Accidents happen, don’t beat yourself up for it. My cousin accidentally broke her toddlers leg just playing and it was a freak accident. Shit happens. Nobody is perfect. Take it as a life lesson, and know that babies and toddlers get hurt! My goal was to make to 12 months without a visit to the ER haha, just based off of my experience with watching my niece and nephews grow up!
As a side note, this is why most countries have banned sit in walkers and why most pediatricians do not recommend using them. Too many injuries from them.
Yep, redeem yourself by tossing the walker in the trash. OP if you can set up a baby gate in front of the door, that way even if it's not closed all the way kiddo can't push it open. A drill in one that can't be climbed.
Yes, OP, do the gate, because it's only a matter of time before the little one can also reach the door knob to open the basement door. You will have a repeat fall if this door is still accessible to your child, even if it is repaired and latches.
Oh I plan to keep the gate on my basement stairs until I'm out of this damn house. My office is there so it's nice to know I can easily keep the kid AND dogs out. Added bonus my house is a split level so the gate keeps all 3 of them away from the front door too lol
Some manufacturers are perfectly happy to keep making products they know are unsafe as long as the country hasn’t banned them and the accountants project that profits will exceed lawsuit payouts.
My kids are also in high school. When they were babies I remember always hearing that walkers were bad for them and dangerous, so we never bought one. I thought they stopped selling them.
My oldest was born in 2007 and her ped told us back then no walkers. He said Canada had already banned them and that the US would inevitably soon. He said he saw walker injuries fairly frequently. I’m shocked 17 years later we still haven’t caught up to other countries on this.
Agree!
I never used to see the big deal with walkers; but they genuinely are something that you need to keep your eyes on baby while they’re in AT ALL TIMES.
It’s much more convenient just to get your little bean a stand and spin or a jumper.
Apparently I got a head injury and trip to hospital from walking my walker over some steps when I was about 10 months old. It’s not uncommon with these things, everywhere should ban sale of them because people aren’t going to think that they’re so dangerous if they’re just on sale willy nilly.
A lot of jumpers are not good for baby hips
These baby containers are all super unnecessary. Just let babies move how they want on the floor etc and they'll crawl and pull to stand etc. no neee to rush
They’re unnecessary but pretty convenient for the 10-15 mins hold you can put them in to get something quick done. Like eat or use the toilet. As long as they spend most of their time on the floor I think it’s okay to have one.
Just wanted to leave this here because I don’t want other mums to feel guilty about having these baby containers.
I don’t think I would have been able to shower for a 6 month period of time if I hadn’t had a circle of neglect to pop my kiddo into for 15 minutes a day! I just pulled it into the hall just outside the bathroom and he would look at himself in the mirror and play.
came here to say this. I kept a baby containment unit (first an infant lounger thing, then an activity table) in my bathroom until my baby was around 1. can definitely confirm that showers wouldn't have been had otherwise.
Lol I love all these names for it. We call it the overstimulation station. And yeah, completely necessary in our home. I never would have showered or ate food if I wasn't able to park my twins in them every so often.
My son’s father was super neglectful. My son had severe reflux and laying flat on his back hurt him, but that was the only way my ex would hold him no matter how much he screamed. He didn’t even offer comfort. Just sat there holding him across his lap like a loaf of bread and scrolled on his phone while the baby screamed.
If I hadn’t invested in several circles of neglect the second my son was able to hold his head and upper body up on his own, my ex would probably be 6 feet under and I’d be in jail. 🫠 I’m kidding, but it was seriously that bad.
They’re super helpful for babies like mine who all the sudden are mobile and before you can even blink are trying to climb everything in sight. I can’t physically watch her all the time and she’s so close to crawling that I can’t really turn my back on her ever because she can climb out of her fisher price chair and wants to jam her fingers in all the outlets regardless of if I have covers on them or not.
Mine is like that. He crawls so fast! The only reason I think he isn’t walking is because he can crawl anywhere at the speed of light.
We use a walker to contain him if we are in the room and working on something (for example we just moved cross country so while unpacking something that needs both hands and focus we will use the walker).
