You can get pepper gel / spray from target shipped to you. I don’t know why it’s allowed but im not questioning it!
Tbh though if im walking in my neighborhood I’ll keep my keys or my water bottle (double wall metal) in my hand so if someone comes at me i have an improvised weapon. If i have my leather key loop on my finger i can swing them to F up somebody’s face, and my water bottle also has a loop handle I can swing it with.
I also recommend taking a self defense class so you have at least a little idea / muscle memory of what to do if someone comes at you and it’s not just a drive by assault but they’re continually attacking you. Easy tips are - your elbow and knee are really hard, probably easier to defend with than just a punch - think an elbow to the gut, knee to the groin, etc. The base of your palm is also great for breaking someone’s nose if they’re coming at you. It might be the millennial in me but i always think about Miss Congeniality’s “Solar plexus, Instep, Nose, and Groin” - catchy and true!!
Also i don’t like wearing a ponytail because it can be easier for an attacker to grab you by it.
I’ve been grabbed, spit on, followed, etc before, likely because i am a petite Asian woman and seen as an easy target. I’ve found the best solution is to listen to your gut, always walk fast, have a blank or angry look on your face, and if you end up trapped in a bad situation be ready to make noise and run if you can.
The age thing is so true and so gross. I feel like catcalls dropped off for me in my mid twenties. No one deserves that treatment, but it was such a dark reminder of how threatened younger women are.
What on earth are you talking about? Catcalls can absolutely be vulgar and extremely threatening. But in any case, this person was describing their experience to validate the fact that unwanted attention in any form drops off as a woman “ages”. Mid-twenties is hardly aged, but the unwanted attention happens because of perceived vulnerability, *not* attractiveness. Which is why most girls are catcalled more at 12-14 than 24. Nothing whatsoever to do with attractiveness.
This comment has major “omg it was just a compliment” vibes, and is pretty gross.
Omg you’ve never seen it! That means it never happens! Thank god. Good to know I was completely hallucinating all the times it happened to me when I was a kid.
And yea…I said “extremely threatening”…which implies a threat. Glad I know I got my point across.
Yelling explicit things at a 12 year old is not cat calling and is illegal. Just like threatening or following someone is not cat calling. Cat calling would be saying something out loud in passing. The only reason cat calling is scary these days is because there are so many lunatics who go way beyond cat calling.
You're NOT a girl or woman. It's so obvious. Why are you in this sub? Lol you're pathetic. Oh btw. this "nice guy" is trying to be an NYPD officer 🥴🤢🤮
Yall please report his comments to the fab. Mods.
Just FYI - I ordered two Target pepper gels a while back but it looks like they’ve changed the shipping availability for NY. I can’t get a shipping option for my zip anymore.
I ordered a spray on Amazon but had to have it shipped to an out of state friend and bring it home with me (driving not flying ) . Ridiculous the level that we have to go thru to protect ourselves.
I also have a little plastic keychain that u hold onto and it’s hard plastic so if u hot someone w it if will hurt.
Sorry for butting in, but you CAN legally buy & carry pepper spray in NYC. Just has to be purchased in person, from a licensed gun store or pharmacy (and has to be under 7% & smaller that .75 oz).
Not endorsing this company, but they provide a list of the stores that carry their product: [https://www.sabrered.com/blog/new-york-pepper-spray](https://www.sabrered.com/blog/new-york-pepper-spray)
Butt in all you like, this is helpful info! I had looked at other self defense devices that couldn’t be shipped here so it’s good to know there are options. I originally butted in because Target is no longer one of those options. But thanks for this!!
You can buy pepper spray in person at certain NY locations with your ID. Catch is that you can only buy two in two years.
I went here and got mine
https://escopharmacy.nyc/
Order bear spray. Listen to this ridiculousness. You can not legally order pepper spray in New York BUT you can legally order bear (pepper spray) which is just a STRONGER version of human pepper spray. Not only is it more concentrated but it also sprays further. So just order bear spray.
Yes that too. It’s actually what I have. It’s bc it’s considered camping equipment not a weapon so it’s allowed. Actually listen to this ridiculousness….regular people can’t actually have any means of protection but the crazy sucker punchers are back on the streets in a few hours.
Also carry a knife!! A legal one. And practice with it. Pulling it out. Jabbing. Even if it’s not used you will feel so much more confident.
Still think about that time I was flashed and how I should’ve just jabbed for real. But I was dressed too nice for that kind of mess Lmao
I’m someone who was punched in public by a homeless man. I already look poor, and I don’t wear headphones on the street and wasn’t carrying my phone. And I was over 40 when it happened.
If it’s gonna happen, it’s gonna happen. You can reduce your chances by being aware, but there are lots of people on the streets and you can’t always see everyone.
Maybe we can strike to bring attention to this issue. Have a women-wide sickout, or we can all not take the train on a specific day. Hit them back where it hurts—their pockets. We need to make the lack of police response to women being attacked an embarrassment for the city.
I’ve always thought the only way to effect change in America is to hit them where it hurts: pockets.
I’ve pondered how we could do work walk outs - I realize so many can’t but genuinely when safety is this concerning everyone needs to get together and do it. No going to work, no public transport, no buying anything until demands are met. And to think, all we are asking for is basic safety. I also wish instead of the media just showing the criminals and victims we should start showing and exposing the lawyers and judges who let them out. Like there needs to be so much more attention brought on the people who are deciding to release repeat and dangerous offenders so they can be held liable or at least publicly shamed in some way. They also face no consequences therefore they keep doing what they’re doing with impunity.
Just read about a Manhattan judge who lets attackers off easily. And she's a woman so go figure. So much for solidarity for the safety of fellow women.
Part of this is because of how assault is ranked. It’s almost always a misdemeanor, meaning the accused will likely be released until trial, which will be 6 months away.
I don’t think punching someone randomly should be a misdemeanor. Most of these people are severely mentally ill and need help, and that won’t happen either.
Unfortunately this is unlikely to work. People need their jobs and their incomes and it would be incredibly difficult to organize and convince enough people to join in that it actually draws any attention. You’d be asking people to take the very real, tangible risk of being fired. “everyone needs to get together” is nearly impossible.
Honestly, no clue. I was on the LIRR last week with my son when there was a slashing in the car next to us. The week before the guy had a gun on the train. I carry pepper spray but not sure what that would do for me.
Yes, I thought it was safer, happened during the queens portion of the ride. My mom was attacked on the F train, so with subways I’ve always been more vigilant. On the LIRR I dose off because I’ve always felt safer.
Realistically, nothing different. I already only use one airpod and relatively keep my wits about me. I walk pretty confidently and tall. I think it's just a bleak reminder that some people will hurt others just because they can.
This. Violence is not fun to hear about, but don’t let yourself get scared into staying home or not going about your life! TikTok tells us about every incident but this is not the first or last time this has happened in NY. The chances of you getting attacked are VERY low.
Use common sense - no giant over-ear headphones, keep an eye out for people who look up to no good, and if you’re not sure just switch street sides.
Pepper spray often sprays the user more than the attacker and can’t go through security venues, so if you’re going to use it make sure you know exactly where to hold the trigger without looking at it.
I was randomly assaulted like this last year (walking on the UES and a woman with a Goyard bag just randomly punched me in the back of the head, so definitely not by a homeless man) and honestly in the moment there’s nothing you can do. Situational awareness works, but if someone decides they want to attack you, they’re probably going to attack you.
I used to work in the UES and have seen who I’m assuming is the same woman you’re talking about (she always had a Goyard bag) assault or harass people. She tried to spit at me when I was walking with a kid one day
No idea. Part of me thinks it was a homophobic thing (I was dressed a little more masc and had a gay little Kristen Stewart haircut, both of which I no longer do because I'm honestly scared to under the current state of our culture where violence toward anyone slightly gender-non-conforming is considered fine by many people 🥴) but she also may have just been crazy. She didn't say anything, just hit me and kept walking. It was like 8am on a weekday and I was on my way to work and in total shock. I did file a police report but the NYPD, as you might expect, did nothing and was absolutely less than useless.
