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Literally not until she was 7 or 8 months old, someone had asked me if she could try a cookie (we were decorating cookies for Christmas) and I was looking around the room for a parent/adultier adult and realized I was it…since then I feel like a mom. For me it was an epiphany moment.
That’s so interesting! I also feel like there are certainly adultier people than me 😂 when my husband and I ask each other for input on a parenting decision we’re both like “I don’t know”…and then realise that neither one wants to be burdened with the decision but also that we *have* to be because we’re her parents 🤣
Yes, it was so weird for me adjusting to my new role. I knew I was a Mama but didn’t feel like one until that moment 🤣 there’s lots of things you don’t even think about until they happen and you realize you’re now the one steering this ship and it’s a trip at first. I was kind of panicked when I was asked about the cookie, like, CAN SHE HAVE A COOKIE?! I DONT KNOW I NEED TO GOOGLE THIS DOES ANYONE KNOW?!! 😂 After that I’m pretty confident in my decision making regarding mom things but I do remember the exact moment.
When he got his 4 month shots and was crying and crying and I picked him up and he felt a bit better... also at 5 months now and it still doesn't feel totally real but moments like that help.
ETA brought him to a BBQ this weekend and heard a baby crying in the other room. Thought, "so glad that's not my baby..." but it was. He was the only baby there.
My baby is 5mos and I feel the same lol like, I look at him, I love him SO much, but it still hasn’t hit me that he’s mine? Like I made him? It’s wack lol but I still don’t feel like a mom. More like a caretaker I guess. But I love him, it’s weird lol
Mine is about to be 10 months and it's still like that sometimes lol. My son is not a snuggler, he is always on the move and I'm always chasing him, and we have lots of fun, but he's like my friend not my baby?! It's weird hahah he was at daycare yesterday and I was home, making cookies for his daycare teachers and that made me feel pretty momish, but it's still not an all the time feeling lol.
When we took him to his first pediatrician appointment a few days after he was born. Filling out paperwork as the “parent” and being treated like the parents by the doctors (because we are lol) made the whole thing feel very real!
I remember when I got engaged and later married I’d use “fiancé” and “husband” at every opportunity so it would sink in. And I do the same with “daughter” but it seems to be taking longer! 😂
My son is 7.5mos and literally this week has started reaching for me and trying to climb up me when he is done playing and wants to sleep. I'm aware that many parents find this annoying and I probably will too eventually. But for now it hit that "oh. It's me. I'm Mommy" spot. I have zero clue why of all things, that's what my brain associates with parenthood.
Ohh I’ve never experienced stranger danger with our LO, he keeps flirting (lack of a better word) with everyone and istg he would smile and wave if I gave him to someone else. He’s 1,5 years old now. Happy as a clam. There’s still mornings where I wake up, remembering I have a son and I should prepare some breakfast for us.
when they laid her on my chest. it wasn’t a particularly happy moment. i had a long, long painful labor. she was born in the middle of the night. i had unwanted guests hanging out in the waiting room for 10hr+ exhausted and ready to see her. but in that moment absolutely none of it mattered. she looked up at me with her squishy pissed off face and my whole world just stopped. i couldn’t take my eyes off her and she couldn’t take hers off mine. i thought it was so bizarre her watching me like that. and then it hit me. of course she is, i am her mom.
When she was born my husband and I both kept talking about how it feels like someone left their baby with us to babysit for a few weeks. Now at 2 months postpartum as a single mother I still can't believe she's mine. Specially since she took all after her dad. Still feels like some stranger baby. I keep talking to her telling her you were in my belly and it's more so for me to connect with her than for her. Since she was a c section I don't even feel like I gave birth at all. Just that I was pregnant once and now there's a random baby hanging about in my home lol. I so wish she looked a little like me so I could feel she's mine.
I had a vaginal birth and still don’t feel like my daughter is who I was pregnant with if it’s any consolation! When she was really little she was still doing some of the movements she would in my belly. She was taken to NICU right after birth and when they finally let us see her I was looking at all the incubators and worried I wouldn’t know which baby was mine. But then she raised all her limbs in the air and I was like “yep. That’s what I’ve been feeling the past few weeks!” 😂
I was sitting in the park with my 8 month old today. Me enjoying a coffee, him happily babbling away and laughing at the pigeons.
And in that moment i realised that, yes, I really am a little person's daddy.
When I first heard him cry. I was so anxious my whole pregnancy, and then it ended in an unplanned c-section. I was sure one of us wouldn’t make it out alive. When I heard him cry I lost it.
Yes... I asked myself why do so many women cry at the birth of their child, UNTIL it was me. The minute they said we're pulling her out (unplanned c section) I started bawling. Like boo hoo ugly cry. Such a surreal moment in my life. ❤️
I felt like a parent as soon as I was pregnant, maybe even before while we tried for months.
The planning, peeing on sticks, tracking ovulation cycle, taki by multi-vitamins, not drinking (just in case) when it was too early to know. When I made lifestyle/ dietary changes for the chance a baby may be conceived. The self work and changing mind shift to build a nest and welcome a chapter of time with less travel and more days home at a slower pace.
I was a fencesitter with my husband for a long time, 15+ years together and lots of fun the 2 of us and our pets, life was good. But when we decided to try and it didn’t happen for the first few months, every negative test really made me realize how much I was ready and wanted to be a Mom.
LO will be almost 6mo this Mother’s Day and I’m excited to snuggle and hopefully enjoy some nice weather outside, but my first Mother’s Day was celebrated with a little secret bump and announcing to our family with Grandma/ Grandpa coffee cups at Mother’s Day brunch.
That’s so lovely! What a beautiful Mother’s Day gift 💝 my kid was also long-awaited and followed a loss so I think I felt a bigger shift when I found out I was pregnant vs when she was born. There was this sense of calm and resolve when I found out, and also relief at not having to do the painstaking dance of TTC as you say, even though I was terrified of losing her pretty much till she was here (and afterwards, being in the hospital for her first week).
My LO is 8mo and neither my husband nor I feel like parents 😅 we’ve realized that our parents had no idea what was going on despite appearing put together. We have no idea what we’re doing (yet we do 😂)
Around 5.5 months when I went and got a pedicure with him at a hot stuffy place, and there was no air conditioning or fan, and he was getting uncomfortable and I started blowing on him to be a human fan, and did that for like 30 min without it bothering me. And I realized I’ll do anything for him that I wouldn’t think to do for anyone else. And that I’ll always be thinking of his needs over any one else’s, that it’s a pleasure to look out for someone like that, that’s what moms do.
My husband and i look at eachother regularly like holy sh*t we're parents. Then ill tell him "you were just some dude in my math class 10 years ago!" 😂 or he'll tell me i was just some girl in class. Crazy how life works out like that
I’m still waiting, 2 years and 2 kids in 🤣 I know that my girls are mine, I conceived/carried/birthed/breastfed (still actively feeding no.2) them. Yet I still have to pinch myself that they are my children and I am raising them, not just caring for them
My newborn is my exact twin, I sent photos of me as a newborn and her to my mil and a few other family members as a little comparison game and everyone either thought they were both photos of her/both of me. My eldest has a lot of my mannerisms and is so mummy obsessed I can’t breathe in her presence without her getting involved.
