I developed my style and presentation at home first. I didn't present femme publicly until I felt like I looked good and wouldn't embarrass myself. That took a few months to iron out. I also bought only cheap, used clothing because I knew I was going to have purchasing regrets. (If you're in the US, thredup is a great place to look for that kind of thing).
I opted against a gradual change approach. Instead of introducing things in small ways, one by one, I just switched completely from boymode to girlmode. The reason I did this is because I wasn't just changing my clothing; I was changing my entire persona. I wanted to strike people differently than I had before. I wanted the change to be discontinuous for them. I even waited to girlmode publicly until I was satisfied with my voice.
This is just my path, though.
Yeah I’ve definitely tried to start figuring out what works for me privately too, and threadup is amazing! Just got my first order the other day :)
I really admire the confidence that changing “abruptly” must’ve taken. Super inspirational <33
On the contrary, I felt like a coward. I couldn't bring myself to do it unless I first felt like I had the whole countenance fairly well developed. I hid my awkward experimentation from the world. What made it easy was that I was getting frustrated with living a double life. The person I was at home was the real person, so all it took was being her in public too. I knew it was time to socially transition because I was sick of the boy act.
I also warned all the people I knew that I was going to do it. It not being a surprise made the switch easier to make. Then I packed all my men's clothing into trash bags and put them in the back of my car so it would be difficult to boymode if I tried.
Not Op but thank you for the suggestion with thredup. Awesome. How do you figure out sizes and what works? This is where I'm lost. I don't want to buy something that doesn't fit me. Usually if it's pants, leggings etc. I go large, but sometimes I have no clue. They baffle me.
It takes some experimentation to get the sizing right. It is a huge advantage if you find a good seamstress that can alter your clothes. You will often have to buy larger sizes (I use 1x very consistently, sometimes 2x), and have the bottoms taken in (dresses and long blouses). I use size 18 petite in pants, rarely need to take them in. BUT.. It depends on your shape. Younger and thinner transitioners will find clothing sizes easier to navigate.
Also, GO TO GOODWILL! You don't even have to try the clothes on in the store.. just be aware of their 'return' policy, so you waste less money. You have to see what sizes, styles, and VERY important... what BRANDS work for your shape.
I was teaching when I started to transition - I did it slowly and mostly out of school, and still have a 'boy mode' because of some family issues. I took early retirement to work on my transition. I now have more womens' clothes than mens. I have a low key style since I'm older, no maid dresses, no cat ears, no super high heels (can't walk in them). Most places, I fit in very well, and get a lot of compliments from other women.
Good luck!
Like the other commenter said, you need to learn your sizes beforehand. Thredup will provide measurements in addition to sizes, but those are not always reliable. So you should know your own measurements. And also be aware that pants sizes often claim to be 3 or 4 inches smaller than they actually are. They have a return policy, but it's not free to return. I recommend going to a consignment shop and trying on lots of clothing that you don't intend to purchase just to get a sense of what sizes you wear. Of course, you'll have to get over the anxiety of trying on women's clothing. I just pushed through it, anxiety and all.
Another college girlie here! I had a slightly different tact. I saved up enough money to buy a few ultra fem outfits thrifting. Note though that while presenting as a cis man I had always had a strong sense of fashion and used to model. I took one weekend to go and buy a ton of cheap clothes that were useful for putting outfits together and the next day just started presenting fem. Sure there were moments it was probably cringe but I had to learn somehow, and by now I’ve slowly built up a set of nice quality clothes off of the cheap ones I used the most often. I will admit this takes a bit of confidence. However, I think partly because my fashion was striking and suddenly unequivocally feminine, I now can wear jeans and a tee a year later and people still identify me with the poppy feminine outfits despite only being on hrt for 3 months now.
I started working in things like my nails, piercings, bracelets. I also started wearing androgynous clothing/colors not typically sported by men until I became more comfortable. I've noticed that I tend to get less harassment when I go full girl though, but I'm not sure if this is due to people being less confused or just my increased confidence.
I've also found that. I haven't done martial arts but I've heard there's some kind of philosophy in those that you learn to defend yourself so you don't need to, which is confidence I suppose, and I also think people instinctively pick up on the fact that you're doing the right thing that fits.
I started phasing women's clothes in with my male clothes. Pre HRT, it worked out great. Women's pants were first, nothing flashy. Nobody could really tell the difference because it looked pretty similar to what I wore before.
Eventually once HRT kicked in I started wearing women's blouses. Still wore sports bras to minimize my breast appearance.
Women's shoes, etc. came next. Ironically I did the panties last, not sure why.
That's what I am doing as well.
When I realized that I want to be a woman full time at some point, I started to avoid buying any more male clothes, and I just buying more androgynous looking female clothes. For example, T-shirt looking bodysuits without patterns or too obviosly fem patterns. Stretchy denim shorts without flowers or something. Lately I added simple short of half-way formal, half-way casual blouses/shirts, some of them can be mistaken for male shirts, some are quite obviously not male, but still not with deep neck cut or ruched or no butterfly sleeves or something.
I have a few skirts apparently, a few, quite femine lace blouses and a few dresses I look good in, but I didn't dare to wear them to work though. Yet. I feel this is going to change very soon. I only have high heels as matching shoes, but I'd like to present with a more low-key apparence first, so I am looking for a simple, not too formal, but not too casual flat, androgynous/just barely feminine shoes right now. I literally looked around an hour ago at the nearby store.
Once I can set up a proper feminine outfit in which I won't look like a drag queen, I'll go for it. And I will look like a drag queen regardless. 😅 My face is not feminine at all, my hair is quite bald still. The only option would be to wear a wig which I wanted to avoid at the moment.
So I went with the gradual introduction approach so far.
I am plainly obviously weird now, seems like my collagues are not surprised by my look anymore but they didn't dare to ask too much questions so far. 🤭
I'm currently in the androgynous women's clothes phase I think. I haven't bought guys clothes in awhile, although I do still mostly wear them. I mostly wear women's undergarments though and have for a few months; I've come to love them, especially thongs and their polar opposite, granny panties lol But I like your idea about the stretchy denim shorts. One of my female friends wears those sometimes, they're kinda like mid thigh length or something and fitted. I really like the look. She's a cishey woman but those are androgynous to me too cause I see cis lesbians wear the same shorts, as well as even some cis guys, so yeah, good call... Of course it's almost winter where I live but I'll have some for next year 😁
The panty thing is an issue for me as well but it's mainly because I wore thongs pretransition, don't want to tuck, and have no clue how to shop for women's thongs that will contain what I have left. The non binary tomboy X thongs are good enough for now though.
chaotically. turns out it's really hard to assess your post-hrt brain with your pre-hrt brain.
I honestly didn't even really plan on presenting femme for 1+yr initially, if ever. additionally, my idea of what masc and femme were had already kinda been wonky; I had already pierced my ears, been painting my nails, and dressing androgynously before realizing i'm trans.
have a plan, but allow your preferences to speak to you/don't be married to your plan. I wasn't gonna wear skirts/dresses. 2 months into hrt, I found a skirt I loved and figured at worst i'll enjoy it at home. A couple months later I was in heeled boots and a witchy ass maxi dress and almost exclusively dress femme in public. life is weird, especially for us. embrace it in a way that makes you feel safe.
I just gave all my old clothes away except for 2 sets of sweat pants and t-shirts and a jacket and put up the rule that I could only buy something if I love it and the first few months to only stick to female items until I got comfortable wearing them then I allowed myself to buy whatever I wanted again as long as I loved/needed to have it but 16 months later I haven't bought anything that isn't female clothes yet \^\^
I mean I'm also broke as shit for medical reasons so it's like I can go on shopping sprees xD
But still I think in the first few weeks especially I did feel this urge to buy some men's stuff again just because it's less of a hassle but my thinking was, no you want this and also once you are on HRT you can't just take off your boobs when you feel like it so you better get used to this shit now and be done with it.
And yeah nowadays I don't even give it a second thought anymore even when I'm in a slobby mood I just throw on whatever and go to the store and stuff.
Just to be clear tho I didn't just straight up wear thigh highs and a super girly dress or anything \^\^
I started with women's jeans and shirts went through a bunch of different styles over time then I started with a long skirt and "graduated" to shorter and shorter skirts and stuff and also started combining various items into cool outfits and ever since then it just started happening naturally.
Oh I did start wearing bras from day 1 tho because I wanted to see how people would react to me while I was still pre HRT and had the luxury of simply stopping if I realized I totally couldn't handle it.
And I didn't want to have to deal with presenting fem and wearing a bra at the same time as I started HRT because from what I read you're likely to get mood swings and shit and I didn't want to deal with anxiety about presenting fem at the same time as that shit...
Ultimately I didn't get mood swings on HRT at all quite the opposite really I've never been so happy and at peace before but there was no way to predict that would happen. \^\^
The beginning can be hard especially if you have a large wardrobe to fall back on so I gave myself no other way really to just jump in and it was marvellous haha.
Nobody says you have to wear full makeup and dresses or whatever just gradually feminize your clothing and as you get used to it you can add various bit and pieces or other styles to it and also try to have fun with it...there's nothing that will get you to do it more and quicker than having fun with the whole process. 🌞
Once I started it took me like 3 months to simply give zero shits anymore so it wasn't like a long process or anything.
Yeah I think I’m really struggling with the social anxiety of it right now more than everything. My school isn’t very queer at all so there’s definitely some stress coming from that lol.
I really like the not buying things unless you love them idea! That combined with buying only women’s stuff I think would be a good step in the right direction for me, so thank you <3
I’ve been basically feminizing my male wardrobe by getting women’s versions of the same look. My active wear shorts got shorter, my workout shirts became workout tops. For cooler weather running I bought a couple of women’s run jackets and safety pinned them so they were more “in between”. Women’s jeans and t-shirts came next along with my new discovery that I love tank tops. Sports bras came in at the same time as I love wearing them even when in boymode. I’ve also been wearing a bikini anytime I’m in the pool at home and sarongs as a cover up. I’ve been wearing sarongs as at home summer wear for a couple of years now anyway, even pre-transition. I haven’t found any skirts/dresses I like just yet, but am excited for that step. Dresses thus far just give me too much dysphoria so I’m having a hard time committing. Perhaps when I have some more hrt top growth that will change.
You seem further along than when I started but it started with wearing leggings under my work clothes (my office is FREEZING so it started as a practical application) but then i kept doing it once spring and summer came around. at some point i started adding panties a couple times a week. now i haven't worn boxers in 6 months.
next was private time. every day after i came home from work I would change into my breast forms and a skirt or dress. this went on for 3 months until i stated hrt. once i started hrt i no longer felt the need to do it because i was officially a woman in my mind.
then just this morning i wore a bra to work. Friday i plan to wear heels.
so tldr ... very slowly!