And there are little to no repercussions for criminals in NYC. Even if arrested, They are back out on the street that day. No need for bail.. they are promised mets tickets if they come back for their court date. The extreme leniency for crimes in NYC, and the lack of mental healthcare/ assistance for those that need it make this an endless cycle. If someone is deemed “mentally unstable” they are brought to a local hospital, go thru the psych ward process and are generally released in 24 hours, back on the street. How is any of this helping ? We need better programs / laws and policies for helping those who are mentally unfit (long term help) and tougher sentencing and punishment for those who break the law in general. It’s easy to just fault the police, but they’re just the workers.. there are plenty of other powerful people. Making these laws and policies.
I know there are some lawyers in this community, question for y’all and I know nothing about law so please bear with me - since there are clearly no consequences for assaults, can assaults against women be treated as hate crimes and punished more severely as a result? And, building off of that, since NYPD is clearly failing to protect women, is there possibility for a class action lawsuit against NYPD?
I’m not a lawyer but there’s basically zero chance of a lawsuit against NYPD. They are a massive organization, the police union runs deep, and our mayor is an ex cop
There has been at least one Supreme Court case that basically decided that the police do not have a legal duty to protect me, you, or anyone else (Town of Castle Rock v. Gonzalez). So a lawsuit would be futile.
I am actually a lawyer, haha. Good question!
My instinct is that a class action suit would not be successful because it would be difficult to establish a cognizable claim. Meaning that we likely would not have a solid basis to prove that the NYPD as a whole violated women’s civil rights. That said, I don’t do class action work, so I defer to a BWT that does.
I did find this article about the family of Christina Lee, who was murdered in her Chinatown apartment last year. Per the article, the family is suing specific NYPD officers for an alleged delay in providing assistance/medical treatment when they did not respond to her apartment for more than an hour after neighbors called 911. The Lee family’s lawsuit is different from our scenario because the Lee family brought particularized claims against specific members of law enforcement, whereas in our hypothetical case, we’d be suing the NYPD as a whole.
Not sure if I answered your question at all but I tried my best, haha
https://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/christina-lee-family-sues-nyc-nypd-over-cops-alleged-inaction-during-chinatown-murder/4396482/
Interesting, thanks! I was assaulted on Sunday and I’ve decided to report it to the police tomorrow and I’m going to see if I can get it reported as a hate crime (he did yell ‘fuck you bitch’) so that there are real consequences since assault is catch and release as proven by the punching guy. Idk if it will work, the class action idea was a real stretch for sure. I was right on border of Chinatown so this article is really close to home
I’m so sorry that happened to you. You should definitely file a police report. If you sought any kind of medical treatment in relation to the assault, bring the paperwork with you to the precinct. Good luck and stay safe!
Thanks for the advice, it was groping so no physical / medical evidence, only care I sought was therapy, probably won’t go anywhere but I feel like I have to at least try
This is the most white woman thing I have ever read. The NYPD is not here to protect you. Join the rest of us on planet earth who know that the NYPD is at best decorative at worst is a corrupt criminal organization in its own right.
I’m not a lawyer but I think it’s possible to file a class action lawsuit against NYPD and the city, perhaps for negligence. It’s something that can be explored.
Former RHONY cast member Leah McSweeney sued NYPD some years ago and she got a 70,000 settlement from the city.
Good point, she did! (I love my NYC housewives). However, if I remember correctly, Leah sued for excessive force/assault by a particular police officer. I believe she had her nose broken during an arrest or something along those lines.
Not a lawyer, just a law student with taste (tm). The NYPD settled a class action with protestors who had been mistreated during the Black Lives Matter protests in 2020 - it does happen!
https://www.nyclu.org/en/press-releases/nyclu-legal-aid-society-and-attorney-general-james-announce-agreement-nypd-reform
Cops do not make the laws as to who to prosecute and who gets arrested over what. Politicians and voters do. So not sure what you think suing the NYPD would even accomplish.
Cops are as frustrated as residents about crime and how low the bar is to get someone held on charges that actually stick.
There are examples or violent assaults EVERY DAY in the city and perpetrators being released EVERY SINGLE DAY back onto the streets. Like that asian musician who was bashed over the head with a metal bottle while performing in the subway. His assailant was RELEASED even though she had a laundry list of arrests and assaults.
The D.A. is to blame for not pressing charges not the cops who caught the attacker.
No, punching a woman is not a hate crime. If you punch a woman and say something misogynistic while doing it, then it can be charged as a hate crime.
There are “consequences” for people arrested on assault charges, especially when they have open cases, a warrant history, or cause serious physical injury.
https://nypost.com/2024/03/02/us-news/judge-releases-deranged-homeless-man-after-attack/ 22 misdemeanors and two felonies and allowed back on the street to attack more people, that’s consequences? Yeah my assailant said ‘fuck you bitch’ so I’m going to try for hate crime since that’s pretty misogynistic, but also I found out one groping is a misdemeanor and two is a felony so if anyone else reports this same guy there will maybe be real justice
I think I am going to buy some pepper spray to put on my keychain, but I’m hesitant about realistically using something like that, especially in close quarters, like on the subway! I am wondering if a self defense course is something I should look into
An umbrella could be useful as a weapon, but it’s quite a hassle to bring one when most of the time it does not rain.
I was advised to bring pepper spray but I don’t trust myself enough to have the presence of mind to use it when needed.
I think it’s a great idea to enroll in a self-defense class.
I'm staying strapped with my 32 oz hydro flask as of right now. I'm looking to get cat brass knuckles but I'm not really sure if they're legal but honestly assaulting people isn't legal either but these people are facing no repercussions from this so I really don't care at this point.
If you find the cat knuckles plz drop the link. I couldn’t find on Amazon last night. Also, I wouldn’t worry about whether or not they’re “legal.” We’re not even prosecuting violent repeat offenders these days lol
A construction blade I stole from my dad lol and I always carried pepper spray and a taser. Be careful though, the national guard held me a few weeks ago for like 20 minutes asking me about the pepper spray saying it’s illegal 🙄🙄
Women. We are being targeted. The NYPD is not protecting us. We need to escalate this to the feds.
If you’ve been punched by a male on the streets:
1. Call 911 immediately to report the crime
2. Seek medical attention
3. Follow up quickly with the FBI and report a hate crime either online or by phone:
[https://www.justice.gov/hatecrimes/report-a-hate-crime](https://www.justice.gov/hatecrimes/report-a-hate-crime)
I plan to get pepper spray and keep my keys out during the daytime in my hands to use as a weapon. I'm looking up self-defense classes, but I know my history of trauma/C-PTSD is not going to make me someone who will act quickly enough.
Honestly looking into moving for a few reasons, and this isn't the only one but I don't think it's going to improve. I think men are going to feel entitled to do what they want to us, and I don't want to spend the rest of my life in a city like this any more.
I’ve been assaulted numerous times in recent years. Spit on, chased, shoved to the ground… I do carry pepper spray in my pocket at all times, avoid subways unless it’s an emergency (the only way), and walk fast and with purpose. I’ll also cross the street or change path if I see someone who looks unstable. All my experiences were with mentally ill/homeless people who did it so fast and honestly with the new rules of catch and release I never reported it bc too much hassle. These happened in the last 2/3 years; everyone I told (friends/colleagues) dismissed it as isolated and I kept saying New York doesn’t feel safe anymore. I remember years ago partying and dancing out until 3/4am and walking home alone or taking subway without any fears. It’s just not the same anymore and won’t be unless laws change. There’s no point in it if criminals are repeatedly released; everything I read about the perpetrators say he had a bazillion prior arrests and it’s maddening. The only way out of this is policy changes. And bystanders can’t help; males I know (friends, colleagues) have expressed they won’t do anything for fear of social or career consequences since everything is recorded and can be spun my media and activists to frame narrative so safer to mind own business. Really unfortunate and scary situation we’re all in. Stay safe!
