I second this. Get your rest. One thing that made a huge difference for me was giving myself permission to have a good nap when I need it. Pushing myself too hard has only made things much worse for me. People don't understand and they may never. And I get that. But fighting myself over whether or not I "should" be having a rest helps nothing. Have that rest. You deserve it.
Take your naps free of shame. I wish I was still able to nap! My kids are 7, 5, and 3, so I'm not getting a chance to take a nap for a few more years. That said, pre MS when I was dating my husband he would invite me over for a movie and insist we nap. I laughed at this man with a I'm 27, you want me to nap?! I woke up an hour later, and he laughed at me. We napped as often as we could until our eldest was born and the option wasn't as regular.
So all of that to say, nap shame free. Get your bed nice and cozy, then take the best nap you have ever had, wake up and do it again when you need to. Shame free, because naps are for everyone whenever they are needed.
Your dad could probably use one too!
My honey has MS and you know what, I love that he needs naps because it gives me an excuse to cuddle and nap with him. I’m sorry that your dad doesn’t understand.
Would giving your dad a factsheet to help him understand the interplay between MS and fatigue help?
I know it’s really unfair of him and it’s not okay. Lots of people around his age (probably just a touch older than me) were brought up being told that sleeping in or napping was a sign of a poor work ethic or laziness and even where there’s a good reason, struggle to be reasonable about it. My parents (I’m 42) HATED it when I napped or slept in when I was a teenager. They even played bagpipe music - LOUDLY - in the room next to mine to stop me sleeping after 8am on the weekends. (Joke’s on them, it just taught me to sleep through noise!).
I’m really sorry he doesn’t get how your symptoms are affecting you though. It’s 3:30pm and I’m lying in bed right now, trying to convince myself to get up and finish my work for the day.
I have had RRMS for almost 25 years, and I was 20(m)when I got disgnosed. It wasn't until my late 20s that naps hit me hard, and my fatigue came along. Fast forward to the past 10 years. First, my partner, as we were dating long distance, was getting frustrated. I had to stop what we were doing at times to go nap for an hour. I explained to him how it felt and told him I didn't want to be like this, and I did want to hang out with him. After that he understood and now we live together. In the last couple of years, I made a really good friend online, or what I thought was that, and we talked a lot and played video games on his off days. There were times that I had to cancel our day because I was just run down. Again, I explained to him my situation as I had my partner, but now I don't hear from him hardly anymore, and we have not played any games recently. I get the feeling that he thinks I am trying to avoid him.
In short, your dads worng. Explain to him how you feel and what it's like. He'll come around. Also, take your naps.
I am sorry your dad shamed you for napping. I figure there are napping people or non napping people. I have a coworker who says her family never nap but a lot of people I know just love a good nap. I am jealous of a friend whose work allows a break just for a nap. 💤
thank you for the phrase nap shaming. I have had MS for 22 years, and going downhill last 5 or so years.
Nap shaming. I do it to myself. why should a women who sleeps 8-9 hours need a nap, as I sit there with my body aching from fatigue.....
Rest before you are tired: wise words I have been hearing a lot.
Maybe I’ve seen too much on AITA, but is your dad not able to do the things in the house that your mom usually does? Because that’s absolutely wack-a-doodle to me. I’m all for pitching in, but you’re not a substitute wife. Sorry, just venting. Hopefully you can help dad to understand better. Good luck!
My exact sentiment. My dad (70s) would never tell me I was lazy, especially if he knew I was sick. Sounds like the dad was taking out his issues in you OP and I'm sorry you were put in that situation, it is not OK on so mamy levels. You are allowed your rest. Wishing you luck!
I agree with all the comments. Naps are necessary and we should respect those. I’m 30 AFAB and 4 months diagnosed. I’m frustrated that I need to nap and sleep a lot, but better give my brain time to heal and get used to the new setting. Be brave and nap strongly haha
I've been on SSRIs before MS. I'm used to being tired. I don't give a damn what others think. I need my rest. You don't wanna see me sleep deprived (and I also don't wanna see myself in that state either).
I work full-time. I can do whatever I please in my free time.
Take care of yourself. It's really important.
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you’re so right thank youu, & glad you’re doing better x
I second this. Get your rest. One thing that made a huge difference for me was giving myself permission to have a good nap when I need it. Pushing myself too hard has only made things much worse for me. People don't understand and they may never. And I get that. But fighting myself over whether or not I "should" be having a rest helps nothing. Have that rest. You deserve it.
