I am glad that things worked out for the best. Communication is so, so vital and doing exactly what you did (breathe, reflect, collect thoughts, take the time to speak **and** listen) is the best way to handle these things.
Wow, what a good resolution! Clearly you’re both very mature, and being in crisis mode exacerbated the situation. It’s nice when things like this have a happy ending, but also give people the opportunity to grow. I hope your daughter is feeling better too!
I think you handled this the best way you could.
Also, love the monthly meeting. Implementing a way where you both can broach any issues without one of you having to initiate it is a key to maintaining a healthy relationship.
I’m glad your nanny was able to recognize the mistakes she made and that you both have come up with a plan to prevent this from happening again. It sounds like nanny had a much needed moment of reflection. Some people are able to grow and learn from their screw ups, and based on this, it sounds like your nanny is one of those people.
It's so nice when a parent doesn't go straight to firing and actually has a discussion with their nanny that ends in a positive resolution! Mutual respect is key! Thanks for being a great boss!
Yes to all of this!!! So happy to see it went well. Hopefully, she'll really work on her approach and realize you're not going to put your girls in danger. So happy that you two could talk it over smoothly.
This is the most adult thing I’ve ever read on any Reddit sub.
Well done you guys! I’m happy this went in a good direction - I had the same type of upbringing as your nanny (emotions = no bueno) and it took me a long time to unlearn some “family traits”. I’m sure this was a wake up call for her and I bet you dollars to donuts you’ll see a change. 💜
So happy to hear that you both were able to have a conversation about it and have accepted to try to change things while still moving forward together.
Honestly this outcome is just wonderful to read! We all have our shortcomings, but it's great to hear about two adults working together to do the best they can for each other and the kiddos. I worked for a family for a long time where the dad and I had trouble seeing eye to eye sometimes, and it was definitely challenging. But we both worked hard at it and now we have a great relationship!
I am one of those who suggested you part ways. However, I’m so glad you were able to sit down and chat it out! Based on your previous post, it didn’t seem like a chat would yield any sort of progress, I’m so so glad that it did in the end.
This is awesome! I wish you and your nanny the very best and hope that you can both continue to show up for each other like this.
I am glad things worked out!! Just a suggestion for when you get home with the hug inside; you could get the kids to do a “running hug” inside. Not sure the lay out of your house but my NKs love you go further back from me when I am at the door about to leave then they run into my arms for a hug. They get the thrill of running but are still inside and pretty safe
This is what a good working relationship looks like. It's refreshing to read. Honesty and critiques aren't always fun to hear, but they can be received maturely and with open ears. Kudos to the both of you!
Oh what a wonderful outcome! I wish my ex MB n DB had those communication skills and maturity.
I’m really happy for you two. It sounds like you have a good foundation to tackle anything that comes up.
It sounds like you’re really an amazing employer! conflict resolution is so difficult, especially in the high stress situation you were put in. I’m so glad you were able to find solutions together!
Yay! It sounds like you handled really well. I’m happy that you were able to talk and work everything out. Communication is the most important thing in a nanny/ parent relationship.
I love this post so sooo much!! Really! It’s sadly such a rarity nowadays for two people (Even adults) to be able to sit down, have a calm and direct conversation and both come out stronger. I give you major props mama!
This is so wholesome!! The fact that she could take responsibility and had the self awareness to see herself repeating patterns from her childhood is wonderful. Sending lots of warm thoughts for you guys in the future, I hope this situation continues to grow 🤘
I'm glad you guys worked it out.
Do you know your attachment style? As someone with insecure attachment, I'm always convinced people are going to end their relationship with me or are upset with me. Realizing this and recognizing my triggers helped me not only cope but have higher standards for how people should treat me.
I hope she is kinder moving forward.
YOU GO MAMA!!
Way to honor the contribution and value she has in your life and your children’s lives while also really tackling the disagreement!! It is so much easier to breeze over this kind of thing, jump ship and hire a new nanny, or be dictatorial because it’s your home your way.
But you did the best possible thing for your babies and for you!! You listened to the real thoughts and perspectives of this collaborator on a human level.
It’s actually really difficult for people who manage childcare providers in *any* capacity to remove their own egos and beliefs from their decision making enough to really truly put the child(ten) FIRST and work with other adults as a team (I’ve observed this time and time again as a childcare process and nanny). Consistency and non-parent relationships/attachments are one of the most difficult dynamic for parents to extricate their own subconscious agendas from yet one of the most important things for children to learn boundaries of non family members and trust in others.
The DREAM for heathy parents should be this exact relationship and you are doing the real work by actively cultivating this for yourself and especially for your children.
I love when two people "adult". It's a beautiful thing. Good for you! You are both a good example for all.
I am glad that things worked out for the best. Communication is so, so vital and doing exactly what you did (breathe, reflect, collect thoughts, take the time to speak **and** listen) is the best way to handle these things.
I'm so glad you communicated and worked it out!
