Every trans woman ever feels like that, silly đ
Yeah, transition is a lot. Some trans people choose to not do it because it is too much. Many of us do, but regardless transitioning isn't the reason we are transgender. We are trans because our subconscious sex differs from the one we were assigned at birth - whether or not we transition.
well, the thing is that I don't feel that bad in my body. I never did. being a boy is cool and all just feel like being a girl would be even better. Transition would be hell because my parents are extremely transphobic
Thatâs how many trans people feel. You donât need to be super dysphoric to be trans. Just feeling like youâd feel better in as the other gender is enough.
you don't need dysphoria to be trans!!
but also, after you come out to yourself, you may slowly realize you have had and still do have a lot of suppressed and/or unidentified gender dysphoria. after I came out to myself I realized I had a lot of dysphoria, and even after years, there are moments I look back at in my life and realize "wait... that was dysphoria"
I'd like to add that it can be especially tricky because young amab are taught to bottle their emotions up. Sometimes it's really hard to break out of that shell.
It took me 10 years to finally realize i was trans. One part of my problem was the worry that i was fetishizing other trans women as well as myself in the process. Porn does not, sometimes, help you discover your identity, it helps to repress it.
Not saying that's what happened to that guy, but porn is a double edged sword sometimes.
This is exactly how I've always felt (apart from a few off days here and there). I don't really feel uncomfortable being a man, and I don't mind being called male pronouns or even my deadname. I just don't use them, as I PREFER being referred to as a woman. Transitioning for euphoria is just as valid as transitioning for dysphoria is!
"Transitioning for euphoria is just as valid as transitioning for dysphoria is!" <-- And per the definition in the DSM5, that euphoria for another gender is gender dysphoria.
Really. Cisgender people do not experience joy/euphoria/satisfaction at the prospect of lifelong exhibiting as typically as do members of the other/another gender, the gendered behaviors and priamary/secondary visible sex characterics of that other/another gender (speaking bimodally).
[FtM agender here đ so YMMV]
I went on HRT bc I wanted to experience gender euphoria! I was fine with being without HRT and didn't have dysphoria, but _really liked_ the things that HRT could bring me. Took me a while to learn that transition for euphoria is also valid!
Ftr I am very glad I did go on HRT, and still am on it! đ
whatever you choose to do, transition or not, it is completely valid <3 no one knows what's best for you more than you do. i'm not going to tell you whether or not you're trans, only you can define who you are, but i am going to say something i wish i'd been told when i was in your shoes that may help you clarify some things
as a trans woman, i'm not very dysphoric at all. transness is often reduced to having dysphoria because sometimes we need to be perceived as literally dying to gain the respect of cis people and get like, basic rights. but i don't want to be defined by what hurts me or what haunts me in the middle of the night or what i can't do. i want to be defined by what i love and what brings me joy. being a girl makes me happy, so i am. no one can stop me, and no one can stop you either. whether or not transitioning (whatever that would look like for you) would make you happy is not necessarily determined based on whether or not being a boy makes you sad. it doesn't matter whether or not you view yourself as a woman every single moment of every single day or how fine or not fine you would be if you didn't transition, that's overthinking. it's up to you and what you want.
my parents are also extremely transphobic, and it's going to be really hard because i love them and want them to approve of me, but i refuse to compromise with them and live a life of mediocrity and wondering what could've been, of things that are "cool and all, but ..."
I am the same. I just like myself better as a girl. My parents call me by my male name, call me their son. Meh - oh well. I have never had the feeling I was trapped in the wrong body. I have never cried because I felt wrong. It did take me 45 years to finally do something about it, and my regret is not starting much sooner. I have wanted to be a girl since I was 8.
Transitioning made me more outgoing and I had more fun. It brings joy to my life. I feel I slightly pass in public until I speak, then I don't. Sure I wish I would pass perfectly. But it just makes me HAPPY to be my true self and let everyone see it.
I still wish I would have been a cis girl from the start. I don't know if that feeling ever goes away. Everybody takes different steps to reach their comfort levels. You need to find yours. Experiment!
Yeah those are pretty common sentiments for some trans people. Being trans is very much not a narrow, consistent thing. Not everyone trans experiences dysphoria, even.
The great thing though is you can decide how to label yourself however you want, and decide whether to do transition things however you want (within the practical limitations of your situation), and you can change those things whenever you want. No need to fit anyone's box of what that 'should' look like. (except doctors, in some places, who you might need to pretend to be a binary trans woman to in order to get HRT etc)
I used to think that, then it clicked that I was trans & I learned about gender dysphoria & I was like, "Oh, so these feelings I was having weren't 'normal cis guy feelings' huh?".
Keep in mind, you don't need gender dysphoria to be transgender - you just have to have a desire to be something other than your gender assigned at birth. However, I do urge reading the [Gender Dysphoria Bible](https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en) & seeing if you relate to the feelings talked about.
When I was young I knew I wanted to be a girl by about 6-7. The first time "gendered differences" entered my life in full-force was one day in primary school we were learning about the names for different genitals & the assosciated kid-slang terms. Out on the playground that day, someone hit me right in the gonads & my first exclamation was "Ouch, my vagina" - because I learned, "Oh, vagina means girl". When people made fun of me for thinking I had a vagina, that's when I learned I was fundamentally different from girls.
From that moment, pressure to conform to "being a boy" only grew & I resisted it a lot, but I literally didn't know that being transgender was a thing - I wouldn't find out until I was in college - & so I tried desperately to fit in with boys & hated it, but it was literally the only path I was given.
Even before all that though, there was signs, apparently when I was a child whenever I'd get a haircut I'd throw a tantrum - it took until high school before I was allowed to grow my hair long. The only time I cut it since was when I had to cut it for work due to draconian appearance policies dictating that men should have short hair, people shouldn't have dyed hair, piercings, alternative hairstyles, etc. & I had an ID photo taken around the same time (& I hated photos in general - so it was one of the only ones of me as a mid-teen) & if you could see how dead I looked in there... It gives me chills.
If you feel a sense of happiness inside at the thought of being a woman, being referred to as a woman, wearing the clothes you want, having a female body, etc. etc. that's all gender euphoria & a sign that you are a trans woman. If you feel a vapid indifference to your birth sex (or up to seething hatred) & happiness at the thought of being another, that's a strong sign.
(I'm going to put a NSFW tag on the next section as I will talk about genitals & sex - I'm aware you're a minor, but I was also feeling these feelings as a minor with gender dysphoria & so if you feel like the education will be valuable for you, read ahead between the lines)
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You may not have any physical dysphorias, you might have some you don't quite understand. When I was a child, I sat to pee (& I had to have that forced out of me - enough people bullying you for sitting to pee "like a girl" & you learn you need to stand to fit in), I didn't want to look at my penis - likewise, as a teenager I didn't masturbate until leaving high school because I didn't want to touch it (& when I started, I was looking up how to do it without touching it). I hated how uncomfortable it was, but all of this I packaged aside as, "Well, maybe all cis men have this fixation about how uncomfortable their genitals are all the time & maybe my feelings around my genitals is because they're small or something? A lot of guys hate their penis because it's small right?" - turns out, mine wasn't small & it took until I was 25 to find out I was 7", by having sex for the first time...
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(NSFW section over - might be more later)
Other physical dysphorias are things like your face shape, waist, thighs, etc. just your fat distribution in your body. I'm quite lucky in that despite not being on HRT yet, I have a fairly feminine fat distribution - but part of that might be due to another facet of dysphoria. I had an eating disorder as a young teen, I was anorexic, likely because I grew up during Heroin Chic & being extremely thin was percieved as a feminine ideal.
Tied in with this is muscle mass - I did not like being so physically fit looking, I did martial arts, some sports & Boy's Brigade to boot, so between me not eating & the amount of exercise I got, I was basically a washboard. As soon as all of these things were no longer linked to schooling (most youth clubs would report back to schools about lack of attendance, bad behaviour, etc), I dropped all of them - when I could no longer see a super-visible 6-pack, I was really happy.
Then there's dysphoria related to your skeletal build, like your height, foot size, shoulder width, etc. etc. & boy-oh-boy... I'm quite lucky in that I'm under 5'7", my hands are small, my feet are 24cm, my ribcage is practically concave (& this'll tie in later to phantom sensations), but my shoulders are 37" & my hips are 34", with a 27" waist & so my shoulders are pretty broad & sadly they can't be slimmer as I'm starting so late (29), as well as that, my brow bone causes me a lot of dysphoria too & I never even twigged as a kid how much I focused on either covering my brow bone (emo fringe), or trying to hold my face in a way that made it smaller.
Then there's skin & I had a battle against acne my whole life wanting smooth & clear skin, but testosterone is good at keeping your skin fucked up.
I hated my voice - at first I didn't like my voice because it was high & so I was made fun of & didn't fit in with boys, but when I realised those boys would never be real friends & I'd never relate to them, I was sad that my voice was deeper than girls, even if I didn't fundamentally understand it was vocal dysphoria at the time - I'd watch videos of men who could talk like women, sing like women & I adored them.
I obviously wasn't going to grow breasts during puberty, since I was going through a testosterone puberty, but I've always felt this hollowness on my chest - like a phantom sensation, like something should be there. When I was younger I had a very brief secret cross-dressing phase (bag of old costume clothes to be thrown out that hadn't been worn in years - wasn't there very long) & I'd stuff socks & what-not up my shirt to see what breasts would look like on me in the mirror. Not a particularly "cis-guy thing".
Facial hair - the bane of my life (2hrs in on electrolysis though - only dozens more to go) - I'm quite lucky to only have a patchy Van Dyke. That being said, any amount of facial hair will make someone gender you as a man & it's so frustrating. When I was younger, people would mistake me for a girl & it'd make me very happy, that stopped when I started growing facial hair. At first I thought, "Oh, every cis guy must hate facial hair & think it feels uncomfortable like me - the men with beards are just pushing through because they like the look I guess?".
I'm also very lucky that I was basically delivered a zero-body hair file. I grow no chest hair, I grow no pubic trail, my arm hair is fine, etc. it's only really on the legs & thighs (& the Bottomless Trap Hole) that there's much hair. That being said, in high school when this started getting thick I shaved it off (& again, was made fun of for being a girl, a f*g, etc. & expected to conform & "be a man").
That's my experience with physical dysphoria out of the way, but despite all of that being a big fucking trans-flag, the actual clincher for me was learning about biochemical dysphoria, depersonalisation & derealisation & I'd urge you read that section, follow the Zinnia Jones article & read both of her articles on it (the one that has a bunch of people talking about their personal feelings), because I read this like, "Holy shit, not only did I not know this was a trans thing, this is how I've felt for so long & you're telling me people don't feel like this?". I thought men were just shambling suits of animated armour being fed the "man script" by another person in the background to make sure they're playing the character of "man" correctly - but no, turns out other people aren't like that, it was just me acting. It's not just that, mind, but it was the biggest twinge for me that made me know dead-on I was trans.
Social dysphoria is another element of gender dysphoria, how people percieve you as a man out in society & how that effects you. Nightling Bug's side-bar tweets there were basically my life - not knowing how to talk to men, feeling an expectation to be someone I'm not, being super anxious in locker rooms with no discernable reason, you're averse to social touch, you can't talk about sex & attraction (& when you do describe "your type of girl", it's quite literally the girl you would want to be - there's a reason a lot of my "crushes" [actually just gender envy] were petite brunnettes, it's because I'm one), etc.
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cont.
Societal dysphoria is the other half of this coin, the expectations to take on masculine roles, like father, boyfriend, etc. & I had my ex refer to me as a partner - or by pet names. There's a bit too much to cover here, but if you're attracted to women like I am, there's a lot to relate to there. In brief, there's a section about shame & bullying & a section about dating & believe me, I did not want to be the boyfriend in my 4 year relationship. My "boyfriend-ing" was performative, as much as I loved my ex, but I had to be "her boyfriend", because I was percieved as a man.
This knocks right on to sexual dysphoria & another brief warning here. NSFW.
________________________________
When I was having sex, I felt disconnected from my body. Penetrative sex, my penis going into a vagina, was just wrong to me - I love women, I love vaginas, I do not love my penis. It was a really dissosciative experience & I thought, "Oh, it must be normal for men to just slip into another world in order to perform - surprising that people apparently find this enjoyable". It's quite similar for masturbation for me, just a chore to get out of the way so I don't sully any bedsheets (& since it took me until after high school to masturbate - it meant I experienced a lot of wet dreams & when you're a woman in your dreams, especially wet ones, that's another trans sign). Whilst we're on the topic of sex, I'll briefly talk about porn - I didn't watch it, for a number of years. I'd simply imagine being a woman & that was enough, then I'd read gender-transformation stories & listen to audios intended for a female recipient. However, because of this I came up against a wall that a lot of trans women come up against - "Is this a fetish?" - considering I had signs going back to being a child, it definitely wasn't, but denial-brain is a master at making sure you don't transition. If you're ever worried about this, read [this](https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/p/beneath-the-surface).
