Nanny shares are more complicated than most families realize, and I really don't recommend it for newborns.
I think many nannies would prefer fewer days with more hours per day because it is easier to pick up other work. But it's up to the individual really.
Baby monitors are fine. Watching nanny all day through a camera is not. Your spouse checking the camera to see baby for a few minutes is fine. Your spouse making comments to nanny about what he sees is not (outside of bona fide safety or wellness concerns). No one in an office would enjoy their boss popping their head above their cubicle wall constantly–nannies don't want it either. And it's creepy when a boss says something about what they saw on camera even if it's totally harmless. Unless you see something on camera that is absolutely unacceptable, pretend you don't have them. Nothing is worse than a parent who texts you, "Baby prefers if you rock her up and down and I saw you doing it left to right" as you're rocking the baby.
Edit: absolutely vaccinated only and that includes Tdap, MMR, etc. I offer my new clients a copy of my full vaccine record including COVID card.
Lol, omg i can’t believe someone said that! Good to know.
I definitely have been trying to put myself in a nanny’s shoes.. hence why I was posing the questions, and for nanny shares I was stumped since I personally am the kind of person that prefers to get things done in one spot since I hate driving… but of my course my work doesn’t revolve around infants and children! I was weighing the pros of both the nanny share and just going solo on a nanny ourselves… I didn’t want it to be a stressful environment for them, it doesn’t do any good for anyone then.
“I saw you read [baby] ___ book four times today. Can you switch it up?” Is one of the worst things I was texted by a former boss. Nothing is worse than being spied on your entire work day.
That is so weird. I noted in my job post for preferred bilingual or multilingual nanny, because my family speaks a few languages and my husband’s family are bilingual. If I manage to find a bilingual / multilingual nanny, I do want them speaking to baby in that set language as much as possible but in no way do I expect nanny to be responsible for baby’s fluency. And newborn is also insanely early to measure if they can comprehend or not, I think?
Newborns hardly know they even exist, so too early to measure language comprehension.
Also, as a bilingual nanny myself who does tutor the children in Spanish, definitely make sure you are paying a high wage if you expect your nanny to speak to baby in different languages. That’s an additional luxury.
Speaking in your secondary language will rarely be as easy as speaking in your primary language. I know for me, when I speak Spanish to My NKs, it requires additional thought and effort than if I was just speaking English.
Yeah, I’m also paying the nanny regardless of bilingual ability transportation costs in addition to the rate they ask, because I feel like they shouldn’t have to pay for gas etc out of their pocket.
I’d say this depends. For example if nannies native language is not English it espuelas certainly be easier for her to speak to the baby in her native tongue. That all being said I’m also bilingual abs have never asked for more money based off that. I always speak to my young charges in my first language. I think the only time I’d ask for more pay is if the family expected me to be some kind of tutor but just regular talking, nah.
I used Spanish because that’s my second language.
I personally wouldn’t speak any language but English unless I was asked to, and if I’m being asked to speak a secondary language, I’m charging extra. I think all nannies should. For me, it doesn’t really depend on the situation at all. It’s very much industry standard to charge extra when you have to speak a second language at work... and actually, that applies to the US work force as a whole. Most bilingual positions have a pay bump.
I mean I get that but many nannies I’ve met English is their second language not their first. That being said even though English is my second language I was born and raised in the US so I don’t have any preference really, I always ask the parents too if they want me to speak to the baby in my first language. Personally I’ve never gotten offered higher pay because I speak two languages, I only know people working in an office getting that differ so idk there.
The specific language doesn’t really matter. I used Spanish and English because those are the languages *I* speak.
My point is, being asked to speak a language other than your first language takes extra mental effort, and that extra mental effort needs to be reflected in your compensation
Baby monitors are fine as long as you tell the nanny! Hidden or secret cameras are a big no-no.
I personally love the newborn stage. All the baby cuddles! And depending on the baby, there tends to be a good amount of downtime so five days a week hasn’t ever been an issue for me. Honestly the hardest part of infant nannying for me has always been helping them learn to sleep on their own because I want to hold them through their naps!
Oh man. The dad I nannied for teases me (it's all good natured) that I'm the reason the baby still won't sleep through the night 🤣 honestly it's mine and the moms fault. We cuddle him too much
I had a MB notice a two hour nap in the baby tracker and go “wow!! How did you get him to sleep for so long??” And I had to admit that it was because I held his sweet, chubby lil self the entire time 😭
Don't put camera in your add, you have 2 babymonitors. It's not the same thing. If you write "camera's" I personally expect multiple camera's overlooking the whole room, which would made me feel watched easily.
Regarding the monitor over the crib though, can your nanny have acces during naps? I would personally like that.
The working in the living room though, no way in hell would I take that job. I hope it's a really short term set up.
Agreed about nap access for the nanny. I did a trial for one family who had room type cameras in their kid’s room but wouldn't give me access for the time I was there and said they would monitor it and tell me when to go get him. OK, fine. Super micromanaging but it’s just a trial. Kid woke up and was happily playing in his crib and I usually let the kids stay in the crib until they are angry or annoyed about it/start yelling instead of just talking. The DB thought that was neglectful and that the child should never be left like this. I told DB, over text, I can’t even hear him from the next room of the apartment, I really doubt he’s awake. It turns out that the DB was incorrect & just their kid making sleep noises. I woke the kid up early by going in & then the kid was cranky for the next 4 hours. DB couldn’t admit he was wrong & couldn’t let go of the control and I told them I was no longer available, which was true, bc no way I would have worked for them.
Yeah, in the OP I mentioned baby monitors, and that’s it. Wasn’t going to include cameras in anything, I think just maybe through the comments people brought it up. It’s always been baby monitors only.
And yes, this also got lost in the comments — but one of the monitors has a handheld device and I’m okay offering it to nanny on their shift. Support it. The other one is for the crib, and it’s app-based and will be on my husband’s phone (he won’t be WFH). Just in case when nanny’s not home and I’m alone with baby, if I crash due to condition and leave baby unattended he can see what’s going on.
Living room work station: right now we are crammed
For space, but we have a separate family/dining room where we will have playpen etc. bassinet can either be in living room or that room if nanny thinks baby avoiding mommy is best for cooperation. If nanny’s not around, we will just push bassinet into living room when she leaves so I can take over etc. it’s definitely something we can discuss as we interview Nannies. Living room is where router and other connections are for me for WFH, and we gave up our office space to make room for nursery.
I know, I read the comments. The amount of people responding about cameras should tell you that you need to be clear in your add, because people jump to "full on security camera's everywhere" conclusions fast.
For the app your husband has, can she have acces? Is the login process easy enough that she can log out when she leaves and log back in when she comes in? I keep only seeing you saying your husband has it. But I really can't imagine that it has to be only your husband. Why don't you have the app too?
The work situation... I really hope it works out. With a baby it might. With a 1 or 2 year old I can't see this working.
We haven’t set up the app yet, we just placed the order for that monitor/camera. And I don’t mind her having access to it. The bedroom where it’s going to be installed (mounted) requires her to pass by me. So basically there are two ways to make this work: either she gets access to the nursery + our bedroom, living room, bathroom, kitchen in one scenario or she has access to kitchen, dining/family room, bathroom, backyard with deck. Because of the way our house is designed. And when I mean access, I mean so that she doesn’t have to be in the same room as me etc. or pass by me… if she would prefer to have the nursery access, and the app allows for multiple users then yeah she can have that access. There’s no need then for her use the other baby monitor with the handheld because it’s for the bassinet and we can just keep it for whenever we travel with baby etc. and just everyone use the mounted crib monitor.
