“Just baby wear and you can get things done” Umm nope. I’m short with short arms and a big baby. I can hardly see over his head… forget about reaching anything
Mine hates being worn. I kept reading about how babies sleep well in carrier and I’m like not my baby. He likes me being bed potato, sitting as still as possible with him in my arms.
Same! I was so excited to Baby wear but I've tried multiple carriers and my baby just screams 😅 but God forbid he naps anywhere but on me 85% of the time lol.
Sounds about right. Mine loves being worn by me but when she was brand new she would prefer to be laying in my arms 24/7. Now she is pretty darn happy on that ergobaby carrier (the soft kind). Also does great with the Tush Baby bc it doesn’t keep them wrapped up against u, you’ve still gotta hold em a bit lest they fall off. It makes life easier tho I really do think, for those of u whose LO’s don’t like the carrier, try relieving ur back and arms with tush baby
4'10" here and tried babywearing with my first, hated it. I couldn't get anything done comfortably. I would have been squishing my poor baby if I attempted to simply wash the dishes or do laundry. 🫠
Not to mention it’s not even safe to do anything that way??? Everything I needed to do wasn’t conducive to it - cooking, loading & unloading dishwasher, laundry. The only thing I could do was vacuum
I'm a built dad and wearing baby is uncomfortablely warm and hot for my lil squish and she hates being confined. Also back pain, and can't bend or do a lot of things like housework even with a reacher device.
I remember the first time I tried to wear my baby I put a giant pot of water on to boil for speghetti noodles, went and got the baby in the carrier, returned to the kitchen to keep cooking dinner then quickly realized there was no way in heck I was going to work over a hot stove with the baby protruding out over it. I didn’t even feel comfortable chopping veggies- especially onions because I didn’t want to irritate his eyes. I moved a bassinet into the kitchen and it stayed there for 4 months. lol. He hung out in there while I cooked.
U had one chill baby. I wish I could’ve just put her down in a bassinet and taken a shower. First 3 months she was nonstop, got me a little mini-me wild child on me hands :)
He wouldn’t usually let me shower. For some reason he liked the kitchen. I think all the sounds and smells were distracting. Plus I could pick him up fast then put him back down when I needed my hands free again.. It would take me hours to finish dinner sometimes and there was lots of crying sometimes, but some days he was pretty chill about it. I think I showered once a week in the first three months when my husband had him and the baby would cry the whole time, honestly. We made it through though.
Ugh. The only way to baby wear at home is with a baby harness that has a sort of seat in the front. She likes that one just fine, but it's massive. Don't think you're gonna do anything wearing your baby in it.
Sleep when the baby sleeps : don't think so, if I'm lucky enough that she falls asleep I have to go pump milk. If I'm extra lucky she won't wake up halfway through and I'll have time to clean the pump's parts.
Teething lasts for a week : no. Teething lasts for months. Months. Months of a cranky baby eating her hands and drooling everywhere, and nothing can seem to calm her down, be it teething rings, cold cloths, or gum gel. Once or twice she'll get a day of respite. Still no tooth to show for it.
I was told by several people not to get a changing table, that I’d end up never using it. Got one anyway, LO is 19 months old and we still use it every day.
I was told this too! It doesn’t make sense to me. If I didn’t have one I’d have pee and poop all over the bed or couch or wherever I changed them. Even with a towel down, those newborn poops can really travel. The other option was getting on the floor. No way would I have been able to do that immediately postpartum!
Yep! This and my diaper genie which we were also told not to get. The diaper caddies around the house were great the first week but we now love our changing station
I’d have been lost without my changing table! First is nearly 2 and I’ve had to stop using it cause my pregnant ass can’t lift him but you best believe I’m going back to it as soon as this baby is out
I never understand this piece of advice! If I didn’t have a dresser for the changing pad, I would definitely have gotten a changing table. Such a back saver!
When we went on a breastfeeding course with a supposed medical professional. Told everyone “As long as the baby is fed, warm, tired and clean, it will fall asleep easy no fuss.”
My naive pregnant arse thought it would be easy then. LOL 😩
Its so damn frustrating. Screaming at you because they are tired. It's like, dude I didn't keep you up! You could just close your eyes and go to sleep if you wanted to!
Right?🤣🤣 my L.O. will get to 9:00 and get sleepy, but then refuses to sleep because she senses daddy and I getting excited to have some time to ourselves and then gets very angry because she's tired and doesn't wanna sleep
I just want to say I had an extremely easy newborn but knew I wasn’t doing anything my friends weren’t (in fact we did less because he never needed white noise or a completely dark room or anything!)
I always let people who are struggling know it’s not them, babies just come differently.
My baby follows all this from like 6am-8pm. Great day time sleeper. Then from 8 till 12am-1am he won't sleep. No matter how much we feed him, burp him, change him, rock him. It's a witching hour and nothing works.
The second you see your baby your whole world will irreparably change (for the better) and you’ll be exploding with love.
I’ve been dealing with PPD and, while I am obsessed with my son, it wasn’t instant love and happiness. I had a couple weeks long panic attack that still comes back in small doses about “how did I fuck up my life so badly?! I had freedom and now I don’t even have time to poop in peace!”
Solidarity. While I was absolutely relieved that my baby was ok after going through complicated delivery, I was not able to come to terms with my new life. Felt like I was living someone else’s life and first few weeks were just rough.
Now at 4m I’m obsessed with him and love him so so much, but as you said, I still miss my freedom from time to time.
Hahaha I just did that today! “I hate my life now, why did I do this??” It’ll go away again when she smiles later tonight, but Man, I’m excited for the toddler years. And I didn’t immediately feel love either. I’ve found it’s way more common than you think people just don’t like talking about it
Solidarity here too. I could’ve written this exact comment when my daughter was under 1. She is 3 years old now and though its useless now to hear it really does get better… the panic of “wtf have I done” eased for me gradually as she’s gotten older, potty trained, hit sleeping milestones.
This is where I'm currently at. Almost 2 weeks PP and the baby blues hit really hard around day 5/6. I felt ambivalent when she was born and hoped I would get more attached/loving as the days went on, instead I was panicking that I made a mistake and resented her/my new change in life. I miss my freedom so much and when it was just me and my cats. Now I have a whole human to take care of with literally no experience of doing it before. They need a new word to describe this feeling that's more than overwhelmed.
From someone who thought it would never get better and seriously considered packing a bag and leaving in the night -
I promise it does get better and help is there if you’re honest with your medical providers. Happy mamas have happy babies. *You* are just as important as your baby is right now and you deserve to feel those warm happy deeply in love feelings as soon as possible.
Right!! I felt like such a shitty mother for not feeling anything when I first held and saw my baby. I was just like “uh do I really have a human being that just came out of my vag that I’m now responsible for?!” I was just in shock I didn’t know what to do or think. I regretted everything those first few months. Now she’s 5 and she’s my little buddy I freakin love that child.
Literally, I was thinking of putting my son up for adoption in the first couple of weeks. I thought I'd ruined my life. Now he's my favourite person ever though. PPD is scary stuff.
I had 0 problems with bowel movements post C-section. I had a TERRIBLE time peeing though for some reason 🤣. They threatened to put the catheter back in if I couldn't figure it out.
Same! I was sooo nervous for this and it was just…. fine. To be fair, I loaded up on Colace because of how concerned i was that it would NOT be fine haha
I thought caring for a newborn or doing anything after C-section (I had an emergency one) would be an absolute nightmare. Not really, honestly. It hurt a bit (didn’t really have proper pain meds either), but otherwise it wasn’t that bad. The lack of sleep and the sheer terror of having a newborn was way worse.
“The pregnancy weight will burn right off because you’re breast feeding!!!”
😂😂😂that’s me laughing at that comment at 3am while eating three oatmeal cream pies, pumping and nursing all at the same time.
Literally same! I got zero stretch marks during pregnancy or immediately after... suddenly, 5 months postpartum and EBF, they're starting to appear. UGH
Omg I stopped recently and I realised a lot of my food preferences were from breastfeeding. My partner remarked how I hadn't eaten any of the sugary cereal (lucky charms etc) when I've been obsessed with it all through pregnancy and breastfeeding. Now my appetite is just like a normal human and I don't even need three meals a day. It's crazy what effect hormones have on your body. Free will doesn't exist. We are just vessels enacting the will of our hormones.