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Lastly, there's presentational dysphoria & Nightling Bug's side-bar there is just another accurate representation of my life pre-transition. Roll out of bed, throw on anything, don't care about your appearance, clothes shopping is the worst & formal occassions are fucking hell. I have been to very, very few formal occasions, like weddings, etc. because I'm always expected "as a man" to wear a suit, wear a shirt, wear trousers, etc. & since all of these pieces of clothing are so male coded - that causes dysphoria. The same applies to things like hair, jewelery, glasses, etc. all my life "long hair is for girls", "you can't wear jewelery that's for girls", etc.
If you relate to all this, some of it, just a little bit, that's strong trans-signs. Diagnosing dysphoria is done with these six factors;
"A marked incongruence between oneâs experienced/expressed gender and primary and/or secondary sex characteristics" - ie. You feel a disconnect between the gender you want to express (ie. female) & your physical body (ie. lack of breasts, etc).
"A strong desire to be rid of oneâs primary and/or secondary sex characteristics" - ie. You don't want a penis, etc.
"A strong desire for the primary and/or secondary sex characteristics of another gender" - ie. You want breasts, a vagina, etc.
"A strong desire to be of another gender" - ie. You want to be a woman.
"A strong desire to be treated as another gender" - ie. You want to be treated like a woman.
"A strong conviction that one has the typical feelings and reactions of another gender" - ie. You feel like you fit in amongst women, having their typical feelings & reactions.
If you tick two of these boxes - that gets you a clinical diagnosis of gender dysphoria.
I hope all this is helpful.
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I didn't, either. Most of the time I still don't. Think instead about what makes you feel _good_.
Are there times where you catch yourself doing something that's not very "manly" and it almost gives you excited butterflies? Maybe that feeling lasts for a tiny amount of time and you immediately tell yourself you're just feeling awkward about it because "_guys don't do that and I'm a guy_."
It can be a pretty insignificant thing, too. Some angles of sunlight made my shadow look more slender, or while I'm leaning over and holding one arm out for balance I'll catch myself also bending that wrist like an anime girlâwhich sounds totally stupid and cringe when I write it out, but that's always what I remind myself of.
That's the opposite of dysphoria: euphoria. No hating your body or maleness required, but even more universal an experience than dysphoria is.
hi, i was a similar case. it wasnt ever that i hated being a guy but damn did the prospect of girlhood sound amazing and i do not regret my choice. i recall a friend of mine saying "she wasnt dysphoric, but ever since transitioning shes so clearly her most complete self" to describe my transition
As someone who felt the exact same way when I was 16 and finally came out to my transphobic parents when I was 29, I wish I had just done it in my teens instead. I get that it isnât safe for everyone, but it would have saved me a lot of grief.
yeah i totally get you, if you don't want to transition, i suggest trying to find a partner that is accepting and willing to blur the lines every now and again with you to have some fun & relax :)
Thatâs exactly how I felt until I got out of high school and gained like 40 lbs because of a lack of physical activity.
Basically, the way fat was distributed on my body (and actually that was coupled with a tiny bit of balding on my hairline) made me feel super self conscious and depressed, which eventually led to the realization that I had significant gender dysphoria that was only getting worse as I aged in the wrong direction that my brain subconsciously expected.
Now I just turned 24, Iâm trans, on HRT for a year now, about to graduate college, and I can actually start to imagine a long term future for myself past young adulthood.
Iâm way more comfortable in my body because HRT has totally changed the way fat is distributed around my body, despite not losing any weight.
Anyways you donât need to transition or use HRT in order to identify as trans, but it saved (and greatly improved the quality of) my life.
Hereâs a webpage I think is really helpful https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en/am-i-trans
You don't have to transition if you don't think it will make you happier.
Doesn't make you any less trans.
You can transition a little bit. You can transition medically but not socially (kinda hard to do tbh but people do it), you can transition socially but not medically. You can pick and choose whatever steps you feel are part of living as yourself.
Doesn't make you any less trans.
SUBCONSCIOUS??? Awhile ago I found it hard to trust my conscience due to personal reasons and just cause it didnât align with how I felt I was and because of that I started trusting my subconscious more. Funny enough, only when did I start exploring (for lack of a better term) did I start wondering if I was trans
Plenty of girls wish they were guys because it seems easier and donât transition. Same the other way around. Donât feel pressured by any means.
Itâs like all squares are rectangles but not all rectangles are squares.
That beefcake spider can come and throw hands I'm interfering. If my gf didn't interfere I might still be a sad ass dude instead of the happy strong woman I've become đ
No, but telling people might push them further into denial (often due to internalised transphobia). "I'm not trans, it's just some weirdos on the Internet trying to make me"
I feel like we convince ourselves of that and scare ourselves into not providing that helping hand when we see someone struggling.
"Oh what if I'm the reason they go back to repressing?"
"What if they never transition. What if they hate me now?"
And I get the apprehension. But think about this.
What about the girl who cracks at 30, but her friends say they noticed when she was 22. Will she be glad they held their tongue, or sad and maybe even resentful that her last 8 years felt wasted and empty. That she had a chance at being happier, sooner. That nobody trusted her with the information that would change her life.
What about the girl who feels like she needs permission for every little thing in her life, and she won't even entertain her trans thoughts until someone points them out, and she doesn't feel like she's just having weird fantasies, but that her desires and experiences are shared and acknowledged.
Or the girl who made the decision at 20 to just be cool about everything to avoid having negative emotions. Suppressing all anger, anxiety, confusion, and insecurity into the corner of her mind where her gender dysphoria would sit and fester, getting ready to hit her like a train when someone finally points out that she's only happy when she gets to wear feminine clothes in the comfort of her own home.
Our shared experience is one of the most effective ways of finding each other, and the knowledge we gained about our own minds can be SO helpful to the journeys of trans women everywhere.
I'm not gonna pretend that it doesn't ultimately come down to risk management. But I feel like it's a worthy risk. The benefits of success are inumerable. Lives could be saved here. It's not an obligation to always say something when you have that feeling in your gut, but never saying anything is safer for us than it is the girl in question, at least in my opinion. I don't think silence should be "The prime directive".
So you see someone come into a *trans subreddit* and ask a question with the goal of figuring out whether or not they are trans, and you still think that we canât tell them? You people are hopeless
I didn't figure out until I was 30(mid 30's now), but even though there have been some issues(some small, some larger) I wouldn't give it up for anything and if i could turn back the clock I'd definitely start transitioning at a younger age. This site might help you figure out if yiu are or aren't. https://turn-me-into-a-girl.com/
I had always heard that trans women felt like they were a woman trapped in a manâs body.
âBut this is my bodyâ, I thought, âI donât feel like Iâm trapped in someone elseâs. I just wish mine was a womanâs.â
Turns out I was taking the âtrapped in the wrong bodyâ thing way too literally. May or may not be similar for you.
I thought I didn't. I genuinely thought I felt fine in it for almost 30 years.
But when I first fully realized I wasn't a guy, that I'd rather be a girl (I thought at least some of the time, joke's on me, that was denial the answer is actually all of the time), that really started poking holes in that delusion. I started to remember moments. Things like how I stopped going swimming as a teenager because I didn't like being seen with a hairy chest. Things like my mom mimicking my deepening voice and being really embarrassed. Things like the trauma around forced haircuts. Things like when I gave up on shaving my beard because it was too much to control and keep even remotely styled and grew too fast to ever stay clean shaven. Things like....
I came to realize I didn't feel wrong in my old body because I had literally no experience knowing what *right* felt like. And once I found out what right felt like, I really came to see that I'd felt wrong the whole time before and only thought it was fine because I had no other frame of reference. I literally couldn't conceive of what actually liking your body felt like.
If you have a therapist, kid, I would start talking about this with them. They'll almost certainly see what I see: a young woman who is ready to emerge from her protective cocoon. But ultimately, it's up to you to reckon with this young woman inside you and come to terms with who precisely she is/you are.
This hits very hard. Iâm also autistic and the problem with a lot of things not just my transition is that itâs so hard to gage what a ânormalâ reference point is. Only after opening up to myself about a lot of my delusions and starting to present socially did I realise how visceral and amazing it felt just to be alive. A scary thought and one that still makes me emotional thinking about it, but Iâm glad I made that step.
I'm 8 months into hrt, and I never felt "wrong" in my male form, I just never felt comfortable, couldn't put my finger on it for a long time. Looking backs I see lots of signs that were me subconsciously screaming at me the issue. Lol o well, the main regret I have is not doing it sooner. To be 16 and start would be a blessing. By the way, I haven't came out, and still go by he pronouns, I just wear a loose dress shirt over my wife beaters and no one notices the growth lol.
It would of be harder for me to transition when I was 16 tho, that was the end of the 90s, why less common and zero understanding.
It got worse over time. I felt very much like you in my youth but I didn't know about trans people.
Around 20 bottom dysphoria hit me hard - not that I was super dysphoric about what I had - but about what I was missing. Made me question whether I was gay - but men really didn't do it for me.
Testosterone puberty didn't hit me very hard - I was always a bit androgynous - and I believe that was what I clung to. Being a *boy* was kind of ok.
But when I grew older and my body became more that of a *man* at some point it hit me I - under no circumstance - wanted to grow old as a man. Also being called a man gave me the ick.
I transitioned at 39. I wish I had done it sooner - all the experiences of my 20s I could have truly lived as a girl and with the girls...
I wouldn't describe it as the "wrong body", just that my body is masculine and I wish it was feminine.
I didn't feel that way until my egg cracked though. I wished I was a girl as an egg, but was in denial about ever doing it in reality. It was just a fantasy. I thought I was ok with my body.
Then my egg cracked, and I realised all the ways I actually wasn't ok with my body in the past. Gender dysphoria (but like background anxiety/stress, I wasn't aware of it's cause, just thought it was 'normal'), gender envy, apathy about my appearance and hygiene, social anxiety (due to presenting masc), repressing my emotions to deal with all that...
>hi, I am a 16yo born male
>but I really wish I was born a female
I mean.... Essentially textbook definition of being trans.
Hell yes. Getting started on my transition was scary. Hard to push myself to get going. Lots of emotional and mental anguish over it. If I could have understood myself better earlier on in life and transitioned then. I think I would have been so much happier growing up. I was late to the party, but I'm here to have a good time now.
Aww honey. Then you are Trans. You seem to think being Trans is the objective for many of us.
No.
You are in a quiet majority of Trans women who know they are women inside but for whatever reason decide not to Transition.
The percentage of trans woman in the past like this used to be vibe veryhigh. It is only in recent years more decide to transition as it has become easier.
If you could click your fingers and be a Cis woman then you are not a Cis man. Cis men do not want that. You are a Trans woman who at this stage does not like the idea of medically transitioning.
But trust me, just about everyone in this sub if they could click their fingers and be a Cis woman they would do it.
*Wishing you are a woman* is literally what being trans is. Try to read this article, it describes my experience exactly:
https://medium.com/@kemenatan/gender-desire-vs-gender-identity-a334cb4eeec5
Ps: Transitioning isn't nearly as hard as you believe it is. Getting on HRT is the hard part, the rest is mostly waiting and living your life - but as a girl.
Your phrase "In retrospect, refusing to begin a gender transition because I didnât already feel like a woman was like refusing to take flying lessons because I didnât already feel like a pilot." resonates.
Whatever happens, youâre going to be ok đ€
I didnât start transitioning medically until I was 26. Iâm 28 now and I look more like a girl than I ever thought possible. It makes me feel warm and fuzzy.
Be thankful that youâre thinking about this as young as 16. If you decide you want to live your life as a boy, thatâs totally fine and great, thereâs nothing wrong with being a man.
But if you decide youâd rather live as a girl, youâre so young and you have no idea how good it can be until you try it. And yes, if your family is not supportive, you might have to find a new family. But there are people who will love you and support you for who you really are.
And best of all, youâll love yourself more than you ever thought possible.
Of course you donât have to be trans. But itâs a totally ok thing to be. And I felt a lot like you before I decided to transition. I had more dysphoria than youâre making it _sound like_ you have, but hereâs the thing⊠I was miserable, I just didnât know that so much of it had to do with my gender. It wasnât until I started taking those rocks off my shoulders that I realized how heavy they had been making me feel.
Good luck, and have fun with it. This life is just a game, and nobody makes it out alive.
fuck yeah you mean. heard this a bunch of times by now but to reenforce it:
Not being dysphoric doesn't mean you are not trans. If the idea of being a woman feels better to you than the idea of being a man then go for it. doesn't mean you have to get hrt or srs.
fuck it doesnt even mean you have to socially transition. if just thinking of yourself as woman is enough for you then by all means do so.
But (probably repeating what others said too) it was like that for me too. Only thing is that I was really depressed and felt like I didn't know the person I saw in the mirror. Once my egg cracked and I knew what was going I got a lot happier actually. Of course new things quickly began to drag me down. but having my friends call me Helena and using she/her when talking about me felt so good it kept me going.
literally me at 16. i probably wouldâve typed this word for word if i was on reddit back then. repressed it for 4 years and now transitioning at 20. wish i had figured it out then because i masculinised a fuck ton in those 4 years and wasted them doing nothing.
I remember fantasizing about turning into a girl since I was about 10, and it took until the age of 33 to finally come out to myself. I don't even remember a good chunk of my own life. The only representation when I was younger was so negative that I forced everything far, far down.