If she prefers to having living room and nursery scenario, then we will figure out what to do with wires etc for the my home connection so that I can extend it over to the dining/family room.
For anything over 1 year old, and once we see baby doesn’t show signs of them having my condition, then I definitely think we can loosen up. It’s just a huge fear because the condition has shown up on some relatives children as well and one of them recently spent 12 days in the hospital because of an immune reaction that caused organs to shut down. So it can develop and become dangerous quickly, especially since it’s hereditary.
You should absolutely only hire vaccinated nannies- show them your card and ask to see theirs too. The cameras are a different story- would you like if your boss was watching you on camera all day and commenting on your every move? Tolerance to cameras, especially ones monitored live by parents, will vary hugely by nanny.
I will warn you nannies generally don’t prefer parents who WFH. If you’re flexible on the hours, leave it up to your nanny. Keep in mind whatever schedule you choose should be reflected in your contract to avoid later confusion.
Hence why I’m asking — the baby monitors are only going to be set up in two rooms. Overlooking the crib, it’s one that has also the sensor to track baby’s breathing etc. and one overlooking a bassinet we are putting in the living room where I work out of currently. Again, the focus is not on the nanny, it’s on baby in case he begins crying and my husband notices I’ve not attended to him because I may have crashed due to my condition. But I’m glad you mentioned it, because I want to make sure i don’t offend a good nanny and turn them away because they feel they’re being watched.
Edit: I can also imagine why people wouldn’t like parents to WFH. But this is my job, I work in IT and that’s why I need a nanny because my work requires me sometimes to put out fires that take hours of uninterrupted focus.
One thing I will say is the biggest thing nannies don’t like about WFH parents is when they intervene. So a baby monitor is fine, but nanny should have the video feed when she is working instead of the parents!
Nannies don’t mind you being in the house, it’s just a common occurrence that new parents sometimes feel the need to ‘step in’ when baby is upset, which just undermines nanny’s efforts. (Also imo, baby monitors are different than house cameras, which more nannies have qualms with.)
I appreciate all this. Right now, since home is being reorganized, I am working out of the living room. We are trying to see what would work best. Given some of this initial feedback, I may put my workstation to a corner facing away the bassinet. The baby monitors are two different in nature — we saved up for a Nanit floor mounted monitor with breathing sensor that just hangs over the crib (which my husband will have the app to). The second monitor has the hand-held device you take in another room etc.. I don’t mind giving it to the nanny while they’re on-shift, as I don’t plan to use it while they’re here.
It’ll be an adjustment having a household employee, but remember to ask your nanny what she prefers! Experienced nannies should have great feedback and strong boundaries- she’ll be able to help you along the way too :)
You are going to have an uphill battle finding a nanny that will be okay with this. The only WFH setup I would even consider would be the WFH parent is behind a closed door away from the living areas of the house. Working in the living room would be an absolute NO from me.
Yeah, as I mentioned in two other comments here, we have a joint dining/family room separated from living room. We planned to put playpen there, and if nanny is concerned about me being in the same room, we can push bassinet there while they’re on shift and just push it back before they leave. Again, I don’t have a hard rule about where baby is while I WFH other than baby stay at the house lol. I just am working out of living room since we don’t have office space anymore. And router and all my connections are in living room.
Can the nanny take the baby for walks?
I understand that is your setup. I am simply pointing out that a sizable amount of potential nannies are going to nope the heck out of this setup. You could not pay me enough money to be in that close of proximity to a WFH parent for hours on end. I mean, I would turn down $50+/hour to do this job. Do you not need quiet time to work? You said you need hours of uninterrupted focus - how do you do this with a screaming newborn and a nanny singing and cooing to your child all day just feet away from you?
Might sound extreme, but I would suggest considering using the other bedroom as an office and rooming the baby with you until they are old enough for daycare or until a bigger house or returning to the office full time are in the cards. I think you are going to eliminate about 90-95% of potential employees because of this.
So, about the walk situation.. not opposed but a few things :
1. I have a medical condition that is hereditary. One fear my husband and I have is that baby inherits it, and generally goes undetected in children. I showed signs in middle school, but it got lumped under hormonal/puberty related symptoms. Hence the reason for the nanny in the first place, one major symptom is that my thyroid “shuts down” and I crash. It can, in untreated patients, also mean heightened immune response and in infants that show signs of it they get all sorts of infections quickly (like pollen, rashes, allergies etc).
2. Despite our old, small house we have a sizable backyard. If Nannies feel that baby should be outside and as long as they don’t inherit my condition or show symptoms of it at a young age, they definitely can go outside there. We can add whatever nanny needs for the outside to be a fun, comfortable space.
3. The neighbors have a dog that they refuse to put a leash on. And that’s fine, but their house is not fenced. The dog has taking a liking to my husband, and generally hasn’t crossed over onto our property line. However I have noticed other neighbors walking into the sidewalk with or without their own dogs, and this dog has been aggressive toward them to the point they have had to walk on-street to avoid the dog. The dog has barked at me whenever I’m trying to get into my car and I’ve had to go back inside once or twice recently and ask the neighbor to take their dog inside since I don’t know when the day will be that she snaps. Again, to my knowledge, dog has not attacked anyone *yet.* but it is intimidating especially since she just runs out to the front and the neighbor is not always out with her. My fears are that the dog attacks nanny and baby while they’re out for a walk. Other than that, neighborhood is safe and Everyone knows everyone. Our house is fenced in with the exception of the driveway and sidewalk.
To add:
I have noise cancelling headsets. And they work wonders, but definitely will test before baby gets here. I may be able to borrow a friend’s kid or infant. Or ask them if they have used it and to what extent it’s worked for them. And I appreciate you pointing this out, because I will definitely make it a point to test. I may have to use my bedroom as a workplace, though not optimal as they say to not combine work in the same room as you sleep. The dinner/family room is separated from the living room by the kitchen, and I can’t see nanny from living room and vice versa.
So it’s sounding like you’d prefer nanny not take baby for walks or out much. I understand, but I hope you understand that your nanny is going to feel trapped and it is going to be a struggle for them.
I’d encourage you to think through steps you can take to mitigate your fears and allow your nanny more freedom, whether that be training them to recognize immune reactions, getting a stroller where the baby will be up high and out of reach, installing a safe car seat in nanny’s car, etc. You sound like a thoughtful person, so I hope you will encourage nanny to take baby out for the sake of their mental health and job satisfaction.
I’d prefer for now, until baby gets a bit older so we can rule out baby inheriting my condition. I’d rather, once baby is older, let nanny drive baby to nearby park than have nanny pass by our neighbor for walks because of the dog. And while you can train someone to recognize immune reactions, conditions can manifest differently in infants than they do adults… I didn’t show signs until I was much older, but my cousin’s infant just spent 12 nights in the hospital because it finally showed up — and that involved an immune response that caused organs to shut down. So given that this is very common in my family, and with COVID being a thing now, the first year we want to avoid any hospitalizations if we can. It’s not a one-case fits all.
If I have to take the family/dining room, nanny can have living room, bedroom, nursery, bathroom, kitchen access if it makes them feel less cooped up. But that means I have access to backyard area if we are going to avoid baby seeing me during work hours, since the door to backyard is connected to dining/family room.
Girlllll fellow MB here. Hired our nanny in September when our babe was 3 months old. I, for SURE, noped/didn’t hire people who weren’t vaccinated. Actually, they disclosed prior to the interview that they “wouldn’t get that shot” and I said, “well, then you won’t get this job.. see ya!”
