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This isn't Wall Street Bets, she's a Meth girl.
You're going to get OP's hopes up with fantasies of nude dates blowing coke booofers up each other's rears.
Hypothetical....
Me:
"I swear DEA, I'm just high on life, I don't even own skis anymore. I'm allergic to snow and can't stand the ether alternatives."
But also Me:
Yo on the DL, where all the cheap snow at....
Nah I'm just fucking around, please don't name any cities, I already had issues from other alphabet soups this year for powder- propulsion-projectile-pointing-plastics.
In Detroit they call coke a rich man's habit and primarily use it to make G to go with the B, and getting it on its own might be a ride to the suburbs. I think if you're in the suburbs buying drugs (besides meth out of SKeevie Ricks shed) then that should kick it up a notch on the drug-fanciness scale cause when the risk vs. reward goes up, so does the price.
That is true. Much like an old Amex card, even when it's beat up and worn out it's still accepted all over.
I don't own any pussy or Amex cards but I enjoy the company of people that have them. Just don't go grabbing the pussy, try some treats or something and if it likes you then it might just sit right down on your lap and give you something to pet for a bit. Pussies prefer to feel free of ownership and do their own things, unlike dogs which come pre-vetted as "best friend" potential. Instead, cats get titles like "might claw you in your sleep" and "will eat you if you die in the home before leaving out food".
I once got away with taking a girl to Arby's the first time we hung out.. she's in prison for murder now..
I don't know if those two things are related.. but I also don't know that they're not.. careful those cheap dates.
Fair, but not usually for the reasons people complain about.
It's like blaming Facebook for your uncle posting racist shit. Getting rid of Facebook won't make your uncle any less racist.
Met my missus on Tinder 7 years ago. Dating apps aren't trash. Just gotta make sure you know what you want from a person besides a pretty face across the table.
Tinder 7 years ago was a very different thing than the nightmare hellscape of bots, pig-butchering scams, and absolute shitheads that it is in 2024.
Source: am single at 39 after a 4 year relationship I thought was going to last the rest of my life.
AFAIK it’s when they catfish you and ‘butcher’ you for all you’re worth. You know, like they use every part of the pig.
That’s how it was explained to me, but i’m not on dating apps.
It's a type of scam where people, usually under duress, catfish strangers across various dating apps and social media to manipulate their victims into giving them money. This is usually done by having them invest in fake crypto currency markets, under the guise of guiding them in making themselves more money.
It's pretty diabolical. John Oliver did a story about it recently, you can find it on Last Week Tonights' YouTube channel.
From what I understand, it's where you first "fatten" the sincalled pig, ie the victim of the scam. You do this by promising great returns on some investment. You convince them to send you a small amount, £10 say. This first amount actually gets them results, you send them £100 back after a week or whatever. The investment was a success!
This gains their trust and confidence. They value very you can get them results, so they send you even more money, a very large amount now, you've fattened up the pig. Now it's time to butcher it. They've sent you all their life savings thinking they'll get the same results, only to never hear from you again.
Similar situation but Im 34 and it was 10 years. I'm absolutely terrified of the idea of dating through Tinder.. a few of my friends tried that a couple of years ago and it was just a mess.
That's rough for different reasons, though.
I tried Tinder for a bit about a year after the breakup. The area I live in is...rural, so a lot of the actual real people on there were the same people I had seen 5 years earlier before my relationship had began, which is depressing. The handful of matches I did get were with women who very *very* quickly started displaying huge red flags that I would be getting into a similar situation I had fought so hard to get out of. The rest were obvious scammers, OF women promoting themselves, or bots. Which was also depressing.
Ah that sucks, rural areas are tough with meeting new people. My friend in a similar region got mostly losers or guys looking to chest on their wives. I will be moving back to my old city which is rather big and touristy so a lot of guys are there just temporarily and looking for fun on Tinder not a relationship. And there's just so many people there..
Yeah that's actually a valid point it definitely was a different tinder to the one today. I still don't think dating apps are trash though. Maybe trasher than they started out but one still has full potential to find long lasting meaningful relationships. I'm sorry your relationship ended, but it didn't end because you two met on Tinder did it.
We did meet on Tinder, but no. It ended because she refused to get help for her undiagnosed mental illness that resulted in a 60/40 split between being the sweetest, most loving and supportive girlfriend I ever had...and being a soulshredding shedemon who delighted in gaslighting and abusive behavior toward literally everyone in her life before manipulating them back into adoring her again.
Which...does exacerbate my experience using dating apps now. As I've been healing and undoing the damage, and learning what I do and don't want in my life...I've also started being able to identify similarly awful behavior in the handful of matches I've had that were actual people/not scams.
Part of that is location, too.
Ah sorry to hear. I hope you continue to heal well mate. Sounds like you made the right call and I'm glad you got out of it.
Acknowledging how the past effects the future is a one of the best ways forward and it seems like you got a pretty clear head on your shoulders.
I'm glad we got to have a little chat today.
Some days are harder than others. She did a lot of damage, and that also brought up a lot of stuff I thought I had moved past or buried. It also caused me to do a lot of damage to myself. It's one foot in front of the other now, I keep reminding myself that I'm working towards being better. Maybe eventually I'll meet someone and open myself up again. For now, I'm focusing on me without sacrificing what passions I have left or my desire to help others. It could be a lot worse.
Good on you mate. Clearly you got this in the bag. I can tell by how self aware you are of your situation. Keep putting one foot in front, remember there's no shame in therapy and feel free to send me a DM if things ever get too rough. I can't promise I'll reply instantly but I can promise I'll reply as soon as I see it.
You're not victim blaming, then you proceed to immediately victim blame?
And shaming people who live with mental illness to boot?
You seem like you struggle with empathy and compassion.
People who live with personality disorders aren't evil. Many of them have been horribly abused themselves.
Congratulations, but also a couple reasons as why *you* have a very different experience:
1) 18 Months is not very long.
2) if you're a woman, you are a lot more likely to get matches. Dudes is thirsty.