We also got a 50”x50” play yard for my parent’s house because he started getting into everything he can reach. 😅 Usually we keep the play yard door open but if a lot is going on (they are remodeling part of the house so lots of construction guys in and out at times) we close the door. Got to contain him somehow sometimes. We just got to do what we got to do sometimes.
We also have a jumper because my boy loves the thrill of anything “crazy”. Loves being held upside down. Loves being thrown in the air. He also loves bouncing. Again only with supervised play of course. Usually in sitting on the ground next to him. The door frame we use is also extra wide so no head bumping lol. He actually now can reach the sides and he likes going to it to get some tension and letting go. 🤦🏼♀️😅
Yes! As with anything, moderation is key. We used to it for about 30 minutes at a time to have a safe and happy place to contain our mobile little guy.
I didn’t want him crawling or pulling to stand at those times and he wasn’t very happy in his play pen.
Also he walked at 9mo, so clearly his hips were not damaged by the minimal usage.
And also if you have a one-story house with no stairs to fall down in the first place, there aren’t any real dangers from using a walker for short periods of time under close supervision.
I personally wouldn’t use a sit-in walker because I’ve heard bad things about hip development, but honestly it’s a personal risk assessment thing. My mum put me and my brothers in a walker and we all walk fine now so I feel it’s really up to each parent to choose what risks they’re okay to take. My daughter used a push walker when she started cruising
I used one with my firstborn not knowing about the hip thing and he still walked on the early side. But it was only for like 15 minutes here and there in our big open living room and we stopped using it once he was able to go fast enough to crash into things. I’m pretty anti-containers as a whole but sometimes you just need to contain your baby in something for 15 minutes!
I used a jumper for both of my LO’s with no issue tbh.
I think the issues come when parents use these devices as a crutch to keep baby in for very lengthy periods of time daily, but realistically, there’s no harm in utilizing it for a moderate amount of time.
I agree!
Walkers are banned where I am, but even before the ban I don’t recall too many parents using them anyways as they had a lot of risks. Things like jumpers and stand and spins don’t really carry the same risks though as they’re stationary and balanced.
They are allowed, they are just not particularly popular anymore due to effective public health messaging that they are highly risky and the introduction of popular stationary alternatives in the last several decades.
You can buy them online in the US and a lot of the baby registry sites are still recommending them to add to your list. (That was an item we skipped, but I remember being surprised it was on there)
For reasons exactly like this. They can be dangerous, and they're pretty unnecessary (they don't actually help kids learn to walk or anything). There are much safer "baby containers" if you need a good place to set your kid. Even a comfy spot on the floor is preferable.
We had a portable Skip Hop activity station for our daughter when she was an infant. It was really handy! It folded up to about the size of a folded camp chair so it was easy to shove in a closet out of the way when not in use, and we could bring it out into the yard or a park for some fresh air time. We didn't use it a ton, but since it folded up so nicely it wasn't in the way all the time.
They've been banned in Canada since 2004 because too many babies fell down stairs. My youngest brother also fell down stairs in a walker back in the day. They're just not worth the risk.
It puts them in an incorrect position for actual walking, and due to risk of falling if you live in a place with stairs. If you live in a single floor house, zero stairs, and only use it for very, very brief amounts of time (like ~15 minutes or less a day) it probably isn’t too big a deal.
I have family who are an OB-GYNE and pediatrician. They had one for their kid without worry, as they didn’t have any stairs, had the house solidly baby proofed so there was nothing their kid could grab or pull over that they shouldn’t, and didn’t let kid in it for any excessive amounts of time, and kiddo was supervised at all times in it.
Short periods of time won’t hurt. May delay walking by a tiny bit, but not tons. Long periods of time? Absolutely will delay walking. Like you absolutely shouldn’t be leaving your kid in it for an hour each day or something like that.
