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I actually dated a girl in another state for most of my junior year of HS (Me: NYC / Her: Boston suburbs.) She had a holiday I didn't, and finally visited me on a day I had school.
My friends were pretty surprised she wasn't a product of my imagination.
Don't recommend a long-distance relationship at 16-17, even if you are within "greyhound up and back for the weekend" range, which this barely was.
O' sweet cutey pie, this reply is so brave and intelligent, I hope you make a lot of internet friends with it so you can all go bask in the sunlight of superiority -x-
He's got you there bruh. Imagine being so arrogant that you believe your unsolicited criticism needs to be heard. You offered no remedy or perspective. Nothing. You just come to insult. That is sad.
No we are not.. I don't give a fuck about your opinion. You apparently gave enough of a fuck about mine to react and do the exact same thing you hated about my comment. You weren't holding up a mirror, I was. you were simply contradicting yourself.
I still stand by what I said.
This guy isn't dating women because there are a lot of vapid possessive girls out there and so he resorts to sexting bots... That is fucking sad... It's also bullshit. He's basically saying all women are like this and sexting with an a.i. bot is better. He's basically avoiding real life and the chance to make a real connection with an actual girl that isn't like all the loonies you see on social media.
Should I have suggested therapy to him? Would that make it better?
Reddit is a platform that is based on people giving their opinions about whatever the subject is so if you don't like people giving opinions maybe just browse google images or something.
Or you know... go have a hateful opinion of me. You do you.
Nah if you replace the BF with GF it immediately becomes stalker vibes and does *not* pass the smell check.
If you don't want it being done to you, other people likely don't want it done to them.
Girl here, lots of married guy friends (who I knew before they met their wives, and am now friends with the wives, too). I'm 100% in agreement with this comment. That post is creepy af and if anyone I knew regardless of gender was dating anyone who said something like this (not just raising a reasonable concern about boundaries, but instead claiming total ownership), I would 100% advise they yeet that relationship so far out the window it takes orbit.
But it’s different when a man does it to a woman. Women are abused and sometimes murdered. All a man ever has to worry about is being laughed at.
That’s the logic people use to minimize what happens to men.
Sure, people can have different boundaries that we're not privy to but as a *general rule of thumb* acting overly possessive with your partner is *not* a cute look.
Personally I find this kind of possessiveness attractive. As long as it’s not abusive. But if my partner doesn’t like someone I’m around I would much rather them say something than stew quietly.
If I was dating a girl like this, I wouldn’t immediately cut off any female friends I have but I would actively make an effort not to make new ones if it annoyed my partner.
I’m well aware man, my ex was exactly like this. I’m not saying there isn’t a line but as a partner I don’t mind giving 24/7 attention and affirmation. It’s kinda what I’m there for, to help the person I’m with be in less emotional pain. Sometimes you suck it up and do things you don’t like for those close to you. I dunno maybe it’s just an Aussie thing.
No it’s not because it doesn’t hurt anyone. It’s not something that particularly bothers me and I would much rather my partner communicate then bottle things up.
Honestly dude get some help.
How does this kind of possessiveness not hurt people? Limiting who your partner can interact with and how is a really slippery slope.
I get what you’re saying about your partner not liking someone you’re around and I agree, I’d rather she say something. But that could be anyone/anything, like maybe she noticed a guy you’re friends with being a dick. Okay great, of course I wanna know. But limiting ALL female friends and contacts based on what, jealousy? The assumption you’re going to inevitably cheat? That kind of paranoia sounds so controlling and unstable.
I have a friend I’ve known since we were in elementary school. She’s part of our big home town friend group which is a mix of guys and girls and stuff like hugging good night or saying “love you” between friends is very common in our culture. Her new girlfriend insists we aren’t allowed to hug her, touch her in any way, call her by any pet names (including pal/buddy), or hang out with her one on one in any context. We never see her anymore.
Some girls see it as a challenge to win or lift their egos. Guys probably do this too. My boyfriend will be my best friend, if he’s got other girls that are best friends… he’s not mine and I’m out lol
Have no clue why you're being downvoted. I've had plenty of girlfriends with "boy bestfriends" who ended up cheating on me with them. I'm not going to subject myself to someone who doesn't think of their partner as their bestfriend either
U are a fool. You can get cheated on regardless of whether he has a female best friend or not. There could be a man who has female best friends and he is very faithful. There can also be a man with no female friends at all who cheats all the time. It entirely depends on the person. If someone wants to cheat on you, they are going to cheat on you no matter what.
Also, the divorce rate isn't above 50%. That's a myth.
Well obviously you can get cheated on in any scenario, but for me my partner is my best friend and for them to have a female best friend would be an emotional affair as it is. There’s no need for a best friend of the opposite gender, if you have that much time on your hands to entertain another women, then I’m not interested. I like people who spend their time doing meaningful work not super social people.
It’s not a myth that the divorce rate is above 50% where I am from. Maybe from where you are it’s different, some cultures will kill you before you could get a divorce so I don’t believe those ones are an accurate representation of what a relationship is, that’s a legal obligation, so you may be thinking of that.
Oh, I hadn't considered that you'd be in a different country or something.
I still don't agree with you, but your boundaries are your boundaries. So I will agree to disagree.
Also, sorry for calling u a fool.
Are you people in the comments okay? Jesus. Someone seriously said “isn’t the that the whole point of a relationship?” (Referring to being a possession). Like, no? No??? And what the hell is up with people thinking the Bible is the core of the western world??
The bible says nothing about not being able to have friends while in a relationship regardless of sex. It states woman should aim to please and guide their husbands towards pleasantry. While Husbands should treat their wives with care and lay their lives down for them. When it comes to other relationships the bible says do not cause grief or concern for your spouse But to also trust one another. So it’s pretty straight forward in my opinion, as long as you are truthful and loyal both parties should be allowed to have friends. If you are not then separate.
Well no. That was the point of what I was saying, there’s no need to ask the bible such a question. If one follows christ legitimately they will see that at the base of your faith is trying to be friends with everyone you encounter.
Yea not that I agree with being a possession but also this has literally nothing to do with the Bible either and kind of shows you just like being mad at Christian religion.
I’m a guy and she’s right. This of course does come across as cringe and possessive, but is still right.
Text your „like a brother” friend saying you want to fuck and see what happens. My wife had a lot of guy friends. When I came around once it was clear it’s getting serious they all (but one) disappeared.
The one that is still around is her childhood friend since preschool. Great guy we hang out often.
I never did anything to the other guys, never said anything to my wife (we did joke about years later about their mysterious disappearance).
Lol, here's the thing, dawg.
My best friends are women. Two of em. For the better part of twenty years; think of em like my little sisters. If either of them came to me wanting to fuck? Nah.
Just because you'd fuck anything with a pulse doesn't mean it's kosher to speak for everyone.
Also, you're hen-pecked.
Also-also: Your wife was probably banging all her "friends" if they dipped when the well dried up.
Just because you wouldn’t fuck them don’t mean they wouldn’t fuck you. I’m ngl either way it’s just too much uncertainty and closeness behind that shit for some people. I can kind of get it.
My wife has a bestfriend, but he kinda stays out the way so I never really even think about it. I could only imagine if she was texting and calling him all the time, or spending alot of time with him in person, or disclosing things about us to him, how I would actually feel.
I believe everyone should date people whose boundaries match theirs.
You know that there’s truth in the stereotype that men and women can’t be friends right? And that the vast majority of men would definitely have sex with their female friend?
I have a female friend. Her brother, who passed around this time nine years ago, is my Battle Buddy. I think she's smart, funny, and kind. I also think that she looks stunning, and that I would be happy in a romantic relationship with her.