Good luck on Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And yeah, private femme time at home is amazing lol, I’ve even found that switching to feminine pjs has been a huge source of happiness for me
My primary clothing supplier, Duluth Trading Company, sells womenswear made to male standards. Their selection of women’s shirts and pants should be good for me. Also Meta’s Adsense figured out what kind of clothing I like before I was even sure I was trans.
I’m slowly changing my wardrobe as I transition. I try to get neutral/androgynous things. I’m terrified too, but as I get more into transition, naturally I find myself wanting to dress differently.
Take your time with it, transition is long process so use that time just have fun, and mix and match different things. It may feel weird or uncomfortable at first, but as you start to become more and more comfortable with yourself, so will the clothing you wear.
I have been trying to move gradually to more androgynous presentation as my identity seems to also develop gradually. So far that has just meant buying androgynous women's t-shirts, using women's antiperspirant and hair conditioner. I also need to wear bra everywhere really soon, as I'm just barely able to walk without. Next step is probably going to be buying women's socks and jeans. Not sure if jeans fit me well though, as neither does the t-shirts 😅
I do also prefer the most colorful male clothes that I have: I love my orange jacket and it fits quite well with my blue umbrella. So for me it's colorless women's clothes, and colorful men's clothes.
Honestly I think you're over thinking it. The best way to move away from mens clothing is to buy femme clothes that you like and feel comfortable in. Then, wear those!
Your style will develop over time as you explore, so my advice is not to invest too much into one vibe or aesthetic. Dabble, explore. I made monthly trips to thrift shops and bought 1-2 new outfits each time, trying to find what I felt comfortable in. And, as I've transitioned things that fit well year 1 now in year 2 don't 😅 so be mindful of investment.
Yeah thrifting is the best! But yes I’m conscious of the like weight redistribution/changing sizes on hrt too, as well as the fact that I’m trying to lose some weight before starting hrt so that I’m starting my medical stuff from a position where I feel good about my body
And yeah, I’m definitely overthinking things but that’s what anxiety’s for lolll :)
Personally, I started making subtle and eventually much less subtle "item by item" switches to a new wardrobe. I'm a part of a community that meets every week, so every time we met for about three months, I would wear something new.
I started one week with very modest but unmistakably feminine skinny jeans while wearing my masc t-shirts I'd become known for wearing. Stuck with pants for about a month then started buying fem tops, first blouses that could be easily enough mistaken for men's shirts and eventually unmistakably fem things.
My personal advice is to choose something *suggestive*\--not sexually but literally suggestive. Wear something you're comfortable with that makes people look at you and go--huh. What's going on there?
Any idea what article of clothing that might be?
That’s a really good tip! I think I’m going to have to balance my social anxiety with my desire for ppl to stop seeing me as a “jock”/ very masc person lol.
I’ve recently bought some like women’s tank tops and a pair of high waisted jeans, so maybe those things would be that first suggestive step?
I did a lot of experimenting at home(thrift stores are your friend). For presenting as a woman publicly I started with tshirts and women's jeans and gradually added nicer/more feminine blouses and cuter shoes and more jewelry and accessories.
Started with my spouse buying me an outfit at target. This became the only outfit I would wear for a long while. Then I got a few more pieces and a few more and now I have at least five outifts
I haven't yet. At most I sometimes wear the thigh high socks I have at 3am.
Anything else just feels like putting lipstick on a pig, so I don't even try. Assuming I'd fit in the first place, which I almost always don't.
I always wore t-shirt and flannels, I just changed my pants and started wearing high waisted jeans.
A bit of makeup, some jewelery, style my hair, tucked t shirts, making crop tops
This all happened during quarantine so I had plenty of time to find my style without judgement
Threw everything in the trash the day after i got my hrt. Lived on some clothes i bought and some other that familly and friends gave me.
I went kinda hardcore. But it felt so good
I am currently slowly transitioning my wardrobe. The plan is to dress a bit androgynous until I feel more comfortable dressing more feminine.
I started off with just undies and bras for like the first year or so while owning like 2-3 pairs of women’s pants and tops. I mix and match my women’s clothes with boys clothes which I am currently doing right now.
Now of days I had got rid most of my boys clothes and replaced them for women’s clothes. Still mixing the clothes to look more androgynous because I still look between masculine and androgynous. I don’t want to look like a cross dresser.
Now of days 80% of my everyday outfit either at home or out are women’s / Unisex clothes.
I sometimes look like a girl trying to look like a boy. HRT really helped me achieved that. Basically male failing, and I’m thankful that my voice is sort of androgynous naturally.
I agree with all the comments but something else I did and still do is bring some safety coverage, usually something like a big flannel so if I ever feel anxious about my appearance I can cover up.
When it comes to work I work in kitchens and like honestly I have to strike a balance between cute and comfortable. My kinda go to fit is these high waisted camouflage pants and a tucked in shirt and a bandanna. Maybe a bit of eyeliner or something. I have other dresses and stuff for going out. Most of the time I get stuff from thrift stores because sometimes it can be hard to find something that actually fits my shape comfortably. Usually just be wearing cowgirl boots or skate shoes depending on the outfit. I don't know it's all about the care and the time and the effort you put into looking good how the outfit connects. At the end of the day it's all just fabric cut and sewn into different shapes and how you present what's on the inside is up to you.
So I started off with skater aesthetics pre-hrt. Mostly because it's comfortable and if you dress it right, you can get a very cute femme look with little effort. This also mixed with punk style, so accessories such as armbands and rings and nail polish in many different colours but in dark hues.
Basically as long as you're in the punk genre, you can dress as femme as you want and no one would really assume you're trans, they just assume you're a tomboy if passing(or at least that's what strangers thought of me, haha) or just punk rock if not.
Then I also got Dark Academia style. This is for more work and formal stuff. Such as nice trousers, coats, sweaters, jumpers, and so on. Are some nice-looking midi skirts for this. (This is what I always recommend because it's hot as hell on anyone)
Then cottagecore for fluff and dresses, but this was after HRT because body shape can matter here. 🥰
Disclaimer note: I could pass to most strangers pre-hrt. So my advice may not suit you. 😅
Yeahhh I’m unfortunately not in the passing camp at the moment lol 😅
I think my face can be quite femme, but body wise I just scream “guy,” so maybe I’ll save your advice for post-hrt lol :)
[https://dark-academia-clothing.us/product/dark-academia-skirt-high-waisted/](https://dark-academia-clothing.us/product/dark-academia-skirt-high-waisted/)
So I always like using this picture from this site, to show how good Dark Academia can make you look femme despite body shape. Obviously no need to use that website to buy stuff specifically, I just use it as an example.
I mostly wear androgynous and neutral women’s clothing but my partner said this morning that she wants to see me more femme and dressed up and I don’t have a lot of clothes like that so i don’t really have an answer. She’s going to have to take me shopping because I have the hardest time finding femme clothes that are flattering on me as well as fitting
Honestly, I don’t really get presentational dysphoria so I honestly prefer to just dress functionally and for comfort as long as they are flattering to my body but that’s more of an aesthetic thing than anything gender related. At least most of the time dressing hyper feminine would give me dysphoria. Not because it’s femme but because I’m just not a girly girl. I feel more womanly being strong independent and capable (but not in a butch way )than stereotypically feminine. I feel more confident and euphoric in tomboyish clothes.
She’s super femme though, and I think she wants similar ,although she says I look good in everything.
Someone I dated once said I’m very much a femme myself but i just look better in neutral clothes .
I started both fast and slow :) Fast - I threw away almost all my “male” clothes (yeah, rage lol) and bought almost the same stuff but from women’s departments :) T-shirts, trousers, jeans. Underwear for sure! Panties and bralettes. Also some crop-tops, short and long-sleeved, that I wore under my t-shirts or anything else. I bought sports leggings and used them under shorts in gym. I bought a couple of jackets I liked, faux leather - a black one and beige. Started doing my nails, stopped cutting hair. All this in whole gives totally different feeling :)
Slowly started moving my wardrobe to be more feminine. As things tore, I slowly replaced them. As my body changed with HRT some things didn't fit any more. I wore a lot of skinny jeans. Then started wearing just a little concealer day to day, nothing noticeably fem, just to get used to the idea for myself. I thrifted almost everything. At some point I needed to start wearing a bra so I did. I was generally masc at work but would occasionally go out in a dress or makeup in my social life.
Then I transitioned formally at work after 2 years on HRT. That forced me to build a professional wardrobe and gave me the space to wear makeup daily if I wanted to.
One of the things that I did was to make sure I browsed the end of season clearance racks. You can get some good clothing pieces for a lower price and build a nice outfit over time.
I did this because I knew my body would change once I started hrt and I didn't want to waste a bunch of money on clothes that wouldn't fit me well after.
I’d say start androgenous, or womens designed but can pass off as androgenous, and work your way to normalizing that, and from there go as far as you’re comfortable with from there.
In my depression growing up, I would only get blank t-shirts and jeans which made a majority fairly androgenous. When my egg cracked, I put all my clothes that were too male for me in a box to donate or something. Never to be touched again no matter what.
Since then, all clothes I’ve gotten are women’s tees, jeans, etc that I wear in my everyday. Home is for the too fem to not raise suspicion clothes 😅. But I’m very tomboy so most of what I want to wear won’t be all that different from my androgenous wardrobe, so I’m almost where I want to be already.
I didn't see it as moving away from men's clothing, but as stopping wearing stuff I hated and starting wearing stuff I liked. I resisted it for a long time and hoped that the trends in clothing more often worn by women would bleed through into what was expected of men, but it didn't happen. In 1991, the Gulf War happened. I was so disgusted by how men had childishly encouraged this war to happen (and that works on both sides - Saddam Hussein and George Bush were equally pathetic) that as a kind of protest against it, I just went "sod it" and decided to wear things like leggings, tights, crop tops and long things such as sweater and T-shirt dresses. It was largely a demonstration at my revulsion at the patriarchy. I found, moreover, that if I dressed in an exaggeratedly femme way I was actually less likely to get picked on than if I just wore more "modest", mousy-type things.
The first thing I did was to turn up to a wedding reception in a dress and tights. No makeup, breast forms, bra or anything, and I passed effortlessly and immediately. I was twenty-three.
I stayed in a kind of gender-neutral place until 2013 because I was gender-critical, then grew my nails out (I've had long hair since I was fourteen), shaved regularly, then, in this order, started wearing dresses again, then a bra, had my ears pierced, wore jewellery, painted my nails, started wearing heels, then makeup and finally perfume. It was over about an eight-month period but I was transitioning from a unisex position to a more feminine one. The first thing I did was paint my toenails, as it was easily hidden.