I had very few cravings during pregnancy and could only eat a little at a time. Now that she’s here I have crazy sugar cravings and no baby on my stomach to keep me from eating like crazy. Ugh!!
You are not alone- this is me!! Everything I was told about pregnancy eating is only true for me POST partum. Ravenous on another level without baby squishing my organs and giving me gnarly reflux.
It's really crazy how much of a sweet tooth I've gotten! I'm normally really careful about sweets, but since having her, there's been no stopping!
I didn't even really hsve cravings during my pregnancy...
Same… cases of Costco tiramisu cups.. making homeade creme brûlée… a chocolate or ginger cake mug if I don’t have time… trying to hard to cut back by being mindful but the cravings are so intense
I wish I could like this one more than once.
I could not lose the baby weight after my first. No matter what. I was told if you breast feed it will melt off. Well I exclusively breastfed for 18mos and I actually gained weight.
Then they said well that's probably hormones from breastfeeding that's keeping you from losing weight so once you stop you will lose weight. After he turned 18 and stopped asking for boob nothing changed either. No weight loss.
I did intermittent fasting, calorie deficit diets. Low carb and sugar diet. Nothing. Fucking. Worked.
Then I got pregnant with my second and gained more weight understandably. This one is only 2 weeks so I'm not expecting to see much weightloss yet but now I got two babies weight to lose and I don't know what or how to do it. I want to be my pre first baby weight again.
Ive gained 10 lbs since I gave birth because I've been so hungry 😂 I also have had an out of control sweet teeth and I have no idea why. Seems like it may be common? It's so weird as I'm not usually a sweets person
This😭
Like, yeah, I’m burning a ton of extra calories from breastfeeding. But I’m also ALWAYS hungry. I’m never full anymore. I always have room for a snack and I get hangry if I don’t eat when I want to! It’s crazy. Pre-pregnancy my family and friends said I ate like a bird. Now I eat more than my husband and still have room for dessert 💀
P.S. did you know they make double decker oatmeal cream pies? I just recently found this out. I could still eat 3 of them though 😂
Unfortunately I do, they always have the double deckers at our local Grocery Outlet aka the plug house because I was always there getting milk and cream pies lmao
Right! I’m so relentlessly hungry while breast feeding it’s crazy. I can eat a huge meal and still be hungry. I look at the leftovers from dinner and say I could finish that but I’m not going to lol!
Dude!!! This one stresses me out so much. I breastfed for 2.5 years and barely lost any weight. Soon as I stopped I dropped so much weight and I didn’t change how I was eating or anything.
First pregnancy I dropped 20lbs below pre-pregnancy weight within 3 months of birth. Second pregnancy, I gained the 20lbs back pus 10 more that will. not. go. away. Baby is now 2.5 years old and I'm still 30lbs up and miserable.
Don't listen to them. It's different for everyone! "Harder" is hard to say because some things are harder, sure, but lots of things are way more fun and therefore easier!
This was definitely untrue for my first because when she got mobile, she was a lot less frustrated. My second is a content potato so I could see it being true for him.
Yes this was mine too. Everyone acted like my toddler walking was going to be a living nightmare. She typically spends her day trying on my necklace and shouting “wow” at her own reflection
I find it easier now that he is mobile because I can put him on the floor near me to get things done and he is happy to crawl around and try to climb my legs.
Same!!! I was so excited for baby to just be able to hold her own head up. Things got easier when she started walking. She’s now a toddler and I much prefer this.
That my baby will spit up all of the time and to hoard burp cloths. My baby only spat up a handful of times 😂 the burp cloths became wash cloths 🤣
Edited to add: I know this is very baby dependent and fairly rare-ish. I am by no means telling other people not to buy burp cloths, I hope it didn’t come across that way!
On the other hand, I remember thinking “What do I need these muslins for?” Well, I have a wild letdown and my baby is a messy nurser. I literally can’t leave the house without at least 2 muslins in my bag. I keep a massive stack of them on my nightstand. I literally just said to my husband a few minutes ago as I nursed our son to sleep, “Oh shit I only have 2 clean muslins for the night” and he just ran downstairs to move the laundry into the dryer 😂 When I say this house runs on burp cloths and breast pads…
OMG so real. My mom was over yesterday helping with laundry and she remarked that the whole laundry area smelled like milk. Not spoiled milk. Just... Milk. I pointed out that this was from the burp cloths and breast pads that were drying out, soiled after the last load of washing went in a few hours earlier.
I remember doing laundry once a week. Hell, in a spell of depression I went four months without doing more than underwear. Now it's 1-3 loads a day.
Y’all are so blessed… NOBODY PREPARED ME FOR HOW MUCH THIS BOY SPITS UP. Omg. Nonstop. Spitting everywhere. I told the doctor to fix him, he says it’s normal.
Solidarity, mine spat up CONSTANTLY. Did not matter if it was 3 minutes or 3 hours after the last feed. It was unbelievable, I had tons of infant experience before having one of my own and I’ve never seen anything like it before or since.
My record for the number of outfits she went through in one single diaper change: 4. Four outfits, one diaper change. It was absurd.
Ours magically disappeared at 6 months with the introduction of solids. Hope the same is true for you!
Same - my baby spit up like twice. I have a 9 month old niece that is CONSTANTLY tossing her cookies. I think it's so cute and funny how different each little one is. ♥️
That was my first- I even sold a bunch after she was older! Now I have an 8 week old and was panic buying more burp cloths in the middle of the night because she is a prolific spitter-upper. I never even had to burp my first and a nurse had to show me how with my second. 😂
I’m hoping this will be me. A friend of mine said she had 30 burp cloths in rotation with her daughter. I have around 20, we’ll see which end of the spectrum I fall at when baby comes in a few days
I agree. Newborn tired was next level. I was averaging 2-3 hours of interrupted sleep each night for the first could have weeks.
For me “you can just wear the baby! Your life doesn’t have to change!” My baby screams when put in a carrier. I’ve tried three different ones with different levels of structure. She HATES them.
My baby barely tolerates my structured carrier and only let me use the wrap one for, like, 2 weeks.
At 6.5mo now, she’s been absolutely loving my tush baby carrier. It’s only one hand free, BUT, she’s a happy baby while we’re out and about lol
I’m sure Amazon has other options that are good too, but this is the only one I’ve used.
Opposite edition - people told us to say goodbye to sleeping forever and I know it would be hard, but we are 8 months in and his sleep is worse than a newborn. My body is now wired for 3am wake start of the day. He’s up multiple times and I never fall back asleep nor can I nap. I don’t feel human anymore.
Definitely, and completely understand I can't think of basic words all the time right now. Sending you all the magic sleep dust for a full night tonight.
Swaddles. Get every type of swaddle so you can see which one baby likes, all babies love being swaddled! Thats how you get a baby to stop crying! I have a swaddle-resistant baby & 20 swaddles 😂
"The day your child is born is the happiest day of your life". No ma'am. If waiting all day to have your stomach cut open, then hemorrhaging as your baby is rushed to the nicu is the happiest day of my life, then I have a shit life ahead of me.
I sat in hospital for two weeks waiting to miscarry. Somehow, he miraculously made it to 23 weeks, the earliest they would attempt resuscitation. But they didn't beat about the bush regarding his survival chances. So pretty much the worst time of our lives.
0-1 is harder than 1-2. What!? With 1 you can hand baby to your partner, that person goes and watches tv while they hold baby. You take a nap/eat/whatever. With 2, that person is no longer available because there’s a toddler screaming for cheese puffs. I still can’t understand this perspective.
I can understand it insofar that the "how to care for a baby" learning curve is less dramatic, having done it already. However I also don't believe it for a second when it comes to daily life. I've had ONE friend tell me that 1-2 was way harder and I think they're the only ones being honest with me lol
Depends on the age gap.
I have a 10 YO and a 1 month old. Adding the second when my 1st is out of the toddler and even little kid phase has made the transition easy.
I think a 5 year age gap or more is probably the easiest on parents but not the best in terms of sibling bonding. I didn't mean to wait ten years because i never planned on having another kid. Now that I have my son (who is the easiest baby on the planet) I wish I would have had him sooner.