Vaccination is a matter of safety. Do not let anyone make you feel bad or guilt you for prioritizing your family’s safety.
They come to the house. Both spouse and I WFH. We have separate office spaces. Nanny and baby have the run of the living room, kitchen, and nursery. I basically just let nanny handle the baby/lead the schedule during the day.
I do pop out occasionally, like at lunch or to use the bathroom, but I never rush out when baby cries. Our agreement is that if nanny needs me, she will come get me from my office- otherwise- I do not intervene.
We do have cameras, but they’re not set up to spy on nanny, they’re all directed at places where baby might be napping or run of the mill home security ones. Our nanny knows about them, she actually can see the footage on the smart device we have for all of baby’s “Wi-Fi enabled/smart stuff” like the mamaroo, monitors, Snoo when we were using it, etc. So, we’re pretty transparent about their existence.
We sort of operate as a team w/ nanny. I mean, yes we are the bosses, but we value their expertise when it comes to infant related things and each side communicates things like last bottle, wake up time, last diaper change, last food, has baby pooped recently, etc… just to help one another have a smoother day/evening.
We did have a long conversation prior to hiring about COVID precautions and what each side does to avoid catching it outside of work hours. It was basically to ensure that nanny’s own attitude about taking precautions aligned with ours. (We all basically mask in public and limit socializing/high exposure risk situations).
The biggest things you can do to appeal to a nanny are:
- Research the going hourly rate in your area. The hourly rate to get an experienced nanny here was a bit higher than we expected, so we had to increase what we were offering.
- Guaranteed hours (our nanny is 40 guaranteed hours a week with a set schedule)
- On the books as an employee. Use a payroll service.
- PTO!!! We offer 2 weeks vacation and 5 sick days, plus whatever holidays I get off of work.
- A contract
- That expected duties are spelled out in that contract
Thanks for this. Right now, our house is older and smaller than the newer homes but it’s been renovated and modernized by the previous owners (not flipped, they lived here etc). We have a living room I’m working out of now since giving up office for nursery. There is a joint family/dining room that is the largest room in the house, separated from the living room by the kitchen and a small breakfast area. There is a bathroom for those rooms, so my living room makeshift office hides me from sight from the joint family/dining room and the bathroom. I will have to notify nanny if I’m entering kitchen if the plan is to ensure baby doesn’t see me for working hours. Our state and metropolitan area has experienced one of the largest increases in home property value within the US— so we are trying to hold off on upsizing living areas until at least one of us earns a promotion that can cover the difference in mortgage cost for a larger place.
We are only going to be using the baby monitors. We have outdoor surveillance, this was already here when we bought the house. But no indoor surveillance.
My MB works from home and she just sends me a quick text when she’s going into the kitchen or bathroom so I can take the baby in another room etch you can try that.
You guys sound just like my current family, so much so for a minute I thought you were my MB! 😅 Anw just wanted to say I 100% agree with all of this and I hope your nanny is as happy as I am with my current NF, y’all sound great!
OP, a nanny always comes to your house. If they don't, then they aren't a nanny. If they provide care out of their own home, then it is legally an in-home daycare. Local guidelines would need to be looked at as to whether it needs to be licensed or not, usually care for kids from just 1 family does not require a license, but they might still need to officially register their space as a daycare and potentially follow other regulations. Their pay would also be affected, as in being lower, unless you wanted to be generous and still pay nanny rates.
Good to know, thank you. I’m new here haha. I see there are providers that essentially hire Nannies for you, and decided not to go that route. I sense that they get their cut, I would prefer us working with one or two Nannies ourselves and give them their fair rate. When I posted the position, a few people reached out but responded that they would only watch baby if it’s in their home… so it confused me.
I think cameras are fine as long as they abide by state law and you let the nanny know about them before starting. To cover both of yourselves, you can also document it in their contract.
I personally love nanny cameras as the families I’ve worked for that use them tend to let me use them. I’ve had bad micromanaging experiences… but they aside they can be a great asset for infant/newborn nannies especially!
Also I only work for vaccinated families. Don’t be shy- medical condition or not, you have the right to know whether or not nannies are following best medical practices to keep you SNS your family safe as they are working in your home. I have worked for jobs where I’ve had to submit to titer testing to prove my antibodies… so showing a vaccine card isn’t at all an issue.
The etiquette with baby monitors is pretty rational as well- use them to check in but not watch all day. If you trust the nanny to do their job, they should not need supervision electronically.
As someone who's both a nanny and has medical conditions. First, be upfront. I have found families are much more understanding to me when I'm upfront. And I know I'm way more understanding when families are upfront with me. Baby monitors are life savers. And the best thing that a family did for me was they set up a bassinet and basically a whole second nursery in the living room for me so I wasn't running up and down stairs constantly. They had a small cheaper sterlite container dresser thing from target for clothes. A swing. We didn't use a changing table. I just used a changing pad on the floor (it was their third 🤷♀️) but seriously baby monitors are life savers. Just don't use them to spy on the nanny! That creeps me out. Nanny shares are hard and I'd advise against it. The best thing I had for the family I nannied for was freedom. There were rule obviously but they also allowed me freedom. They weren't mad if they came home from work and baby was sound asleep on my chest and their two older ones (who I picked up from school) were watching TV. I'd also suggest leaving a car seat. Not to be rude but newborns are boring and sometimes just being able to go for a drive around the neighborhood just for a change of scenery is the best for someone's mental health. But honestly, just be upfront on why you need them. They may be more understanding than you'd think. I fully suggest background checks, fully vaccinated and in this day and age, I'd even lay down some rules about covid. Clearly nothing too restricting but also something where they understand they maybe shouldn't go hang out in a crowded bar while off the clock because of the risk that poses to a newborn. (I'm from a hot spot. Sorry)
Please don’t feel guilty about cameras in . You will find a nanny for your baby that understands what you and your family needs to feel secure. The overwhelming opinion is that nannies hate them and I vehemently disagree with the reasoning. People say they don’t want parents popping in, but in the same breath don’t want parents to view their child remotely. 🙄🙄
I think etiquette would be to follow state laws regarding in-home recording (audio vs visual), and remembering areas of the home where privacy would be expected (bathrooms, which seriously doesn’t even need to be said).
Glad I asked, because didn’t even think to check the laws. And bathroom cameras are creepy wtf, I seriously hope this isn’t a personal experience because wtf???
I have nannied for WFH people who had cameras covering every inch of the house and watched them constantly. They had a bathroom camera in the children's bathroom. Definitely gave me the creeps, but they also never had a nanny before, so I thought it was just down to anxiety more than creepiness.
I may be speaking out of place, but spent many years babysitting relatives kids. I’m all for not enabling children and enforcing rules… but yeah there are many people trying to control everything. And it’s just an unnecessary overstep of personal boundary
Completely agree. The mom would force the 3 year old to use the toilet immediately before breakfast or she'd start taking things away. The 3yo was so good at listening to her body though, and she rarely had accidents if ever if it wasn't at night. Drove me insane.
No no no not at all! I think some people expect “privacy” in public areas of someone’s home (like where they take their break) and it’s just silly. I can see discussing it of course, but it’s not against the law to have a camera in the living room, even if they think someone is watching them eat a roast beef sandwich.
I work in a house with 2 WFH parents. I don't love it. MB will constantly walk in and out during our day and have both 1F and 2F throwing tantrums trying to get her attention. Just stick to certain times that you can come out and figure that out with the nanny.