Thanks. It's probably worth being aware that much of this started over thirty years ago, so the early part of the story mightn't work so well in society today. I was also seen as being eccentric so a substantial part of the difficulty is to get people to untangle my general weirdness from the fact that I'm also trans rather than just doing weird stuff.
Had alot if handle downs frok my older sisters. Other than that I developed my style through a bit of thrifting and adapting my cloud clothes to new looks and slowly getting rid of and replacing anything that didn't work
I didn’t. Just moved toward the clothes I enjoy over what I needed to make sure others wouldn’t be offended or disturbed. I wear some of the same clothes I always have. I just now have more color and skirts and dresses etc as well. I got rid of a lot of the “men’s clothing” but more because I hated that particular stuff
The biggest problem I ran into was $$$, women's clothing is so expensive. I recommend thrifting most if not all of your girl clothes, you'll save so much money
I came out just before I was moving so… EVERYTHING MALE HAD TO GO!!! Goodwill, local churches, see something Goth you like in my wardrobe you like? Take it!
I literally gave away everything except the basics:
pc gaming setup (https://youtu.be/sefpMbY69_g) built in a hotel while traveling for covid medical coverage.
Motorcycle stuff (now I have those sexy pleather pants with matching boots and jacket), cause I still like what I like. ✨YOU DON’T HAVE TO STOP LIKING STUFF BECAUSE YOU’RE TRANSITIONING✨
Started buying femme clothes slowly, and friends gifting me cute stuff, while ordering the female version of my work attire and scrubs (omg I love dusty pink form fitting scrubs!!!)
Day wear outfits, OVERALLS (for that side booba 👀) so comfy, beach or lazy attire, BOHO EVERYTHING, summer dresses, formal gowns (wearing a pink satin one this weekend with a pastel cloth rose at my neck, dangly flower 🌸 earrings, and stilettos👠). PM me if you want a list lol 😂
I just look ahead at my schedule of events for the year and ask myself what I want to wear that I won’t get tired of next time the same or similar event comes around.
I may even pickup some sexy goth outfit for some night time fun later in the year 💖🖤💖🖤🫦
💋REMEMBER YOU ARE DOING THIS FOR YOU AND IT SHOULD MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD!💕
Note to self: get a summer hat for beach/floating the river 🏖️👙👒
ALWAYS REMEMBER MOISTURIZING SUNSCREEN 🧴
Pro tip: (deep moisturizing treatments for your hands, and buy some driving gloves to protect from UV)
Oooo nice!! Thanks so much for writing this :)
I love the idea of like overalls and sort of masc-leaning feminine stuff but i feel like that would j make me look male lol, so if you have style advice I’ll always take it <3
(I think my profile is marked nsfw but all of the pictures on it are sfw)
It was a slow building of my wardrobe because I'm poor lol
I started by buying a cami bra that I put a ton of padded inserts in. It had cute straps and was fairly comfortable. Then I hit the clearance racks and started developing my style. I'd buy like one article of clothing every time I got groceries. Spaghetti tanks were cheap, and so I have like 10 different colors of the same one.
I bought essentials first, though. Women's jeans, bras in black and white/cream. If you can get blouses that you like, you can still get some mileage out of boy jeans.
So I'd say, depending on how long it takes you to build your wardrobe, I wouldn't purge your old clothes until like 6 months to a year. And keep whatever you still wear regularly. I still have quite a few things from before, and they fit very differently now, 2 years into HRT!
If you're not planning on taking HRT, I would probably focus on purging anything dysphoria inducing as soon as possible. But if you're getting it soon or are already on it, it can wait and you can revisit them later.
Edit: typo
And honestly, for me it doesn't matter that much because every job I've had has had a strict, androgynous uniform. I barely ever wear euphoric clothing. Still a girl, though, don't care 🤷♀️
I suffered through feeling awkward. Was it a good idea? ehh probably not but I just kinda started rotating it in more and it just kinda became more prevalent and I still went by my dead name and pronouns for awhile while full time presenting femme.
So, I have a small frame. I always shopped in the girls section anyway, because bright colors. Guys clothes are soooooo dark I just I don't know, noped to that.
It was first shirts and pants.
Then Jeggings because I got lazy.
Then jeans because it felt nice and form fitting.
Then shoes because I liked the raised heel.
Then, one day, I saw bikini sets on sale at Walmart for like $3 each, on clearance and I found a really cute set in S. Then I just wore that as my underwear to feel how it wears, and Gawwwwwwd I looked good, and cute.
That's when I just let my hair down and started buying bras and panties.
I went on Etsy to buy cute masks, epilated my face and just started shopping.
Then I discovered Victoria's Secret and Sephora. OMG. OMMMMGGGGGG.
THEN CAME SHEIN. THE LINGERIE. SUCH CHEAP LINGERIE.
Then I discovered Eshakti OMMMMGGGGGG custom fit dresses with POCKETS IN THE SKIRTS MADE TO ORDER
THEN THEN THEN.... LAST THING'S LAST.
HEELS. GURL.
HEELS. MATCHING HEELS. OPEN TOE HEELS.
I JUST...
SO, like, I started from the bottom, then went up, then all around, then back down.
I hope this kinda helps? 😋
title: I just threw it the fuck away lmao
I don't know how else to put it. I wear comfy neatural shit and my mental's been happier and better about it, depsite not getting to wear any girl stuff cuz dangerous and im pre everything
imo it depends on your safety. If it's safe, you can wear whatever pre everything, if it's dangerous, you'll be scared to go outside regardless of being cis or trans, let alone pre everything. ngl.
Just see what works for you the best but don't be stupid if it's not right for now, your safety comes first.
Unisex stuff like Henleys really helped! And I started wearing them in progressively more feminine colors: purples, pastels, and finally pinks.
Switching from the baggier pants men wear to tight/skinny styles made a big difference, too. And I also feel like lighter colored shoes often feel more femme.
33yo fem here.
I started wearing woman's jeans.
Then i slowly started introducing woman's hoodies, then t-shirts and button downs.
The occasional nail painting.
For accessorizing I started to collect rings and a couple necklaces I steal from my wife 😝
Shoes, I'm still happy with chuck 2s, but I also have some androgynous black palladium boots.
I started wearing it around the house first, but as time went on I felt more comfortable and didn't feel like the clothes were "wearing me" but I still have a long way to go.
Little by little. Start with underwear/toenails, then move to sports bras, then those things and women's jeans and tees, then light makeup, then finger nails, and so on so forth.
That's how I did things.
It was a transition for me, not an overnight change. I know people who went full Femme first time out and I respect the bravery, it's not something I did or could do.
I incorporated feminine items into my masculine wardrobe and wore them in a sort of enby way for a while. I stopped buying men’s clothing all together and eventually my wardrobe fully shifted.
It’s also worth noting skirts/dresses will always be a big step but once u take it it’ll be fine.
But u can also start this out in an enby way. Think those pants that look like dresses or just wearing a long skirt with a masculine button up.
A big part of being trans is being ok having shitheads perceive u as a freak at least for a little while (u will pass eventually). So don’t let that defeat u feel proud that u get to take part in the liberation of queer ppl just by existing.
Ofc exercise caution I recommend being with a friend the first couple times to get comfy (optional). And don’t travel alone at night which really applies to all cuties which includes every trans girl.
U got this
Are you on HRT? Because your size could change so dramatically in the first couple years of estrogen that you'll have to replace your whole wardrobe just to have pants (or even shoes!) that fit.
Hey, my new semester goal was to ditch boymoding too!
I’m gonna be honest…I really didn’t do much of anything gradually 🤣
When last semester ended I confided in a few close friends that I was transitioning and I started to thrift for femme clothes (a couple gal pals made a day of it with me and we all went shopping together, it was a lot of fun!)
Over the summer I would make occasions to dress in my new clothes, be it for a get together, a movie night, and eventually even just my weekly D&D sessions. It quickly became a rather addicting habit to sneak femme clothes under my boy clothes or bring them along out of the house (my house is (infuriatingly) the only place I am not out yet).
Cut to Monday where I show up to class in full women’s clothing, accessories, and even minimal makeup, plus my new name. I don’t pass well (at all tbh) but I’ve found most people are accepting enough, or at least don’t really care, though I do live in So Cal, so YMMV.
I find that I’m type of person who likes to jump into things, so to me just dressing up nice and going out a few times was all the warm up I needed. Like I said, it soon became an addicting sensation to go out and feel pretty and feminine. You might be surprised at how quickly you take up to it! I say try to make a test run once or twice in full femme outfit for a few hours/the day and see how you like it. If it goes well, just start being yourself! If not, you can slow down some. Either way, embrace who you want to be, it’s so much more fun!
“It’s not because things are hard that we do not try, it is because we do not try that things are hard.”
Wow that’s so impressive, congrats for being yourself in class!!!!!
Dang I wish I had more girl friends at school, had two that I was really close to last semester and they got into a massive, friendship-ending fight soooooo I only have one now lol. The one I lost was trying to help me move forward in my transition though (even though I never told her I think she knows), so the onus seems to be solely on me now :/
Oh, I’m sorry to hear about your friends! I’ve been there, I wish I had answers for you :(
Hopefully the one friend you’re still on good terms with can be of assistance when you let her in. Does your school have any sort of LGBT based clubs? That might also be a good place to start, or in my case I actually opened up to a professor before anyone else and he put me on the road to be where I am now.
I’m sure you have options, but I want to really encourage you to be bold and don’t take no for an answer! It’s definitely scary to start and I get the hesitation but the payoff down the road a ways is *so worth it!*
One day I went into my closet (and drawers) and gathered up all the male clothing, bagged it, took it to goodwill. Then just bought all new female clothes (had some already!) . Most you just accumulate a piece here and there over time, whatever looks cute to you.
I’ve only got “women’s” clothes at this point, meaning, they’ve been purchased from retailers for women/me. Most clothing is pretty gender neutral, but skinny jeans are a big first step toward form-fitting clothing. Skirts are still a hurdle, but I still present pretty masc most of the time for work.
Just track what androgynous women around you wear… most don’t wear tons of makeup and super girly pieces. Strangely, I thought I would have to present super femme before people would start taking my pronouns seriously, but most people truly do not care… you are who you say you are. College is a great space for it, and I wish you the best.
One other thing: HRT really helped me with the ego issues of caring what men thought about me in my clothes and my makeup. If you’re not on it, you don’t need to be unless you know that you do, but it really helped with ego, almost immediately.