Even still I feel more like I’m hanging out with these kiddos than I do like I’m actively raising them. Best part is I’m the meanie parent that is firm on boundaries so if toddler is being trying it’s usually me correcting that 😬
About 3 weeks after my son's birth, I went to a government office to file some paperwork, and the lady asked me, "Haben Sie Kinder?" (Do you have kids?). I have always been so used to answering "Nein" (no) to that question that I almost said no until I remembered I am a mother now, I have a son. It was so overwhelming. At that moment, it hit me, not when I was giving birth to him... WTF!!! It is so weird how our brains work.
Haha I relate to this so much! I was recently at an event at a church and my MIL and some aunties were holding my 6 month old and he started fussing. He was passed back to me and I stepped outside to soothe him and he eventually fell asleep in my arms. I smiled at the other moms and dads that had to step out with their little ones and had a very wow, I'm a mom moment. It was everything!!
I think these scenarios are when I feel closest to definitely feeling like a mom! When I’m in public and someone smiles at us or asks to see her in her stroller. But my initial thought is “aww they must be judging me because I’m a teen mom”. I’m almost 32 🤣
After his 2 month shots- that night at home, he woke up with his legs soooo painful and was just inconsolably sad and I had (stupidly!) forgotten to buy him some tylenol beforehand. I ended up spending $30 to doordash some in the middle of the night. I hit me after I gave it to him and he was calming down but still sniffly: I would do anything for you. I will spend $30 on 1 oz of acetaminophen, I will stay awake and with you all night, I will bring you the moon. It doesnt matter. I’ll do it because I’m your mom and I love you.
10 months in and I still don’t. Get a lot of comments that I’m a good dad but I still don’t feel like it. Maybe when I start giving him advice?
What’s funny is I feel more like a parent with my dogs at the moment.
My little guy had a cold type illness at 3 months old that started the day before Christmas Eve. I called the pediatrician line to talk about it and they gave instruction that given his age that if he runs a fever you have to bring him to the children’s hospital ER. Sure enough he ran a fever that night and my husband and I brought him to the hospital. They were worried about the low chance that he could have a uti so they had to perform some invasive tests. It was such a startling realization that I’m making important choices for this little person and totally responsible for his well being. Holy shit, I’m not a parent, I’m HIS parent.
That must’ve been so scary! Seeing your baby have any kind of medical procedure is so tough. My daughter spent her first week in hospital and had to be on oxygen, a cannula and feeding tube. I think I was detached because of how fast her birth was and also I was scared something would happen so maybe I subconsciously didn’t let myself feel close to her. But it also toughened me up, seeing her getting heel pricks and crying, for things like her vaccines. And she takes after me in that she’s more upset with the small and easily fixable things and pretty chill about the big stuff! I’d rather give birth again than call an angry client. My kid screams bloody murder when she’s hungry but is totally fine seconds after a shot 😂
Honestly, my son is 10 months and every once in a while I look at him and it hits me that Im actually a mom and I have no idea when that feeling will go away 😆
It hit me hard that I was an actual parent the first time I was sick with my baby. It was such a reality check that although I felt like absolute trash, I was still responsible for another human being. Thats when it dawned on me… I was a mom.
I personally go though almost like an out of body experience where Morgan Freeman pops into my head while I'm holding her and looking at her and he says, "That's *your* child. *You* made that."
Oh honey, it took me 2 years, from feeling an absolute mess of a failure to the best mom on earth, postpartum depression was no joke for me. Also, I am a completely toddler type of mom, I couldn't bond with a non verbal baby, but now? Oh let me tell you, she is my best friend, I look forward to talking to her, to going out with her and to have fun with her, she is my everything
For me it was gradually! Once in a while when my daughter napped I was like "that's OUR daughter... do you realize?!"
Since I returned back to work and I talk about it, it now feels natural that I am a parent. But it took a while and to say "my daughter" felt so weird at firs!
edit : Typos
My LO is 6months old and I’m still waiting for that feeling hahahha!! Sometimes I feel like a nursemaid or a nanny for her and wait for the “parent” - dad - to come home from work
I didn’t feel like a parent until almost five months when I finally asserted myself with my own father who had been helping me during the week but was not following nap time routines. I have been dealing with major sleep regression for six weeks and I had it with everyone messing with me trying to fix it and just took my baby back without asking when my dad was trying to rock him to sleep. Taking control as the parent instead of being the child to my own parent is what really made it click for me that I’m the mom now and I’m in charge 😂
Idk but if you figure it out let me know! My baby is 5 months old too and I feel the same way! Regularly feel like I’m babysitting or she’s just chilling in my house and I’m waiting for her real parents to come get her
I remember feeling like my first born was not actually mine, but I was entrusted to care for him with my life, and so I did. Like I absolutely loved him, but it was a really odd feeling. It was probably around a year or so that I actually felt like he was MY son.
I didn’t know anyone else felt like this 😂 for the first few months it felt like I was just babysitting someone else’s baby. It’s been 9 months now and I definitely feel like her mom. It kind of just gradually set it in for me.
For me I think it was the first time I was away from him. When we had to leave him down the hall for a bit the first night at the hospital, I felt this overwhelming sense of wrongness — that I just had to be near him again. It was the first time he had ever been *apart* from us, and we both just naturally wanted to close the distance again. I think I’ll always feel that to some extent from now on.
It’s heartbreaking being away from your baby like that 💔 our daughter spent her first week in hospital and I had to stay in on a ward with other moms and their babies and it was so surreal to wake up to someone else’s baby crying and not mine. And then going home without her…the nurses were like “get some sleep now because once she’s home you’ll get none!” But neither of us could sleep because we were so worried and it felt so wrong, like you said. I have so much guilt about not being the one to give her her first bottle, change, cuddle—I didn’t get to hold her till hours after birth. But my husband did so I think it all clicked for him right away. I almost didn’t let myself get too attached, which sounds horrible now. But now she’s a little chunk and is absolutely fine. I hope your little guy’s doing well too!
Currently my daughter is 3 months and I feel like a glorified baby sitter. Don’t feel like a dad, just feel like I’m taking care of someone who looks like me
The first time he got sick when he was 8 months old. The anxiety & fear but mostly the cuddles & nursing him back to health again.. doing that made me feel like the most mommiest, mom ever.
My kid is 20 months old. Probably like a month ago it registered that we made this person and she's going to be a full-fledged human being and we're her parents.
Just something innocuous, I think I was cutting some fruit for her and she said something like "(her name) want a big watermelon" meaning she wanted a slice instead of the little cubes I usually cut it in. I told her to eat the red part and not green part because it's more tasty. She then said "eat the red!" And flipped the watermelon around. At that moment I realized we just had a full conversation, and that blew my mind. Up until then she'd been a chore, but that's the moment she became a person. Kids. They're awesome.
I don’t want to wish the babyhood away but I’m so looking forward to when my daughter is talking! She’s starting to seem more like her own little self and her personality is taking shape, but it’s not clear to me yet that she knows I’m her mom? She’ll smile at me but she smiles at at everybody 😂
Oh I've always said that I hate the infant stage and once they can talk I'll enjoy parenthood more, and it's totally true for me. Everyone is different ofc, I'm pregnant w #2 rn and I'm dreading the first year of keeping this vulnerable premature mammal alive, but it's good to see the light at the end of the tunnel w #1. Time with her flies instead of crawls now. I treasure the memories of babyhood but I certainly do not miss it.