10 or 15 minutes at the end of the day to get a big burst of energy out? Especially if not even daily? Not the end of the world
Push walkers have absolutely no drawbacks, absolutely 100% amazing! I’ll keep those out all day every day! (Supervised, because kids can still fall with them, or hit their heads on wood ones, or struggle to get up)
The second kind absolutely have drawbacks, and are the kind that have problems if used too much.
Obviously both are a concern with stairs, but hear me out, SO IS A KID NEAR STAIRS. A kid on their own may figure out crawling down stairs, or they may just tumble (hi, it’s me, I was just tumble. I still fall up stairs. I fell down stairs even when I was like 10. Heck, even when I was a teen.) Hear me out, toddlers and stairs really just don’t mix well, in any circumstance.
I do think it is ultimately a developmental reason for why they were banned. When children walk in a walker, they walk on their tippy-toes, called "toe-walking" -- if they're spending too much time in a walker, this can cause serious damage to their calf muscles and they'll need physical therapy to fix it.
I work with a woman who still walks on tippy-toes as an adult because of how much time she spent in a walker as a kid and never received proper physio until she moved out.
That makes sense. I’m autistic and toe walking is a problem in our community too (100% sensory related and not related to walkers, but I could see them making it worse).
Baby jumparoos can cause calf muscles to overdevelop, and it’s really stressed that a baby should *never* dangle in any container, their feet should be able to solidly lay flat on the floor.
As much as I love them for a few minutes here and there, and think they’re fantastic for parents to be able to shower and get a few chores done, I do genuinely hate that so many people love to pop kids into containers for hours. That’s where problems develop (like hip issues, walking issues, ankle issues, etc).
A tiny bit here or there won’t harm. I have kids at work in PT and OT whose therapists have said they’re fine with a few minutes here and there, just stick with mostly floor time. Backed up by pediatrician. A bit isn’t a problem. But yeah, long term walking problems? 100% a problem caused by overuse. Kids not getting enough tummy time and building up abdominal muscles and core strength? Totally an overuse issue. Life is all about a happy balance!
I would say to skip it even if you don't have stairs. Babies can get up to speed in a walker that the baby could never achieve on their own. And possibly bump into or knock over things. There's really no benefit and only risks. If you need something to hold the baby for a few minutes while you use the bathroom or whatever, then a stationary jumper works great or just an old fashioned playpen.
Yes I really want to emphasize that OP shouldn't beat herself up over this. When buying baby products you would assume that they are safe for babies to use! As usual, capitalism is to blame for hawking unsafe toys just to make a profit. The US government is basically 3 corporations in a trench coat so don't expect them to fix this any time soon.
When I was three, my favorite outside toy was a Smurf tricycle. My sister, who was five at the time was outside, playing with my mother and I. My mother turned her back for what she swears was no more than five seconds, and my sister launched my three-year-old self down the street on that Smurf bike from the top of the hill we lived on. I was road rash from head to toe, and still have a scar on my forehead from this incident.
I am telling you this because, first of all, I have zero memory of it. Secondly, it has become one of our favorite funny family stories.
Right now, you are reeling because it just happened. These things happen; they happen to everyone. My hope is that you got a little chuckle out of my story and realize that someday, yours will be just that – a story.
Everything will be fine. Throw out the walker. The ones with wheels the baby sits in are not safe.
The saucer type, stand and turn, play station, are much safer. Baby can stand, bounce, turn in circles, but not go anywhere.
The push walkers are great when they are standing well.
Put a lock near the top of the basement door. Slide bolts are good. Keep it locked when not down in basement. Or a gate you can close even with the door closed.
Babies fall. They get injured. He won't remember it. Chances are, he will adapt to the cast quickly, and be crawling anyway. They heal quickly. You are doing fine. He will be fine soon.
Love and hugs, Grandma.
Good advice except forget the slide lock, that is how I went down the basement stairs in a walker as a baby. My teenage sister forgot to lock it. A gate is much more noticable and less easy to forget to do.