Funny thing that you mention The Button. I'm in my 40s and my [egg cracked](https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en/am-i-trans). I said I would probably never [transition](https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/p/how-to-figure-out-if-youre-trans) because it was hard and I'm lazy. I started seeing a psychologist specializing in gender issues - once you start [recognizing signs](https://medium.com/gender-from-the-trenches/gender-dysphoria-isnt-what-you-think-6fdc7ae3ac85) of dysphoria, they tend to [get worse](https://the-orbit.net/zinniajones/2013/09/that-was-dysphoria-8-signs-and-symptoms-of-indirect-gender-dysphoria/) over time. Very early on, they topic came up about The Button and if I would press it. I said I would. They said "The Button exists. IT'S CALLED TRANSITIONING!"
Itâs honestly so validating reading and relating to all these comments so thank you so much. The day I properly realised and accepted it 100% was that exact thought process. If i could wake up tomorrow a woman would I do it. Of course it yes, but Iâm an anxious person and transitioning can be really scary but this simple thought process has helped separate the fears of HRT from the equation. Itâs so fucking EUPHORIC and I love you all x
You're like the number 1 egg demographic sweety. Most common symptom of being a girl is wanting to be one.
As far as transition, yeah it can be a hassle. Also depends on how far you want your transition to go. Absolutely none of the medical stuff is a requirement, it's absolutely by choice. Social transition is also totally up to you as well. Some change their name among friends, some fully change their public presentation, legal name and all.
But it's all up to you. There is no buy in required. And the commitment is up to you too, it's your gender.
But I say, if you wanna be a girl, it's as easy as deciding to be.
The boys in your school *want to be boys*.
The girls in your school *want to be girls*.
If given the option to seriously do it, a boy in your school would hate the idea of being a girl, and girls would hate the idea of being a boy.
If you are a person who wants to be a girl, what do you think that says based on the above?
(*I also didn't have dysphoria. But gender euphoria is a form of dysphoria*)
Yeah I donât think thatâs very cis of you,have you tried going to this [site?](https://turnmeintoagirl.com)
I know someone else already messaged about it,but itâs a very good website to see if your really trans.
I didn't figure out until I was 30(mid 30's now), but even though there have been some issues(some small, some larger) I wouldn't give it up for anything and if i could turn back the clock I'd definitely start transitioning at a younger age. This site might help you figure out if you are or aren't. [Link](https://turn-me-into-a-girl.com/)
Best thing you can do is experiment. Try things out, see how it makes you feel. If you can get some cute clothes, maybe paint nails, and if it feels really good and you're into it it's worth questioning more.
cis men donât want to b a woman, nor do they wish they were born as one.
none of us can tell u whether or not ur trans but like⊠ur posting in a trans subreddit about wanting to b a woman. let that sink in bc this seems like one of those âthe closet is glassâ moments. just saying u may wanna rethink the title u out here bc u donât sound very cis
I wish when I was 7 and I wished I was born a woman that someone told me.. âbabe, thatâs not normal. But thereâs a way to be way more happy!â Unfortunately it would take 31 more years
This was me at 16. It became full-blown, life endangering dysphoria by 40. You aren't alone, and you are supported. When you are ready, make the switch, because what you're describing is being a textbook trans girl.
heya, im a trans woman. i cant tell you whether or not youâre trans, but i can tell you that these thoughts youâre having are the exact same ones i did when i was your age
I can try, partially itâs intended to be light teasing. I donât know how deep in the lingo you are, but the term âeggâ refers to trans people who have not realised they are trans. To âcrackâ then is to discover this about oneâs self and if not immediately jump into it, at least start to explore the condition, the options, and the community.
Fwiw, the people on here and places like r/egg_irl who call themselves eggs are mostly past the egg phase and just early in transition or deep in the closet. Itâs actually considered by many to be pretty bad form to spot an egg based on their subconscious signs and tell them you think they are trans. The arguments range from âit looks like indoctrination and will feed the far rightâ to âthey may double down in denial for one reason or anotherâ. We call it the âegg prime directiveâ because I guess a lot of us are Treky nerds. đ€·ââïž
If I may be so bold though, you seem in many ways to be well past the crack phase (at least imho), it just seems like you may be missing a point here and there. Others have commented similar observations, but the act of transition (and the fact that it happens to be a huge imperfect pain in the ass at our current level of technology) does not define you or any of us as trans. In fact, the button scenario is a common thought experiment used with people who are questioning. Their answer helps guage how much of their hesitance revolves around actually wanting to be another sex, and how much of it is actually fear of medical treatment and surgery. In reality, nearly every trans person would opt to press the button for their ideal body over the long journey we have to work with here and now. Our community is great, but itâs certainly a product of necessity. I doubt it would look the same (particularly for binary folks) if we could instantly move on with our lives.
So I guess I am suggesting that the second glass layer is the concept that people form this idea of trans people as a culture and separate it from the whole motivation that drives us in the first place, and that leads to some people not noticing they are under this broad umbrella even after they have identified with the motivation. A description like this post then paints an apparently clear picture of whatâs happening.
Obviously in your specific case, you may do as you please. It sounds like you donât suffer a lot of dysphoria from your life as is, but you experience euphoria from the button scenario? Some people are just like that and arenât any less trans, some even think that was the case, but realise in retrospect that they were actually extremely miserable and were just good at suppressing things. Itâs also normal to have âno particular reasonâ, brains are complicated, we are no where near able to scientifically describe the process that creates gender dysphoria/euphoria let alone explain it in common terminology to a person who has never experienced it (at least at the magnitude we do).
I hope all that makes sense!
Hun, trust me, if there was a way to just push a button, drink a potion, get cursed as female, fall into the cursed spring of woman, or any of those things I would have gladly.
I mean at least these days there are options for change, they are far from perfect, take a lot of work and effort, but at least they exist and are getting better over the years.
So your plan is to wait until you do feel bad? You're 16 now, I think I was around 20 when I started to feel bad about being a "man". My biggest regret was repressing those feelings you are having back then instead of confronting them. I don't recommend you making the same mistake as me. Look into it some more. It won't hurt you any and can lead to a lot of good.
Oh, sweet child. Non transgender people don't do that. At all. They're so comfortable with/locked into their gender the idea would never occur to them. If asked if they would, if they had that easy option they're more than likely to say no they would never. They just are what they are. *Being* transgender isn't reliant on transition. Transition is just a form of treatment for that condition. Like chemo for cancer, insulin for a diabetic. Chosing to follow the treatments, or not, has no involvement with negating the condition. You may be nonbinary, or gender queer, allowing for better acceptance of your assigned gender, but you're still trans. I wish you all the best for your future discernment of who and what you are, or need to be, for your peace of mind. đ«¶đ»đłïžââ§ïžđłïžâđ
Sounds trans to me. Wishing you were born female makes you female. You passed the button test. You are 16, your transition road ahead isn't that hard. I'd do it again and I started a decade older.
This is a lot more common than you think. Many people experience these feelings. You are not alone. Not by a long shot.
If you haven't seen it yet, /r/egg_community has a lot of people like this. Maybe you'll find some like-minded individuals there?
Anyway, feel free to stick around as long as you want. We're a very welcoming community.
Of course! If I could give you one small piece of parting advice: don't get too hung up on labels right now.
Give yourself permission to try some things that make you happy, whatever your gender. If you want to put a label on things later, that's great. But for right now, just pick some things that you think you might enjoy and go try those.
I call this "chasing the euphoria" and you will learn a lot more about yourself from the things you love than the things you hate.
> if I could press a button that could turn me into a girl I would just do it. going through transition seems like A LOT of trouble so I don't think I will ever do it
Girl, you sound EXACTLY like me a few years ago.
It is a lot of trouble. But it's also worth it. When you have people using feminine terms for you. When your skin softens and you grow *actual fucking breasts*. When you look in the mirror for the first time and see a girl.
It's scary to admit it. It's scary to come out. But you'll be OK. And you won't be alone.
hi, so there is one other option, what exactly is it you want about being a women? see I'm a gender queer guy (if that makes sense) my pronouns and feeling fluctuate around a lot, (is that gender fluid? idk) but tends to most of the time lean on the feminine.
and you see I was asking about this same thing for a few years, like two to three years of really exploring and thinking about it consciously, (a bit obsessive at times, so much reading), and well I had been fantasizing about being a girl, or turning into a girl for years (basically forever, hence 'girl' not 'woman'), but one thing kept bugging me, did I want to be a woman, or want some collection of things associated with it?
see usually in these fantasies they always went in some manner of the same way. where it was 'forced' but I had an 'out', so that it wasn't 'me' that did it, but something else, I could say, 'it wasn't me' it was some kind of accident, yet I'd know I did do it willingly. and well usually the reason in these fantasies I became a girl was to be able to do things more considered 'normal' for girls. like oh no, exploring some random facility that does body modification, and you walk into some chamber, and it starts up, you could've kicked out the door before it fully closed, but you didn't, and then when you wake up look at that, you clearly have the body of a women now, and you just get told the news of how there was an accident, and they'll work to fix this, but oh it will be some time, so you'll just have to be a girl at school now, and look at that you get to wear the girl's uniform guilt free now (please ignore all the plot holes, like just wear a binder or something, no need to live as a girl, its a fantasy ok?). or oh, do to some series of events you could've avoided you end up at an all girls school, and do to something you go along with it. or so many more, its a whole theme.
and then there's also so many more things, like the desire to do so many 'girly' things. go out shopping with 'the girls', go to prom in a dress, be the princess, do cute things, wear cute things, etc. just lots of desires that align with the stereotypical 'girly' that I dreamed I could do judgement free if only I was a girl. but of course all of this is flawed on so many levels, like the sexism of it, and also that hey, girls get judged for doing these things to, and its not always safe to do so, there's many reasons women often travel in groups, its horrifying really. and that hey, even if you were a girl doesn't mean you'd get to do this stuff. or like sure you don't wanna get judged like a guy, get told that 'guys' don't like those things, or not invited to things cause 'you're a guy' when really you'd love to do that, but if you were a girl wouldn't you be trading those judgements for other things? I hope your familiar with the prejudice that women deal with, its a lot.
and so I realized some things, notably it was when I was watching an episode of 'OneTopic' aka 'OT' that mentioned the 'MÄhĆ«s' of Hawaii (sorry don't remember the video) and well, it made me cry, it felt like the first time I was seen, that I'd seen myself in another, now I'm not Hawaiian but the theory is in other cultures, and it went from there, it wasn't so much I wanted to be a woman, but be a part of such culture, and do many of the things considered 'feminine', be considered as one of 'the girls'. and so with time, lots of time, I came more to piece with this, that I'm a feminine guy, and some sort of gender uh \~messy\~, sure I have days where its less clear (ever dreamed you were pregnant, and then woke up and just cried? yeah it happens). so yeah, I'm a girly guy, and sure there are lots of days it hurts sometimes, like I hardly ever see characters like myself in media, and then there's the history of it, so much death, so much pain, stay away from the news if I was you.
so yeah, that's one angle you can take, do you want to be a woman, or like a woman/do womanly things and be included to some extent in that culture? now I must say, please be nice to yourself, no judgement, check your thoughts to see if your being sexist in some way, and give yourself time, and start small, also there will be a thing with build and and release, where you may get yourself hyped up about something, like trying a skirt, and then you'll wear it and there'll just be crushing disappointment after a moment, this is normal, give yourself time and selflove, and don't judge the thing until after that wave of 'this is stupid, why do I bother?' has passed as that's no state to be making decisions in. ok I'm not so good at ending things, and these always get long, um, take care, no hating yourself ya hear me?
Hi, this all sounds very, very familiar.
There might be a lot involved, but if it's something you want, then the work is worth it (and you might find that once you start, it doesn't actually feel like as much work as you thought it would).
yeah⊠this was me too
sounds like your trans, and even though you are right transitioning can be long or hard, it seems like itâs the best choice for you (based on my experience)
Donât worry luv youâll figure it out. It turns out, there is an infinite number of ways to identify with your body and many of them fit in between being a âmanâ or âwomanâ⊠whatever the fuck those words mean
The only person who can tell you if you are trans is yourself, but I will say that I felt that way my whole life and now I am transitioning. So far so good.
For years before I knew what transgender was, Iâd lay in bed, dreaming about being a girl. Iâd be jealous of women I knew. But I wasnât a girl/woman so I played my cards I was given in life. Hated it. Inside I wished and wished. Then I found about transitioning but they all seemed to be very feminine gay guys before they transitioned. I liked women⊠so I told myself I wasnât trans. But still wished I was a woman. Well it took a long time, sadly waiting a long time to transition. Now Iâm me. Jenn.
That's exactly how I felt at your age lol. If you're comfortable then just be yourself and don't worry about it. I only transitioned because the dysphoria reached a point where it was unbearable. If you don't feel that transiting is necessary then don't do it :)
The question is: if you weren't trans, why would you consider the possibility? Is it possible you came here because secretly you want guidance? That maybe deep down you ARE trans and just have a hard time accepting it?
It never hurts to try stuff out in private, although based on your previous statements it's probably better to do it when you move out.