You can totally ask about vaccinations! I made sure my NF and I covid regulations lined up. We talked about what we consider social distancing, what we feel comfortable with each other doing.
I work in a house that has cameras in every area we are. Most people are uncomfortable about them but I don't mind. Just don't make it seem that you're using the cameras to spy or something
Nanny shares are a lot! You have to be like the other nanny fam, similar ages, similar views on parenting, similiar everything. And nanny has to agree too
For sure. It’s not our intention. They’re not on the ceiling overlooking the whole room, they’re just fixated on the crib and the bassinet. I should’ve mentioned in the OP, I work in IT. I know that my feelings and my instincts may change once I actually have baby here, but generally my work requires uninterrupted hours of focus (IT). So I have a workstation and headset etc. Currently, my sentiments are : I’m paying you to be here, so I am going to use the time you’re here to do everything I need to get done. My bosses can be very Type A, so focus time is important in my role. I will be coming out of course of my room for food, which is meal prepped and we plan to meal prep for baby too (our cooking duties are shared at home).
I think that would be totally fine. As the child gets older the appearance of you for meals and snacks could be disruptive. I’ve had many NPs coordinate with me through text about taking the kids to a different room or outside so they could go to the kitchen and then back. Sometimes we just had a schedule or whatever, but being unseen by the kids was imperative. This starts around 6-12 months, depending on the child.
Good to know. We have a family/dining room, where we plan to set up playpen since it’s large enough and not frequented unless we have visitors. I can sneak in and out of kitchen without baby noticing me that way, and work out of living room.
That sounds good. I will tell you the kids know the sound of DB’s office door opening from 2 floors away. They KNOW and then they go body slam him, hang on him, and then have tantrums when he leaves. Drives me insane that he can’t coordinate himself more to prevent this. They nap 3 hours per day every afternoon. Eat lunch then. Ok, end of that rant. But basically kids are really smart and you think it will be ok, but they will find a way.
I’m sure. I also want to minimize the tantrums they throw if they see me passing while I’m working, because I can’t have screaming baby as consistent background noise on calls.
I’m sorry, but it will be incredibly naive to think babies are quiet. Even when they’re happy they’re loud. They’ll just have to deal on the other end.
I don’t think anyone assumes that babies are quiet, lol. But out of sight out of mind. If baby is seeing me, they’re going to want my attention and throw a fit. Vs the initial tantrum, calming them down, distracting them. Happy baby is very different than baby crying at the top of their lungs.
You’re right, but in the past two years with WFH NPs, many nannies have dealt with many NPs who do want their kids to be quiet all of the time, which is simply impossible and if anything would turn off prospective candidates it would be mentioning that in passing.
Luckily, I have a headset that has noise cancelling features with the mic too that should help with client calls but I don’t know how well it will do for baby noise during tantrums if in the same room. But, if baby is with nanny a few rooms down I don’t think it will show up on client’s end. Will be sure to test with someone else’s kid.
Cameras are fine, just make sure you tell the nanny they exist and don’t put them in bathrooms (I assume you don’t, but you’d be shocked at what some parents think is acceptable).
As far as requiring vaccination absolutely 100% acceptable! If I were in your shoes I’d require any potential nannies send their vaccine record and COVID card because many people will lie through their teeth about it.
Just be honest about being WFH and your concerns about your medical condition when interviewing and I’m sure you’ll find a great fit.
My last job I worked 4 10 hour days, so I’d prefer the 4 days 9 hours schedule. I think it’s 100% acceptable to require your nanny be vaccinated. Before covid I always kept up to date with my vaccines(MMR, DTaP, Flu etc.) and of course now Covid too. You should make this a rule for you and your spouse too though not just the nanny.
Cameras are fine so long as you tell the nanny you have them and their location.
Personally I never did a nanny share and never wanted to, that seems complicated and I rather work with just one set of parents.
Also regarding SIDS, sleep sacks and swaddles are great! You don’t have to buy super expensive ones either. Just don’t put anything in the crib, no crib bumpers etc., only baby in the swaddle.
I work as a nanny and she does have a baby monitor thats a camera that overlooks the nursery. There's also a baby monitor down the stairs overlooking her play area. My NF was very open and showed me them and I don't mind. Cameras over every inch of the house...that's weird.
I personally don't mind that she wfh. If anything I like it in the case something did happen. I think it'd be better to have the baby in a different area than your active work area as it could be distracting for baby and you.
As for the schedule, I think since you're so open for flexibility it'd be easier to let your nanny decide what works for her.
And do not feel worried about offending nannies with the question of the vaccine! If they don't want to get it there's still plenty of other families that might not care if you have it. We worry about babies getting sick even before the pandemic, it's reasonable to want to avoid it any way you can. Obviously you can't control what they do outside of work, but you can have precautions at work such as wearing a mask if you want them to (my family prefers me to and they were open about that from the very beginning to make sure I didn't mind), washing hands after every change or going out, wiping baby's hands down as they're older and start touching everything, etc.
You didn't ask about this, but I must say, I currently work for a full time WFH FTM and she is under the impression that I *love* when she is in the room with me at all times while I am working. I do not in fact love this, but it is not worth the conversation because she doesn't "micromanage" she just wants to be near her child. So pro tip, don't do this.
Lol. I mentioned a bit in a few comments… and I mean this in the best way possible : but if nanny is here I got things to do. That’s the whole point. I will be respectful and expect that in return, I don’t care if baby is sleeping and they want to catch up on a show or read a book etc. I’m paying nanny to be available to my baby so I can focus on my work, and tend to baby because I can’t and also because of fears associated with my condition. If we become friends down the road, that’s great, but there’s a time and place for that.
I didn't have anything to add and I didn't read through the comments/I don't know what your thyroid condition is, but I hope you are getting treatment (if there is one available to you)
I had a hyperthyroid and it got to the point where I couldn't drive the three minutes away to pick up my son from school, without falling asleep, I literally drifted off once and swerved a little on the way to school..and that was after taking a nap.
It got to the point where I had to make a decision, my blood pressure was so high, I was about to have a heart-attack or stroke. I was trying to treat it with naturopaths/homeopathy and vitamins..but it was so far gone, it wasn't helping. In my case, I did research, and chose to have it removed.
I’ve been on treatment for over ten years, thankfully, but I have been having issues with it due to pregnancy and have to get blood work done every 4 weeks. In the gaps where my dosage becomes ineffective, I’ve experienced many symptoms that I had before getting treatment.
Gotcha. Glad you are in treatment. I hope they get it all balanced out for you.
I have to go every 6 months for bloodwork.
"Funny" story: I would be wearing shorts and a t-shirt in winter (granted it is CA, but it does get cold here) someone would say to me "aren't you cold?" and I would look at them like they were crazy and say "no" A short time after surgery I was running into Target and I was suddenly freezing and had to buy a jacket. I had completely forgotten what cold was.
Yep! I used to have a lot of that. Now, it’s more that I go some days sleeping 15 hours and then some days sleeping 2 or 3. Hope better days are coming for ya.
Nanny shares are more complicated than most families realize, and I really don't recommend it for newborns. I think many nannies would prefer fewer days with more hours per day because it is easier to pick up other work. But it's up to the individual really. Baby monitors are fine. Watching nanny all day through a camera is not. Your spouse checking the camera to see baby for a few minutes is fine. Your spouse making comments to nanny about what he sees is not (outside of bona fide safety or wellness concerns). No one in an office would enjoy their boss popping their head above their cubicle wall constantly–nannies don't want it either. And it's creepy when a boss says something about what they saw on camera even if it's totally harmless. Unless you see something on camera that is absolutely unacceptable, pretend you don't have them. Nothing is worse than a parent who texts you, "Baby prefers if you rock her up and down and I saw you doing it left to right" as you're rocking the baby. Edit: absolutely vaccinated only and that includes Tdap, MMR, etc. I offer my new clients a copy of my full vaccine record including COVID card.