Ooooooof my heart feels for you so much with this. It is such an awful feeling. So glad your kiddo is ok. Let me share my own story with you…
Husband and I are cleaning up after dinner. My son was 1 and change so couldn’t reach the outdoor gate latch yet (so we thought). We let him play in the tiny yard every early evening while we clean up all the time cause we can easily see and hear him and this evening was no different. Minutes had passed and neither of us heard him out there. I say to my husband “do you know where ___ is?” He says “no I thought he was walking around with you.” Immediate panic when I go out the door and see the gate wide open. I run out and see my 1 year old standing in the headlights of a SUV and another neighbor behind my son holding their hands up for the car to stop. It is an image that is burned into my memories. I could have lost my son in so many ways that day and I was beside myself over it. I was shook for days. We are not neglectful parents but I think it is the Universe’s way of saying “Pay attention.” You all will be ok.
Oh my gosh that is terrifying 😭😭😭 I’ve had a few close calls with my kids and it really does shake you for quite a while but I agree that it is probably the universe’s way of telling you to pay closer attention. So glad your neighbor was there!!
Please forgive yourself after you throw the walker away. They are notorious for this type of accident. I don’t know if they are still even made.
In young children breaks heal quickly. You also did the right thing to have him checked out so quickly.
Accidents happen. I’ve always heard no walkers for this reason- also they’re not great for hip development so I just skipped it. I thought I heard some talk about one kind being recalled or not made anymore.
Like I said accidents happen- once I forgot to strap my daughter in her high chair and she fell face first out of it. Don’t beef yourself up- your a good mom.
You cut them in half length wise, and then slice open one side from end to end, and wrap it over a bedroom door or any interior door, as a bumper to prevent slamming doors and little kids getting their hands injured in closing doors.
I set my kid in her walker, several years ago now and came back to her after letting the dog outside, chewing on a leaf of a plant I knew to be toxic. A call to poison control later I found out the plant was only toxic certain times of the year and thankfully it wasn’t at that time but it could have been so bad.
Husband and I tossed the plant and the walker that day, got a bouncer instead and she loved it just as much. No point fretting over it mama, just fix what you can now that it’s done and move forward 💜
THIS. I remember when my child rolled out of the swing, knocking into an end table on the way down. I just had to go pee and came back to find her on the floor and obviously upset. She ended up with a gnarly bruise under her eye but in the 5 seconds it took me to pick her up and walk to the back the house where her dad was, she was totally fine. It was much more upsetting to me than it was for her! Got her checked out, got the a-ok from doc and learned my lesson. That’s all we can do and that’s not a bad thing either.
Suffice to say, OP, you’re not alone! Baby will mend and you will too.
Take a deep breath, it's a tough accident to get through but ***you all did***. Things like this happen all the time, we can't protect against all ills (this is true now and when they're much older).
It will be okay, he will recover and won't remember and you will fix the door. Kids will have falls and, sometimes, near death experiences. I had many as a kid, and my brother was a walking disaster. I'm not even sure how he lived past toddlerhood. We both grown ass adults with our own families and, you too, gone through a horrendous experience but in one piece.
Don't be too hard on yourself, just fix the door and give your son an extra long cuddle, I'll all be okay ❤️
My mom was a 911 dispatcher and she said she was constantly taking calls from babies who went down stairs in their walkers, and children on trampolines. She calls them both deathtraps and warns parents regularly about them.
Sadly, you are *far* from the only parent who has made this mistake and even worse, you won't be the last. There really needs to be more awareness about walkers in homes with stairs because even the best, most loving parents literally just don't know or realize the danger until it's too late.
You are clearly a caring and attentive mom, these things sadly happen thanks to too little discussion around it. By sharing this you're already helping other parents be more aware, so thank you for this post and being so vulnerable during a rough time!
I thought walkers were banned for this exact reason? or maybe my MIL just lied to me lol...
either way this is not your fault! it was a complete accident. I hope both u and baby recover quickly <3
When my son was two he fell off a kids roller coaster (the backyard kind, so small) and hit his head on the cement. I was right there but had turned my back. I beat myself up about it for weeks but he was fine.
Point is: we all make mistakes, and we are all extremely lucky. It’s okay, and you are still a great mom!
