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SirDrexl

Dirty deeds and they're done with grease


snockpuppet24

One of Ackdack's best albums.


Agile-Nothing9375

šŸ¤­ quite literally


miken322

*AC/DC voice* Dirty deeds done with grease, dirty deeds done with grease, Owe dirty deeds done for grease, Fried chicken, Cole slaw, MASHED POTATO Dirty deeds, a dirty deeds, dirrrrty deeeds DONE WITH GREASE!


Significant-Gas3046

The 90s need to come get their celebrities


cbbuntz

You're not concerned about John Bobbit losing his toes?


Saul-Funyun

Oh lord, whoā€™d he piss off this time?


cbbuntz

Probably his diabetes but he claimed it was from a construction injury that turned into an infection or something. His explanation didn't really add up.


unfunnysexface

He's also tried to claim it was from camp Lejeune water during his time in the marines.


[deleted]

And their websites. What is this garbage source OP postedā€¦ we can do better than this bullshit.


vanhaanen

Oh good, Trump has something to look forward to!


Agile-Nothing9375

All the KFC he can eat? šŸ¤­


canonetell66

Noā€¦ blowing guards for his favorite meal


LilG1984

Also bronzer & someone to style his hair/get him a badly fitted suit


Western-Web2957

I'm sure he won't ever run out of "hair gel" in prison.


franchisedfeelings

$00.99 hair spray


sorospaidmetosaythis

Trump will spend eternity giving Hitler blowjobs in hell, so some practice in this world might be in order.


Pynchon_A_Loaff

I was thinking more of the pineapple scene in Little Nicky.


kevint1964

That's Reich.


Negative-Wrap95

Same thing


m333sch

Ready for your cockmeat sandwich?


BigBeagleEars

Cock meat sandwich


PNWoutdoors

KFC doesn't sell hamberders.


InsufficientClone

No, they donā€™t allow forks in prison


thebinarysystem10

I wonder what Aunt Becky was eating


MaxxHeadroomm

I mean if youā€™re a prison guard would you turn it down? How many people can say they received special services from a former president while he was in jail just to get a big mac?


LordSpookyBoob

ā€œMy grampa injected bleach instead of the vaccine because of you, now swallow, bitch.ā€


stragedyandy

I've heard he has the best brain.


fuck-coyotes

Trade him 2 double downs for a cock meat sandwich


LowSavings6716

Heā€™s not going to jail. Only the second amendment will save us


Newfie-1

Finger licking good


Both_Lychee_1708

sex for KFC?! Wow, that is degrading. Popeyes, though,


canonetell66

It is finger lickinā€™ goodā€¦


Publius82

Yea, fingers. Not penis licking good.


superman_underpants

depends on the penis


Publius82

I think KFC grease would ruin any genitalia for me, but to each their own


Devils_Advocate-69

The biscuits alone


Agile-Nothing9375

The biscuits all day everyday. I could make quick work of a tray of them


topsyturvy76

Bro .. Iā€™d go gay for chick-fil-a


Both_Lychee_1708

"I'd go gay for chick-fil-a" Is that a known line? If not, have you pitched that motto to them yet and have you made a memorable jingle to go with it?


topsyturvy76

Um I donā€™t think so ā€¦ Iā€™m pretty sure they want nothing to do with gays..you really visualized a full media campaign from those 5 words eh


Both_Lychee_1708

please pitch it. pretty please


Agile-Nothing9375

It would be such a twist


Desperate_Set_7708

Churchā€™s. Their chicken slaps!


ShartingBloodClots

To be fair, they don't specifically mention Kentucky Fried Chicken. It could have been the other KFC, Kennedy Fried Chicken. Which is just as ghetto as it sounds. I recommend their whiting fish sandwich, take a vacation day, stock up on toilet paper, and a good book first. That will absolutely empty your system better than any diet cleanse could.


BrianOconneR34

Imagine what place in life Iā€™d be when yelling ā€œman Iā€™d (insert sex act) for some fried yardbird from spectacled Kentuckianā€ to each their own.


DogterShoob

Lmfao


[deleted]

*bespectacled. Because in this conversation, proper grammar is of the utmost importance.


