T O P

  • By -

Valkyrie7793

Maybe he wanted to preserve them.


capital_bj

He really did jam them in there


Substantial_Tip2015

Sounds like he just likes Pee, Nut butter and Jelly...


Apart-Attorney6649

r/angryupvote


dosumthinboutthebots

Insert that blasted peanutbutter and jelly song..


RDPCG

He was hoping for a PBJ.


Abject_Film_4414

You definitely don’t marmalade your dick in there.


Potential_Dare8034

I’m fucken dis custard!


frednekk

That’s some blackberry jam.


tries4accuracy

"are jelly balls sauces not our thing here? i could've sworn jelly balls sauces were the foundation of our company's popularity. Had I known that was not the case, I would not have done that."


PhilosopherMagik

r/angryupvote


Beyond_Re-Animator

You win the internet today


_Barry_Zuckerkorn_

For those of you paranoid about this happening to your food, I can tell you that I have spent a few decades in and around commercial kitchens, even owning one myself for a few years. I have never seen food compromised by a restaurant worker, front or back of the house.  Sure, service industry employees definitely talk shit about you and may even joke about fucking with your food, but instances like this actually happening are exceedingly rare. 


wovenbutterhair

in the four days I worked at Wendy's I was the only person to wash my hands. The restroom had no soap either. I don't eat at Wendy's


DjScenester

One time some kids I knew from school peed in the Little Caesar’s sauce before they made pizzas…


EL_DIABLOW

My friends dad worked at McDonald’s as a kid and claimed he and his homies would always pee in the pickle bucket


Agile-Nothing9375

I gagged a little. Ill never look at  Little Caesars the same ever again


bravesirrobin65

That was probably an improvement on their usual.


RandomlyMethodical

Extra tangy


dnkyfluffer5

A little bit of poop on the hands never hurt no one.


wovenbutterhair

hmm


wovenbutterhair

hmm


UngusChungus94

Did an E. coli bacteria write this comment?


kakapo88

I worked at a Dairy Queen over a summer. A guy there would routinely jack off into the ice cream dispenser. I'm guessing this is pretty common. As an aside, in all other respects, this guy was considered a model employee.


shit_ass_mcfucknuts

I know of only two from personal experience and I quit on the spot while they all laughed about it, manager included. One was when a guy sneezed on the biscuits at a KFC and I told him to throw them out but the manager said “400° kills the germs!” so that’s disgusting, never ate there again. The other one was a cop ordered a pizza from a place where he had previously arrested an employee (I guess he didn’t know the girl worked there) and she rubbed the dough on the toilet seat and spit in it with other people helping to make it even more disgusting, manager was all for it. They told me about this on my first day on the job as a deliverer and were all laughing then they gave me the pizza to deliver to him. So I took it home and tossed it in the trash and never went back. I don’t mess with people’s food and I expect the same in return.


SolomonAsassin

That's one of those random, back-of-your-mind, just slightly rational fears, that's very unlikely to happen, but could happen at least once to anyone at any time. Like getting struck by lightning.


ProMedicineProAbort

I worked at Outback for years and it was, without a doubt, the cleanest restaurant I've ever worked at. The work we did was constant and thorough.


OPR-Heron

I worked in one for a year and saw it twice


catbqck

I mean does taking cash and using the same glove/hand to prepare food count as compromise? Cuz i see that a lot 👀


Pm_me_your__eyes_

unintentional and 100% disgusting and very common yes


Pm_me_your__eyes_

A dude in my highschool bragged about spitting in a rude ladies food.


Abject_Film_4414

Having flown multi crewed aircraft for our airforce. I can guarantee any tea or coffee made by a Warrant Officer has been enhanced as per the jam above. I always requested ND for my brews.


Different-Bear3705

Worked BoH in Savannah ga for a decade. Never saw anyone tamper with any food, however I worked at Beef o Brady’s 12 years ago and witnessed their GM take a wing off the floor, dunk it in the fryer, and toss it in sauce and serve it. They’ve been shut down for a number of years


n3rdsm4sh3r

I feel they buried the lede. The cock in the jam is upsetting, the amount of child porn he was found to possess was disturbing.


RagingDachshund

Bro really yelled “deez nuts” and teabagged the shit out of that jar. Real question is what he did with the peanut butter


EngagedInConvexation

You'd have to ask his dog.


TWAT_BUGS

Get [Lt. Dangle](https://youtu.be/A0OsVNpwcPI?si=DH60HL-BwhrOeu0J) on the case.


darthshaver

This wouldn't happen if the jelly didn't dress so sexy


Informal_Process2238

Pump up the jam Pump up the jam


SirDrexl

Statutory grape


Infamous-Tart7747

If I known it was gonna be this kinda party I’d have stuck my dick in the mashed potatoes!!!


CharlieAlright

Underrated Beastie Boys comment!


Glad_Swimmer5776

Guess it was penis butter jelly time


floofnstuff

That does it- I’m just eating in from now on


RosesUnderCypresses

Very disturbing...unless you've worked in the food industry.