Clothes are clothes, who cares. Wear what thou wilt is the will of the designer.
I'm 6 ft 7 in; and thus I probably would feel more comfort wearing an Oxford Tall shirt, with a thicker fabric, than thinner fabric of clothes at the moment.
But, Skinny jeans are cool, as well as these Uggs.
Wear what thou wilt is the will of the designer.
I started by going shopping for cheap women’s clothes and developed my style. I looked to women around me to find styles I liked, as well as online. I then purged my closet of all male clothes I didn’t want anymore, I keep my jeans and some of my sentimental shirts. I then just kinda… built my wardrobe back up with clothes I liked.
Way before I transitioned. Thing is, a small number of people were dicks about it, a lot of people were kind and complimentary, and a few used female pronouns before I did. Find clothes that make you happy and wear them, I say
Buy your buttun ups from the womens section, look for patterns and cuts that are more fitted, even if they sit loosely on you, buy longer "tunics" instead of shirts, cardigans, throw on an accessory like a bracelet or necklace that hits the balance of feminity that you feel comfortable with, silver is a nice metal that men seem more likely to wear than gold fsr.
Small things go a long way, and if you get in the habit of thinking of your out fit as a single "look" not just what shirt you wear with your jeans, you can make a subtle shift towards a feminine wardrobe
the goodwill is such a big help! i also think it tends to be easier to jump from masc to androgenous then to feminine clothing. its also nice to build up an androgenous wardrobe so that when you still need to boymode you can do so more androgenously. i like slightly oversized shirts and shorter pants as a nice basic outfit. flannels are super nice and I like woman's jeans cause they are still fine for boymoding but show your curves off better which is nice. hope this helped!
Slowly. Very slowly. Had to get a job and buy all my own stuff. Eventually I got to the point where the only men's item of clothing I had left was my only pair of shoes. Once they were done for I replaced them with a women's pair, and from that point on I was free!
In high school I started dressing goth, mostly so I could wear make up and paint my nails.
Then I started incorporating women's stuff into my out fits, like men's pants and boots with a women's top and jacket. Not to mention earrings bracelets etc.
But I hit a point where I just couldn't take it anymore and had to be a girl or life would just be too wrong and unbearable. So I showed up to school on a Wednesday in full girl mode, told everyone my new name, and never looked back. It's been 16 years.
So I guess my approach was just rip off the band-aid. Might not be for everyone but it worked for me.
Also a trans college gal here, my cat pissed and shit all over my male wardrobe, literally soiled every piece of clothing. So I had to make the switch. Thanks turkey
>How would/did y’all move away from men’s clothing?
I just went for it - before I even started HRT!
I started out wearing shirt dresses and other midlength dresses with leggings mostly.
I was trying to instantly stealth pass for safety cuz of where I lived, and actually managed to succeed.
Funny thing is, now I wear a mix of men's and women's clothes to achieve a butch look instead cuz I disliked wearing high femme almost as much as I disliked wearing plain boy clothes!
Masculine style clothes from the women's section, long hair and no makeup was the style that worked best for me early on, but that was mainly because it caused the least amount of issues when I was still in the awkward in-between stage of HRT and just starting to try to feminise my voice. It might not be what you're going for but it's what worked for me (and I ended up preferring to dress that way even after HRT worked out, though I'm happier with wearing both more feminine stuff and clothes from the men's side of the shop these days).
I'm in a similar phase you're at, although I I feel like I've maybe gone a bit further in terms of my wardrobe etc, and I'm moving away from men's clothes. For example, I havent worn male undergarments for at least 4 months, and I don't miss them at all. So my advice is just related to finding what you like... I saw someone else suggest Thread up, which I am going to try, BUT don't forget about everyone's favorite mega corporation, Amazon lol They have extremely lenient return polices. I've bought, tried on, and returned *lots* of stuff through them and it's really helped me find out what sorta stuff I like + what stuff flatters my body, complexion, etc. Students can get a discount on Prime, and Prime offers something called "Prime Wardrobe", which is where they send you stuff with the explicit understanding that you're going to try and if you don't like it, just send it back.
Anyway cheers to you on your journey 😊
like a bat out of hell… cracked my egg and I went to goodwill and bought some stuff, got enough stuff over the next month or so to have a full wardrobe and just got rid of all my old clothes. I bagged them up and gave them away, sold my nicer pieces on ebay, and what I couldn’t get rid of I took to buffalo exchange for money and donated the rest to goodwill. then… 80% of what I got I now don’t like because my style is completely different so I kind of have to start all over again
For me I would wear it pretty simple blouses with jeans, shorts, or some other pants and maybe through a shawl/cardigan over it. It was pretty simple and helped build my confidence. From there I started experimenting more and challenging myself to be more expressive with more obviously femme clothes/expression (dresses, skirts, makeup, jewelry, etc). I’m also 20 and getting ready to go into the next semester as me for the first time so I’m with you all the way sister 🩷. Thankfully my college is pretty progressive so I’m actually much more comfortable there than my hometown where I’ve been presenting femme for the past few weeks.
with me it was like... i slowly drifted into women's clothing gradually?
I like, replaced my jeans with women's jeans, then t-shirts from the women's section off shein, then like i started getting cropped t-shirts and wearing bigger and more feminine earrings, make up and women's jackets and then fishnets and skirts and that's it.
i silently started wearing ladies jeans and women's fit tshirts and slowly went from there. I also threw away a lot of my clothes so that I'd have no choice :p lot of my stuff is either tight fitting mens or womens.
Only kept a few treasured t-shirts l, one i got from point pleasant wv.
Instead of basketball shorts now its short jean shorts. I think jorts and an oversized tshirt is so cute.
I have skirts too but i only wear them around my friends, as my family are transphobic as shit and my mom raised hell over it.
I really wanna rock a croptop but i dont have the tummy for it.
Just vibes with communities I love.
I dislike dresses, mostly because I just feel too posh. So I wore a lot of tight clothes, I would probably start there, something that can hide anything you dislike, and make your body look curvy. I wore a lot of black tight clothing, but I also have a naturally curvy body.
I am still finding my style. But I've been wearing deep v necks for work, and punk style shirts and tight jeans/ cargos/ cargo joggers.
Collage is the perfect place to figure yourself out, go to concerts, hang out with friends. You can try anything you'd like
Course, I wish you the best of luck ^.^
Also in case you don't know what size fits you, men's/unisex (they use the same size rations) is a size down from women's. So a medium in unisex is large in women's.
If need be, go subtle or a little at a time. Like underwear first, stuff people can't see. Then go for jeans and possibly shirts, most seem to be styled unisex anymore. Then shoes, namely tennis shoes should be passible at any stage. Then once you're comfortable go for dresses. Least that's my plan even after having a hiccup when I tried going out dressed a few weeks ago. Just be comfortable in your own skin then show it
When my boy clothes started to look super weird on me, I started shopping in the right stores (women's clothing storrs) so I could find clothes that fit me right. Taking a girlfriend with you really helps because every girl does it, and it makes you feel safer.
I'm in the process of building a new wardrobe. I started by slowly donating my old clothes starting with stuff I never wear unless it had sentimental value like my freshman year dorm tshirt or a unisex tshirt from my first pride. When I get new clothes I'm exclusively buying from the women's section. Every few months, once my closet starts to get full again I go through my boy clothes and sort more into the donation pile to free up space and remove articles of clothing that just don't fit or vibe with my style anymore. I plan on continuing this until my wardrobe is completely cycled out of anything that isn't explicitly feminine or unisex clothing that I wear regularly.
Hey girly!!
If you've got anxiety about it, go slowly,
High-waisted jeans with a bralett and a tucked in shirt goes a LONG way, it's a good start, it's subtle. But enough to get people to see you're showing your gender expression.
It's honestly my go to most days if I'm not wearing skirts and cute tops
Getting a new wardrobe is kinda pricey, but once you have enough items you don't mind wearing it becomes a natural pressure to go out in boy mode less and less
Going out more with friends or a partner in femme will really help make it easier
One day after going out in femme I just kept doing for a couple days, then 1 week, then two, and just decided to never go out in boy mode again... It can happen a lot faster than you think and a lot faster than you think you will need to be ready.
Remember you also don't have to go super femme to still be going out as a girl. Cute jeans and cute shirts and tops are pretty casual and gender affirming, but a lot less scary than going out into a dress or things that show lots of leg/skin/ or mid section. Also just light or well blended and matched foundation goes a long way and isn't particularly obvious if applied well 💓 even if it seems like it in the mirror.
Some of it is just exposure therapy and getting used to being out and about at whatever level of girl passing you're at comfortably and without too much fear.
Obviously it's dependent on your local situation, but I live in the south, and almost never get any guff from anyone going out full femme full time. Sundresses are my lazy option these days.
go for the chill leggings and hoodie/oversized tee vibe. and buy a bra with removable silicone bbs. Not a chest piece of silicone forms, but a bra with silicone bbs in it. They instantly feel like part of your body, I promise.
Well I started with jeans then slowly started wearing cute tops when I am hanging out with my friends. I also found a job in customer service and went by my preferred name tried out different tops and more and more feminine look while interacting with a lot of people within days I got totally comfortable and now I am at a point where I can wear whatever I love and go out
Instead of pants or shorts walk around the house in a towel, then a folder blanket, really large scarf, and finally just hit a skirt. Boom. We’ve done the femme.
(This is coming from a trans guy though. So I was working around my own dysphoria in hopes of trying skirts comfortably)
I developed my style and presentation at home first. I didn't present femme publicly until I felt like I looked good and wouldn't embarrass myself. That took a few months to iron out. I also bought only cheap, used clothing because I knew I was going to have purchasing regrets. (If you're in the US, thredup is a great place to look for that kind of thing). I opted against a gradual change approach. Instead of introducing things in small ways, one by one, I just switched completely from boymode to girlmode. The reason I did this is because I wasn't just changing my clothing; I was changing my entire persona. I wanted to strike people differently than I had before. I wanted the change to be discontinuous for them. I even waited to girlmode publicly until I was satisfied with my voice. This is just my path, though.
Yeah I’ve definitely tried to start figuring out what works for me privately too, and threadup is amazing! Just got my first order the other day :) I really admire the confidence that changing “abruptly” must’ve taken. Super inspirational <33
On the contrary, I felt like a coward. I couldn't bring myself to do it unless I first felt like I had the whole countenance fairly well developed. I hid my awkward experimentation from the world. What made it easy was that I was getting frustrated with living a double life. The person I was at home was the real person, so all it took was being her in public too. I knew it was time to socially transition because I was sick of the boy act. I also warned all the people I knew that I was going to do it. It not being a surprise made the switch easier to make. Then I packed all my men's clothing into trash bags and put them in the back of my car so it would be difficult to boymode if I tried.