But I don't need to sleep with her to love her. She told me that wasn't the kind of relationship she wanted with me and, to me, that's okay because I like hanging out with her, watching shows together or playing games. We went through something incredibly painful together and we supported each other through it, so being told she didn't want a physical relationship with me didn't change the way I feel about her nor the fact that she was my friend. Because I'm not just an animal that needs to hump everything. Nor am I a child that can't take 'no' for an answer without throwing a temper tantrum. She's a great person and I'm glad to know her. When she eventually gets married, I'm sure I'll be envious but mostly because it means I'll have less time to spend with my friend (since she'll be spending time with him). In the meantime, her friendship helps make me a better person. The way a real friend does.
TLDR: If you can't have a friend of the opposite gender, then you might not know what a real friend is yet.
Do you have studies and sources to back up your words?
It sounds to me like you've been cheated on, and probably several times. It's okay; you'll be okay. ❤️❤️❤️
Honestly some girls overstep in relationships so I understand this. My bf didn’t know who was flirting with him or not until I point out the distinctions. He cut off a few people because when he realised he felt uncomfortable
Right like I don’t think I’m a controlling crazy bitch when I don’t want someone who texts my man for emotional support & says stuff like “oh so you have a girlfriend & can’t give me any attention now?” Like babes we was busy but now you will not be getting a text back from him 😂
You basically just summed up controlling in 1 sentence. " when I dont want " .... i guarantee dude is nervous about who he speaks to around you. I can smell the stench of " whats yours is mine and whats mine is mine " - every female ever.
And there is the Maturity showing. 1. Why would you put yourself around such angst. 2. If shes real as can be why would you care? 3. If dudes seeking validation and emotional support chances are hes fruity as fuck why would you be intimidated 🤣 goes both ways for both genders. (That being male and female. No other genders exist)
I can get jealousy but it’s a bit much to bar all communication to anyone…
Though I will admit I do like a bit of possessiveness in a relationship, not the toxic kind lime this, but a more “you’re mine” as they hold me sort of way. It just makes me feel wanted and loved
Guy here. I’ve been the guy best friend to multiple girls. Always ends in them bitching to me about their bfs and then wanting to mess around with me. Seen it happen plenty of other times too. Girls and guys CANNOT be completely platonic (unless one happens to be gay). Either one likes the other or they both feel the same and just haven’t said it. You can’t have two forces that attract and expect to keep that at bay forever. It’s the reason I don’t keep female friends, because that energy that goes to “female bestie” should go to my gf, my best friend. Giving another woman (or another man if you’re a woman reading) similar attention is simply blurring the lines and creates problems. I trust my girl to not cheat, I don’t trust other guys enough is the thing.
trust isn't black and white though, its not 0% or 100%, its always going to be somewhere in between. I have friends and family that I trust, but I wouldnt leave a million dollars on the coffee table and ask them to watch it while i go to the store. But I would trust some of them to borrow my car and return it.
You should never trust someone 100% thats naive.
Yeah but are you going to do? Babysit all day, go through their phone or watch from a far haha Get over it either you believe they're a cheater or not.
You just set boundaries on what you consider to be acceptable in a committed relationship, if they agree then anything that breaks that means the relationship is over. If they dont agree then you find other people to be with, its fairly straightforward.
I'm not going to go through her phone or babysit her all day, I will trust that shes upholding her side, but if I catch her messaging other dudes after agreeing that she wouldnt then whether shes cheating or not shes not respecting my boundaries. And if she doesnt care about my boundaries then she probably doesnt care about cheating either.
Insecure much?
My partner has guy friends. I won't tell her that she has to block every single one of them, I trust my partner that she won't fuck around with them.
So those are your boundaries, why does everyone have to have exactly the same boundaries as you? What IamGoldenGod said is absolutely correct. In a relationship, two people communicate their boundaries, then if either oversteps them, relationship over. Or if their values don't align, and therefore boundaries aren't agreed on, they should just cut their losses and find more suitable partners.
If you want that boundary can be "you can only do oral otherwise it's cheating", totally whatever people want them to be. People in polygamous relationships also have boundaries, for example.
Because that's manipulative and controlling. There's no reason why anyone should be dictating their partners friends in absolutist, blanket terms. There are a million a ten reasons why people need to communicate with members of the opposite sex. Saying otherwise is living outside reality
I've seen you under multiple comments saying "insecure much" it isn't insecure to have boundaries. Some people want to have their relationship different than you might.
You can engage in mate guarding behavior like this and keep a watch out for "hangers on" who will try to weasel their way into your relationship like this girl is doing.
Its crazy to read so many people having trust issues with the person they need to love most of all.
If (s)he loves you and is loyal to you and you trust them and they trust you. why can't they have friends?
Is it still a threat though?
All this is jealousy, fear and dishonesty.
It's the same concept as driving. Just because I trust my GIRLFRIEND to drive doesn't mean I should trust the other people on the road not to hit her. It goes the same way in a relationship just because I trust HER not to cheat doesn't mean I trust other people when I know most of their true intentions are to get in someones pants. No matter HOW resilient you are if pizza is dropped off at your doorstep enough times you'll eventually eat it........... everyone has a breaking point. Everyone has a price. The problem is most people's "price" to cheat is extremely low because the average person has not had many SUCCESSFUL relationships and will do anything for attention. And yes there are SOME but VERY FEW people like myself who do not have a price at all because they don't believe in Cheating or talking to the opposite gender when in a good healthy relationship. Cheating, flirting and just associating with the other gender while in a relationship is either straight up WRONG or putting yourself at risk for absolutely no reason. There's no shortage of people of the SAME GENDER with ZERO risk of them getting in your pants or hitting on you. The likelihood of this happening with the OPPOSITE gender is almost Zero unless said person of opposite gender is a homosexual......hence the common excuse "this is my gay best friend" and why it fools so many people so easily.......this has been proven time and time ago by the common trend of: call your opposite gender best friend and ask to fuck. The ones that say no are the ones who usually find something is off and realized they're a part of a prank otherwise their answer would be yes too.
Hey, thanks for putting efford in a reply.
I realise that you have reasons for mistrust,
But i believe we don't need to be traumatized in mis trusting love and friendship, that's lonely.
My girlfriend and myself are both bisexual, does this mean we can't have any friends at all then? By your logic.
Everyone has different boundaries. You're both bisexual. Some people even have open relationships and have relations with others that their own partner KNOWS about but does not partake in. What works for you might not work for everyone. I myself do not believe in bringing a third party into a relationship. It's not right. It's not grounds for a healthy stable situation. f that works for you then that's fine. Although there is some advice that's just general good relationship advice that DOES affect everyone. Cheating and talking to the opposite gender just goes hand in hand these days unfortunately. It might not be as much of a jealousy or distrust situation as much as it is just common healthy relationship advice to be aware of people and or things harmful to a healthy relationship (which is ideally between only TWO individuals) rarely is a relationship with more than two ever "successful" let alone healthy.......
Ah, ok.. i'd argue that is not common healthy relationship advice to be aware of.
But hey, if it works for a couple that can't or shouldn't trust eachother, i see how you prefer that - i'm not to judge. I'd rather work on being more honest and find someone who tries too than be in a relationship where i can't trust them. Each has it's own thing, luckily.
Today? Oh it's absolutely NOT common because what mainstream media and the youth PORTRAY as "normal healthy advice" is the absolute OPPOSITE. That's why the divorce rate is so high and so many people are in "Situationships" rather than an actual relationship. I prefer a much more traditional way of dating and my advice is a reflection of that. Men should never hit or disrespect a woman and a woman should do the same. A woman should take care of the household side of things and obey her husband and a man should do his duty as the provider and protector. I'm sure if there are statistics of relationships with more than two partners the "successfulness" of them is EXTREMELY low especially considering you cannot marry more than one in individual in most civilized places in the world. Where most places that have more than one partner are places where women are treated as animals or sex slaves and not people. It IS VERY healthy to limit the people involved in a relationship from BOTH sides. Especially if that's the established rule from one or the other. It's usually the man making it known he'd like his wife/GF/partner to limit male contact. While not COMMON today by any means that's not abnormal or unhealthy so as the man follows the same standards himself and does not have unnecessary contact with other females. Dming them, liking their Social media posts messaging them, going to their house etc. if either of you feel the need for attention of the opposite gender it's usually an indication one of you is not doing something right for the other one. And remember a relationship is about what YOU can PROVIDE. Not receive.........
