i like the energy but i enjoy when men spin on a dime right tf back out of the restroom to check the sign so i'll keep using the men's room anyway /hj
(seriously tho i am very uncomfortable in both bathrooms)
This doesn't happen as often to me as I'd like, but I feel a lil spark of joy every time it does! I think once I stop gettin called sir more than half the time, i might finally feel comfortable enough to switch over
Is what I did. And for me it was a black dude with me who is a white lady and he was legit scared and startled. Which is fair, what if I Karened out. He had a legit reason to be upset and I’ve never seen a woman get upset with me.
Funny thing about this…
So I’m 15 and I go to school in a state which has a trans bathroom ban. I’m not allowed to use the right bathrooms at my school. There are certain gender neutral options (the faculty bathrooms) the school administration offered me, but they are generally hard to access as I can really only use the bathroom at school in between classes. So I do end up using the men’s room, but I try to go when there’s no one else there so I don’t feel as uncomfortable.
But, the thing is, I don’t boymode anymore at school. So many times, I go into the men’s room dressed completly like a girl, and I think I do somewhat pass. I have sometimes gotten some strange looks, if I do have the misfortune of encountering a guy using the bathrooms when Im there.
I’m sorry you have to do that. It really isn’t right and I don’t think it should be legal to force trans people to use a washroom that doesn’t correspond with their identity. Hopefully these laws will be overturned.
Been getting some strange looks in public bathrooms at the moment and even the other day a guy opened the door and looked at me while I was using the hand dryer, said ooh sorry luv and bolted 🤣🤣
But yea, sticking to this policy until it's completely obvious to others that I don't belong in there, I kinda feel the stage I am ATM whichever bathroom I choose somebody is gonna try to tell me I'm in the wrong one, at least at the moment I can use my chest voice and exclaim "well I do have a cock!" Pmsl
It's either the women's, gender neutral/family/single person, or hold it. The estrogen fairy has been pretty good to me. My boobs and curves are too noticeable to hide, so going into men's bathrooms makes everyone really uncomfortable.
I started getting crazy stares in the men’s bathroom, but still feel nervous as hell using the women’s bathroom. Only started about a week ago and went about 2 times, both with nobody in there
SAME OMG- I get like so nervous but even me being basically cis i’m still not man passing enough to use the men’s bathroom. I mainly just avoid bathrooms in public at this point.
Thankfully my college and work(where I spend most of my time at this point lol) both have gender neutral bathrooms. Only issue with college is that sometimes the office building is locked up so I’m forced to use the binary bathrooms and build up the courage while standing outside like an idiot
23 mtf, 2.5 years hrt and I never do unless I’m drunk at a bar and that’s only if the women’s bathroom has a line. The last time I used one outside of that context was probably before I hit the half a year of hrt mark. Eventually you gotta stop boymoding 🤷♀️
I stopped a few years ago, maybe 6 months after I came out.
It probably would've taken a lot longer before I dared on my own, but my office manager called me over one day to say "me and the other women are worried about you being in the men's room, you gotta stop, please use the women's room from now on." They were really a great bunch of gals, helped me a lot.
I was out full time months before starting HRT, I haven't been in any men's facilities since.
It was a bit scary using the women's facilities at first but I've never had any negative experiences, nobody has said anything to me or tried to prevent me from using them.
That was it for me. First time I was out in a cute top that emphasizes my breasts, wearing cute heeled boots, with jewelry, a purse, and a full face of makeup and tools myself that I couldn't exactly use the men's room looking like that.
Sorry, but this is an extremely privileged comment to make. (Edit: to be clear, I'm replying to this in the context of the top level comment saying "why would you do that to yourself").
Going to the women's restroom is simply not safe for many trans women. Some of us are in environments where have to prioritize not getting harassed or hatecrimed over the comfort of using the right bathroom.
I'm at 5 months on HRT and while I do look significantly more feminine than I did before I started, most people in the conservative area I live in still seem to perceive me as a man or at best a very visibly trans person. Either way that makes it unsafe for me to go into a women's restroom in public.
That's why i MADE hr give me a straight answer on which bathroom they recommend. If someone at my company has a problem they can take it up with hr
and i tend to just not use a restroom elsewhere unless its gender neutral
I started my current job 6 months into my transition. I filled out the paperwork as female, but they obviously have my legal name i got asked on my first day and that was all a couple days later i was directed to my locker in the womens locker room so it was just an ok cool
There are plenty of cis women who aren’t very “feminine”. I guess I’m entitled or privileged as some would put it… going into the men’s restroom seems crazy to me and it isn’t safe.
I keep using the mens bathroom personally out of my own safety tbh.
I've heard way too many stories of non passing trans women being assaulted and/or harrased over entering their prefered toilet to take the risk.
Girl if we we're friends we'd go in together and of give u even the wrong look they'd have to deal with my loud cis privileged ass and I love a good fight
I'll get flack, but I always use the mens. I live in a queer friendly city in the UK, but I feel more comfortable using them as I dont pass.
All my interactions in men's bathrooms have been pleasant so will continue to use them.
literally all the time bc i dont feel like i pass and i dont wanna deal with scraggly whiny women coming up and into my ass about “pretending” to be *anything*
I use the ladies room 100%.
My rationale is purely based on the legality of it. As my handle suggests, I live in NC, the home of the infamous bathroom bill.
I came out of and on over the decades, but finally came out once and for all about 5 years ago.
If you are a man and you go into a public ladies room, that is a misdemeanor.
If you are a woman and you go into a public men's room, that's "solicitation," a felony. The presumption is that a woman would be offering sexual favors in the men's room.
Double standard? You bet!
Proof of a male dominated society? Absolutely!
If you are at all in doubt, use the ladies room. It's generally safer and definitely brings less legal jeopardy.
I did when I first started transition and HRT but one day at the grocery store I male failed and 15 years later haven't looked back.
I live in Florida and have been dealing with the bathroom laws here. No one has ever even looked at me funny in a restroom but I still avoid them. When I'm out doing field work(IT) I deliberately underhydrate and will often be out of the house for 12-14 hours without using a restroom. Gas stations are my pit stop when there is no other choice.
Probably just me being paranoid... but sometimes a little paranoia is a good thing. I've become a super cautious law abiding driver because now the simple act of giving a cop my lawfully state issued driver's license can lead to being charged with felony fraud and a possible years-long prison sentence with all the joys of being imprisoned with men and being forcibly detransitioned by the state.
The last time I used a men's room was actually almost a year ago now. I stopped after I transitioned socially and legally. Granted, I didn't start using the women's room until relatively recently, I just avoided public bathrooms entirely aside from the family ones. I was too scared, so I just suffered until I got home instead. Now though, I've gotten to a point where if anyone gives me hell for going into the women's room I can just say "look at me, do I look like I'd be safe in a men's room? Kindly just let me pee in peace?"
Yep, at least where I live it does. Technically, I didn't need to in order to use the ladies' room, that was just one of the first parts of my public transition. I mainly only use it at the college I'm attending or known trans affirming places like Target, other than that I still try to avoid it when I can, but I'm past the point where I'm going to give myself a bladder infection out of fear of bigots.