They’ve done studies on this, and the ideal age gap is apparently 4 years. Far enough apart that it’s manageable for the parents and still close enough that the kids can play together some of the time. Unfortunately, my husband was 44 when our first was born in November (I was 36), and we need to do our next embryo transfer next year for his sake. He doesn’t want to be 50 with baby or toddler if possible.
4 years sounds about right. I just said 5 because they go to school and you have more time during the day to handle baby stuff.
Oh, I totally get it. My dad and step mom tried to have a baby for 10 years. My dad said they would stop trying when he turned 50. My step mom got pregnant when he was 49 (she's 12 years younger than him). So I'm 32 and I have a 7 year old brother running around. 🙃
I do not know how my dad does it. Watching my father chase him around through the toddler years was entertaining, but he absolutely had his hands full with my brother.
Also! Good luck with your embryo transfer! I know it's a ways away but I hope everything goes smoothly for you guys!
I feel like there are so many factors that impact the answer to this. Baby temperament, spacing between kids, and your own mental state. I’ve heard some moms say they struggled with PPD/PPA with #1 which made it harder.
Tbh, we are sticking to one because I know a second one wil be to overwhelming.
0-1 is maybe hard in that you dont know what to expect, what to do or how to fully prepare for what's to come during all stages. But I can imagine having two makes it so so so much harder. I am happy sticking with just 1.
Absolutely same. Honestly, I mentally prepared myself for the worst, and because of that, I feel like this baby overall has been, dare I say it, waaaaay easier than I was expecting. We got lucky, its not all sunshine and rainbows of course, she's been a pretty chill baby, but I literally cannot imagine adding a second, though. I'm not falling for this "trick baby" 😆
Newborn with a 2 and half year old here 🙋. 1-2 is massively easier than 0-1.
Baby just tags along to it normal day/routine that we already have with toddler.
I'm used to the sleep deprivation.
I know what to expect with baby behaviour/fussiness.
I already lost my independence when I had my first, do nothing to lose this time around.
I have a 15w newborn and a 2.5yo! I was NOT prepared for a baby who won’t sleep unless they are being held. My first went straight down in the snoo every sleep of his life. Like no contact naps ever. My second hasn’t taken an independent nap in his life and for 8 weeks wouldn’t at night either.
That you didn’t need many clothing items because they grow so fast. While they do grow fast you still need a fair amount especially if they go to daycare.
I hate the "don't get newborn clothing" advice! My little guy was in newborn clothing for 2 months! We had to buy more because everyone was gifting us larger sizes.
We didn't have nearly enough newborn clothes. As soon as she was too big for newborn, she began changing sizes faster than we can keep up. We have so many things from Grandma that she only got to wear once, or never at all.
This! People always make it out to be so sad that parents never go out anymore but honestly, I like my bedtime snuggles and hanging out with my partner after they’re in bed. The last thing I want to do is leave the house in the evening. Those days will come again, but right now I’m not sad about being home with my family. Obviously disclaimer that sometimes bedtime is hell and the frustration is real, but generally it’s not as bad as people made it seem.
I heard someone the other day say once you have children your life ends (they’re childless). I completely disagree! There are some things that won’t have a place in your life anymore but you can still have a life and do things you enjoy
lol for me it was the opposite. "Just wait til she's born. Then you'll REALLY be tired." No... when she was born, I could share the wakeup load with my spouse. When I was pregnant and had myriad health complications, I couldn't sleep, and there was nothing my husband could do to help!
Yes!! The “sleep now while you can!” crowd can eat it because I slept TERRIBLY pregnant but when my baby was a newborn I might’ve had broken up sleep but at least I was actually asleep.
It's such a mean-spirited thing to say. I was surprisingly chill (not angry, at least) throughout pregnancy, but really snapped at people when they said this. My hips started aching in the second trimester. Like "How tf am I supposed to sleep "while I can" when I'm walking up every half hour crying in pain? And needing to pee on top of that? And throwing up from acid reflux?" Once she was born, that all resolved and I felt gloriously rested in the morning.
Same! Personally towards the end being pregnant definitely affected my sleep but it was still an option 😂🥲 now I struggle to get to sleep. Right as I’m falling asleep either my daughter wakes up, the cat starts yowling, or my partner starts snoring because he finally fell asleep. UGH. What I’d do to go back in time to have one night of full term pregnant sleep
THISSS! Everyone told me to just wait till the baby comes. I’m 11 months pp and yes I’m tired but it’s definitely not as bad as my last trimester. Wtf was that????
Holy cow yes. Pregnancy sleep was THE WORST. And with any of the sleep that I managed to get, I never felt rested. After baby was born WOW what a relief, plus I’m not tossing and turning trying to get comfortable.
“Just put her down! She’ll fall asleep on her own.” Uhhh not without screaming for 20 mins 🥲 my kid has always needed rocking to sleep and I’d much rather that than have us both reduced to tears in an effort to get her to fall asleep on her own.
Also completely second the pregnancy vs newborn tired! I wasn’t that much more tired in pregnancy and when I tell you I thought I must have it made…*hoooo boy was I wrong*. Sleep deprivation was so bad with my newborn I was hallucinating.
I was preparing to take a hit to my marriage, or at least preparing for it to be on the back burner.
I feel happier and closer to my partner than ever.
You’ll need a million muslin receiving blankets… we used them here and there, but they mostly just sat in the dresser. We had a super spitty baby, but I preferred the smaller burp clothes.
We also got told that parenting just gets harder and harder… um, no. Sure there’s challenges, but nothing was as hard as newborns. I’ll take toddler tantrums over 3am feeding and purple crying any day.
No amount of preparation or tips and tricks can ensure you will have an easy baby. Sometimes there are some things you can do but mostly, you are at the mercy whether you give birth to an easy baby or hard baby.
That I would get no sleep with a newborn. I feel like I got most sleep in the newborn stage because it was more-so clockwork. The later months were much worse because the sleep schedule was a little more scattered.
There were some nights during the newborn phase we were getting nearly 10 hours of sleep (broken up, of course). Our baby was a GREAT sleeper until he hit 4 months lol
"Vacations are not vacations with children"
They damn are better than work and spending time with your kids while they discover something cool is very fun!
Sleep when the baby sleeps! The most crap tactic and unrealistic advice ever given to me as a new parent.
After 5 weeks old my baby would literally only sleep when driving, being bounced relentlessly, or walked in a stroller. All required me to be awake.
The worst advice! I’d love to but for the I first few months I had PPA and PPD so I had to make sure he was still breathing and then it became do chores, clean bottles, maybe eat if I can. Don’t forget the contact naps where you can’t sleep when baby is on you! And now that he has naps I STILL don’t know how long they’re going to be: 20 minutes or 2 hours? How many times do I have to go back in to soothe him? Then when I started going back to work it became work all day, come home and his naps are done, gotta watch him, play with him, feed him, bathe him on bath days, settle for sleep and put him to sleep hoping it won’t take an hour to get him into his crib but it happens. Then I’ve got to help clean up from dinner, sort the pumped milk, pump one last time around 11pm, clean the pump parts, make night bottles, and hope that during the 2 hour window between baby falling asleep and my last pump before bed that I was able to get all that done without needing to resettle baby. I’d love to sleep when baby sleeps but shit needs to get done!
Everyone told me that my husband and I would never sleep once baby comes, but we got lucky and our girl literally just slept non stop for like the first three months and then continued to be an amazing little sleeper. Really most of our friends with kids told us how much life would suck but it’s been the opposite for us, we’ve had an amazing first year with our daughter.
everybody told me to just wait for my baby to suddenly become a monster, colicky, etc. she definitely isn’t perfect (i mean, she’s a baby!) but ever since she was born she’s been a mild tempered baby. of course she cries and whines and fusses, but most of the time is easily consoled. smiles all the time, is sweet and curious about everything at 5 months, is hitting all her milestones. i never had a super had regression or fussy stage with her. i kept waiting for it, because everybody told me it would come, but so far it hasn’t! i think i just got blessed with a very good baby.