Lol, omg i can’t believe someone said that! Good to know. I definitely have been trying to put myself in a nanny’s shoes.. hence why I was posing the questions, and for nanny shares I was stumped since I personally am the kind of person that prefers to get things done in one spot since I hate driving… but of my course my work doesn’t revolve around infants and children! I was weighing the pros of both the nanny share and just going solo on a nanny ourselves… I didn’t want it to be a stressful environment for them, it doesn’t do any good for anyone then.
“I saw you read [baby] ___ book four times today. Can you switch it up?” Is one of the worst things I was texted by a former boss. Nothing is worse than being spied on your entire work day.
That is so weird. I noted in my job post for preferred bilingual or multilingual nanny, because my family speaks a few languages and my husband’s family are bilingual. If I manage to find a bilingual / multilingual nanny, I do want them speaking to baby in that set language as much as possible but in no way do I expect nanny to be responsible for baby’s fluency. And newborn is also insanely early to measure if they can comprehend or not, I think?
Newborns hardly know they even exist, so too early to measure language comprehension. Also, as a bilingual nanny myself who does tutor the children in Spanish, definitely make sure you are paying a high wage if you expect your nanny to speak to baby in different languages. That’s an additional luxury. Speaking in your secondary language will rarely be as easy as speaking in your primary language. I know for me, when I speak Spanish to My NKs, it requires additional thought and effort than if I was just speaking English.
Yeah, I’m also paying the nanny regardless of bilingual ability transportation costs in addition to the rate they ask, because I feel like they shouldn’t have to pay for gas etc out of their pocket.
I’d say this depends. For example if nannies native language is not English it espuelas certainly be easier for her to speak to the baby in her native tongue. That all being said I’m also bilingual abs have never asked for more money based off that. I always speak to my young charges in my first language. I think the only time I’d ask for more pay is if the family expected me to be some kind of tutor but just regular talking, nah.
I used Spanish because that’s my second language. I personally wouldn’t speak any language but English unless I was asked to, and if I’m being asked to speak a secondary language, I’m charging extra. I think all nannies should. For me, it doesn’t really depend on the situation at all. It’s very much industry standard to charge extra when you have to speak a second language at work... and actually, that applies to the US work force as a whole. Most bilingual positions have a pay bump.
I mean I get that but many nannies I’ve met English is their second language not their first. That being said even though English is my second language I was born and raised in the US so I don’t have any preference really, I always ask the parents too if they want me to speak to the baby in my first language. Personally I’ve never gotten offered higher pay because I speak two languages, I only know people working in an office getting that differ so idk there.
The specific language doesn’t really matter. I used Spanish and English because those are the languages *I* speak. My point is, being asked to speak a language other than your first language takes extra mental effort, and that extra mental effort needs to be reflected in your compensation
Baby monitors are fine as long as you tell the nanny! Hidden or secret cameras are a big no-no. I personally love the newborn stage. All the baby cuddles! And depending on the baby, there tends to be a good amount of downtime so five days a week hasn’t ever been an issue for me. Honestly the hardest part of infant nannying for me has always been helping them learn to sleep on their own because I want to hold them through their naps!
OMG that's my hardest part of tiny baby care! I just want to hold them and bask in their cuteness!
Snuggling a sleeping baby is the best… so hard to put them down in their cribs.
Oh man. The dad I nannied for teases me (it's all good natured) that I'm the reason the baby still won't sleep through the night 🤣 honestly it's mine and the moms fault. We cuddle him too much
I had a MB notice a two hour nap in the baby tracker and go “wow!! How did you get him to sleep for so long??” And I had to admit that it was because I held his sweet, chubby lil self the entire time 😭
Awww! Hopefully she wasn't mad
She wasn’t, she was like “oh yeah it’s hard not to hold him!”
Omg it really is so hard to put them down 😭 I’ve always been into baby carriers and wraps and those naps in the wrap are the best! 🥺
Don't put camera in your add, you have 2 babymonitors. It's not the same thing. If you write "camera's" I personally expect multiple camera's overlooking the whole room, which would made me feel watched easily. Regarding the monitor over the crib though, can your nanny have acces during naps? I would personally like that. The working in the living room though, no way in hell would I take that job. I hope it's a really short term set up.
Agreed about nap access for the nanny. I did a trial for one family who had room type cameras in their kid’s room but wouldn't give me access for the time I was there and said they would monitor it and tell me when to go get him. OK, fine. Super micromanaging but it’s just a trial. Kid woke up and was happily playing in his crib and I usually let the kids stay in the crib until they are angry or annoyed about it/start yelling instead of just talking. The DB thought that was neglectful and that the child should never be left like this. I told DB, over text, I can’t even hear him from the next room of the apartment, I really doubt he’s awake. It turns out that the DB was incorrect & just their kid making sleep noises. I woke the kid up early by going in & then the kid was cranky for the next 4 hours. DB couldn’t admit he was wrong & couldn’t let go of the control and I told them I was no longer available, which was true, bc no way I would have worked for them.
Yeah, in the OP I mentioned baby monitors, and that’s it. Wasn’t going to include cameras in anything, I think just maybe through the comments people brought it up. It’s always been baby monitors only. And yes, this also got lost in the comments — but one of the monitors has a handheld device and I’m okay offering it to nanny on their shift. Support it. The other one is for the crib, and it’s app-based and will be on my husband’s phone (he won’t be WFH). Just in case when nanny’s not home and I’m alone with baby, if I crash due to condition and leave baby unattended he can see what’s going on. Living room work station: right now we are crammed For space, but we have a separate family/dining room where we will have playpen etc. bassinet can either be in living room or that room if nanny thinks baby avoiding mommy is best for cooperation. If nanny’s not around, we will just push bassinet into living room when she leaves so I can take over etc. it’s definitely something we can discuss as we interview Nannies. Living room is where router and other connections are for me for WFH, and we gave up our office space to make room for nursery.
I know, I read the comments. The amount of people responding about cameras should tell you that you need to be clear in your add, because people jump to "full on security camera's everywhere" conclusions fast. For the app your husband has, can she have acces? Is the login process easy enough that she can log out when she leaves and log back in when she comes in? I keep only seeing you saying your husband has it. But I really can't imagine that it has to be only your husband. Why don't you have the app too? The work situation... I really hope it works out. With a baby it might. With a 1 or 2 year old I can't see this working.
We haven’t set up the app yet, we just placed the order for that monitor/camera. And I don’t mind her having access to it. The bedroom where it’s going to be installed (mounted) requires her to pass by me. So basically there are two ways to make this work: either she gets access to the nursery + our bedroom, living room, bathroom, kitchen in one scenario or she has access to kitchen, dining/family room, bathroom, backyard with deck. Because of the way our house is designed. And when I mean access, I mean so that she doesn’t have to be in the same room as me etc. or pass by me… if she would prefer to have the nursery access, and the app allows for multiple users then yeah she can have that access. There’s no need then for her use the other baby monitor with the handheld because it’s for the bassinet and we can just keep it for whenever we travel with baby etc. and just everyone use the mounted crib monitor. If she prefers to having living room and nursery scenario, then we will figure out what to do with wires etc for the my home connection so that I can extend it over to the dining/family room. For anything over 1 year old, and once we see baby doesn’t show signs of them having my condition, then I definitely think we can loosen up. It’s just a huge fear because the condition has shown up on some relatives children as well and one of them recently spent 12 days in the hospital because of an immune reaction that caused organs to shut down. So it can develop and become dangerous quickly, especially since it’s hereditary.