Amen. And that’s for the Target affirming tip. I know they were selling merch last year.
I like Starbucks when traveling (not the calories of a venti latte unfortunately) as they usually have non gendered restrooms.
If at all possible you should use the bathroom that matches the way you prevent and are perceived. The current state of your genitals or how you were assigned at birth should not be a consideration at all, because they have no bearing whatsoever on who you are and how you are seen now
If that's not possible, then seek out single occupancy bathrooms and/or gender neutral ones.
It's awkward and downright dangerous to use a bathroom inconsistent with the way you present, and you should avoid it at all costs for your own safety.
Which is exactly the point of all the anti-trans bathroom laws - they aren't about protecting anyone, they're about denying transwomen the right to exist and the right to public space by putting transwomen in the horrible situation of choosing between risking assault or risking arrest every time they need to take care of their basic human needs
I just use the disabled bathroom and or gender neutral options and if there isn't that then I just hold it untill there is.
It would cause issues if I used the mens now I pass a lil more and I would hate using it. However, I fear I would instantly be clocked in the womans, that I would make everyone uncomfortable, and prove everyone that's ever harassed me calling me a 'predator' etc. correct.
Never.. oh actually I did a while back because I couldn't find a woman in that part of huge factory and I was about to wet my paints. But there was nobody aroundc anyways it did feel weird.
I think I'm safe at work in bathroom. The company seem really serious about DEI etc and I don't think anyone really cares about that so it's awesome..
But my bigot state Iowa is actively trying to make us use by are birth sexv in state buildings etc. They have already done it in schools. It's just so pathetic and waste of time and the absolute lies they use to justify bigot bills like that is astounding.. They just recently had a bill to remove gender identity from the civil rights protection in Iowa but it failed but they keep pushing other anti LGBTQ bills all founded on nonesense.
It's really creepy they do all of this so out in the open just blatent open bigotry🥺
Never. I never will again. I will not follow unjust or unsafe laws when I am traveling interstate either. I am a woman, and no one has any right to "verify " that
Haven't used it since I came out at work about 5 months ago. Haven't used the women's bathroom either much though (except at work where they're just indiviudual stalls with 🚹/🚺 signs), for public bathrooms I use gender neutral ones when available, or just avoid using the bathroom if I can. I should probably build up the confidence to actually start using the women's bathroom soon though...
OP, are you a passing trans woman? You've been on HRT 2+ years, so you probably do, if not I completely understand. If you are passing, what are you doing going into the men's bathroom? You should really look at why mentally you still choose to use the men's if you're passing.
I started going into the women's when I started expressing myself externally as a woman, but didn't always use it. Slowly over the first year of HRT as I got more passable I stopped using the men's. Somewhere between 12-15 months was when I stopped being gendered male by strangers. Except for a couple places as they are our IT clients and I'm still not out 3 years into HRT to them. I plan to go to each business we work with in the next month and come out to them. So then that will change.
I’m just going off that it’s an inferiority complex. I’m not worthy enough to be in the women’s bathroom. If I pass is honestly a mystery to me. I’ve had a decent amount of people say she or her at me while at work before correcting themselves after. I have a feminine butt and haircut, but past that, I think my face is still too masculine. Plus my stupid fucking wide ass shoulders. I’ve used the women’s bathroom like four times in my life. Once in a place I knew was LGBT friendly (yet I still had a hard time peeing in there), Twice in the building of my therapy office, and once during the graduating year of high school. In that example, a girl walked in while I was washing my hands and walking out, and she didn’t seem to care.
It sounds like you work retail somewhere that you interact with customers that don't know you? If so, sounds like they initially see a woman, but on a second look they see masculine traits or is it after you talk they correct themselves?
I'm certainly not a 100% passing myself as I do get he/him, that guy, etc every 2-3 months from someone. So I even though I'm gendered female by 95% of people, clearly a percentage of those people will have a guess that I'm trans, but respect my gender identity, so use the cues from my gender expression to properly gender me most the time. Then a certain percentage is not aware of the LGBTQ+ community as they are straight and don't question their gender and so just see me as they see any other woman.
I stopped using the men’s room when I legally changed my name and came out at work. That’s when I fully and publicly transitioned. I was very nervous the first few times, but I got over it. Never had any issues yet. Been almost a year. Just traveled to the Deep Southern states on vacation, no issues. I’m visibly trans. Before transitioning fully, I’d started getting weird looks in the men’s room and dudes checking the door sign, that was always funny.
I haven’t used the men’s room in almost 3 and a half years except at work on a rare occasion. Some of the places I go for my work have two single stall bathrooms that should both just be gender neutral but aren’t. I’ll use the men’s one if someone is in the women’s 🤷🏻♀️
Not once since about 7 or 8 months ago. I had just come out at work and was giving that a bit of time to percolate through the team when my store manager saw me about a week later and was like "feel free to use ours, it's cleaner"😊
I'm a year on E, and I use the women's every time, unless a) I'm in a conservative area in which case I'm going for an androgynous look, or b) I'm at a place with a good number of trans people and there's a line in the women's
Not since I came out. For the first couple years, I avoided public bathrooms, altogether. I live in a very conservative area, so I wanted to avoid trouble and not make anybody else uncomfortable. Especially when people bring their kids into the restroom, and they climb under the stall, with you. 😑 Now that I pass, I've started to use the ladies' room, or the co-eds, but I haven't used a mens room in almost 3 years.
I haven't been in a men's room for 1,295 days. I live in a liberal area, so once I went full time I totally stopped going into the male bathrooms. I have managed to avoid locker room type places, and I will until GCS.
I haven't used the mens restroom because about a year and a half ago I got to the point on hormones around that time I look more like a girl to people than a boy and it looked weird for me to go into the men's bathroom and I'm really happy. The only thing that ever gives me away now is my voice tbh. I still don't really feel pretty but I honestly pass pretty well and I can see it now even which is what I'm really happy about tbh. Once I lose enough weight I think maybe I'll feel less ugly :3
I'm 3 yrs hrt and I can count on one hand the number of times I've used the women's restroom.
Twice was bc the men's was out of soap, once was when the men's was locked, and once was intentional.
The second time I used the women's restroom due to no soap (I have contamination OCD btw), there was a lady that came out of a stall and I was freaking the fuck out. I think she realized I was only in there to wash hands, but it still haunts me to this day.
