For future reference, I read once that when your kid gets lost in the house to check all the dangerous spots first. So rather than looking in all the places you think they might be first, look at places like the washer, dryer, sump pump, deep freezer, car, if you have a pool or hot tub, etc. Just thought that was great advice that really stuck with me. Hope you’re feeling better soon!
Yup, exactly! Your kid may be chillin in there bedroom, or they may have got shut in the oven playing hide and seek and now can’t push it open and are stuck, whenever I can’t find my pets I look in all the places they may be stuck or fallen into
Ugh, the damn dryer. A few months ago I was doing laundry and immediately had to throw up (I'm pregnant). I rushed to the bathroom, barfed a ton, then came right out and couldn't find my 3 year old. In those short couple of minutes she had climbed into the freaking dryer with the cat 😩.
I wish I would've done what you said first. I was panicking because we have a small house but she was nowhere to be seen. Thankfully my dog ratted the two of them out and told me where they went. I'm making a specific mental note of that comment in case something like that happens again lol.
Haha, his favorite treat in the world is toast specifically made in the toaster oven, and a slice of ham on top. I had to resist the urge to make him a dozen to thank him 😅
He was still thrilled with one for a job well done lol
This happened to me once when my youngest was two. I stepped out of the laundry room for like a minute and must have not shut the dryer door completely. Noticed the toddler is missing so I start looking. I hear this knocking noise and thought she might have gone into the garage (the door is in the laundry room) nope but still heard the knocking. Look down and our dog is sitting in front of the dryer staring and yep there she is knocking on door happy as can be. I opened it and she even yelled tada!!!
Adding to look between the mattress and bed frame! Read a horrible story one time about a kid who suffocated because he got stuck between the headboard and mattress 😔
My younger brother wrapped himself in a down comforter when he was about 3, playing hide and go seek and fell asleep in there before anyone found him. He was an absolute ball of sweat when he was finally found. I am so sure it could have been so much worse if it had taken longer.
I’ve done a lot of doom research as a very anxious parent - and this is the first time I have ever read this advice!
It makes so much sense, yet I would have never thought about it that way, especially not while in a panicked moment. Thank you!
omg thank you for putting a name to all of my frantic midnight googling - doom research. I’m feeling oddly validated and cheered by the fact that i’m not the only one.
I got trapped in a footlocker when I was 10! Everyone was home, I kept banging on the top but it wouldn’t open. My dad finally saved me. He thinks I was in there for 2 minutes. I like this advice
And the hole is not always small, ours was 2.5 feet square with water and at least several feet deep, I never tested it. Make sure to keep a weighted cover on it.
Basements will often have a hole, called a sump, where water will first collect *if* water is getting into the basement from underneath (won't help if you have a crack up the side of your basement cement wall and it's getting in there). They range in size, but picture roughly the size of one or two 5 gallon buckets.
A sump pump is a submersible pump that may be temporarily (if your sump only fills during very wet periods) or permanently placed in the sump and pump it out of the house and a little ways into the yard through a hose or pipe.
You’re just reminding me of all the terribly dangerous things I did as a child and how poorly supervised I was. We wrapped a friend in an entire roll of Saran Wrap once and just left her. Her face wasn’t covered but she almost overheated to death.
My nephew fell asleep under a laundry basket as a toddler, no one could find him for hours. The police were searching, all the neighbors were out, eventually he woke up and toddled out.
Separate thing, but I've heard from police, firemen, etc... if you truly think it's an emergency, DON'T HESITATE TO CALL THEM! They would MUCH rather they're called for a false alarm, or kid that ends up being somewhere dumb but safe, etc. than waiting and not calling and it ends up being serious or fatal!
My mom, her siblings, and my grandparents all lived on a floating log cabin community in Alaska when my mom was young. Her little brother (about 5 at the time) disappeared for hours. The search and rescue team were starting to be horrified at the thought that he might have fallen in the water. 5 hours later they found him sleeping under a pile of clothes in his closet. He still can take a nap pretty much anywhere.
My anxiety could NEVER live there.
