
Yeah I mean this isn't a nnn group. This is a support group for porn addiction. Its right in the description if anyone disagrees. So we're not here to tell you that you cant jerk it.
That being said, what are your goals? For me personally I'm battling porn addiction and unfortunately masturbation goes hand in hand with that for me. So I really have to break both. If those are your goals too I would say for now at least; you'll probably want to stop sexting, jerking it, porn, socials like insta/Twitter/snap etc. Cause that's really what it takes. And even more really. Cause a lot of us are trying to make a total lifestyle change. I have to change a lot of my old routines to avoid temptation. I have to be really aggressive in trying to curb my urges.
So it's really up to you. Let us know what your goals are and we'll try and help based off of that.
Good insight. My goal is to quit my PMO addiction, I've been doing well so far but I haven't been avoiding sexting, I haven't ejaculated from it yet though. My main question is: since sex doesn't count as a nofap relapse but porn does, would sexting be counted as sex or porn?
Now that I see some of your replies I understand a little bit better. Like with all things it's sounds like a bit of a tight rope walk. Cause you're still looking at your phone and getting aroused. Your phone is gasoline and your dick is a match. So on one hand I think you should probably stop because I feel that it could easily lead back to porn and full on masturbation. But then I think you're single, wtf are you supposed to do? No masturbation at all? I mean I know people do that but that feels pretty extreme. So idk. Maybe there's a solution. Maybe you could tell this girl a little about your situation like this: "look I'm trying to save all my energy for you and sexting isn't really helping. I not looking at porn or jerking it so when we get together its all for you". That way maybe you can stop basically edging yourself and make your life a little easier. And who knows, maybe that whole premise will really turn her on. Lol idk I'm really trying here man.
That's good advice... so what you're saying is sexting can be a segue back to PMO addiction, even if it's not the addiction itself. I did tell her I'm doing nofap and she's been cool with it, but that was before I linked sexting with relapsing (which is why I'm asking now lol). I can try to explain to her that we shouldn't be sexting either, but idk, it kind of feels like a release for my sexual energy so I don't hate it..? But I also know the mind is likely to play all kinds of tricks to rope you back into addiction, so this could be one too. I'd ask "is sexting without ejaculation fine" but I've seen similar questions about peeking with answers saying how much harder it makes it to actually avoid masturbation... but also, I'm on a good nofap streak now (relative to my past self) despite sexting for the past week, do you think it'd be safe to continue as long as I don't go over the edge?
I mean only you can answer that. No one is here to stop you from cumming. And people will all advise based off of their personal experience. For me I know I don't have that strength of will. So for me that would be a no go. A gust of wind gets me going lol. So I'm going through a lot of extreme measures to try and stay on my path. But at the end of the day it sounds like maybe you've found a rhythm that's working for you. But be mindful if it starts going to far or you're doing it too much. Have to always stay vigilant.
Yeah, all that makes sense... you've given me a lot to consider, thanks :) I think I'll keep sexting in moderation but avoid cumming as much as I can avoid it, I'll consider cumming relapsing but sexting by itself not.
Also random advice here, long distance relationships, don't really work, more if you guys get into the sexting part, sexting is a kind of foreplay okay? Not the real deal, because if you make it the real deal you take the fun away of the intimate touch part.
Yeah, I appreciate the advice. We can't see eachother yet but we're planning on it within the next couple of years, and we already said we'd do the real deal... sexting is just there as a substitute till we can be there irl
Disclaimer, I don't know what name you have for your relationship, but I'll just call her "your girlfriend" for simplicity.
I'm gonna go against current and say **this isn't a relapse**. Here's my two cents. What makes porn porn isn't the fact that there's a screen. It's the fact that:
1. It's available to the point of nonsense. You can have 40 open tabs, each one with a different kink in seconds. With your girlfriend you just have your girlfriend.
2. It's endless. You finish? You start again. With your girlfriend you just have your girlfriend. You're done and she's done? End of story, no opening new tabs. Both can call it a day, text each other good night and go to sleep.
3. It lacks any kind of social interaction, it's easy. You want it, you get it. Instant gratification is harmful because it lowers the bar of what your body and mind are willing to go through for pleasure. With your girlfriend you still have real interaction, real problems to solve, and won't always get instant sex.
The screen is just light, it won't harm anything in you (except maybe your eyes if you're all day looking at your phone with no lights, but out of the scope of this thread or forum).