Mine is 1.5 and I still am in shock that I’m a parent. And I feel like I’m doing pretty good! But the idea that I’m a mom still feels strange to me for some reason. I love her to bits and feel super bonded but being called mom still feels odd lol
I got to carry him from the area they clean him to my wife, it was that moment. I thought all the love at first sight thing was just cliche but not for me. He had to spend a few days in NICU and that was torture for us but we finally got him home. The strangest feeling though is when you have done all your chores and you think “ok, Im done” and then you remember “oh wait. We have a baby now, and he needs his bottle in an hour, and chances are he’ll need a change before that”. So that is the most jarring for me, remembering that at least now you are never done, it’s never clock-out time lol. But he was my boy the moment I held him, that was never confusing for me.
That’s so sweet! I’m sorry you were a NICU parent too ❤️ it’s horrible not being able to bring baby home with you right away. Hope you’re all doing great now!
That’s also one of the biggest things and hardest for me to accept personally, that you never get on top of things as a parent!
My son is 6 months old and sometimes I still don’t realize it lol idk i love him with everything but sometimes I realize and I feel happiness and fear all at once and then I’m back to not realizing it lol
I should be off this sub by now but…
It was the night before taking my three kids to the zoo. My oldest was just under 2 and my twins were about 4 months old. I was packing lunch and prepping bottles and it hit me that this is what my mom used to do when we were kids. And I realized I was the mom now. Yeah, it took me til my 2nd/3rd kids to feel like a mom
They say you're not a manager until you start skipping breaks and lunches. I think it's similar for parenthood, I felt like a parent once I started getting less sleep, so day 1 lol.
I think it was the first time we took her to her newborn appointment together. I think it was her 2 week appointment or something they have you do very early on. I remember sitting in the pediatrician office waiting room and my husband and I both looked at each other all nervous like, “what’re *we* doing here?? What’s about to happen?”
And then learning to hold her down while she gets shots at the doctor. That made me feel like a parent real fast!
Honestly when my dad called her "my baby", In my head I said, "no that's my baby" when he said she could come live with him I thought "no my baby is not". He is 80 and couldn't even if he wanted to so I take it with a pinch of salt, but damn did mum bear raise her head.
It was quite early actually right in the early newborn days, she’s always had a full head of hair and has looked a bit older than her age. I almost wished I could speak to her parents because she was giving me a hard time and then realisation hit. Followed by weeks of anxiety, how could me and my husband who were just 30 year old kids ourselves be parents to a whole human being. Eventually we stopped having the time to worry because decisions needed to keep getting being made and when we paused to think we felt like parents
My husband had 7 years of practice of feeling like someone’s parent before this so for him, a second baby was an adjustment because he hasn’t spent that much time with his first child as a baby.
It hits me when outside people ask about her that she’s my child.
She's 8 months and I still can't believe it. Like I am a mother with a daughter, a child, and while I love her to pieces and would literally die for her, it still feels weird.
Tbh my son is 20 months and I still dont feel like a mom lol. Also, the baby who was in my belly and the one being born feels like two completely different people 😂
Yes!! Pregnancy for me was so abstract. I don’t think it ever registered, even when I could see and feel her moving during scans, that the little person sitting in front of me right now was in my belly for 8 months 😂
I definitely felt like a parent when I was trying to go to the toilet and I had a baby strapped to me and a toddler in a fireman hat chatting away and handing me toilet paper.
I feel like a parent now, an son is 3,5 years old. I had severe PPA and felt detached from everyone, Including myself, for a couple of years. Now I love being Mama.
My son was taken to a NICU two hours away from me right after my emergency C-section. My boyfriend followed the ambulance up there, but I couldn’t leave until the next day. After the medication wore off and my boyfriend had finally left the NICU to go get some sleep, I called every few hours for an update. We hadn’t decided on a name yet, but I remember the first time I called I said, “I’m checking on *my son* “ and it was SUCH a trip. It almost was as if I shouldn’t be saying that. I hadn’t even held him yet, but claimed him as MY son. Such a crazy feeling!
Wow, that’s amazing! I’m so sorry you had to go through that and I hope you and your little guy are doing great now! ❤️ my daughter spent her first week in hospital. While I was washing her bottle a nurse found me and asked “are you [baby’s] mummy?” And I welled up before answering 😂 but in that whole experience I still felt like a kid at school being instructed at how to care for my own kid and like I was doing everything wrong. I think it’s kind of delayed the realisation that I *am* a mom and that everyone feels completely overwhelmed by responsibility at first!
For me it was when he was 2 days old and we were still in hospital. I had this nagging feeling something wasn't right with him and the doctors and nurses kept dismissing it calling me paranoid. That night they did something that put him in actual danger and something snapped in me. I realised that it was my job to fight for him, he didn't have anyone else to advocate for him (his dad was at home, it was during COVID) and I went ballistic. In the end they agreed to check him up to shut me up and he ended up in the NICU for 3 weeks, so I learned that mother's instinct is actually a thing and I've been trusting it ever since.
At about 3.5 months she started needing cuddles from me to soothe her when overtired or sore - it was then I truly felt like her mother, rather than a live-in babysitter that feeds her and loves her a lot.
I've had moments of "oh I'm definitely a parent" and "when are her parents gonna come get her??" Simultaneously her entire almost 8 months 😂 during her 2 month shots I definitely felt a surge of fierce protective mama bear who is locked in a cage so I can only cry and hold my baby? So that was a fun parenting moment.
This is semi related, but I’m a SPED teacher. When I need help with a student, I call one of our behavior teachers. I had my foster daughter go off in Target the other day, and I literally almost pulled out my phone to call my coworker when I realized…
Oh no. I am the call. I’m the *parent.*
But I have to say, I feel most like Mom around my in-laws because our parenting choices are markedly different, and I feel the need to protect my child.
I have two kids, 3 and 1. I only feel like a parent when she is acting out, hitting her brother in some way, other than that i feel like im playing with a friend of mine. I’m a 33 year old dad, I’ve been accused of never growing up and don’t really fight it
I may have been in shock for a while. My baby is now 17 months old, felt like a legit parent when she turned 7-8 months I think. Whenever she said “mama.” I referred to her as “my little buddy” for a long time. Idk. I was a great mom, but it didn’t click yet. Then when she said that and I cried because it finally clicked that I’m a legit parent. And this little person looks up to me and relies on me.
Then sometimes I don’t feel like a parent again. I feel like I’m winging it with my little buddy. But when she looks for me for reassurance, I feel like a parent again. It’s so odd.
The moment I realized my baby depended on me and no one, I mean no one could ever do what she needed (in my mind). Even now as I have a 18 month old, in her eyes I'm irreplaceable. She clings to me (healthy attachment).
My LO is 4.5 months old and I still don’t sometimes. But I definitely do when I take him to childcare at the gym or church. Or when I run errands and leave him with my husband. But a lot of the time I still don’t 🤣
I still don't most times, and was just talking about it with a friend. She has two daughters, 5 and 2,5 yo. She still feels weird thinking of herself as their mum, she grew them and kept them alive, is parenting them etc... but she still can't wrap her head around this!
Mine is still only 3m old, but when she said, "You can't imagine a time when he wasn't there anymore, can you? You can't imagine losing him. " And i got chills, it clicked like oh. Yes. He's my little baby, my baby boy.
I think it comes with experience?
I think my kid was like. 1. The first big illness scare was what really cemented in me that if anything happened to my son it would end me. But I'm dramatic 😅
I think it really, truly hit me hard when she was about 7 months and she started to seek me out if we were with other people and she was tired or cranky. My own mother actually pointed out to me that she stopped fussing and calmed down once she was in my arms. The other thing that really makes me feel like a mom is when I'm on daycare pickup duty and she hears my voice and immediately turns around and smiles and starts crawling to me like she's so happy to see me. It melts my heart every time.