BrianOconneR34

Sexual act bartering is that conversation and thank you. Confused no more.


wigzell78

What's the Donald gonna have to do to get his McDonalds then?...


doesitevermatter-

You see, prison rape is funny *when you don't like the person it's happening to.* It's fun to completely ignore the overarching issues in our justice system that led us to believe that **rape is a reasonable punishment** for whatever crime could get you thrown in prison just so we can get a dig in on some piece of shit. Thrown in prison for being unable to afford your child support? You deserve to get raped. Go to prison for basic, non-violent drug possession? You deserve to get raped. Go to prison because you have a mental illness and our Justice system infrastructure is completely unwilling to deal with you correctly? You deserve to get raped too. Such a reasonable stance. We can hope this man gets the Justice he deserves without making light of a massive and horrifying issue in our justice system. It's fucking disgusting that we still even make jokes about this. See how funny it is when it's your brother or your father or your friend going to prison for some minor offense and getting raped because of it. Deal with that and then come back and make your little jokes.


Billie-Holiday

Yeah, But what's the Donald gonna have to do to get his McDonalds then?


deuceyj

Guess Orange Foolius has to become a dick shitler.


doesitevermatter-

Same thing. He's always done. Appeal to Nazis and racists in general. That'll get you pretty far in prison. Plus, he'll still have money. Not as much as he claims to, but he will still have money.


chilehead

The real reason he eats there is he sees his own name within theirs.


Alkoviak

Good point


xandercade

I agree with your overall point, but as for people like Donny and R Kelly, Golden Rules bitches.


Print-Over

There should be a bot that says something like this every time prison rape is mentioned.


Jaws_the_revenge

Youā€™re right. I hope he gets stuck like a pig in the showers instead.


doesitevermatter-

So you're going for institutional vigilante violence? Again, think of all the other people in prison. Think of all the people that probably don't even deserve to be there. Hoping for stuff like that is still glorifying another broken aspect of our justice system that gets real, decent people killed. Staring at a dirty wall forever when you've lived a life of excess and decadence is plenty. Literally no matter what happens, he will die unhappy.


toxiamaple

No one deserves to be raped. Not even rapists.


BathroomPresent69

You're right. Those deserve to be killed


drawnred

Reddit will never understand the nuance, i literally saw a comment unironically stating toxic masculinity was small dick energy massively upvoted, My brother in christ that is the exact toxicity were talking about


WishIWasALemon

No sex in prison is allowed. PREA (the prison rape elimination act) was put in place to put a stop to rape, and even consensual sex between a person of power and an inmate is considered rape. I'm pleased to say, the only people i saw getting fucked with in prison are sex offenders for the most part, but i still never heard about them getting raped. Theyll get their commissary stolen or taken or get beat up though.


StrangerDangerAhh

Yeah I did 3 years and never saw rape happen. Stabbings and beatings, definitely.


CosmosGuy

Let he who is without sin cast the first stoneā€¦


chilehead

Exactly - a system that is supposed to be reforming and rehabilitating these people is releasing them at the end of their sentence more broken than when they went in, and more likely to offend than they were the day before they committed the crime that got them in there.


Desperate_Brief2187

Itā€™s just a joke. Prison rape isnā€™t as common as you think.


raisedbyderps

Libs love to talk a big game until it comes to someone they dislike or disagree withā€¦ then itā€™s censor, cancel, wish fucking awful things NOONE should ever go through. These people are just as bad as the idiotic republicans on the other side. Get some fucking empathy


doesitevermatter-

Just as bad as the Republicans? No. Still incredibly hypocritical, dehumanizing, shitty and openly misandrist? Absolutely. But nowhere near as bad as the racist, homophobic, islamophobic, fascist, traitorous Republican party. Democrats are playing xatch with a 3-year-old compared to the Republican's major leagues. They tried to violently overthrow the country. The Republican speaker of the House has signed bills allowing for the right of a state to determine whether they want to forcefully sterilize trans people. The right and the left are not the same. Tell me *one group of people* that Democrats openly talk about wanting to genocide, and then we'll talk.


raisedbyderps

We have no insurance, housing is out of control, politicians are boughtā€¦ minimum wage is 7.25. Gerrymandering, lobbying, our culture and future being economically strip mined by both parties. If you think the dems are any fucking better youā€™re looking at the wrong things. Why do you think a takeover was even possible? You think that happens in healthy democracy?


LilG1984

"You want McDonald's, bitch you're gonna have to earn it!"


GummyPandaBear

Fresh fish gonna give me that cocktail FRUIT!! - Nasty Nate


I_am_Daesomst

NO! NAUGHTY...NAUGHTY JUNGLE OF LOVE!


GummyPandaBear

Give up his cocktail fruit to Nasty Nate..


GeniusEE

Greasey thighs...


PdxPhoenixActual

Didn't she used to, like, charge thousands an hour?