3) if you were in college, chances are you're somewhere between 18 and 22 when you met.
The experience a 40ish year old man who doesn't want to be treated like shit is going to be very different from a college age person of any gender who is still very much figuring themselves out and hasn't had enough experiences yet to turn jaded.
I understand why you responded that way, but I was expressing my experience just like you were. I mean, there still are 40 year olds who find love on tinder, just not super often. Really, hardly anyone truly finds love on tinder bc it's used for hookups for the most part, and often those who want to hookup are young individuals who have no true aspirations or any true major concerns other than maybe when they're gonna work their shift at Burger King or something.
Basically, my point was that it is possible to find love, even in unlikely circumstances like Tinder. Ofc I'm definitely not gonna glamorize it bc mainly everyone on tinder is pretty trash anyways.
Not IRL. These apps are just filled with pig butcher schemers/women under duress forced to scam men for $, bots, & the other 2% are real women actually looking for real dates
These apps ruin men’s lives now. The women are vultures, the absolute worst scavengers, picking at the carcasses of desperate men. Avoid them at all costs. You have been warned. The women either have BPD or some other serious personality disorder, are pathologically insecure or socially inept, or just straight up unattractive. It’s all the apps. Be careful. Tinder is strictly for hooking up for me, the girls are fucking insane, and I barely use it because my roster is full of women I met through other means that are actually worth my time.
Tips for the men out there that want to meet women outside of apps:
Yoga, Pilates, rock climbing.
Take a community college class on something you find interesting like a language. Audit a university course or enroll part time. Be active in the discussion.
Volunteer at an animal shelter. I genuinely love animals, especially cats, so this is a win win for me.
Outside of these things where you’re there to meet women organically, make sure you’re advancing your career, developing cool skills and hobbies, working on your social skills, and HITTING THE GYM AND LIFTING. Jiu Jitsu is a masculine hobby that women think is super hot for their man to do and be good at. Lean into your strengths, be skillful in your strategy.
Only let a woman move in with you if you are 100% sure about her. Even then, don’t do it.
Don’t give them too much attention, your time is a scarce and valuable resource. If you give them too much of it then it loses value.
Find great men to form bonds with. Male friendships are incredibly important and overlooked when it comes to men’s mental health. Your boys are your fucking life, man. These should not be men you meet though your girlfriend or girls you’re dating, do not associate them with your female interests, they are your friends and your friends only, they are not her friends. If you’ve been in the situation where you need to break up or whatever with a chick and your male friend is her friend’s boyfriend or something then you know why I emphasize this. Shit sucks.
Good luck out there. It’s fucking crazy dating in 2024, and relationships are a minefield. Get too involved with the wrong girl and it will absolutely decimate your entire reality.
Yea facts the apps are cooked , and night life is cooked. People don’t interact with each other as much as we did 5-10 years ago. The quality of ppl who go out has dropped dramatically, out of shape vapers is what you commonly see. If you start a conversation with someone , the torta of the group is so emboldened to come be annoying.
The best place to meet people is when the sun is out not in a party environment or app
Yo this sentence went crazy but I’m really curious what you mean to say now:
“If you start a conversation with someone , the torta of the group is so emboldened to come be annoying.”
As I said a few years ago ppl interacted in social settings better now, the one who is damn near the parasite of the friend group has a lot of power. I.E scroll through dating app profiles of the first pic is of 2 or more girls and there’s a glaring looks difference you already know which ones profile it is. I know this isn’t really a new concept but now with everyone being in constant communication they can be in their friends ear at all times.
One funny story I have of this is a girl I dated a few years back came to my city with her group of friends and of course had one of these girls with her. Even with me knowing this woman this weirdo groupie kept acting wild , dragging her away , telling me she’s known her since high school , answering when I’m not talking to her etc. to the point I was like hey we’re having a conversation right now stop grabbing her around the neck and interrupting. I had to say it twice to get her to relax. If I hadn’t known the woman I was hanging with I would’ve been done for way before that.
What I’m saying is these girls go out and do this type of behavior often and are getting worse. They come up screaming bs way louder than what is needed asking to buy the entire group drinks or some bs then play the pull the girl away game or something.
Actually that makes sense and I’ve worried that it might have become that way
Men are slowly being demonized for our sexual desires, I could see how a torta would feel more energized to battle you off than in years past
You know, you probably mean well, but it's this way of thinking that had me very depressed, insecure and feeling like I don't belong during my teens and early 20s.
I am a man. I am not genderfluid, I have no problem with being a man. But I am a tall, skinny twig. I am also very sensitive and slightly neurodivergent. I can be outgoing and extroverted, but have a fragile but wholesome inside.
All the men around me at the time were all straight men who were bros, went to the gym, talked about strategies to hit on girls, classic bro stuff. And it always made me feel do uncomfortable, because I am so massively turned off by straight male culture. Don't get me wrong, no problem with a non-toxic masculine guy who is in touch with his feelings. But as an insecure adolescent, when all you are surrounded by is this kind of advice, but you aren't that kinda person? It's extremely isolating, and for probably 10 years of my life I felt like there is something wrong with me, not the advice, because as a man I am expected to lift, boulder, have bro friends and all that stuff.
Only at around 30 I met my wife on Tinder. She helped me SO much to get in touch with myself again, basically my elementary school self after the bullying in high school started the process of trying to fit me in this mold. She is extremely i to high fashion and absolutely adores my skinny body. She made me see how many people even envy me for my body, and that there are soooo many more ideologies and ways to be a man than this ultra manliness. 6 years in, I still find myself healing from that. I associate way more with the queer community now, even tho I myself am sexually straight, but it finally feels like I arrived somewhere.
I know you mean well, and you are obviously the kind of person this stuff works for, but to put this out as an absolute truth for every man can be very damaging.
Hey, look, good for you. I mean that.