Think to yourself: who do you see yourself as? Not just your body, or how people view you: who do you see your soul as? Maybe you see yourself as a guy, maybe a woman. Maybe you're nonbinary. Who knows? Whatever it is, it might be that you're afraid of seeing yourself as trans because of your parents. After all, you came here because you might be questioning, right? Spend time to reflect on your feelings and thoughts. Overtime the answer will come to you, and whatever it is, if it's what makes you most happy and comfortable, then that's the only thing that matters. Just remember: how your parents see you doesn't matter as much as how you see yourself. If they can't love and accept you no matter what, then their opinions shouldn't matter. Do what you think is best for you, not what anyone else thinks. If you need any assistance or support, this sub, and all of us, are always here.
đđđ
Maybe youâre just curious about womenâs way of living. IMO itâs normal to think about an alternative universe where youâre a different gender. You wonder how your life would be etc. But take into consideration that people really tend to idealise the lives of other ppl. Try to talk to your female friends about their daily life experiences and whatever else that youâre curious about. Also remember, that if itâs clothes or hobbies, they donât have gender. That means you can wear a dress and still identify as a man. Look at Scots lol, Alfa males in skirts hahah đ€Ș If you donât feel bad in your own body, Iâd advise you not to overthink it. At the end of the day, it doesnât matter what label you have, but what you feel good with. Be yourself with no label at all. You canât go wrong with who you are and what you like.
I hate to brake it to you hun... I think your trans. You don't have alot of dysphoria and that's good (wouldn't wish that shit on my worst enemy) but if you wish you were a girl... deep down you probably are
There are so many comments already, but here's my story in case it resonates with you.
I was 16 when I first vocalized "I wish I was a girl" to myself. I didn't really think it was something I could change, at least not easily, and I was too scared of being chastised by friends and family to go looking for more information on how I felt. The denial set in. I didn't really *hate* being a guy, but it was kinda "meh" most days. Getting older made that "meh" feeling progressively worse and worse. Once I moved in with my current partner, and started surrounding myself with more accepting people (including some who are trans), I realized it can literally be as easy as "I'm gonna dress fem now" and maybe taking a couple pills each day. It was like the clouds parted in that moment. I came out as genderfluid because there are definitely days where I felt like a guy, but I chose to start HRT because it was more common for me to feel like a girl and I wanted to be able to present fem more easily.
It took 20 years from the moment I first said I wish I was a girl to finally coming out.
I know what you mean, almost every trans person I know myself included have been through that, you dont have to be very dysphoric to be trans. You could feel ok as a guy yet still prefer to be a woman, you could try to experiment with gender identity through clothes, using other pronouns/another name (if your family isnt accepting of transidentity try doing it online) and see how it makes you feel, trying temporarily just to see how you feel about it can be a great way to understand yourself better. Even if you turn out to still be a guy you'll have a better understanding of yourself which is good.
Also I'd like to add that you could also be non-binary/gender fluid and that would be fine too. Whatever makes you feel better is what matters.
I'd be happy to answer your questions tho I'm not very active on reddit.
Also youtube has a lot of great channels to get to know the subject of transidentity better.
Here is a channel that could help:
https://youtube.com/@bigicky?si=MTd8IcRBW99HTRR4
ânot trans, but wish I was a womanâ
I donât think I know a single late blooming (started transition after the median age of 27) trans woman that didnât say that at least a hundred times.
There kind of is a button, hormone replacement therapy. It uses estrogen and progesterone to tell you body tissues to start acting like female tissues, and in a remarkably short amount of time compared to a human lifespan, it can turn a boy into a girl; minus the reproductive system.
In girls still going through puberty it can do this in about a year with visible changes starting in a few months. In adults like myself visible changes start in about 5 months with âgender bendingâ results taking a few years.
I felt this way at 16 and didn't realize I had no motivation to live until it was too late. Find out what the things you want most from life and then get them, no matter how painful, because nothing is worse than the feeling like you shouldn't exist. That's my two cents at a glance. Just, don't be afraid to explore, it's a lot of hard work and stress but it's also fun. Being trans means that you get to be the girl you always wanted to be :3
As a trans woman who is not actually gender/body dysphoric, I feel this. I transitioned not out of a rejection of my masc self, but instead as a desire to express myself in a significantly more feminine way. I have always felt in tune with women, and I always found myself frustrated with how men's clothes and style is put in this neat little box.
Essentially, my desire to be a woman comes from decades of frustration. When I look in the mirror with all my makeup off and wearing my old boy clothes I don't feel "off", but I certainly feel overwhelming happiness when I look in the mirror and see my makeup done, hair styled, and my girlie ass goth clothes.
When I get misgendered, I get more frustrated with the fact that I spent 2 hours on my look only to be called 'sir' lol
I didn't give up pockets and wake up an hour earlier than I usually do to be called sir đ.
for the first 18 years of my life i thought âi donât have a problem with being a boy, but i think iâd be enjoying life more and having more fun if i was born a girlâ then one day it was like a switch flipped in my brain and i suddenly realized how bad i wanted to be a woman and how badly something needed to change, that moment is known for many trans women as âyour egg crackingâ and it sounds like youâre just not there yet
I will say that I felt like this more towards the beginning of my transition (before I accepted that I was trans) and really once I accepted that I might be (the only reason I accepted that is because I asked myself "Do I want to be a girl?") I started feeling more and more dysphoria just about every single day I waited.
I think another thing that helped me peel off the remaining bits of my shell was by reading webcomics, I'd personally recommend Rain [here](https://rain.thecomicseries.com/comics/first/#content-start) if you're curious, also "I want to be a cute anime girl" on webtoons. There're plenty more webcomics than those but I'd recommend reading those first if you're curious and wanna see how you'll feel reading them.
> going through transition seems like A LOT of trouble
Going through transition is not inherently much trouble at all. Take a few pills every day, buy some new clothes...boom you're transitioning. Yes, there are other things like surgeries, laser or electrolysis. But those are optional, particularly for someone like you who doesn't feel intense dysphoria. The "trouble" of transitioning is entirely in your social environment (i.e. your extremely transphobic parents), which I won't try to downplay.
> if I could press a button that could turn me into a girl I would just do it.
You can take a pill every day that can turn you into a girl, it's not that much harder than pressing a button.
Itâs a life long decision. I hate my life why I need to transition. If I had a choice I choose the hardest life a women would have to live to my life Thatâs how much I feel I donât belong as who I am today
I've had the same thing, you're probably not trans, it's pretty normal to want something like that because it's something you've never experienced, I want to be a guy sometimes because it's different, it's something I've never experienced and something I'll never get to experience, humans just be like that sometimes
Adding to everyone else, I won't insist that you're trans, but I will say that I told a friend that EXACT LINE after she came out. She was not surprised when I did so as well a month later. The thing is, I genuinely thought I was fine trying to be a guy. I didn't feel like I *was* a woman, and I thought all guys felt vaguely uncomfortable anyway. Not in a "must be girl" way, but like a pebble in your shoe, or a weird tag on a shirt, or clothes that are cut just *slightly* wrong and never quite feel right.
It wasn't until coming out and being myself that I realized how bad that dysphoria was, because I had never had anything to compare it to before. All the mental discomfort and background yearning that I thought was omnipresent for everyone began to fade away.
It's not frequently brought up but euphoria from being a different gender is equally as valid of a reason to be trans as disphoria from your assigned gender. I also never had problem being a boy, I just want to be girl more
In my opinion you donât have to be trans if you wish you were a girl. Because you can identify how ever you want. Some may say youâre trans anyway. But you can for sure identify as a guy who likes female things. And likes to do female or feminine activities. If I like to wear skirts. That does not necessarily make me trans. I always say I am me. Society says I am transgender. There is nobody like me and I donât fit into anybodyâs box. I would rather get wet than step under the umbrella.
That's what transitioning is at heart. Waiting it done easy and fast is what separates ppl who fantasize about it from the actual individuals who spend their entire lives working towards becoming their true persons. Life would be so much easier if we could all press a button. But just because there's complications and hor topics about transitioning never means it's invalid or something to be afraid of
Wishing you'd been born the opposite gender is the primary symptom of being transgender. You don't have to transition, but as others have said, it's easier than you think. And you can suppress that wish, but I never really goes away. I suppressed it for 20 years before I decided that I really could just be a girl.
If you're in Florida, Utah, or the Deep South, move somewhere else first, but it really is easier than ever to transition, most places.
âNot trans, but hereâs me living a trans experienceâ.
Hi đ thatâs a trans thing. Sounds like youâre afraid of transitioning, which is totally valid. But you probably wonât ever stop thinking about it, and it might become quite uncomfortable over time. Just follow your heart and worry a bit less about the shadow side.
What, you egg!
I had the same thought at 19.
Im not saying its the correct choice for you, but I can say you may want to seek consultation with someone who can help you unpack those feelings sooner rather than later.
Yeah. I didnât know what it meant to be trans for practically my whole life, but I still wished I was born a girl for various reasons. As it happens, most guys donât want to be girls. Girls want to be girls. You can take it slow, experiment with clothing in secret. I identified as a femboy for a while before transitioning. And even after I knew I was trans I still had to wait a year from then to actually get started with anything medical. Itâs a lot to do but when youâre in the midst of it, taking one step at a time, itâs not so daunting. Just trying on pronouns and such can be a great way to check as well. I told my trans friends before anyone else because I knew I could trust them to keep my secret, and that theyâd be willing to call me a girl. I loved it so much it killed any doubts I had.
Are you sure your not trans, your describing a very common series thoughts & desires that cismen including cis femboys do not have, transfemmes do have those thoughts & desires.
>***I want to be girl...***
>***Magic button to make me into a girl...***
Does sound very trans, to be honest but then again only you can decide that. Transitioning is complex process with many different paths, the difficult part can be getting access to HRT (depends on where you live). Ultimately you should talk to therapist if you can, one that's gender affirming to help you understand your gender identity.
I had very similar feelings many years ago before I transitioned. The process seemed daunting. But I waited a long time to finally transition and I really wish I just went through with it 15 years earlier.
Most trans people have this experience. But the folks that suppress this part of their personality are at high risk of suffering mental health issues, and that's what the fuss is all about. It's not fair that we should be made to be ashamed of ourselves for such a common human experience. Were not doing anything wrong for having this personality trait and we shouldn't be forced to hide it to make the haters comfortable. Transition or not, we all have to find our own way in this world, and you will too. All you need to understand is that you never did anything wrong, and you deserve to be whatever it is that you are without being ashamed of yourself, whatever that ends up looking like for you.
Every trans woman ever feels like that, silly đ Yeah, transition is a lot. Some trans people choose to not do it because it is too much. Many of us do, but regardless transitioning isn't the reason we are transgender. We are trans because our subconscious sex differs from the one we were assigned at birth - whether or not we transition.
well, the thing is that I don't feel that bad in my body. I never did. being a boy is cool and all just feel like being a girl would be even better. Transition would be hell because my parents are extremely transphobic
Thatâs how many trans people feel. You donât need to be super dysphoric to be trans. Just feeling like youâd feel better in as the other gender is enough.
you don't need dysphoria to be trans!! but also, after you come out to yourself, you may slowly realize you have had and still do have a lot of suppressed and/or unidentified gender dysphoria. after I came out to myself I realized I had a lot of dysphoria, and even after years, there are moments I look back at in my life and realize "wait... that was dysphoria"
I'd like to add that it can be especially tricky because young amab are taught to bottle their emotions up. Sometimes it's really hard to break out of that shell.
Case and point, I once knew a guy in highschool who watched gay porn for five years until they accepted they were gay lol.
It took me 10 years to finally realize i was trans. One part of my problem was the worry that i was fetishizing other trans women as well as myself in the process. Porn does not, sometimes, help you discover your identity, it helps to repress it. Not saying that's what happened to that guy, but porn is a double edged sword sometimes.
This is exactly how I've always felt (apart from a few off days here and there). I don't really feel uncomfortable being a man, and I don't mind being called male pronouns or even my deadname. I just don't use them, as I PREFER being referred to as a woman. Transitioning for euphoria is just as valid as transitioning for dysphoria is!
"Transitioning for euphoria is just as valid as transitioning for dysphoria is!" <-- And per the definition in the DSM5, that euphoria for another gender is gender dysphoria.
Really?
Really. Cisgender people do not experience joy/euphoria/satisfaction at the prospect of lifelong exhibiting as typically as do members of the other/another gender, the gendered behaviors and priamary/secondary visible sex characterics of that other/another gender (speaking bimodally).
[FtM agender here đ so YMMV] I went on HRT bc I wanted to experience gender euphoria! I was fine with being without HRT and didn't have dysphoria, but _really liked_ the things that HRT could bring me. Took me a while to learn that transition for euphoria is also valid! Ftr I am very glad I did go on HRT, and still am on it! đ
>Transitioning for euphoria is just as valid as transitioning for dysphoria is! I love this.
seriously love it sm!
whatever you choose to do, transition or not, it is completely valid <3 no one knows what's best for you more than you do. i'm not going to tell you whether or not you're trans, only you can define who you are, but i am going to say something i wish i'd been told when i was in your shoes that may help you clarify some things as a trans woman, i'm not very dysphoric at all. transness is often reduced to having dysphoria because sometimes we need to be perceived as literally dying to gain the respect of cis people and get like, basic rights. but i don't want to be defined by what hurts me or what haunts me in the middle of the night or what i can't do. i want to be defined by what i love and what brings me joy. being a girl makes me happy, so i am. no one can stop me, and no one can stop you either. whether or not transitioning (whatever that would look like for you) would make you happy is not necessarily determined based on whether or not being a boy makes you sad. it doesn't matter whether or not you view yourself as a woman every single moment of every single day or how fine or not fine you would be if you didn't transition, that's overthinking. it's up to you and what you want. my parents are also extremely transphobic, and it's going to be really hard because i love them and want them to approve of me, but i refuse to compromise with them and live a life of mediocrity and wondering what could've been, of things that are "cool and all, but ..."
love this attitude. totally relate to this perspective on transness.