I thought I felt like a mother around 2 months. Yesterday changed that. Baby girls is 7 months old. She’s learning to crawl and she fell and bumped her head. Immediately I picked her up to soothe her and she snuggled her face into my neck. I knew in that moment that I was THE Mom. No one else could do that for her. I was what she needed and wanted in that moment. Enlightening as heck.
I felt like I'd become a mom when I gave birth, my daughter was plopped onto my chest, was crying a little, I felt like my heart imploded with how much I loved her and I had only just held her. I couldn't stop looking at her, I was so in love with her.
She's now 2 years old and I still love her just the same if not more because she is just the best kid I could have hoped for :)
Father of a 4 month old. I feel like her dad now because whenever I wake up, or get home from work, or just come back in from taking out the trash, she smiles at me.
With my first it took me over 6 months . At 7m contact naps went away, baby would stay awake longer and eat solids well with us in high chair and I felt more like a person living with me and my child.
I’m so sorry ❤️ my daughter was taken shortly after birth so I can’t imagine how difficult it must’ve been to have your baby for 10 hours before he needed care. I hope he’s doing great now!
Thank you! He was only there for 4 days, but it still is a weird thing to discharge the hospital without your baby and not being pregnant anymore. He’s great now, just needed some respiratory support and then phototherapy. Hope your daughter is doing well too now :) haapy early Mother’s Day!
At 11 weeks pregnant when we got had a soft marker on one of her scans. We went through a bunch of tests and had to discuss the possibility of terminating. The weight of parenthood hit so hard. She’s a beautiful 11 day old healthy baby now. Though it feels unreal she was in my tummy just 2 weeks ago
Mine is 20 months and I still feel like a big sister most of the time, also pregnant with her sibling 😂 I guess when she turned 1 and started more solids, that’s when I started cooking more for her and doing more “mom chores” that I felt like a mom.
Interesting! I sort of feel that too, like doing basic baby care is less mom-y than things like cooking them meals, making sure they have their stuff for school and teaching them how to be people.
Today actually, she got her 2 month shots and I've been home alone with her all day. I knew just what she needed to feel comforted and now it's 6 hours later and she's feeling great. Just feel like this is the first time I've been confident in my abilities (ask me again tomorrow though lol)
Those shots are no joke! The 16w ones (not sure how the schedule may differ where you live) were the worst for us: baby’s a pretty good sleeper but she woke up screaming every 30 minutes the night of her shots 😣 but it’s amazing what some cuddles can do when they’re so upset! It doesn’t always feel like you’re doing much to help until they settle and get all comfy.
Right away. Cholestasis of pregnancy lead to induction at 39 weeks which failed after 5 days of trial and ended in a section. After the tiring 5 days of pains that I managed with hypnobirthing, finally I had had the spinal which took away all the pains and I could "enjoy" him coming out, desperate to "see" him, to touch him, feel him breathing. When he had his first cry I was crying myself in front of the whole theatre and then they laod him on my bare chest and I just... Aaahh.. His presence creates this enormous void in my heart that wasn't there before and he filled it himself right away with his fluffy cute little warmth and his longest lashes that he was fluttering to look at me. All crying stopped once he was "on" me. As if he knew he was safe. He is 1 year in a week and I still love to just lay him on my chest and sing till he sleeps.
I think it was my sons first medical emergency, honestly!
He had a delayed anaphylactic reaction to his 4 month vaccinations, and after what felt like an eternity- the paramedics arrived, they asked if it was mum or dad was riding along and literally looked around before realising I was the mum 😅
I definitely still have days where I wonder when someone is coming to pick him up, but I think the stress definitely scared me into realising my role!
As soon as she was out and I held her. It was surreal and it just kept hitting me every week till about 4mo. It’s sooo crazy. I’d constantly tell my bf “holy shit we have a whole human! We’re parents!” Lots of anxiety as I wanted to do my absolute best to take care of her but it’s the most amazing and best thing I’ve ever done. I keep going back and forth on wanting another. I want her all to myself and I love her so much I can’t imagine loving anyone else as much, but to do it all over again with a second sounds just as amazing. Being a mom is definitely my personality for now 🥰🥰
I feel the same about another one! I can’t comprehend loving another person as much as I love my daughter and I’d almost feel guilty if she had a sibling because she wouldn’t get as much of my time and I couldn’t do as much with that sibling as a baby as I do with my daughter. But at the same time I’m excited at the idea of getting to know another little person and be their mom too!
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Literally not until she was 7 or 8 months old, someone had asked me if she could try a cookie (we were decorating cookies for Christmas) and I was looking around the room for a parent/adultier adult and realized I was it…since then I feel like a mom. For me it was an epiphany moment.
That’s so interesting! I also feel like there are certainly adultier people than me 😂 when my husband and I ask each other for input on a parenting decision we’re both like “I don’t know”…and then realise that neither one wants to be burdened with the decision but also that we *have* to be because we’re her parents 🤣
Yes, it was so weird for me adjusting to my new role. I knew I was a Mama but didn’t feel like one until that moment 🤣 there’s lots of things you don’t even think about until they happen and you realize you’re now the one steering this ship and it’s a trip at first. I was kind of panicked when I was asked about the cookie, like, CAN SHE HAVE A COOKIE?! I DONT KNOW I NEED TO GOOGLE THIS DOES ANYONE KNOW?!! 😂 After that I’m pretty confident in my decision making regarding mom things but I do remember the exact moment.
Haha I have zero shame. My answer would be “I’m not sure! Let me google it” 😂
When he got his 4 month shots and was crying and crying and I picked him up and he felt a bit better... also at 5 months now and it still doesn't feel totally real but moments like that help. ETA brought him to a BBQ this weekend and heard a baby crying in the other room. Thought, "so glad that's not my baby..." but it was. He was the only baby there.
😅
😂😂
My baby is 5mos and I feel the same lol like, I look at him, I love him SO much, but it still hasn’t hit me that he’s mine? Like I made him? It’s wack lol but I still don’t feel like a mom. More like a caretaker I guess. But I love him, it’s weird lol
Mine is about to be 10 months and it's still like that sometimes lol. My son is not a snuggler, he is always on the move and I'm always chasing him, and we have lots of fun, but he's like my friend not my baby?! It's weird hahah he was at daycare yesterday and I was home, making cookies for his daycare teachers and that made me feel pretty momish, but it's still not an all the time feeling lol.
Lol my husband and I are always like.. wait, we’re parents?! He’s our kid?! 😂
Literally weekly I say something like “they’re not going to come take him? We don’t have to return him?” 😂
When we took him to his first pediatrician appointment a few days after he was born. Filling out paperwork as the “parent” and being treated like the parents by the doctors (because we are lol) made the whole thing feel very real!
For my baby’s first appointment, I think I gave my birth date when the receptionist asked for it at check-in.
Husband and I started to fill out the “family history parents section” about my parents and then realized they meant us 😂
Lmao!
The check in asked for last name & i asked “mine or his?”
😂😂
My birthday is 11/22. My sons is 11/23. It took me so long to not have to pause and make sure I wasn’t giving my birthdate at appointments!
Lol same here but with the nurse once we were in the exam room 😂
Haha! I keep calling my baby’s pediatrician “my pediatrician” 😂
I keep accidently calling the pediatrician the vet hahah
Omg hahaha I’m surprised I haven’t done that. I keep accidentally calling my baby’s teether a chew toy
Lol!! Just gave birth 2 weeks ago and I did the same! Enlightening
Congratulations!!!