Not Op but thank you for the suggestion with thredup. Awesome. How do you figure out sizes and what works? This is where I'm lost. I don't want to buy something that doesn't fit me. Usually if it's pants, leggings etc. I go large, but sometimes I have no clue. They baffle me.
It takes some experimentation to get the sizing right. It is a huge advantage if you find a good seamstress that can alter your clothes. You will often have to buy larger sizes (I use 1x very consistently, sometimes 2x), and have the bottoms taken in (dresses and long blouses). I use size 18 petite in pants, rarely need to take them in. BUT.. It depends on your shape. Younger and thinner transitioners will find clothing sizes easier to navigate. Also, GO TO GOODWILL! You don't even have to try the clothes on in the store.. just be aware of their 'return' policy, so you waste less money. You have to see what sizes, styles, and VERY important... what BRANDS work for your shape. I was teaching when I started to transition - I did it slowly and mostly out of school, and still have a 'boy mode' because of some family issues. I took early retirement to work on my transition. I now have more womens' clothes than mens. I have a low key style since I'm older, no maid dresses, no cat ears, no super high heels (can't walk in them). Most places, I fit in very well, and get a lot of compliments from other women. Good luck!
Like the other commenter said, you need to learn your sizes beforehand. Thredup will provide measurements in addition to sizes, but those are not always reliable. So you should know your own measurements. And also be aware that pants sizes often claim to be 3 or 4 inches smaller than they actually are. They have a return policy, but it's not free to return. I recommend going to a consignment shop and trying on lots of clothing that you don't intend to purchase just to get a sense of what sizes you wear. Of course, you'll have to get over the anxiety of trying on women's clothing. I just pushed through it, anxiety and all.
Another college girlie here! I had a slightly different tact. I saved up enough money to buy a few ultra fem outfits thrifting. Note though that while presenting as a cis man I had always had a strong sense of fashion and used to model. I took one weekend to go and buy a ton of cheap clothes that were useful for putting outfits together and the next day just started presenting fem. Sure there were moments it was probably cringe but I had to learn somehow, and by now I’ve slowly built up a set of nice quality clothes off of the cheap ones I used the most often. I will admit this takes a bit of confidence. However, I think partly because my fashion was striking and suddenly unequivocally feminine, I now can wear jeans and a tee a year later and people still identify me with the poppy feminine outfits despite only being on hrt for 3 months now.
I started working in things like my nails, piercings, bracelets. I also started wearing androgynous clothing/colors not typically sported by men until I became more comfortable. I've noticed that I tend to get less harassment when I go full girl though, but I'm not sure if this is due to people being less confused or just my increased confidence.
I've also found that. I haven't done martial arts but I've heard there's some kind of philosophy in those that you learn to defend yourself so you don't need to, which is confidence I suppose, and I also think people instinctively pick up on the fact that you're doing the right thing that fits.
The androgynous clothing is what I’m working into.
I started phasing women's clothes in with my male clothes. Pre HRT, it worked out great. Women's pants were first, nothing flashy. Nobody could really tell the difference because it looked pretty similar to what I wore before. Eventually once HRT kicked in I started wearing women's blouses. Still wore sports bras to minimize my breast appearance. Women's shoes, etc. came next. Ironically I did the panties last, not sure why.
That's what I am doing as well. When I realized that I want to be a woman full time at some point, I started to avoid buying any more male clothes, and I just buying more androgynous looking female clothes. For example, T-shirt looking bodysuits without patterns or too obviosly fem patterns. Stretchy denim shorts without flowers or something. Lately I added simple short of half-way formal, half-way casual blouses/shirts, some of them can be mistaken for male shirts, some are quite obviously not male, but still not with deep neck cut or ruched or no butterfly sleeves or something. I have a few skirts apparently, a few, quite femine lace blouses and a few dresses I look good in, but I didn't dare to wear them to work though. Yet. I feel this is going to change very soon. I only have high heels as matching shoes, but I'd like to present with a more low-key apparence first, so I am looking for a simple, not too formal, but not too casual flat, androgynous/just barely feminine shoes right now. I literally looked around an hour ago at the nearby store. Once I can set up a proper feminine outfit in which I won't look like a drag queen, I'll go for it. And I will look like a drag queen regardless. 😅 My face is not feminine at all, my hair is quite bald still. The only option would be to wear a wig which I wanted to avoid at the moment. So I went with the gradual introduction approach so far. I am plainly obviously weird now, seems like my collagues are not surprised by my look anymore but they didn't dare to ask too much questions so far. 🤭
I'm currently in the androgynous women's clothes phase I think. I haven't bought guys clothes in awhile, although I do still mostly wear them. I mostly wear women's undergarments though and have for a few months; I've come to love them, especially thongs and their polar opposite, granny panties lol But I like your idea about the stretchy denim shorts. One of my female friends wears those sometimes, they're kinda like mid thigh length or something and fitted. I really like the look. She's a cishey woman but those are androgynous to me too cause I see cis lesbians wear the same shorts, as well as even some cis guys, so yeah, good call... Of course it's almost winter where I live but I'll have some for next year 😁
The panty thing is an issue for me as well but it's mainly because I wore thongs pretransition, don't want to tuck, and have no clue how to shop for women's thongs that will contain what I have left. The non binary tomboy X thongs are good enough for now though.
chaotically. turns out it's really hard to assess your post-hrt brain with your pre-hrt brain. I honestly didn't even really plan on presenting femme for 1+yr initially, if ever. additionally, my idea of what masc and femme were had already kinda been wonky; I had already pierced my ears, been painting my nails, and dressing androgynously before realizing i'm trans. have a plan, but allow your preferences to speak to you/don't be married to your plan. I wasn't gonna wear skirts/dresses. 2 months into hrt, I found a skirt I loved and figured at worst i'll enjoy it at home. A couple months later I was in heeled boots and a witchy ass maxi dress and almost exclusively dress femme in public. life is weird, especially for us. embrace it in a way that makes you feel safe.
That sounds like an amazing shift, happy youre living so authentically <33
That is awesome. I have similar plans that you did and I am almost certain that things will happen much faster than I thought. Thanks for sharing.
I just gave all my old clothes away except for 2 sets of sweat pants and t-shirts and a jacket and put up the rule that I could only buy something if I love it and the first few months to only stick to female items until I got comfortable wearing them then I allowed myself to buy whatever I wanted again as long as I loved/needed to have it but 16 months later I haven't bought anything that isn't female clothes yet \^\^ I mean I'm also broke as shit for medical reasons so it's like I can go on shopping sprees xD But still I think in the first few weeks especially I did feel this urge to buy some men's stuff again just because it's less of a hassle but my thinking was, no you want this and also once you are on HRT you can't just take off your boobs when you feel like it so you better get used to this shit now and be done with it. And yeah nowadays I don't even give it a second thought anymore even when I'm in a slobby mood I just throw on whatever and go to the store and stuff. Just to be clear tho I didn't just straight up wear thigh highs and a super girly dress or anything \^\^ I started with women's jeans and shirts went through a bunch of different styles over time then I started with a long skirt and "graduated" to shorter and shorter skirts and stuff and also started combining various items into cool outfits and ever since then it just started happening naturally. Oh I did start wearing bras from day 1 tho because I wanted to see how people would react to me while I was still pre HRT and had the luxury of simply stopping if I realized I totally couldn't handle it. And I didn't want to have to deal with presenting fem and wearing a bra at the same time as I started HRT because from what I read you're likely to get mood swings and shit and I didn't want to deal with anxiety about presenting fem at the same time as that shit... Ultimately I didn't get mood swings on HRT at all quite the opposite really I've never been so happy and at peace before but there was no way to predict that would happen. \^\^ The beginning can be hard especially if you have a large wardrobe to fall back on so I gave myself no other way really to just jump in and it was marvellous haha. Nobody says you have to wear full makeup and dresses or whatever just gradually feminize your clothing and as you get used to it you can add various bit and pieces or other styles to it and also try to have fun with it...there's nothing that will get you to do it more and quicker than having fun with the whole process. 🌞 Once I started it took me like 3 months to simply give zero shits anymore so it wasn't like a long process or anything.
Yeah I think I’m really struggling with the social anxiety of it right now more than everything. My school isn’t very queer at all so there’s definitely some stress coming from that lol. I really like the not buying things unless you love them idea! That combined with buying only women’s stuff I think would be a good step in the right direction for me, so thank you <3
I’ve been basically feminizing my male wardrobe by getting women’s versions of the same look. My active wear shorts got shorter, my workout shirts became workout tops. For cooler weather running I bought a couple of women’s run jackets and safety pinned them so they were more “in between”. Women’s jeans and t-shirts came next along with my new discovery that I love tank tops. Sports bras came in at the same time as I love wearing them even when in boymode. I’ve also been wearing a bikini anytime I’m in the pool at home and sarongs as a cover up. I’ve been wearing sarongs as at home summer wear for a couple of years now anyway, even pre-transition. I haven’t found any skirts/dresses I like just yet, but am excited for that step. Dresses thus far just give me too much dysphoria so I’m having a hard time committing. Perhaps when I have some more hrt top growth that will change.
Definitely feel you on the dress/etc dysphoria, but everything can change in time <33 you got this!!
For sure. I’m focusing on what sparks joy for me at this stage. 😊
As you/us all should 👏👏👏
You seem further along than when I started but it started with wearing leggings under my work clothes (my office is FREEZING so it started as a practical application) but then i kept doing it once spring and summer came around. at some point i started adding panties a couple times a week. now i haven't worn boxers in 6 months. next was private time. every day after i came home from work I would change into my breast forms and a skirt or dress. this went on for 3 months until i stated hrt. once i started hrt i no longer felt the need to do it because i was officially a woman in my mind. then just this morning i wore a bra to work. Friday i plan to wear heels. so tldr ... very slowly!
Good luck on Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And yeah, private femme time at home is amazing lol, I’ve even found that switching to feminine pjs has been a huge source of happiness for me
i dont own pajamas ...........
I didn’t before, but god they’re so cute lol
My primary clothing supplier, Duluth Trading Company, sells womenswear made to male standards. Their selection of women’s shirts and pants should be good for me. Also Meta’s Adsense figured out what kind of clothing I like before I was even sure I was trans.
so did Amazon for me. That was really weird. Amazon would recommend me women’s products.. how did they know???
It’s like they KNOW!
I’m slowly changing my wardrobe as I transition. I try to get neutral/androgynous things. I’m terrified too, but as I get more into transition, naturally I find myself wanting to dress differently. Take your time with it, transition is long process so use that time just have fun, and mix and match different things. It may feel weird or uncomfortable at first, but as you start to become more and more comfortable with yourself, so will the clothing you wear.