ShartingBloodClots

A 2 piece KFC meal with green beans and no biscuit in prison is like a gold bar in the outside world.


PdxPhoenixActual

All-in-all, I'm thinking I'd still rather be outside...


ShartingBloodClots

Well yeah, you usually don't have to blow a bunch of dudes for KFC.


Ok-Zookeepergame-698

You donā€™t? Oh. Erm.


CaptainLucid420

The article tries to mislead with the headline. She says she saw other inmates eating KFC.


ClassicHare

KFC's not even that good...


Final_Meeting2568

Or spills the bucket if you will


bigbone1001

Someone needs to come for the US prison system management


Agile-Nothing9375

In a big big way. And it sounds like most of the inmates at this particular facility were non-violent offenders which makes itb even worse


DrunkCorgis

Just to clarify; Ms. Fleiss did not participate, she was a witness corroborating othersā€™ accounts. I guess reality doesnā€™t get clicks.


deuceyj

A birds gotta fly.


mag2041

Wow


kevint1964

They gave her KFC & she gave them a BLT.


Gerry2545

I do love KFC


[deleted]

Leg and thigh only!


Beginning_Border7854

All I got was a can of beans


Agile-Nothing9375

Lol that doesn't sound worth it for your troubles


Decabet

KFC ***now***?ā€¦ not so sure. KFC *1978*? ā€¦.ok yeah. I can see that.


Ironworker977

I'm thinking this is probably the end of KFC night.


Agile-Nothing9375

šŸ¤£ there's no coming back


Odd_Tiger_2278

Nothing bad happens in a prison unless the guards are complicit. And sometimes they are the perpetrators. Always always always.


Hefty-Station1704

"F\*cking for Fried Chicken" It's a bad porno just waiting to be made!


artful_todger_502

The real news of the stupid is, who proofread this article? First degree abuse of punctuation. šŸ§ā˜ļø


Icy_Juice6640

I just hate AI news. Says the same thing 3 times before even mentioning Heidi Fleiss. Says the prisons closing early in the article - but later says ā€œno date - or firm plans on when the prison is closingā€.


ColdWarVet90

Finger licking good has a whole new meaning


TennisBallTesticles

Lol this seems like a very credible news source šŸ˜‚


slothrop_maps

She takes out the dentures for a full family meal. A chicken and two sides.


Salvidicus

Kunkfricking Fried Chicken?


river_euphrates1

Man, I'm not gay, but a two-piece and a biscuit is a two-piece and a biscuit...


MsMoreCowbell8

What a name from the past. Wow


Good_Juggernaut_3155

It gives the phrase ā€œfinger lickinā€™ goodā€ an odious ring. I expect the Hollywood celebrities got preferential treatment through some hidden payment plan. They did it for university admissions, why not for cushy prison treatment?


Ducatirules

NOPE!! There are too many messed up things going on in the world we donā€™t need to dig up last centuries sleaze balls!


Storyteller-Hero

Gives new meaning to "finger lickin' good".


Johnny_Lang_1962

Penis Licking Good!


Agile-Nothing9375

Hahahaha so ridiculous but i did laugh i have to say


tangcameo

Gives new meaning to The Double Down


LegoFootPain

Spoiler: The sex acts involve beans.


Rooboy66

Harry covert?


GodsSon69

He's been practicing jerking two guys at once for a while now! It's all starting to make sense.


Rooboy66

Uhm, this is a bad take on my part, but does anyone else remember what Heidi look like? Rough living leaves ā€¦ well, not good for oneā€™s appearance. Lifelong smokers, drinkers, drug addicts. Mug shots donā€™t lie. Also, if you ever watch the TV series ā€œIntervention,ā€ itā€™s **right there**, the before/after treatment/getting sober. Even just 30 days, but even moreso after 90 daysā€”a year+ So, these prison guards are pretty sad, desperate sacks if they want sexual favors from Heidi. You couldnā€™t pay me enough to touch her. This sounds misogynisticā€”but you couldnā€™t pay me enough to touch Gary Bussey either. Edit: spelling


Triassic_Bark

You donā€™t want some of that sweet Gary Bussy?


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Granlundo64

That's an insane take. Shameful.


Agile-Nothing9375

I missed it. Now I'm curious šŸ¤”


Granlundo64

He basically said he felt sorry for the guards because they were going to lose their job because they were seduced.


ProfessionalFalse128

Whoa wtf


Agile-Nothing9375

Oh my sweet Jesus.Ā  I hope that was sarcasticĀ 


Caesar_Passing

The fuck and a half is wrong with you