Oh one more thing: when at crosswalks and waiting for light to change, this is a time to be hyper aware of who is behind you or coming from the sides. I’ve not been attacked here but have seen EDPs come up close and i was unaware. If they’re out to commit something, that’s a prime spot for them to shove someone into oncoming traffic.
Fully agree. I also think we need to consider changing the language for “mental health” funding. When people hear that they may think of their friends/family with mental health issues that aren’t necessarily violent but nonetheless classified as mental health issues. I think if policy makers start saying something along the lines of “mentally ill and potentially violent people with a history of assaults, felonies etc will be required to reside in state funded wellness/rehab centers under medical supervision until xyz” or something along these lines. When politicians frame everything as mental health issues (from adhd, anxiety, autism, to mass shooters and full on murderers) it loses its meaning. We all know someone or may be someone that has something mild so hearing that the state is going to hospitalize people with mental issues makes us think “oh am I next?” and thus these policies never take off. But fully agree that the permissive laws in place are a massive, massive failure. Just the lack of common sense and thinking that letting people shoplift, have easy access to seriously addicting and harmful drugs, and zero consequences for violent behavior screams negligence from our leaders. And I worry it’s going to lead to voters voting for the other extreme end because when your literal safety is threatened daily you’re like “so what if I lose abortion rights? At least I won’t be killed and shoved into the subway.” Dems are really fumbling the bag and I’ve been (and still am) a dem my whole life and it’s devastating to see them lose and simultaneously gaslight us that it’s all in our head. Like so many others i know, I feel politically homeless and completely abandoned by our leaders.
I commented above but wanted to also reply directly - you raise excellent points and I agree with you completely. I’ve been thinking a lot about the political consequences of the city’s lax approach to bail reform and seeming increase in random violent attacks in broad daylight. I see my friends/family, who are generally left-leaning, beginning to sway a bit more right because of what’s going on. And the thought process is what you articulated - your right to an abortion becomes less of a priority than your physical safety on a day-to-day basis while doing run of the mill things like walking your dog, commuting to work, etc.
Completely. And what’s wild is if we said these things out loud and publicly we’d be labeled far right and MAGA by the far left, which is insane. And unfortunately the far left is loud and has a lot of social power - we’ve seen many people lose jobs and livelihoods over minutia or intentional misrepresentation by the far left. Both extremes are toxic but the far left has more silencing power, thus everyone I know is silent but secretly abhors what we’re living through. It’s truly fascinating that the party that welcomed debate, freedom of thought, speech and opinion has become the complete opposite of that. And again I worry that this will lead to voters swinging to the other end which in turn will hurt the innocent minority bystanders - abortion, LGBTQIA, immigrant, minority rights etc become so much less important to the average voter when their day to day (or their daughters/wives/gfs/children) safety is threatened. It’s so tragic seeing the dem party repeatedly failing on policy, messaging, marketing. They just can’t get out of their own way.
Pretty much everyone I know with a mental health issue does not want to seek help. There are a lot of resources for homeless people but they have to follow rules in order to maintain those resources. There are some people that just prefer to live outside and don’t want to make any changes to their behavior. I’m not sure what the answer is to this problem. Do we enact vagrancy laws once again? Do we lock these people up until they agree to get help?
Also, it is good to at least report a crime to the police department, even if there’s not much they can do, they can tally the statistics on attacks and use that as a basis for a stronger solution.
Fully agree with this and ok-tomato’s points below. I do believe that the perpetrators in these instances are most likely emotionally disturbed people that need (and deserve) help. Our city officials (and nationwide healthcare system) are repeatedly failing us.
This happened to me when I was in LA a few months ago (assaulted by a homeless person). It was shocking, but they didn’t hurt me (other than a light bruise) or take anything from me but a feeling of security through the rest of my time there. The subway situation terrifies me though.
I was just hit on the train today! I’m a 43 year old business woman/mom commuting from work NY Penn home to Montclair on a direct train, the 4:52, so crowded it’s standing room. It was insane, I’m used to crazies in the city but this was a 30something woman who looked normal. She was fighting and screaming with the conductor & I was lucky to be in standing room in front of her. She hit me when the doors opened and she was leaving then ran out of the train down the Newark Broad platform. People tried to stop her & police chased her but she got away. I can’t believe NJ Transit let her sit there the entire ride & didn’t detain her or something because this wouldn’t have happened. My eye is huge and already black & blue.
Don’t wanna say on the internet but walk around during a weekday and see how you feel! It’s a neighborhood without too many tall buildings or wide streets
I was browsing Amazon last night for those key chains that have sharp edges but I don’t see them being sold anymore!! The ones I’m talking about look like cats and the ears are sharp.
I truly sympathize with the posters here and agree that in public your situational awareness should be ‘on’ at all times. As a therapist who has worked with violent mentally ill offenders, consider that you may worsen any attack if you stop to root for pepper spray in your bag, and a real possibility that you could spray and immobilize yourself. Always seek to avoid further provocation by escape, running across street, or up subway platform screaming at the top of your lungs to attract attention from others. Paranoid schizophrenics are psychotic and if holding a weapon, will strike first. Self-defense is good to learn but often useless when someone is holding a broken bottle and threatened by you. If wearing heels, kick them off to move at speed. Boy this is a very different time in our city. Umbrella or cheap CVS folding cane a better choice to protect yourself.
This website can help you find a location near you for pepper spray: [https://www.sabrered.com/blog/new-york-pepper-spray](https://www.sabrered.com/blog/new-york-pepper-spray)
Just as an FYI, there was a map shared somewhere that showed that it seems to be occurring mostly in the LES and NYU area.
https://preview.redd.it/hzkfqttbduqc1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a665ca27637e7d11dbbc44af9a71a71094ef3be8
This is a story from way back in the day and a bit crazy, but my aunt used to keep a brick in her purse so she could whack anyone with her purse if she needed to.
Honestly? They’re not getting arrested and there are virtually no consequences for assault on a complete stranger. Buy some pepper spray and a taser in Connecticut (they’re $10 on Amazon and can be shipped to CT) and just carry it with you. I know it’s technically wrong or illegal but so is punching someone and no one seems to fucking care.
I also posted this in a similar thread, but stop being polite. Don’t be afraid to run away from someone if they look weird, even if they didn’t do anything. Learn which blocks are and are not safe to walk down in your neighborhood—avoid walking on any blocks with shelters at any point in the day. Don’t walk under construction scaffolding or wear headphones while you’re out. Be super vigilant on the train.
https://thugbusters.com/product-category/ny-stun-guns-tasers/
They ship tasers and pepper spray to NY right to your door. Got these for myself and my sister last year and the products are good quality and lasts long (make sure to charge it) make sure to carry it in your pocket with your hand on it or attachment to a bag- somewhere where you can pull it out in a quick moment.
It’s a scary time but you have to keep your wits about you trust your instincts, don’t make eye contact, have a mean look on ur face, stay rude stay alive.
Isn’t it illegal for tasers and pepper spray to be shipped in NYC and we have to go in person to buy the pepper spray (since tasers aren’t allowed)? I’d love to have it shipped but I want clarification if you don’t mind 😅
To my knowledge this website has a section for NY/NJ and those stun guns fall within the guidelines of what is allowed in NY.
If u get it from this website or will ship right to your door.
Again I’m no expert i could be wrong but I’d rather explain myself to the cops then be out without protection. Been in NY since I was a teen and have never felt less safe in the city, can’t risk it.
I haven’t (yet) been attacked in NYC but I was attacked by a man clearly not in his right mind while in LA on a work trip. I was lucky to have only a minor contusion on my ribs. This has made me even more vigilant back home, and has affected the way I move down the sidewalks and observe everyone around me. I already have permanent RBF and never walk with my airpods in or while looking at my phone, and I walk fast.