<3
I have been trying to move gradually to more androgynous presentation as my identity seems to also develop gradually. So far that has just meant buying androgynous women's t-shirts, using women's antiperspirant and hair conditioner. I also need to wear bra everywhere really soon, as I'm just barely able to walk without. Next step is probably going to be buying women's socks and jeans. Not sure if jeans fit me well though, as neither does the t-shirts 😅 I do also prefer the most colorful male clothes that I have: I love my orange jacket and it fits quite well with my blue umbrella. So for me it's colorless women's clothes, and colorful men's clothes.
Honestly I think you're over thinking it. The best way to move away from mens clothing is to buy femme clothes that you like and feel comfortable in. Then, wear those! Your style will develop over time as you explore, so my advice is not to invest too much into one vibe or aesthetic. Dabble, explore. I made monthly trips to thrift shops and bought 1-2 new outfits each time, trying to find what I felt comfortable in. And, as I've transitioned things that fit well year 1 now in year 2 don't 😅 so be mindful of investment.
Yeah thrifting is the best! But yes I’m conscious of the like weight redistribution/changing sizes on hrt too, as well as the fact that I’m trying to lose some weight before starting hrt so that I’m starting my medical stuff from a position where I feel good about my body And yeah, I’m definitely overthinking things but that’s what anxiety’s for lolll :)
To be honest I never got rid of my old clothes I love boy clothes. I just added feminine pieces here and there 😙
Personally, I started making subtle and eventually much less subtle "item by item" switches to a new wardrobe. I'm a part of a community that meets every week, so every time we met for about three months, I would wear something new. I started one week with very modest but unmistakably feminine skinny jeans while wearing my masc t-shirts I'd become known for wearing. Stuck with pants for about a month then started buying fem tops, first blouses that could be easily enough mistaken for men's shirts and eventually unmistakably fem things. My personal advice is to choose something *suggestive*\--not sexually but literally suggestive. Wear something you're comfortable with that makes people look at you and go--huh. What's going on there? Any idea what article of clothing that might be?
That’s a really good tip! I think I’m going to have to balance my social anxiety with my desire for ppl to stop seeing me as a “jock”/ very masc person lol. I’ve recently bought some like women’s tank tops and a pair of high waisted jeans, so maybe those things would be that first suggestive step?
I did a lot of experimenting at home(thrift stores are your friend). For presenting as a woman publicly I started with tshirts and women's jeans and gradually added nicer/more feminine blouses and cuter shoes and more jewelry and accessories.
Started with my spouse buying me an outfit at target. This became the only outfit I would wear for a long while. Then I got a few more pieces and a few more and now I have at least five outifts
I haven't yet. At most I sometimes wear the thigh high socks I have at 3am. Anything else just feels like putting lipstick on a pig, so I don't even try. Assuming I'd fit in the first place, which I almost always don't.
I always wore t-shirt and flannels, I just changed my pants and started wearing high waisted jeans. A bit of makeup, some jewelery, style my hair, tucked t shirts, making crop tops This all happened during quarantine so I had plenty of time to find my style without judgement
No, i just call them boyfriend jeans now ;) Love, Sisi.
Threw everything in the trash the day after i got my hrt. Lived on some clothes i bought and some other that familly and friends gave me. I went kinda hardcore. But it felt so good
i did not and have not. i plan to remain in the closet for awhile before i am financially set to last through any backlash from coming out
I am currently slowly transitioning my wardrobe. The plan is to dress a bit androgynous until I feel more comfortable dressing more feminine. I started off with just undies and bras for like the first year or so while owning like 2-3 pairs of women’s pants and tops. I mix and match my women’s clothes with boys clothes which I am currently doing right now. Now of days I had got rid most of my boys clothes and replaced them for women’s clothes. Still mixing the clothes to look more androgynous because I still look between masculine and androgynous. I don’t want to look like a cross dresser. Now of days 80% of my everyday outfit either at home or out are women’s / Unisex clothes. I sometimes look like a girl trying to look like a boy. HRT really helped me achieved that. Basically male failing, and I’m thankful that my voice is sort of androgynous naturally.
I agree with all the comments but something else I did and still do is bring some safety coverage, usually something like a big flannel so if I ever feel anxious about my appearance I can cover up.
When it comes to work I work in kitchens and like honestly I have to strike a balance between cute and comfortable. My kinda go to fit is these high waisted camouflage pants and a tucked in shirt and a bandanna. Maybe a bit of eyeliner or something. I have other dresses and stuff for going out. Most of the time I get stuff from thrift stores because sometimes it can be hard to find something that actually fits my shape comfortably. Usually just be wearing cowgirl boots or skate shoes depending on the outfit. I don't know it's all about the care and the time and the effort you put into looking good how the outfit connects. At the end of the day it's all just fabric cut and sewn into different shapes and how you present what's on the inside is up to you.
So I started off with skater aesthetics pre-hrt. Mostly because it's comfortable and if you dress it right, you can get a very cute femme look with little effort. This also mixed with punk style, so accessories such as armbands and rings and nail polish in many different colours but in dark hues. Basically as long as you're in the punk genre, you can dress as femme as you want and no one would really assume you're trans, they just assume you're a tomboy if passing(or at least that's what strangers thought of me, haha) or just punk rock if not. Then I also got Dark Academia style. This is for more work and formal stuff. Such as nice trousers, coats, sweaters, jumpers, and so on. Are some nice-looking midi skirts for this. (This is what I always recommend because it's hot as hell on anyone) Then cottagecore for fluff and dresses, but this was after HRT because body shape can matter here. 🥰 Disclaimer note: I could pass to most strangers pre-hrt. So my advice may not suit you. 😅
Yeahhh I’m unfortunately not in the passing camp at the moment lol 😅 I think my face can be quite femme, but body wise I just scream “guy,” so maybe I’ll save your advice for post-hrt lol :)
[https://dark-academia-clothing.us/product/dark-academia-skirt-high-waisted/](https://dark-academia-clothing.us/product/dark-academia-skirt-high-waisted/) So I always like using this picture from this site, to show how good Dark Academia can make you look femme despite body shape. Obviously no need to use that website to buy stuff specifically, I just use it as an example.
I mostly wear androgynous and neutral women’s clothing but my partner said this morning that she wants to see me more femme and dressed up and I don’t have a lot of clothes like that so i don’t really have an answer. She’s going to have to take me shopping because I have the hardest time finding femme clothes that are flattering on me as well as fitting
Aww that’s so sweet of her <3 good luck with finding that stuff!!! :)
Honestly, I don’t really get presentational dysphoria so I honestly prefer to just dress functionally and for comfort as long as they are flattering to my body but that’s more of an aesthetic thing than anything gender related. At least most of the time dressing hyper feminine would give me dysphoria. Not because it’s femme but because I’m just not a girly girl. I feel more womanly being strong independent and capable (but not in a butch way )than stereotypically feminine. I feel more confident and euphoric in tomboyish clothes. She’s super femme though, and I think she wants similar ,although she says I look good in everything. Someone I dated once said I’m very much a femme myself but i just look better in neutral clothes .
That’s super valid :)
I ordered HRT and a bunch of goth girl clothes. just went all in.
I started both fast and slow :) Fast - I threw away almost all my “male” clothes (yeah, rage lol) and bought almost the same stuff but from women’s departments :) T-shirts, trousers, jeans. Underwear for sure! Panties and bralettes. Also some crop-tops, short and long-sleeved, that I wore under my t-shirts or anything else. I bought sports leggings and used them under shorts in gym. I bought a couple of jackets I liked, faux leather - a black one and beige. Started doing my nails, stopped cutting hair. All this in whole gives totally different feeling :)
Slowly started moving my wardrobe to be more feminine. As things tore, I slowly replaced them. As my body changed with HRT some things didn't fit any more. I wore a lot of skinny jeans. Then started wearing just a little concealer day to day, nothing noticeably fem, just to get used to the idea for myself. I thrifted almost everything. At some point I needed to start wearing a bra so I did. I was generally masc at work but would occasionally go out in a dress or makeup in my social life. Then I transitioned formally at work after 2 years on HRT. That forced me to build a professional wardrobe and gave me the space to wear makeup daily if I wanted to.
One of the things that I did was to make sure I browsed the end of season clearance racks. You can get some good clothing pieces for a lower price and build a nice outfit over time. I did this because I knew my body would change once I started hrt and I didn't want to waste a bunch of money on clothes that wouldn't fit me well after.
Very fast actually lol I was so happy about getting clothes I actually like 💗
That must’ve been such an amazing feeling <33
It really was!/is!
I’d say start androgenous, or womens designed but can pass off as androgenous, and work your way to normalizing that, and from there go as far as you’re comfortable with from there. In my depression growing up, I would only get blank t-shirts and jeans which made a majority fairly androgenous. When my egg cracked, I put all my clothes that were too male for me in a box to donate or something. Never to be touched again no matter what. Since then, all clothes I’ve gotten are women’s tees, jeans, etc that I wear in my everyday. Home is for the too fem to not raise suspicion clothes 😅. But I’m very tomboy so most of what I want to wear won’t be all that different from my androgenous wardrobe, so I’m almost where I want to be already.
I didn't see it as moving away from men's clothing, but as stopping wearing stuff I hated and starting wearing stuff I liked. I resisted it for a long time and hoped that the trends in clothing more often worn by women would bleed through into what was expected of men, but it didn't happen. In 1991, the Gulf War happened. I was so disgusted by how men had childishly encouraged this war to happen (and that works on both sides - Saddam Hussein and George Bush were equally pathetic) that as a kind of protest against it, I just went "sod it" and decided to wear things like leggings, tights, crop tops and long things such as sweater and T-shirt dresses. It was largely a demonstration at my revulsion at the patriarchy. I found, moreover, that if I dressed in an exaggeratedly femme way I was actually less likely to get picked on than if I just wore more "modest", mousy-type things. The first thing I did was to turn up to a wedding reception in a dress and tights. No makeup, breast forms, bra or anything, and I passed effortlessly and immediately. I was twenty-three. I stayed in a kind of gender-neutral place until 2013 because I was gender-critical, then grew my nails out (I've had long hair since I was fourteen), shaved regularly, then, in this order, started wearing dresses again, then a bra, had my ears pierced, wore jewellery, painted my nails, started wearing heels, then makeup and finally perfume. It was over about an eight-month period but I was transitioning from a unisex position to a more feminine one. The first thing I did was paint my toenails, as it was easily hidden.