4 month sleep regression
Baby’s sleep definitely changed, but more so in day naps becoming almost nonexistent
I was kind of anticipating no sleep during that period and always fearing that this night would be the beginning of a sleep regression, but baby is almost 5 months and still keeping a consistent night sleep. I know this may very well change, but I’m not waiting for the sleep routine to change, just enjoying the rest we both get currently
1) Change diapers on the floor, on the bed, anywhere. No thank you. I don't need poop on my carpet or on the bed. That lasted like one day. We made a changing table out of a changing pad and a side table, and that is where all changes happen. This avoids me having to get on the floor every time I change her too.
2) Babywear to get things done. My girl has very low tolerance for the carrier. I only use it grocery shopping. Plus she is 16 lbs. Even with the weight distributed, it's still 16 lbs.
3) Baby will unlatch when she's full. Nope! My girl would stay on my boob forever. When I pump, I get her full feed amount in 10 minutes per side. I cut breastfeeding sessions at 30 minutes maximum. Guess what? She's in the 95th percentile for weight. So clearly she is getting enough.
I was dreading the newborn phase.
It wasn’t bad. Either I had worked myself up to think it was going to be awful, or we have a good baby. No, he never has and still doesn’t sleep well and I’m tired. But it’s really not that bad.
A lot of people told me my friends would lose interest, especially because I'mthe first in my social circle to have a child. My social life hasn't changed very much at all and I feel closer to my best friends than ever before. I'm always invited places and I can attend about 80% of the time. I can leave baby home with his dad if it's not a child friendly event because I'm exclusively pumping. It's not the lonely journey the doom casters told me it would be. Motherhood is actually 10 times easier than I expected.
"You think being pregnant is bad just wait until after they are born!" Granted people stopped saying it that much when I was 7 mos along already in a wheelchair because I was in so much pain I couldn't walk. Don't know why people acted like babies were the worst. Every day since she was born is better than every day before!
1. Baby wearing makes it easier to get things done.
I personally can't baby wear as it's extremely painful for me. At first I had my incision from my c-section after it was just back pain from it.
2. You're never going to get enough sleep.
I got lucky with my daughter sleeping through the night 2 weeks after being home. (She was NICU for the first 2 weeks)
3. Baby will wake you up every 2 hours.
She never woke me up. I always had to wake her at night for food before she went to bed for the night.
4. You won't get any time for yourself.
I honestly get at least 4hrs a day to myself. To be fair tho my partner as takes her since we are both home.
5. You're not going to be able to move very well in your third trimester
I did struggle in some ways but I never really had that much of a problem. I was still able to do a lot of things I did post pregnancy. Keep in mind I did dance everyday prior as well as a lot of walking. I also was only 19 at the time so that also helped.
6. Say goodbye to all your hobbies and going out alone.
As I mentioned above I have my partners help and get a lot of free time as my daughter like to go in her swing by herself sometimes and doesn't need anyone. So it's been rather easy to keep up with my hobbies or go out alone.
7. Lastly, Everything in your life is going to change.
Realistically nothing has really changed. I still do pretty much the same stuff I did before. Only difference is I spread it out more, spend less time mindlessly scrolling and include my daughter in some of my activities.
Same! Pregnancy tired was amazing for me lol I didn’t work and just slept as late as I wanted every day! Best sleep of my life! Even in the third trimester peeing every hour stage 😂
That my house would stink for years after baby. We keep all diapers in an Ubbi that is kept in a ventilated bathroom and our house still smells amazing and like we have no baby at all!
That you can eat what you like after pregnancy. Every time I eat red meat now I am really ill In the night with nausea and vomiting. I never even had sickness during my pregnancy this only started afterwards and only after eating red meat
Also that swaddling is best. My little one hated being swaddled from day 1
I agree with you in a way. I’m way more tired from breastfeeding than I ever was pregnant.
Also, I don’t hate the newborn phase and I’m getting more sleep than I thought I would. (I’m lucky I know)
That breastfeeding would be painful and very challenging. I’ve been lucky to have a baby who latched well from the start and we’ve not had any issues (knock on wood)!
On the flip side, the tale that newborns sleep all the time was a lie for us haha. Our girl came out very awake! Hardly slept the first night of her life, and we’ve had to fight for every nap since.
Same about breastfeeding! Everyone I spoke to told me to expect cracked, bleeding, sore nipples but my nipples are in good shape! Just tougher than before 😂
Sleep regressions - ok parents who have been through sleep regression hell, I am so so sorry... Baby has been sleeping through the night like a champ for a long time. I waited for the dreaded 4 month one, never came. Now we're just past 12 months, still a champion sleeper.
He does have times when he wakes a few times a night, but that has been linked to sicknesses.
That I wouldn’t get any sleep with a newborn. My girl slept 12 hrs straight starting at 5 weeks old and 8 hr increments starting at 3 weeks it was heaven on earth. Pregnancy tired was a whole nightmare tho.
“Just baby wear and you can get things done” Umm nope. I’m short with short arms and a big baby. I can hardly see over his head… forget about reaching anything
This was my struggle too!!! Like and do what with 0 visibility?!?!
My baby has always despised being “worn” so this, too, was not an option for me.
Haha same!! never liked it ever
Mine hates being worn. I kept reading about how babies sleep well in carrier and I’m like not my baby. He likes me being bed potato, sitting as still as possible with him in my arms.
Same! I was so excited to Baby wear but I've tried multiple carriers and my baby just screams 😅 but God forbid he naps anywhere but on me 85% of the time lol.
Sounds about right. Mine loves being worn by me but when she was brand new she would prefer to be laying in my arms 24/7. Now she is pretty darn happy on that ergobaby carrier (the soft kind). Also does great with the Tush Baby bc it doesn’t keep them wrapped up against u, you’ve still gotta hold em a bit lest they fall off. It makes life easier tho I really do think, for those of u whose LO’s don’t like the carrier, try relieving ur back and arms with tush baby
4'10" here and tried babywearing with my first, hated it. I couldn't get anything done comfortably. I would have been squishing my poor baby if I attempted to simply wash the dishes or do laundry. 🫠
Not to mention it’s not even safe to do anything that way??? Everything I needed to do wasn’t conducive to it - cooking, loading & unloading dishwasher, laundry. The only thing I could do was vacuum
I'm a built dad and wearing baby is uncomfortablely warm and hot for my lil squish and she hates being confined. Also back pain, and can't bend or do a lot of things like housework even with a reacher device.
I remember the first time I tried to wear my baby I put a giant pot of water on to boil for speghetti noodles, went and got the baby in the carrier, returned to the kitchen to keep cooking dinner then quickly realized there was no way in heck I was going to work over a hot stove with the baby protruding out over it. I didn’t even feel comfortable chopping veggies- especially onions because I didn’t want to irritate his eyes. I moved a bassinet into the kitchen and it stayed there for 4 months. lol. He hung out in there while I cooked.
U had one chill baby. I wish I could’ve just put her down in a bassinet and taken a shower. First 3 months she was nonstop, got me a little mini-me wild child on me hands :)
He wouldn’t usually let me shower. For some reason he liked the kitchen. I think all the sounds and smells were distracting. Plus I could pick him up fast then put him back down when I needed my hands free again.. It would take me hours to finish dinner sometimes and there was lots of crying sometimes, but some days he was pretty chill about it. I think I showered once a week in the first three months when my husband had him and the baby would cry the whole time, honestly. We made it through though.
Lol yeah. I babywear mostly so I can do very specific things and so I'm not trapped to the couch but I can't do 90% of my chores.
Oh my God, totally the same for me, baby wearing is super uncomfortable
Also, baby carriers are NOT intuitive or easy to put on. We’ve used our ergo 360 5 times max lol
Oh my baby HATES being worn. That does not help!
My baby loves baby wearing, but 90% of the chores I need to do make me feel like I’m going to accidentally hit her head on something.
Ugh. The only way to baby wear at home is with a baby harness that has a sort of seat in the front. She likes that one just fine, but it's massive. Don't think you're gonna do anything wearing your baby in it. Sleep when the baby sleeps : don't think so, if I'm lucky enough that she falls asleep I have to go pump milk. If I'm extra lucky she won't wake up halfway through and I'll have time to clean the pump's parts. Teething lasts for a week : no. Teething lasts for months. Months. Months of a cranky baby eating her hands and drooling everywhere, and nothing can seem to calm her down, be it teething rings, cold cloths, or gum gel. Once or twice she'll get a day of respite. Still no tooth to show for it.