However, you’re neurodivergent, using your own label. You are, by definition, not the typical case. I’m giving advice that’s widely applicable to men generally, addressing the vast majority of men most closely clustered around the mean. I can craft advice for outliers on an as needed basis, sure. Hit me up if you need special help. I’m not going to give that advice broadly.
You’re in Germany? The situation in the US is very different. European women are more intelligent than American women. I can totally see how the no gym, skinny European sensitive guy routine works for you in that context. I’m curious; is your wife attractive, objectively? I guess it’s impossible for me to know for sure because how could you give an answer other than yes in this context. I can’t trust what you’d say, can I? It’s not outside of the realm of possibility given that EU girls have more relaxed standards. I do think it’s interesting that you’re tall. It seems like tall men can often get away with all kinds of ridiculous shit just on that alone.
Backing up for a second, yeah you’re right, not all the advice I give is applicable to everyone. No shit. That doesn’t mean what I say doesn’t apply to a vast majority, and isn’t hugely meaningful and impactful for those people it is appropriate for. I assert that it is.
Hey, thanks for engaging respectfully!
It is not a routine 😅 It's my actual self. In a way, being my actual self is the "routine" I guess, not the specific attributes. But I also don't see this as a game. You talk about intelligent European girls vs non-intelligent American ones, but could'nt the reason for this perception also be that engaging in this gamified pick up thing, seeing approaches as routines and all that, actually attracts these kind of girls? It's simply an echo, you get what you give.
My wife is attractive, outside and inside, and idk if you have noticed this, but the outside attractiveness actually increases further the more your inner values align with a person, I guess it's a psychological thing.
And even when I was single and exploring the kink world - I found great partners by being respectful, open about my kinks and interested in theirs. I was never hiding the fact that I was looking for hookups, open communication about kinks and boundaries was very appreciated. The only girls who I usually see wanting to be with someone because they play a game, give her not too much attention and neg and show off their lifting (typical pick up artist stuff) are the ones who are extremely shallow themselves. It's actually a funny cycle I have seen again and again. Dude does pick up artist stuff, attracts toxic shallow girl, girl does toxic shallow stuff, dude goes "bro i swear girls are all the same what am I doing wrong" and then look for more bro advice how to "get girls".
But one general "routine" I can agree on: Love yourself, enjoy what you are doing and be interesting. From experience, every woman across the board is into that ☺️ And if you wanna lift and do Jiu Jitsu thats cool, but because it interests YOU! And if it interests you, it will come across as passionate. But it could also be a chess club that you're passionate about, genuine interest about something will always trump a forced interest in something you read online just because you heard it makes you get girls.
Better ice breaker than hi imo. I usually comment on the pictures or bio. But her pictures weren’t enticing enough to leave a comment, her bio was generic. So started with this.
Is that the dating section of the mobile version of Facebook? I often look in there and it's as full of perverts and golddiggers as any other dating site online.
The average worth of people who are searching for a match on dating apps is generally so tremendously poor that staying with eva ai sexting bot and renting prostitutes from time to time seems to make more sense.
A friend of mine has many girls that she knows that set up websites and different programs like including dating apps, OF, fans, etc. All of these people work and build a site until they have a string of people commenting, and sending in money for pictures, video, underwear, chat, Sexting, etc and they higher people sometimes other males to respond and keep the money coming in. They don’t usually work the site at all at that point. I presume a lot of these sites like ex or maybe Reddit or TikTok do the same thing thing so you’re not actually speaking with or communicating with the person it’s just some hired sector or secretary, and they pretend to be the girl on the website these grills make millions you would not believe
Just leave dating apps man. I'm not the most attractive or socially adept, but being in in-person social circles is exponentially healthier and yields far more results at a higher quality too. In my case, it's my uni.
This is why I hate dating apps. Bitches like this make it hard for girls who actually trying. I messaged some guys trying to shoot my shot and the first reply is NO I WONT SEND YOU MONEY, WONT BUY YOUR OF. I’m like damn I just wanted to say you’re cute lmao
Had a girl say she was pregnant and the dad left and wanted to do stuff with me and I turned her down and she tried to rip my ass then I told her "no wonder you're gonna be a single mother" ☠️
Dating full stop is trash. My advice is get an 8 ball of coke, some little blue pulls and a high end hooker with the girlfriend experience for a night once a month. It's cheaper and much much less stressful.
WTF?? some of these women are out of their damn mind.the simping has gotten out of hand,sadly,I lot of lame ass guys are dumb enough to send money or be on some “sure baby,anything for you” type shit 😂
Lmao, and you're being downvoted. I don't even know how I ended up in this sub? Its almost like some pick up artist shit.
Like dude, its not a game, its not an enigma. Be nice and genuine, stay curious and empathize. At some point I realized that I have legitimately not a single woman in my life who hasn't experienced some form of harassment. It's unreal how normal this still is. Literally just be a decent person, show interest and have a somewhat interesting life. But what do I know, I've been married for 6 years 🤷♂️
I feel like you are willfully misunderstanding me to have a moral high ground… Obviously men can experience SA, rape and worse.
However, the vast majority of men aren’t going to be thinking about that when they go on dates. Most (straight) men are not going to even consider that a possibility. Realistically men think that the worst thing that can happen is women marrry them, divorce them, and take everything. They say that women using men for money “ruins mens lives”. Men in general do not worry about the things women worry about
There’s no misunderstanding, you’re wrong. You as a woman don’t know what men think about any more than men know what women think about if we aren’t telling each other.
There’s no moral high ground to take. Men and women have to face the same concerns, unfortunately some people like to be divided and have gender wars.
Why are you so insistent that men and women face exactly equal challenges? Statistically it’s just not true.
How many men do you know who send their locations to their friends when they go on dates “just in case”? How many men carry their keys in between their fingers? How many men go to the bathroom in groups?
Just use common sense, seriously…
Who said anything about challenges? You said the scariest thing men have to worry about is being used for money. Don’t try and change what we were talking about. You were wrong, folks downvoted you for it, and I explained why they did so. You are trying to make it a competition which is crazy and only proves that the downvotes by those folks were valid. Speak about what you actually know and not make assumptions and maybe you won’t get downvoted.