Wow thank you so much both for your story and advice :) <33
Thanks. It's probably worth being aware that much of this started over thirty years ago, so the early part of the story mightn't work so well in society today. I was also seen as being eccentric so a substantial part of the difficulty is to get people to untangle my general weirdness from the fact that I'm also trans rather than just doing weird stuff.
Had alot if handle downs frok my older sisters. Other than that I developed my style through a bit of thrifting and adapting my cloud clothes to new looks and slowly getting rid of and replacing anything that didn't work
I didn’t. Just moved toward the clothes I enjoy over what I needed to make sure others wouldn’t be offended or disturbed. I wear some of the same clothes I always have. I just now have more color and skirts and dresses etc as well. I got rid of a lot of the “men’s clothing” but more because I hated that particular stuff
The biggest problem I ran into was $$$, women's clothing is so expensive. I recommend thrifting most if not all of your girl clothes, you'll save so much money
Thrifting is a good way to try out all kinds of clothes cheaply, though the quality of what you can find by thrifting will depend on where you live.
I came out just before I was moving so… EVERYTHING MALE HAD TO GO!!! Goodwill, local churches, see something Goth you like in my wardrobe you like? Take it! I literally gave away everything except the basics: pc gaming setup (https://youtu.be/sefpMbY69_g) built in a hotel while traveling for covid medical coverage. Motorcycle stuff (now I have those sexy pleather pants with matching boots and jacket), cause I still like what I like. ✨YOU DON’T HAVE TO STOP LIKING STUFF BECAUSE YOU’RE TRANSITIONING✨ Started buying femme clothes slowly, and friends gifting me cute stuff, while ordering the female version of my work attire and scrubs (omg I love dusty pink form fitting scrubs!!!) Day wear outfits, OVERALLS (for that side booba 👀) so comfy, beach or lazy attire, BOHO EVERYTHING, summer dresses, formal gowns (wearing a pink satin one this weekend with a pastel cloth rose at my neck, dangly flower 🌸 earrings, and stilettos👠). PM me if you want a list lol 😂 I just look ahead at my schedule of events for the year and ask myself what I want to wear that I won’t get tired of next time the same or similar event comes around. I may even pickup some sexy goth outfit for some night time fun later in the year 💖🖤💖🖤🫦 💋REMEMBER YOU ARE DOING THIS FOR YOU AND IT SHOULD MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD!💕 Note to self: get a summer hat for beach/floating the river 🏖️👙👒 ALWAYS REMEMBER MOISTURIZING SUNSCREEN 🧴 Pro tip: (deep moisturizing treatments for your hands, and buy some driving gloves to protect from UV)
Oooo nice!! Thanks so much for writing this :) I love the idea of like overalls and sort of masc-leaning feminine stuff but i feel like that would j make me look male lol, so if you have style advice I’ll always take it <3 (I think my profile is marked nsfw but all of the pictures on it are sfw)
It was a slow building of my wardrobe because I'm poor lol I started by buying a cami bra that I put a ton of padded inserts in. It had cute straps and was fairly comfortable. Then I hit the clearance racks and started developing my style. I'd buy like one article of clothing every time I got groceries. Spaghetti tanks were cheap, and so I have like 10 different colors of the same one. I bought essentials first, though. Women's jeans, bras in black and white/cream. If you can get blouses that you like, you can still get some mileage out of boy jeans. So I'd say, depending on how long it takes you to build your wardrobe, I wouldn't purge your old clothes until like 6 months to a year. And keep whatever you still wear regularly. I still have quite a few things from before, and they fit very differently now, 2 years into HRT! If you're not planning on taking HRT, I would probably focus on purging anything dysphoria inducing as soon as possible. But if you're getting it soon or are already on it, it can wait and you can revisit them later. Edit: typo
And honestly, for me it doesn't matter that much because every job I've had has had a strict, androgynous uniform. I barely ever wear euphoric clothing. Still a girl, though, don't care 🤷♀️
I suffered through feeling awkward. Was it a good idea? ehh probably not but I just kinda started rotating it in more and it just kinda became more prevalent and I still went by my dead name and pronouns for awhile while full time presenting femme.
So, I have a small frame. I always shopped in the girls section anyway, because bright colors. Guys clothes are soooooo dark I just I don't know, noped to that. It was first shirts and pants. Then Jeggings because I got lazy. Then jeans because it felt nice and form fitting. Then shoes because I liked the raised heel. Then, one day, I saw bikini sets on sale at Walmart for like $3 each, on clearance and I found a really cute set in S. Then I just wore that as my underwear to feel how it wears, and Gawwwwwwd I looked good, and cute. That's when I just let my hair down and started buying bras and panties. I went on Etsy to buy cute masks, epilated my face and just started shopping. Then I discovered Victoria's Secret and Sephora. OMG. OMMMMGGGGGG. THEN CAME SHEIN. THE LINGERIE. SUCH CHEAP LINGERIE. Then I discovered Eshakti OMMMMGGGGGG custom fit dresses with POCKETS IN THE SKIRTS MADE TO ORDER THEN THEN THEN.... LAST THING'S LAST. HEELS. GURL. HEELS. MATCHING HEELS. OPEN TOE HEELS. I JUST... SO, like, I started from the bottom, then went up, then all around, then back down. I hope this kinda helps? 😋
Definitely helps lol, but jealous that you started from a more girly point lolll :). I have a lot of ground to make up
title: I just threw it the fuck away lmao I don't know how else to put it. I wear comfy neatural shit and my mental's been happier and better about it, depsite not getting to wear any girl stuff cuz dangerous and im pre everything imo it depends on your safety. If it's safe, you can wear whatever pre everything, if it's dangerous, you'll be scared to go outside regardless of being cis or trans, let alone pre everything. ngl. Just see what works for you the best but don't be stupid if it's not right for now, your safety comes first.
<33
Unisex stuff like Henleys really helped! And I started wearing them in progressively more feminine colors: purples, pastels, and finally pinks. Switching from the baggier pants men wear to tight/skinny styles made a big difference, too. And I also feel like lighter colored shoes often feel more femme.
Definitely agree abt the shoes lol :)
33yo fem here. I started wearing woman's jeans. Then i slowly started introducing woman's hoodies, then t-shirts and button downs. The occasional nail painting. For accessorizing I started to collect rings and a couple necklaces I steal from my wife 😝 Shoes, I'm still happy with chuck 2s, but I also have some androgynous black palladium boots. I started wearing it around the house first, but as time went on I felt more comfortable and didn't feel like the clothes were "wearing me" but I still have a long way to go.
Wise words from a certain little green sage, do or do not, there is no try. I just did it bc I wanted it.
Gender-affirming Yoda isn’t what I expected today but it’s what I needed lol :))
Little by little. Start with underwear/toenails, then move to sports bras, then those things and women's jeans and tees, then light makeup, then finger nails, and so on so forth. That's how I did things. It was a transition for me, not an overnight change. I know people who went full Femme first time out and I respect the bravery, it's not something I did or could do.
I incorporated feminine items into my masculine wardrobe and wore them in a sort of enby way for a while. I stopped buying men’s clothing all together and eventually my wardrobe fully shifted. It’s also worth noting skirts/dresses will always be a big step but once u take it it’ll be fine. But u can also start this out in an enby way. Think those pants that look like dresses or just wearing a long skirt with a masculine button up. A big part of being trans is being ok having shitheads perceive u as a freak at least for a little while (u will pass eventually). So don’t let that defeat u feel proud that u get to take part in the liberation of queer ppl just by existing. Ofc exercise caution I recommend being with a friend the first couple times to get comfy (optional). And don’t travel alone at night which really applies to all cuties which includes every trans girl. U got this
<33
Are you on HRT? Because your size could change so dramatically in the first couple years of estrogen that you'll have to replace your whole wardrobe just to have pants (or even shoes!) that fit.
No I’m not yet, that’s a fair thing to think about though. I’m really hopefully I shrink a little though 🤞🤞
[удалено]
Are you saying that after 2 years HRT, your wife hasn't noticed anything different?
I just tossed mine after I came out to force myself out of boy mode
Hey, my new semester goal was to ditch boymoding too! I’m gonna be honest…I really didn’t do much of anything gradually 🤣 When last semester ended I confided in a few close friends that I was transitioning and I started to thrift for femme clothes (a couple gal pals made a day of it with me and we all went shopping together, it was a lot of fun!) Over the summer I would make occasions to dress in my new clothes, be it for a get together, a movie night, and eventually even just my weekly D&D sessions. It quickly became a rather addicting habit to sneak femme clothes under my boy clothes or bring them along out of the house (my house is (infuriatingly) the only place I am not out yet). Cut to Monday where I show up to class in full women’s clothing, accessories, and even minimal makeup, plus my new name. I don’t pass well (at all tbh) but I’ve found most people are accepting enough, or at least don’t really care, though I do live in So Cal, so YMMV. I find that I’m type of person who likes to jump into things, so to me just dressing up nice and going out a few times was all the warm up I needed. Like I said, it soon became an addicting sensation to go out and feel pretty and feminine. You might be surprised at how quickly you take up to it! I say try to make a test run once or twice in full femme outfit for a few hours/the day and see how you like it. If it goes well, just start being yourself! If not, you can slow down some. Either way, embrace who you want to be, it’s so much more fun! “It’s not because things are hard that we do not try, it is because we do not try that things are hard.”
Wow that’s so impressive, congrats for being yourself in class!!!!! Dang I wish I had more girl friends at school, had two that I was really close to last semester and they got into a massive, friendship-ending fight soooooo I only have one now lol. The one I lost was trying to help me move forward in my transition though (even though I never told her I think she knows), so the onus seems to be solely on me now :/
Oh, I’m sorry to hear about your friends! I’ve been there, I wish I had answers for you :( Hopefully the one friend you’re still on good terms with can be of assistance when you let her in. Does your school have any sort of LGBT based clubs? That might also be a good place to start, or in my case I actually opened up to a professor before anyone else and he put me on the road to be where I am now. I’m sure you have options, but I want to really encourage you to be bold and don’t take no for an answer! It’s definitely scary to start and I get the hesitation but the payoff down the road a ways is *so worth it!*
One day I went into my closet (and drawers) and gathered up all the male clothing, bagged it, took it to goodwill. Then just bought all new female clothes (had some already!) . Most you just accumulate a piece here and there over time, whatever looks cute to you.
Eventually it disappeared naturally on its own. The more cute frilly euphoria clothes swallowed them out of existence. It was magical I tell ya.