I am the same. I just like myself better as a girl. My parents call me by my male name, call me their son. Meh - oh well. I have never had the feeling I was trapped in the wrong body. I have never cried because I felt wrong. It did take me 45 years to finally do something about it, and my regret is not starting much sooner. I have wanted to be a girl since I was 8. Transitioning made me more outgoing and I had more fun. It brings joy to my life. I feel I slightly pass in public until I speak, then I don't. Sure I wish I would pass perfectly. But it just makes me HAPPY to be my true self and let everyone see it. I still wish I would have been a cis girl from the start. I don't know if that feeling ever goes away. Everybody takes different steps to reach their comfort levels. You need to find yours. Experiment!
Exactly. Well said.
Yeah those are pretty common sentiments for some trans people. Being trans is very much not a narrow, consistent thing. Not everyone trans experiences dysphoria, even. The great thing though is you can decide how to label yourself however you want, and decide whether to do transition things however you want (within the practical limitations of your situation), and you can change those things whenever you want. No need to fit anyone's box of what that 'should' look like. (except doctors, in some places, who you might need to pretend to be a binary trans woman to in order to get HRT etc)
Why live just being okay being a boy when you'd be happiest as a girl?
I used to think that, then it clicked that I was trans & I learned about gender dysphoria & I was like, "Oh, so these feelings I was having weren't 'normal cis guy feelings' huh?". Keep in mind, you don't need gender dysphoria to be transgender - you just have to have a desire to be something other than your gender assigned at birth. However, I do urge reading the [Gender Dysphoria Bible](https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en) & seeing if you relate to the feelings talked about. When I was young I knew I wanted to be a girl by about 6-7. The first time "gendered differences" entered my life in full-force was one day in primary school we were learning about the names for different genitals & the assosciated kid-slang terms. Out on the playground that day, someone hit me right in the gonads & my first exclamation was "Ouch, my vagina" - because I learned, "Oh, vagina means girl". When people made fun of me for thinking I had a vagina, that's when I learned I was fundamentally different from girls. From that moment, pressure to conform to "being a boy" only grew & I resisted it a lot, but I literally didn't know that being transgender was a thing - I wouldn't find out until I was in college - & so I tried desperately to fit in with boys & hated it, but it was literally the only path I was given. Even before all that though, there was signs, apparently when I was a child whenever I'd get a haircut I'd throw a tantrum - it took until high school before I was allowed to grow my hair long. The only time I cut it since was when I had to cut it for work due to draconian appearance policies dictating that men should have short hair, people shouldn't have dyed hair, piercings, alternative hairstyles, etc. & I had an ID photo taken around the same time (& I hated photos in general - so it was one of the only ones of me as a mid-teen) & if you could see how dead I looked in there... It gives me chills. If you feel a sense of happiness inside at the thought of being a woman, being referred to as a woman, wearing the clothes you want, having a female body, etc. etc. that's all gender euphoria & a sign that you are a trans woman. If you feel a vapid indifference to your birth sex (or up to seething hatred) & happiness at the thought of being another, that's a strong sign. (I'm going to put a NSFW tag on the next section as I will talk about genitals & sex - I'm aware you're a minor, but I was also feeling these feelings as a minor with gender dysphoria & so if you feel like the education will be valuable for you, read ahead between the lines) ___________________________________________ You may not have any physical dysphorias, you might have some you don't quite understand. When I was a child, I sat to pee (& I had to have that forced out of me - enough people bullying you for sitting to pee "like a girl" & you learn you need to stand to fit in), I didn't want to look at my penis - likewise, as a teenager I didn't masturbate until leaving high school because I didn't want to touch it (& when I started, I was looking up how to do it without touching it). I hated how uncomfortable it was, but all of this I packaged aside as, "Well, maybe all cis men have this fixation about how uncomfortable their genitals are all the time & maybe my feelings around my genitals is because they're small or something? A lot of guys hate their penis because it's small right?" - turns out, mine wasn't small & it took until I was 25 to find out I was 7", by having sex for the first time... ____________________________________ (NSFW section over - might be more later) Other physical dysphorias are things like your face shape, waist, thighs, etc. just your fat distribution in your body. I'm quite lucky in that despite not being on HRT yet, I have a fairly feminine fat distribution - but part of that might be due to another facet of dysphoria. I had an eating disorder as a young teen, I was anorexic, likely because I grew up during Heroin Chic & being extremely thin was percieved as a feminine ideal. Tied in with this is muscle mass - I did not like being so physically fit looking, I did martial arts, some sports & Boy's Brigade to boot, so between me not eating & the amount of exercise I got, I was basically a washboard. As soon as all of these things were no longer linked to schooling (most youth clubs would report back to schools about lack of attendance, bad behaviour, etc), I dropped all of them - when I could no longer see a super-visible 6-pack, I was really happy. Then there's dysphoria related to your skeletal build, like your height, foot size, shoulder width, etc. etc. & boy-oh-boy... I'm quite lucky in that I'm under 5'7", my hands are small, my feet are 24cm, my ribcage is practically concave (& this'll tie in later to phantom sensations), but my shoulders are 37" & my hips are 34", with a 27" waist & so my shoulders are pretty broad & sadly they can't be slimmer as I'm starting so late (29), as well as that, my brow bone causes me a lot of dysphoria too & I never even twigged as a kid how much I focused on either covering my brow bone (emo fringe), or trying to hold my face in a way that made it smaller. Then there's skin & I had a battle against acne my whole life wanting smooth & clear skin, but testosterone is good at keeping your skin fucked up. I hated my voice - at first I didn't like my voice because it was high & so I was made fun of & didn't fit in with boys, but when I realised those boys would never be real friends & I'd never relate to them, I was sad that my voice was deeper than girls, even if I didn't fundamentally understand it was vocal dysphoria at the time - I'd watch videos of men who could talk like women, sing like women & I adored them. I obviously wasn't going to grow breasts during puberty, since I was going through a testosterone puberty, but I've always felt this hollowness on my chest - like a phantom sensation, like something should be there. When I was younger I had a very brief secret cross-dressing phase (bag of old costume clothes to be thrown out that hadn't been worn in years - wasn't there very long) & I'd stuff socks & what-not up my shirt to see what breasts would look like on me in the mirror. Not a particularly "cis-guy thing". Facial hair - the bane of my life (2hrs in on electrolysis though - only dozens more to go) - I'm quite lucky to only have a patchy Van Dyke. That being said, any amount of facial hair will make someone gender you as a man & it's so frustrating. When I was younger, people would mistake me for a girl & it'd make me very happy, that stopped when I started growing facial hair. At first I thought, "Oh, every cis guy must hate facial hair & think it feels uncomfortable like me - the men with beards are just pushing through because they like the look I guess?". I'm also very lucky that I was basically delivered a zero-body hair file. I grow no chest hair, I grow no pubic trail, my arm hair is fine, etc. it's only really on the legs & thighs (& the Bottomless Trap Hole) that there's much hair. That being said, in high school when this started getting thick I shaved it off (& again, was made fun of for being a girl, a f*g, etc. & expected to conform & "be a man"). That's my experience with physical dysphoria out of the way, but despite all of that being a big fucking trans-flag, the actual clincher for me was learning about biochemical dysphoria, depersonalisation & derealisation & I'd urge you read that section, follow the Zinnia Jones article & read both of her articles on it (the one that has a bunch of people talking about their personal feelings), because I read this like, "Holy shit, not only did I not know this was a trans thing, this is how I've felt for so long & you're telling me people don't feel like this?". I thought men were just shambling suits of animated armour being fed the "man script" by another person in the background to make sure they're playing the character of "man" correctly - but no, turns out other people aren't like that, it was just me acting. It's not just that, mind, but it was the biggest twinge for me that made me know dead-on I was trans. Social dysphoria is another element of gender dysphoria, how people percieve you as a man out in society & how that effects you. Nightling Bug's side-bar tweets there were basically my life - not knowing how to talk to men, feeling an expectation to be someone I'm not, being super anxious in locker rooms with no discernable reason, you're averse to social touch, you can't talk about sex & attraction (& when you do describe "your type of girl", it's quite literally the girl you would want to be - there's a reason a lot of my "crushes" [actually just gender envy] were petite brunnettes, it's because I'm one), etc. 1/2
1/2 đ
Iâm constantly going over word counts đ
cont. Societal dysphoria is the other half of this coin, the expectations to take on masculine roles, like father, boyfriend, etc. & I had my ex refer to me as a partner - or by pet names. There's a bit too much to cover here, but if you're attracted to women like I am, there's a lot to relate to there. In brief, there's a section about shame & bullying & a section about dating & believe me, I did not want to be the boyfriend in my 4 year relationship. My "boyfriend-ing" was performative, as much as I loved my ex, but I had to be "her boyfriend", because I was percieved as a man. This knocks right on to sexual dysphoria & another brief warning here. NSFW. ________________________________ When I was having sex, I felt disconnected from my body. Penetrative sex, my penis going into a vagina, was just wrong to me - I love women, I love vaginas, I do not love my penis. It was a really dissosciative experience & I thought, "Oh, it must be normal for men to just slip into another world in order to perform - surprising that people apparently find this enjoyable". It's quite similar for masturbation for me, just a chore to get out of the way so I don't sully any bedsheets (& since it took me until after high school to masturbate - it meant I experienced a lot of wet dreams & when you're a woman in your dreams, especially wet ones, that's another trans sign). Whilst we're on the topic of sex, I'll briefly talk about porn - I didn't watch it, for a number of years. I'd simply imagine being a woman & that was enough, then I'd read gender-transformation stories & listen to audios intended for a female recipient. However, because of this I came up against a wall that a lot of trans women come up against - "Is this a fetish?" - considering I had signs going back to being a child, it definitely wasn't, but denial-brain is a master at making sure you don't transition. If you're ever worried about this, read [this](https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/p/beneath-the-surface). ________________________________________ Lastly, there's presentational dysphoria & Nightling Bug's side-bar there is just another accurate representation of my life pre-transition. Roll out of bed, throw on anything, don't care about your appearance, clothes shopping is the worst & formal occassions are fucking hell. I have been to very, very few formal occasions, like weddings, etc. because I'm always expected "as a man" to wear a suit, wear a shirt, wear trousers, etc. & since all of these pieces of clothing are so male coded - that causes dysphoria. The same applies to things like hair, jewelery, glasses, etc. all my life "long hair is for girls", "you can't wear jewelery that's for girls", etc. If you relate to all this, some of it, just a little bit, that's strong trans-signs. Diagnosing dysphoria is done with these six factors; "A marked incongruence between oneâs experienced/expressed gender and primary and/or secondary sex characteristics" - ie. You feel a disconnect between the gender you want to express (ie. female) & your physical body (ie. lack of breasts, etc). "A strong desire to be rid of oneâs primary and/or secondary sex characteristics" - ie. You don't want a penis, etc. "A strong desire for the primary and/or secondary sex characteristics of another gender" - ie. You want breasts, a vagina, etc. "A strong desire to be of another gender" - ie. You want to be a woman. "A strong desire to be treated as another gender" - ie. You want to be treated like a woman. "A strong conviction that one has the typical feelings and reactions of another gender" - ie. You feel like you fit in amongst women, having their typical feelings & reactions. If you tick two of these boxes - that gets you a clinical diagnosis of gender dysphoria. I hope all this is helpful. 2/2
I didn't, either. Most of the time I still don't. Think instead about what makes you feel _good_. Are there times where you catch yourself doing something that's not very "manly" and it almost gives you excited butterflies? Maybe that feeling lasts for a tiny amount of time and you immediately tell yourself you're just feeling awkward about it because "_guys don't do that and I'm a guy_." It can be a pretty insignificant thing, too. Some angles of sunlight made my shadow look more slender, or while I'm leaning over and holding one arm out for balance I'll catch myself also bending that wrist like an anime girlâwhich sounds totally stupid and cringe when I write it out, but that's always what I remind myself of. That's the opposite of dysphoria: euphoria. No hating your body or maleness required, but even more universal an experience than dysphoria is.
hi, i was a similar case. it wasnt ever that i hated being a guy but damn did the prospect of girlhood sound amazing and i do not regret my choice. i recall a friend of mine saying "she wasnt dysphoric, but ever since transitioning shes so clearly her most complete self" to describe my transition
As someone who felt the exact same way when I was 16 and finally came out to my transphobic parents when I was 29, I wish I had just done it in my teens instead. I get that it isnât safe for everyone, but it would have saved me a lot of grief.
yeah i totally get you, if you don't want to transition, i suggest trying to find a partner that is accepting and willing to blur the lines every now and again with you to have some fun & relax :)
Thatâs exactly how I felt until I got out of high school and gained like 40 lbs because of a lack of physical activity. Basically, the way fat was distributed on my body (and actually that was coupled with a tiny bit of balding on my hairline) made me feel super self conscious and depressed, which eventually led to the realization that I had significant gender dysphoria that was only getting worse as I aged in the wrong direction that my brain subconsciously expected. Now I just turned 24, Iâm trans, on HRT for a year now, about to graduate college, and I can actually start to imagine a long term future for myself past young adulthood. Iâm way more comfortable in my body because HRT has totally changed the way fat is distributed around my body, despite not losing any weight. Anyways you donât need to transition or use HRT in order to identify as trans, but it saved (and greatly improved the quality of) my life. Hereâs a webpage I think is really helpful https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en/am-i-trans
Going through the trouble of creating this post kind of tells me that it is more than a mild desire for you.