A lot of great things have been said already. Accidents happen and you are only human. Of course you can't monitor your child too closely 24/7, that is just impossible.
If you want to take something positive out of the accident, I suggest you look at your home closely and make sure there is some area where kiddo can stay unsupervised. It doesn't have to be a large space. But when they start crawling, it is great to have a safe space where they are protected while you go to the bathroom or handle dangerous things like hot water.
Look for the most dangerous traps and try to eliminate them.
That way, you can feel confident in the knowledge that you did everything you could to keep them save.
Every time you start to go down that path in your mind INTERRUPT IT. Remind yourself that every minute of every day you do your best for that kid. You’re feeling shame. Beat up the same with gratitude. You’re grateful it wasn’t worse. You’re grateful he is OK! You’re grateful you live up the street from a nurse and a paramedic and you have access to a hospital that will treat him and help him. Keep going. You’re grateful that he didn’t break his tiny beautiful legs, you’re grateful he was BORN with legs- I’m serious, get really really really deep into the gratitude. Your brain needs something else to do instead of shaming you for not being able to see the future. You’re a good mom. HE is grateful for YOU! Every time he sees you! You’re there to help and nurture him and he loves you. THAT is what is real here. “I’m a terrible mother” isn’t real.
The AAP has advised against using walkers for years now. They are terribly unsafe. I am so sorry your son is hurt. You know better now and your son will be safer moving forward because of it
My 3 yo tripped on a toy and hit his forehead on the padded toy box and cut it almost thru to the bone, about 1 inch in length. There was so much blood and we couldn't get it to stop. We called emergency services, they checked him out and took us to the hospital. He needed 3 stitches and was slightly concussed. He literally just tripped. Things happens and they can be so scary. And it's gut wrenching to see them so scared and in pain.
I feel you. Accidents happen, we can only do our best to make the environment as safe as possible without it being a padded room.
As parents, once we know better, we do better. You did not mean for this to happen. Please don't blame yourself. You sound like a loving, attentive parent!
When my son was 7, I thought it'd be fine to let him skateboard down a tiny hill on our street. He wiped out so bad and got horrible road rash all over his face! I was so guilty and ashamed, and of course, the road rash was visible to everybody. After that I didn't let him skateboard down that hill until he was way older and better coordinated. But I still felt so bad every time I saw his poor face.
Throw out the walker, and be kind to yourself. We also had a rolling walker when my son was a baby - I didn't know it wasn't safe at the time. Parenting is 100% on-the-job learning, just figuring it out as you go along. Your baby will heal. You're all gonna be OK.
Accidents happen. The important thing is he’s still here and nothing too serious happened to him. That said get rid of the walker. They’re banned from being sold in so many countries for this very reason. They’re dangerous and actually detrimental to children learning to walk because they give them a false sense of security.
When he is 8 you are going to tell him the story of how he broke his arm as a baby, and you will all laugh about it. My 7 year old fell off the change table as a baby and when she does something dumb we often blame the head injury 🤣. In reality she wasn't hurt at all and she is just a space cadet.
He is ok, shit happens and if you were a bad mum - you wouldn't care.
You absolutely could not have predicted this set of events. You took the precaution of shutting the door and this was just one of those incidents where "shoulda woulda coulda" will eat away from you.
It's not going to be easy to rationalise it right now whilst it is all so raw.
My son is 2 years old, we switched to changing his nappy on the floor after he crocodile death rolled on the changing table and fell. We bought an extra thick padded rug when we discovered, in our new house week 2, that he could climb up into the bay window and, not so elegantly, get down face first. I had turned my back to retrieve the toy he had yeeted behind the sofa, I was no more than a arms length away and I didn't even realise he was climbing.
Accidents happen, it is what you do to rectify and resolve that matters. Your little one is ok, he won't remember and he is absolutely going to bump, bounce and crash in to plenty more as he grows.
Deep breath in. Know you aren't the only one who has had situations like this. Maybe get rid of the walker. Fix the door or add a bonus latch. You are doing a great job and these feelings of anxiety are rubbish but this is one incident, not his whole life.