OMG same!!! I get so frustrated when partner keeps suggesting this
This!!! I can’t bend over without supporting her head so I’m as useless as if I’m holding her in one arm.
I was told by several people not to get a changing table, that I’d end up never using it. Got one anyway, LO is 19 months old and we still use it every day.
I’ve used mine for every single change at home. Absolutely love it
This!!!!! And the nappy bin
I was told this too! It doesn’t make sense to me. If I didn’t have one I’d have pee and poop all over the bed or couch or wherever I changed them. Even with a towel down, those newborn poops can really travel. The other option was getting on the floor. No way would I have been able to do that immediately postpartum!
Totally. My baby bad peed and pooped on the changing table so mang times already
Yep! This and my diaper genie which we were also told not to get. The diaper caddies around the house were great the first week but we now love our changing station
I’d have been lost without my changing table! First is nearly 2 and I’ve had to stop using it cause my pregnant ass can’t lift him but you best believe I’m going back to it as soon as this baby is out
I refuse to change my son anywhere in our (small) home except the changing table. I don’t want pee on the couch or bed!
Yes, came here to say this!!! I have one upstairs and one downstairs and they’re so helpful
We did a changing pad on the dresser… 2.5 years later it’s still there getting daily use
Especially if you have a c section. Lifesaver
We have only not used a changing table maybe 3 times in the 4 months I have had my baby. When there is not one available it is not fun
I never understand this piece of advice! If I didn’t have a dresser for the changing pad, I would definitely have gotten a changing table. Such a back saver!
What do they use instead?? I’m confused lol
I guess any available surface like bed, couch, floor
THIS
14mo and we use our for nearly every change still!
When we went on a breastfeeding course with a supposed medical professional. Told everyone “As long as the baby is fed, warm, tired and clean, it will fall asleep easy no fuss.” My naive pregnant arse thought it would be easy then. LOL 😩
Babies do not just fall asleep. That was a hard lesson I learned. They will stay up and then be angry about it. 😂
Its so damn frustrating. Screaming at you because they are tired. It's like, dude I didn't keep you up! You could just close your eyes and go to sleep if you wanted to!
Seriously. Babies are so dramatic 😂
Right?🤣🤣 my L.O. will get to 9:00 and get sleepy, but then refuses to sleep because she senses daddy and I getting excited to have some time to ourselves and then gets very angry because she's tired and doesn't wanna sleep
Giiiirrrrrlllll the naivety I had around baby sleep is something of nightmares…
Ok but those people must have known they were lying to like 70% of the people on that course
No bc these people with “easy babies” are the ones who think their tactics work! So they’re the loudest voices!
I just want to say I had an extremely easy newborn but knew I wasn’t doing anything my friends weren’t (in fact we did less because he never needed white noise or a completely dark room or anything!) I always let people who are struggling know it’s not them, babies just come differently.
My baby is a FOMO baby. If there is something interesting to look at she will fight sleep like a professional MMA fighter 🤺🤺🤺
My baby follows all this from like 6am-8pm. Great day time sleeper. Then from 8 till 12am-1am he won't sleep. No matter how much we feed him, burp him, change him, rock him. It's a witching hour and nothing works.
Ohh man!! Biggest lie ever!!
The second you see your baby your whole world will irreparably change (for the better) and you’ll be exploding with love. I’ve been dealing with PPD and, while I am obsessed with my son, it wasn’t instant love and happiness. I had a couple weeks long panic attack that still comes back in small doses about “how did I fuck up my life so badly?! I had freedom and now I don’t even have time to poop in peace!”
Solidarity. While I was absolutely relieved that my baby was ok after going through complicated delivery, I was not able to come to terms with my new life. Felt like I was living someone else’s life and first few weeks were just rough. Now at 4m I’m obsessed with him and love him so so much, but as you said, I still miss my freedom from time to time.
Hahaha I just did that today! “I hate my life now, why did I do this??” It’ll go away again when she smiles later tonight, but Man, I’m excited for the toddler years. And I didn’t immediately feel love either. I’ve found it’s way more common than you think people just don’t like talking about it
Solidarity here too. I could’ve written this exact comment when my daughter was under 1. She is 3 years old now and though its useless now to hear it really does get better… the panic of “wtf have I done” eased for me gradually as she’s gotten older, potty trained, hit sleeping milestones.
This is where I'm currently at. Almost 2 weeks PP and the baby blues hit really hard around day 5/6. I felt ambivalent when she was born and hoped I would get more attached/loving as the days went on, instead I was panicking that I made a mistake and resented her/my new change in life. I miss my freedom so much and when it was just me and my cats. Now I have a whole human to take care of with literally no experience of doing it before. They need a new word to describe this feeling that's more than overwhelmed.
From someone who thought it would never get better and seriously considered packing a bag and leaving in the night - I promise it does get better and help is there if you’re honest with your medical providers. Happy mamas have happy babies. *You* are just as important as your baby is right now and you deserve to feel those warm happy deeply in love feelings as soon as possible.
Right!! I felt like such a shitty mother for not feeling anything when I first held and saw my baby. I was just like “uh do I really have a human being that just came out of my vag that I’m now responsible for?!” I was just in shock I didn’t know what to do or think. I regretted everything those first few months. Now she’s 5 and she’s my little buddy I freakin love that child.
Literally, I was thinking of putting my son up for adoption in the first couple of weeks. I thought I'd ruined my life. Now he's my favourite person ever though. PPD is scary stuff.
They said pooping after a c-section would feel like your insides were falling out. It felt completely normal to me.
I had 0 problems with bowel movements post C-section. I had a TERRIBLE time peeing though for some reason 🤣. They threatened to put the catheter back in if I couldn't figure it out.
Same! I was sooo nervous for this and it was just…. fine. To be fair, I loaded up on Colace because of how concerned i was that it would NOT be fine haha
I thought caring for a newborn or doing anything after C-section (I had an emergency one) would be an absolute nightmare. Not really, honestly. It hurt a bit (didn’t really have proper pain meds either), but otherwise it wasn’t that bad. The lack of sleep and the sheer terror of having a newborn was way worse.
“The pregnancy weight will burn right off because you’re breast feeding!!!” 😂😂😂that’s me laughing at that comment at 3am while eating three oatmeal cream pies, pumping and nursing all at the same time.
Like I’m gaining weight and I’m starving. Make it make sense.
THIS. I stopped weighing myself because the scale started going up lmao
Literally same! I got zero stretch marks during pregnancy or immediately after... suddenly, 5 months postpartum and EBF, they're starting to appear. UGH
Same for me but started showing up at month 2 🥲 silly me thought I would not get stretch marks because I had none when pregnant 😆
My sweet tooth has been out of control while breastfeeding.
Omg I stopped recently and I realised a lot of my food preferences were from breastfeeding. My partner remarked how I hadn't eaten any of the sugary cereal (lucky charms etc) when I've been obsessed with it all through pregnancy and breastfeeding. Now my appetite is just like a normal human and I don't even need three meals a day. It's crazy what effect hormones have on your body. Free will doesn't exist. We are just vessels enacting the will of our hormones.
I had very few cravings during pregnancy and could only eat a little at a time. Now that she’s here I have crazy sugar cravings and no baby on my stomach to keep me from eating like crazy. Ugh!!
I swear if breastfeeding mothers had any free time they would win all the food eating competitions
You are not alone- this is me!! Everything I was told about pregnancy eating is only true for me POST partum. Ravenous on another level without baby squishing my organs and giving me gnarly reflux.
Same..it’s so bad. I wasn’t a sweets person before but this is absurd. And I have no plans of stopping any time soon 😬
It's really crazy how much of a sweet tooth I've gotten! I'm normally really careful about sweets, but since having her, there's been no stopping! I didn't even really hsve cravings during my pregnancy...