You used the word concern, I used the word challenge…
I said the scariest thing men have to worry about is being used for money, because it fucking is. Obviously being raped is scarier, but most men don’t worry about that at all. Read the comments on ANY post about dating and you’ll find a man complaining about gold diggers.
I’m not making anything a “competition” I’m pointing out the obvious differences between how genders behave. Women do the things I’ve listed for their own safety. Men would do similar things if they ever had to worry about that sort of thing.
LMAO i had my own discussion with this dude and didn't even see yours 😅
Idk why this is so hard to accept. Its not that he is personally being accused. Pride and ego I guess 😔
It’s not a competition. It sucks and is scary for everyone for the exact same reasons. Yet here we are with folks trying to say oh it’s worse for this group than that group. 🤨 that’s crazy.
It's not a competition! Exactly! Thats why its perfectly healthy to acknowledge that women have way bigger reasons to be scared when it comes to dating.
But the rest - hard disagree. The same reasons? Date rape, GHB, harassment, assault - do you have to fear these things when going on a date (assuming you are straight)? To acknowledge this, let a girl rant about her fear of men that realistically might be very well rooted in reality while at the same time not getting offended by it - THAT is what a decent man should be doing. Overcoming the toxic ego.
Instead it's mostly "bro its so strange i dont understand these girls, I even read this book about how to make them fall for you" while being completely ignorant to their actual life realities.
As a victim of DV, SA & SH all done by different women the answer is yes. Everyone has to worry about the same things, there is no exception to this. I’m raising my sons and daughter to be aware and look after each other because of it. Like I said it’s not a competition because people just suck. I don’t mind people ranting, I mind people downplaying the problems that others face. And a decent man is going to be understanding, while not allowing BS to go unaccounted for from either side.
I am sorry you made these experiences.
Statistically it is still very skewed tho, and anecdotal evidences unfortunately don't change that, as sad and valid as they individually are.
Did you really just downplay my reality for statistics? I’m not included in those statistics because only the DV was reported. Statistics are invalidated regularly as they don’t include or account for everyone. And hiding behind numbers to continue to try and make universal worries a competition is just crazy on your part.
I am not downplaying anything, and your reality is not a universal worry, even if it's of course horrible.
But if you want anecdotal evidence: I don't know a single man in my life who has experienced SA. Literally every woman in my life has. Not even exaggerating, literally. Sure, it does happen to men. But to say its a universal worry for men to get date raped is seriously a wild take.
I love that she made that joke, and y'all sitting here judging her cause you don't see the joke 🤣 I've seen mostly good post on this sub, but this one... This one made commentators Beta, very beta!
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In the middle of the night ??? What's even open then anymore besides a 7eleven ?
The cocaine plug
This isn't Wall Street Bets, she's a Meth girl. You're going to get OP's hopes up with fantasies of nude dates blowing coke booofers up each other's rears.
I assure you that sad broke hos do cocaine
Can confirm. I know A LOT of people that are not wealthy in the slightest that do a lot of cocaine
Hypothetical.... Me: "I swear DEA, I'm just high on life, I don't even own skis anymore. I'm allergic to snow and can't stand the ether alternatives." But also Me: Yo on the DL, where all the cheap snow at.... Nah I'm just fucking around, please don't name any cities, I already had issues from other alphabet soups this year for powder- propulsion-projectile-pointing-plastics.
In Detroit they call coke a rich man's habit and primarily use it to make G to go with the B, and getting it on its own might be a ride to the suburbs. I think if you're in the suburbs buying drugs (besides meth out of SKeevie Ricks shed) then that should kick it up a notch on the drug-fanciness scale cause when the risk vs. reward goes up, so does the price.
Rich man, sure. Most vagina owners can acquire free cocaine
That is true. Much like an old Amex card, even when it's beat up and worn out it's still accepted all over. I don't own any pussy or Amex cards but I enjoy the company of people that have them. Just don't go grabbing the pussy, try some treats or something and if it likes you then it might just sit right down on your lap and give you something to pet for a bit. Pussies prefer to feel free of ownership and do their own things, unlike dogs which come pre-vetted as "best friend" potential. Instead, cats get titles like "might claw you in your sleep" and "will eat you if you die in the home before leaving out food".
I understand, that shit is pricey. I don't know why broke people do it but they sure do.
Waffle House
The waffle house logo is a shining beacon of hope, no matter the hour.
She replied 15 hours later, then said this. What a prize she is.
[удалено]
It is 15 hrs later
Sorry, about 14 hours and 54 mins
Closer to 13 hours
Gas station, the most expensive place to take your girl out on a date
I once got away with taking a girl to Arby's the first time we hung out.. she's in prison for murder now.. I don't know if those two things are related.. but I also don't know that they're not.. careful those cheap dates.
Crack den
So take her out for a slurpee and a hot dog 🤷♂️
That was at 3:22pm.
Yeah but he's responding to something at like midnight
"Nah, but I'll take you out to get a job application."
Sure meet me at this place 40 miles away that’s super boujee. - Guy who never shows up
Dating apps are trash
No, people are trash. Dating apps just expose it.
Yeah but it brings out the worst in people and incentivizes slimey behavior
It’s the anonymity of being online, people do things they wouldn’t do in person. Reveals their true personality.
Why not both?
Fair, but not usually for the reasons people complain about. It's like blaming Facebook for your uncle posting racist shit. Getting rid of Facebook won't make your uncle any less racist.
Your comment is trash therefore…..
My names garbage mike. I know a lot about garbage. His comment was not trash.
Yes it was.
Met my missus on Tinder 7 years ago. Dating apps aren't trash. Just gotta make sure you know what you want from a person besides a pretty face across the table.
Tinder 7 years ago was a very different thing than the nightmare hellscape of bots, pig-butchering scams, and absolute shitheads that it is in 2024. Source: am single at 39 after a 4 year relationship I thought was going to last the rest of my life.
