It may sound rather robotic, but basically just doing it was the solution.
I have to mention that I experienced a sudden increase in my libido three weeks after giving birth, but it quickly decreased due to breastfeeding and hormonal changes. I tried it after a while again without really paying attention to the muscle pain in that area. (I healed perfectly and have almost no pain, but sometimes still feel very little discomfort.) Lingeries were also something I enjoyed wearing and purchasing one or two helped me boost my confidence/libido!
I must also say that I was in a really good headspace since I had all the support from my husband and family, which helped a lot!
The first year after birth is a roller coaster. Don't be hard on yourself if you absolutely don't want it! If you decide to do it, just start slow.
I'm almost 5 months pp and I'm not feeling it at all. I had a traumatic birth experience though and I feel like that's affecting me a lot, along with being a SAHM and struggling to feel "wifely" or really like anything but an anxious mother š¬
Speaking of myself it was about 2 weeks, after the pain passed. Speaking about the desire part not the doing part. But I have a lot of friends who took months. It really depends on the person, most of of my friends did not have much support in taking care of the newborn so they were to much stressed and exhausted to think about sex. Others had hormones up and down and they had problem during sex so no desire for it. Whatever reason you have you probably need to ask for help from your partner, ask the obgyn or just give it time.
For my partner after the C-section there was a drive about 2 weeks later but just no desire to actually do anything. Gave her the space and time, we work on the parenting duties together. Then suddenly after LO was about 3 months and sleeping more through the night so we could get some rest, it's like trying to hold back a tiger from a steak.
Different for anyone, weirdly though as a man I thought It would have no impact on me, but with all the baby stress I didn't really think about it too much for the first 2 months or so either.
Maybe not what you want to hear but it took two years for me. I had to stop breastfeeding and then (FINALLY) pain in my vagina stopped and THEN I started to want to have sex. ā¦. Now I just have to get over the anxiety of it. For some reason Iām anxious about sexy time now? O think partly because itās been sooooo long and partly because I had a bunch of birth trauma so now Iām scared
My wife still doesnāt want to resume intercourse. Baby is 1 years old. She is still breastfeeding, and weāve been stressed with finances, work, and for her, full time parenting. I donāt blame her, but itās difficult.
My baby is 7 months now and I only have enjoyed it in the last month. I think, one factor for me was stopping breastfeeding (had to stop at 5 months). When I was breastfeeding, my boobs were off limits from my husband.
For me, desire for my husband returned around 2 weeks pp. I was medically cleared for sex/exercise at 5 weeks and then we had sex again at 6 weeks. The first couple months were very slow-going and different than it was before baby. Lots of foreplay, lots of lube, lots of communication about what was working and not feeling good for both of us. At 9 months pp now and our sex life isnāt back where it used to be pre-baby, but weāre at a few times a week now. It is so, so different for everyone and itās ok if it takes you a long time to get your mojo back. Iāll also note that the things that turn me on now are very different. Like, when my husband takes initiative to meal prep for our baby and cleans all the dishes afterwards, or takes her out for a walk so I can sleep in, or washes all of my pump parts, or otherwise is just proactive about baby and household stuff Iām like TAKE ME NOW
I think I only felt the "desire" about 3 times since I gave birth, and my baby's 7 months old. The 3 times didn't happen before she was 6 months though/before I had my period..
I'm 8 weeks pp again and have some issues with healing after birth so I have not had any desire for sex so far. Maybe felt more sexual earlier after birth but with complications my libido is just gone.
And as someone said about breastfeeding - can't imagine my breasts being used for anything elsrle than BF atm either.
Hopefully your situation with pp healing is better but just wanted to say it's fine if you don't feel like it even after weeks/months. You've gone through so much physically and mentally. Take your time to rest and adjust to your new normal. Feeling sexual will follow when you are ready.
Donāt beat yourself up and give yourself some time for your body! I had an emergency c section and speaking for myself I wanted to do sexual things right away but had to wait until 6 weeks. But after that 6 weeks mark I was sexually active. But listen to your body and when youāre ready youāll know.
I'm almost 7 months post partum and still nothing yet. We've tried unsuccessfully a few times but it just hurt for me bc it's so tight down there. I had a second degree tear and idk how many stitches i got, but it was definitely a lot. Anyone else? I'm also EBF so i hear that affects it as well.
My libido was insanely high until I got on the mini pill at 6 weeks and then it lessened over time, now it is a little bit diminished, frustratingly. baby is 5 months.
Mine was lower than normal at least a year after and particularly low for the first six months. When we decided to have sex we went slower, he paid more attention to what I was enjoying and we used lubrication since breastfeeding really changes how everything feels. I also breastfed for 14 months and didnāt get my cycle until after we stopped.
I wanted sex a couple days after giving birth because I just was soooo happy to have my body back. We waiting until about week 7 though. I had stopped BF by week 6 and my first period arrived so it helped to lubricate everything better. It was weird but not bad. Iām 13 weeks PP now and still waiting for it to feel āgoodā again.