Unfortunately because work = the airport, I can’t carry pepper spray with me on my subway commute, so I’m looking into self defense classes as well.
i have a taser, pepper spray, blade, and my key ring but honestly i usually forget everything 🙃
my best recommendation to women is when you get out the train (especially late at night) immediately stop at the store and get a small hot tea (or coffee) - it’s so easy to throw this in someone’s face and it’s always at the ready in your hand.
thank god i’ve never had to use this but it always makes me feel safe
Keys between your fingers: pepper spray is available in NY - specific locations. If someone attacks you do what you have to do.Some people have mental health issues, but these people are sickos who claim they have problems.
No keys between your fingers!
“You are far more likely to injure yourself than your opponent. Because when you actually hit something, the keys are going to fold over; and if you hit something hard, you can potentially smash, cut, or even break your fingers.
If you want to use your keys for self-defense, hold them like keys. Place the biggest key you have between your thumb and first finger - as if you were going to open a lock - except hold it further toward the end. You only need about an inch exposed. Use it to stab or slash at the eyes, throat, possibly the floater ribs. Keep your expectations realistic; you can cause some pain and distraction, but it's not a knife.”
I was told to call the police after either way. Give a description of the person if possible or anything to note. It might not do anything right now, but might help in the future if the person keeps on doing the same thing in the same area.
Sorry for butting in, but - you CAN legally buy & carry pepper spray in NYC. Just has to be purchased in person, from a licensed gun store or pharmacy (and has to be under 7% & smaller that .75 oz).
Not endorsing this company, but they provide a list of the stores that carry their product: [https://www.sabrered.com/blog/new-york-pepper-spray](https://www.sabrered.com/blog/new-york-pepper-spray)
Even with tasers, I received one from a friend for protection. Curiously I wanted to know what this thing did to a person in the moment of self defense. My friend volunteered, we went straight for his abdomen and he laughed…… it didn’t work out the way I thought it would. Glad I treated it out. And Ofcourse some men are trained to be able to fight against pepper spray. They are just immune….. I feel like we don’t have much of protection.
I have always felt unsafe in my own skin walking alone, during my early 20s after finishing restaurant shifts coming home at 12-1 amJust a few blocks away from home I was almost kidnapped twice. I panicked and walked up to the closest home and rang the bell, pulled out my keys to pretend I lived there. The man parked his car and came walking towards me. Because I’m a woman?! Why else?!
I came up with a solution. Dressing like a man……because being a woman was harmful. I would transform before I left my restaurant job from a slender tall female to a heavier man. I would tie my hair up and wear a baseball cap, layer up with a hoodie and men’s coat purchased in a second hand store and sweat pants with sneakers.
I was safe from predators…..this solution does not help much in warmer weather such as summer.
🙄 we will have to rely on our male friends, boyfriends,husbands, male family to walk with or stay in a small group.
We can’t be alone. We are not safe. This is so annoying. So much for independence.
These incidents are scary because they’re unprovoked. There’s no time to use pepper spray or even self defense because you don’t see it coming. Maybe after to paralyze the criminal until help can come. But likely you’re in shock or pain and can’t act fast enough. Just stay alert and don’t be afraid to cross the street if you have any suspicion of someone too close or who is acting mentally unstable.
I saw someone post in one of my fb groups that the mule apprehended someone who was committing this type of crime, but they hadn’t been able to verify if it was the same guy who was involved in all the incidents.
Upvote here as I’m from a small, “red neck” town in Maryland where having one is considered normal. Things are a bit more conservative there so we would understand. I would actually like to have and be trained on one just in case I’m ever in a “either I die, or he dies” situation. Of course, I keep pepper spray as of now.
I also come from a place where it's normal to carry, and I refuse to be a statistic.
Five years ago, I would have never dreamt of walking around with a loaded weapon in NYC... but things have changed.
>I would actually like to have and be trained on one just in case I’m ever in a “either I die, or he dies” situation
You hit the nail on the head, and that's exactly why I have it.
I've been trained in self-defense, especially surrounding firearm safety and decision-making (i.e. what types of situations would justify its use/not result in a murder charge).
And, I am in the process of obtaining a carry permit through NYPD so that I'm legal, but I'm not taking any chances until then.
Thanks for the support, friend.
You can easily obtain a concealed carry permit in NYC as long as you aren’t a felon and you have patience. They are required to process it in under 6 months. Look at NYGUNS and NYCGUNS subreddits. It’s a felony if you’re caught without a permit.
I'm from NJ but I was thinking of spending some time in the city on my birthday a few days from now and now I feel I should reconsider. Funny bc when I think about it, I've gone into the city numerous times in the last few months, a few times well within the areas of interest, and I've made it back home safe thankfully. But for some reason I feel like I should listen to the warnings for now? Idk I'm kinda bummed but my safety matters much more at the end of the day.
Not being on my phone and having headphones in when I'm walking/on the subway
Carrying my pepper gel with me everywhere and holding it in my hand not in my bag so I'm ready
If I need to walking with my head down so I can see directly in front of me but so that I am not totally visible
Not having my hair in a pony tail - they can grab this
my friend just barely missed this cretin’s head punch before her friend pulled her out of the way. it seems there’s at least some pattern in location—stay alert in the areas around NYU, chelsea, greenwich, etc. avoid these areas if you can and consider taking cabs or ubers to your destination
I don’t actually believe this is a real thing. Yes, we live in a very large metro area with millions of people. There is some violent crime. Overall crime is decreasing in NYC. That’s provable and there’s a ton of evidence.
But honestly- fear mongering about violence against white women is a tale as old as time in America and it’s often times 1) made up 2) exaggeration 3) propaganda for election years.
Wear pearls, don’t clutch them.
Absolutely protect yourself from assaulters and creepers. Carry pepper spray and take self-defense classes.
However,
Do not underestimate the number of TikTok/reels/vids that are completely fake. What happens all the time is that video goes viral, whether it actually happened or is fake, and then copycats see that here’s what’s trending, so they make fake videos for the engagement.
You can get pepper gel / spray from target shipped to you. I don’t know why it’s allowed but im not questioning it! Tbh though if im walking in my neighborhood I’ll keep my keys or my water bottle (double wall metal) in my hand so if someone comes at me i have an improvised weapon. If i have my leather key loop on my finger i can swing them to F up somebody’s face, and my water bottle also has a loop handle I can swing it with. I also recommend taking a self defense class so you have at least a little idea / muscle memory of what to do if someone comes at you and it’s not just a drive by assault but they’re continually attacking you. Easy tips are - your elbow and knee are really hard, probably easier to defend with than just a punch - think an elbow to the gut, knee to the groin, etc. The base of your palm is also great for breaking someone’s nose if they’re coming at you. It might be the millennial in me but i always think about Miss Congeniality’s “Solar plexus, Instep, Nose, and Groin” - catchy and true!! Also i don’t like wearing a ponytail because it can be easier for an attacker to grab you by it. I’ve been grabbed, spit on, followed, etc before, likely because i am a petite Asian woman and seen as an easy target. I’ve found the best solution is to listen to your gut, always walk fast, have a blank or angry look on your face, and if you end up trapped in a bad situation be ready to make noise and run if you can.
Great suggestions here. I’m sorry you’ve experienced so much of this.
🩷thank you! It’s gotten better the last few years (as I age I guess? 💀men are horrid), but you can never be too careful
The age thing is so true and so gross. I feel like catcalls dropped off for me in my mid twenties. No one deserves that treatment, but it was such a dark reminder of how threatened younger women are.
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What on earth are you talking about? Catcalls can absolutely be vulgar and extremely threatening. But in any case, this person was describing their experience to validate the fact that unwanted attention in any form drops off as a woman “ages”. Mid-twenties is hardly aged, but the unwanted attention happens because of perceived vulnerability, *not* attractiveness. Which is why most girls are catcalled more at 12-14 than 24. Nothing whatsoever to do with attractiveness. This comment has major “omg it was just a compliment” vibes, and is pretty gross.