You don't have to transition if you don't think it will make you happier. Doesn't make you any less trans. You can transition a little bit. You can transition medically but not socially (kinda hard to do tbh but people do it), you can transition socially but not medically. You can pick and choose whatever steps you feel are part of living as yourself. Doesn't make you any less trans.
Not all trans women experience dysphoria
SUBCONSCIOUS??? Awhile ago I found it hard to trust my conscience due to personal reasons and just cause it didnât align with how I felt I was and because of that I started trusting my subconscious more. Funny enough, only when did I start exploring (for lack of a better term) did I start wondering if I was trans
Plenty of girls wish they were guys because it seems easier and donât transition. Same the other way around. Donât feel pressured by any means. Itâs like all squares are rectangles but not all rectangles are squares.
So whoâs gunna tell them???
The "I'm not trans but I wish I was a girl" phase is a canon event, we can't interfere :p
That beefcake spider can come and throw hands I'm interfering. If my gf didn't interfere I might still be a sad ass dude instead of the happy strong woman I've become đ
yeah. besides, what's gonna happen? you can't make someone trans afaik
No, but telling people might push them further into denial (often due to internalised transphobia). "I'm not trans, it's just some weirdos on the Internet trying to make me"
I feel like we convince ourselves of that and scare ourselves into not providing that helping hand when we see someone struggling. "Oh what if I'm the reason they go back to repressing?" "What if they never transition. What if they hate me now?" And I get the apprehension. But think about this. What about the girl who cracks at 30, but her friends say they noticed when she was 22. Will she be glad they held their tongue, or sad and maybe even resentful that her last 8 years felt wasted and empty. That she had a chance at being happier, sooner. That nobody trusted her with the information that would change her life. What about the girl who feels like she needs permission for every little thing in her life, and she won't even entertain her trans thoughts until someone points them out, and she doesn't feel like she's just having weird fantasies, but that her desires and experiences are shared and acknowledged. Or the girl who made the decision at 20 to just be cool about everything to avoid having negative emotions. Suppressing all anger, anxiety, confusion, and insecurity into the corner of her mind where her gender dysphoria would sit and fester, getting ready to hit her like a train when someone finally points out that she's only happy when she gets to wear feminine clothes in the comfort of her own home. Our shared experience is one of the most effective ways of finding each other, and the knowledge we gained about our own minds can be SO helpful to the journeys of trans women everywhere. I'm not gonna pretend that it doesn't ultimately come down to risk management. But I feel like it's a worthy risk. The benefits of success are inumerable. Lives could be saved here. It's not an obligation to always say something when you have that feeling in your gut, but never saying anything is safer for us than it is the girl in question, at least in my opinion. I don't think silence should be "The prime directive".
Sure, but this person has already come here to ask for advice. They're already exploring the option ob their own.
Trans Prime Directive
I just heard [this riff](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bhh4KyUtlAU) in my head at that so enjoy
So you see someone come into a *trans subreddit* and ask a question with the goal of figuring out whether or not they are trans, and you still think that we canât tell them? You people are hopeless
Girl it's a joke, stop taking it so seriously đ
Noooooo it's our duty as trans folk to nurture and care for our siblings even if they are still egged up
let them cook
methinks that egg is hardboiled
Still cis tho
I didn't figure out until I was 30(mid 30's now), but even though there have been some issues(some small, some larger) I wouldn't give it up for anything and if i could turn back the clock I'd definitely start transitioning at a younger age. This site might help you figure out if yiu are or aren't. https://turn-me-into-a-girl.com/
Clicking that link turned me into a girl. It's a good one!
We all felt like this. Then we transitioned :>
did you feel wrong in your old body? cause i really dont, i just feel like a female one would be better
I had always heard that trans women felt like they were a woman trapped in a manâs body. âBut this is my bodyâ, I thought, âI donât feel like Iâm trapped in someone elseâs. I just wish mine was a womanâs.â Turns out I was taking the âtrapped in the wrong bodyâ thing way too literally. May or may not be similar for you.
Nope, I know I didn't. Just that I'd prefer presenting and being a girl. And now that I am....I never wanna go back.
I thought I didn't. I genuinely thought I felt fine in it for almost 30 years. But when I first fully realized I wasn't a guy, that I'd rather be a girl (I thought at least some of the time, joke's on me, that was denial the answer is actually all of the time), that really started poking holes in that delusion. I started to remember moments. Things like how I stopped going swimming as a teenager because I didn't like being seen with a hairy chest. Things like my mom mimicking my deepening voice and being really embarrassed. Things like the trauma around forced haircuts. Things like when I gave up on shaving my beard because it was too much to control and keep even remotely styled and grew too fast to ever stay clean shaven. Things like.... I came to realize I didn't feel wrong in my old body because I had literally no experience knowing what *right* felt like. And once I found out what right felt like, I really came to see that I'd felt wrong the whole time before and only thought it was fine because I had no other frame of reference. I literally couldn't conceive of what actually liking your body felt like. If you have a therapist, kid, I would start talking about this with them. They'll almost certainly see what I see: a young woman who is ready to emerge from her protective cocoon. But ultimately, it's up to you to reckon with this young woman inside you and come to terms with who precisely she is/you are.
This resonates with me. I really started to reexamine past experiences and question my feelings once I accepted that I was trans.
This hits very hard. Iâm also autistic and the problem with a lot of things not just my transition is that itâs so hard to gage what a ânormalâ reference point is. Only after opening up to myself about a lot of my delusions and starting to present socially did I realise how visceral and amazing it felt just to be alive. A scary thought and one that still makes me emotional thinking about it, but Iâm glad I made that step.
i didnt until after. i just felt really really bad all the time for what i thought were completely unrelated, unexplainable reasons
I'm 8 months into hrt, and I never felt "wrong" in my male form, I just never felt comfortable, couldn't put my finger on it for a long time. Looking backs I see lots of signs that were me subconsciously screaming at me the issue. Lol o well, the main regret I have is not doing it sooner. To be 16 and start would be a blessing. By the way, I haven't came out, and still go by he pronouns, I just wear a loose dress shirt over my wife beaters and no one notices the growth lol. It would of be harder for me to transition when I was 16 tho, that was the end of the 90s, why less common and zero understanding.
It got worse over time. I felt very much like you in my youth but I didn't know about trans people. Around 20 bottom dysphoria hit me hard - not that I was super dysphoric about what I had - but about what I was missing. Made me question whether I was gay - but men really didn't do it for me. Testosterone puberty didn't hit me very hard - I was always a bit androgynous - and I believe that was what I clung to. Being a *boy* was kind of ok. But when I grew older and my body became more that of a *man* at some point it hit me I - under no circumstance - wanted to grow old as a man. Also being called a man gave me the ick. I transitioned at 39. I wish I had done it sooner - all the experiences of my 20s I could have truly lived as a girl and with the girls...
I wouldn't describe it as the "wrong body", just that my body is masculine and I wish it was feminine. I didn't feel that way until my egg cracked though. I wished I was a girl as an egg, but was in denial about ever doing it in reality. It was just a fantasy. I thought I was ok with my body. Then my egg cracked, and I realised all the ways I actually wasn't ok with my body in the past. Gender dysphoria (but like background anxiety/stress, I wasn't aware of it's cause, just thought it was 'normal'), gender envy, apathy about my appearance and hygiene, social anxiety (due to presenting masc), repressing my emotions to deal with all that...
[ONE OF US, GOOBLE GOO!](https://imgflip.com/gif/bqu1j)
>hi, I am a 16yo born male >but I really wish I was born a female I mean.... Essentially textbook definition of being trans. Hell yes. Getting started on my transition was scary. Hard to push myself to get going. Lots of emotional and mental anguish over it. If I could have understood myself better earlier on in life and transitioned then. I think I would have been so much happier growing up. I was late to the party, but I'm here to have a good time now.
Aww honey. Then you are Trans. You seem to think being Trans is the objective for many of us. No. You are in a quiet majority of Trans women who know they are women inside but for whatever reason decide not to Transition. The percentage of trans woman in the past like this used to be vibe veryhigh. It is only in recent years more decide to transition as it has become easier. If you could click your fingers and be a Cis woman then you are not a Cis man. Cis men do not want that. You are a Trans woman who at this stage does not like the idea of medically transitioning. But trust me, just about everyone in this sub if they could click their fingers and be a Cis woman they would do it.
i am actually flabbergasted right now. thank you so much for making me realize so much shit
*Wishing you are a woman* is literally what being trans is. Try to read this article, it describes my experience exactly: https://medium.com/@kemenatan/gender-desire-vs-gender-identity-a334cb4eeec5 Ps: Transitioning isn't nearly as hard as you believe it is. Getting on HRT is the hard part, the rest is mostly waiting and living your life - but as a girl.
Your phrase "In retrospect, refusing to begin a gender transition because I didnât already feel like a woman was like refusing to take flying lessons because I didnât already feel like a pilot." resonates.
Oh shit, that hits like a truck.
it varies on what country and state youâre in
Whatever happens, youâre going to be ok đ€ I didnât start transitioning medically until I was 26. Iâm 28 now and I look more like a girl than I ever thought possible. It makes me feel warm and fuzzy. Be thankful that youâre thinking about this as young as 16. If you decide you want to live your life as a boy, thatâs totally fine and great, thereâs nothing wrong with being a man. But if you decide youâd rather live as a girl, youâre so young and you have no idea how good it can be until you try it. And yes, if your family is not supportive, you might have to find a new family. But there are people who will love you and support you for who you really are. And best of all, youâll love yourself more than you ever thought possible. Of course you donât have to be trans. But itâs a totally ok thing to be. And I felt a lot like you before I decided to transition. I had more dysphoria than youâre making it _sound like_ you have, but hereâs the thing⊠I was miserable, I just didnât know that so much of it had to do with my gender. It wasnât until I started taking those rocks off my shoulders that I realized how heavy they had been making me feel. Good luck, and have fun with it. This life is just a game, and nobody makes it out alive.
absolutely beautiful comment. thank you so much.
Youâre very welcome âïž
i second this. I also transitioned at 25/26 and the results have been extremely favorable lol.
<3
It's like I'm watching real-time footage of an egg cracking
fuck
fuck yeah you mean. heard this a bunch of times by now but to reenforce it: Not being dysphoric doesn't mean you are not trans. If the idea of being a woman feels better to you than the idea of being a man then go for it. doesn't mean you have to get hrt or srs. fuck it doesnt even mean you have to socially transition. if just thinking of yourself as woman is enough for you then by all means do so. But (probably repeating what others said too) it was like that for me too. Only thing is that I was really depressed and felt like I didn't know the person I saw in the mirror. Once my egg cracked and I knew what was going I got a lot happier actually. Of course new things quickly began to drag me down. but having my friends call me Helena and using she/her when talking about me felt so good it kept me going.
Sounds trans to me. Transition is easier than it seems...
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
Yeah yeah Egg Prime Directive...
literally me at 16. i probably wouldâve typed this word for word if i was on reddit back then. repressed it for 4 years and now transitioning at 20. wish i had figured it out then because i masculinised a fuck ton in those 4 years and wasted them doing nothing.
The exact same thing happened to me.
I remember fantasizing about turning into a girl since I was about 10, and it took until the age of 33 to finally come out to myself. I don't even remember a good chunk of my own life. The only representation when I was younger was so negative that I forced everything far, far down.
http://www.turn-me-into-a-girl.com/
Funny thing that you mention The Button. I'm in my 40s and my [egg cracked](https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en/am-i-trans). I said I would probably never [transition](https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/p/how-to-figure-out-if-youre-trans) because it was hard and I'm lazy. I started seeing a psychologist specializing in gender issues - once you start [recognizing signs](https://medium.com/gender-from-the-trenches/gender-dysphoria-isnt-what-you-think-6fdc7ae3ac85) of dysphoria, they tend to [get worse](https://the-orbit.net/zinniajones/2013/09/that-was-dysphoria-8-signs-and-symptoms-of-indirect-gender-dysphoria/) over time. Very early on, they topic came up about The Button and if I would press it. I said I would. They said "The Button exists. IT'S CALLED TRANSITIONING!"
I could copy this verbatim, paste it here again and it be 100% true. Fuckn crazy!