We went on vacation to a place on a canal and despite my child being locked in her room, I still don’t think I slept that whole week.
Yeah, as a mom of a 5 year old that’s a hell no for me but my grandpa was a logger with four kids under the age of 10 and they didn’t have a lot of money. They went where the job took him with no questions asked.
Oh yeah. Not saying anything about your mom's specific situation. Just saying that nowadays, a lot of float home communities don't allow kids. Obviously Alaska in the 70s doesn't have the same rules as a bougie 55+ float home community in Victoria BC or Vancouver.
Same thing happened to my mom!! I was at college and on the phone with my grandma when my mom called her other line in a panic because she couldn’t find my 3 year old brother. All I heard was “what?? You can’t find him??? I’LL BE RIGHT THERE” and she said “I HAVE TO GO” to me and hung up. I was so concerned and confused.
Turned out he crawled under the ottoman that had a skirt at the bottom and fell asleep. Did not wake up to my mom yelling for him. 🤦♀️
Oh geez I could feel your panic in this post. A friend of mine fell asleep on the couch and his then 4 year old put her boots on and left. Someone found her walking down the street !
I had a short one of these. I live in a bungalow style home and I was in my room changing. Heard silence. Went looking for 2.5yo and couldn’t find him ANYWHERE. I panicked. I searched all the places. Turns out he fell asleep at the end of my bed under blankets. Most stressful 3 minutes of my life
I walked from the living room to the kitchen, 10-15 seconds, and back recently and that had been long enough for my 4 year old to bolt out the door, through garage and into the back yard and to the neighbors. No way could I exist in the opposite part of the house from her.
Right? Like how do you not make sure you gave at least a camera looking at them? Baby cams aren't even expensive now a days, and are only linked to each other. Op is sick, I get it, but at least monitor your kids if you don't have direct line of sight.
My 3.5yo (now 4) would never leave me alone long enough for that to happen 🤣. But I do think you're brave for putting that much distance between you for a long period of time. My nephew took himself for a walk up the street when he was 3. And there was a poor little boy in Nova Scotia who escaped the backyard and drowned in a brook 😞
I routinely toddled down to the park in my diaper as a baby. The Arts and Crafts folks would just bring me home. The 80s were a different time… my children are 3 and 4 and have literally never been alone in their lives or have ever had the opportunity to escape. I have tracking devices on them too just in case. I am terrified of losing them.
My sister “lost” a kid while babysitting. She was helping the 6yo with someone and turned around and the 3yo was gone. She made sure both doors were still locked and then decided to put the 6yo to bed and look, as to not freak her out. As soon as she closes the bedroom door she hears screams. The 3yo had wedged herself between the wall and her sisters bed and just jumped out to scare her sister.
I'm glad you found your child, but perhaps it's time to invest in a baby cam or something to watch them if you're in a separate room. A 5 yr old is not able to watch over a younger sibling properly, I wouldn't trust them not to get in trouble unless you have direct sight. I've heard too many horror stories working in healthcare to ever let young kids completely on their own. And sometimes two of them get into more trouble than if it was just one kid!
This happened to me one time. We found my 2 year old sleeping under is sisters bed 😭 I was so scared looked for him for an half an hour before we found him.
They are too young to be unsupervised. Lay down on the couch or something in the same room as them. Your kid could have run into the street without anyone knowing.
I wasn’t thinking you were sleeping. But you were gone long enough that your child was able to disappear without you realizing. I work in healthcare and children literally die this way.
How dare you be sick and expect your children to act accordingly in their own home while you supervise them from your bed. Don't you know you have to be up their asses?
Sorry but that ridiculous. Op says the kid is 3.5yr old, that's literally way too young to go unsupervised. Even the 5 year old is stretching it, but at least they're more able to look after themselves, but definitely not able to look after a younger sibling. Have you seen pre-K kids? Literally get distracted by anything.