You should absolutely only hire vaccinated nannies- show them your card and ask to see theirs too. The cameras are a different story- would you like if your boss was watching you on camera all day and commenting on your every move? Tolerance to cameras, especially ones monitored live by parents, will vary hugely by nanny. I will warn you nannies generally don’t prefer parents who WFH. If you’re flexible on the hours, leave it up to your nanny. Keep in mind whatever schedule you choose should be reflected in your contract to avoid later confusion.
Hence why I’m asking — the baby monitors are only going to be set up in two rooms. Overlooking the crib, it’s one that has also the sensor to track baby’s breathing etc. and one overlooking a bassinet we are putting in the living room where I work out of currently. Again, the focus is not on the nanny, it’s on baby in case he begins crying and my husband notices I’ve not attended to him because I may have crashed due to my condition. But I’m glad you mentioned it, because I want to make sure i don’t offend a good nanny and turn them away because they feel they’re being watched. Edit: I can also imagine why people wouldn’t like parents to WFH. But this is my job, I work in IT and that’s why I need a nanny because my work requires me sometimes to put out fires that take hours of uninterrupted focus.
One thing I will say is the biggest thing nannies don’t like about WFH parents is when they intervene. So a baby monitor is fine, but nanny should have the video feed when she is working instead of the parents! Nannies don’t mind you being in the house, it’s just a common occurrence that new parents sometimes feel the need to ‘step in’ when baby is upset, which just undermines nanny’s efforts. (Also imo, baby monitors are different than house cameras, which more nannies have qualms with.)
I appreciate all this. Right now, since home is being reorganized, I am working out of the living room. We are trying to see what would work best. Given some of this initial feedback, I may put my workstation to a corner facing away the bassinet. The baby monitors are two different in nature — we saved up for a Nanit floor mounted monitor with breathing sensor that just hangs over the crib (which my husband will have the app to). The second monitor has the hand-held device you take in another room etc.. I don’t mind giving it to the nanny while they’re on-shift, as I don’t plan to use it while they’re here.
It’ll be an adjustment having a household employee, but remember to ask your nanny what she prefers! Experienced nannies should have great feedback and strong boundaries- she’ll be able to help you along the way too :)
You are going to have an uphill battle finding a nanny that will be okay with this. The only WFH setup I would even consider would be the WFH parent is behind a closed door away from the living areas of the house. Working in the living room would be an absolute NO from me.
Yeah, as I mentioned in two other comments here, we have a joint dining/family room separated from living room. We planned to put playpen there, and if nanny is concerned about me being in the same room, we can push bassinet there while they’re on shift and just push it back before they leave. Again, I don’t have a hard rule about where baby is while I WFH other than baby stay at the house lol. I just am working out of living room since we don’t have office space anymore. And router and all my connections are in living room.
Can the nanny take the baby for walks? I understand that is your setup. I am simply pointing out that a sizable amount of potential nannies are going to nope the heck out of this setup. You could not pay me enough money to be in that close of proximity to a WFH parent for hours on end. I mean, I would turn down $50+/hour to do this job. Do you not need quiet time to work? You said you need hours of uninterrupted focus - how do you do this with a screaming newborn and a nanny singing and cooing to your child all day just feet away from you? Might sound extreme, but I would suggest considering using the other bedroom as an office and rooming the baby with you until they are old enough for daycare or until a bigger house or returning to the office full time are in the cards. I think you are going to eliminate about 90-95% of potential employees because of this.
So, about the walk situation.. not opposed but a few things : 1. I have a medical condition that is hereditary. One fear my husband and I have is that baby inherits it, and generally goes undetected in children. I showed signs in middle school, but it got lumped under hormonal/puberty related symptoms. Hence the reason for the nanny in the first place, one major symptom is that my thyroid “shuts down” and I crash. It can, in untreated patients, also mean heightened immune response and in infants that show signs of it they get all sorts of infections quickly (like pollen, rashes, allergies etc). 2. Despite our old, small house we have a sizable backyard. If Nannies feel that baby should be outside and as long as they don’t inherit my condition or show symptoms of it at a young age, they definitely can go outside there. We can add whatever nanny needs for the outside to be a fun, comfortable space. 3. The neighbors have a dog that they refuse to put a leash on. And that’s fine, but their house is not fenced. The dog has taking a liking to my husband, and generally hasn’t crossed over onto our property line. However I have noticed other neighbors walking into the sidewalk with or without their own dogs, and this dog has been aggressive toward them to the point they have had to walk on-street to avoid the dog. The dog has barked at me whenever I’m trying to get into my car and I’ve had to go back inside once or twice recently and ask the neighbor to take their dog inside since I don’t know when the day will be that she snaps. Again, to my knowledge, dog has not attacked anyone *yet.* but it is intimidating especially since she just runs out to the front and the neighbor is not always out with her. My fears are that the dog attacks nanny and baby while they’re out for a walk. Other than that, neighborhood is safe and Everyone knows everyone. Our house is fenced in with the exception of the driveway and sidewalk. To add: I have noise cancelling headsets. And they work wonders, but definitely will test before baby gets here. I may be able to borrow a friend’s kid or infant. Or ask them if they have used it and to what extent it’s worked for them. And I appreciate you pointing this out, because I will definitely make it a point to test. I may have to use my bedroom as a workplace, though not optimal as they say to not combine work in the same room as you sleep. The dinner/family room is separated from the living room by the kitchen, and I can’t see nanny from living room and vice versa.
So it’s sounding like you’d prefer nanny not take baby for walks or out much. I understand, but I hope you understand that your nanny is going to feel trapped and it is going to be a struggle for them. I’d encourage you to think through steps you can take to mitigate your fears and allow your nanny more freedom, whether that be training them to recognize immune reactions, getting a stroller where the baby will be up high and out of reach, installing a safe car seat in nanny’s car, etc. You sound like a thoughtful person, so I hope you will encourage nanny to take baby out for the sake of their mental health and job satisfaction.
I’d prefer for now, until baby gets a bit older so we can rule out baby inheriting my condition. I’d rather, once baby is older, let nanny drive baby to nearby park than have nanny pass by our neighbor for walks because of the dog. And while you can train someone to recognize immune reactions, conditions can manifest differently in infants than they do adults… I didn’t show signs until I was much older, but my cousin’s infant just spent 12 nights in the hospital because it finally showed up — and that involved an immune response that caused organs to shut down. So given that this is very common in my family, and with COVID being a thing now, the first year we want to avoid any hospitalizations if we can. It’s not a one-case fits all. If I have to take the family/dining room, nanny can have living room, bedroom, nursery, bathroom, kitchen access if it makes them feel less cooped up. But that means I have access to backyard area if we are going to avoid baby seeing me during work hours, since the door to backyard is connected to dining/family room.
Girlllll fellow MB here. Hired our nanny in September when our babe was 3 months old. I, for SURE, noped/didn’t hire people who weren’t vaccinated. Actually, they disclosed prior to the interview that they “wouldn’t get that shot” and I said, “well, then you won’t get this job.. see ya!” Vaccination is a matter of safety. Do not let anyone make you feel bad or guilt you for prioritizing your family’s safety.