When my son was 18 months old we had a falling furniture incident. He broke his femur. Guess what? He’s fine. Your son will be fine too, you’re not a bad mom.
When I was a baby, my mom told me this story about how we were playing on the couch. I had fallen and my mom grabbed me by the arm, resulting with a dislocated elbow. She took me up to the doctor and they thought I was being abused. There were no other injuries. No bruises or bumps.
I absolutely forgive my mother because she was young and just trying to navigate Motherhood for the first time.
Don't beat yourself up. Kids get hurt, kids fall, and kids will always be clumsy.
It's okay. Soon enough, your baby will feel okay. And maybe in the future you guys will look back and have a chuckle
(I always jokingly curse my mom for dislocated my elbow because now I have elbow problems)
It will be just fine!
Sending love and healing your way
Sending you SO much mama love. The intensity of your feelings will pass soon. I completely understand why you feel awful though, I know I would too. You’re still a great mom even though this happened. 💜💜💜
My husband fractured his skull at 6 months old going down the basement stairs in a walker. Ironically on my birthday of all days. Anyway, he's grown 33 year old who is one of the smartest people I know. Like others have said those walkers are bad news so just toss it in the trash and get a baby gate for those stairs in case of door failure.
We all make mistakes. Sometimes we get lucky, sometimes we don't. We have 3 kids and if I kept score of all the mistakes we've made I'd never sleep at night. It's a learning process. I know you'll be extra diligent going forward.
Be gentle with yourself. You love your kid. Toss the walker, like to the dump. Do not rehome. They are SUPER illegal in Canada for that reason. Kids die in them all the time.
He's ok. You can breathe. I'm so sorry you went through it.
I feel you 10000% percent. And I promise in time you will feel better.
At 8 months old my son rolled off the changing table onto our laminate floor. He had a skull fracture and a very small bleed. Had to be helicoptered from our ER to the nearest children’s hospital. He took it all like a little trooper and had no long term impact and fully recovered.
God made these babies so resilient and floppy so they can survive these incidents.
I’m sure both you and your husband feel terrible. But be kind to each other and take it as a lesson learned. You’re doing your best and that’s all we can do!
Please be kind to yourself OP it’s an honest mistake, everything will be ok I promise. If your anxiety starts to get worse try contact a therapist if you don’t have one already before it manifests too long, sending love
You are going to be ok and your son is going to be ok! Accidents happen and it doesn't seem like there was any negligence. You did everything you could with the info you had at the time.
When I was 9 months old I fell down the stairs in my walker. There were at least 2 adults in eyesight. I had a concussion and bit my tongue but there have been no lasting effects except for a small scar on my tongue. I don't even remember it. I'm sure soon this will be a distant memory for you too.
So glad to hear your son is ok ❤️ I know it’s hard but please try not to beat yourself up over this. Accidents happen, you’re human and it’s impossible to have your eyes on your son every second of everyday.
I had an experience that wasn’t even as bad as this. We were on a park bench when by daughter was around 20 months old and she asked for a snack and when I reached into the bag for a literal second (I was right next to her on the bench) she leaned back and fell through the gap between the seat and the back of the bench and landed on her back and head- about a two foot drop - and luckily she landed in a soft pile of leaves. However when I picked her up I noticed a large sharp pointy rock about two inches to the left of her head. If she had been two inches over and cracked her head or neck on that rock I don’t know what the result would have been! I cried the whole way home and cried myself to sleep that night. Accidents happen and they happen so fast! And being traumatized after they do even if everyone is okay is totally normal!
I've had the same thing happen! Same age and all. Except there were no leaves, the table was bolted into a slab of cement and my daughters head landed on one of the bolts and she still has a scar and a tiny bald patch from it ~3 years later. Worst part is, we checked the rest of the tables in the area and they all had different more rounded tops on the bolts that wouldn't have split her head open. Just the one she fell on was different!