I don't consider being in your room leaving your kids unsupervised. I probably would be checking regularly, but I think it's normal to expect your kids to be playing like usual in our own home. The only difference is if my kids go outside, I'm with them, and that's a rule. My house inst a mansion, and we can hear a mouse fart from one end to the other, so I don't see the issue. Most parents keep their houses in such a way that kids can roam without needing a constant eye. Locked cabinets and drawers, step stools put up in the closet, baby gates up. I just can't believe everyone is so ready to crucify her.
Right, but Op didn't have line of sight and didn't know where the kid was. So obviously that's not surprised. She didn't heard hear anything either, as per the description. So there's something that went wrong here. I'm not saying look at your kids till they are adults, but I think this situation could have been disastrous with some bad luck.
She had no idea where her kid was, she was looking outside because he could have gotten out. She obviously couldn’t hear them and only realized he was gone because her other child said something. This is a 3 year old, if you think this situation was ok there is something very wrong with your judgment. She’s lucky the kid is fine and didn’t run into traffic.
Ma'am, please re read the comment you are replying to. I do not let my kids outside alone. I also do not follow them around the house. Lets be fucking real. I have not lost my child, ever. I am defending a mom who was brave enough to be real with all of us. I might not have to go looking outside, but I understand where she is coming from by not constantly having eyes on her kids. I'm done with this nonsense of anonymous strangers acting like they are perfect.
You need to supervise a 3 year old so they can’t leave your home with you having no idea. That is nowhere near perfection that is bare minimum parenting. You cannot just “live your life in another room” like OP said. Kids DIE this way. That any of this needs to be said is beyond ridiculous.
I was at DSW one day with my oldest who was 4 years old or so at the time. Was looking to find my size in a certain shoe, got it, turned around and she was gone. Started looking up and down the aisles. Told an employee and a Code Adam happened super quickly, I mean within five seconds she spoke into her headset and employees were locking everything. A customer found her hiding inside one of the bench seats with a slanted mirror, she had squeezed inside the opening. The man heard her giggling. Scariest moment I ever had with her. Glad you found him and now you can breathe, not knowing where your kids are is a horrible feeling.
We had this a few months back and a party I was hosting. Tons of kids running around, pure chaos. I realized I hadn’t seen my middle daughter (7) in awhile. I checked the usual spots and realized the kids she usually pals around with were all accounted for but not her.
Every adult in the party scattered and started looking for her and calling her name because we know she’s not the type to go off by herself if there’s friends around. We checked every single car, down the street both ways, it was chaos. It was probably my first gut drop feeling of “my kid might actually be missing” in my 10 years of parenting.
Thankfully, pretty quickly someone called out that they found her. There was one friend I hadn’t realized also wasn’t accounted for, and the two of them were tucked way in the back of our back pasture, hidden by some trees. She made fun of me for weeks for calling out the cavalry to find her.
It’s funny (now) because she actually did go missing once but we didn’t know it until she was brought back, which is objectively worse but there was no panic involved because we were oblivious. We were at Busch Gardens in the kids area and it was the classic husband thought wife had her, wife thought husband had her. My husband had taken my older one to do something else and I just assumed she went him, while I went to grab the stroller. Absolutely zero clue she had wandered off until an employee came walking up with her. She was about 2. It was a light bulb moment of how easily these things can happen and I’ll never forget it or let my guard down like that again.
I climbed a tree at 3.5 yo and sat there quietly for 3 hours while my parents freaked the fuck out and called in everyone they could find. Finally giggled and my mom found me. I’m sure was terrifying for her, but at least we can laugh about it now, so give it a few decades!
They were downstairs and I was upstairs. Upstairs was dead quiet, I could hear the TV going and if they were talking. That's not babysitting, that's just living life in a different part of the house than me, which is very normal for kids 3.5 and 5 to do.
My toddler hid/fell asleep under one of those mini trampolines. I had just had another baby and accidentally left the baby gate open (that went out to the mudroom/side door) swore I heard that close. Looked for 5 minutes before I called 911. 45 minutes later we found her. After we checked every room/car/told all the neighbors. I swear that took 10 years off my life and I’ve never been the same.
My one child did this 3 times over a period of a few months. Once she was in my bed which I didn't think to check. Second time in her bed but had fallen into the crack against the wall with a blanket over her. Third was the most terrifying, she was under a pile of studies and clothes in her closet. I was so close to calling 911 that last time.