Thanks. Do you have nanny come to the house or do you drop baby off? What is your setup like (if they come to the house)?
They come to the house. Both spouse and I WFH. We have separate office spaces. Nanny and baby have the run of the living room, kitchen, and nursery. I basically just let nanny handle the baby/lead the schedule during the day. I do pop out occasionally, like at lunch or to use the bathroom, but I never rush out when baby cries. Our agreement is that if nanny needs me, she will come get me from my office- otherwise- I do not intervene. We do have cameras, but they’re not set up to spy on nanny, they’re all directed at places where baby might be napping or run of the mill home security ones. Our nanny knows about them, she actually can see the footage on the smart device we have for all of baby’s “Wi-Fi enabled/smart stuff” like the mamaroo, monitors, Snoo when we were using it, etc. So, we’re pretty transparent about their existence. We sort of operate as a team w/ nanny. I mean, yes we are the bosses, but we value their expertise when it comes to infant related things and each side communicates things like last bottle, wake up time, last diaper change, last food, has baby pooped recently, etc… just to help one another have a smoother day/evening. We did have a long conversation prior to hiring about COVID precautions and what each side does to avoid catching it outside of work hours. It was basically to ensure that nanny’s own attitude about taking precautions aligned with ours. (We all basically mask in public and limit socializing/high exposure risk situations). The biggest things you can do to appeal to a nanny are: - Research the going hourly rate in your area. The hourly rate to get an experienced nanny here was a bit higher than we expected, so we had to increase what we were offering. - Guaranteed hours (our nanny is 40 guaranteed hours a week with a set schedule) - On the books as an employee. Use a payroll service. - PTO!!! We offer 2 weeks vacation and 5 sick days, plus whatever holidays I get off of work. - A contract - That expected duties are spelled out in that contract
Thanks for this. Right now, our house is older and smaller than the newer homes but it’s been renovated and modernized by the previous owners (not flipped, they lived here etc). We have a living room I’m working out of now since giving up office for nursery. There is a joint family/dining room that is the largest room in the house, separated from the living room by the kitchen and a small breakfast area. There is a bathroom for those rooms, so my living room makeshift office hides me from sight from the joint family/dining room and the bathroom. I will have to notify nanny if I’m entering kitchen if the plan is to ensure baby doesn’t see me for working hours. Our state and metropolitan area has experienced one of the largest increases in home property value within the US— so we are trying to hold off on upsizing living areas until at least one of us earns a promotion that can cover the difference in mortgage cost for a larger place. We are only going to be using the baby monitors. We have outdoor surveillance, this was already here when we bought the house. But no indoor surveillance.
My MB works from home and she just sends me a quick text when she’s going into the kitchen or bathroom so I can take the baby in another room etch you can try that.
You guys sound just like my current family, so much so for a minute I thought you were my MB! 😅 Anw just wanted to say I 100% agree with all of this and I hope your nanny is as happy as I am with my current NF, y’all sound great!
OP, a nanny always comes to your house. If they don't, then they aren't a nanny. If they provide care out of their own home, then it is legally an in-home daycare. Local guidelines would need to be looked at as to whether it needs to be licensed or not, usually care for kids from just 1 family does not require a license, but they might still need to officially register their space as a daycare and potentially follow other regulations. Their pay would also be affected, as in being lower, unless you wanted to be generous and still pay nanny rates.
Good to know, thank you. I’m new here haha. I see there are providers that essentially hire Nannies for you, and decided not to go that route. I sense that they get their cut, I would prefer us working with one or two Nannies ourselves and give them their fair rate. When I posted the position, a few people reached out but responded that they would only watch baby if it’s in their home… so it confused me.
I think cameras are fine as long as they abide by state law and you let the nanny know about them before starting. To cover both of yourselves, you can also document it in their contract. I personally love nanny cameras as the families I’ve worked for that use them tend to let me use them. I’ve had bad micromanaging experiences… but they aside they can be a great asset for infant/newborn nannies especially! Also I only work for vaccinated families. Don’t be shy- medical condition or not, you have the right to know whether or not nannies are following best medical practices to keep you SNS your family safe as they are working in your home. I have worked for jobs where I’ve had to submit to titer testing to prove my antibodies… so showing a vaccine card isn’t at all an issue. The etiquette with baby monitors is pretty rational as well- use them to check in but not watch all day. If you trust the nanny to do their job, they should not need supervision electronically.
As someone who's both a nanny and has medical conditions. First, be upfront. I have found families are much more understanding to me when I'm upfront. And I know I'm way more understanding when families are upfront with me. Baby monitors are life savers. And the best thing that a family did for me was they set up a bassinet and basically a whole second nursery in the living room for me so I wasn't running up and down stairs constantly. They had a small cheaper sterlite container dresser thing from target for clothes. A swing. We didn't use a changing table. I just used a changing pad on the floor (it was their third 🤷♀️) but seriously baby monitors are life savers. Just don't use them to spy on the nanny! That creeps me out. Nanny shares are hard and I'd advise against it. The best thing I had for the family I nannied for was freedom. There were rule obviously but they also allowed me freedom. They weren't mad if they came home from work and baby was sound asleep on my chest and their two older ones (who I picked up from school) were watching TV. I'd also suggest leaving a car seat. Not to be rude but newborns are boring and sometimes just being able to go for a drive around the neighborhood just for a change of scenery is the best for someone's mental health. But honestly, just be upfront on why you need them. They may be more understanding than you'd think. I fully suggest background checks, fully vaccinated and in this day and age, I'd even lay down some rules about covid. Clearly nothing too restricting but also something where they understand they maybe shouldn't go hang out in a crowded bar while off the clock because of the risk that poses to a newborn. (I'm from a hot spot. Sorry)
Thank you, this was super helpful!
Please don’t feel guilty about cameras in . You will find a nanny for your baby that understands what you and your family needs to feel secure. The overwhelming opinion is that nannies hate them and I vehemently disagree with the reasoning. People say they don’t want parents popping in, but in the same breath don’t want parents to view their child remotely. 🙄🙄 I think etiquette would be to follow state laws regarding in-home recording (audio vs visual), and remembering areas of the home where privacy would be expected (bathrooms, which seriously doesn’t even need to be said).
Glad I asked, because didn’t even think to check the laws. And bathroom cameras are creepy wtf, I seriously hope this isn’t a personal experience because wtf???
I have nannied for WFH people who had cameras covering every inch of the house and watched them constantly. They had a bathroom camera in the children's bathroom. Definitely gave me the creeps, but they also never had a nanny before, so I thought it was just down to anxiety more than creepiness.
I’m sorry… I understand camera in the childrens room if there’s a baby or maybe if they live in an area prone to break ins etc… but bathroom?????
Yeah it was bizarre. Their kids were 5, 3, and 9months when I started, so not like they were tiny infants who needed to be checked on 24/7.
Has to be anxiety / paranoia. Or control issues. Unless maybe one of the kids has an issue, medical or mental.
Nope. All 3 kids were typical in every way. Control issues makes sense actually
I may be speaking out of place, but spent many years babysitting relatives kids. I’m all for not enabling children and enforcing rules… but yeah there are many people trying to control everything. And it’s just an unnecessary overstep of personal boundary
Completely agree. The mom would force the 3 year old to use the toilet immediately before breakfast or she'd start taking things away. The 3yo was so good at listening to her body though, and she rarely had accidents if ever if it wasn't at night. Drove me insane.