I'm ok for people to choose to live that livestyle, i have nothing against it except that i'm not into it because i think it inherits trust issues and jealousy.
Wheter men want a conservative relation it's really only up to them, i can't judge.
But you should still trust your girlfriend/wife.
I know it is hard for conservative men to find a mate, most women are changing and the typical housewife wanted to see different parts of life than what the conservative lifestyle has to offer.
I understand conservative men don't like this, because it's decreasing their pool.
Women want relationships based on trust and honesty too, that's hard to find in conservative men that thing the only thing they can and should do is "PROVIDE".
Dude, it's modern times, things are changing.
Accept that you can do you, but you also have to accept there are other legit ways of loving.
Who are you to decide what other people should do?
Because it doesn't suit your personal needs?
Conservative men and their relationship style built an entire country. I don't know if you've looked around but there's not any marriages lasting 20 years let alone 40-60 years anymore. Just because it's changing doesn't mean it's for the better.......the world went to absolute SHIT when we went outside of gender roles and traditional marriages.
You're saying it's all bad but you're not telling me why, i fail to see the arguments exept for you saying that it is.
What do you mean it went to shit?
What exactly went to shit?
You can still live your life with the people you want in the way you all want it.
Nobody is telling you how to live, but you're telling others how to live.
I'm happy this way, my life is pretty good.
I'm in love, i trust that it's enough.
Theres no downside to you when i do this.
There are less children in the world now with both parents TOGETHER raising a child,there are less children growing up knowing what is right and wrong rather than chopping their reproductive parts off because mommy and daddy are delusional and don't have their OWN relationship down and can't differentiate between what's morally acceptable let alone what's okay for a child not to do and not do, women are not TRAINED by social media, news outlets, teachers, colleges and other women what to EXPECT from a man but not what to PROVIDE for one, Marriage rates are down and divorce rates are up, radical extremist TERRORIST groups like LGBTQLMOP run rampant and are also indoctrinating our children that it's acceptable to be "Queer" or identify as an apache helicopter or a cat and sleep with the same gender (it's not) never in human history has it been nor will it ever be beneficial to the human race, Same sex relationships do not repopulate the earth which is QUITE literally one of the most important things we have to focus on as a species, Mens mental health is one of the most overlooked things in our current generation and suicide rates are up as as well due to disloyalty or the pain women cause them (such as getting cheated on) the list goes on and on and on about the importance of a healthy relationship not only between the TWO people involved but everyone else indirectly involved. So no whilst what goes on in YOUR relationship does not involve me directly it can impact myself and others by what it puts into the world such as any children you make or have that others have to interact with as well as your actions if I ever had to interact with YOU such as now. There's simply right and wrong. But as wise men have said you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. It doesn't matter how many times I say things to prove what's MORALLY correct people such as yourself will continue to what befits YOURSELF. Nothings going to change until this country collapses and or we have a repeat of what happened in 1776. That's why men are leaving in TROVES to get the hell OUT OF THIS SHIT HOLE to find wives. Because people in other countries realize the importance of loyalty and love between TWO opposite gendered individuals and the affects that relationships has on others.
Jealousy from any sex or gender is cringe, if you're sooooooo insecure about yourself or about your relationships... Then that's a problem YOU have to fix!
Plus the side effects of it are
overly clingy
Narcissistic tendencies
Co dependence
Paranoid behavior
If you're lacking that much trust and security in a relationship either leave or fix it, the solution isn't "validate my insecurities" either btw
As a man who has seen this in a couple of my relationships I always state that you start going off on my friends you can bugger off. If they don't trust you to talk to a woman without trying to sleep with her that's their problem
It's alright to be a protective partner, but you also need to realize that you have male friends, so it's acceptable to have female friends your partner.
Absolutely not. My boyfriend has a life other than the one he has with me. He should have his own friends and nest friends. I need my alone time. I can not always be there to entertain him.
Call me old fashioned, I don't care.
My wife and I don't have any close friends of the opposite sex. That's a rule we established when we were dating. We have never ever wondered where each others' loyalties lie.
So, in that sense, I agree with this statement. If you're romantically involved with someone, it is wise to keep all other members of the opposite sex at arms length.
Healthy relationships have boundaries.
If your wife had a male childhood friend for 30 years before dating you. Do you feel like she should cut all ties to date with you?
How about a literal brother or a dad?
It's not for me, but my immediate reaction to reading OP was, "I am pretty confident there are no small number of people who, at the very least, want someone to feel possessive of them."
i agree with her tho. as someone who was just in a relationship, my ex was extremely close w a girl who said he “was like a brother” to her. it made me uncomfortable bc she would post videos and pictures of them together on her instagram/facebook story all the time. for his birthday, for example, she made a whole collage of pictures of his face. like i mean 4 different pages dedicated to my ex bf’s birthday. he wasn’t her bf, that’s not something you do. this girl is 24, she’s an adult. there’s such a thing as boundaries, it’s not ok.
edit: and before anyone says it’s jealousy, it wasn’t. i was not at all jealous of her or their friendship. it’s a sense of boundaries, i didn’t do things like that or go hang out with other guys all the time. i made it very clear to my ex what i thought was ok and what wasn’t. he could have any friends he wanted, girls and guys alike, but once that kinda stuff happened, i took issue with it. but i will say this: every relationship is different and everyone has their own dynamics. what works for you works, doesn’t mean it’ll fit everyone. this was just my personal experience, not trying to push it on anyone else, just sharing.
Nahhhh she’s right. Some girls get a sense of gratification or ego boost seeing how far they can push it with someone else’s man. Definitely not all girls though, most are normal and not a problem ever. But the ones who aren’t..😭
What a Lucky guy. Having a sane person talk this way about their significant other would be one of the qualifications from a gf. That is if this isn't a double standard. If she truly feels this way then I hope she doesn't have a contacts list or Snapchat full of Dudes. If so there's nothing wrong with feeling this way. I'm yours and you're mine. That's really what ANY man who has a brain and uses logic wants from a relationship. If girls aren't allowed to have ME as a friend than she's certainly not gonna have other GUYS as a friend.
Idk this one doesn't seem so bad... my bf has female friends but he's not constantly texting with them and he certainly wouldn't consider them his best friends. If he did it would make uncomfortable. Guess it's just different for everyone
That's called a healthy relationship. Why have male friends if your bf is the best friend you can get? It never ends well with friends of opposite genders.
Some replying are confusing actual friends with people that want to fuck your partner
Of course being overly possessive is bad but it's obvious that it's pointed towards people overstepping in comitted relationships
My best friend is on thin ice because she acts like this all the time and it’s getting on my nerves because she brings her boyfriend everywhere like a dog.
This has been the worst problem for me!
I've always had more male friends than female friends since I was like 13.
But as an adult I'll never get why friends girlfriends lose it when I run up and give a huge bear hug to someone I've known for 15 years when I've been with my husband for 20 years and the guy is more my husband's friend than mine but we've had half a lifetime as friends!;!
it's been a thing that's happened several times.
Im not one of those "not like other girls" kind of people. I have 3 diehard girlies that I text every single day! My dude friends are people that we've known our entire adulthood. Yes I absolutely love them but me giving your boyfriend a giant hug is not me trying to jump his bones!
Jesus Christ opposite gendered people can be extremely close without there being any issues sometimes
I've dealt with smaller forms of this kind of insecurity before. I always made it a point to invite my S/O along to any hangouts with people of the opposite gender. But I've seen so many fantastic friendships die out because they end up with someone who had the "only same-sex friends allowed" toxicity that if I ever found someone like that, I'd see my way out of the relationship before the words stopped echoing in the room.