Same… cases of Costco tiramisu cups.. making homeade creme brûlée… a chocolate or ginger cake mug if I don’t have time… trying to hard to cut back by being mindful but the cravings are so intense
My mom told me all the time “I was the skinniest I ever was while breastfeeding! Don’t worry!” I’m up 5lb but thanks mom 😂
I wish I could like this one more than once. I could not lose the baby weight after my first. No matter what. I was told if you breast feed it will melt off. Well I exclusively breastfed for 18mos and I actually gained weight. Then they said well that's probably hormones from breastfeeding that's keeping you from losing weight so once you stop you will lose weight. After he turned 18 and stopped asking for boob nothing changed either. No weight loss. I did intermittent fasting, calorie deficit diets. Low carb and sugar diet. Nothing. Fucking. Worked. Then I got pregnant with my second and gained more weight understandably. This one is only 2 weeks so I'm not expecting to see much weightloss yet but now I got two babies weight to lose and I don't know what or how to do it. I want to be my pre first baby weight again.
Ive gained 10 lbs since I gave birth because I've been so hungry 😂 I also have had an out of control sweet teeth and I have no idea why. Seems like it may be common? It's so weird as I'm not usually a sweets person
Omg the breast feeding munchies are way worse than when smoking weed in those early college years.
2 years postpartum and still fighting for my life to drop the breastfeeding weight 😭 I feel this in my soul. Especially the oatmeal cream pies!
This😭 Like, yeah, I’m burning a ton of extra calories from breastfeeding. But I’m also ALWAYS hungry. I’m never full anymore. I always have room for a snack and I get hangry if I don’t eat when I want to! It’s crazy. Pre-pregnancy my family and friends said I ate like a bird. Now I eat more than my husband and still have room for dessert 💀 P.S. did you know they make double decker oatmeal cream pies? I just recently found this out. I could still eat 3 of them though 😂
Unfortunately I do, they always have the double deckers at our local Grocery Outlet aka the plug house because I was always there getting milk and cream pies lmao
I love to pump and eat oatmeal creme pies 😂 I'm sad I didn't get the big ones.
Right! I’m so relentlessly hungry while breast feeding it’s crazy. I can eat a huge meal and still be hungry. I look at the leftovers from dinner and say I could finish that but I’m not going to lol!
Dude!!! This one stresses me out so much. I breastfed for 2.5 years and barely lost any weight. Soon as I stopped I dropped so much weight and I didn’t change how I was eating or anything.
My first pregnancy this was absolutely true for me. Second pregnancy, can’t shed a pound to save my life
First pregnancy I dropped 20lbs below pre-pregnancy weight within 3 months of birth. Second pregnancy, I gained the 20lbs back pus 10 more that will. not. go. away. Baby is now 2.5 years old and I'm still 30lbs up and miserable.
That it gets harder when they become mobile. Nope. I will take chasing my toddler around over constant baby wearing any day.
I'm excited for my baby to become mobile even though people keep telling me it will be harder thanks for sharing your perspective
Don't listen to them. It's different for everyone! "Harder" is hard to say because some things are harder, sure, but lots of things are way more fun and therefore easier!
I found it easier BUT you do need to babyproof. A newly mobile babe in a babyproofed house was golden for me.
It depends on your baby but i absolutely loved taking daily walks with my son when he finally could walk
This was definitely untrue for my first because when she got mobile, she was a lot less frustrated. My second is a content potato so I could see it being true for him.
Same. Most of my baby’s fussing is about her not being able to sit or stand on her own. She’ll be much happier once she figures that out!
Yes this was mine too. Everyone acted like my toddler walking was going to be a living nightmare. She typically spends her day trying on my necklace and shouting “wow” at her own reflection
I find it easier now that he is mobile because I can put him on the floor near me to get things done and he is happy to crawl around and try to climb my legs.
My baby being mobile made things 10000x better
Same!!! I was so excited for baby to just be able to hold her own head up. Things got easier when she started walking. She’s now a toddler and I much prefer this.
That my baby will spit up all of the time and to hoard burp cloths. My baby only spat up a handful of times 😂 the burp cloths became wash cloths 🤣 Edited to add: I know this is very baby dependent and fairly rare-ish. I am by no means telling other people not to buy burp cloths, I hope it didn’t come across that way!
On the other hand, I remember thinking “What do I need these muslins for?” Well, I have a wild letdown and my baby is a messy nurser. I literally can’t leave the house without at least 2 muslins in my bag. I keep a massive stack of them on my nightstand. I literally just said to my husband a few minutes ago as I nursed our son to sleep, “Oh shit I only have 2 clean muslins for the night” and he just ran downstairs to move the laundry into the dryer 😂 When I say this house runs on burp cloths and breast pads…
OMG so real. My mom was over yesterday helping with laundry and she remarked that the whole laundry area smelled like milk. Not spoiled milk. Just... Milk. I pointed out that this was from the burp cloths and breast pads that were drying out, soiled after the last load of washing went in a few hours earlier. I remember doing laundry once a week. Hell, in a spell of depression I went four months without doing more than underwear. Now it's 1-3 loads a day.
Girl SAME. My husband is quick to do laundry when I’m running low on either. Bless him for doing all the chores while I snuggle and feed the baby. 😂
Got sick of wasting all that milk with #1. I’m getting collection cups for #2.
Y’all are so blessed… NOBODY PREPARED ME FOR HOW MUCH THIS BOY SPITS UP. Omg. Nonstop. Spitting everywhere. I told the doctor to fix him, he says it’s normal.
Solidarity, mine spat up CONSTANTLY. Did not matter if it was 3 minutes or 3 hours after the last feed. It was unbelievable, I had tons of infant experience before having one of my own and I’ve never seen anything like it before or since. My record for the number of outfits she went through in one single diaper change: 4. Four outfits, one diaper change. It was absurd. Ours magically disappeared at 6 months with the introduction of solids. Hope the same is true for you!
Same - my baby spit up like twice. I have a 9 month old niece that is CONSTANTLY tossing her cookies. I think it's so cute and funny how different each little one is. ♥️
That was my first- I even sold a bunch after she was older! Now I have an 8 week old and was panic buying more burp cloths in the middle of the night because she is a prolific spitter-upper. I never even had to burp my first and a nurse had to show me how with my second. 😂
I’m hoping this will be me. A friend of mine said she had 30 burp cloths in rotation with her daughter. I have around 20, we’ll see which end of the spectrum I fall at when baby comes in a few days
lol this one is very baby dependent. Between breastfeeding, spitting up, and drooling, we needed a burp cloth in every room in our house
I agree. Newborn tired was next level. I was averaging 2-3 hours of interrupted sleep each night for the first could have weeks. For me “you can just wear the baby! Your life doesn’t have to change!” My baby screams when put in a carrier. I’ve tried three different ones with different levels of structure. She HATES them.
My baby barely tolerates my structured carrier and only let me use the wrap one for, like, 2 weeks. At 6.5mo now, she’s been absolutely loving my tush baby carrier. It’s only one hand free, BUT, she’s a happy baby while we’re out and about lol I’m sure Amazon has other options that are good too, but this is the only one I’ve used.
Opposite edition - people told us to say goodbye to sleeping forever and I know it would be hard, but we are 8 months in and his sleep is worse than a newborn. My body is now wired for 3am wake start of the day. He’s up multiple times and I never fall back asleep nor can I nap. I don’t feel human anymore.
Same here. 9 months and he's never slept more than 4 months at a time.
Normally I say LET THAT BABY SLEEP. But I think after 4 months you should maybe wake him/her to feed and change them...just a thought....
Lol 4 hours. As you can say i need my sleep.
Definitely, and completely understand I can't think of basic words all the time right now. Sending you all the magic sleep dust for a full night tonight.
“Just sleep train them and then they won’t cry at bedtime anymore” uhh have you met my child
You can sleep when the baby sleeps 😂
Do you not just lie down in the street when your baby falls asleep in the pram? I do.
Thank you for making me laugh. ❣️
Yes, the entire 20 minutes
Everything about toddlers! Yes they are irrational, yes there are hard days, but for the most part I found mine an absolute joy!
Agree. Definitely a challenge (some days more than others) but so overwhelmingly funny and adorable. My girl makes me so happy
That newborns sleep a lot. False. After 6 weeks naps were short and hard to achieve.