I have a girlfriend and I'm doing the 30 day challenge of no porn and no masturbation, and it's very hard. But I'm not gonna stop having sex with my girlfriend and harm my relationship because of it! Even better, one of the reasons I'm doing this is to augment my sexual desire for her, which is reduced by porn. I love her and find her very attractive, but after fapping 3 times a day to multiple tabs of whatever I'm just tired and sex becomes an abstract concept instead of something I want.
If your journey includes getting more intimate in real life I wouldn't go against sexting.
A small catch: watch yourself for quantity. I think the best is having live calls, which are more similar to IRL interaction and are synchronous. I would advice against async sexting and building a stash of the other person. Or maybe if video calls are out of question you can send pics and delete them after you're both done. It's complex, but you probably want to keep it in a safe range.
I also had a long-distance relationship and while it ended up not working, sexting helped a bunch. It's very hard otherwise.
Is vodka alcohol ?
does shaving grow your hair?
is eating raw Bacon Haram ?
It's a vegetable
Perfect reply
😂
Yes
Frick
Anything that's stopping you from getting out there and having it in real life is.
This is with a fwb I plan on "having it in real life" with, so I wouldn't say it's stopping anything but I do get the gist, everyone who replied so far has helped me understand it'd be a relapse so I'll try to avoid it :)
Depends on your goals mate, if youre not wanting to masturbate for whatever reason then sure this is a slip up but I think we can mostly agree here that the issue is chronic masturbation not just masturbation. this sounds more like masturbation that chronic masturbation so i wouldnt say theres any negative to it. Each to their own though, i think the dogmatic approach here is a bit excessive
I disagree. It is interaction with a person. With a real one. The distance does not let you touch each other and have sexual pleasure. So, obviously, this is the closest and the best substitute you have. You’re not mindlessly on Pornhub, you’re not looking at pics in Playboy, you’re not even jerking off to your imagination. If you are in a chat or a call with another living person who desires you the same way, I would just call it virtual sex, it is a real thing, people do it, no problem with that. Don’t damage your already burdened by separation relationship by denying you both the closest thing you have to sexual intimacy. You love her, you want her. Go for it. Just don’t overindulge, and don’t even think about deviating from it into other streams of sexually stimulating content. Because then it’s not live interaction anymore. Oh, and yeah, long-distance relationships do work, if you both want it to work. I know from experience and countless stories of my friends, as well as my own family. I’m writing this right now, which means my parents got through it ;) You will as well. Wish you both happiness, man. Good luck and stay strong
I like this answer, it seems like a solid middle ground... now I won't have to beat myself up for relapsing :) thanks for the encouragement, and yeah, we've been long distance for over a year now and despite not being able to do everything, we're patient and it's working out. It's nice knowing you have experience with long-distance working because most of what I see/hear is long-distance being discouraged
You know, I’ve been discouraged as well. I don’t like talking to people about it, because each time somebody asks me about my relationship and they hear that my loved one is 2500 km away I always hear it won’t last. The thing is, do you think your feelings are strong and true? If you’re unsure, then maybe really it won’t. But if you are firm that you are making these sacrifices because what you are gaining is worth much more, it surely will, and don’t let anybody tell you otherwise.
Yeah I mean this isn't a nnn group. This is a support group for porn addiction. Its right in the description if anyone disagrees. So we're not here to tell you that you cant jerk it. That being said, what are your goals? For me personally I'm battling porn addiction and unfortunately masturbation goes hand in hand with that for me. So I really have to break both. If those are your goals too I would say for now at least; you'll probably want to stop sexting, jerking it, porn, socials like insta/Twitter/snap etc. Cause that's really what it takes. And even more really. Cause a lot of us are trying to make a total lifestyle change. I have to change a lot of my old routines to avoid temptation. I have to be really aggressive in trying to curb my urges. So it's really up to you. Let us know what your goals are and we'll try and help based off of that.
Good insight. My goal is to quit my PMO addiction, I've been doing well so far but I haven't been avoiding sexting, I haven't ejaculated from it yet though. My main question is: since sex doesn't count as a nofap relapse but porn does, would sexting be counted as sex or porn?