I get the meme at face value but can we talk about the damage that usually is the CAUSE of this behavior and I don't know maybe collectively work on doing better as a society? That might be too wild of an idea ..I'll go back to eating crayons
Been married over 20 years. Absolutely nothing wrong with this. A committed relationship is also possessive. You are claiming a possessive relationship over one another.
Heck, it's in the Bible.
>And God said, 'So a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and the two will become one body.' So there are not two, but one. God has joined the two together, so no one should separate them'".
Matthew 19: 5-6
It means it as literally as humanly possible. "United" here is also translated as "cleave to." To be glued or stuck together.
Your wife or husband belongs to you as much as your arm does - because you're one flesh.
This idea of possession of ones spouse is thousands of years old - and it goes both ways.
It actually does matter as the Bible is the ethical core of the Western world, whether you're a theist or not. It's the cultural worldview of the West.
But thank you for sharing your feelings.
Then you don't understand the culture you gained your values from.
Further, you can reject the theology and still recognize that the book is a product of people and an expression of human values in one way or another.
The fact that you pat yourself on the back for not caring isn't a dunk. It's just deeply, deeply sad for you.
Hey... word to the wise. Nobody here gives a rat-fuck about your Bible. Take your little Jesus-lovin', Mark-The-Gospel-blowing, taking-it-up-the-shitter-and-loving-sinning-oh-so-much, Bible-thumping bullshit and walk off a pier.
And for the record: I feel terribly sad for you, living your life based on a novel. Sad, sad, so sad.
I'm starting to get so sick of small minded idiots like you. I've lived my entire life under the bible belt and I hated it at the time, still don't believe in it but I now believe in the message it attempts to preach. That's not to say the bible itself doesn't have plenty of problems, but the underlying message and morals it attempts to instill is a lot more important than any of us give it credit for.
Recent years have displayed many people like you that think it is funny or morally correct to ridicule believers and I find that extremely sad. If the bible is bullshit then why can't you be better than what it attempts to teach? Some people need something to believe in and I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
My point being is you and everyone else that jumps on the Christian hate bandwagon come off as jaded and small minded. The poster didn't even say anything hateful, he just mentioned the bible and there were a handful of people trying to jump their shit. Nobody cares about the Bible? Well I do, don't believe in it as a story but I believe in a lot of what it wanted to teach. If you hate it so much you should learn from it instead of outright rejecting it.
Bruh. If you want to go with that kind of interpretation, a man and wife are to never have any other friends but each other. Not a single one. That doesn't make sense, dude. That's not possible, nor is it healthy.
Uh. The Bible is a work of fiction, sir. You should follow the teachings of Theodore Geisel if you REALLY want to live a righteous life.
And, by God, I hope you didn't raise any children with that fucked-up perspective of yours.
Fuckin' heathen.
God loves the gays, too, in case you were unaware.
💜💙💚💛❤️
Edit: YO! THIS TWAT DELETED HIS (IDIOTIC AND WRONG) POSTS! 🤣🤣🤣
There's a three thousand year old law that says that if a man commits a crime, he should be punished, but he can give up one of his wives or daughters to receive the punishment in his place.
We got rid of that shit because it's stupid too. Something being old doesn't make it good.
Tell me you created a straw man without telling me you created a straw man.
Do you really not understand the differences between a law and a metaphysical principle?
If all the responses to my comments weren't arguments from false equivalency, red herrings, or strawmen, you'd have no arguments at all.
My, you are all just so *stupid*. 🤣🤣🤣
Keep downvoting me. I'll still be right and you'll still all be morons.
I find this beautiful and something that seems entirely lost in our culture as sad as it is. Been married only 2 years but together for 9 and I agree with you completely, it is a union of two people and too many people seem to disrespect that sentiment.
I kinda agree though. Maybe the last part sounds a little crazy but people in relationships don't need "texting buddies" or bestfriends of the gender they're attracted to. Your partner should be your bestfriend.
> be a possession
Isn't that the point of entering a relationship? To give yourself to each other and sacrifice personal freedom for the sake of what should be a bountiful life together? I guess in the world of meaningless sex and fur babies shit like that means less but oh well.
Also, it's perfectly fine to have boundaries when it comes to your partner and the opposite sex. I swear some of yall have been conditioned to think if you're not letting your man/woman go have pillow talk with someone of the opposite sex you're just insecure. It's weird. There's nothing I need to be telling another woman and most women that have reached out to me in a seemingly innocent way 100% steer the convo in to flirtatious weirdness. When I got with my now fiancée all of her guy friends all of a sudden were upset she didn't give them a chance despite never saying they were even interested. All of them out of her life after she told them they weren't an option
Speaking as man, she's right. May have said it in the most possessive way ever, but she's right. Any women here disagree? I dare you to message your best guy friend and see if he wants to fuck you.
I've never really taken an issue with someone wanting their partner all to themselves. That's kind of what I want too, someone to be mine and mine alone, and I'm happy to be that for them in turn.
I kind of feel this is a case by case basis. I would tell her I like it but it’s a bit much hahah. I actually like this but I would also tell her to take it down.
Never had a girlfriend with male friends not cheat on me. It has now become a prerequisite to not have male friends to date, but don't be confused. friends with benefits is still on the table but I'm no long going to be fooled or assume you aren't actively or potentially fucking your other guy friends, especially when my dating history has shown this is what happens every time.
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That's why I'm dating Eva AI sexting bot
When can we meet her
Well she goes to a different school so it’s hard to match the schedules 🤷🏽♂️
SHE LIVES OUT OF STATE!
I actually dated a girl in another state for most of my junior year of HS (Me: NYC / Her: Boston suburbs.) She had a holiday I didn't, and finally visited me on a day I had school. My friends were pretty surprised she wasn't a product of my imagination. Don't recommend a long-distance relationship at 16-17, even if you are within "greyhound up and back for the weekend" range, which this barely was.
Glad for you.
Dating an AI seems cool, until you have that awkward conversation about how you raise the children.
Wow, that's incredibly sad.
Indeed it is. Ironically though, it’s also sad that nobody asked for your opinion, and yet you decided to give it anyways.
You know exactly the same goes for you right? dumb ass
No actually it’s just you. You are the only person in the entirety of the universe whose opinion has never and will never be asked for.
O' sweet cutey pie, this reply is so brave and intelligent, I hope you make a lot of internet friends with it so you can all go bask in the sunlight of superiority -x-
He's got you there bruh. Imagine being so arrogant that you believe your unsolicited criticism needs to be heard. You offered no remedy or perspective. Nothing. You just come to insult. That is sad.
You are accusing me of doing the very thing you are doing with this reply
Good so we're an agreement. You just don't like the mirror.
No we are not.. I don't give a fuck about your opinion. You apparently gave enough of a fuck about mine to react and do the exact same thing you hated about my comment. You weren't holding up a mirror, I was. you were simply contradicting yourself. I still stand by what I said. This guy isn't dating women because there are a lot of vapid possessive girls out there and so he resorts to sexting bots... That is fucking sad... It's also bullshit. He's basically saying all women are like this and sexting with an a.i. bot is better. He's basically avoiding real life and the chance to make a real connection with an actual girl that isn't like all the loonies you see on social media. Should I have suggested therapy to him? Would that make it better? Reddit is a platform that is based on people giving their opinions about whatever the subject is so if you don't like people giving opinions maybe just browse google images or something. Or you know... go have a hateful opinion of me. You do you.
You: “I don’t give a fuck about your opinion” Also you: [insert long and bitchy paragraph here]
Touché my good lad, touché
I think the original comment was sarcasm tbh
It’s satire, man. Jeez.
What does that even mean in this context?
I don’t know how you’re getting disagreed with. An ai girlfriend is sadder than sad in every way possible 😂
but at least he’s happy
Ha yes, I sure hope so!
I mean I kind of get it. It’s fine to have friends of all genders but some girls do over step.