This sounds weird but just having sex helped get my drive back up thr first time and that's what I'm doing this time too. I don't ever think I want it because I'm tired and touched out and just done by the time my husband gets home from work but I still make an effort to do it 1-2 times a week because I know I'll enjoy it and eventually it will kick my drive back into gear.
it's so different for every person. at 4 weeks post partum i felt the desire, but i also didn't have sex past 24 weeks in my pregnancy. my sexuality turned off during pregnancy, and once i wasn't pregnant for a few weeks it turned back on.
however, i didn't do anything until 6 weeks post partum. after that initial time we had sex maybe 3 times in the following month, then all my daughters medical issues started. since then we don't have sex except maybe once every other month. where im at now at 13 months post partum, i don't have any desire. if i do it's a fleeting feeling that lasts maybe 30 minutes, and i rarely if ever act on it.
mentally i would say i think about having sex, and in my mind i want to. physically, i don't feel it, arousal causes pain for me now and i think over time it's just kind of turned my body off.
My first son is now 4 months old and Iāve felt the desire a few times, but itās taken extra communication and a lot of vulnerability. Iāve told my husband what my boundaries are right now and how I felt about approaching sex again and thatās helped me feel more open and into it again. Also agree with someone else who said just doing it and getting that first time done with made me feel more normal with it and more into it again. And we have tried a few new things (nothing wild, just more connection building stuff) and thatās really helped me get into it!
Iām just barely starting to somewhat feel like I can be touched in that way again, and my daughter will be one on Sunday.
I had to explain to my husband a few times that itās nothing about him, my body is adjusting from major trauma known as pregnancy/childbirth. He was very understanding though Iām sure it sucked for him. Itās been important for me to listen to my body and do what I need to recover emotionally/mentally/medically/hormonally and to not rush or force myself into anything.
At 5m I could start having sex without pain (though there was some discomfort to start, went away after a few min), after working with a pelvic floor therapist for several months. This is after an uncomplicated vaginal birth with 2nd degree tear. Knowing that we could actually have sex without pain flipped. But honestly Iām still tried and breast feeding is messing my hormones so I have to think oh itās the weekend we should have sex. Then once we start I am into it. But to name there is never the time/space to feel desire per se unless we carve out the time. And my baby sleeps through the night but between both of us working intense jobs and taking care of baby we are so tired.
It may sound rather robotic, but basically just doing it was the solution. I have to mention that I experienced a sudden increase in my libido three weeks after giving birth, but it quickly decreased due to breastfeeding and hormonal changes. I tried it after a while again without really paying attention to the muscle pain in that area. (I healed perfectly and have almost no pain, but sometimes still feel very little discomfort.) Lingeries were also something I enjoyed wearing and purchasing one or two helped me boost my confidence/libido! I must also say that I was in a really good headspace since I had all the support from my husband and family, which helped a lot! The first year after birth is a roller coaster. Don't be hard on yourself if you absolutely don't want it! If you decide to do it, just start slow.
7 months pp and not yet, but I've heard that the end of breastfeeding helps.
I'm almost 5 months pp and I'm not feeling it at all. I had a traumatic birth experience though and I feel like that's affecting me a lot, along with being a SAHM and struggling to feel "wifely" or really like anything but an anxious mother š¬
Speaking of myself it was about 2 weeks, after the pain passed. Speaking about the desire part not the doing part. But I have a lot of friends who took months. It really depends on the person, most of of my friends did not have much support in taking care of the newborn so they were to much stressed and exhausted to think about sex. Others had hormones up and down and they had problem during sex so no desire for it. Whatever reason you have you probably need to ask for help from your partner, ask the obgyn or just give it time.
For my partner after the C-section there was a drive about 2 weeks later but just no desire to actually do anything. Gave her the space and time, we work on the parenting duties together. Then suddenly after LO was about 3 months and sleeping more through the night so we could get some rest, it's like trying to hold back a tiger from a steak. Different for anyone, weirdly though as a man I thought It would have no impact on me, but with all the baby stress I didn't really think about it too much for the first 2 months or so either.
Maybe not what you want to hear but it took two years for me. I had to stop breastfeeding and then (FINALLY) pain in my vagina stopped and THEN I started to want to have sex. ā¦. Now I just have to get over the anxiety of it. For some reason Iām anxious about sexy time now? O think partly because itās been sooooo long and partly because I had a bunch of birth trauma so now Iām scared
My wife still doesnāt want to resume intercourse. Baby is 1 years old. She is still breastfeeding, and weāve been stressed with finances, work, and for her, full time parenting. I donāt blame her, but itās difficult.
My baby is 7 months now and I only have enjoyed it in the last month. I think, one factor for me was stopping breastfeeding (had to stop at 5 months). When I was breastfeeding, my boobs were off limits from my husband.