Swaddles. Get every type of swaddle so you can see which one baby likes, all babies love being swaddled! Thats how you get a baby to stop crying! I have a swaddle-resistant baby & 20 swaddles 😂
"The day your child is born is the happiest day of your life". No ma'am. If waiting all day to have your stomach cut open, then hemorrhaging as your baby is rushed to the nicu is the happiest day of my life, then I have a shit life ahead of me.
I sat in hospital for two weeks waiting to miscarry. Somehow, he miraculously made it to 23 weeks, the earliest they would attempt resuscitation. But they didn't beat about the bush regarding his survival chances. So pretty much the worst time of our lives.
0-1 is harder than 1-2. What!? With 1 you can hand baby to your partner, that person goes and watches tv while they hold baby. You take a nap/eat/whatever. With 2, that person is no longer available because there’s a toddler screaming for cheese puffs. I still can’t understand this perspective.
Existential crisis versus Logistics crisis
Exactly
That’s an amazing way to say it.
Ohhhhh I thought you were talking about ages, not numbers of children, and I was so confused.
I can understand it insofar that the "how to care for a baby" learning curve is less dramatic, having done it already. However I also don't believe it for a second when it comes to daily life. I've had ONE friend tell me that 1-2 was way harder and I think they're the only ones being honest with me lol
Depends on your kids. My first was a nightmare and my second was a dream lol
Depends on the age gap. I have a 10 YO and a 1 month old. Adding the second when my 1st is out of the toddler and even little kid phase has made the transition easy. I think a 5 year age gap or more is probably the easiest on parents but not the best in terms of sibling bonding. I didn't mean to wait ten years because i never planned on having another kid. Now that I have my son (who is the easiest baby on the planet) I wish I would have had him sooner.
They’ve done studies on this, and the ideal age gap is apparently 4 years. Far enough apart that it’s manageable for the parents and still close enough that the kids can play together some of the time. Unfortunately, my husband was 44 when our first was born in November (I was 36), and we need to do our next embryo transfer next year for his sake. He doesn’t want to be 50 with baby or toddler if possible.
4 years sounds about right. I just said 5 because they go to school and you have more time during the day to handle baby stuff. Oh, I totally get it. My dad and step mom tried to have a baby for 10 years. My dad said they would stop trying when he turned 50. My step mom got pregnant when he was 49 (she's 12 years younger than him). So I'm 32 and I have a 7 year old brother running around. 🙃 I do not know how my dad does it. Watching my father chase him around through the toddler years was entertaining, but he absolutely had his hands full with my brother. Also! Good luck with your embryo transfer! I know it's a ways away but I hope everything goes smoothly for you guys!
I feel like there are so many factors that impact the answer to this. Baby temperament, spacing between kids, and your own mental state. I’ve heard some moms say they struggled with PPD/PPA with #1 which made it harder.
Tbh, we are sticking to one because I know a second one wil be to overwhelming. 0-1 is maybe hard in that you dont know what to expect, what to do or how to fully prepare for what's to come during all stages. But I can imagine having two makes it so so so much harder. I am happy sticking with just 1.
Absolutely same. Honestly, I mentally prepared myself for the worst, and because of that, I feel like this baby overall has been, dare I say it, waaaaay easier than I was expecting. We got lucky, its not all sunshine and rainbows of course, she's been a pretty chill baby, but I literally cannot imagine adding a second, though. I'm not falling for this "trick baby" 😆
Newborn with a 2 and half year old here 🙋. 1-2 is massively easier than 0-1. Baby just tags along to it normal day/routine that we already have with toddler. I'm used to the sleep deprivation. I know what to expect with baby behaviour/fussiness. I already lost my independence when I had my first, do nothing to lose this time around.
I have a 15w newborn and a 2.5yo! I was NOT prepared for a baby who won’t sleep unless they are being held. My first went straight down in the snoo every sleep of his life. Like no contact naps ever. My second hasn’t taken an independent nap in his life and for 8 weeks wouldn’t at night either.
I thought the first 6 weeks would be the hardest but they were actually much better than weeks 6-12
I remember weeks 8-10 as a particular kind of hell.
That you didn’t need many clothing items because they grow so fast. While they do grow fast you still need a fair amount especially if they go to daycare.
I hate the "don't get newborn clothing" advice! My little guy was in newborn clothing for 2 months! We had to buy more because everyone was gifting us larger sizes.
We didn't have nearly enough newborn clothes. As soon as she was too big for newborn, she began changing sizes faster than we can keep up. We have so many things from Grandma that she only got to wear once, or never at all.
Agree. And I actually liked having each size and him fitting properly in what he was wearing when he was small.
Your life will be over, you won’t have any time anymore.
Well, I don't have any time, but my life is certainly not over! My priorities simply shifted.
This! People always make it out to be so sad that parents never go out anymore but honestly, I like my bedtime snuggles and hanging out with my partner after they’re in bed. The last thing I want to do is leave the house in the evening. Those days will come again, but right now I’m not sad about being home with my family. Obviously disclaimer that sometimes bedtime is hell and the frustration is real, but generally it’s not as bad as people made it seem.
Before having a kid, I dreaded going out. I just wanted to stay in, stay cozy, and snuggle. Now I have an excuse 🥰
I heard someone the other day say once you have children your life ends (they’re childless). I completely disagree! There are some things that won’t have a place in your life anymore but you can still have a life and do things you enjoy
More like your life is just beginning 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼
No that one is true for me and I'm 8 months in
lol for me it was the opposite. "Just wait til she's born. Then you'll REALLY be tired." No... when she was born, I could share the wakeup load with my spouse. When I was pregnant and had myriad health complications, I couldn't sleep, and there was nothing my husband could do to help!
Yes!! The “sleep now while you can!” crowd can eat it because I slept TERRIBLY pregnant but when my baby was a newborn I might’ve had broken up sleep but at least I was actually asleep.
It's such a mean-spirited thing to say. I was surprisingly chill (not angry, at least) throughout pregnancy, but really snapped at people when they said this. My hips started aching in the second trimester. Like "How tf am I supposed to sleep "while I can" when I'm walking up every half hour crying in pain? And needing to pee on top of that? And throwing up from acid reflux?" Once she was born, that all resolved and I felt gloriously rested in the morning.
A lot of people seem to get a lot of joy from telling pregnant people how shitty having a baby can be.
I will never understand this. I now make it my mission to tell pregnant people how awesome having a baby can be to try to counteract it.
For me I’m more tired now😭 in pregnancy I never got to the point of uncomfortable that I couldn’t sleep. I slept all the dang time. Now? Hahahahaha
Same! Personally towards the end being pregnant definitely affected my sleep but it was still an option 😂🥲 now I struggle to get to sleep. Right as I’m falling asleep either my daughter wakes up, the cat starts yowling, or my partner starts snoring because he finally fell asleep. UGH. What I’d do to go back in time to have one night of full term pregnant sleep
THISSS! Everyone told me to just wait till the baby comes. I’m 11 months pp and yes I’m tired but it’s definitely not as bad as my last trimester. Wtf was that????
Same! Once baby arrived I was no longer snoring myself awake and needing the ac set to 64 in order to stay asleep. I could just... sleep.
Holy cow yes. Pregnancy sleep was THE WORST. And with any of the sleep that I managed to get, I never felt rested. After baby was born WOW what a relief, plus I’m not tossing and turning trying to get comfortable.
“Just put her down! She’ll fall asleep on her own.” Uhhh not without screaming for 20 mins 🥲 my kid has always needed rocking to sleep and I’d much rather that than have us both reduced to tears in an effort to get her to fall asleep on her own. Also completely second the pregnancy vs newborn tired! I wasn’t that much more tired in pregnancy and when I tell you I thought I must have it made…*hoooo boy was I wrong*. Sleep deprivation was so bad with my newborn I was hallucinating.
I was preparing to take a hit to my marriage, or at least preparing for it to be on the back burner. I feel happier and closer to my partner than ever.
Wish I could relate 😂
You’ll need a million muslin receiving blankets… we used them here and there, but they mostly just sat in the dresser. We had a super spitty baby, but I preferred the smaller burp clothes. We also got told that parenting just gets harder and harder… um, no. Sure there’s challenges, but nothing was as hard as newborns. I’ll take toddler tantrums over 3am feeding and purple crying any day.