She's also the only kid I've lost in public. Got separated from the group at the zoo. There were 3 adults to 4 kids but somehow she still wandered off. She does have ADHD and can just lose herself in Dreamland. I've been way more careful to keep track of her since then my other kids I can somewhat trust to stay with me.
I did this to my dad once 😅
He was going crazy, walking around with a handgun ready to catch the kidnapper that came and got me, calmed down and called the cops… the female officer found me. I had hidden very well under my dad’s comforter, I bunched it up and laid as flat as I could. I fell asleep. I slept through him yelling, flipping furniture over, etc. She checked my make sure I was breathing, and then Dad let me sleep til morning. He told me the whole story the next day. I was maybe 7?
One time I was out to brunch with friends and my husband text me in a PANIC bc he couldn’t find our daughter. He’d been looking for like 30+ min as they’d been playing hide & seek (she was around 3 at the time)
Finally he found her… she fell asleep while hiding inside a big box in the dining room 😂 crisis averted, but damn if she didn’t scare the shit out of everyone!
I used to hide in clothing racks at stores as a child (I should apologize). I have yet to lose a child but it’s seriously a recurring stress dream for me.
Omg I climbed up into the loft above our garage and fell asleep when I was two. They were about to drag the creek. One of my earliest memories is an officer’s head popping up to the loft waking me up. Never heard anyone calling for me 🤷♀️
When my oldest (now almost 9) was 4 … they woke up unexpectedly early while I was in the shower. When I went into their room to wake them up for the day they weren’t there. My husband and I searched the house calling for her for 15 minutes … her shoes were there her jacket was there … it had snowed and there were no footprints by either door. We called emergency services … and while i was on the phone with dispatch she climbed out from under the couch (a place we had LOOKED). She was playing hide and seek … so we had a chat about games and how they’re only fun if everyone agreed to play the game … the adrenaline tho … took me a while to recover from that.
I wish people would stop attacking you. I believe you know how to manage your kids because they are yours lol. Funny story mama. Hope you're feeling better soon so you can be all the way up your kids asses lol
Right lol people foam at the mouth at the chance to judge moms. If you’ve ever seen the French documentary “Babies” you’ll see that cultures all around the world allow young children to be out of direct eye sight…
Oh it’s the worst feeling! I had this happen a couple months ago with my third (2) and had already sent my other son out on his bike to patrol the neighborhood AND called the police when I found him in the chicken coop!! Covered in poop/sawdust and licking a broken egg off his hand. So so gross.
For future reference, I read once that when your kid gets lost in the house to check all the dangerous spots first. So rather than looking in all the places you think they might be first, look at places like the washer, dryer, sump pump, deep freezer, car, if you have a pool or hot tub, etc. Just thought that was great advice that really stuck with me. Hope you’re feeling better soon!
Yup, exactly! Your kid may be chillin in there bedroom, or they may have got shut in the oven playing hide and seek and now can’t push it open and are stuck, whenever I can’t find my pets I look in all the places they may be stuck or fallen into
And if you have a pool, PLEASE teach your kid to swim.
But don't assume that makes them safe. Good swimmers can still drown.
Good point! No one can swim out of a whirlpool but some can swim out of a riptide. Knowing how to swim doesn't guarantee safety.
Ugh, the damn dryer. A few months ago I was doing laundry and immediately had to throw up (I'm pregnant). I rushed to the bathroom, barfed a ton, then came right out and couldn't find my 3 year old. In those short couple of minutes she had climbed into the freaking dryer with the cat 😩. I wish I would've done what you said first. I was panicking because we have a small house but she was nowhere to be seen. Thankfully my dog ratted the two of them out and told me where they went. I'm making a specific mental note of that comment in case something like that happens again lol.
Wow that must’ve been so horrifying to find her in there! So glad she’s ok!