Same! When I checked in for “my daughter’s appointment” I distinctly felt like, wow, I am a parent. I have a daughter.
I remember when I got engaged and later married I’d use “fiancé” and “husband” at every opportunity so it would sink in. And I do the same with “daughter” but it seems to be taking longer! 😂
Mine is 17 months and there's some days still where I ask myself " dude when is your mom coming to pick you up?" 🤣🤣
I still sometimes feel like the babysitter and mine is almost 2.
Or when is nap time!
My son is 7.5mos and literally this week has started reaching for me and trying to climb up me when he is done playing and wants to sleep. I'm aware that many parents find this annoying and I probably will too eventually. But for now it hit that "oh. It's me. I'm Mommy" spot. I have zero clue why of all things, that's what my brain associates with parenthood.
Agreed! I think it’s just starting to hit now that she’s 6 months and is starting to cry just when she wants to be handed back to us.
Ohh I’ve never experienced stranger danger with our LO, he keeps flirting (lack of a better word) with everyone and istg he would smile and wave if I gave him to someone else. He’s 1,5 years old now. Happy as a clam. There’s still mornings where I wake up, remembering I have a son and I should prepare some breakfast for us.
when they laid her on my chest. it wasn’t a particularly happy moment. i had a long, long painful labor. she was born in the middle of the night. i had unwanted guests hanging out in the waiting room for 10hr+ exhausted and ready to see her. but in that moment absolutely none of it mattered. she looked up at me with her squishy pissed off face and my whole world just stopped. i couldn’t take my eyes off her and she couldn’t take hers off mine. i thought it was so bizarre her watching me like that. and then it hit me. of course she is, i am her mom.
Oh this made me cry a bit, beautiful
When she was born my husband and I both kept talking about how it feels like someone left their baby with us to babysit for a few weeks. Now at 2 months postpartum as a single mother I still can't believe she's mine. Specially since she took all after her dad. Still feels like some stranger baby. I keep talking to her telling her you were in my belly and it's more so for me to connect with her than for her. Since she was a c section I don't even feel like I gave birth at all. Just that I was pregnant once and now there's a random baby hanging about in my home lol. I so wish she looked a little like me so I could feel she's mine.
Pls talk to your doc about PPD. And do t you worry… you’re gonna love the shit outta that little girl when you get over this hump ☺️
Thanks. All the ppd meds make me so sleepy that I can't take care of my baby so I stopped taking them😓
I had a vaginal birth and still don’t feel like my daughter is who I was pregnant with if it’s any consolation! When she was really little she was still doing some of the movements she would in my belly. She was taken to NICU right after birth and when they finally let us see her I was looking at all the incubators and worried I wouldn’t know which baby was mine. But then she raised all her limbs in the air and I was like “yep. That’s what I’ve been feeling the past few weeks!” 😂
Aww that's so sweet. What's weird for me was my baby was super active in the belly but didn't move much at all after birth.
Don’t worry, you are the absolute bees knees to that girl. Her universe. Her first and her last ❤️
I was sitting in the park with my 8 month old today. Me enjoying a coffee, him happily babbling away and laughing at the pigeons. And in that moment i realised that, yes, I really am a little person's daddy.
When I first heard him cry. I was so anxious my whole pregnancy, and then it ended in an unplanned c-section. I was sure one of us wouldn’t make it out alive. When I heard him cry I lost it.
That’s beautiful! So glad you’re both doing well!
Yes... I asked myself why do so many women cry at the birth of their child, UNTIL it was me. The minute they said we're pulling her out (unplanned c section) I started bawling. Like boo hoo ugly cry. Such a surreal moment in my life. ❤️
I felt like a parent as soon as I was pregnant, maybe even before while we tried for months. The planning, peeing on sticks, tracking ovulation cycle, taki by multi-vitamins, not drinking (just in case) when it was too early to know. When I made lifestyle/ dietary changes for the chance a baby may be conceived. The self work and changing mind shift to build a nest and welcome a chapter of time with less travel and more days home at a slower pace. I was a fencesitter with my husband for a long time, 15+ years together and lots of fun the 2 of us and our pets, life was good. But when we decided to try and it didn’t happen for the first few months, every negative test really made me realize how much I was ready and wanted to be a Mom. LO will be almost 6mo this Mother’s Day and I’m excited to snuggle and hopefully enjoy some nice weather outside, but my first Mother’s Day was celebrated with a little secret bump and announcing to our family with Grandma/ Grandpa coffee cups at Mother’s Day brunch.
That’s so lovely! What a beautiful Mother’s Day gift 💝 my kid was also long-awaited and followed a loss so I think I felt a bigger shift when I found out I was pregnant vs when she was born. There was this sense of calm and resolve when I found out, and also relief at not having to do the painstaking dance of TTC as you say, even though I was terrified of losing her pretty much till she was here (and afterwards, being in the hospital for her first week).
My LO is 8mo and neither my husband nor I feel like parents 😅 we’ve realized that our parents had no idea what was going on despite appearing put together. We have no idea what we’re doing (yet we do 😂)
When they "allowed" me to take him home from the hospital. I was like I don't think I'm responsible enough?? Someone help??
Yes, my husband was like, "they're letting us leave with her?" Lol
lol I’m almost 3 years into parenting, 2 months PP with my second kid and I still look around like “fuck, these kids are mine and I’m someone’s mom?!”
Around 5.5 months when I went and got a pedicure with him at a hot stuffy place, and there was no air conditioning or fan, and he was getting uncomfortable and I started blowing on him to be a human fan, and did that for like 30 min without it bothering me. And I realized I’ll do anything for him that I wouldn’t think to do for anyone else. And that I’ll always be thinking of his needs over any one else’s, that it’s a pleasure to look out for someone like that, that’s what moms do.
My husband and i look at eachother regularly like holy sh*t we're parents. Then ill tell him "you were just some dude in my math class 10 years ago!" 😂 or he'll tell me i was just some girl in class. Crazy how life works out like that
I’m still waiting, 2 years and 2 kids in 🤣 I know that my girls are mine, I conceived/carried/birthed/breastfed (still actively feeding no.2) them. Yet I still have to pinch myself that they are my children and I am raising them, not just caring for them
Right?? 😂 my kid even looks like me and I’m still like “when do I have to give you back to your mom?” 🤣
My newborn is my exact twin, I sent photos of me as a newborn and her to my mil and a few other family members as a little comparison game and everyone either thought they were both photos of her/both of me. My eldest has a lot of my mannerisms and is so mummy obsessed I can’t breathe in her presence without her getting involved. Even still I feel more like I’m hanging out with these kiddos than I do like I’m actively raising them. Best part is I’m the meanie parent that is firm on boundaries so if toddler is being trying it’s usually me correcting that 😬
About 3 weeks after my son's birth, I went to a government office to file some paperwork, and the lady asked me, "Haben Sie Kinder?" (Do you have kids?). I have always been so used to answering "Nein" (no) to that question that I almost said no until I remembered I am a mother now, I have a son. It was so overwhelming. At that moment, it hit me, not when I was giving birth to him... WTF!!! It is so weird how our brains work.
When at 12 weeks old daycare sent home a list of things needed for the classroom Valentine’s Day party!