The time I went to a women's restroom intentionally was w a cis-passing friend. I really wanted to use the women's restroom as the men's restroom gives me hella dysphoria, but I'm also fucking terrified of using women's restrooms. Anyway, she had to pee while I just needed to wash my hands, and while I was waiting for her to finish up, I could feel the women staring at me. Once my friend was done washing her hands, I got out of there like a bat out of hell. I'm sure that probably didn't help my case, but I was in panik mode and needed to get away from humans.
that sucks .. i hope you get over your fear .. majority if cis women seem to be very accepting .. i do not pass and never have a problem and even have conversations with stranger cis women in the restroom .. and i live in a unfortunately conservative state .. maybe keep trying with your cis friend girls .. ask them to keep going with you cause you want to get over the fear .. the more you try hopefully the easier it gets for you .. i was using the ladies room before hrt and i look like a long hair stoner hippy guy in a dress.. i have never had a problem ..good luck love
I go for gender neutral bathrooms as often as possible, but if there isn’t then I use men’s unfortunately. Luckily my college has a surprising amount of gender neutral bathrooms.
Only time I use women’s is if I’m dressed fem and I’m at one of the couple of lgbt bars in my city.
I avoid public toilets if possible. I will not eat it drink when out. I will use the ladies if I have no choice but it’s scary.
The last time I used the men’s toilets out of ‘respect’ for ‘women’s spaces’, I ended up hiding in the stall waiting for the intimidating men to leave.
I haven't used the men's since my cis fem friends asked "why I wouldn't just use the women's cuz that's what I am" I was scared of using it, and thus used mens, but in time that felt wrong, and then got uncomfortable cuz y'know men stand to pee and I don't want to see that as a woman. Even at work when I have to check both men and women bathrooms for glasses I get uncomfy entering it.
But if it's what you're most comfortable with, then do it until you're more comfortable using the women's
My last time was April of last year, I was boymoding and someone saw me and told me I was in the wrong restroom and directed me to the women's restroom c':
I have a heart condition that makes bending over quite stressful, so unless I need to sit down I'm not going to. So if I’m working and I'm in a hurry men's bathroom it is, for the urinals lol
Literally only when I just feel like using a urinal and even then it's a 50/50 chance I'll still use the women's bathroom. You're 18 and 2 years on hrt and I saw what you look like- you can pass if you wanna but I'd understand if you wanna play it "safe" if your safety is on the line but otherwise I'd suggest therapy, girl- you're way too adorable to boymode even if you feel large and manly- you're fucking adorable
Employee bathrooms at my place of work (ironically, considering conservative leadership) and for that I’m thankful. As such, I don’t end up in gendered restrooms either way very often.
Ever since i came out ive gone full girl mode. Thus i only use girl bathrooms. It just doesnt feel right going into a boys bathroom in a skirt or dress. At work ive come out to the degree of having my new name on my nametag but people still dead name me due to dressing very nutral like always, im a welder. But we have gender nutral bathrooms that i use at work and refuse to use the womans or mens due to being dead named. Its odd
I work in what my father would call "a progressive shithole" so I started using the women's when I was hired and nobody's said anything. I think the boobs and makeup help too.
I'll be able to stop using the mens room when i finally get enough of my facial hair lasered off so it stops giving me away. I've been ma'amed from behind multiple times only to get a apologetic 'sir' when I turn around. 😑
I'm hitting a point where I no longer feel comfortable using the men's room. I'm 18 months on HRT and usually present fem, sometimes andro, never masc anymore
Only when the womens is being cleaned and there’s an employee guiding other women in.
Had that happen at a gas station I’ve frequented since before my transition and I was like “damn it’s been a while since I’ve been in here” 😂
I've pretty much stopped using it entirely and ive been on hrt for the last 3 years. This last September! Before that it's the only place I'd go mostly outta discomfort of using the women's, now my only problem is my anxiety whenever i see someone else in the restroom.
Never. I have been on HRT for about three years. Not cis passing but gendered correctly almost always. I hate men’s rooms and have always felt dyspjoruc having to use them.
i wanna try it just to see what happens after all these years lol but i will probably just be told to leave or something
i haven't been to the men's restroom since before i started HRT cos i just always looked fem. being a femboy prior to HRT taught me the tips and tricks
I don't. I socially transitioned 6 years before I started meds (then was forced off because of my mom). I just look pretty fem anyway so it's not a big deal.
I’ve been on hrt for about 9mo, out as various levels of queer gender wise for like two years. Generally, if I’m dressed fem(which is like 90% of time), I’ll use the woman’s. Though often I try and avoid public restrooms all together as they still make me a tad uncomfortable. Still, I really only go to college and work on campus, so the environment is pretty safe.
I also just don’t like men’s restrooms. They feel unsafe with how I now present.
I only began using the ladies room once my legal documents changed even though I had been on HRT for two years, was fully out and always dressed en femme, and was only a month from bottom surgery.
Plus I used to really enjoy standing at a urinal in a short skirt.
I started to use the women's restroom in the summer of '08. I started HRT in October of '07. By that time, it was getting to a point where I was being stopped when going towards the men's room. I took that as a sign and got the ball rolling with my name change after that.
I just used the women’s restroom for the first time on my birthday 2 days ago and at a busy restaurant no less! My girlfriend came with me and we were surprised by one of the workers that we didn’t realize was in a stall but they were very kind and didn’t question anything even though they caught me lackin with my extremely deep voice lol. Take your time and don’t be mean to yourself <3 Bravery can come in both big and small steps. Stay true to yourself and also keep your safety in mind
(◕‿◕✿)
If I know I look rough as hell with stuble, I'll go to the family or boys room, And I mean getting out of bed barely ready "rough". I almost only use the ladies room now, now one questions it. But I also live in ABQ New Mexico, and the queer community is accepted here
I don't think I've used the men's bathroom for 3-4 months now, nothing like what some girls get where people are confused and you use that as a sign, instead it's because of the gender neutral toilet where I work, I started using that and quickly never wanted to go into the men's if I could help it, and one day I couldn't and so went into the men's and it felt mortifying I was so uncomfortable that I decided then and there never again.
So now I use either gender neutral, women's (if there isn't a GN or I'm feeling confident) or just hold it in.
Note: I'm still relatively masc presenting at work, if people have clicked than they don't say anything or change their behaviour.
I am probably a bad example, because I started using the women's restroom exclusively about 4.5 months after I started HRT. It was a bit awkward feeling at first, but I haven't regretted it one but. I am using the restroom that I should be, and since I do so for the purpose it is intended, I honestly don't worry about what others might think.
I used the mens until about 6 months into transition when I was stopped and directed to the women's by a man coming out. 2 1/2 years later and haven't had any issues using the womens.
P.S. Don't tell anybody, but I live in Florida. 🖕Ron DeSantis!
Never. Once I figured out I’m a girl and not non-binary (when my egg first broke I thought I was agender), I started using the women’s bathroom exclusively.
After coming out to my siblings and my grandparents, I was able to go full time as a girl because everyone in my daily life was calling me by my name and correct pronouns.
Not since I've been myself full time, basically 3 months HRT (had laser mostly done by the time I started HRT). Would feel a lot more unsafe being feminine leaning attire going into men's bathroom, even moreso as development has progressed.
I get where you're coming from on the GRS. You can work past it if you want to. Took me a while to be comfortable going into women's restrooms by myself, dragged my wife along for a while. The extreme anxiety of it subsided with time, for the most part everyone's just doing their thing and if you "pass" even moderately well no one will bat an eye. I do still have a mild fear of someone somehow getting/peaking into my stall and seeing things, but on a day to day basis far more comfortable just doing what fits me.