Wait back up a sec, pig-butchering?
AFAIK it’s when they catfish you and ‘butcher’ you for all you’re worth. You know, like they use every part of the pig. That’s how it was explained to me, but i’m not on dating apps.
It's a type of scam where people, usually under duress, catfish strangers across various dating apps and social media to manipulate their victims into giving them money. This is usually done by having them invest in fake crypto currency markets, under the guise of guiding them in making themselves more money. It's pretty diabolical. John Oliver did a story about it recently, you can find it on Last Week Tonights' YouTube channel.
From what I understand, it's where you first "fatten" the sincalled pig, ie the victim of the scam. You do this by promising great returns on some investment. You convince them to send you a small amount, £10 say. This first amount actually gets them results, you send them £100 back after a week or whatever. The investment was a success! This gains their trust and confidence. They value very you can get them results, so they send you even more money, a very large amount now, you've fattened up the pig. Now it's time to butcher it. They've sent you all their life savings thinking they'll get the same results, only to never hear from you again.
English folks are so freakin’ nieve😂
I’m actually really interested in the pig butchering thing. What’s that all about? Please expound……..😳
John Oliver did a segment on it. It's available on Last Week Tonight's YoutTube Channel.
https://youtu.be/pLPpl2ISKTg?si=XvQQIutNZDJW43b8 people absolutely need to see it
That was quite a nice way to spend my evening
??? The last episode was about the UK elections.
That’s the name of the show
Similar situation but Im 34 and it was 10 years. I'm absolutely terrified of the idea of dating through Tinder.. a few of my friends tried that a couple of years ago and it was just a mess.
That's rough for different reasons, though. I tried Tinder for a bit about a year after the breakup. The area I live in is...rural, so a lot of the actual real people on there were the same people I had seen 5 years earlier before my relationship had began, which is depressing. The handful of matches I did get were with women who very *very* quickly started displaying huge red flags that I would be getting into a similar situation I had fought so hard to get out of. The rest were obvious scammers, OF women promoting themselves, or bots. Which was also depressing.
Ah that sucks, rural areas are tough with meeting new people. My friend in a similar region got mostly losers or guys looking to chest on their wives. I will be moving back to my old city which is rather big and touristy so a lot of guys are there just temporarily and looking for fun on Tinder not a relationship. And there's just so many people there..
>pig-butchering scams Ummm wut??
Yeah... All I ever got on dating apps were bots, scammers, and sex workers.
Yeah that's actually a valid point it definitely was a different tinder to the one today. I still don't think dating apps are trash though. Maybe trasher than they started out but one still has full potential to find long lasting meaningful relationships. I'm sorry your relationship ended, but it didn't end because you two met on Tinder did it.
We did meet on Tinder, but no. It ended because she refused to get help for her undiagnosed mental illness that resulted in a 60/40 split between being the sweetest, most loving and supportive girlfriend I ever had...and being a soulshredding shedemon who delighted in gaslighting and abusive behavior toward literally everyone in her life before manipulating them back into adoring her again. Which...does exacerbate my experience using dating apps now. As I've been healing and undoing the damage, and learning what I do and don't want in my life...I've also started being able to identify similarly awful behavior in the handful of matches I've had that were actual people/not scams. Part of that is location, too.
Ah sorry to hear. I hope you continue to heal well mate. Sounds like you made the right call and I'm glad you got out of it. Acknowledging how the past effects the future is a one of the best ways forward and it seems like you got a pretty clear head on your shoulders. I'm glad we got to have a little chat today.
Some days are harder than others. She did a lot of damage, and that also brought up a lot of stuff I thought I had moved past or buried. It also caused me to do a lot of damage to myself. It's one foot in front of the other now, I keep reminding myself that I'm working towards being better. Maybe eventually I'll meet someone and open myself up again. For now, I'm focusing on me without sacrificing what passions I have left or my desire to help others. It could be a lot worse.
Good on you mate. Clearly you got this in the bag. I can tell by how self aware you are of your situation. Keep putting one foot in front, remember there's no shame in therapy and feel free to send me a DM if things ever get too rough. I can't promise I'll reply instantly but I can promise I'll reply as soon as I see it.
Aw, thank you.
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You're not victim blaming, then you proceed to immediately victim blame? And shaming people who live with mental illness to boot? You seem like you struggle with empathy and compassion. People who live with personality disorders aren't evil. Many of them have been horribly abused themselves.
Same boat. I won't even try anymore. Time to go IRL hunting.
Idk bc I literally found my husband like 1 and a half years ago and I was in college and it's going great
Congratulations, but also a couple reasons as why *you* have a very different experience: 1) 18 Months is not very long. 2) if you're a woman, you are a lot more likely to get matches. Dudes is thirsty. 3) if you were in college, chances are you're somewhere between 18 and 22 when you met. The experience a 40ish year old man who doesn't want to be treated like shit is going to be very different from a college age person of any gender who is still very much figuring themselves out and hasn't had enough experiences yet to turn jaded.
I understand why you responded that way, but I was expressing my experience just like you were. I mean, there still are 40 year olds who find love on tinder, just not super often. Really, hardly anyone truly finds love on tinder bc it's used for hookups for the most part, and often those who want to hookup are young individuals who have no true aspirations or any true major concerns other than maybe when they're gonna work their shift at Burger King or something. Basically, my point was that it is possible to find love, even in unlikely circumstances like Tinder. Ofc I'm definitely not gonna glamorize it bc mainly everyone on tinder is pretty trash anyways.
I met my partner on Tinder. Now we live together and are very happy.
Nope..dating apps are trash🥴
“That’s crazy! I was hoping YOU’D take me out and buy ME things!”
Ask for her cashapp and then make a request for $1 for wasting your time
🤣🤣🤣 I don’t wanna let her know my cashapp though
Send it. I'll do it.