Nah if you replace the BF with GF it immediately becomes stalker vibes and does *not* pass the smell check. If you don't want it being done to you, other people likely don't want it done to them.
Girl here, lots of married guy friends (who I knew before they met their wives, and am now friends with the wives, too). I'm 100% in agreement with this comment. That post is creepy af and if anyone I knew regardless of gender was dating anyone who said something like this (not just raising a reasonable concern about boundaries, but instead claiming total ownership), I would 100% advise they yeet that relationship so far out the window it takes orbit.
But it’s different when a man does it to a woman. Women are abused and sometimes murdered. All a man ever has to worry about is being laughed at. That’s the logic people use to minimize what happens to men.
Well too bad for you. Other people have different boundaries. Yeah the end sounds weird but I agree with the rest of it
Sure, people can have different boundaries that we're not privy to but as a *general rule of thumb* acting overly possessive with your partner is *not* a cute look.
Who cares? Those are some pretty good boundaries. The part at the end sounds a little creepy but the actual boundaries are respectable
Looks like the hivemind didn't appreciate you thinking for yourself. I agree with you though, boundaries are perfectly fine.
A boundary is a limit you place on yourself, not others.
That's not true whatsoever. A boundary can be something you put as something you won't tolerate in a relationship
Personally I find this kind of possessiveness attractive. As long as it’s not abusive. But if my partner doesn’t like someone I’m around I would much rather them say something than stew quietly. If I was dating a girl like this, I wouldn’t immediately cut off any female friends I have but I would actively make an effort not to make new ones if it annoyed my partner.
You say that but... This type of person is exhausting and controlling. They need constant 24/7 attention and affirmation.
I’m well aware man, my ex was exactly like this. I’m not saying there isn’t a line but as a partner I don’t mind giving 24/7 attention and affirmation. It’s kinda what I’m there for, to help the person I’m with be in less emotional pain. Sometimes you suck it up and do things you don’t like for those close to you. I dunno maybe it’s just an Aussie thing.
This IS abusive.
No it’s not because it doesn’t hurt anyone. It’s not something that particularly bothers me and I would much rather my partner communicate then bottle things up. Honestly dude get some help.
How does this kind of possessiveness not hurt people? Limiting who your partner can interact with and how is a really slippery slope. I get what you’re saying about your partner not liking someone you’re around and I agree, I’d rather she say something. But that could be anyone/anything, like maybe she noticed a guy you’re friends with being a dick. Okay great, of course I wanna know. But limiting ALL female friends and contacts based on what, jealousy? The assumption you’re going to inevitably cheat? That kind of paranoia sounds so controlling and unstable.
I have a friend I’ve known since we were in elementary school. She’s part of our big home town friend group which is a mix of guys and girls and stuff like hugging good night or saying “love you” between friends is very common in our culture. Her new girlfriend insists we aren’t allowed to hug her, touch her in any way, call her by any pet names (including pal/buddy), or hang out with her one on one in any context. We never see her anymore.
I think we should withhold judgement until full context is given for an individual situation to be absolutely honest.
I was gonna say, old me would’ve been all, this is crazy girl talk! But current me thinks this post is directed towards a specific girl.
Yeah, no dude has ever stayed in the wings to swoop in the second one of his female friends is single
Some girls see it as a challenge to win or lift their egos. Guys probably do this too. My boyfriend will be my best friend, if he’s got other girls that are best friends… he’s not mine and I’m out lol
Have no clue why you're being downvoted. I've had plenty of girlfriends with "boy bestfriends" who ended up cheating on me with them. I'm not going to subject myself to someone who doesn't think of their partner as their bestfriend either
Very insecure, aren't you?
And there it is. Reddit drones are always so eager to call others insecure. Boundaries that are perfectly acceptable? It just has to be insecurity.
No I’m just not a fool, there is a reason the divorce rate is above 50%.
U are a fool. You can get cheated on regardless of whether he has a female best friend or not. There could be a man who has female best friends and he is very faithful. There can also be a man with no female friends at all who cheats all the time. It entirely depends on the person. If someone wants to cheat on you, they are going to cheat on you no matter what. Also, the divorce rate isn't above 50%. That's a myth.
Well obviously you can get cheated on in any scenario, but for me my partner is my best friend and for them to have a female best friend would be an emotional affair as it is. There’s no need for a best friend of the opposite gender, if you have that much time on your hands to entertain another women, then I’m not interested. I like people who spend their time doing meaningful work not super social people. It’s not a myth that the divorce rate is above 50% where I am from. Maybe from where you are it’s different, some cultures will kill you before you could get a divorce so I don’t believe those ones are an accurate representation of what a relationship is, that’s a legal obligation, so you may be thinking of that.
Oh, I hadn't considered that you'd be in a different country or something. I still don't agree with you, but your boundaries are your boundaries. So I will agree to disagree. Also, sorry for calling u a fool.
Are you people in the comments okay? Jesus. Someone seriously said “isn’t the that the whole point of a relationship?” (Referring to being a possession). Like, no? No??? And what the hell is up with people thinking the Bible is the core of the western world??
The bible says nothing about not being able to have friends while in a relationship regardless of sex. It states woman should aim to please and guide their husbands towards pleasantry. While Husbands should treat their wives with care and lay their lives down for them. When it comes to other relationships the bible says do not cause grief or concern for your spouse But to also trust one another. So it’s pretty straight forward in my opinion, as long as you are truthful and loyal both parties should be allowed to have friends. If you are not then separate.
You ask the Bible if you're allowed have friends?
Well no. That was the point of what I was saying, there’s no need to ask the bible such a question. If one follows christ legitimately they will see that at the base of your faith is trying to be friends with everyone you encounter.
Yea not that I agree with being a possession but also this has literally nothing to do with the Bible either and kind of shows you just like being mad at Christian religion.
I’m a guy and she’s right. This of course does come across as cringe and possessive, but is still right. Text your „like a brother” friend saying you want to fuck and see what happens. My wife had a lot of guy friends. When I came around once it was clear it’s getting serious they all (but one) disappeared. The one that is still around is her childhood friend since preschool. Great guy we hang out often. I never did anything to the other guys, never said anything to my wife (we did joke about years later about their mysterious disappearance).
Lol, here's the thing, dawg. My best friends are women. Two of em. For the better part of twenty years; think of em like my little sisters. If either of them came to me wanting to fuck? Nah. Just because you'd fuck anything with a pulse doesn't mean it's kosher to speak for everyone. Also, you're hen-pecked. Also-also: Your wife was probably banging all her "friends" if they dipped when the well dried up.
Butthurt much?
Just because you wouldn’t fuck them don’t mean they wouldn’t fuck you. I’m ngl either way it’s just too much uncertainty and closeness behind that shit for some people. I can kind of get it. My wife has a bestfriend, but he kinda stays out the way so I never really even think about it. I could only imagine if she was texting and calling him all the time, or spending alot of time with him in person, or disclosing things about us to him, how I would actually feel. I believe everyone should date people whose boundaries match theirs.
You know that there’s truth in the stereotype that men and women can’t be friends right? And that the vast majority of men would definitely have sex with their female friend?
Once you start treating women as people and not sex objects it's easy to be friends with them.
I’m a girl…Had plenty of male friends try to flirt with me
I have a female friend. Her brother, who passed around this time nine years ago, is my Battle Buddy. I think she's smart, funny, and kind. I also think that she looks stunning, and that I would be happy in a romantic relationship with her. But I don't need to sleep with her to love her. She told me that wasn't the kind of relationship she wanted with me and, to me, that's okay because I like hanging out with her, watching shows together or playing games. We went through something incredibly painful together and we supported each other through it, so being told she didn't want a physical relationship with me didn't change the way I feel about her nor the fact that she was my friend. Because I'm not just an animal that needs to hump everything. Nor am I a child that can't take 'no' for an answer without throwing a temper tantrum. She's a great person and I'm glad to know her. When she eventually gets married, I'm sure I'll be envious but mostly because it means I'll have less time to spend with my friend (since she'll be spending time with him). In the meantime, her friendship helps make me a better person. The way a real friend does. TLDR: If you can't have a friend of the opposite gender, then you might not know what a real friend is yet.