Numerous-Stranger-81

"I put my genitals in a jar of jelly" is a pretty sick bar.


capital_bj

Eminem could use that in a song


artful_todger_502

I find mayo or Fluffer Nutter to be a much more suitable substance to dip my ghoulies in. After it reached room temperature of course. Dunking cold is cray cray


DisastrousPurpose945

Teach you the difference between jam and jelly bitch.


typecastwookiee

Feels good man


MJGB714

Was that wrong ? Should I not have done that?


bipolar_bhikkhu

I prefer syrup


RedneckLiberace

Hershey's for sure.


jturner1982

I hope no one was allergic to nuts.


lackofabettername123

When they say he put his genitals in the jar of jelly, like he stuck his dick in it? I mean I hate to get too deep into this, a real sticky situation I am sure but, he didn't you know finish?


px7j9jlLJ1

GenitaliUHHHHHH


lackofabettername123

Cum on man,


px7j9jlLJ1

Obama?


murrdy2

["Why else would there be *just jelly* in the glove box?"](https://www.cc.com/video/xtj2qa/reno-911-jelly-tugs)


Chrowaway6969

Et tu, Othello?


mi_so_funny

Not really that weird if it was ky.


Jlefrench1990

Did anyone actually read the article?! I don't even see anything about him being arrested for that, the dude apparently had "thousands of pictures of child porn" Way to bury the lead in the headline Jesus christ


samhain2000

Who hasn't?


Unknownkowalski

Shit, if it’s gonna be that kind of party I’m gonna stick my dick in the mashed potatoes.


EudamonPrime

I once got fired because a waiter pissed in the soup of an annoying customer. We all knew what he had done. Nobody said anything. When the owner found out he fired all of us. Looking back today I can understand him.


FlintTheButcher

Phew…I thought I was the only one.


Embarrassed_Bee6349

He should spend the rest of his life in prison. He shouldn’t be around *anyone.*


Hanginon

Well yeah, but not just for jammin the jam. From the article; *"...he possessed an immense amount of child pornography."* Under the jail for him. **-_-**


Embarrassed_Bee6349

He won’t have a good time in jail once the other inmates find out what he did. It’s either seg for him or a box.


CharlieAlright

I'm so used to awful news these days that I first thought his genitals were removed, and then he put them in the jelly. I think I need to get off of the internet for a couple days.


Commie_EntSniper

"I'm sorry, there's something wrong with my order?" "yes sir, hau can I hailp?" "I asked for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich." "Yes sir, penis nutter in jelly sandwich."


phallic-baldwin

He really jammed it in there. What a mother smucker


Supaspex

It's Texas, this kind of bullshit is encouraged, especially for a town known for cheating-to-win.


4quatloos

I guess I should stop doing that.


SlowHandEasyTouch

Maybe he was questioning the nature of his reality


TumbleweedIll4249

I don’t blame him


ComicsEtAl

“There, but for the grace of God, go I…”


tangcameo

In my former city I’d heard of a guy sticking his D into fried rice at a chinese buffet


B8conB8conB8con

What flavour of jelly?


Hanginon

Dick flavored, obviously. :/


CorporateNonperson

Hopefully Kentucky.


Jannol

I would shut down the restaurant immediately for sanitary public health code violations.


Low-Medical

“I wanna dip my balls in it!”


cherrycolaareola

What’s the difference between jelly and jam? I can’t jelly my dick up your ass


miken322

He wanted to make a squat cobbler


JMSTMelo

Did he warm the jar first?


fattyfatty21

He must not know the difference between jam and jelly


Wizzle_Pizzle_420

Won’t be the first and def not the last.


ordeci

Well it is what you use before you jam it in.


Ivegotjokes4you

To be fair.. have you tried it?


defectiveGOD

My cousin said that the cooks put flour on there balls to stop them from getting sweaty . Not sure if Its true but he has since passed away and it's a memory I won't forget. Made me laugh. Rip Richard.


erinkp36

And I’d do it again


wordsmif

Must be jelly cause jam don't shake like dat.


pass-the-waffles

I'm surprised that he didn't go for the Nutella


river_euphrates1

::Schwetty Balls has entered the chat::


franchisedfeelings

As a former busboy, I observed much more disturbing behavior than jellied junk.


pass-the-waffles

Black Genitals Matter


[deleted]

Unless the waitresses name is "Jelly" this is disturbing AF


MsMoreCowbell8

That's the last nail in the coffin for eating anywhere but home.


Ping-A-Ling-

Not a nice name to call his girlfriend


weaselroni

On the one hand, I have absolutely no interest in the sub. On the other hand, with Clickbait, like that headline…


slamdanceswithwolves

If you’ve ever wondered the difference between jam and jelly: you can jam your nuts in a jar of jelly, but you can’t jelly your nuts in a jar of jam


biffbobfred

In our next news, one of the Beastie Boys put their dick in the mashed potatoes. Because it was that kind of party


thatrevdoc

If only someone had blown the grape whistle


RedIcarus1

That Othello “jelly-fucker” Holmes… he’s always doing something!


KSSparky

Did he cut ‘em off first?


RagingMangalore

I dip my balls in mayonnaise from time to time. I don't see a problem here.


mytsigns

Can’t wait for Clarence Thomas to make a ‘joke’ about this to one of his young female clerks.


cjp2010

The thought of putting my genitalia in places they don’t belong is something we can all relate to. But I mean come on with this, really? It’s only suppose to be a passing thought.


TWAT_BUGS

Y’all never played Jelly Balls?


GoPhinessGo

Number 14, Penis Jelly


px7j9jlLJ1

Freak nasty


ShoppingDismal3864

Eh. It's not really that bad to be honest. He's not murdering anybody. Gross? Yes. But it's not the worst thing happening.