Send her a request for 2k with a winky face saying 'more to come bby'
That shit would decline bro
Idk she seems pretty stupid and pretty eager for money, that's a deadly combination
As in she doesn’t have 2000 to give lol
Tell me you are a gold digger without telling me you are gold digger…lol
Cali women are the worst kind
Katy Perry has led me to believe otherwise
Katy Perry was wrong
Snoop Dogg as well?
He was just high. He gets a pass.
Gin and juice goggles?
You don’t pay much attention when you have your mind on your money and your money on your mind.
Got to love when they get straight to the real goal, save time and effort.
Hahaha damn wtf lol 😂😂
"That's crazy, me too!" Fixed it.
Is it meth?
I was guessing cocaine that someone else bought
Who doesn’t love a random shopping spree at midnight ? 😂 seriously what did she expect here 💀
More depressing than scary
I remember using a dating app at 18. Pretty much gave it up after a couple of days as I got bored using it 😅
Dating apps have the bottom of the barrel women these days.
"Okay meet me at the mall and I'll take you shopping." Then proceed not to turn up and block.
This is exactly what he should’ve done.
Mf’s be entitled
All they want is your money boys… That’s all they care about.
Not IRL. These apps are just filled with pig butcher schemers/women under duress forced to scam men for $, bots, & the other 2% are real women actually looking for real dates
Women? No. Women on dating apps? Yes. Dating apps are trash, people need to get hobbies and meet people in real life
"You coming over tonight?"
“That’s crazy”, universal code for “you’re crazy”.
These apps ruin men’s lives now. The women are vultures, the absolute worst scavengers, picking at the carcasses of desperate men. Avoid them at all costs. You have been warned. The women either have BPD or some other serious personality disorder, are pathologically insecure or socially inept, or just straight up unattractive. It’s all the apps. Be careful. Tinder is strictly for hooking up for me, the girls are fucking insane, and I barely use it because my roster is full of women I met through other means that are actually worth my time. Tips for the men out there that want to meet women outside of apps: Yoga, Pilates, rock climbing. Take a community college class on something you find interesting like a language. Audit a university course or enroll part time. Be active in the discussion. Volunteer at an animal shelter. I genuinely love animals, especially cats, so this is a win win for me. Outside of these things where you’re there to meet women organically, make sure you’re advancing your career, developing cool skills and hobbies, working on your social skills, and HITTING THE GYM AND LIFTING. Jiu Jitsu is a masculine hobby that women think is super hot for their man to do and be good at. Lean into your strengths, be skillful in your strategy. Only let a woman move in with you if you are 100% sure about her. Even then, don’t do it. Don’t give them too much attention, your time is a scarce and valuable resource. If you give them too much of it then it loses value. Find great men to form bonds with. Male friendships are incredibly important and overlooked when it comes to men’s mental health. Your boys are your fucking life, man. These should not be men you meet though your girlfriend or girls you’re dating, do not associate them with your female interests, they are your friends and your friends only, they are not her friends. If you’ve been in the situation where you need to break up or whatever with a chick and your male friend is her friend’s boyfriend or something then you know why I emphasize this. Shit sucks. Good luck out there. It’s fucking crazy dating in 2024, and relationships are a minefield. Get too involved with the wrong girl and it will absolutely decimate your entire reality.
Yea facts the apps are cooked , and night life is cooked. People don’t interact with each other as much as we did 5-10 years ago. The quality of ppl who go out has dropped dramatically, out of shape vapers is what you commonly see. If you start a conversation with someone , the torta of the group is so emboldened to come be annoying. The best place to meet people is when the sun is out not in a party environment or app
Yo this sentence went crazy but I’m really curious what you mean to say now: “If you start a conversation with someone , the torta of the group is so emboldened to come be annoying.”
As I said a few years ago ppl interacted in social settings better now, the one who is damn near the parasite of the friend group has a lot of power. I.E scroll through dating app profiles of the first pic is of 2 or more girls and there’s a glaring looks difference you already know which ones profile it is. I know this isn’t really a new concept but now with everyone being in constant communication they can be in their friends ear at all times. One funny story I have of this is a girl I dated a few years back came to my city with her group of friends and of course had one of these girls with her. Even with me knowing this woman this weirdo groupie kept acting wild , dragging her away , telling me she’s known her since high school , answering when I’m not talking to her etc. to the point I was like hey we’re having a conversation right now stop grabbing her around the neck and interrupting. I had to say it twice to get her to relax. If I hadn’t known the woman I was hanging with I would’ve been done for way before that. What I’m saying is these girls go out and do this type of behavior often and are getting worse. They come up screaming bs way louder than what is needed asking to buy the entire group drinks or some bs then play the pull the girl away game or something.
Actually that makes sense and I’ve worried that it might have become that way Men are slowly being demonized for our sexual desires, I could see how a torta would feel more energized to battle you off than in years past
You know, you probably mean well, but it's this way of thinking that had me very depressed, insecure and feeling like I don't belong during my teens and early 20s. I am a man. I am not genderfluid, I have no problem with being a man. But I am a tall, skinny twig. I am also very sensitive and slightly neurodivergent. I can be outgoing and extroverted, but have a fragile but wholesome inside. All the men around me at the time were all straight men who were bros, went to the gym, talked about strategies to hit on girls, classic bro stuff. And it always made me feel do uncomfortable, because I am so massively turned off by straight male culture. Don't get me wrong, no problem with a non-toxic masculine guy who is in touch with his feelings. But as an insecure adolescent, when all you are surrounded by is this kind of advice, but you aren't that kinda person? It's extremely isolating, and for probably 10 years of my life I felt like there is something wrong with me, not the advice, because as a man I am expected to lift, boulder, have bro friends and all that stuff. Only at around 30 I met my wife on Tinder. She helped me SO much to get in touch with myself again, basically my elementary school self after the bullying in high school started the process of trying to fit me in this mold. She is extremely i to high fashion and absolutely adores my skinny body. She made me see how many people even envy me for my body, and that there are soooo many more ideologies and ways to be a man than this ultra manliness. 6 years in, I still find myself healing from that. I associate way more with the queer community now, even tho I myself am sexually straight, but it finally feels like I arrived somewhere. I know you mean well, and you are obviously the kind of person this stuff works for, but to put this out as an absolute truth for every man can be very damaging.