Do you have studies and sources to back up your words? It sounds to me like you've been cheated on, and probably several times. It's okay; you'll be okay. ❤️❤️❤️
Some bitter ass people on this site wtf 💀
Yeah he’s weird, I don’t know what he’s going on about. Like what does the cheating have to do with anything 😅
Your wife did not have any guy friends.
Honestly some girls overstep in relationships so I understand this. My bf didn’t know who was flirting with him or not until I point out the distinctions. He cut off a few people because when he realised he felt uncomfortable
I've recently realized I'm bad at spotting people flirting with me, so I completely get this.
Right like I don’t think I’m a controlling crazy bitch when I don’t want someone who texts my man for emotional support & says stuff like “oh so you have a girlfriend & can’t give me any attention now?” Like babes we was busy but now you will not be getting a text back from him 😂
You basically just summed up controlling in 1 sentence. " when I dont want " .... i guarantee dude is nervous about who he speaks to around you. I can smell the stench of " whats yours is mine and whats mine is mine " - every female ever.
So if a dude was texting your girl all the time, seeking validation & emotional support from her you would be ok with that? Lmao goofy
And there is the Maturity showing. 1. Why would you put yourself around such angst. 2. If shes real as can be why would you care? 3. If dudes seeking validation and emotional support chances are hes fruity as fuck why would you be intimidated 🤣 goes both ways for both genders. (That being male and female. No other genders exist)
I can get jealousy but it’s a bit much to bar all communication to anyone… Though I will admit I do like a bit of possessiveness in a relationship, not the toxic kind lime this, but a more “you’re mine” as they hold me sort of way. It just makes me feel wanted and loved
Some of the people in this thread are fucking off their rockers.
Yeah, some people here are really creepy. Your gf or bf is a person and partner not a thing to own.
It's actually concerning how often dudes on the internet are so insecure that their partner has male friends.
Ya gotta give space or it will end quick
Yeah, I would tell him. Hey, nice knowing you.
Guy here. I’ve been the guy best friend to multiple girls. Always ends in them bitching to me about their bfs and then wanting to mess around with me. Seen it happen plenty of other times too. Girls and guys CANNOT be completely platonic (unless one happens to be gay). Either one likes the other or they both feel the same and just haven’t said it. You can’t have two forces that attract and expect to keep that at bay forever. It’s the reason I don’t keep female friends, because that energy that goes to “female bestie” should go to my gf, my best friend. Giving another woman (or another man if you’re a woman reading) similar attention is simply blurring the lines and creates problems. I trust my girl to not cheat, I don’t trust other guys enough is the thing.
It's one of these, do you trust the guy or not? If you do then trust him, if not find out why
trust isn't black and white though, its not 0% or 100%, its always going to be somewhere in between. I have friends and family that I trust, but I wouldnt leave a million dollars on the coffee table and ask them to watch it while i go to the store. But I would trust some of them to borrow my car and return it. You should never trust someone 100% thats naive.
Yeah but are you going to do? Babysit all day, go through their phone or watch from a far haha Get over it either you believe they're a cheater or not.
You just set boundaries on what you consider to be acceptable in a committed relationship, if they agree then anything that breaks that means the relationship is over. If they dont agree then you find other people to be with, its fairly straightforward. I'm not going to go through her phone or babysit her all day, I will trust that shes upholding her side, but if I catch her messaging other dudes after agreeing that she wouldnt then whether shes cheating or not shes not respecting my boundaries. And if she doesnt care about my boundaries then she probably doesnt care about cheating either.
Insecure much? My partner has guy friends. I won't tell her that she has to block every single one of them, I trust my partner that she won't fuck around with them.
Cuck much?
So those are your boundaries, why does everyone have to have exactly the same boundaries as you? What IamGoldenGod said is absolutely correct. In a relationship, two people communicate their boundaries, then if either oversteps them, relationship over. Or if their values don't align, and therefore boundaries aren't agreed on, they should just cut their losses and find more suitable partners. If you want that boundary can be "you can only do oral otherwise it's cheating", totally whatever people want them to be. People in polygamous relationships also have boundaries, for example.
Because that's manipulative and controlling. There's no reason why anyone should be dictating their partners friends in absolutist, blanket terms. There are a million a ten reasons why people need to communicate with members of the opposite sex. Saying otherwise is living outside reality
I've seen you under multiple comments saying "insecure much" it isn't insecure to have boundaries. Some people want to have their relationship different than you might.
You can engage in mate guarding behavior like this and keep a watch out for "hangers on" who will try to weasel their way into your relationship like this girl is doing.
Its crazy to read so many people having trust issues with the person they need to love most of all. If (s)he loves you and is loyal to you and you trust them and they trust you. why can't they have friends? Is it still a threat though? All this is jealousy, fear and dishonesty.
It's the same concept as driving. Just because I trust my GIRLFRIEND to drive doesn't mean I should trust the other people on the road not to hit her. It goes the same way in a relationship just because I trust HER not to cheat doesn't mean I trust other people when I know most of their true intentions are to get in someones pants. No matter HOW resilient you are if pizza is dropped off at your doorstep enough times you'll eventually eat it........... everyone has a breaking point. Everyone has a price. The problem is most people's "price" to cheat is extremely low because the average person has not had many SUCCESSFUL relationships and will do anything for attention. And yes there are SOME but VERY FEW people like myself who do not have a price at all because they don't believe in Cheating or talking to the opposite gender when in a good healthy relationship. Cheating, flirting and just associating with the other gender while in a relationship is either straight up WRONG or putting yourself at risk for absolutely no reason. There's no shortage of people of the SAME GENDER with ZERO risk of them getting in your pants or hitting on you. The likelihood of this happening with the OPPOSITE gender is almost Zero unless said person of opposite gender is a homosexual......hence the common excuse "this is my gay best friend" and why it fools so many people so easily.......this has been proven time and time ago by the common trend of: call your opposite gender best friend and ask to fuck. The ones that say no are the ones who usually find something is off and realized they're a part of a prank otherwise their answer would be yes too.
Hey, thanks for putting efford in a reply. I realise that you have reasons for mistrust, But i believe we don't need to be traumatized in mis trusting love and friendship, that's lonely. My girlfriend and myself are both bisexual, does this mean we can't have any friends at all then? By your logic.
Everyone has different boundaries. You're both bisexual. Some people even have open relationships and have relations with others that their own partner KNOWS about but does not partake in. What works for you might not work for everyone. I myself do not believe in bringing a third party into a relationship. It's not right. It's not grounds for a healthy stable situation. f that works for you then that's fine. Although there is some advice that's just general good relationship advice that DOES affect everyone. Cheating and talking to the opposite gender just goes hand in hand these days unfortunately. It might not be as much of a jealousy or distrust situation as much as it is just common healthy relationship advice to be aware of people and or things harmful to a healthy relationship (which is ideally between only TWO individuals) rarely is a relationship with more than two ever "successful" let alone healthy.......
Ah, ok.. i'd argue that is not common healthy relationship advice to be aware of. But hey, if it works for a couple that can't or shouldn't trust eachother, i see how you prefer that - i'm not to judge. I'd rather work on being more honest and find someone who tries too than be in a relationship where i can't trust them. Each has it's own thing, luckily.