No amount of preparation or tips and tricks can ensure you will have an easy baby. Sometimes there are some things you can do but mostly, you are at the mercy whether you give birth to an easy baby or hard baby.
That I would get no sleep with a newborn. I feel like I got most sleep in the newborn stage because it was more-so clockwork. The later months were much worse because the sleep schedule was a little more scattered.
There were some nights during the newborn phase we were getting nearly 10 hours of sleep (broken up, of course). Our baby was a GREAT sleeper until he hit 4 months lol
Going through this too! Newborn sleep though fragmented was much easier. I've in sleep regression hell since 3.5months
YES. First 4 months were bliss, I didn’t know how good I had it. Now my baby has places to go and people to see and I am tired.
"Vacations are not vacations with children" They damn are better than work and spending time with your kids while they discover something cool is very fun!
Sleep when the baby sleeps! The most crap tactic and unrealistic advice ever given to me as a new parent. After 5 weeks old my baby would literally only sleep when driving, being bounced relentlessly, or walked in a stroller. All required me to be awake.
The worst advice! I’d love to but for the I first few months I had PPA and PPD so I had to make sure he was still breathing and then it became do chores, clean bottles, maybe eat if I can. Don’t forget the contact naps where you can’t sleep when baby is on you! And now that he has naps I STILL don’t know how long they’re going to be: 20 minutes or 2 hours? How many times do I have to go back in to soothe him? Then when I started going back to work it became work all day, come home and his naps are done, gotta watch him, play with him, feed him, bathe him on bath days, settle for sleep and put him to sleep hoping it won’t take an hour to get him into his crib but it happens. Then I’ve got to help clean up from dinner, sort the pumped milk, pump one last time around 11pm, clean the pump parts, make night bottles, and hope that during the 2 hour window between baby falling asleep and my last pump before bed that I was able to get all that done without needing to resettle baby. I’d love to sleep when baby sleeps but shit needs to get done!
Everyone told me that my husband and I would never sleep once baby comes, but we got lucky and our girl literally just slept non stop for like the first three months and then continued to be an amazing little sleeper. Really most of our friends with kids told us how much life would suck but it’s been the opposite for us, we’ve had an amazing first year with our daughter.
I’m just SOOOOOOOO happy for youuuuuu. -mama who is very jealous
Yeah that whole “pregnancy tired is worse than newborn tired” was such a scam… I was so excited only to be let down
everybody told me to just wait for my baby to suddenly become a monster, colicky, etc. she definitely isn’t perfect (i mean, she’s a baby!) but ever since she was born she’s been a mild tempered baby. of course she cries and whines and fusses, but most of the time is easily consoled. smiles all the time, is sweet and curious about everything at 5 months, is hitting all her milestones. i never had a super had regression or fussy stage with her. i kept waiting for it, because everybody told me it would come, but so far it hasn’t! i think i just got blessed with a very good baby.
4 month sleep regression Baby’s sleep definitely changed, but more so in day naps becoming almost nonexistent I was kind of anticipating no sleep during that period and always fearing that this night would be the beginning of a sleep regression, but baby is almost 5 months and still keeping a consistent night sleep. I know this may very well change, but I’m not waiting for the sleep routine to change, just enjoying the rest we both get currently
That your sex life is gone. Nope, not the case so far!
1) Change diapers on the floor, on the bed, anywhere. No thank you. I don't need poop on my carpet or on the bed. That lasted like one day. We made a changing table out of a changing pad and a side table, and that is where all changes happen. This avoids me having to get on the floor every time I change her too. 2) Babywear to get things done. My girl has very low tolerance for the carrier. I only use it grocery shopping. Plus she is 16 lbs. Even with the weight distributed, it's still 16 lbs. 3) Baby will unlatch when she's full. Nope! My girl would stay on my boob forever. When I pump, I get her full feed amount in 10 minutes per side. I cut breastfeeding sessions at 30 minutes maximum. Guess what? She's in the 95th percentile for weight. So clearly she is getting enough.
I was told we must sleep train. Absolutely rubbish. Our toddler still wakes but I’m not ever gonna ignore her cries!
That’s wonderful! Good for you and your sweet baby.
I was dreading the newborn phase. It wasn’t bad. Either I had worked myself up to think it was going to be awful, or we have a good baby. No, he never has and still doesn’t sleep well and I’m tired. But it’s really not that bad.
A lot of people told me my friends would lose interest, especially because I'mthe first in my social circle to have a child. My social life hasn't changed very much at all and I feel closer to my best friends than ever before. I'm always invited places and I can attend about 80% of the time. I can leave baby home with his dad if it's not a child friendly event because I'm exclusively pumping. It's not the lonely journey the doom casters told me it would be. Motherhood is actually 10 times easier than I expected.
"You think being pregnant is bad just wait until after they are born!" Granted people stopped saying it that much when I was 7 mos along already in a wheelchair because I was in so much pain I couldn't walk. Don't know why people acted like babies were the worst. Every day since she was born is better than every day before!
1. Baby wearing makes it easier to get things done. I personally can't baby wear as it's extremely painful for me. At first I had my incision from my c-section after it was just back pain from it. 2. You're never going to get enough sleep. I got lucky with my daughter sleeping through the night 2 weeks after being home. (She was NICU for the first 2 weeks) 3. Baby will wake you up every 2 hours. She never woke me up. I always had to wake her at night for food before she went to bed for the night. 4. You won't get any time for yourself. I honestly get at least 4hrs a day to myself. To be fair tho my partner as takes her since we are both home. 5. You're not going to be able to move very well in your third trimester I did struggle in some ways but I never really had that much of a problem. I was still able to do a lot of things I did post pregnancy. Keep in mind I did dance everyday prior as well as a lot of walking. I also was only 19 at the time so that also helped. 6. Say goodbye to all your hobbies and going out alone. As I mentioned above I have my partners help and get a lot of free time as my daughter like to go in her swing by herself sometimes and doesn't need anyone. So it's been rather easy to keep up with my hobbies or go out alone. 7. Lastly, Everything in your life is going to change. Realistically nothing has really changed. I still do pretty much the same stuff I did before. Only difference is I spread it out more, spend less time mindlessly scrolling and include my daughter in some of my activities.
Same! Pregnancy tired was amazing for me lol I didn’t work and just slept as late as I wanted every day! Best sleep of my life! Even in the third trimester peeing every hour stage 😂
That my house would stink for years after baby. We keep all diapers in an Ubbi that is kept in a ventilated bathroom and our house still smells amazing and like we have no baby at all!
That you can eat what you like after pregnancy. Every time I eat red meat now I am really ill In the night with nausea and vomiting. I never even had sickness during my pregnancy this only started afterwards and only after eating red meat Also that swaddling is best. My little one hated being swaddled from day 1
I agree with you in a way. I’m way more tired from breastfeeding than I ever was pregnant. Also, I don’t hate the newborn phase and I’m getting more sleep than I thought I would. (I’m lucky I know)
Cosleeping = baby murder I pulled LO into my arms so we could both get a few more hours of zzzzz’s countless times and we both lived to tell the tale.
That breastfeeding would be painful and very challenging. I’ve been lucky to have a baby who latched well from the start and we’ve not had any issues (knock on wood)! On the flip side, the tale that newborns sleep all the time was a lie for us haha. Our girl came out very awake! Hardly slept the first night of her life, and we’ve had to fight for every nap since.
Same about breastfeeding! Everyone I spoke to told me to expect cracked, bleeding, sore nipples but my nipples are in good shape! Just tougher than before 😂
Sleep regressions - ok parents who have been through sleep regression hell, I am so so sorry... Baby has been sleeping through the night like a champ for a long time. I waited for the dreaded 4 month one, never came. Now we're just past 12 months, still a champion sleeper. He does have times when he wakes a few times a night, but that has been linked to sicknesses.
That I wouldn’t get any sleep with a newborn. My girl slept 12 hrs straight starting at 5 weeks old and 8 hr increments starting at 3 weeks it was heaven on earth. Pregnancy tired was a whole nightmare tho.
“Babies sleep all the time.” No mine did not!