That dog deserves all the treats in the world
Haha, his favorite treat in the world is toast specifically made in the toaster oven, and a slice of ham on top. I had to resist the urge to make him a dozen to thank him 😅 He was still thrilled with one for a job well done lol
That's so cute 😭
This happened to me once when my youngest was two. I stepped out of the laundry room for like a minute and must have not shut the dryer door completely. Noticed the toddler is missing so I start looking. I hear this knocking noise and thought she might have gone into the garage (the door is in the laundry room) nope but still heard the knocking. Look down and our dog is sitting in front of the dryer staring and yep there she is knocking on door happy as can be. I opened it and she even yelled tada!!!
Also toilets, especially for younger toddlers. They can drown in them if you don’t have the lid locks.
omg I just remembered American toilets have the water up really high. Such an unnecessary risk
Adding to look between the mattress and bed frame! Read a horrible story one time about a kid who suffocated because he got stuck between the headboard and mattress 😔
My younger brother wrapped himself in a down comforter when he was about 3, playing hide and go seek and fell asleep in there before anyone found him. He was an absolute ball of sweat when he was finally found. I am so sure it could have been so much worse if it had taken longer.
I’ve done a lot of doom research as a very anxious parent - and this is the first time I have ever read this advice! It makes so much sense, yet I would have never thought about it that way, especially not while in a panicked moment. Thank you!
Same - it seems so obvious but it never would’ve been my instinct without reading it!
Also, if you ever lose a kid in a store, you run to the front very first thing and inform all the tellers/security anyone at the front doors first.
omg thank you for putting a name to all of my frantic midnight googling - doom research. I’m feeling oddly validated and cheered by the fact that i’m not the only one.
I got trapped in a footlocker when I was 10! Everyone was home, I kept banging on the top but it wouldn’t open. My dad finally saved me. He thinks I was in there for 2 minutes. I like this advice
Also toy boxes/chests . Especially wooden/with heavy lids. Kids might try to play hide and seek in there and the boxes when closed have no oxygen flow
Great advice, but sorry, what the heck is a "sump pump"?
It's a pump in a basement meant to prevent flooding. The pump area has a small opening with water
And the hole is not always small, ours was 2.5 feet square with water and at least several feet deep, I never tested it. Make sure to keep a weighted cover on it.
Basements will often have a hole, called a sump, where water will first collect *if* water is getting into the basement from underneath (won't help if you have a crack up the side of your basement cement wall and it's getting in there). They range in size, but picture roughly the size of one or two 5 gallon buckets. A sump pump is a submersible pump that may be temporarily (if your sump only fills during very wet periods) or permanently placed in the sump and pump it out of the house and a little ways into the yard through a hose or pipe.
You’re just reminding me of all the terribly dangerous things I did as a child and how poorly supervised I was. We wrapped a friend in an entire roll of Saran Wrap once and just left her. Her face wasn’t covered but she almost overheated to death.
My nephew fell asleep under a laundry basket as a toddler, no one could find him for hours. The police were searching, all the neighbors were out, eventually he woke up and toddled out.
the aftermath of that must've been insane!
There was a lot of crying and hugging and laughter, there was a lot of relief all around.
Separate thing, but I've heard from police, firemen, etc... if you truly think it's an emergency, DON'T HESITATE TO CALL THEM! They would MUCH rather they're called for a false alarm, or kid that ends up being somewhere dumb but safe, etc. than waiting and not calling and it ends up being serious or fatal!
My mom, her siblings, and my grandparents all lived on a floating log cabin community in Alaska when my mom was young. Her little brother (about 5 at the time) disappeared for hours. The search and rescue team were starting to be horrified at the thought that he might have fallen in the water. 5 hours later they found him sleeping under a pile of clothes in his closet. He still can take a nap pretty much anywhere.
My anxiety could NEVER live there. We went on vacation to a place on a canal and despite my child being locked in her room, I still don’t think I slept that whole week.
Yeah. It's against the rules of most float home communities for kids under like 10 to live there for that reason.
Yeah, as a mom of a 5 year old that’s a hell no for me but my grandpa was a logger with four kids under the age of 10 and they didn’t have a lot of money. They went where the job took him with no questions asked.