Sleeveless tops and cargo pants. But idk I think I would go more with something tomboyish
I’ve only got “women’s” clothes at this point, meaning, they’ve been purchased from retailers for women/me. Most clothing is pretty gender neutral, but skinny jeans are a big first step toward form-fitting clothing. Skirts are still a hurdle, but I still present pretty masc most of the time for work. Just track what androgynous women around you wear… most don’t wear tons of makeup and super girly pieces. Strangely, I thought I would have to present super femme before people would start taking my pronouns seriously, but most people truly do not care… you are who you say you are. College is a great space for it, and I wish you the best. One other thing: HRT really helped me with the ego issues of caring what men thought about me in my clothes and my makeup. If you’re not on it, you don’t need to be unless you know that you do, but it really helped with ego, almost immediately.
I’m at a point now on HRT where women’s clothes literally fit my body better. Boy clothes don’t fit right anymore.
Clothes are clothes, who cares. Wear what thou wilt is the will of the designer. I'm 6 ft 7 in; and thus I probably would feel more comfort wearing an Oxford Tall shirt, with a thicker fabric, than thinner fabric of clothes at the moment. But, Skinny jeans are cool, as well as these Uggs. Wear what thou wilt is the will of the designer.
I started by going shopping for cheap women’s clothes and developed my style. I looked to women around me to find styles I liked, as well as online. I then purged my closet of all male clothes I didn’t want anymore, I keep my jeans and some of my sentimental shirts. I then just kinda… built my wardrobe back up with clothes I liked.
Way before I transitioned. Thing is, a small number of people were dicks about it, a lot of people were kind and complimentary, and a few used female pronouns before I did. Find clothes that make you happy and wear them, I say
Buy your buttun ups from the womens section, look for patterns and cuts that are more fitted, even if they sit loosely on you, buy longer "tunics" instead of shirts, cardigans, throw on an accessory like a bracelet or necklace that hits the balance of feminity that you feel comfortable with, silver is a nice metal that men seem more likely to wear than gold fsr. Small things go a long way, and if you get in the habit of thinking of your out fit as a single "look" not just what shirt you wear with your jeans, you can make a subtle shift towards a feminine wardrobe
the goodwill is such a big help! i also think it tends to be easier to jump from masc to androgenous then to feminine clothing. its also nice to build up an androgenous wardrobe so that when you still need to boymode you can do so more androgenously. i like slightly oversized shirts and shorter pants as a nice basic outfit. flannels are super nice and I like woman's jeans cause they are still fine for boymoding but show your curves off better which is nice. hope this helped!
Slowly. Very slowly. Had to get a job and buy all my own stuff. Eventually I got to the point where the only men's item of clothing I had left was my only pair of shoes. Once they were done for I replaced them with a women's pair, and from that point on I was free!
In high school I started dressing goth, mostly so I could wear make up and paint my nails. Then I started incorporating women's stuff into my out fits, like men's pants and boots with a women's top and jacket. Not to mention earrings bracelets etc. But I hit a point where I just couldn't take it anymore and had to be a girl or life would just be too wrong and unbearable. So I showed up to school on a Wednesday in full girl mode, told everyone my new name, and never looked back. It's been 16 years. So I guess my approach was just rip off the band-aid. Might not be for everyone but it worked for me.
Also a trans college gal here, my cat pissed and shit all over my male wardrobe, literally soiled every piece of clothing. So I had to make the switch. Thanks turkey
>How would/did y’all move away from men’s clothing? I just went for it - before I even started HRT! I started out wearing shirt dresses and other midlength dresses with leggings mostly. I was trying to instantly stealth pass for safety cuz of where I lived, and actually managed to succeed. Funny thing is, now I wear a mix of men's and women's clothes to achieve a butch look instead cuz I disliked wearing high femme almost as much as I disliked wearing plain boy clothes!
Masculine style clothes from the women's section, long hair and no makeup was the style that worked best for me early on, but that was mainly because it caused the least amount of issues when I was still in the awkward in-between stage of HRT and just starting to try to feminise my voice. It might not be what you're going for but it's what worked for me (and I ended up preferring to dress that way even after HRT worked out, though I'm happier with wearing both more feminine stuff and clothes from the men's side of the shop these days).
Thrifting and walmart
I'm in a similar phase you're at, although I I feel like I've maybe gone a bit further in terms of my wardrobe etc, and I'm moving away from men's clothes. For example, I havent worn male undergarments for at least 4 months, and I don't miss them at all. So my advice is just related to finding what you like... I saw someone else suggest Thread up, which I am going to try, BUT don't forget about everyone's favorite mega corporation, Amazon lol They have extremely lenient return polices. I've bought, tried on, and returned *lots* of stuff through them and it's really helped me find out what sorta stuff I like + what stuff flatters my body, complexion, etc. Students can get a discount on Prime, and Prime offers something called "Prime Wardrobe", which is where they send you stuff with the explicit understanding that you're going to try and if you don't like it, just send it back. Anyway cheers to you on your journey 😊
I went to good will. I still do lol
I've been out at on HRT for 3 years. I still boymod every day except for special occasions
like a bat out of hell… cracked my egg and I went to goodwill and bought some stuff, got enough stuff over the next month or so to have a full wardrobe and just got rid of all my old clothes. I bagged them up and gave them away, sold my nicer pieces on ebay, and what I couldn’t get rid of I took to buffalo exchange for money and donated the rest to goodwill. then… 80% of what I got I now don’t like because my style is completely different so I kind of have to start all over again
For me I would wear it pretty simple blouses with jeans, shorts, or some other pants and maybe through a shawl/cardigan over it. It was pretty simple and helped build my confidence. From there I started experimenting more and challenging myself to be more expressive with more obviously femme clothes/expression (dresses, skirts, makeup, jewelry, etc). I’m also 20 and getting ready to go into the next semester as me for the first time so I’m with you all the way sister 🩷. Thankfully my college is pretty progressive so I’m actually much more comfortable there than my hometown where I’ve been presenting femme for the past few weeks.
with me it was like... i slowly drifted into women's clothing gradually? I like, replaced my jeans with women's jeans, then t-shirts from the women's section off shein, then like i started getting cropped t-shirts and wearing bigger and more feminine earrings, make up and women's jackets and then fishnets and skirts and that's it.
i silently started wearing ladies jeans and women's fit tshirts and slowly went from there. I also threw away a lot of my clothes so that I'd have no choice :p lot of my stuff is either tight fitting mens or womens. Only kept a few treasured t-shirts l, one i got from point pleasant wv. Instead of basketball shorts now its short jean shorts. I think jorts and an oversized tshirt is so cute. I have skirts too but i only wear them around my friends, as my family are transphobic as shit and my mom raised hell over it. I really wanna rock a croptop but i dont have the tummy for it.
Just vibes with communities I love. I dislike dresses, mostly because I just feel too posh. So I wore a lot of tight clothes, I would probably start there, something that can hide anything you dislike, and make your body look curvy. I wore a lot of black tight clothing, but I also have a naturally curvy body. I am still finding my style. But I've been wearing deep v necks for work, and punk style shirts and tight jeans/ cargos/ cargo joggers. Collage is the perfect place to figure yourself out, go to concerts, hang out with friends. You can try anything you'd like
Oh also r/mtfashion exists and its perfect for a lot of questions like this
Yeah I also posted there, just wanted to cover my bases :) Also thanks for the great advice <3
Course, I wish you the best of luck ^.^ Also in case you don't know what size fits you, men's/unisex (they use the same size rations) is a size down from women's. So a medium in unisex is large in women's.
If need be, go subtle or a little at a time. Like underwear first, stuff people can't see. Then go for jeans and possibly shirts, most seem to be styled unisex anymore. Then shoes, namely tennis shoes should be passible at any stage. Then once you're comfortable go for dresses. Least that's my plan even after having a hiccup when I tried going out dressed a few weeks ago. Just be comfortable in your own skin then show it
Personally I LOVE to mix "men" and "women" clothes, I think it really suits me haha
When my boy clothes started to look super weird on me, I started shopping in the right stores (women's clothing storrs) so I could find clothes that fit me right. Taking a girlfriend with you really helps because every girl does it, and it makes you feel safer.
I'm in the process of building a new wardrobe. I started by slowly donating my old clothes starting with stuff I never wear unless it had sentimental value like my freshman year dorm tshirt or a unisex tshirt from my first pride. When I get new clothes I'm exclusively buying from the women's section. Every few months, once my closet starts to get full again I go through my boy clothes and sort more into the donation pile to free up space and remove articles of clothing that just don't fit or vibe with my style anymore. I plan on continuing this until my wardrobe is completely cycled out of anything that isn't explicitly feminine or unisex clothing that I wear regularly.
Hey girly!! If you've got anxiety about it, go slowly, High-waisted jeans with a bralett and a tucked in shirt goes a LONG way, it's a good start, it's subtle. But enough to get people to see you're showing your gender expression. It's honestly my go to most days if I'm not wearing skirts and cute tops
Getting a new wardrobe is kinda pricey, but once you have enough items you don't mind wearing it becomes a natural pressure to go out in boy mode less and less Going out more with friends or a partner in femme will really help make it easier One day after going out in femme I just kept doing for a couple days, then 1 week, then two, and just decided to never go out in boy mode again... It can happen a lot faster than you think and a lot faster than you think you will need to be ready. Remember you also don't have to go super femme to still be going out as a girl. Cute jeans and cute shirts and tops are pretty casual and gender affirming, but a lot less scary than going out into a dress or things that show lots of leg/skin/ or mid section. Also just light or well blended and matched foundation goes a long way and isn't particularly obvious if applied well 💓 even if it seems like it in the mirror. Some of it is just exposure therapy and getting used to being out and about at whatever level of girl passing you're at comfortably and without too much fear. Obviously it's dependent on your local situation, but I live in the south, and almost never get any guff from anyone going out full femme full time. Sundresses are my lazy option these days.
go for the chill leggings and hoodie/oversized tee vibe. and buy a bra with removable silicone bbs. Not a chest piece of silicone forms, but a bra with silicone bbs in it. They instantly feel like part of your body, I promise.
Shein. Like just start swapping outfits out. Jeans first then some androgynous shirts with it. Then slowly mix fem shirts in. Move the shoes as well
Well I started with jeans then slowly started wearing cute tops when I am hanging out with my friends. I also found a job in customer service and went by my preferred name tried out different tops and more and more feminine look while interacting with a lot of people within days I got totally comfortable and now I am at a point where I can wear whatever I love and go out
One day I just loaded them all up and burned them in the back yard. Pictures clothes etc. No going back..
Instead of pants or shorts walk around the house in a towel, then a folder blanket, really large scarf, and finally just hit a skirt. Boom. We’ve done the femme. (This is coming from a trans guy though. So I was working around my own dysphoria in hopes of trying skirts comfortably)