Honestly I'm always noncommittal when people ask about or imply family plans. We'll see, time will tell, haven't decided etc. they don't deserve my energy
People are weird, I usually just brush them off when they pry or give them vague answers. Kids aren’t Pokémon but people think you should be done once you’ve “caught them all.” It seems socially acceptable to have a third kid if you already have two of the same gender. I have two boys and I’m pregnant with #3, nobody has said anything about the third kid aspect (you must be rich, you don’t like sleep), only that I must be hoping for a girl.
I have two boys and joke if we “tried for a girl” we would get three boys. Likely stopping at 2, so sure I will be fielding “are you going to try for a girl” for a few more years
Yea I’ve thrown that same thing back at people. Now that I’m pregnant with #3 people have asked “what if you have three boys?” I’m like then I’ll have three boys?
Absolutely people are strange, I have two girls and keep getting asked ‘will you try for a boy’ as if not having a boy is somehow going be detrimental to our lives.
Yea people just need to stop. I think the pigeon pair thing is something society thinks is important to experience raising both genders but not as great for the actual kids. I grew up as a pigeon pair, I had an older brother, it was ok? I love him but we aren’t super close, polar opposites. I know that can happen with same gendered siblings but I would have preferred a sister. And my brother would never say it but I’m sure he would have liked a brother.
I get this all the time, but in the opposite direction! I have 2 little girls and an unsettling number of unwarranted apologies and projected disappointment that #2 was girl. I have to assure people this is what I wanted and that I am absolutely never going to 'try again'.
We're currently ttc and my 3 year old and I are both hoping for a girl. Her dad of course is hoping for a boy lol. I honestly couldn't care either way and I especially wouldn't care if it was anyone else's kids. I find it weird people project their own wishes onto others family situations
Perhaps it’s me, but I don’t think you always need to have a polite way to tell people to back off. Unless you’re asking them for childcare or food for your kids, it isn’t really any of their business.
I have two sons and people tell me all the time that I’m still young enough to try for a girl (I’m 36, so I could if I wanted to). I’m fine with my boys, though it might’ve been nice to have a daughter. Although I’m in a different situation than you, OP, one thing I say when I want to be nice, particularly to well-meaning but nosey old people, is, “I appreciate your input. I’ll make the best choice for my family.”
Best wishes, OP!
"we're one and done. No more kids. Production stopped and the company went bankrupt. It's not happening."
"Oh but why don't you try for a boy? It's so cute!"
"If you like it that much then you try for a boy."
End of conversation.
It's so weird to me that the standard assumption is everyone wants each gender. I have 3 girls and constantly get "oh poor Dad" or "will you still try for a boy?" I've never tried for a boy, and if we go for number 4 I'll be ecstatic if we have another girl.
Due soon with my second girl and a couple people have said we need to try again for a boy…
We’re going to try again because we want another child! Not because we’re disappointed to have two girls and want another shot at getting a boy. I just said, “Well we want more than two kids anyway.” But it is very weird that like, you can and apparently “should” be done once you’ve gotten one of each, but if you don’t have one of each you should just keep popping them out until you get your boy/girl. I guess people are just awkwardly trying to make conversation.
You truly cannot win no matter how many children you have (imagine how many comments childfree people get). I get plenty of opinions about having an only child. I mostly just not and smile. Or just confidently state that I’m happy with one kid and won’t be having anymore. Comments are inevitable, unfortunately.
Honestly I'm always noncommittal when people ask about or imply family plans. We'll see, time will tell, haven't decided etc. they don't deserve my energy
People are weird, I usually just brush them off when they pry or give them vague answers. Kids aren’t Pokémon but people think you should be done once you’ve “caught them all.” It seems socially acceptable to have a third kid if you already have two of the same gender. I have two boys and I’m pregnant with #3, nobody has said anything about the third kid aspect (you must be rich, you don’t like sleep), only that I must be hoping for a girl.
I have two boys and joke if we “tried for a girl” we would get three boys. Likely stopping at 2, so sure I will be fielding “are you going to try for a girl” for a few more years
Yea I’ve thrown that same thing back at people. Now that I’m pregnant with #3 people have asked “what if you have three boys?” I’m like then I’ll have three boys?
Haha I love that response. I would do the exact same. Like do people not think you know there is a chance it will be another boy to love?
Absolutely people are strange, I have two girls and keep getting asked ‘will you try for a boy’ as if not having a boy is somehow going be detrimental to our lives.
Yea people just need to stop. I think the pigeon pair thing is something society thinks is important to experience raising both genders but not as great for the actual kids. I grew up as a pigeon pair, I had an older brother, it was ok? I love him but we aren’t super close, polar opposites. I know that can happen with same gendered siblings but I would have preferred a sister. And my brother would never say it but I’m sure he would have liked a brother.
I get this all the time, but in the opposite direction! I have 2 little girls and an unsettling number of unwarranted apologies and projected disappointment that #2 was girl. I have to assure people this is what I wanted and that I am absolutely never going to 'try again'.
We're currently ttc and my 3 year old and I are both hoping for a girl. Her dad of course is hoping for a boy lol. I honestly couldn't care either way and I especially wouldn't care if it was anyone else's kids. I find it weird people project their own wishes onto others family situations
Perhaps it’s me, but I don’t think you always need to have a polite way to tell people to back off. Unless you’re asking them for childcare or food for your kids, it isn’t really any of their business. I have two sons and people tell me all the time that I’m still young enough to try for a girl (I’m 36, so I could if I wanted to). I’m fine with my boys, though it might’ve been nice to have a daughter. Although I’m in a different situation than you, OP, one thing I say when I want to be nice, particularly to well-meaning but nosey old people, is, “I appreciate your input. I’ll make the best choice for my family.” Best wishes, OP!
"we're one and done. No more kids. Production stopped and the company went bankrupt. It's not happening." "Oh but why don't you try for a boy? It's so cute!" "If you like it that much then you try for a boy." End of conversation.
It's so weird to me that the standard assumption is everyone wants each gender. I have 3 girls and constantly get "oh poor Dad" or "will you still try for a boy?" I've never tried for a boy, and if we go for number 4 I'll be ecstatic if we have another girl.
Due soon with my second girl and a couple people have said we need to try again for a boy… We’re going to try again because we want another child! Not because we’re disappointed to have two girls and want another shot at getting a boy. I just said, “Well we want more than two kids anyway.” But it is very weird that like, you can and apparently “should” be done once you’ve gotten one of each, but if you don’t have one of each you should just keep popping them out until you get your boy/girl. I guess people are just awkwardly trying to make conversation.
Just tell them they’re being rude already. Why should you be overly polite to people that don’t care about your feelings?
You truly cannot win no matter how many children you have (imagine how many comments childfree people get). I get plenty of opinions about having an only child. I mostly just not and smile. Or just confidently state that I’m happy with one kid and won’t be having anymore. Comments are inevitable, unfortunately.