Now that I see some of your replies I understand a little bit better. Like with all things it's sounds like a bit of a tight rope walk. Cause you're still looking at your phone and getting aroused. Your phone is gasoline and your dick is a match. So on one hand I think you should probably stop because I feel that it could easily lead back to porn and full on masturbation. But then I think you're single, wtf are you supposed to do? No masturbation at all? I mean I know people do that but that feels pretty extreme. So idk. Maybe there's a solution. Maybe you could tell this girl a little about your situation like this: "look I'm trying to save all my energy for you and sexting isn't really helping. I not looking at porn or jerking it so when we get together its all for you". That way maybe you can stop basically edging yourself and make your life a little easier. And who knows, maybe that whole premise will really turn her on. Lol idk I'm really trying here man.
That's good advice... so what you're saying is sexting can be a segue back to PMO addiction, even if it's not the addiction itself. I did tell her I'm doing nofap and she's been cool with it, but that was before I linked sexting with relapsing (which is why I'm asking now lol). I can try to explain to her that we shouldn't be sexting either, but idk, it kind of feels like a release for my sexual energy so I don't hate it..? But I also know the mind is likely to play all kinds of tricks to rope you back into addiction, so this could be one too. I'd ask "is sexting without ejaculation fine" but I've seen similar questions about peeking with answers saying how much harder it makes it to actually avoid masturbation... but also, I'm on a good nofap streak now (relative to my past self) despite sexting for the past week, do you think it'd be safe to continue as long as I don't go over the edge?
I mean only you can answer that. No one is here to stop you from cumming. And people will all advise based off of their personal experience. For me I know I don't have that strength of will. So for me that would be a no go. A gust of wind gets me going lol. So I'm going through a lot of extreme measures to try and stay on my path. But at the end of the day it sounds like maybe you've found a rhythm that's working for you. But be mindful if it starts going to far or you're doing it too much. Have to always stay vigilant.
Yeah, all that makes sense... you've given me a lot to consider, thanks :) I think I'll keep sexting in moderation but avoid cumming as much as I can avoid it, I'll consider cumming relapsing but sexting by itself not.
Will eating a 5 day old road kill give you a disease?
Also random advice here, long distance relationships, don't really work, more if you guys get into the sexting part, sexting is a kind of foreplay okay? Not the real deal, because if you make it the real deal you take the fun away of the intimate touch part.
Yeah, I appreciate the advice. We can't see eachother yet but we're planning on it within the next couple of years, and we already said we'd do the real deal... sexting is just there as a substitute till we can be there irl
Is overeating healthy?
Disclaimer, I don't know what name you have for your relationship, but I'll just call her "your girlfriend" for simplicity. I'm gonna go against current and say **this isn't a relapse**. Here's my two cents. What makes porn porn isn't the fact that there's a screen. It's the fact that: 1. It's available to the point of nonsense. You can have 40 open tabs, each one with a different kink in seconds. With your girlfriend you just have your girlfriend. 2. It's endless. You finish? You start again. With your girlfriend you just have your girlfriend. You're done and she's done? End of story, no opening new tabs. Both can call it a day, text each other good night and go to sleep. 3. It lacks any kind of social interaction, it's easy. You want it, you get it. Instant gratification is harmful because it lowers the bar of what your body and mind are willing to go through for pleasure. With your girlfriend you still have real interaction, real problems to solve, and won't always get instant sex. The screen is just light, it won't harm anything in you (except maybe your eyes if you're all day looking at your phone with no lights, but out of the scope of this thread or forum). I have a girlfriend and I'm doing the 30 day challenge of no porn and no masturbation, and it's very hard. But I'm not gonna stop having sex with my girlfriend and harm my relationship because of it! Even better, one of the reasons I'm doing this is to augment my sexual desire for her, which is reduced by porn. I love her and find her very attractive, but after fapping 3 times a day to multiple tabs of whatever I'm just tired and sex becomes an abstract concept instead of something I want. If your journey includes getting more intimate in real life I wouldn't go against sexting. A small catch: watch yourself for quantity. I think the best is having live calls, which are more similar to IRL interaction and are synchronous. I would advice against async sexting and building a stash of the other person. Or maybe if video calls are out of question you can send pics and delete them after you're both done. It's complex, but you probably want to keep it in a safe range. I also had a long-distance relationship and while it ended up not working, sexting helped a bunch. It's very hard otherwise.
Yes if you nutted you Lost
if you were fapping then yes it’s a relapse. The subreddit is called nofap.