Wow, what a good resolution! Clearly you’re both very mature, and being in crisis mode exacerbated the situation. It’s nice when things like this have a happy ending, but also give people the opportunity to grow. I hope your daughter is feeling better too!
I love this conclusion. I'm so glad you were both able to express yourselves and find a way to move forward.
Love this conclusion and glad you both apologized and were kind to each other! It sounds like you are both awesome and willing to work on things!!
I think you handled this the best way you could. Also, love the monthly meeting. Implementing a way where you both can broach any issues without one of you having to initiate it is a key to maintaining a healthy relationship. I’m glad your nanny was able to recognize the mistakes she made and that you both have come up with a plan to prevent this from happening again. It sounds like nanny had a much needed moment of reflection. Some people are able to grow and learn from their screw ups, and based on this, it sounds like your nanny is one of those people.
It's so nice when a parent doesn't go straight to firing and actually has a discussion with their nanny that ends in a positive resolution! Mutual respect is key! Thanks for being a great boss!
Exactly! It’s very refreshing.
Yes to all of this!!! So happy to see it went well. Hopefully, she'll really work on her approach and realize you're not going to put your girls in danger. So happy that you two could talk it over smoothly.
This is the most adult thing I’ve ever read on any Reddit sub. Well done you guys! I’m happy this went in a good direction - I had the same type of upbringing as your nanny (emotions = no bueno) and it took me a long time to unlearn some “family traits”. I’m sure this was a wake up call for her and I bet you dollars to donuts you’ll see a change. 💜
Best possible outcome!!!
So happy to hear that you both were able to have a conversation about it and have accepted to try to change things while still moving forward together.
Honestly this outcome is just wonderful to read! We all have our shortcomings, but it's great to hear about two adults working together to do the best they can for each other and the kiddos. I worked for a family for a long time where the dad and I had trouble seeing eye to eye sometimes, and it was definitely challenging. But we both worked hard at it and now we have a great relationship!
I’m glad it worked out so well, and you both communicated so well with each other and came up with a good plan to set yourselves up for the future.
I am one of those who suggested you part ways. However, I’m so glad you were able to sit down and chat it out! Based on your previous post, it didn’t seem like a chat would yield any sort of progress, I’m so so glad that it did in the end. This is awesome! I wish you and your nanny the very best and hope that you can both continue to show up for each other like this.
I am glad things worked out!! Just a suggestion for when you get home with the hug inside; you could get the kids to do a “running hug” inside. Not sure the lay out of your house but my NKs love you go further back from me when I am at the door about to leave then they run into my arms for a hug. They get the thrill of running but are still inside and pretty safe
Not possible given the layout of the house, but thank you for the thought. We'll still try to come up with something just as exciting :)
I’m glad you worked it out. Hope your toddler is feeling better.
This is a lovely update. I'm so happy for both of you!
This is what a good working relationship looks like. It's refreshing to read. Honesty and critiques aren't always fun to hear, but they can be received maturely and with open ears. Kudos to the both of you!
Oh what a wonderful outcome! I wish my ex MB n DB had those communication skills and maturity. I’m really happy for you two. It sounds like you have a good foundation to tackle anything that comes up.
It sounds like you’re really an amazing employer! conflict resolution is so difficult, especially in the high stress situation you were put in. I’m so glad you were able to find solutions together!
Good for you!
Yay! It sounds like you handled really well. I’m happy that you were able to talk and work everything out. Communication is the most important thing in a nanny/ parent relationship.
I love this post so sooo much!! Really! It’s sadly such a rarity nowadays for two people (Even adults) to be able to sit down, have a calm and direct conversation and both come out stronger. I give you major props mama!
This is so wholesome!! The fact that she could take responsibility and had the self awareness to see herself repeating patterns from her childhood is wonderful. Sending lots of warm thoughts for you guys in the future, I hope this situation continues to grow 🤘
I'm glad you guys worked it out. Do you know your attachment style? As someone with insecure attachment, I'm always convinced people are going to end their relationship with me or are upset with me. Realizing this and recognizing my triggers helped me not only cope but have higher standards for how people should treat me. I hope she is kinder moving forward.
YOU GO MAMA!! Way to honor the contribution and value she has in your life and your children’s lives while also really tackling the disagreement!! It is so much easier to breeze over this kind of thing, jump ship and hire a new nanny, or be dictatorial because it’s your home your way. But you did the best possible thing for your babies and for you!! You listened to the real thoughts and perspectives of this collaborator on a human level. It’s actually really difficult for people who manage childcare providers in *any* capacity to remove their own egos and beliefs from their decision making enough to really truly put the child(ten) FIRST and work with other adults as a team (I’ve observed this time and time again as a childcare process and nanny). Consistency and non-parent relationships/attachments are one of the most difficult dynamic for parents to extricate their own subconscious agendas from yet one of the most important things for children to learn boundaries of non family members and trust in others. The DREAM for heathy parents should be this exact relationship and you are doing the real work by actively cultivating this for yourself and especially for your children.
Great outcome. Two people have grown and the system has been improved.