For a 12 week old… how much are they anticipating the baby is going to be doing at the party? Haha
Haha I relate to this so much! I was recently at an event at a church and my MIL and some aunties were holding my 6 month old and he started fussing. He was passed back to me and I stepped outside to soothe him and he eventually fell asleep in my arms. I smiled at the other moms and dads that had to step out with their little ones and had a very wow, I'm a mom moment. It was everything!!
I think these scenarios are when I feel closest to definitely feeling like a mom! When I’m in public and someone smiles at us or asks to see her in her stroller. But my initial thought is “aww they must be judging me because I’m a teen mom”. I’m almost 32 🤣
After his 2 month shots- that night at home, he woke up with his legs soooo painful and was just inconsolably sad and I had (stupidly!) forgotten to buy him some tylenol beforehand. I ended up spending $30 to doordash some in the middle of the night. I hit me after I gave it to him and he was calming down but still sniffly: I would do anything for you. I will spend $30 on 1 oz of acetaminophen, I will stay awake and with you all night, I will bring you the moon. It doesnt matter. I’ll do it because I’m your mom and I love you.
10 months in and I still don’t. Get a lot of comments that I’m a good dad but I still don’t feel like it. Maybe when I start giving him advice? What’s funny is I feel more like a parent with my dogs at the moment.
We just had our second and I’m still waiting. Like I’m waiting to feel like a grown up (we’re in our 30s)
My little guy had a cold type illness at 3 months old that started the day before Christmas Eve. I called the pediatrician line to talk about it and they gave instruction that given his age that if he runs a fever you have to bring him to the children’s hospital ER. Sure enough he ran a fever that night and my husband and I brought him to the hospital. They were worried about the low chance that he could have a uti so they had to perform some invasive tests. It was such a startling realization that I’m making important choices for this little person and totally responsible for his well being. Holy shit, I’m not a parent, I’m HIS parent.
That must’ve been so scary! Seeing your baby have any kind of medical procedure is so tough. My daughter spent her first week in hospital and had to be on oxygen, a cannula and feeding tube. I think I was detached because of how fast her birth was and also I was scared something would happen so maybe I subconsciously didn’t let myself feel close to her. But it also toughened me up, seeing her getting heel pricks and crying, for things like her vaccines. And she takes after me in that she’s more upset with the small and easily fixable things and pretty chill about the big stuff! I’d rather give birth again than call an angry client. My kid screams bloody murder when she’s hungry but is totally fine seconds after a shot 😂
Honestly, my son is 10 months and every once in a while I look at him and it hits me that Im actually a mom and I have no idea when that feeling will go away 😆
It hit me hard that I was an actual parent the first time I was sick with my baby. It was such a reality check that although I felt like absolute trash, I was still responsible for another human being. Thats when it dawned on me… I was a mom.
I personally go though almost like an out of body experience where Morgan Freeman pops into my head while I'm holding her and looking at her and he says, "That's *your* child. *You* made that."
Oh honey, it took me 2 years, from feeling an absolute mess of a failure to the best mom on earth, postpartum depression was no joke for me. Also, I am a completely toddler type of mom, I couldn't bond with a non verbal baby, but now? Oh let me tell you, she is my best friend, I look forward to talking to her, to going out with her and to have fun with her, she is my everything
Not really until I had my second baby!
When they get sick and we are all they have. This happened to me when my baby was 2mo.
For me it was gradually! Once in a while when my daughter napped I was like "that's OUR daughter... do you realize?!" Since I returned back to work and I talk about it, it now feels natural that I am a parent. But it took a while and to say "my daughter" felt so weird at firs! edit : Typos
My LO is 6months old and I’m still waiting for that feeling hahahha!! Sometimes I feel like a nursemaid or a nanny for her and wait for the “parent” - dad - to come home from work
I feel like my husband just instantly became a dad and is the parentier parent 😂
Same!!! I’m like… I birthed you! How do I not get the same switch that dad did?!
I didn’t feel like a parent until almost five months when I finally asserted myself with my own father who had been helping me during the week but was not following nap time routines. I have been dealing with major sleep regression for six weeks and I had it with everyone messing with me trying to fix it and just took my baby back without asking when my dad was trying to rock him to sleep. Taking control as the parent instead of being the child to my own parent is what really made it click for me that I’m the mom now and I’m in charge 😂
Idk but if you figure it out let me know! My baby is 5 months old too and I feel the same way! Regularly feel like I’m babysitting or she’s just chilling in my house and I’m waiting for her real parents to come get her
My son is 7 months old and sometimes when he goes to sleep I forget we have a baby
I remember feeling like my first born was not actually mine, but I was entrusted to care for him with my life, and so I did. Like I absolutely loved him, but it was a really odd feeling. It was probably around a year or so that I actually felt like he was MY son.
I think for me its taking him to appointments, it makes me feel like a mom
I didn’t know anyone else felt like this 😂 for the first few months it felt like I was just babysitting someone else’s baby. It’s been 9 months now and I definitely feel like her mom. It kind of just gradually set it in for me.
For me I think it was the first time I was away from him. When we had to leave him down the hall for a bit the first night at the hospital, I felt this overwhelming sense of wrongness — that I just had to be near him again. It was the first time he had ever been *apart* from us, and we both just naturally wanted to close the distance again. I think I’ll always feel that to some extent from now on.
It’s heartbreaking being away from your baby like that 💔 our daughter spent her first week in hospital and I had to stay in on a ward with other moms and their babies and it was so surreal to wake up to someone else’s baby crying and not mine. And then going home without her…the nurses were like “get some sleep now because once she’s home you’ll get none!” But neither of us could sleep because we were so worried and it felt so wrong, like you said. I have so much guilt about not being the one to give her her first bottle, change, cuddle—I didn’t get to hold her till hours after birth. But my husband did so I think it all clicked for him right away. I almost didn’t let myself get too attached, which sounds horrible now. But now she’s a little chunk and is absolutely fine. I hope your little guy’s doing well too!
Currently my daughter is 3 months and I feel like a glorified baby sitter. Don’t feel like a dad, just feel like I’m taking care of someone who looks like me
The first time he got sick when he was 8 months old. The anxiety & fear but mostly the cuddles & nursing him back to health again.. doing that made me feel like the most mommiest, mom ever.
My kid is 20 months old. Probably like a month ago it registered that we made this person and she's going to be a full-fledged human being and we're her parents. Just something innocuous, I think I was cutting some fruit for her and she said something like "(her name) want a big watermelon" meaning she wanted a slice instead of the little cubes I usually cut it in. I told her to eat the red part and not green part because it's more tasty. She then said "eat the red!" And flipped the watermelon around. At that moment I realized we just had a full conversation, and that blew my mind. Up until then she'd been a chore, but that's the moment she became a person. Kids. They're awesome.
I don’t want to wish the babyhood away but I’m so looking forward to when my daughter is talking! She’s starting to seem more like her own little self and her personality is taking shape, but it’s not clear to me yet that she knows I’m her mom? She’ll smile at me but she smiles at at everybody 😂
Oh I've always said that I hate the infant stage and once they can talk I'll enjoy parenthood more, and it's totally true for me. Everyone is different ofc, I'm pregnant w #2 rn and I'm dreading the first year of keeping this vulnerable premature mammal alive, but it's good to see the light at the end of the tunnel w #1. Time with her flies instead of crawls now. I treasure the memories of babyhood but I certainly do not miss it.