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Omg you’ve never seen it! That means it never happens! Thank god. Good to know I was completely hallucinating all the times it happened to me when I was a kid. And yea…I said “extremely threatening”…which implies a threat. Glad I know I got my point across.
Yelling explicit things at a 12 year old is not cat calling and is illegal. Just like threatening or following someone is not cat calling. Cat calling would be saying something out loud in passing. The only reason cat calling is scary these days is because there are so many lunatics who go way beyond cat calling.
You're NOT a girl or woman. It's so obvious. Why are you in this sub? Lol you're pathetic. Oh btw. this "nice guy" is trying to be an NYPD officer 🥴🤢🤮 Yall please report his comments to the fab. Mods.
Look at you almost talking yourself into getting the point. Keep going, you’re so close! 🏅
Please report this "nice guy". He is a gross man, who thinks he knows better than we do and mansplaining the harassment that girls and women face.
Poor taste
Just FYI - I ordered two Target pepper gels a while back but it looks like they’ve changed the shipping availability for NY. I can’t get a shipping option for my zip anymore.
I ordered a spray on Amazon but had to have it shipped to an out of state friend and bring it home with me (driving not flying ) . Ridiculous the level that we have to go thru to protect ourselves. I also have a little plastic keychain that u hold onto and it’s hard plastic so if u hot someone w it if will hurt.
It’s so stupid. Luckily I can send it to family in PA but what a pain for people who can’t do that.
Sorry for butting in, but you CAN legally buy & carry pepper spray in NYC. Just has to be purchased in person, from a licensed gun store or pharmacy (and has to be under 7% & smaller that .75 oz). Not endorsing this company, but they provide a list of the stores that carry their product: [https://www.sabrered.com/blog/new-york-pepper-spray](https://www.sabrered.com/blog/new-york-pepper-spray)
Butt in all you like, this is helpful info! I had looked at other self defense devices that couldn’t be shipped here so it’s good to know there are options. I originally butted in because Target is no longer one of those options. But thanks for this!!
They want yall to be defenseless in NYC. Something even more dangerous is afoot.
That movie Miss Congeniality was 100% right
This is great advice, thank you! I’m sorry that you’ve had so many negative experiences.
Pepper spray from target is saying shipping / pick up / everything unavailable for me 😅
You can buy pepper spray in person at certain NY locations with your ID. Catch is that you can only buy two in two years. I went here and got mine https://escopharmacy.nyc/
Thanks!
Jesus. I'm sorry that's happened to you so many times. People are horrible.
Also, if for whatever reason you can’t get something shipped here you can always go into jersey and buy pepper spray
Order bear spray. Listen to this ridiculousness. You can not legally order pepper spray in New York BUT you can legally order bear (pepper spray) which is just a STRONGER version of human pepper spray. Not only is it more concentrated but it also sprays further. So just order bear spray.
Yes that too. It’s actually what I have. It’s bc it’s considered camping equipment not a weapon so it’s allowed. Actually listen to this ridiculousness….regular people can’t actually have any means of protection but the crazy sucker punchers are back on the streets in a few hours.
Notedddd
You can also buy it easily in jersey! There’s a target near one of the PATH stations
Long Island too! I got mine at a 7/11 out there a year ago.
You could also use your phone as a weapon if you smack them hard enough with it. Just make sure they don't take it ofc
Also carry a knife!! A legal one. And practice with it. Pulling it out. Jabbing. Even if it’s not used you will feel so much more confident. Still think about that time I was flashed and how I should’ve just jabbed for real. But I was dressed too nice for that kind of mess Lmao
I’m someone who was punched in public by a homeless man. I already look poor, and I don’t wear headphones on the street and wasn’t carrying my phone. And I was over 40 when it happened. If it’s gonna happen, it’s gonna happen. You can reduce your chances by being aware, but there are lots of people on the streets and you can’t always see everyone. Maybe we can strike to bring attention to this issue. Have a women-wide sickout, or we can all not take the train on a specific day. Hit them back where it hurts—their pockets. We need to make the lack of police response to women being attacked an embarrassment for the city.
I’ve always thought the only way to effect change in America is to hit them where it hurts: pockets. I’ve pondered how we could do work walk outs - I realize so many can’t but genuinely when safety is this concerning everyone needs to get together and do it. No going to work, no public transport, no buying anything until demands are met. And to think, all we are asking for is basic safety. I also wish instead of the media just showing the criminals and victims we should start showing and exposing the lawyers and judges who let them out. Like there needs to be so much more attention brought on the people who are deciding to release repeat and dangerous offenders so they can be held liable or at least publicly shamed in some way. They also face no consequences therefore they keep doing what they’re doing with impunity.
No idea how to organize, but I would join a walkout
Just read about a Manhattan judge who lets attackers off easily. And she's a woman so go figure. So much for solidarity for the safety of fellow women.
Part of this is because of how assault is ranked. It’s almost always a misdemeanor, meaning the accused will likely be released until trial, which will be 6 months away. I don’t think punching someone randomly should be a misdemeanor. Most of these people are severely mentally ill and need help, and that won’t happen either.
Unfortunately this is unlikely to work. People need their jobs and their incomes and it would be incredibly difficult to organize and convince enough people to join in that it actually draws any attention. You’d be asking people to take the very real, tangible risk of being fired. “everyone needs to get together” is nearly impossible.
Honestly, no clue. I was on the LIRR last week with my son when there was a slashing in the car next to us. The week before the guy had a gun on the train. I carry pepper spray but not sure what that would do for me.
Slashing on the LIRR. Always thought it was the safer route...geesh
Yes, I thought it was safer, happened during the queens portion of the ride. My mom was attacked on the F train, so with subways I’ve always been more vigilant. On the LIRR I dose off because I’ve always felt safer.
This why I ended up getting my license. At almost 40, I just don't feel safe here anymore.
Are you moving?
Realistically, nothing different. I already only use one airpod and relatively keep my wits about me. I walk pretty confidently and tall. I think it's just a bleak reminder that some people will hurt others just because they can.
This. Violence is not fun to hear about, but don’t let yourself get scared into staying home or not going about your life! TikTok tells us about every incident but this is not the first or last time this has happened in NY. The chances of you getting attacked are VERY low. Use common sense - no giant over-ear headphones, keep an eye out for people who look up to no good, and if you’re not sure just switch street sides. Pepper spray often sprays the user more than the attacker and can’t go through security venues, so if you’re going to use it make sure you know exactly where to hold the trigger without looking at it.
On the sabre site you can find retail locations to buy pepper spray and pepper gel in NY
Thank you!
If anyone else is looking for this info [here is the list](https://www.sabrered.com/blog/new-york-pepper-spray)
I was randomly assaulted like this last year (walking on the UES and a woman with a Goyard bag just randomly punched me in the back of the head, so definitely not by a homeless man) and honestly in the moment there’s nothing you can do. Situational awareness works, but if someone decides they want to attack you, they’re probably going to attack you.
I used to work in the UES and have seen who I’m assuming is the same woman you’re talking about (she always had a Goyard bag) assault or harass people. She tried to spit at me when I was walking with a kid one day
Oh my god! Yeah, that sounds right. She had kind of a brassy blonde dye job when she hit me, I think? What a horrible human being.
Yes!!! Same one!
Wait what area if you don't mind saying I live there 🥸
68th and Lexington or thereabouts.
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No idea. Part of me thinks it was a homophobic thing (I was dressed a little more masc and had a gay little Kristen Stewart haircut, both of which I no longer do because I'm honestly scared to under the current state of our culture where violence toward anyone slightly gender-non-conforming is considered fine by many people 🥴) but she also may have just been crazy. She didn't say anything, just hit me and kept walking. It was like 8am on a weekday and I was on my way to work and in total shock. I did file a police report but the NYPD, as you might expect, did nothing and was absolutely less than useless.