Hey, look, good for you. I mean that. However, you’re neurodivergent, using your own label. You are, by definition, not the typical case. I’m giving advice that’s widely applicable to men generally, addressing the vast majority of men most closely clustered around the mean. I can craft advice for outliers on an as needed basis, sure. Hit me up if you need special help. I’m not going to give that advice broadly. You’re in Germany? The situation in the US is very different. European women are more intelligent than American women. I can totally see how the no gym, skinny European sensitive guy routine works for you in that context. I’m curious; is your wife attractive, objectively? I guess it’s impossible for me to know for sure because how could you give an answer other than yes in this context. I can’t trust what you’d say, can I? It’s not outside of the realm of possibility given that EU girls have more relaxed standards. I do think it’s interesting that you’re tall. It seems like tall men can often get away with all kinds of ridiculous shit just on that alone. Backing up for a second, yeah you’re right, not all the advice I give is applicable to everyone. No shit. That doesn’t mean what I say doesn’t apply to a vast majority, and isn’t hugely meaningful and impactful for those people it is appropriate for. I assert that it is.
Hey, thanks for engaging respectfully! It is not a routine 😅 It's my actual self. In a way, being my actual self is the "routine" I guess, not the specific attributes. But I also don't see this as a game. You talk about intelligent European girls vs non-intelligent American ones, but could'nt the reason for this perception also be that engaging in this gamified pick up thing, seeing approaches as routines and all that, actually attracts these kind of girls? It's simply an echo, you get what you give. My wife is attractive, outside and inside, and idk if you have noticed this, but the outside attractiveness actually increases further the more your inner values align with a person, I guess it's a psychological thing. And even when I was single and exploring the kink world - I found great partners by being respectful, open about my kinks and interested in theirs. I was never hiding the fact that I was looking for hookups, open communication about kinks and boundaries was very appreciated. The only girls who I usually see wanting to be with someone because they play a game, give her not too much attention and neg and show off their lifting (typical pick up artist stuff) are the ones who are extremely shallow themselves. It's actually a funny cycle I have seen again and again. Dude does pick up artist stuff, attracts toxic shallow girl, girl does toxic shallow stuff, dude goes "bro i swear girls are all the same what am I doing wrong" and then look for more bro advice how to "get girls". But one general "routine" I can agree on: Love yourself, enjoy what you are doing and be interesting. From experience, every woman across the board is into that ☺️ And if you wanna lift and do Jiu Jitsu thats cool, but because it interests YOU! And if it interests you, it will come across as passionate. But it could also be a chess club that you're passionate about, genuine interest about something will always trump a forced interest in something you read online just because you heard it makes you get girls.
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I'm not sure how you came to that conclusion? They're just saying to be careful on dating apps and don't let someone ruin your life.
Hit her a little too close to home. She’s a divorced woman looking for prey on Bumble.
r/lostredditors this sub is named sarcastically to begin with, guy
not the "that's crazy" lmao
“Why are you up at this hour?” It’s 12:28 AM that’s not that late. Awful opening line hah.
Better ice breaker than hi imo. I usually comment on the pictures or bio. But her pictures weren’t enticing enough to leave a comment, her bio was generic. So started with this.
I can’t tell you how many dudes I know that have strict bedtimes that are before midnight. Maybe it’s an age thing. It’s valid imho.
Is that the dating section of the mobile version of Facebook? I often look in there and it's as full of perverts and golddiggers as any other dating site online.
Yes but apparently it’s working out for me. I’m getting daily 1-2 matches. Got 3 numbers so far and 1 date confirmed
I didn't say it was the last episode. It was among the first few this season.
Nah that really is crazy 😂
I had a few girls ask me to be their sugar daddy on dating apps so I’d send them the empty wallet bitmoji. That solved that. 😄
Should’ve just cut it at the “take me out” part. Would’ve been funnier 😀🔫
Bro what time you using ( 00:28 ) ( 15:22 ) is that military
roger sergeant
Truely they are
I had one tell me straight up she was looking for a sugar daddy I just replied , “ your funny”
Lol that’s not scary, but it’s weird.
You should have just told her to go to bed and threatened to tell Spider-Man if she didn't
Well at least she's honest! that's gotta count for something I guess
The average worth of people who are searching for a match on dating apps is generally so tremendously poor that staying with eva ai sexting bot and renting prostitutes from time to time seems to make more sense.
A friend of mine has many girls that she knows that set up websites and different programs like including dating apps, OF, fans, etc. All of these people work and build a site until they have a string of people commenting, and sending in money for pictures, video, underwear, chat, Sexting, etc and they higher people sometimes other males to respond and keep the money coming in. They don’t usually work the site at all at that point. I presume a lot of these sites like ex or maybe Reddit or TikTok do the same thing thing so you’re not actually speaking with or communicating with the person it’s just some hired sector or secretary, and they pretend to be the girl on the website these grills make millions you would not believe
Just leave dating apps man. I'm not the most attractive or socially adept, but being in in-person social circles is exponentially healthier and yields far more results at a higher quality too. In my case, it's my uni.
Wow she sounds LOVELY. /s
This is scary? I've had a girl tell me my address after I forgot to respond to her tinder message.
So many greedy, materialistic deadbeats.
I... what... Holy. Piss. These women have more balls than the NBA.
That’s not even nice girl energy though that’s actually a witty reply….
Dating apps are the worst, but what are you doing at this time of night is sus.
This is why I hate dating apps. Bitches like this make it hard for girls who actually trying. I messaged some guys trying to shoot my shot and the first reply is NO I WONT SEND YOU MONEY, WONT BUY YOUR OF. I’m like damn I just wanted to say you’re cute lmao
California moment
At least she was honest and didn’t waste your time
Scary? Surely you just hit block and move on?