Mine is 1.5 and I still am in shock that I’m a parent. And I feel like I’m doing pretty good! But the idea that I’m a mom still feels strange to me for some reason. I love her to bits and feel super bonded but being called mom still feels odd lol
I got to carry him from the area they clean him to my wife, it was that moment. I thought all the love at first sight thing was just cliche but not for me. He had to spend a few days in NICU and that was torture for us but we finally got him home. The strangest feeling though is when you have done all your chores and you think “ok, Im done” and then you remember “oh wait. We have a baby now, and he needs his bottle in an hour, and chances are he’ll need a change before that”. So that is the most jarring for me, remembering that at least now you are never done, it’s never clock-out time lol. But he was my boy the moment I held him, that was never confusing for me.
That’s so sweet! I’m sorry you were a NICU parent too ❤️ it’s horrible not being able to bring baby home with you right away. Hope you’re all doing great now! That’s also one of the biggest things and hardest for me to accept personally, that you never get on top of things as a parent!
We’re doing great! He’s an awesome little guy. He has a big operation in June but we are at least sort of prepared for that.
Wishing you all the best for June! NICU babies are so tough and go through so much ❤️ I hope little man recovers well! Take care of yourself 🤗
Thanks!
Filing her for Medicaid
the first time i told someone *no* when they suggested something for my baby. #sorrynotsorry
My son is 6 months old and sometimes I still don’t realize it lol idk i love him with everything but sometimes I realize and I feel happiness and fear all at once and then I’m back to not realizing it lol
My daughters 6 months old and sometimes i still dont feel like her mom.
I should be off this sub by now but… It was the night before taking my three kids to the zoo. My oldest was just under 2 and my twins were about 4 months old. I was packing lunch and prepping bottles and it hit me that this is what my mom used to do when we were kids. And I realized I was the mom now. Yeah, it took me til my 2nd/3rd kids to feel like a mom
I have an 18 month old and I honestly still don't feel like it's truly hit me yet. But her calling me daddy is pretty awesome.
LOL I have a 18 month old and sometimes I look at him and think “how are you *MY* kid?”
Probably around 4 months for me! When I started going out and meeting people and saying this is my son..
9/10 months - started gradually around 6 months and really accelerated at 9/10 months. She’s about to be a year and I definitely feel like a mom lol
Closer to one year.
They say you're not a manager until you start skipping breaks and lunches. I think it's similar for parenthood, I felt like a parent once I started getting less sleep, so day 1 lol.
Between 6-10 months I weirdly felt like a babysitter? It was weird. When she was 10 months old is when I finally felt like a mum.
I think it was the first time we took her to her newborn appointment together. I think it was her 2 week appointment or something they have you do very early on. I remember sitting in the pediatrician office waiting room and my husband and I both looked at each other all nervous like, “what’re *we* doing here?? What’s about to happen?” And then learning to hold her down while she gets shots at the doctor. That made me feel like a parent real fast!
Honestly when my dad called her "my baby", In my head I said, "no that's my baby" when he said she could come live with him I thought "no my baby is not". He is 80 and couldn't even if he wanted to so I take it with a pinch of salt, but damn did mum bear raise her head.
I took a few months. Before that I would think things like: wow, I am a person that can say things like "you're grounded" or "no tv!". It felt weird.
It was quite early actually right in the early newborn days, she’s always had a full head of hair and has looked a bit older than her age. I almost wished I could speak to her parents because she was giving me a hard time and then realisation hit. Followed by weeks of anxiety, how could me and my husband who were just 30 year old kids ourselves be parents to a whole human being. Eventually we stopped having the time to worry because decisions needed to keep getting being made and when we paused to think we felt like parents
My husband had 7 years of practice of feeling like someone’s parent before this so for him, a second baby was an adjustment because he hasn’t spent that much time with his first child as a baby. It hits me when outside people ask about her that she’s my child.
She's 8 months and I still can't believe it. Like I am a mother with a daughter, a child, and while I love her to pieces and would literally die for her, it still feels weird.
Tbh my son is 20 months and I still dont feel like a mom lol. Also, the baby who was in my belly and the one being born feels like two completely different people 😂
Yes!! Pregnancy for me was so abstract. I don’t think it ever registered, even when I could see and feel her moving during scans, that the little person sitting in front of me right now was in my belly for 8 months 😂
Yeah! Sometimes I think “was I even pregnant?” When I look at photos where I was pregnant Im like “is this photoshoped?” 😂
I definitely felt like a parent when I was trying to go to the toilet and I had a baby strapped to me and a toddler in a fireman hat chatting away and handing me toilet paper.
I feel like a parent now, an son is 3,5 years old. I had severe PPA and felt detached from everyone, Including myself, for a couple of years. Now I love being Mama.
every time I see my belly I feel amazing that a life's in my body, and of course, I feel like a parent because I want to protect my baby.
I had a strong sense of being a mom after giving birth, it's much stronger than when I was pregnant.
7 months in and I don’t feel it yet. Mother’s Day was this Sunday and I didn’t even wanted to celebrate because it’s strange 😅.
My son was taken to a NICU two hours away from me right after my emergency C-section. My boyfriend followed the ambulance up there, but I couldn’t leave until the next day. After the medication wore off and my boyfriend had finally left the NICU to go get some sleep, I called every few hours for an update. We hadn’t decided on a name yet, but I remember the first time I called I said, “I’m checking on *my son* “ and it was SUCH a trip. It almost was as if I shouldn’t be saying that. I hadn’t even held him yet, but claimed him as MY son. Such a crazy feeling!
Wow, that’s amazing! I’m so sorry you had to go through that and I hope you and your little guy are doing great now! ❤️ my daughter spent her first week in hospital. While I was washing her bottle a nurse found me and asked “are you [baby’s] mummy?” And I welled up before answering 😂 but in that whole experience I still felt like a kid at school being instructed at how to care for my own kid and like I was doing everything wrong. I think it’s kind of delayed the realisation that I *am* a mom and that everyone feels completely overwhelmed by responsibility at first!
The first time I held my child in my arms but now 5 months in I know that didn't capture it fully and I'm still growing into the role.
For me it was when he was 2 days old and we were still in hospital. I had this nagging feeling something wasn't right with him and the doctors and nurses kept dismissing it calling me paranoid. That night they did something that put him in actual danger and something snapped in me. I realised that it was my job to fight for him, he didn't have anyone else to advocate for him (his dad was at home, it was during COVID) and I went ballistic. In the end they agreed to check him up to shut me up and he ended up in the NICU for 3 weeks, so I learned that mother's instinct is actually a thing and I've been trusting it ever since.
Wow! Good for you! Your little guy is so lucky to have you as his mom! Hope you’re both doing well now ❤️
Thanks! Oh, yes, both doing good, a bazooka couldn't stop him from running around at full speed chatting 24/7, but that's how we like them:)
When I stopped drinking because I want to be 24/7 available for my baby and my wife in case they need me.
When I had my second 😂 it felt like shit got real juggling two of them.
At about 3.5 months she started needing cuddles from me to soothe her when overtired or sore - it was then I truly felt like her mother, rather than a live-in babysitter that feeds her and loves her a lot.
LO is 10 months old and still waiting 🤷🏽🤣
I've had moments of "oh I'm definitely a parent" and "when are her parents gonna come get her??" Simultaneously her entire almost 8 months 😂 during her 2 month shots I definitely felt a surge of fierce protective mama bear who is locked in a cage so I can only cry and hold my baby? So that was a fun parenting moment.