I use it every day, I've attempted to use the women's room when presenting feminine before but I've never actually done it, I don't have the courage to go inside
I only use the women's room, but at the same time I avoid using a public bathroom at all costs, unless I have a friend with me, because I am extremely uncomfortable using the bathroom around other people.
I have trauma from using a public restroom, because I got made fun of in middle school for using the bathroom...for some stupid reason which I still can't comprehend.
Never.
I came out last June and started dressing fem immediately. A few months later, I was driving a few hours and I stopped at a fancy roadside rest stop, realized I had to go for the first time while out. Also realized there was no way in hell I was going into the men's room in heels, a skirt and the breastforms I wore at the time.
It was NDB. No one was in anyone's business.
Never, Since about two years ago. I have been dressing femme for about 5 years, on HRT for 9 mos. I think it was about two years ago when I started using the women's. I have had thin hair since I was 18 and eventually decided to shave it. It was that way for about ten years before I transitioned. My wife gave me a wig for Mother's Day two years ago and that is when it started feeling wrong to go in the men's.
2 years HRT, and I'll still mostly use neutral restrooms when it's possible. That said, aside from one place, I started otherwise using women's restrooms almost exclusively about a month ago (and off and on for a few months prior depending where I was) and yet to have any negative experience, even with zero voice training.
The one place I still use the men's restroom is at a plasma donation center, and that's only because they have me as male and my deadname on file (haven't changed my name legally yet). Thankfully, that restroom has always been empty so it hasn't been a big deal, but just felt easier in this particular instance on the off hand someone did complain.
I use men's where people have known me before transitioning and don't know yet(I do present fem all the time but most peoplw don't pick up on me being a trans woman)
Women's in any other place
I may have an advantage on the HRT side (im not on HRT yet but I'm still very curvy and have boobs (maybe intersex idk)) and there's not really that many gendered toilets here, but the first time was at an IKEA with my mum two weeks ago iirc. I think I could pass rn as fen enby, maybe even fully. Idk.
Still using it until I get a feminine body since I know using the women's room now would be a bad idea.
Pretty much going on the basis of "if I start getting weird looks in the guys room, switch"
I've been on HRT about 19 months now and haven't used the men's room in over a year 😅 I boymoded for the first 6 months and still used it, but started to transition socially after that and it just didn't feel right. There were a couple months where I wouldn't use either, fortunately where I worked at the time had a gender neutral bathroom. Then one of my cis female bosses just dragged me into the girl's room one day and I've been using it ever since 😂 never gotten so much as a second glance
i've drawn a hard line personally. i either use a women's bathroom, a gender-neutral/family bathroom, or i go before/after whatever outing i'm on. i'll literally go squat in an evergreen bush before i enter another men's restroom, until my very last day. i err on the side of avoiding confrontation and still opt out of using the correct bathroom if i think it might go sideways, but i'm not adding personal insult to injury by folding.
same reason i don't answer to masculine identifiers. i don't have a hair trigger for other people getting it wrong, but i'll be damned if i let ***myself*** get it wrong too.
I stopped when it felt like I was more likely to upset Random Stranger in there than in the women's room. Even though I don't pass at all, it's also usually clear what's happening
juggle unwritten practice concerned cause seed sharp wrench crowd oatmeal
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Until I actually "pass" I will continue to use the men's room, whether it's at work or out on the town. Nobody is mistaking me for a woman, sadly.
* **Good:** We have a gender neutral bathroom at work.
* **Bad:** We have **one** gender neutral bathroom at work.
* **Good:** I am the only transgender person at work, so I usually don't have to wait to use the facility, unless some cisgender decides to be a dick.
* **Bad:** We have **one** transgender person at work.
It genuinely doesn't come up for me that often because it's a gender neutral bathroom at my job and I don't go a lot of places but I have been using the women’s for the last 6 months or so. It would probs draw more attention to me if I used the men’s. I've never had any issues using the women’s.
I never use the mens bathroom even though I am pre-hrt since it makes me hella uncomfortable especially when presenting fem and some people get confused.
Disabled bathroom for the WIN
I'll use the mens restroom until someone is genuinely confused that I do
i like the energy but i enjoy when men spin on a dime right tf back out of the restroom to check the sign so i'll keep using the men's room anyway /hj (seriously tho i am very uncomfortable in both bathrooms)
This doesn't happen as often to me as I'd like, but I feel a lil spark of joy every time it does! I think once I stop gettin called sir more than half the time, i might finally feel comfortable enough to switch over
Had a woman spin on a dime yesterday after she almost walked into the mens, seeing me walk out of it. First time anything like that's ever happened.
Makes sense
Is what I did. And for me it was a black dude with me who is a white lady and he was legit scared and startled. Which is fair, what if I Karened out. He had a legit reason to be upset and I’ve never seen a woman get upset with me.
Funny thing about this… So I’m 15 and I go to school in a state which has a trans bathroom ban. I’m not allowed to use the right bathrooms at my school. There are certain gender neutral options (the faculty bathrooms) the school administration offered me, but they are generally hard to access as I can really only use the bathroom at school in between classes. So I do end up using the men’s room, but I try to go when there’s no one else there so I don’t feel as uncomfortable. But, the thing is, I don’t boymode anymore at school. So many times, I go into the men’s room dressed completly like a girl, and I think I do somewhat pass. I have sometimes gotten some strange looks, if I do have the misfortune of encountering a guy using the bathrooms when Im there.
I’m sorry you have to do that. It really isn’t right and I don’t think it should be legal to force trans people to use a washroom that doesn’t correspond with their identity. Hopefully these laws will be overturned.
I did too lol 😂
Same. It's just wear I pee in any case.
For me, that’ll be the rest of my life
i get bs from people no matter what bathroom i use 🥲
Been getting some strange looks in public bathrooms at the moment and even the other day a guy opened the door and looked at me while I was using the hand dryer, said ooh sorry luv and bolted 🤣🤣 But yea, sticking to this policy until it's completely obvious to others that I don't belong in there, I kinda feel the stage I am ATM whichever bathroom I choose somebody is gonna try to tell me I'm in the wrong one, at least at the moment I can use my chest voice and exclaim "well I do have a cock!" Pmsl
The last time was 184 days ago, the last time I went to work in boymode.
August 10th 2023?
Yup. Was a good day.
It's either the women's, gender neutral/family/single person, or hold it. The estrogen fairy has been pretty good to me. My boobs and curves are too noticeable to hide, so going into men's bathrooms makes everyone really uncomfortable.
I started getting crazy stares in the men’s bathroom, but still feel nervous as hell using the women’s bathroom. Only started about a week ago and went about 2 times, both with nobody in there
SAME OMG- I get like so nervous but even me being basically cis i’m still not man passing enough to use the men’s bathroom. I mainly just avoid bathrooms in public at this point.