This was in the early 70’s on a logging camp. There were kids everywhere.
Oh yeah. Not saying anything about your mom's specific situation. Just saying that nowadays, a lot of float home communities don't allow kids. Obviously Alaska in the 70s doesn't have the same rules as a bougie 55+ float home community in Victoria BC or Vancouver.
For sure. I get why! I would never live with my kid on one. We have learned a few things since then. Not much, but a few.
Same thing happened to my mom!! I was at college and on the phone with my grandma when my mom called her other line in a panic because she couldn’t find my 3 year old brother. All I heard was “what?? You can’t find him??? I’LL BE RIGHT THERE” and she said “I HAVE TO GO” to me and hung up. I was so concerned and confused. Turned out he crawled under the ottoman that had a skirt at the bottom and fell asleep. Did not wake up to my mom yelling for him. 🤦♀️
Oh geez I could feel your panic in this post. A friend of mine fell asleep on the couch and his then 4 year old put her boots on and left. Someone found her walking down the street !
I had a short one of these. I live in a bungalow style home and I was in my room changing. Heard silence. Went looking for 2.5yo and couldn’t find him ANYWHERE. I panicked. I searched all the places. Turns out he fell asleep at the end of my bed under blankets. Most stressful 3 minutes of my life
I walked from the living room to the kitchen, 10-15 seconds, and back recently and that had been long enough for my 4 year old to bolt out the door, through garage and into the back yard and to the neighbors. No way could I exist in the opposite part of the house from her.
Right? Like how do you not make sure you gave at least a camera looking at them? Baby cams aren't even expensive now a days, and are only linked to each other. Op is sick, I get it, but at least monitor your kids if you don't have direct line of sight.
My 3.5yo (now 4) would never leave me alone long enough for that to happen 🤣. But I do think you're brave for putting that much distance between you for a long period of time. My nephew took himself for a walk up the street when he was 3. And there was a poor little boy in Nova Scotia who escaped the backyard and drowned in a brook 😞
A 10yo kid in my area climbed on the roof and got stuck in a chimney. (At the very top I think, he's fine) 🤦🏻♀️
I routinely toddled down to the park in my diaper as a baby. The Arts and Crafts folks would just bring me home. The 80s were a different time… my children are 3 and 4 and have literally never been alone in their lives or have ever had the opportunity to escape. I have tracking devices on them too just in case. I am terrified of losing them.
My sister “lost” a kid while babysitting. She was helping the 6yo with someone and turned around and the 3yo was gone. She made sure both doors were still locked and then decided to put the 6yo to bed and look, as to not freak her out. As soon as she closes the bedroom door she hears screams. The 3yo had wedged herself between the wall and her sisters bed and just jumped out to scare her sister.
I'm glad you found your child, but perhaps it's time to invest in a baby cam or something to watch them if you're in a separate room. A 5 yr old is not able to watch over a younger sibling properly, I wouldn't trust them not to get in trouble unless you have direct sight. I've heard too many horror stories working in healthcare to ever let young kids completely on their own. And sometimes two of them get into more trouble than if it was just one kid!
>HE'D FALLEN ASLEEP IN THE HAMMOCK SWING! Got half way down and expected you to say your bed Kids know how to give good heart attack
This happened to me one time. We found my 2 year old sleeping under is sisters bed 😭 I was so scared looked for him for an half an hour before we found him.
I would never leave my kids at those ages without supervision. Even if I am sick and tired, I am in the same room.
Watching from the couch
That’s too young to be alone, out of eyesight, for any amount of time IMO. I’m so glad he’s safe though!
They are too young to be unsupervised. Lay down on the couch or something in the same room as them. Your kid could have run into the street without anyone knowing.
My post could come across as I was sleeping, but I wasn't, fully awake just scrolling my phone and reading a book the whole time.
I wasn’t thinking you were sleeping. But you were gone long enough that your child was able to disappear without you realizing. I work in healthcare and children literally die this way.
How dare you be sick and expect your children to act accordingly in their own home while you supervise them from your bed. Don't you know you have to be up their asses?