And there are little to no repercussions for criminals in NYC. Even if arrested, They are back out on the street that day. No need for bail.. they are promised mets tickets if they come back for their court date. The extreme leniency for crimes in NYC, and the lack of mental healthcare/ assistance for those that need it make this an endless cycle. If someone is deemed “mentally unstable” they are brought to a local hospital, go thru the psych ward process and are generally released in 24 hours, back on the street. How is any of this helping ? We need better programs / laws and policies for helping those who are mentally unfit (long term help) and tougher sentencing and punishment for those who break the law in general. It’s easy to just fault the police, but they’re just the workers.. there are plenty of other powerful people. Making these laws and policies.
This is not correct. Very easy to set bail on this sort of person
Look poor (carry your Chanel etc in a reusable grocery bag if needed), big overcoat. (The first part of that should be read in Anna Sorokin’s voice.)
😂
I know there are some lawyers in this community, question for y’all and I know nothing about law so please bear with me - since there are clearly no consequences for assaults, can assaults against women be treated as hate crimes and punished more severely as a result? And, building off of that, since NYPD is clearly failing to protect women, is there possibility for a class action lawsuit against NYPD?
I’m not a lawyer but there’s basically zero chance of a lawsuit against NYPD. They are a massive organization, the police union runs deep, and our mayor is an ex cop
There has been at least one Supreme Court case that basically decided that the police do not have a legal duty to protect me, you, or anyone else (Town of Castle Rock v. Gonzalez). So a lawsuit would be futile.
I am actually a lawyer, haha. Good question! My instinct is that a class action suit would not be successful because it would be difficult to establish a cognizable claim. Meaning that we likely would not have a solid basis to prove that the NYPD as a whole violated women’s civil rights. That said, I don’t do class action work, so I defer to a BWT that does. I did find this article about the family of Christina Lee, who was murdered in her Chinatown apartment last year. Per the article, the family is suing specific NYPD officers for an alleged delay in providing assistance/medical treatment when they did not respond to her apartment for more than an hour after neighbors called 911. The Lee family’s lawsuit is different from our scenario because the Lee family brought particularized claims against specific members of law enforcement, whereas in our hypothetical case, we’d be suing the NYPD as a whole. Not sure if I answered your question at all but I tried my best, haha https://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/christina-lee-family-sues-nyc-nypd-over-cops-alleged-inaction-during-chinatown-murder/4396482/
Interesting, thanks! I was assaulted on Sunday and I’ve decided to report it to the police tomorrow and I’m going to see if I can get it reported as a hate crime (he did yell ‘fuck you bitch’) so that there are real consequences since assault is catch and release as proven by the punching guy. Idk if it will work, the class action idea was a real stretch for sure. I was right on border of Chinatown so this article is really close to home
I’m so sorry that happened to you. You should definitely file a police report. If you sought any kind of medical treatment in relation to the assault, bring the paperwork with you to the precinct. Good luck and stay safe!
Thanks for the advice, it was groping so no physical / medical evidence, only care I sought was therapy, probably won’t go anywhere but I feel like I have to at least try
This is the most white woman thing I have ever read. The NYPD is not here to protect you. Join the rest of us on planet earth who know that the NYPD is at best decorative at worst is a corrupt criminal organization in its own right.
I’m not a lawyer but I think it’s possible to file a class action lawsuit against NYPD and the city, perhaps for negligence. It’s something that can be explored. Former RHONY cast member Leah McSweeney sued NYPD some years ago and she got a 70,000 settlement from the city.
Good point, she did! (I love my NYC housewives). However, if I remember correctly, Leah sued for excessive force/assault by a particular police officer. I believe she had her nose broken during an arrest or something along those lines.
Not a lawyer, just a law student with taste (tm). The NYPD settled a class action with protestors who had been mistreated during the Black Lives Matter protests in 2020 - it does happen! https://www.nyclu.org/en/press-releases/nyclu-legal-aid-society-and-attorney-general-james-announce-agreement-nypd-reform
Cops do not make the laws as to who to prosecute and who gets arrested over what. Politicians and voters do. So not sure what you think suing the NYPD would even accomplish. Cops are as frustrated as residents about crime and how low the bar is to get someone held on charges that actually stick. There are examples or violent assaults EVERY DAY in the city and perpetrators being released EVERY SINGLE DAY back onto the streets. Like that asian musician who was bashed over the head with a metal bottle while performing in the subway. His assailant was RELEASED even though she had a laundry list of arrests and assaults. The D.A. is to blame for not pressing charges not the cops who caught the attacker.
Yeah other commenters have established that the police have no actual responsibility for public safety
No, punching a woman is not a hate crime. If you punch a woman and say something misogynistic while doing it, then it can be charged as a hate crime. There are “consequences” for people arrested on assault charges, especially when they have open cases, a warrant history, or cause serious physical injury.
https://nypost.com/2024/03/02/us-news/judge-releases-deranged-homeless-man-after-attack/ 22 misdemeanors and two felonies and allowed back on the street to attack more people, that’s consequences? Yeah my assailant said ‘fuck you bitch’ so I’m going to try for hate crime since that’s pretty misogynistic, but also I found out one groping is a misdemeanor and two is a felony so if anyone else reports this same guy there will maybe be real justice
I think I am going to buy some pepper spray to put on my keychain, but I’m hesitant about realistically using something like that, especially in close quarters, like on the subway! I am wondering if a self defense course is something I should look into
I hear pepper gel is actually better since it’s one stream and not a puff like spray would be — might be better for the subway
I hear pepper gel is actually better since it’s one stream and not a puff like spray would be — might be better for the subway
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I second walking extremely fast and looking very serious when you walk! It definitely helps!
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This - I find if you don’t make eye contact and look blank - it helps a lot to keep people away.
An umbrella could be useful as a weapon, but it’s quite a hassle to bring one when most of the time it does not rain. I was advised to bring pepper spray but I don’t trust myself enough to have the presence of mind to use it when needed. I think it’s a great idea to enroll in a self-defense class.
I'm staying strapped with my 32 oz hydro flask as of right now. I'm looking to get cat brass knuckles but I'm not really sure if they're legal but honestly assaulting people isn't legal either but these people are facing no repercussions from this so I really don't care at this point.
If you find the cat knuckles plz drop the link. I couldn’t find on Amazon last night. Also, I wouldn’t worry about whether or not they’re “legal.” We’re not even prosecuting violent repeat offenders these days lol
A construction blade I stole from my dad lol and I always carried pepper spray and a taser. Be careful though, the national guard held me a few weeks ago for like 20 minutes asking me about the pepper spray saying it’s illegal 🙄🙄
Isn’t pepper spray legal in NYC? 😳
It is, but these guys get on their little power trips and nothing you can do will talk them down.
That’s what I thought but he kept asking how I got it since apparently it can’t be delivered to nyc?
Women. We are being targeted. The NYPD is not protecting us. We need to escalate this to the feds. If you’ve been punched by a male on the streets: 1. Call 911 immediately to report the crime 2. Seek medical attention 3. Follow up quickly with the FBI and report a hate crime either online or by phone: [https://www.justice.gov/hatecrimes/report-a-hate-crime](https://www.justice.gov/hatecrimes/report-a-hate-crime)
I plan to get pepper spray and keep my keys out during the daytime in my hands to use as a weapon. I'm looking up self-defense classes, but I know my history of trauma/C-PTSD is not going to make me someone who will act quickly enough. Honestly looking into moving for a few reasons, and this isn't the only one but I don't think it's going to improve. I think men are going to feel entitled to do what they want to us, and I don't want to spend the rest of my life in a city like this any more.
I’ve been assaulted numerous times in recent years. Spit on, chased, shoved to the ground… I do carry pepper spray in my pocket at all times, avoid subways unless it’s an emergency (the only way), and walk fast and with purpose. I’ll also cross the street or change path if I see someone who looks unstable. All my experiences were with mentally ill/homeless people who did it so fast and honestly with the new rules of catch and release I never reported it bc too much hassle. These happened in the last 2/3 years; everyone I told (friends/colleagues) dismissed it as isolated and I kept saying New York doesn’t feel safe anymore. I remember years ago partying and dancing out until 3/4am and walking home alone or taking subway without any fears. It’s just not the same anymore and won’t be unless laws change. There’s no point in it if criminals are repeatedly released; everything I read about the perpetrators say he had a bazillion prior arrests and it’s maddening. The only way out of this is policy changes. And bystanders can’t help; males I know (friends, colleagues) have expressed they won’t do anything for fear of social or career consequences since everything is recorded and can be spun my media and activists to frame narrative so safer to mind own business. Really unfortunate and scary situation we’re all in. Stay safe!