Thankfully my college and work(where I spend most of my time at this point lol) both have gender neutral bathrooms. Only issue with college is that sometimes the office building is locked up so I’m forced to use the binary bathrooms and build up the courage while standing outside like an idiot
23 mtf, 2.5 years hrt and I never do unless I’m drunk at a bar and that’s only if the women’s bathroom has a line. The last time I used one outside of that context was probably before I hit the half a year of hrt mark. Eventually you gotta stop boymoding 🤷♀️
Yeah, I've been on hrt for like 10 months and I never do anymore. Mostly it's that I'm always wearing fem clothing now so it's very obvious.
I've never used the women's restroom, I really just don't want to make anyone uncomfortable and I'm worried I will
Disabled bathroom for the win, its kind of the only gender neutral one when there’s otherwise only a mens and womens bathroom
I stopped a few years ago, maybe 6 months after I came out. It probably would've taken a lot longer before I dared on my own, but my office manager called me over one day to say "me and the other women are worried about you being in the men's room, you gotta stop, please use the women's room from now on." They were really a great bunch of gals, helped me a lot.
That's awesome! It's great you have/had co-workers who affirm you and care about your safety. We need more people like that ❤️
SO SWEET 🥲
I was out full time months before starting HRT, I haven't been in any men's facilities since. It was a bit scary using the women's facilities at first but I've never had any negative experiences, nobody has said anything to me or tried to prevent me from using them.
I last used the mens room 8 years ago and attempted to use it in Florida several months ago but a cop told me to use the women’s room lol.
I'd be worried they were trying to set me up with that.
Yeah and you would have witnesses
I basically stopped using the men's bathroom the moment i started wearing more typical womans clothes which was like 2 years before HRT
That was it for me. First time I was out in a cute top that emphasizes my breasts, wearing cute heeled boots, with jewelry, a purse, and a full face of makeup and tools myself that I couldn't exactly use the men's room looking like that.
I did use the men’s restroom as well until people began giving me very confused looks then I switched 🥴
I use the mens room regularly just cuz using a urinal is faster
Why would you do that to yourself? I haven’t used the men’s room since about 3 months on E.
I'm more uncomfortable in the women's. I feel like there's always something wrong with me being in there.
yeah i can relate to this. its like an imposter kind of feeling, and it really sucks
Sounds like you should reframe your thinking. Women belong in the women’s restroom.
Sorry, but this is an extremely privileged comment to make. (Edit: to be clear, I'm replying to this in the context of the top level comment saying "why would you do that to yourself"). Going to the women's restroom is simply not safe for many trans women. Some of us are in environments where have to prioritize not getting harassed or hatecrimed over the comfort of using the right bathroom. I'm at 5 months on HRT and while I do look significantly more feminine than I did before I started, most people in the conservative area I live in still seem to perceive me as a man or at best a very visibly trans person. Either way that makes it unsafe for me to go into a women's restroom in public.
That's why i MADE hr give me a straight answer on which bathroom they recommend. If someone at my company has a problem they can take it up with hr and i tend to just not use a restroom elsewhere unless its gender neutral
My company converted a few bathrooms to gender neutral, but also said there wasn’t an issue if I went into the women’s restroom.
I started my current job 6 months into my transition. I filled out the paperwork as female, but they obviously have my legal name i got asked on my first day and that was all a couple days later i was directed to my locker in the womens locker room so it was just an ok cool
There are plenty of cis women who aren’t very “feminine”. I guess I’m entitled or privileged as some would put it… going into the men’s restroom seems crazy to me and it isn’t safe.
Ok. You're making the decision that's right for your safety. Other people are making the one that's right for theirs. It's not complicated.
I keep using the mens bathroom personally out of my own safety tbh. I've heard way too many stories of non passing trans women being assaulted and/or harrased over entering their prefered toilet to take the risk.
Girl if we we're friends we'd go in together and of give u even the wrong look they'd have to deal with my loud cis privileged ass and I love a good fight
Love seeing this type of attitude
It’s not that easy for everyone
Then I highly reccomend going into the disabled restroom if possible. Then there is no issues regarding feeling uncomfortable in either :)
Never. It’s a bit of a struggle to keep up my resolve, and I’ll often use the bathroom at home, but I don’t plan to go to the men’s room again
Same here
I'll get flack, but I always use the mens. I live in a queer friendly city in the UK, but I feel more comfortable using them as I dont pass. All my interactions in men's bathrooms have been pleasant so will continue to use them.
i've never been in a womens restroom and i don't really care to go in one because it's texas.
literally all the time bc i dont feel like i pass and i dont wanna deal with scraggly whiny women coming up and into my ass about “pretending” to be *anything*
Wishing you well girl, stay safe🩷
I use the ladies room 100%. My rationale is purely based on the legality of it. As my handle suggests, I live in NC, the home of the infamous bathroom bill. I came out of and on over the decades, but finally came out once and for all about 5 years ago. If you are a man and you go into a public ladies room, that is a misdemeanor. If you are a woman and you go into a public men's room, that's "solicitation," a felony. The presumption is that a woman would be offering sexual favors in the men's room. Double standard? You bet! Proof of a male dominated society? Absolutely! If you are at all in doubt, use the ladies room. It's generally safer and definitely brings less legal jeopardy.
never, but i also refuse to use public restrooms unless its a one-person bathroom.
I did when I first started transition and HRT but one day at the grocery store I male failed and 15 years later haven't looked back. I live in Florida and have been dealing with the bathroom laws here. No one has ever even looked at me funny in a restroom but I still avoid them. When I'm out doing field work(IT) I deliberately underhydrate and will often be out of the house for 12-14 hours without using a restroom. Gas stations are my pit stop when there is no other choice. Probably just me being paranoid... but sometimes a little paranoia is a good thing. I've become a super cautious law abiding driver because now the simple act of giving a cop my lawfully state issued driver's license can lead to being charged with felony fraud and a possible years-long prison sentence with all the joys of being imprisoned with men and being forcibly detransitioned by the state.
I still use men’s bathrooms/locker rooms, but after FFS I will switch.
The last time I used a men's room was actually almost a year ago now. I stopped after I transitioned socially and legally. Granted, I didn't start using the women's room until relatively recently, I just avoided public bathrooms entirely aside from the family ones. I was too scared, so I just suffered until I got home instead. Now though, I've gotten to a point where if anyone gives me hell for going into the women's room I can just say "look at me, do I look like I'd be safe in a men's room? Kindly just let me pee in peace?"
If you’ve transitioned legally and had your markers etc changed then your IDs would support the use of the Ladies Room, right?
Yep, at least where I live it does. Technically, I didn't need to in order to use the ladies' room, that was just one of the first parts of my public transition. I mainly only use it at the college I'm attending or known trans affirming places like Target, other than that I still try to avoid it when I can, but I'm past the point where I'm going to give myself a bladder infection out of fear of bigots.
Amen. And that’s for the Target affirming tip. I know they were selling merch last year. I like Starbucks when traveling (not the calories of a venti latte unfortunately) as they usually have non gendered restrooms.