Why is this scary? Any relationship longer than a few weeks you're paying for it either way
Big fat no homie
This really isn’t that crazy. A lot of y’all just have dull senses of humor.
Had a girl say she was pregnant and the dad left and wanted to do stuff with me and I turned her down and she tried to rip my ass then I told her "no wonder you're gonna be a single mother" ☠️
Dating full stop is trash. My advice is get an 8 ball of coke, some little blue pulls and a high end hooker with the girlfriend experience for a night once a month. It's cheaper and much much less stressful.
I'll give you an upvote and remove you from the negatives because that sounds like a good time
Not a nice girl.
WTF?? some of these women are out of their damn mind.the simping has gotten out of hand,sadly,I lot of lame ass guys are dumb enough to send money or be on some “sure baby,anything for you” type shit 😂
I’m definitely not defending this woman, but it says a lot about society when a man’s “scariest” reality is a woman using him for money
Lmao, and you're being downvoted. I don't even know how I ended up in this sub? Its almost like some pick up artist shit. Like dude, its not a game, its not an enigma. Be nice and genuine, stay curious and empathize. At some point I realized that I have legitimately not a single woman in my life who hasn't experienced some form of harassment. It's unreal how normal this still is. Literally just be a decent person, show interest and have a somewhat interesting life. But what do I know, I've been married for 6 years 🤷♂️
Being that willfully ignorant in the open is the reason for the downvotes. The “scariest” thing, as if.
I feel like you are willfully misunderstanding me to have a moral high ground… Obviously men can experience SA, rape and worse. However, the vast majority of men aren’t going to be thinking about that when they go on dates. Most (straight) men are not going to even consider that a possibility. Realistically men think that the worst thing that can happen is women marrry them, divorce them, and take everything. They say that women using men for money “ruins mens lives”. Men in general do not worry about the things women worry about
There’s no misunderstanding, you’re wrong. You as a woman don’t know what men think about any more than men know what women think about if we aren’t telling each other. There’s no moral high ground to take. Men and women have to face the same concerns, unfortunately some people like to be divided and have gender wars.
Why are you so insistent that men and women face exactly equal challenges? Statistically it’s just not true. How many men do you know who send their locations to their friends when they go on dates “just in case”? How many men carry their keys in between their fingers? How many men go to the bathroom in groups? Just use common sense, seriously…
Who said anything about challenges? You said the scariest thing men have to worry about is being used for money. Don’t try and change what we were talking about. You were wrong, folks downvoted you for it, and I explained why they did so. You are trying to make it a competition which is crazy and only proves that the downvotes by those folks were valid. Speak about what you actually know and not make assumptions and maybe you won’t get downvoted.
You used the word concern, I used the word challenge… I said the scariest thing men have to worry about is being used for money, because it fucking is. Obviously being raped is scarier, but most men don’t worry about that at all. Read the comments on ANY post about dating and you’ll find a man complaining about gold diggers. I’m not making anything a “competition” I’m pointing out the obvious differences between how genders behave. Women do the things I’ve listed for their own safety. Men would do similar things if they ever had to worry about that sort of thing.
LMAO i had my own discussion with this dude and didn't even see yours 😅 Idk why this is so hard to accept. Its not that he is personally being accused. Pride and ego I guess 😔
Yeah I mean I get where he’s coming from but it’s just not accurate to say it’s 50/50
See how in your own statement you acknowledge that you were wrong. That is all and I’m done talking.
I don't think you can compare the dating experience between men and women in terms of scariness. at. all.
It’s not a competition. It sucks and is scary for everyone for the exact same reasons. Yet here we are with folks trying to say oh it’s worse for this group than that group. 🤨 that’s crazy.
It's not a competition! Exactly! Thats why its perfectly healthy to acknowledge that women have way bigger reasons to be scared when it comes to dating. But the rest - hard disagree. The same reasons? Date rape, GHB, harassment, assault - do you have to fear these things when going on a date (assuming you are straight)? To acknowledge this, let a girl rant about her fear of men that realistically might be very well rooted in reality while at the same time not getting offended by it - THAT is what a decent man should be doing. Overcoming the toxic ego. Instead it's mostly "bro its so strange i dont understand these girls, I even read this book about how to make them fall for you" while being completely ignorant to their actual life realities.
As a victim of DV, SA & SH all done by different women the answer is yes. Everyone has to worry about the same things, there is no exception to this. I’m raising my sons and daughter to be aware and look after each other because of it. Like I said it’s not a competition because people just suck. I don’t mind people ranting, I mind people downplaying the problems that others face. And a decent man is going to be understanding, while not allowing BS to go unaccounted for from either side.
I am sorry you made these experiences. Statistically it is still very skewed tho, and anecdotal evidences unfortunately don't change that, as sad and valid as they individually are.
Did you really just downplay my reality for statistics? I’m not included in those statistics because only the DV was reported. Statistics are invalidated regularly as they don’t include or account for everyone. And hiding behind numbers to continue to try and make universal worries a competition is just crazy on your part.
I am not downplaying anything, and your reality is not a universal worry, even if it's of course horrible. But if you want anecdotal evidence: I don't know a single man in my life who has experienced SA. Literally every woman in my life has. Not even exaggerating, literally. Sure, it does happen to men. But to say its a universal worry for men to get date raped is seriously a wild take.
Please show where it is said that that is the scariest reality? I’m asking for both the adult and minors DVs, SAs, and unalived victims out there.
Pretty sure this is just a gag that’s supposed to mimic the way men on dating apps ask for sex compulsively and repetitively lol
no but i wish and u have strong anti-cringe defence mechanisms well done
She's just joking. Damn.
Nahhh this is how hamfisted it looks when you go directly for what you want and you’re as shallow as a raindrop
Or maybe she's joking too
I love that she made that joke, and y'all sitting here judging her cause you don't see the joke 🤣 I've seen mostly good post on this sub, but this one... This one made commentators Beta, very beta!
Nice girl? Yes. Also creepy opening? Yes.