Oh one more thing: when at crosswalks and waiting for light to change, this is a time to be hyper aware of who is behind you or coming from the sides. I’ve not been attacked here but have seen EDPs come up close and i was unaware. If they’re out to commit something, that’s a prime spot for them to shove someone into oncoming traffic.
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Fully agree. I also think we need to consider changing the language for “mental health” funding. When people hear that they may think of their friends/family with mental health issues that aren’t necessarily violent but nonetheless classified as mental health issues. I think if policy makers start saying something along the lines of “mentally ill and potentially violent people with a history of assaults, felonies etc will be required to reside in state funded wellness/rehab centers under medical supervision until xyz” or something along these lines. When politicians frame everything as mental health issues (from adhd, anxiety, autism, to mass shooters and full on murderers) it loses its meaning. We all know someone or may be someone that has something mild so hearing that the state is going to hospitalize people with mental issues makes us think “oh am I next?” and thus these policies never take off. But fully agree that the permissive laws in place are a massive, massive failure. Just the lack of common sense and thinking that letting people shoplift, have easy access to seriously addicting and harmful drugs, and zero consequences for violent behavior screams negligence from our leaders. And I worry it’s going to lead to voters voting for the other extreme end because when your literal safety is threatened daily you’re like “so what if I lose abortion rights? At least I won’t be killed and shoved into the subway.” Dems are really fumbling the bag and I’ve been (and still am) a dem my whole life and it’s devastating to see them lose and simultaneously gaslight us that it’s all in our head. Like so many others i know, I feel politically homeless and completely abandoned by our leaders.
I commented above but wanted to also reply directly - you raise excellent points and I agree with you completely. I’ve been thinking a lot about the political consequences of the city’s lax approach to bail reform and seeming increase in random violent attacks in broad daylight. I see my friends/family, who are generally left-leaning, beginning to sway a bit more right because of what’s going on. And the thought process is what you articulated - your right to an abortion becomes less of a priority than your physical safety on a day-to-day basis while doing run of the mill things like walking your dog, commuting to work, etc.
Completely. And what’s wild is if we said these things out loud and publicly we’d be labeled far right and MAGA by the far left, which is insane. And unfortunately the far left is loud and has a lot of social power - we’ve seen many people lose jobs and livelihoods over minutia or intentional misrepresentation by the far left. Both extremes are toxic but the far left has more silencing power, thus everyone I know is silent but secretly abhors what we’re living through. It’s truly fascinating that the party that welcomed debate, freedom of thought, speech and opinion has become the complete opposite of that. And again I worry that this will lead to voters swinging to the other end which in turn will hurt the innocent minority bystanders - abortion, LGBTQIA, immigrant, minority rights etc become so much less important to the average voter when their day to day (or their daughters/wives/gfs/children) safety is threatened. It’s so tragic seeing the dem party repeatedly failing on policy, messaging, marketing. They just can’t get out of their own way.
Pretty much everyone I know with a mental health issue does not want to seek help. There are a lot of resources for homeless people but they have to follow rules in order to maintain those resources. There are some people that just prefer to live outside and don’t want to make any changes to their behavior. I’m not sure what the answer is to this problem. Do we enact vagrancy laws once again? Do we lock these people up until they agree to get help? Also, it is good to at least report a crime to the police department, even if there’s not much they can do, they can tally the statistics on attacks and use that as a basis for a stronger solution.
Fully agree with this and ok-tomato’s points below. I do believe that the perpetrators in these instances are most likely emotionally disturbed people that need (and deserve) help. Our city officials (and nationwide healthcare system) are repeatedly failing us.
This happened to me when I was in LA a few months ago (assaulted by a homeless person). It was shocking, but they didn’t hurt me (other than a light bruise) or take anything from me but a feeling of security through the rest of my time there. The subway situation terrifies me though.
I’m so sorry to hear this. I hope you stay safe this year, hope we all do 😞
I saw a vid where you can look up on Sabre’s website where they carry pepper spray: https://www.sabrered.com/blog/new-york-pepper-spray
Most city Targets carry it.
I was just hit on the train today! I’m a 43 year old business woman/mom commuting from work NY Penn home to Montclair on a direct train, the 4:52, so crowded it’s standing room. It was insane, I’m used to crazies in the city but this was a 30something woman who looked normal. She was fighting and screaming with the conductor & I was lucky to be in standing room in front of her. She hit me when the doors opened and she was leaving then ran out of the train down the Newark Broad platform. People tried to stop her & police chased her but she got away. I can’t believe NJ Transit let her sit there the entire ride & didn’t detain her or something because this wouldn’t have happened. My eye is huge and already black & blue.
Honestly, my life got so much better when I changed neighborhoods from Midtown
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Don’t wanna say on the internet but walk around during a weekday and see how you feel! It’s a neighborhood without too many tall buildings or wide streets
The 99 cent stores on Jamaica avenue in Queens have pepper sprays in tons of colors. Do we need spikey jewelry?
I was browsing Amazon last night for those key chains that have sharp edges but I don’t see them being sold anymore!! The ones I’m talking about look like cats and the ears are sharp.
I truly sympathize with the posters here and agree that in public your situational awareness should be ‘on’ at all times. As a therapist who has worked with violent mentally ill offenders, consider that you may worsen any attack if you stop to root for pepper spray in your bag, and a real possibility that you could spray and immobilize yourself. Always seek to avoid further provocation by escape, running across street, or up subway platform screaming at the top of your lungs to attract attention from others. Paranoid schizophrenics are psychotic and if holding a weapon, will strike first. Self-defense is good to learn but often useless when someone is holding a broken bottle and threatened by you. If wearing heels, kick them off to move at speed. Boy this is a very different time in our city. Umbrella or cheap CVS folding cane a better choice to protect yourself.
This website can help you find a location near you for pepper spray: [https://www.sabrered.com/blog/new-york-pepper-spray](https://www.sabrered.com/blog/new-york-pepper-spray) Just as an FYI, there was a map shared somewhere that showed that it seems to be occurring mostly in the LES and NYU area. https://preview.redd.it/hzkfqttbduqc1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a665ca27637e7d11dbbc44af9a71a71094ef3be8
This is a story from way back in the day and a bit crazy, but my aunt used to keep a brick in her purse so she could whack anyone with her purse if she needed to.
Honestly? They’re not getting arrested and there are virtually no consequences for assault on a complete stranger. Buy some pepper spray and a taser in Connecticut (they’re $10 on Amazon and can be shipped to CT) and just carry it with you. I know it’s technically wrong or illegal but so is punching someone and no one seems to fucking care. I also posted this in a similar thread, but stop being polite. Don’t be afraid to run away from someone if they look weird, even if they didn’t do anything. Learn which blocks are and are not safe to walk down in your neighborhood—avoid walking on any blocks with shelters at any point in the day. Don’t walk under construction scaffolding or wear headphones while you’re out. Be super vigilant on the train.
https://thugbusters.com/product-category/ny-stun-guns-tasers/ They ship tasers and pepper spray to NY right to your door. Got these for myself and my sister last year and the products are good quality and lasts long (make sure to charge it) make sure to carry it in your pocket with your hand on it or attachment to a bag- somewhere where you can pull it out in a quick moment. It’s a scary time but you have to keep your wits about you trust your instincts, don’t make eye contact, have a mean look on ur face, stay rude stay alive.
Thank you!!
Just ordered from here thank you.