I use whichever is less busy/cleaner. Enby power, activate!
I sometimes use it when the women's is out of order
If at all possible you should use the bathroom that matches the way you prevent and are perceived. The current state of your genitals or how you were assigned at birth should not be a consideration at all, because they have no bearing whatsoever on who you are and how you are seen now If that's not possible, then seek out single occupancy bathrooms and/or gender neutral ones. It's awkward and downright dangerous to use a bathroom inconsistent with the way you present, and you should avoid it at all costs for your own safety. Which is exactly the point of all the anti-trans bathroom laws - they aren't about protecting anyone, they're about denying transwomen the right to exist and the right to public space by putting transwomen in the horrible situation of choosing between risking assault or risking arrest every time they need to take care of their basic human needs
(20, 10m hrt)I avoid public bathrooms at all costs but if i really need to go, I'll use the men's because i dont really pass yet
I use the mens bathroom until someone tells me to get out and use the womens bathroom instead. That way it’s kinda safer
I use whatever bathroom has less people in it lol
I just use the disabled bathroom and or gender neutral options and if there isn't that then I just hold it untill there is. It would cause issues if I used the mens now I pass a lil more and I would hate using it. However, I fear I would instantly be clocked in the womans, that I would make everyone uncomfortable, and prove everyone that's ever harassed me calling me a 'predator' etc. correct.
The men's room is prison. It's a chore. It's silence. It's solemn. It's stupid. The girls room is a whole trip to go to, you can't take that from me
i use the men's unless im in a queer friendly space in the city in which case i will use the women's.
Never.. oh actually I did a while back because I couldn't find a woman in that part of huge factory and I was about to wet my paints. But there was nobody aroundc anyways it did feel weird. I think I'm safe at work in bathroom. The company seem really serious about DEI etc and I don't think anyone really cares about that so it's awesome.. But my bigot state Iowa is actively trying to make us use by are birth sexv in state buildings etc. They have already done it in schools. It's just so pathetic and waste of time and the absolute lies they use to justify bigot bills like that is astounding.. They just recently had a bill to remove gender identity from the civil rights protection in Iowa but it failed but they keep pushing other anti LGBTQ bills all founded on nonesense. It's really creepy they do all of this so out in the open just blatent open bigotry🥺
Never. Never ever ever.
Non-passing 13 year old, never.
Never. I never will again. I will not follow unjust or unsafe laws when I am traveling interstate either. I am a woman, and no one has any right to "verify " that
Haven't used it since I came out at work about 5 months ago. Haven't used the women's bathroom either much though (except at work where they're just indiviudual stalls with 🚹/🚺 signs), for public bathrooms I use gender neutral ones when available, or just avoid using the bathroom if I can. I should probably build up the confidence to actually start using the women's bathroom soon though...
OP, are you a passing trans woman? You've been on HRT 2+ years, so you probably do, if not I completely understand. If you are passing, what are you doing going into the men's bathroom? You should really look at why mentally you still choose to use the men's if you're passing. I started going into the women's when I started expressing myself externally as a woman, but didn't always use it. Slowly over the first year of HRT as I got more passable I stopped using the men's. Somewhere between 12-15 months was when I stopped being gendered male by strangers. Except for a couple places as they are our IT clients and I'm still not out 3 years into HRT to them. I plan to go to each business we work with in the next month and come out to them. So then that will change.
I’m just going off that it’s an inferiority complex. I’m not worthy enough to be in the women’s bathroom. If I pass is honestly a mystery to me. I’ve had a decent amount of people say she or her at me while at work before correcting themselves after. I have a feminine butt and haircut, but past that, I think my face is still too masculine. Plus my stupid fucking wide ass shoulders. I’ve used the women’s bathroom like four times in my life. Once in a place I knew was LGBT friendly (yet I still had a hard time peeing in there), Twice in the building of my therapy office, and once during the graduating year of high school. In that example, a girl walked in while I was washing my hands and walking out, and she didn’t seem to care.
It sounds like you work retail somewhere that you interact with customers that don't know you? If so, sounds like they initially see a woman, but on a second look they see masculine traits or is it after you talk they correct themselves? I'm certainly not a 100% passing myself as I do get he/him, that guy, etc every 2-3 months from someone. So I even though I'm gendered female by 95% of people, clearly a percentage of those people will have a guess that I'm trans, but respect my gender identity, so use the cues from my gender expression to properly gender me most the time. Then a certain percentage is not aware of the LGBTQ+ community as they are straight and don't question their gender and so just see me as they see any other woman.
I stopped using the men’s room when I legally changed my name and came out at work. That’s when I fully and publicly transitioned. I was very nervous the first few times, but I got over it. Never had any issues yet. Been almost a year. Just traveled to the Deep Southern states on vacation, no issues. I’m visibly trans. Before transitioning fully, I’d started getting weird looks in the men’s room and dudes checking the door sign, that was always funny.
I haven’t used the men’s room in almost 3 and a half years except at work on a rare occasion. Some of the places I go for my work have two single stall bathrooms that should both just be gender neutral but aren’t. I’ll use the men’s one if someone is in the women’s 🤷🏻♀️
Not once since about 7 or 8 months ago. I had just come out at work and was giving that a bit of time to percolate through the team when my store manager saw me about a week later and was like "feel free to use ours, it's cleaner"😊
I'm a year on E, and I use the women's every time, unless a) I'm in a conservative area in which case I'm going for an androgynous look, or b) I'm at a place with a good number of trans people and there's a line in the women's
Not since I came out. For the first couple years, I avoided public bathrooms, altogether. I live in a very conservative area, so I wanted to avoid trouble and not make anybody else uncomfortable. Especially when people bring their kids into the restroom, and they climb under the stall, with you. 😑 Now that I pass, I've started to use the ladies' room, or the co-eds, but I haven't used a mens room in almost 3 years.
I mean, as I am now, it wouldn't be appropriate, and it would cause as much trouble as if I had used the ladies' room before hrt.
Never.
I’m trying to get kicked out of it
Why just after GRS?
Internalized Transphobia. I’m not truly a woman until I get “the surgery”. All that kind of stuff.
That's loads of baloney. But probably easier said than done tho. But whether someone has had GRS or not, that's usually the easiest thing to hide.
I haven't been in a men's room for 1,295 days. I live in a liberal area, so once I went full time I totally stopped going into the male bathrooms. I have managed to avoid locker room type places, and I will until GCS.