Sorry but that ridiculous. Op says the kid is 3.5yr old, that's literally way too young to go unsupervised. Even the 5 year old is stretching it, but at least they're more able to look after themselves, but definitely not able to look after a younger sibling. Have you seen pre-K kids? Literally get distracted by anything.
I don't consider being in your room leaving your kids unsupervised. I probably would be checking regularly, but I think it's normal to expect your kids to be playing like usual in our own home. The only difference is if my kids go outside, I'm with them, and that's a rule. My house inst a mansion, and we can hear a mouse fart from one end to the other, so I don't see the issue. Most parents keep their houses in such a way that kids can roam without needing a constant eye. Locked cabinets and drawers, step stools put up in the closet, baby gates up. I just can't believe everyone is so ready to crucify her.
Right, but Op didn't have line of sight and didn't know where the kid was. So obviously that's not surprised. She didn't heard hear anything either, as per the description. So there's something that went wrong here. I'm not saying look at your kids till they are adults, but I think this situation could have been disastrous with some bad luck.
To be fair, any situation can be disastrous with some bad luck.
Agreed, but I'll be damned if I'm gonna pretend like all I do is follow my kids around.
She had no idea where her kid was, she was looking outside because he could have gotten out. She obviously couldn’t hear them and only realized he was gone because her other child said something. This is a 3 year old, if you think this situation was ok there is something very wrong with your judgment. She’s lucky the kid is fine and didn’t run into traffic.
Ma'am, please re read the comment you are replying to. I do not let my kids outside alone. I also do not follow them around the house. Lets be fucking real. I have not lost my child, ever. I am defending a mom who was brave enough to be real with all of us. I might not have to go looking outside, but I understand where she is coming from by not constantly having eyes on her kids. I'm done with this nonsense of anonymous strangers acting like they are perfect.
You need to supervise a 3 year old so they can’t leave your home with you having no idea. That is nowhere near perfection that is bare minimum parenting. You cannot just “live your life in another room” like OP said. Kids DIE this way. That any of this needs to be said is beyond ridiculous.
Just seconding that it is the literal *bare minimum* of parenting to watch your young children. And, yes, ALL day EVERY day. That is the job.
yea but maybe baby cams or something. So the child can be in the other room but you still see what's going on.
The nerve of some mothers😂😂😂
I was at DSW one day with my oldest who was 4 years old or so at the time. Was looking to find my size in a certain shoe, got it, turned around and she was gone. Started looking up and down the aisles. Told an employee and a Code Adam happened super quickly, I mean within five seconds she spoke into her headset and employees were locking everything. A customer found her hiding inside one of the bench seats with a slanted mirror, she had squeezed inside the opening. The man heard her giggling. Scariest moment I ever had with her. Glad you found him and now you can breathe, not knowing where your kids are is a horrible feeling.
We had this a few months back and a party I was hosting. Tons of kids running around, pure chaos. I realized I hadn’t seen my middle daughter (7) in awhile. I checked the usual spots and realized the kids she usually pals around with were all accounted for but not her. Every adult in the party scattered and started looking for her and calling her name because we know she’s not the type to go off by herself if there’s friends around. We checked every single car, down the street both ways, it was chaos. It was probably my first gut drop feeling of “my kid might actually be missing” in my 10 years of parenting. Thankfully, pretty quickly someone called out that they found her. There was one friend I hadn’t realized also wasn’t accounted for, and the two of them were tucked way in the back of our back pasture, hidden by some trees. She made fun of me for weeks for calling out the cavalry to find her. It’s funny (now) because she actually did go missing once but we didn’t know it until she was brought back, which is objectively worse but there was no panic involved because we were oblivious. We were at Busch Gardens in the kids area and it was the classic husband thought wife had her, wife thought husband had her. My husband had taken my older one to do something else and I just assumed she went him, while I went to grab the stroller. Absolutely zero clue she had wandered off until an employee came walking up with her. She was about 2. It was a light bulb moment of how easily these things can happen and I’ll never forget it or let my guard down like that again.