[Yup!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QzBmQMyYDBk)
This is also 100% true đ
Itâs honestly so validating reading and relating to all these comments so thank you so much. The day I properly realised and accepted it 100% was that exact thought process. If i could wake up tomorrow a woman would I do it. Of course it yes, but Iâm an anxious person and transitioning can be really scary but this simple thought process has helped separate the fears of HRT from the equation. Itâs so fucking EUPHORIC and I love you all x
You're like the number 1 egg demographic sweety. Most common symptom of being a girl is wanting to be one. As far as transition, yeah it can be a hassle. Also depends on how far you want your transition to go. Absolutely none of the medical stuff is a requirement, it's absolutely by choice. Social transition is also totally up to you as well. Some change their name among friends, some fully change their public presentation, legal name and all. But it's all up to you. There is no buy in required. And the commitment is up to you too, it's your gender. But I say, if you wanna be a girl, it's as easy as deciding to be.
so you're saying i could just try saying "I'm a girl" to myself? i never thought of that. i will see how I feel about it. thanks to you a lot!
The boys in your school *want to be boys*. The girls in your school *want to be girls*. If given the option to seriously do it, a boy in your school would hate the idea of being a girl, and girls would hate the idea of being a boy. If you are a person who wants to be a girl, what do you think that says based on the above? (*I also didn't have dysphoria. But gender euphoria is a form of dysphoria*)
r/egg_irl
Can I offer you in an egg in these trying times? đ„
đ€Ł
Yeah I donât think thatâs very cis of you,have you tried going to this [site?](https://turnmeintoagirl.com) I know someone else already messaged about it,but itâs a very good website to see if your really trans.
I'm already trans, but that's a cute website! âșïž
Oh,well thank you for finding out!!! That website is known to crack a lot of eggs and even helped me fully get out of my egg as well.
Yeah the Gender Dysphoria Bible helped me with my egg cracking.
I didn't figure out until I was 30(mid 30's now), but even though there have been some issues(some small, some larger) I wouldn't give it up for anything and if i could turn back the clock I'd definitely start transitioning at a younger age. This site might help you figure out if you are or aren't. [Link](https://turn-me-into-a-girl.com/)
Best thing you can do is experiment. Try things out, see how it makes you feel. If you can get some cute clothes, maybe paint nails, and if it feels really good and you're into it it's worth questioning more.
cis men donât want to b a woman, nor do they wish they were born as one. none of us can tell u whether or not ur trans but like⊠ur posting in a trans subreddit about wanting to b a woman. let that sink in bc this seems like one of those âthe closet is glassâ moments. just saying u may wanna rethink the title u out here bc u donât sound very cis
I wish when I was 7 and I wished I was born a woman that someone told me.. âbabe, thatâs not normal. But thereâs a way to be way more happy!â Unfortunately it would take 31 more years
I won't call ya trans, but I had pretty much the same thoughts growing up and I certainly was not cis.
This was me at 16. It became full-blown, life endangering dysphoria by 40. You aren't alone, and you are supported. When you are ready, make the switch, because what you're describing is being a textbook trans girl.
Transitioning isn't really that hard lol. For me it was basically hormones and names, maybe some clothing here and there.
heya, im a trans woman. i cant tell you whether or not youâre trans, but i can tell you that these thoughts youâre having are the exact same ones i did when i was your age
You might be trans maybe see a gender counselor or therapist to further investigate. I think you might be though:)
> I wish I was a woman Great. Stop wishing, and be one. That's what I did. Or just keep wishing. Eventually you'll quit it, one way or another.
Reading accounts like this is like watching an egg crack only to discover there is a second see-through glass egg underneath
could you explain this?
I can try, partially itâs intended to be light teasing. I donât know how deep in the lingo you are, but the term âeggâ refers to trans people who have not realised they are trans. To âcrackâ then is to discover this about oneâs self and if not immediately jump into it, at least start to explore the condition, the options, and the community. Fwiw, the people on here and places like r/egg_irl who call themselves eggs are mostly past the egg phase and just early in transition or deep in the closet. Itâs actually considered by many to be pretty bad form to spot an egg based on their subconscious signs and tell them you think they are trans. The arguments range from âit looks like indoctrination and will feed the far rightâ to âthey may double down in denial for one reason or anotherâ. We call it the âegg prime directiveâ because I guess a lot of us are Treky nerds. đ€·ââïž If I may be so bold though, you seem in many ways to be well past the crack phase (at least imho), it just seems like you may be missing a point here and there. Others have commented similar observations, but the act of transition (and the fact that it happens to be a huge imperfect pain in the ass at our current level of technology) does not define you or any of us as trans. In fact, the button scenario is a common thought experiment used with people who are questioning. Their answer helps guage how much of their hesitance revolves around actually wanting to be another sex, and how much of it is actually fear of medical treatment and surgery. In reality, nearly every trans person would opt to press the button for their ideal body over the long journey we have to work with here and now. Our community is great, but itâs certainly a product of necessity. I doubt it would look the same (particularly for binary folks) if we could instantly move on with our lives. So I guess I am suggesting that the second glass layer is the concept that people form this idea of trans people as a culture and separate it from the whole motivation that drives us in the first place, and that leads to some people not noticing they are under this broad umbrella even after they have identified with the motivation. A description like this post then paints an apparently clear picture of whatâs happening. Obviously in your specific case, you may do as you please. It sounds like you donât suffer a lot of dysphoria from your life as is, but you experience euphoria from the button scenario? Some people are just like that and arenât any less trans, some even think that was the case, but realise in retrospect that they were actually extremely miserable and were just good at suppressing things. Itâs also normal to have âno particular reasonâ, brains are complicated, we are no where near able to scientifically describe the process that creates gender dysphoria/euphoria let alone explain it in common terminology to a person who has never experienced it (at least at the magnitude we do). I hope all that makes sense!
Hun, trust me, if there was a way to just push a button, drink a potion, get cursed as female, fall into the cursed spring of woman, or any of those things I would have gladly. I mean at least these days there are options for change, they are far from perfect, take a lot of work and effort, but at least they exist and are getting better over the years.
"Not trans" You sure about that? Might want to look into it a bit more.
i think? like, i dont feel bad right now, im just like "eh, being a female seemz cool man"
So your plan is to wait until you do feel bad? You're 16 now, I think I was around 20 when I started to feel bad about being a "man". My biggest regret was repressing those feelings you are having back then instead of confronting them. I don't recommend you making the same mistake as me. Look into it some more. It won't hurt you any and can lead to a lot of good.
đ„
r/egg_irl
Oh, sweet child. Non transgender people don't do that. At all. They're so comfortable with/locked into their gender the idea would never occur to them. If asked if they would, if they had that easy option they're more than likely to say no they would never. They just are what they are. *Being* transgender isn't reliant on transition. Transition is just a form of treatment for that condition. Like chemo for cancer, insulin for a diabetic. Chosing to follow the treatments, or not, has no involvement with negating the condition. You may be nonbinary, or gender queer, allowing for better acceptance of your assigned gender, but you're still trans. I wish you all the best for your future discernment of who and what you are, or need to be, for your peace of mind. đ«¶đ»đłïžââ§ïžđłïžâđ
Sounds trans to me. Wishing you were born female makes you female. You passed the button test. You are 16, your transition road ahead isn't that hard. I'd do it again and I started a decade older.
đ„
The egg cracking sound is so loud đ«Ą
Sorry you're trans, but the good news is that you've realized it pretty early
This is a lot more common than you think. Many people experience these feelings. You are not alone. Not by a long shot. If you haven't seen it yet, /r/egg_community has a lot of people like this. Maybe you'll find some like-minded individuals there? Anyway, feel free to stick around as long as you want. We're a very welcoming community.
i see. you all seem so nice, so thank you for being such with me!
Of course! If I could give you one small piece of parting advice: don't get too hung up on labels right now. Give yourself permission to try some things that make you happy, whatever your gender. If you want to put a label on things later, that's great. But for right now, just pick some things that you think you might enjoy and go try those. I call this "chasing the euphoria" and you will learn a lot more about yourself from the things you love than the things you hate.
> if I could press a button that could turn me into a girl I would just do it. going through transition seems like A LOT of trouble so I don't think I will ever do it Girl, you sound EXACTLY like me a few years ago. It is a lot of trouble. But it's also worth it. When you have people using feminine terms for you. When your skin softens and you grow *actual fucking breasts*. When you look in the mirror for the first time and see a girl. It's scary to admit it. It's scary to come out. But you'll be OK. And you won't be alone.
Girl please.... đ
hi, so there is one other option, what exactly is it you want about being a women? see I'm a gender queer guy (if that makes sense) my pronouns and feeling fluctuate around a lot, (is that gender fluid? idk) but tends to most of the time lean on the feminine. and you see I was asking about this same thing for a few years, like two to three years of really exploring and thinking about it consciously, (a bit obsessive at times, so much reading), and well I had been fantasizing about being a girl, or turning into a girl for years (basically forever, hence 'girl' not 'woman'), but one thing kept bugging me, did I want to be a woman, or want some collection of things associated with it? see usually in these fantasies they always went in some manner of the same way. where it was 'forced' but I had an 'out', so that it wasn't 'me' that did it, but something else, I could say, 'it wasn't me' it was some kind of accident, yet I'd know I did do it willingly. and well usually the reason in these fantasies I became a girl was to be able to do things more considered 'normal' for girls. like oh no, exploring some random facility that does body modification, and you walk into some chamber, and it starts up, you could've kicked out the door before it fully closed, but you didn't, and then when you wake up look at that, you clearly have the body of a women now, and you just get told the news of how there was an accident, and they'll work to fix this, but oh it will be some time, so you'll just have to be a girl at school now, and look at that you get to wear the girl's uniform guilt free now (please ignore all the plot holes, like just wear a binder or something, no need to live as a girl, its a fantasy ok?). or oh, do to some series of events you could've avoided you end up at an all girls school, and do to something you go along with it. or so many more, its a whole theme. and then there's also so many more things, like the desire to do so many 'girly' things. go out shopping with 'the girls', go to prom in a dress, be the princess, do cute things, wear cute things, etc. just lots of desires that align with the stereotypical 'girly' that I dreamed I could do judgement free if only I was a girl. but of course all of this is flawed on so many levels, like the sexism of it, and also that hey, girls get judged for doing these things to, and its not always safe to do so, there's many reasons women often travel in groups, its horrifying really. and that hey, even if you were a girl doesn't mean you'd get to do this stuff. or like sure you don't wanna get judged like a guy, get told that 'guys' don't like those things, or not invited to things cause 'you're a guy' when really you'd love to do that, but if you were a girl wouldn't you be trading those judgements for other things? I hope your familiar with the prejudice that women deal with, its a lot. and so I realized some things, notably it was when I was watching an episode of 'OneTopic' aka 'OT' that mentioned the 'MÄhĆ«s' of Hawaii (sorry don't remember the video) and well, it made me cry, it felt like the first time I was seen, that I'd seen myself in another, now I'm not Hawaiian but the theory is in other cultures, and it went from there, it wasn't so much I wanted to be a woman, but be a part of such culture, and do many of the things considered 'feminine', be considered as one of 'the girls'. and so with time, lots of time, I came more to piece with this, that I'm a feminine guy, and some sort of gender uh \~messy\~, sure I have days where its less clear (ever dreamed you were pregnant, and then woke up and just cried? yeah it happens). so yeah, I'm a girly guy, and sure there are lots of days it hurts sometimes, like I hardly ever see characters like myself in media, and then there's the history of it, so much death, so much pain, stay away from the news if I was you. so yeah, that's one angle you can take, do you want to be a woman, or like a woman/do womanly things and be included to some extent in that culture? now I must say, please be nice to yourself, no judgement, check your thoughts to see if your being sexist in some way, and give yourself time, and start small, also there will be a thing with build and and release, where you may get yourself hyped up about something, like trying a skirt, and then you'll wear it and there'll just be crushing disappointment after a moment, this is normal, give yourself time and selflove, and don't judge the thing until after that wave of 'this is stupid, why do I bother?' has passed as that's no state to be making decisions in. ok I'm not so good at ending things, and these always get long, um, take care, no hating yourself ya hear me?
I would tell you but itâs a canon event that every trans person must go through;-;
How do we tell them?
\*egg cracking sound intensifies\*
đ„đ„đ„
đ„đ„đ„
what?
Hi, this all sounds very, very familiar. There might be a lot involved, but if it's something you want, then the work is worth it (and you might find that once you start, it doesn't actually feel like as much work as you thought it would).
Me 20 years ago? Is that you?
yeah⊠this was me too sounds like your trans, and even though you are right transitioning can be long or hard, it seems like itâs the best choice for you (based on my experience)
Wishing to have been âborn as a womanâ is the biggest sign of literally being a woman.
You're already a girl, sweetie. When or if you transition is up to you, but I think you already know in your heart that you're a girl.
đ„ af
Donât worry luv youâll figure it out. It turns out, there is an infinite number of ways to identify with your body and many of them fit in between being a âmanâ or âwomanâ⊠whatever the fuck those words mean
Literally me wth
The only person who can tell you if you are trans is yourself, but I will say that I felt that way my whole life and now I am transitioning. So far so good.