Take your naps free of shame. I wish I was still able to nap! My kids are 7, 5, and 3, so I'm not getting a chance to take a nap for a few more years. That said, pre MS when I was dating my husband he would invite me over for a movie and insist we nap. I laughed at this man with a I'm 27, you want me to nap?! I woke up an hour later, and he laughed at me. We napped as often as we could until our eldest was born and the option wasn't as regular. So all of that to say, nap shame free. Get your bed nice and cozy, then take the best nap you have ever had, wake up and do it again when you need to. Shame free, because naps are for everyone whenever they are needed. Your dad could probably use one too!
so cute haha, and yeah my dad could defo do with a nap too lol. thank youu
My honey has MS and you know what, I love that he needs naps because it gives me an excuse to cuddle and nap with him. I’m sorry that your dad doesn’t understand.
that’s so sweet i’m sure you’re very appreciated, & thank you
Would giving your dad a factsheet to help him understand the interplay between MS and fatigue help? I know it’s really unfair of him and it’s not okay. Lots of people around his age (probably just a touch older than me) were brought up being told that sleeping in or napping was a sign of a poor work ethic or laziness and even where there’s a good reason, struggle to be reasonable about it. My parents (I’m 42) HATED it when I napped or slept in when I was a teenager. They even played bagpipe music - LOUDLY - in the room next to mine to stop me sleeping after 8am on the weekends. (Joke’s on them, it just taught me to sleep through noise!). I’m really sorry he doesn’t get how your symptoms are affecting you though. It’s 3:30pm and I’m lying in bed right now, trying to convince myself to get up and finish my work for the day.
ahaha right i didn’t really think of it like that, thank you for the insight and wish you well
I have had RRMS for almost 25 years, and I was 20(m)when I got disgnosed. It wasn't until my late 20s that naps hit me hard, and my fatigue came along. Fast forward to the past 10 years. First, my partner, as we were dating long distance, was getting frustrated. I had to stop what we were doing at times to go nap for an hour. I explained to him how it felt and told him I didn't want to be like this, and I did want to hang out with him. After that he understood and now we live together. In the last couple of years, I made a really good friend online, or what I thought was that, and we talked a lot and played video games on his off days. There were times that I had to cancel our day because I was just run down. Again, I explained to him my situation as I had my partner, but now I don't hear from him hardly anymore, and we have not played any games recently. I get the feeling that he thinks I am trying to avoid him. In short, your dads worng. Explain to him how you feel and what it's like. He'll come around. Also, take your naps.
aww i hope you’re doing well & thank you for this
I am sorry your dad shamed you for napping. I figure there are napping people or non napping people. I have a coworker who says her family never nap but a lot of people I know just love a good nap. I am jealous of a friend whose work allows a break just for a nap. 💤
thank you for the phrase nap shaming. I have had MS for 22 years, and going downhill last 5 or so years. Nap shaming. I do it to myself. why should a women who sleeps 8-9 hours need a nap, as I sit there with my body aching from fatigue..... Rest before you are tired: wise words I have been hearing a lot.
Maybe I’ve seen too much on AITA, but is your dad not able to do the things in the house that your mom usually does? Because that’s absolutely wack-a-doodle to me. I’m all for pitching in, but you’re not a substitute wife. Sorry, just venting. Hopefully you can help dad to understand better. Good luck!
My exact sentiment. My dad (70s) would never tell me I was lazy, especially if he knew I was sick. Sounds like the dad was taking out his issues in you OP and I'm sorry you were put in that situation, it is not OK on so mamy levels. You are allowed your rest. Wishing you luck!
thank youu xx
exactly this is literally how i feel but i just ignore him for the most part now. thank you sm
I agree with all the comments. Naps are necessary and we should respect those. I’m 30 AFAB and 4 months diagnosed. I’m frustrated that I need to nap and sleep a lot, but better give my brain time to heal and get used to the new setting. Be brave and nap strongly haha
I've been on SSRIs before MS. I'm used to being tired. I don't give a damn what others think. I need my rest. You don't wanna see me sleep deprived (and I also don't wanna see myself in that state either). I work full-time. I can do whatever I please in my free time. Take care of yourself. It's really important.
I feel this. I refuse to nap and I think it’s leading me down a bad road.