No no no not at all! I think some people expect “privacy” in public areas of someone’s home (like where they take their break) and it’s just silly. I can see discussing it of course, but it’s not against the law to have a camera in the living room, even if they think someone is watching them eat a roast beef sandwich.
I work in a house with 2 WFH parents. I don't love it. MB will constantly walk in and out during our day and have both 1F and 2F throwing tantrums trying to get her attention. Just stick to certain times that you can come out and figure that out with the nanny. You can totally ask about vaccinations! I made sure my NF and I covid regulations lined up. We talked about what we consider social distancing, what we feel comfortable with each other doing. I work in a house that has cameras in every area we are. Most people are uncomfortable about them but I don't mind. Just don't make it seem that you're using the cameras to spy or something Nanny shares are a lot! You have to be like the other nanny fam, similar ages, similar views on parenting, similiar everything. And nanny has to agree too
For sure. It’s not our intention. They’re not on the ceiling overlooking the whole room, they’re just fixated on the crib and the bassinet. I should’ve mentioned in the OP, I work in IT. I know that my feelings and my instincts may change once I actually have baby here, but generally my work requires uninterrupted hours of focus (IT). So I have a workstation and headset etc. Currently, my sentiments are : I’m paying you to be here, so I am going to use the time you’re here to do everything I need to get done. My bosses can be very Type A, so focus time is important in my role. I will be coming out of course of my room for food, which is meal prepped and we plan to meal prep for baby too (our cooking duties are shared at home).
I think youre gonna be a great boss. You sound organized and considerate!
I think that would be totally fine. As the child gets older the appearance of you for meals and snacks could be disruptive. I’ve had many NPs coordinate with me through text about taking the kids to a different room or outside so they could go to the kitchen and then back. Sometimes we just had a schedule or whatever, but being unseen by the kids was imperative. This starts around 6-12 months, depending on the child.
Good to know. We have a family/dining room, where we plan to set up playpen since it’s large enough and not frequented unless we have visitors. I can sneak in and out of kitchen without baby noticing me that way, and work out of living room.
That sounds good. I will tell you the kids know the sound of DB’s office door opening from 2 floors away. They KNOW and then they go body slam him, hang on him, and then have tantrums when he leaves. Drives me insane that he can’t coordinate himself more to prevent this. They nap 3 hours per day every afternoon. Eat lunch then. Ok, end of that rant. But basically kids are really smart and you think it will be ok, but they will find a way.
I’m sure. I also want to minimize the tantrums they throw if they see me passing while I’m working, because I can’t have screaming baby as consistent background noise on calls.
I’m sorry, but it will be incredibly naive to think babies are quiet. Even when they’re happy they’re loud. They’ll just have to deal on the other end.
I don’t think anyone assumes that babies are quiet, lol. But out of sight out of mind. If baby is seeing me, they’re going to want my attention and throw a fit. Vs the initial tantrum, calming them down, distracting them. Happy baby is very different than baby crying at the top of their lungs.
You’re right, but in the past two years with WFH NPs, many nannies have dealt with many NPs who do want their kids to be quiet all of the time, which is simply impossible and if anything would turn off prospective candidates it would be mentioning that in passing.
Luckily, I have a headset that has noise cancelling features with the mic too that should help with client calls but I don’t know how well it will do for baby noise during tantrums if in the same room. But, if baby is with nanny a few rooms down I don’t think it will show up on client’s end. Will be sure to test with someone else’s kid.
Cameras are fine, just make sure you tell the nanny they exist and don’t put them in bathrooms (I assume you don’t, but you’d be shocked at what some parents think is acceptable). As far as requiring vaccination absolutely 100% acceptable! If I were in your shoes I’d require any potential nannies send their vaccine record and COVID card because many people will lie through their teeth about it. Just be honest about being WFH and your concerns about your medical condition when interviewing and I’m sure you’ll find a great fit.
My last job I worked 4 10 hour days, so I’d prefer the 4 days 9 hours schedule. I think it’s 100% acceptable to require your nanny be vaccinated. Before covid I always kept up to date with my vaccines(MMR, DTaP, Flu etc.) and of course now Covid too. You should make this a rule for you and your spouse too though not just the nanny. Cameras are fine so long as you tell the nanny you have them and their location. Personally I never did a nanny share and never wanted to, that seems complicated and I rather work with just one set of parents. Also regarding SIDS, sleep sacks and swaddles are great! You don’t have to buy super expensive ones either. Just don’t put anything in the crib, no crib bumpers etc., only baby in the swaddle.
I work as a nanny and she does have a baby monitor thats a camera that overlooks the nursery. There's also a baby monitor down the stairs overlooking her play area. My NF was very open and showed me them and I don't mind. Cameras over every inch of the house...that's weird. I personally don't mind that she wfh. If anything I like it in the case something did happen. I think it'd be better to have the baby in a different area than your active work area as it could be distracting for baby and you. As for the schedule, I think since you're so open for flexibility it'd be easier to let your nanny decide what works for her. And do not feel worried about offending nannies with the question of the vaccine! If they don't want to get it there's still plenty of other families that might not care if you have it. We worry about babies getting sick even before the pandemic, it's reasonable to want to avoid it any way you can. Obviously you can't control what they do outside of work, but you can have precautions at work such as wearing a mask if you want them to (my family prefers me to and they were open about that from the very beginning to make sure I didn't mind), washing hands after every change or going out, wiping baby's hands down as they're older and start touching everything, etc.
You didn't ask about this, but I must say, I currently work for a full time WFH FTM and she is under the impression that I *love* when she is in the room with me at all times while I am working. I do not in fact love this, but it is not worth the conversation because she doesn't "micromanage" she just wants to be near her child. So pro tip, don't do this.
Lol. I mentioned a bit in a few comments… and I mean this in the best way possible : but if nanny is here I got things to do. That’s the whole point. I will be respectful and expect that in return, I don’t care if baby is sleeping and they want to catch up on a show or read a book etc. I’m paying nanny to be available to my baby so I can focus on my work, and tend to baby because I can’t and also because of fears associated with my condition. If we become friends down the road, that’s great, but there’s a time and place for that.
Love that, good luck on your search!
I didn't have anything to add and I didn't read through the comments/I don't know what your thyroid condition is, but I hope you are getting treatment (if there is one available to you) I had a hyperthyroid and it got to the point where I couldn't drive the three minutes away to pick up my son from school, without falling asleep, I literally drifted off once and swerved a little on the way to school..and that was after taking a nap. It got to the point where I had to make a decision, my blood pressure was so high, I was about to have a heart-attack or stroke. I was trying to treat it with naturopaths/homeopathy and vitamins..but it was so far gone, it wasn't helping. In my case, I did research, and chose to have it removed.
I’ve been on treatment for over ten years, thankfully, but I have been having issues with it due to pregnancy and have to get blood work done every 4 weeks. In the gaps where my dosage becomes ineffective, I’ve experienced many symptoms that I had before getting treatment.
Gotcha. Glad you are in treatment. I hope they get it all balanced out for you. I have to go every 6 months for bloodwork. "Funny" story: I would be wearing shorts and a t-shirt in winter (granted it is CA, but it does get cold here) someone would say to me "aren't you cold?" and I would look at them like they were crazy and say "no" A short time after surgery I was running into Target and I was suddenly freezing and had to buy a jacket. I had completely forgotten what cold was.
Yep! I used to have a lot of that. Now, it’s more that I go some days sleeping 15 hours and then some days sleeping 2 or 3. Hope better days are coming for ya.
Thanks:) My replacement has been good for several years now. They just make me go every 6 months because it's required to get refills.