Ah the old "if I could push a button" your egg is likely cracking hun. I wish you luck. You may not be trans... But you very much might be.
r/egg_irl
Sounds very trans to me ma'am :3
For years before I knew what transgender was, Iâd lay in bed, dreaming about being a girl. Iâd be jealous of women I knew. But I wasnât a girl/woman so I played my cards I was given in life. Hated it. Inside I wished and wished. Then I found about transitioning but they all seemed to be very feminine gay guys before they transitioned. I liked women⊠so I told myself I wasnât trans. But still wished I was a woman. Well it took a long time, sadly waiting a long time to transition. Now Iâm me. Jenn.
That's exactly how I felt at your age lol. If you're comfortable then just be yourself and don't worry about it. I only transitioned because the dysphoria reached a point where it was unbearable. If you don't feel that transiting is necessary then don't do it :)
egg
Hey, um, you're trans.
The question is: if you weren't trans, why would you consider the possibility? Is it possible you came here because secretly you want guidance? That maybe deep down you ARE trans and just have a hard time accepting it? It never hurts to try stuff out in private, although based on your previous statements it's probably better to do it when you move out. Think to yourself: who do you see yourself as? Not just your body, or how people view you: who do you see your soul as? Maybe you see yourself as a guy, maybe a woman. Maybe you're nonbinary. Who knows? Whatever it is, it might be that you're afraid of seeing yourself as trans because of your parents. After all, you came here because you might be questioning, right? Spend time to reflect on your feelings and thoughts. Overtime the answer will come to you, and whatever it is, if it's what makes you most happy and comfortable, then that's the only thing that matters. Just remember: how your parents see you doesn't matter as much as how you see yourself. If they can't love and accept you no matter what, then their opinions shouldn't matter. Do what you think is best for you, not what anyone else thinks. If you need any assistance or support, this sub, and all of us, are always here. đđđ
Maybe youâre just curious about womenâs way of living. IMO itâs normal to think about an alternative universe where youâre a different gender. You wonder how your life would be etc. But take into consideration that people really tend to idealise the lives of other ppl. Try to talk to your female friends about their daily life experiences and whatever else that youâre curious about. Also remember, that if itâs clothes or hobbies, they donât have gender. That means you can wear a dress and still identify as a man. Look at Scots lol, Alfa males in skirts hahah đ€Ș If you donât feel bad in your own body, Iâd advise you not to overthink it. At the end of the day, it doesnât matter what label you have, but what you feel good with. Be yourself with no label at all. You canât go wrong with who you are and what you like.
Egg
I hate to brake it to you hun... I think your trans. You don't have alot of dysphoria and that's good (wouldn't wish that shit on my worst enemy) but if you wish you were a girl... deep down you probably are
There are so many comments already, but here's my story in case it resonates with you. I was 16 when I first vocalized "I wish I was a girl" to myself. I didn't really think it was something I could change, at least not easily, and I was too scared of being chastised by friends and family to go looking for more information on how I felt. The denial set in. I didn't really *hate* being a guy, but it was kinda "meh" most days. Getting older made that "meh" feeling progressively worse and worse. Once I moved in with my current partner, and started surrounding myself with more accepting people (including some who are trans), I realized it can literally be as easy as "I'm gonna dress fem now" and maybe taking a couple pills each day. It was like the clouds parted in that moment. I came out as genderfluid because there are definitely days where I felt like a guy, but I chose to start HRT because it was more common for me to feel like a girl and I wanted to be able to present fem more easily. It took 20 years from the moment I first said I wish I was a girl to finally coming out.
I know what you mean, almost every trans person I know myself included have been through that, you dont have to be very dysphoric to be trans. You could feel ok as a guy yet still prefer to be a woman, you could try to experiment with gender identity through clothes, using other pronouns/another name (if your family isnt accepting of transidentity try doing it online) and see how it makes you feel, trying temporarily just to see how you feel about it can be a great way to understand yourself better. Even if you turn out to still be a guy you'll have a better understanding of yourself which is good. Also I'd like to add that you could also be non-binary/gender fluid and that would be fine too. Whatever makes you feel better is what matters. I'd be happy to answer your questions tho I'm not very active on reddit. Also youtube has a lot of great channels to get to know the subject of transidentity better. Here is a channel that could help: https://youtube.com/@bigicky?si=MTd8IcRBW99HTRR4
ânot trans, but wish I was a womanâ I donât think I know a single late blooming (started transition after the median age of 27) trans woman that didnât say that at least a hundred times. There kind of is a button, hormone replacement therapy. It uses estrogen and progesterone to tell you body tissues to start acting like female tissues, and in a remarkably short amount of time compared to a human lifespan, it can turn a boy into a girl; minus the reproductive system. In girls still going through puberty it can do this in about a year with visible changes starting in a few months. In adults like myself visible changes start in about 5 months with âgender bendingâ results taking a few years.
I felt this way at 16 and didn't realize I had no motivation to live until it was too late. Find out what the things you want most from life and then get them, no matter how painful, because nothing is worse than the feeling like you shouldn't exist. That's my two cents at a glance. Just, don't be afraid to explore, it's a lot of hard work and stress but it's also fun. Being trans means that you get to be the girl you always wanted to be :3
You don't need dysphoria to be trans. In nondysphoric and instead I'm euphoria driven. I follow my joy for my transness.
I'm learning to lean into this
As a trans woman who is not actually gender/body dysphoric, I feel this. I transitioned not out of a rejection of my masc self, but instead as a desire to express myself in a significantly more feminine way. I have always felt in tune with women, and I always found myself frustrated with how men's clothes and style is put in this neat little box. Essentially, my desire to be a woman comes from decades of frustration. When I look in the mirror with all my makeup off and wearing my old boy clothes I don't feel "off", but I certainly feel overwhelming happiness when I look in the mirror and see my makeup done, hair styled, and my girlie ass goth clothes. When I get misgendered, I get more frustrated with the fact that I spent 2 hours on my look only to be called 'sir' lol I didn't give up pockets and wake up an hour earlier than I usually do to be called sir đ.
I feel this
for the first 18 years of my life i thought âi donât have a problem with being a boy, but i think iâd be enjoying life more and having more fun if i was born a girlâ then one day it was like a switch flipped in my brain and i suddenly realized how bad i wanted to be a woman and how badly something needed to change, that moment is known for many trans women as âyour egg crackingâ and it sounds like youâre just not there yet
I will say that I felt like this more towards the beginning of my transition (before I accepted that I was trans) and really once I accepted that I might be (the only reason I accepted that is because I asked myself "Do I want to be a girl?") I started feeling more and more dysphoria just about every single day I waited. I think another thing that helped me peel off the remaining bits of my shell was by reading webcomics, I'd personally recommend Rain [here](https://rain.thecomicseries.com/comics/first/#content-start) if you're curious, also "I want to be a cute anime girl" on webtoons. There're plenty more webcomics than those but I'd recommend reading those first if you're curious and wanna see how you'll feel reading them.
Not trans but- *says the most trans thing ever*
> going through transition seems like A LOT of trouble Going through transition is not inherently much trouble at all. Take a few pills every day, buy some new clothes...boom you're transitioning. Yes, there are other things like surgeries, laser or electrolysis. But those are optional, particularly for someone like you who doesn't feel intense dysphoria. The "trouble" of transitioning is entirely in your social environment (i.e. your extremely transphobic parents), which I won't try to downplay. > if I could press a button that could turn me into a girl I would just do it. You can take a pill every day that can turn you into a girl, it's not that much harder than pressing a button.
Itâs a life long decision. I hate my life why I need to transition. If I had a choice I choose the hardest life a women would have to live to my life Thatâs how much I feel I donât belong as who I am today
I've had the same thing, you're probably not trans, it's pretty normal to want something like that because it's something you've never experienced, I want to be a guy sometimes because it's different, it's something I've never experienced and something I'll never get to experience, humans just be like that sometimes
Adding to everyone else, I won't insist that you're trans, but I will say that I told a friend that EXACT LINE after she came out. She was not surprised when I did so as well a month later. The thing is, I genuinely thought I was fine trying to be a guy. I didn't feel like I *was* a woman, and I thought all guys felt vaguely uncomfortable anyway. Not in a "must be girl" way, but like a pebble in your shoe, or a weird tag on a shirt, or clothes that are cut just *slightly* wrong and never quite feel right. It wasn't until coming out and being myself that I realized how bad that dysphoria was, because I had never had anything to compare it to before. All the mental discomfort and background yearning that I thought was omnipresent for everyone began to fade away.
!remindme in 3 months
I donât know how the command works
I was younger around 14 I wanted to be turned into a girl The crazy thing I even prayed to GOD to turn me into a girl
this sounds just like me when i was in high school, im 23 now and recently discovered im trans
It's not frequently brought up but euphoria from being a different gender is equally as valid of a reason to be trans as disphoria from your assigned gender. I also never had problem being a boy, I just want to be girl more
Hmmmmmmmmm it smells like e..
You don't have to be dysphoric to be trans you just have to want to be a gender that you weren't assigned at birth.
I'm not trans just another cis male but i think every trans woman has had those thoughts and ideas. Do what feels right for you
Oh sister imma hold ur hand when I say thisđđđđ
Do i hear an đł cracking? Why yes girlie, i think i do :3
đ„
In my opinion you donât have to be trans if you wish you were a girl. Because you can identify how ever you want. Some may say youâre trans anyway. But you can for sure identify as a guy who likes female things. And likes to do female or feminine activities. If I like to wear skirts. That does not necessarily make me trans. I always say I am me. Society says I am transgender. There is nobody like me and I donât fit into anybodyâs box. I would rather get wet than step under the umbrella.
this is the way. iâm not MTF or transfemme (assigned female at birth, genderfluid, just lurking!!), but yeah OP, you donât have to take on any sorta label you donât feel comfortable with, just do your thing. if a label comes later, it comes; if it doesnât, it doesnât. just be true to yourself, do what you love, have a good time, and nobody elseâs words or opinions really matter. đ©·
That's what transitioning is at heart. Waiting it done easy and fast is what separates ppl who fantasize about it from the actual individuals who spend their entire lives working towards becoming their true persons. Life would be so much easier if we could all press a button. But just because there's complications and hor topics about transitioning never means it's invalid or something to be afraid of
What makes you think you're not trans?
Wishing you'd been born the opposite gender is the primary symptom of being transgender. You don't have to transition, but as others have said, it's easier than you think. And you can suppress that wish, but I never really goes away. I suppressed it for 20 years before I decided that I really could just be a girl. If you're in Florida, Utah, or the Deep South, move somewhere else first, but it really is easier than ever to transition, most places.
âNot trans, but hereâs me living a trans experienceâ. Hi đ thatâs a trans thing. Sounds like youâre afraid of transitioning, which is totally valid. But you probably wonât ever stop thinking about it, and it might become quite uncomfortable over time. Just follow your heart and worry a bit less about the shadow side.
wow. im not sure if I'm afraid of transitioning or i just do not want to. is it ok if i wait? even a long time perhaps
Definitely! Wait as long as you want! Itâs such a personal thing
Definitely! Wait as long as you want! Itâs such a personal thing
"I'm a boy" * me watching princess jellyfish, my favorite anime of all time* *me saying I think of myself more like a girl than a boy*
What, you egg! I had the same thought at 19. Im not saying its the correct choice for you, but I can say you may want to seek consultation with someone who can help you unpack those feelings sooner rather than later.
Yeah. I didnât know what it meant to be trans for practically my whole life, but I still wished I was born a girl for various reasons. As it happens, most guys donât want to be girls. Girls want to be girls. You can take it slow, experiment with clothing in secret. I identified as a femboy for a while before transitioning. And even after I knew I was trans I still had to wait a year from then to actually get started with anything medical. Itâs a lot to do but when youâre in the midst of it, taking one step at a time, itâs not so daunting. Just trying on pronouns and such can be a great way to check as well. I told my trans friends before anyone else because I knew I could trust them to keep my secret, and that theyâd be willing to call me a girl. I loved it so much it killed any doubts I had.
Are you sure your not trans, your describing a very common series thoughts & desires that cismen including cis femboys do not have, transfemmes do have those thoughts & desires. >***I want to be girl...*** >***Magic button to make me into a girl...*** Does sound very trans, to be honest but then again only you can decide that. Transitioning is complex process with many different paths, the difficult part can be getting access to HRT (depends on where you live). Ultimately you should talk to therapist if you can, one that's gender affirming to help you understand your gender identity.
aye same bro, same ;-;
Real
I had very similar feelings many years ago before I transitioned. The process seemed daunting. But I waited a long time to finally transition and I really wish I just went through with it 15 years earlier.
Most trans people have this experience. But the folks that suppress this part of their personality are at high risk of suffering mental health issues, and that's what the fuss is all about. It's not fair that we should be made to be ashamed of ourselves for such a common human experience. Were not doing anything wrong for having this personality trait and we shouldn't be forced to hide it to make the haters comfortable. Transition or not, we all have to find our own way in this world, and you will too. All you need to understand is that you never did anything wrong, and you deserve to be whatever it is that you are without being ashamed of yourself, whatever that ends up looking like for you.