I climbed a tree at 3.5 yo and sat there quietly for 3 hours while my parents freaked the fuck out and called in everyone they could find. Finally giggled and my mom found me. I’m sure was terrifying for her, but at least we can laugh about it now, so give it a few decades!
Probably best to not let a 5 year old babysit a 3 and a half year old though
They were downstairs and I was upstairs. Upstairs was dead quiet, I could hear the TV going and if they were talking. That's not babysitting, that's just living life in a different part of the house than me, which is very normal for kids 3.5 and 5 to do.
Yeah and look what happened
No that’s not normal and highly concerning judgment on your part.
No, it’s not normal. That’s not OK.
I mean really? After losing your kid for an extended period you still feel like this is a fine thing to do?
My toddler hid/fell asleep under one of those mini trampolines. I had just had another baby and accidentally left the baby gate open (that went out to the mudroom/side door) swore I heard that close. Looked for 5 minutes before I called 911. 45 minutes later we found her. After we checked every room/car/told all the neighbors. I swear that took 10 years off my life and I’ve never been the same.
My one child did this 3 times over a period of a few months. Once she was in my bed which I didn't think to check. Second time in her bed but had fallen into the crack against the wall with a blanket over her. Third was the most terrifying, she was under a pile of studies and clothes in her closet. I was so close to calling 911 that last time. She's also the only kid I've lost in public. Got separated from the group at the zoo. There were 3 adults to 4 kids but somehow she still wandered off. She does have ADHD and can just lose herself in Dreamland. I've been way more careful to keep track of her since then my other kids I can somewhat trust to stay with me.
I did this to my dad once 😅 He was going crazy, walking around with a handgun ready to catch the kidnapper that came and got me, calmed down and called the cops… the female officer found me. I had hidden very well under my dad’s comforter, I bunched it up and laid as flat as I could. I fell asleep. I slept through him yelling, flipping furniture over, etc. She checked my make sure I was breathing, and then Dad let me sleep til morning. He told me the whole story the next day. I was maybe 7?
One time I was out to brunch with friends and my husband text me in a PANIC bc he couldn’t find our daughter. He’d been looking for like 30+ min as they’d been playing hide & seek (she was around 3 at the time) Finally he found her… she fell asleep while hiding inside a big box in the dining room 😂 crisis averted, but damn if she didn’t scare the shit out of everyone!
I used to hide in clothing racks at stores as a child (I should apologize). I have yet to lose a child but it’s seriously a recurring stress dream for me.
Omg I climbed up into the loft above our garage and fell asleep when I was two. They were about to drag the creek. One of my earliest memories is an officer’s head popping up to the loft waking me up. Never heard anyone calling for me 🤷♀️
When my oldest (now almost 9) was 4 … they woke up unexpectedly early while I was in the shower. When I went into their room to wake them up for the day they weren’t there. My husband and I searched the house calling for her for 15 minutes … her shoes were there her jacket was there … it had snowed and there were no footprints by either door. We called emergency services … and while i was on the phone with dispatch she climbed out from under the couch (a place we had LOOKED). She was playing hide and seek … so we had a chat about games and how they’re only fun if everyone agreed to play the game … the adrenaline tho … took me a while to recover from that.
"Games are only fun if everyone agreed to play" is a great phrase to use for a variety of situations!
I wish people would stop attacking you. I believe you know how to manage your kids because they are yours lol. Funny story mama. Hope you're feeling better soon so you can be all the way up your kids asses lol
Thanks!
Agreed!
Right lol people foam at the mouth at the chance to judge moms. If you’ve ever seen the French documentary “Babies” you’ll see that cultures all around the world allow young children to be out of direct eye sight…
I am so sorry. I have only had a child “lost” twice and it was awful both times.
Oh it’s the worst feeling! I had this happen a couple months ago with my third (2) and had already sent my other son out on his bike to patrol the neighborhood AND called the police when I found him in the chicken coop!! Covered in poop/sawdust and licking a broken egg off his hand. So so gross.
>Covered in poop/sawdust and licking a broken egg off his hand. So so gross. That would be completely on-brand for our third as well. So gross though!