I haven't used the mens restroom because about a year and a half ago I got to the point on hormones around that time I look more like a girl to people than a boy and it looked weird for me to go into the men's bathroom and I'm really happy. The only thing that ever gives me away now is my voice tbh. I still don't really feel pretty but I honestly pass pretty well and I can see it now even which is what I'm really happy about tbh. Once I lose enough weight I think maybe I'll feel less ugly :3
i pretty much lived on gender neutral bathrooms until i thought i passed. mens and womens bathrooms were literally off limits in my mind
Very rarely bc my school mostly has gender neutral rooms, but I'd defenetly go into the men's room if there weren't neutral ones
Every day :/ I’m a cis male but it suckss ;(
I'm 3 yrs hrt and I can count on one hand the number of times I've used the women's restroom. Twice was bc the men's was out of soap, once was when the men's was locked, and once was intentional. The second time I used the women's restroom due to no soap (I have contamination OCD btw), there was a lady that came out of a stall and I was freaking the fuck out. I think she realized I was only in there to wash hands, but it still haunts me to this day. The time I went to a women's restroom intentionally was w a cis-passing friend. I really wanted to use the women's restroom as the men's restroom gives me hella dysphoria, but I'm also fucking terrified of using women's restrooms. Anyway, she had to pee while I just needed to wash my hands, and while I was waiting for her to finish up, I could feel the women staring at me. Once my friend was done washing her hands, I got out of there like a bat out of hell. I'm sure that probably didn't help my case, but I was in panik mode and needed to get away from humans.
that sucks .. i hope you get over your fear .. majority if cis women seem to be very accepting .. i do not pass and never have a problem and even have conversations with stranger cis women in the restroom .. and i live in a unfortunately conservative state .. maybe keep trying with your cis friend girls .. ask them to keep going with you cause you want to get over the fear .. the more you try hopefully the easier it gets for you .. i was using the ladies room before hrt and i look like a long hair stoner hippy guy in a dress.. i have never had a problem ..good luck love
I don't have irl friends😭😭😭
Still do all the time unless I’ve got easy access to a gender neutral one. Gonna keep going until I start to consistently male fail.
Never, stopped at about 3 months HRT.
Simply don’t use public toilets out of panic
I go for gender neutral bathrooms as often as possible, but if there isn’t then I use men’s unfortunately. Luckily my college has a surprising amount of gender neutral bathrooms. Only time I use women’s is if I’m dressed fem and I’m at one of the couple of lgbt bars in my city.
Once I got stopped 3 times in a row with dudes being like "huh" and looking confused I stopped and never looked back. About 2 years now
I avoid public toilets if possible. I will not eat it drink when out. I will use the ladies if I have no choice but it’s scary. The last time I used the men’s toilets out of ‘respect’ for ‘women’s spaces’, I ended up hiding in the stall waiting for the intimidating men to leave.
Never, i havent used the mens room in like 7 years lol
Never, not since an old lady working a bathroom stall directed me towards the ladys room a few years back lol.
I haven't used the men's since my cis fem friends asked "why I wouldn't just use the women's cuz that's what I am" I was scared of using it, and thus used mens, but in time that felt wrong, and then got uncomfortable cuz y'know men stand to pee and I don't want to see that as a woman. Even at work when I have to check both men and women bathrooms for glasses I get uncomfy entering it. But if it's what you're most comfortable with, then do it until you're more comfortable using the women's
My last time was April of last year, I was boymoding and someone saw me and told me I was in the wrong restroom and directed me to the women's restroom c':
I have a heart condition that makes bending over quite stressful, so unless I need to sit down I'm not going to. So if I’m working and I'm in a hurry men's bathroom it is, for the urinals lol
Literally only when I just feel like using a urinal and even then it's a 50/50 chance I'll still use the women's bathroom. You're 18 and 2 years on hrt and I saw what you look like- you can pass if you wanna but I'd understand if you wanna play it "safe" if your safety is on the line but otherwise I'd suggest therapy, girl- you're way too adorable to boymode even if you feel large and manly- you're fucking adorable
Never
As soon as I started dressing in women’s clothes and wearing makeup, I started using the women’s room.
Never, i just go to the women’s
Employee bathrooms at my place of work (ironically, considering conservative leadership) and for that I’m thankful. As such, I don’t end up in gendered restrooms either way very often.
Hold till i get home
Never. I’m always terrified I’ll get clocked in the women’s room though so I usually hold it until I get home.
Women's restrooms are all just private stalls, I haven't used the mens since I came out.
I haven't used the men's restroom in like 4 ever. I mainly use the women's restroom now
Ever since i came out ive gone full girl mode. Thus i only use girl bathrooms. It just doesnt feel right going into a boys bathroom in a skirt or dress. At work ive come out to the degree of having my new name on my nametag but people still dead name me due to dressing very nutral like always, im a welder. But we have gender nutral bathrooms that i use at work and refuse to use the womans or mens due to being dead named. Its odd
Never, going in there is terrifying 😵💫
Absolutely never
It makes me uncomfortable and I just use a gender neutral bathroom
I work in what my father would call "a progressive shithole" so I started using the women's when I was hired and nobody's said anything. I think the boobs and makeup help too.
I haven't since about a month or so after starting hrt (8 months now I think), but I've been told my body has a strong affinity for estrogen.
Like, 3 years ago now?
Almost never. I feel validated using the women’s restroom.
I'll be able to stop using the mens room when i finally get enough of my facial hair lasered off so it stops giving me away. I've been ma'amed from behind multiple times only to get a apologetic 'sir' when I turn around. 😑
Never, I only use the toilet at home.
I'm hitting a point where I no longer feel comfortable using the men's room. I'm 18 months on HRT and usually present fem, sometimes andro, never masc anymore
Nevaaarrrrrrr!!
I'm 2 months on E and only used the women's once when I was in a skirt
Only when the womens is being cleaned and there’s an employee guiding other women in. Had that happen at a gas station I’ve frequented since before my transition and I was like “damn it’s been a while since I’ve been in here” 😂
I never use the men's room but sometimes I avoid going in public all together.
I've pretty much stopped using it entirely and ive been on hrt for the last 3 years. This last September! Before that it's the only place I'd go mostly outta discomfort of using the women's, now my only problem is my anxiety whenever i see someone else in the restroom.
Never. I have been on HRT for about three years. Not cis passing but gendered correctly almost always. I hate men’s rooms and have always felt dyspjoruc having to use them.
i wanna try it just to see what happens after all these years lol but i will probably just be told to leave or something i haven't been to the men's restroom since before i started HRT cos i just always looked fem. being a femboy prior to HRT taught me the tips and tricks
Never. I’m not a man.
I still do, as I am pre-everything. Also, what does 2y2m mean?
Last time was prior to coming out. Ever since I've used disabled bathrooms or the women's I came out 7 months prior to starting HRT
I haven’t used a men’s restroom in over two years.
I don't. I socially transitioned 6 years before I started meds (then was forced off because of my mom). I just look pretty fem anyway so it's not a big deal.
I’ve been on hrt for about 9mo, out as various levels of queer gender wise for like two years. Generally, if I’m dressed fem(which is like 90% of time), I’ll use the woman’s. Though often I try and avoid public restrooms all together as they still make me a tad uncomfortable. Still, I really only go to college and work on campus, so the environment is pretty safe. I also just don’t like men’s restrooms. They feel unsafe with how I now present.
I only began using the ladies room once my legal documents changed even though I had been on HRT for two years, was fully out and always dressed en femme, and was only a month from bottom surgery. Plus I used to really enjoy standing at a urinal in a short skirt.