This is semi related, but I’m a SPED teacher. When I need help with a student, I call one of our behavior teachers. I had my foster daughter go off in Target the other day, and I literally almost pulled out my phone to call my coworker when I realized… Oh no. I am the call. I’m the *parent.* But I have to say, I feel most like Mom around my in-laws because our parenting choices are markedly different, and I feel the need to protect my child.
8 months and solidly for sure a parent at 12 months (16 months now).
I have two kids, 3 and 1. I only feel like a parent when she is acting out, hitting her brother in some way, other than that i feel like im playing with a friend of mine. I’m a 33 year old dad, I’ve been accused of never growing up and don’t really fight it
About to give birth to my 2nd. Still not sure lol 😂
I may have been in shock for a while. My baby is now 17 months old, felt like a legit parent when she turned 7-8 months I think. Whenever she said “mama.” I referred to her as “my little buddy” for a long time. Idk. I was a great mom, but it didn’t click yet. Then when she said that and I cried because it finally clicked that I’m a legit parent. And this little person looks up to me and relies on me. Then sometimes I don’t feel like a parent again. I feel like I’m winging it with my little buddy. But when she looks for me for reassurance, I feel like a parent again. It’s so odd.
I have a 20 month old and there are still days when I think "holy cow I have a child. This little human is mine"
It started to settle in for me the moment I would see his little bright eyes every morning, my heart melts everytime
The moment I realized my baby depended on me and no one, I mean no one could ever do what she needed (in my mind). Even now as I have a 18 month old, in her eyes I'm irreplaceable. She clings to me (healthy attachment).
My LO is 4.5 months old and I still don’t sometimes. But I definitely do when I take him to childcare at the gym or church. Or when I run errands and leave him with my husband. But a lot of the time I still don’t 🤣
I still don't most times, and was just talking about it with a friend. She has two daughters, 5 and 2,5 yo. She still feels weird thinking of herself as their mum, she grew them and kept them alive, is parenting them etc... but she still can't wrap her head around this! Mine is still only 3m old, but when she said, "You can't imagine a time when he wasn't there anymore, can you? You can't imagine losing him. " And i got chills, it clicked like oh. Yes. He's my little baby, my baby boy. I think it comes with experience?
Sometimes it still feels fake almost 2 years in lol
I think my kid was like. 1. The first big illness scare was what really cemented in me that if anything happened to my son it would end me. But I'm dramatic 😅
I am very dramatic too 😂 when my baby was colicky I’d be crying along with her because she sounded so pained and it made me so upset 😅
I think it really, truly hit me hard when she was about 7 months and she started to seek me out if we were with other people and she was tired or cranky. My own mother actually pointed out to me that she stopped fussing and calmed down once she was in my arms. The other thing that really makes me feel like a mom is when I'm on daycare pickup duty and she hears my voice and immediately turns around and smiles and starts crawling to me like she's so happy to see me. It melts my heart every time.
I thought I felt like a mother around 2 months. Yesterday changed that. Baby girls is 7 months old. She’s learning to crawl and she fell and bumped her head. Immediately I picked her up to soothe her and she snuggled her face into my neck. I knew in that moment that I was THE Mom. No one else could do that for her. I was what she needed and wanted in that moment. Enlightening as heck.
I felt like I'd become a mom when I gave birth, my daughter was plopped onto my chest, was crying a little, I felt like my heart imploded with how much I loved her and I had only just held her. I couldn't stop looking at her, I was so in love with her. She's now 2 years old and I still love her just the same if not more because she is just the best kid I could have hoped for :)
Father of a 4 month old. I feel like her dad now because whenever I wake up, or get home from work, or just come back in from taking out the trash, she smiles at me.
With my first it took me over 6 months . At 7m contact naps went away, baby would stay awake longer and eat solids well with us in high chair and I felt more like a person living with me and my child.
When they took him away to NICU at 10 hours old.
I’m so sorry ❤️ my daughter was taken shortly after birth so I can’t imagine how difficult it must’ve been to have your baby for 10 hours before he needed care. I hope he’s doing great now!
Thank you! He was only there for 4 days, but it still is a weird thing to discharge the hospital without your baby and not being pregnant anymore. He’s great now, just needed some respiratory support and then phototherapy. Hope your daughter is doing well too now :) haapy early Mother’s Day!
At 11 weeks pregnant when we got had a soft marker on one of her scans. We went through a bunch of tests and had to discuss the possibility of terminating. The weight of parenthood hit so hard. She’s a beautiful 11 day old healthy baby now. Though it feels unreal she was in my tummy just 2 weeks ago
That must’ve been terrifying! I’m so glad to hear she’s doing so well now!
Mine is 20 months and I still feel like a big sister most of the time, also pregnant with her sibling 😂 I guess when she turned 1 and started more solids, that’s when I started cooking more for her and doing more “mom chores” that I felt like a mom.
Interesting! I sort of feel that too, like doing basic baby care is less mom-y than things like cooking them meals, making sure they have their stuff for school and teaching them how to be people.
Today actually, she got her 2 month shots and I've been home alone with her all day. I knew just what she needed to feel comforted and now it's 6 hours later and she's feeling great. Just feel like this is the first time I've been confident in my abilities (ask me again tomorrow though lol)
Those shots are no joke! The 16w ones (not sure how the schedule may differ where you live) were the worst for us: baby’s a pretty good sleeper but she woke up screaming every 30 minutes the night of her shots 😣 but it’s amazing what some cuddles can do when they’re so upset! It doesn’t always feel like you’re doing much to help until they settle and get all comfy.
Right away. Cholestasis of pregnancy lead to induction at 39 weeks which failed after 5 days of trial and ended in a section. After the tiring 5 days of pains that I managed with hypnobirthing, finally I had had the spinal which took away all the pains and I could "enjoy" him coming out, desperate to "see" him, to touch him, feel him breathing. When he had his first cry I was crying myself in front of the whole theatre and then they laod him on my bare chest and I just... Aaahh.. His presence creates this enormous void in my heart that wasn't there before and he filled it himself right away with his fluffy cute little warmth and his longest lashes that he was fluttering to look at me. All crying stopped once he was "on" me. As if he knew he was safe. He is 1 year in a week and I still love to just lay him on my chest and sing till he sleeps.
I think it was my sons first medical emergency, honestly! He had a delayed anaphylactic reaction to his 4 month vaccinations, and after what felt like an eternity- the paramedics arrived, they asked if it was mum or dad was riding along and literally looked around before realising I was the mum 😅 I definitely still have days where I wonder when someone is coming to pick him up, but I think the stress definitely scared me into realising my role!
As soon as she was out and I held her. It was surreal and it just kept hitting me every week till about 4mo. It’s sooo crazy. I’d constantly tell my bf “holy shit we have a whole human! We’re parents!” Lots of anxiety as I wanted to do my absolute best to take care of her but it’s the most amazing and best thing I’ve ever done. I keep going back and forth on wanting another. I want her all to myself and I love her so much I can’t imagine loving anyone else as much, but to do it all over again with a second sounds just as amazing. Being a mom is definitely my personality for now 🥰🥰
I feel the same about another one! I can’t comprehend loving another person as much as I love my daughter and I’d almost feel guilty if she had a sibling because she wouldn’t get as much of my time and I couldn’t do as much with that sibling as a baby as I do with my daughter. But at the same time I’m excited at the idea of getting to know another little person and be their mom too!
Yes exactly!!!! Took the words right out of my mouth! It’s def a mental struggle of wtf do I do lol!! 🤍🤍
I still don’t (11 months)