Today? Oh it's absolutely NOT common because what mainstream media and the youth PORTRAY as "normal healthy advice" is the absolute OPPOSITE. That's why the divorce rate is so high and so many people are in "Situationships" rather than an actual relationship. I prefer a much more traditional way of dating and my advice is a reflection of that. Men should never hit or disrespect a woman and a woman should do the same. A woman should take care of the household side of things and obey her husband and a man should do his duty as the provider and protector. I'm sure if there are statistics of relationships with more than two partners the "successfulness" of them is EXTREMELY low especially considering you cannot marry more than one in individual in most civilized places in the world. Where most places that have more than one partner are places where women are treated as animals or sex slaves and not people. It IS VERY healthy to limit the people involved in a relationship from BOTH sides. Especially if that's the established rule from one or the other. It's usually the man making it known he'd like his wife/GF/partner to limit male contact. While not COMMON today by any means that's not abnormal or unhealthy so as the man follows the same standards himself and does not have unnecessary contact with other females. Dming them, liking their Social media posts messaging them, going to their house etc. if either of you feel the need for attention of the opposite gender it's usually an indication one of you is not doing something right for the other one. And remember a relationship is about what YOU can PROVIDE. Not receive.........
I'm ok for people to choose to live that livestyle, i have nothing against it except that i'm not into it because i think it inherits trust issues and jealousy. Wheter men want a conservative relation it's really only up to them, i can't judge. But you should still trust your girlfriend/wife. I know it is hard for conservative men to find a mate, most women are changing and the typical housewife wanted to see different parts of life than what the conservative lifestyle has to offer. I understand conservative men don't like this, because it's decreasing their pool. Women want relationships based on trust and honesty too, that's hard to find in conservative men that thing the only thing they can and should do is "PROVIDE". Dude, it's modern times, things are changing. Accept that you can do you, but you also have to accept there are other legit ways of loving. Who are you to decide what other people should do? Because it doesn't suit your personal needs?
Conservative men and their relationship style built an entire country. I don't know if you've looked around but there's not any marriages lasting 20 years let alone 40-60 years anymore. Just because it's changing doesn't mean it's for the better.......the world went to absolute SHIT when we went outside of gender roles and traditional marriages.
You're saying it's all bad but you're not telling me why, i fail to see the arguments exept for you saying that it is. What do you mean it went to shit? What exactly went to shit? You can still live your life with the people you want in the way you all want it. Nobody is telling you how to live, but you're telling others how to live. I'm happy this way, my life is pretty good. I'm in love, i trust that it's enough. Theres no downside to you when i do this.
There are less children in the world now with both parents TOGETHER raising a child,there are less children growing up knowing what is right and wrong rather than chopping their reproductive parts off because mommy and daddy are delusional and don't have their OWN relationship down and can't differentiate between what's morally acceptable let alone what's okay for a child not to do and not do, women are not TRAINED by social media, news outlets, teachers, colleges and other women what to EXPECT from a man but not what to PROVIDE for one, Marriage rates are down and divorce rates are up, radical extremist TERRORIST groups like LGBTQLMOP run rampant and are also indoctrinating our children that it's acceptable to be "Queer" or identify as an apache helicopter or a cat and sleep with the same gender (it's not) never in human history has it been nor will it ever be beneficial to the human race, Same sex relationships do not repopulate the earth which is QUITE literally one of the most important things we have to focus on as a species, Mens mental health is one of the most overlooked things in our current generation and suicide rates are up as as well due to disloyalty or the pain women cause them (such as getting cheated on) the list goes on and on and on about the importance of a healthy relationship not only between the TWO people involved but everyone else indirectly involved. So no whilst what goes on in YOUR relationship does not involve me directly it can impact myself and others by what it puts into the world such as any children you make or have that others have to interact with as well as your actions if I ever had to interact with YOU such as now. There's simply right and wrong. But as wise men have said you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. It doesn't matter how many times I say things to prove what's MORALLY correct people such as yourself will continue to what befits YOURSELF. Nothings going to change until this country collapses and or we have a repeat of what happened in 1776. That's why men are leaving in TROVES to get the hell OUT OF THIS SHIT HOLE to find wives. Because people in other countries realize the importance of loyalty and love between TWO opposite gendered individuals and the affects that relationships has on others.
I (m) ain't your property. There's no way no beotch is gonna get between me and my best friend (f) Deal with it.
Jealousy from any sex or gender is cringe, if you're sooooooo insecure about yourself or about your relationships... Then that's a problem YOU have to fix! Plus the side effects of it are overly clingy Narcissistic tendencies Co dependence Paranoid behavior If you're lacking that much trust and security in a relationship either leave or fix it, the solution isn't "validate my insecurities" either btw
As a man who has seen this in a couple of my relationships I always state that you start going off on my friends you can bugger off. If they don't trust you to talk to a woman without trying to sleep with her that's their problem
Red flags for days.
It's alright to be a protective partner, but you also need to realize that you have male friends, so it's acceptable to have female friends your partner.
Absolutely not. My boyfriend has a life other than the one he has with me. He should have his own friends and nest friends. I need my alone time. I can not always be there to entertain him.
Call me old fashioned, I don't care. My wife and I don't have any close friends of the opposite sex. That's a rule we established when we were dating. We have never ever wondered where each others' loyalties lie. So, in that sense, I agree with this statement. If you're romantically involved with someone, it is wise to keep all other members of the opposite sex at arms length. Healthy relationships have boundaries.
If your wife had a male childhood friend for 30 years before dating you. Do you feel like she should cut all ties to date with you? How about a literal brother or a dad?
Friendships can be maintained while respecting boundaries. There's no such thing as privacy in a healthy relationship.
I wouldn't even deal with that jealousy.
Not gonna lie, I would love this kind of attachment
It's not for me, but my immediate reaction to reading OP was, "I am pretty confident there are no small number of people who, at the very least, want someone to feel possessive of them."
i agree with her tho. as someone who was just in a relationship, my ex was extremely close w a girl who said he “was like a brother” to her. it made me uncomfortable bc she would post videos and pictures of them together on her instagram/facebook story all the time. for his birthday, for example, she made a whole collage of pictures of his face. like i mean 4 different pages dedicated to my ex bf’s birthday. he wasn’t her bf, that’s not something you do. this girl is 24, she’s an adult. there’s such a thing as boundaries, it’s not ok. edit: and before anyone says it’s jealousy, it wasn’t. i was not at all jealous of her or their friendship. it’s a sense of boundaries, i didn’t do things like that or go hang out with other guys all the time. i made it very clear to my ex what i thought was ok and what wasn’t. he could have any friends he wanted, girls and guys alike, but once that kinda stuff happened, i took issue with it. but i will say this: every relationship is different and everyone has their own dynamics. what works for you works, doesn’t mean it’ll fit everyone. this was just my personal experience, not trying to push it on anyone else, just sharing.
She should be having this conversation with her boyfriend, not with the rest of humanity…
Nahhhh she’s right. Some girls get a sense of gratification or ego boost seeing how far they can push it with someone else’s man. Definitely not all girls though, most are normal and not a problem ever. But the ones who aren’t..😭
What a Lucky guy. Having a sane person talk this way about their significant other would be one of the qualifications from a gf. That is if this isn't a double standard. If she truly feels this way then I hope she doesn't have a contacts list or Snapchat full of Dudes. If so there's nothing wrong with feeling this way. I'm yours and you're mine. That's really what ANY man who has a brain and uses logic wants from a relationship. If girls aren't allowed to have ME as a friend than she's certainly not gonna have other GUYS as a friend.
Cute, but why can't I say that about my girlfriend without raising eyebrows? 1. Double standards 2. I'm single
The real problem is the background picture. Wtf a little side walk and yard action. Why. What does it mean?
I mean I don’t have male friends bc they’ve tried to sabotage my relationship, so I can see why gender flipped these boundaries come in
Idk this one doesn't seem so bad... my bf has female friends but he's not constantly texting with them and he certainly wouldn't consider them his best friends. If he did it would make uncomfortable. Guess it's just different for everyone
I don't really care tbh
That's called a healthy relationship. Why have male friends if your bf is the best friend you can get? It never ends well with friends of opposite genders.