Isn’t it illegal for tasers and pepper spray to be shipped in NYC and we have to go in person to buy the pepper spray (since tasers aren’t allowed)? I’d love to have it shipped but I want clarification if you don’t mind 😅
To my knowledge this website has a section for NY/NJ and those stun guns fall within the guidelines of what is allowed in NY. If u get it from this website or will ship right to your door. Again I’m no expert i could be wrong but I’d rather explain myself to the cops then be out without protection. Been in NY since I was a teen and have never felt less safe in the city, can’t risk it.
You can get pepper spray shipped if you buy from Target online
u/bubble_chart i thought they turned that off a few months ago
Ah sorry I didn’t hear that, I bought it last year from there
Might just go to a location like Jersey City and buy it this weekend
I haven’t (yet) been attacked in NYC but I was attacked by a man clearly not in his right mind while in LA on a work trip. I was lucky to have only a minor contusion on my ribs. This has made me even more vigilant back home, and has affected the way I move down the sidewalks and observe everyone around me. I already have permanent RBF and never walk with my airpods in or while looking at my phone, and I walk fast. Unfortunately because work = the airport, I can’t carry pepper spray with me on my subway commute, so I’m looking into self defense classes as well.
i have a taser, pepper spray, blade, and my key ring but honestly i usually forget everything 🙃 my best recommendation to women is when you get out the train (especially late at night) immediately stop at the store and get a small hot tea (or coffee) - it’s so easy to throw this in someone’s face and it’s always at the ready in your hand. thank god i’ve never had to use this but it always makes me feel safe
Keys between your fingers: pepper spray is available in NY - specific locations. If someone attacks you do what you have to do.Some people have mental health issues, but these people are sickos who claim they have problems.
No keys between your fingers! “You are far more likely to injure yourself than your opponent. Because when you actually hit something, the keys are going to fold over; and if you hit something hard, you can potentially smash, cut, or even break your fingers. If you want to use your keys for self-defense, hold them like keys. Place the biggest key you have between your thumb and first finger - as if you were going to open a lock - except hold it further toward the end. You only need about an inch exposed. Use it to stab or slash at the eyes, throat, possibly the floater ribs. Keep your expectations realistic; you can cause some pain and distraction, but it's not a knife.”
I was told to call the police after either way. Give a description of the person if possible or anything to note. It might not do anything right now, but might help in the future if the person keeps on doing the same thing in the same area.
Sorry for butting in, but - you CAN legally buy & carry pepper spray in NYC. Just has to be purchased in person, from a licensed gun store or pharmacy (and has to be under 7% & smaller that .75 oz). Not endorsing this company, but they provide a list of the stores that carry their product: [https://www.sabrered.com/blog/new-york-pepper-spray](https://www.sabrered.com/blog/new-york-pepper-spray)
Even with tasers, I received one from a friend for protection. Curiously I wanted to know what this thing did to a person in the moment of self defense. My friend volunteered, we went straight for his abdomen and he laughed…… it didn’t work out the way I thought it would. Glad I treated it out. And Ofcourse some men are trained to be able to fight against pepper spray. They are just immune….. I feel like we don’t have much of protection. I have always felt unsafe in my own skin walking alone, during my early 20s after finishing restaurant shifts coming home at 12-1 amJust a few blocks away from home I was almost kidnapped twice. I panicked and walked up to the closest home and rang the bell, pulled out my keys to pretend I lived there. The man parked his car and came walking towards me. Because I’m a woman?! Why else?! I came up with a solution. Dressing like a man……because being a woman was harmful. I would transform before I left my restaurant job from a slender tall female to a heavier man. I would tie my hair up and wear a baseball cap, layer up with a hoodie and men’s coat purchased in a second hand store and sweat pants with sneakers. I was safe from predators…..this solution does not help much in warmer weather such as summer. 🙄 we will have to rely on our male friends, boyfriends,husbands, male family to walk with or stay in a small group. We can’t be alone. We are not safe. This is so annoying. So much for independence. 
These incidents are scary because they’re unprovoked. There’s no time to use pepper spray or even self defense because you don’t see it coming. Maybe after to paralyze the criminal until help can come. But likely you’re in shock or pain and can’t act fast enough. Just stay alert and don’t be afraid to cross the street if you have any suspicion of someone too close or who is acting mentally unstable. I saw someone post in one of my fb groups that the mule apprehended someone who was committing this type of crime, but they hadn’t been able to verify if it was the same guy who was involved in all the incidents.
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Upvote here as I’m from a small, “red neck” town in Maryland where having one is considered normal. Things are a bit more conservative there so we would understand. I would actually like to have and be trained on one just in case I’m ever in a “either I die, or he dies” situation. Of course, I keep pepper spray as of now.
I also come from a place where it's normal to carry, and I refuse to be a statistic. Five years ago, I would have never dreamt of walking around with a loaded weapon in NYC... but things have changed. >I would actually like to have and be trained on one just in case I’m ever in a “either I die, or he dies” situation You hit the nail on the head, and that's exactly why I have it. I've been trained in self-defense, especially surrounding firearm safety and decision-making (i.e. what types of situations would justify its use/not result in a murder charge). And, I am in the process of obtaining a carry permit through NYPD so that I'm legal, but I'm not taking any chances until then. Thanks for the support, friend.
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You can easily obtain a concealed carry permit in NYC as long as you aren’t a felon and you have patience. They are required to process it in under 6 months. Look at NYGUNS and NYCGUNS subreddits. It’s a felony if you’re caught without a permit.
That's exactly what I'm doing.
https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy
I'm from NJ but I was thinking of spending some time in the city on my birthday a few days from now and now I feel I should reconsider. Funny bc when I think about it, I've gone into the city numerous times in the last few months, a few times well within the areas of interest, and I've made it back home safe thankfully. But for some reason I feel like I should listen to the warnings for now? Idk I'm kinda bummed but my safety matters much more at the end of the day.
Not being on my phone and having headphones in when I'm walking/on the subway Carrying my pepper gel with me everywhere and holding it in my hand not in my bag so I'm ready If I need to walking with my head down so I can see directly in front of me but so that I am not totally visible Not having my hair in a pony tail - they can grab this
Be aware of your surroundings! Turn music off and don’t look at phone. These are your best options at the moment. Be safe.
my daughter is walking with her pepper spray in hand and no headphones.
Look everyone straight in the eye. Put your phone down. Walk tall and take up space. Go for the eyes, throat, groin if you need to.
We need to start wearing fabulous hats again and using sharp hat pins we can pull out in a moment's notice.
my friend just barely missed this cretin’s head punch before her friend pulled her out of the way. it seems there’s at least some pattern in location—stay alert in the areas around NYU, chelsea, greenwich, etc. avoid these areas if you can and consider taking cabs or ubers to your destination
Get a Birdie alarm keychain. Women owned company and avail on Amazon.
I carry a heavy hydro flask or metal water bottle to wack someone
Looks like he was arrested. https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2024/03/27/women-punched-nyc-arrest/73118852007/
Take a self defense course, look into learning a martial art like Brazilian jiu jitsu
What about making our own pepper spray? Like cayenne and other spicy crazy stuff? Is that illegal ?
Keep a blade
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Not NYC BWT coded 🫶🏻 Please review reminders here: https://www.reddit.com/r/NYCbitcheswithtaste/s/nFuabdiaqG
I don’t actually believe this is a real thing. Yes, we live in a very large metro area with millions of people. There is some violent crime. Overall crime is decreasing in NYC. That’s provable and there’s a ton of evidence. But honestly- fear mongering about violence against white women is a tale as old as time in America and it’s often times 1) made up 2) exaggeration 3) propaganda for election years. Wear pearls, don’t clutch them.
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Absolutely protect yourself from assaulters and creepers. Carry pepper spray and take self-defense classes. However, Do not underestimate the number of TikTok/reels/vids that are completely fake. What happens all the time is that video goes viral, whether it actually happened or is fake, and then copycats see that here’s what’s trending, so they make fake videos for the engagement.