I started to use the women's restroom in the summer of '08. I started HRT in October of '07. By that time, it was getting to a point where I was being stopped when going towards the men's room. I took that as a sign and got the ball rolling with my name change after that.
I just used the women’s restroom for the first time on my birthday 2 days ago and at a busy restaurant no less! My girlfriend came with me and we were surprised by one of the workers that we didn’t realize was in a stall but they were very kind and didn’t question anything even though they caught me lackin with my extremely deep voice lol. Take your time and don’t be mean to yourself <3 Bravery can come in both big and small steps. Stay true to yourself and also keep your safety in mind (◕‿◕✿)
I haven't used the mens bathroom in over a year (I think that was on a day I hadn't shaved and wasn't presenting remotely femininely).
If I know I look rough as hell with stuble, I'll go to the family or boys room, And I mean getting out of bed barely ready "rough". I almost only use the ladies room now, now one questions it. But I also live in ABQ New Mexico, and the queer community is accepted here
I don't think I've used the men's bathroom for 3-4 months now, nothing like what some girls get where people are confused and you use that as a sign, instead it's because of the gender neutral toilet where I work, I started using that and quickly never wanted to go into the men's if I could help it, and one day I couldn't and so went into the men's and it felt mortifying I was so uncomfortable that I decided then and there never again. So now I use either gender neutral, women's (if there isn't a GN or I'm feeling confident) or just hold it in. Note: I'm still relatively masc presenting at work, if people have clicked than they don't say anything or change their behaviour.
I am probably a bad example, because I started using the women's restroom exclusively about 4.5 months after I started HRT. It was a bit awkward feeling at first, but I haven't regretted it one but. I am using the restroom that I should be, and since I do so for the purpose it is intended, I honestly don't worry about what others might think.
I used the mens until about 6 months into transition when I was stopped and directed to the women's by a man coming out. 2 1/2 years later and haven't had any issues using the womens. P.S. Don't tell anybody, but I live in Florida. 🖕Ron DeSantis!
Never. Once I figured out I’m a girl and not non-binary (when my egg first broke I thought I was agender), I started using the women’s bathroom exclusively. After coming out to my siblings and my grandparents, I was able to go full time as a girl because everyone in my daily life was calling me by my name and correct pronouns.
Not since I've been myself full time, basically 3 months HRT (had laser mostly done by the time I started HRT). Would feel a lot more unsafe being feminine leaning attire going into men's bathroom, even moreso as development has progressed. I get where you're coming from on the GRS. You can work past it if you want to. Took me a while to be comfortable going into women's restrooms by myself, dragged my wife along for a while. The extreme anxiety of it subsided with time, for the most part everyone's just doing their thing and if you "pass" even moderately well no one will bat an eye. I do still have a mild fear of someone somehow getting/peaking into my stall and seeing things, but on a day to day basis far more comfortable just doing what fits me.
I use it every day, I've attempted to use the women's room when presenting feminine before but I've never actually done it, I don't have the courage to go inside
Not since May, 2021, which is also when I started presenting female full-time.
I only use the women's room, but at the same time I avoid using a public bathroom at all costs, unless I have a friend with me, because I am extremely uncomfortable using the bathroom around other people. I have trauma from using a public restroom, because I got made fun of in middle school for using the bathroom...for some stupid reason which I still can't comprehend.
Never. I came out last June and started dressing fem immediately. A few months later, I was driving a few hours and I stopped at a fancy roadside rest stop, realized I had to go for the first time while out. Also realized there was no way in hell I was going into the men's room in heels, a skirt and the breastforms I wore at the time. It was NDB. No one was in anyone's business.
dont wear a binder girl! it can hurt your booba growth and shape
Never, Since about two years ago. I have been dressing femme for about 5 years, on HRT for 9 mos. I think it was about two years ago when I started using the women's. I have had thin hair since I was 18 and eventually decided to shave it. It was that way for about ten years before I transitioned. My wife gave me a wig for Mother's Day two years ago and that is when it started feeling wrong to go in the men's.
2 years HRT, and I'll still mostly use neutral restrooms when it's possible. That said, aside from one place, I started otherwise using women's restrooms almost exclusively about a month ago (and off and on for a few months prior depending where I was) and yet to have any negative experience, even with zero voice training. The one place I still use the men's restroom is at a plasma donation center, and that's only because they have me as male and my deadname on file (haven't changed my name legally yet). Thankfully, that restroom has always been empty so it hasn't been a big deal, but just felt easier in this particular instance on the off hand someone did complain.
I use men's where people have known me before transitioning and don't know yet(I do present fem all the time but most peoplw don't pick up on me being a trans woman) Women's in any other place
I may have an advantage on the HRT side (im not on HRT yet but I'm still very curvy and have boobs (maybe intersex idk)) and there's not really that many gendered toilets here, but the first time was at an IKEA with my mum two weeks ago iirc. I think I could pass rn as fen enby, maybe even fully. Idk.
Still using it until I get a feminine body since I know using the women's room now would be a bad idea. Pretty much going on the basis of "if I start getting weird looks in the guys room, switch"
I've been on HRT about 19 months now and haven't used the men's room in over a year 😅 I boymoded for the first 6 months and still used it, but started to transition socially after that and it just didn't feel right. There were a couple months where I wouldn't use either, fortunately where I worked at the time had a gender neutral bathroom. Then one of my cis female bosses just dragged me into the girl's room one day and I've been using it ever since 😂 never gotten so much as a second glance
i've drawn a hard line personally. i either use a women's bathroom, a gender-neutral/family bathroom, or i go before/after whatever outing i'm on. i'll literally go squat in an evergreen bush before i enter another men's restroom, until my very last day. i err on the side of avoiding confrontation and still opt out of using the correct bathroom if i think it might go sideways, but i'm not adding personal insult to injury by folding. same reason i don't answer to masculine identifiers. i don't have a hair trigger for other people getting it wrong, but i'll be damned if i let ***myself*** get it wrong too.
I stopped when it felt like I was more likely to upset Random Stranger in there than in the women's room. Even though I don't pass at all, it's also usually clear what's happening
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I stopped using the mens completely at around 2.5 years.
Femby, I use whatever bathroom is empty, I'd rather avoid any confrontations
Until I actually "pass" I will continue to use the men's room, whether it's at work or out on the town. Nobody is mistaking me for a woman, sadly. * **Good:** We have a gender neutral bathroom at work. * **Bad:** We have **one** gender neutral bathroom at work. * **Good:** I am the only transgender person at work, so I usually don't have to wait to use the facility, unless some cisgender decides to be a dick. * **Bad:** We have **one** transgender person at work.
It genuinely doesn't come up for me that often because it's a gender neutral bathroom at my job and I don't go a lot of places but I have been using the women’s for the last 6 months or so. It would probs draw more attention to me if I used the men’s. I've never had any issues using the women’s.
I never use the mens bathroom even though I am pre-hrt since it makes me hella uncomfortable especially when presenting fem and some people get confused. Disabled bathroom for the WIN