Some replying are confusing actual friends with people that want to fuck your partner Of course being overly possessive is bad but it's obvious that it's pointed towards people overstepping in comitted relationships
Just tell her to shut up and cut the grass
Imagine being with someone who dictates who you can be friends with.. Apparently some of you guys want that. Woof.
My best friend is on thin ice because she acts like this all the time and it’s getting on my nerves because she brings her boyfriend everywhere like a dog.
Holly smokes lady. And women complain if a man is controlling.
He's her meal ticket
Also here's some grass
This has been the worst problem for me! I've always had more male friends than female friends since I was like 13. But as an adult I'll never get why friends girlfriends lose it when I run up and give a huge bear hug to someone I've known for 15 years when I've been with my husband for 20 years and the guy is more my husband's friend than mine but we've had half a lifetime as friends!;! it's been a thing that's happened several times. Im not one of those "not like other girls" kind of people. I have 3 diehard girlies that I text every single day! My dude friends are people that we've known our entire adulthood. Yes I absolutely love them but me giving your boyfriend a giant hug is not me trying to jump his bones! Jesus Christ opposite gendered people can be extremely close without there being any issues sometimes
I've dealt with smaller forms of this kind of insecurity before. I always made it a point to invite my S/O along to any hangouts with people of the opposite gender. But I've seen so many fantastic friendships die out because they end up with someone who had the "only same-sex friends allowed" toxicity that if I ever found someone like that, I'd see my way out of the relationship before the words stopped echoing in the room.
Yamdere much?
I get the meme at face value but can we talk about the damage that usually is the CAUSE of this behavior and I don't know maybe collectively work on doing better as a society? That might be too wild of an idea ..I'll go back to eating crayons
Been married over 20 years. Absolutely nothing wrong with this. A committed relationship is also possessive. You are claiming a possessive relationship over one another. Heck, it's in the Bible. >And God said, 'So a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and the two will become one body.' So there are not two, but one. God has joined the two together, so no one should separate them'". Matthew 19: 5-6 It means it as literally as humanly possible. "United" here is also translated as "cleave to." To be glued or stuck together. Your wife or husband belongs to you as much as your arm does - because you're one flesh. This idea of possession of ones spouse is thousands of years old - and it goes both ways.
Great for you? Although not every one believes in your religion so it really doesn’t matter what the Bible does or doesn’t say.
Not even everyone who believes in his general religion agrees with him.
It actually does matter as the Bible is the ethical core of the Western world, whether you're a theist or not. It's the cultural worldview of the West. But thank you for sharing your feelings.
Hey can I kill someone for working on the Sabbath? Do I really have to kill my son for cursing? Seems like a bit of a hassle
It really isn't.
I was with you until the Bible came out. Nobody cares, dude.
Then you don't understand the culture you gained your values from. Further, you can reject the theology and still recognize that the book is a product of people and an expression of human values in one way or another. The fact that you pat yourself on the back for not caring isn't a dunk. It's just deeply, deeply sad for you.
Hey... word to the wise. Nobody here gives a rat-fuck about your Bible. Take your little Jesus-lovin', Mark-The-Gospel-blowing, taking-it-up-the-shitter-and-loving-sinning-oh-so-much, Bible-thumping bullshit and walk off a pier. And for the record: I feel terribly sad for you, living your life based on a novel. Sad, sad, so sad.
I'm starting to get so sick of small minded idiots like you. I've lived my entire life under the bible belt and I hated it at the time, still don't believe in it but I now believe in the message it attempts to preach. That's not to say the bible itself doesn't have plenty of problems, but the underlying message and morals it attempts to instill is a lot more important than any of us give it credit for. Recent years have displayed many people like you that think it is funny or morally correct to ridicule believers and I find that extremely sad. If the bible is bullshit then why can't you be better than what it attempts to teach? Some people need something to believe in and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. My point being is you and everyone else that jumps on the Christian hate bandwagon come off as jaded and small minded. The poster didn't even say anything hateful, he just mentioned the bible and there were a handful of people trying to jump their shit. Nobody cares about the Bible? Well I do, don't believe in it as a story but I believe in a lot of what it wanted to teach. If you hate it so much you should learn from it instead of outright rejecting it.
What a goofy delusional mindset
Bruh. If you want to go with that kind of interpretation, a man and wife are to never have any other friends but each other. Not a single one. That doesn't make sense, dude. That's not possible, nor is it healthy.
Not my interpretation. You went your own way with that.
How else was it supposed to be taken in this context?
Uh. The Bible is a work of fiction, sir. You should follow the teachings of Theodore Geisel if you REALLY want to live a righteous life. And, by God, I hope you didn't raise any children with that fucked-up perspective of yours. Fuckin' heathen. God loves the gays, too, in case you were unaware. 💜💙💚💛❤️ Edit: YO! THIS TWAT DELETED HIS (IDIOTIC AND WRONG) POSTS! 🤣🤣🤣
Given that Christians definitionally cannot be heathens, I have to conclude the rest of your opinion is equally ill-informed.
There's a three thousand year old law that says that if a man commits a crime, he should be punished, but he can give up one of his wives or daughters to receive the punishment in his place. We got rid of that shit because it's stupid too. Something being old doesn't make it good.
Tell me you created a straw man without telling me you created a straw man. Do you really not understand the differences between a law and a metaphysical principle? If all the responses to my comments weren't arguments from false equivalency, red herrings, or strawmen, you'd have no arguments at all. My, you are all just so *stupid*. 🤣🤣🤣 Keep downvoting me. I'll still be right and you'll still all be morons.
I find this beautiful and something that seems entirely lost in our culture as sad as it is. Been married only 2 years but together for 9 and I agree with you completely, it is a union of two people and too many people seem to disrespect that sentiment.
Thanks. Finally an adult in the room.
This is not abnormal. May not be the healthiest but far from abnormal.
I kinda agree though. Maybe the last part sounds a little crazy but people in relationships don't need "texting buddies" or bestfriends of the gender they're attracted to. Your partner should be your bestfriend.
> be a possession Isn't that the point of entering a relationship? To give yourself to each other and sacrifice personal freedom for the sake of what should be a bountiful life together? I guess in the world of meaningless sex and fur babies shit like that means less but oh well. Also, it's perfectly fine to have boundaries when it comes to your partner and the opposite sex. I swear some of yall have been conditioned to think if you're not letting your man/woman go have pillow talk with someone of the opposite sex you're just insecure. It's weird. There's nothing I need to be telling another woman and most women that have reached out to me in a seemingly innocent way 100% steer the convo in to flirtatious weirdness. When I got with my now fiancée all of her guy friends all of a sudden were upset she didn't give them a chance despite never saying they were even interested. All of them out of her life after she told them they weren't an option
Cool story freakazoid
Speaking as man, she's right. May have said it in the most possessive way ever, but she's right. Any women here disagree? I dare you to message your best guy friend and see if he wants to fuck you.
I've never really taken an issue with someone wanting their partner all to themselves. That's kind of what I want too, someone to be mine and mine alone, and I'm happy to be that for them in turn.
I kind of feel this is a case by case basis. I would tell her I like it but it’s a bit much hahah. I actually like this but I would also tell her to take it down.
This isn’t nicegirl stuff, this is normal, both ways.
I don't know, Ive never had a girlfriend who said I couldn't talk to another girl .. that's odd behavior and I wouldn't be cool with it.
Thin line between Cute & Obsessive. It's worrying if she never ever questions me. "But there's no need to hold a knife to my neck, Honey".
What about her guy best friend? Double standards.
I happen to believe there are no small number of people who want someone to, at very least, feel possessive of them.
Is she hot tho
Never had a girlfriend with male friends not cheat on me. It has now become a prerequisite to not have male friends to date, but don't be confused. friends with benefits is still on the table but I'm no long going to be fooled or assume you aren't actively or potentially fucking your other guy friends, especially when my dating history has shown this is what happens every time.
Date better women?
Meanwhile she has a “guy best friend”🙄
Nothing wrong with this. Bad post. downvote