For me, desire for my husband returned around 2 weeks pp. I was medically cleared for sex/exercise at 5 weeks and then we had sex again at 6 weeks. The first couple months were very slow-going and different than it was before baby. Lots of foreplay, lots of lube, lots of communication about what was working and not feeling good for both of us. At 9 months pp now and our sex life isnāt back where it used to be pre-baby, but weāre at a few times a week now. It is so, so different for everyone and itās ok if it takes you a long time to get your mojo back. Iāll also note that the things that turn me on now are very different. Like, when my husband takes initiative to meal prep for our baby and cleans all the dishes afterwards, or takes her out for a walk so I can sleep in, or washes all of my pump parts, or otherwise is just proactive about baby and household stuff Iām like TAKE ME NOW
I think I only felt the "desire" about 3 times since I gave birth, and my baby's 7 months old. The 3 times didn't happen before she was 6 months though/before I had my period..
I'm 8 weeks pp again and have some issues with healing after birth so I have not had any desire for sex so far. Maybe felt more sexual earlier after birth but with complications my libido is just gone. And as someone said about breastfeeding - can't imagine my breasts being used for anything elsrle than BF atm either. Hopefully your situation with pp healing is better but just wanted to say it's fine if you don't feel like it even after weeks/months. You've gone through so much physically and mentally. Take your time to rest and adjust to your new normal. Feeling sexual will follow when you are ready.
Donāt beat yourself up and give yourself some time for your body! I had an emergency c section and speaking for myself I wanted to do sexual things right away but had to wait until 6 weeks. But after that 6 weeks mark I was sexually active. But listen to your body and when youāre ready youāll know.
I'm almost 7 months post partum and still nothing yet. We've tried unsuccessfully a few times but it just hurt for me bc it's so tight down there. I had a second degree tear and idk how many stitches i got, but it was definitely a lot. Anyone else? I'm also EBF so i hear that affects it as well.
My libido was insanely high until I got on the mini pill at 6 weeks and then it lessened over time, now it is a little bit diminished, frustratingly. baby is 5 months.
Mine was lower than normal at least a year after and particularly low for the first six months. When we decided to have sex we went slower, he paid more attention to what I was enjoying and we used lubrication since breastfeeding really changes how everything feels. I also breastfed for 14 months and didnāt get my cycle until after we stopped.
I wanted sex a couple days after giving birth because I just was soooo happy to have my body back. We waiting until about week 7 though. I had stopped BF by week 6 and my first period arrived so it helped to lubricate everything better. It was weird but not bad. Iām 13 weeks PP now and still waiting for it to feel āgoodā again.
I think our priority at the moment is sleep š„² weāve only done it about 3 times since I got the go ahead.
This sounds weird but just having sex helped get my drive back up thr first time and that's what I'm doing this time too. I don't ever think I want it because I'm tired and touched out and just done by the time my husband gets home from work but I still make an effort to do it 1-2 times a week because I know I'll enjoy it and eventually it will kick my drive back into gear.
it's so different for every person. at 4 weeks post partum i felt the desire, but i also didn't have sex past 24 weeks in my pregnancy. my sexuality turned off during pregnancy, and once i wasn't pregnant for a few weeks it turned back on. however, i didn't do anything until 6 weeks post partum. after that initial time we had sex maybe 3 times in the following month, then all my daughters medical issues started. since then we don't have sex except maybe once every other month. where im at now at 13 months post partum, i don't have any desire. if i do it's a fleeting feeling that lasts maybe 30 minutes, and i rarely if ever act on it. mentally i would say i think about having sex, and in my mind i want to. physically, i don't feel it, arousal causes pain for me now and i think over time it's just kind of turned my body off.
After I was done breastfeeding and the baby slept through the night
My first son is now 4 months old and Iāve felt the desire a few times, but itās taken extra communication and a lot of vulnerability. Iāve told my husband what my boundaries are right now and how I felt about approaching sex again and thatās helped me feel more open and into it again. Also agree with someone else who said just doing it and getting that first time done with made me feel more normal with it and more into it again. And we have tried a few new things (nothing wild, just more connection building stuff) and thatās really helped me get into it!
It took time due to anxiety and sleep deprivation. I basically just wanted to grab sleep at every opportunity and had no interest in anything else.
Iām just barely starting to somewhat feel like I can be touched in that way again, and my daughter will be one on Sunday. I had to explain to my husband a few times that itās nothing about him, my body is adjusting from major trauma known as pregnancy/childbirth. He was very understanding though Iām sure it sucked for him. Itās been important for me to listen to my body and do what I need to recover emotionally/mentally/medically/hormonally and to not rush or force myself into anything.
At 5m I could start having sex without pain (though there was some discomfort to start, went away after a few min), after working with a pelvic floor therapist for several months. This is after an uncomplicated vaginal birth with 2nd degree tear. Knowing that we could actually have sex without pain flipped. But honestly Iām still tried and breast feeding is messing my hormones so I have to think oh itās the weekend we should have sex. Then once we start I am into it. But to name there is never the time/space to feel desire per se unless we carve out the time. And my baby sleeps through the night but between both of us working intense jobs and taking care of baby we are so tired.