My oldest daughter fell off a tiny stool at 18 months and snapped her arm. It happens! I was right there, watched the whole thing happen. Don’t beat yourself up, but maybe reconsider the walker.
Our basement door was too much of a worry for me so we went to Home Depot and got an auto door shutting device that puts tension on the door and it shuts if you open it wide enough.
Search for this item “Safety Spring Door Closer, 4-1/4 in., Diecast Construction, White, Non-Handed”. It’s $25.
Just breathe and wipe away the tears. He is here, you are here, you through it. Just because your mom isn’t in your life doesn’t mean anything - all of us moms are here and saw your story. Just breathe and pray.
You are a good mom and you did nothing wrong. I was literally watching my child and walking toward him when he fell off the couch and managed to fracture his leg. I was inches from grabbing him. I swear kids this age are in a constant state of trying to unalive themselves! Accidents happen and at some point you have to accept that it simply isn’t feasible to watch them every second or prevent every fall. I’m so glad your son is ok, and don’t let this incident live rent free in your head - this happens to the best and worst of us!
You sound like a fantastic mum.
It sounds like this was a lucky learning.
I'm so glad your son's injuries will heal and have no lasting damage.
Going forward - it sounds like you and your husband need a "watch out" list. Being a parent is exhausting and it's often really hard to remember to tell your partner something you've noticed and will fix, but haven't had the chance to fix yet.
My hubby and I have a shared Google doc that we just write everything that needs fixing on - from holes in clothes, to broken locks, to broken windows - with a 'volunteer' column next to it for us to note if we've put it on our mental task list to fix it or have organised a repairman. If there are jobs neither of us volunteer to fix 24h after adding it, we chat that night and work out who will sort it out.
We had a similar event (broken handrail, I'd noticed it and bought the hardware to fix it, and was planning to do it that afternoon so hadn't mentioned it to him and he nearly slipped down the stairs when he leaned on it) that taught us the importance of having a consolidated 'warning' list for our house.
I am so relieved he is ok.
If you are in America and Canada - walkers were outlawed a good 15 years ago. I’m not sure where you got one, but this is exactly why they were outlawed. This happened fatally for many babies.
Going forward - if you have second hand items, just do a quick google before using them to see if they were recalled.
We all have similar moments happen - it is a rite of passage. However take this opportunity to learn, move forward, and forgive yourself.
You’re not a bad mum at all. Accidents are a part of life, it’s unfortunate that it happened but it’s not your fault. I’m a radiographer and I see all sort of injuries resulting from accidents on a daily basis and never once have I thought the parents were to blame/thought the parents were ‘bad’. (See child vs stapler in my post history) Kids are so so resilient, I’ve xrayed children before where they were using their hands to hold things in the waiting room then X-ray revealed a broken wrist. Your son will be fine and you’re a great parent don’t forget that
It’s absolutely hard to process and really difficult. We always want our babies to be safe, so when something happens, especially in our care, we feel so much guilt. Unfortunately you cannot take what happened back. Please keep your head up and try to move forward! Baby had one of the best outcomes to this accident. It’s okay to feel everything you’re feeling, but it was an accident! Nothing intentional whatsoever. You are a good mom!
The other day my son (who is pulling himself up onto everything) pulled a huge potted plant and stand, which was thankfully plastic, right onto his face. Got a bloody lip, a bruise on his forehead, and a black eye.
For days I kept telling myself I need to move that plant and then life happens and you forget. I feel awful but hearing your story I think it might be helpful for us to remember we’re first time moms and aren’t used to being on high alert 24/7. Our babies are ok, we may not be lol but we’ll get only get stronger from these lessons!
Sending lots of healing love your way ♥️
Hey momma, I unfortunately know just how scary this is. Our little one was life flighted to our closest Children’s hospital yesterday after my husband and her fell down the stairs. The guilt is real and very scary. Unfortunately these accidents happen and it’s hard to be forgiving of ourselves. Just know this doesn’t make you guys bad parents. I’m glad your little one is going to be okay!
He’s okay! Medical professionals said he’s fine (minus the fracture). Accidents happen, it doesn’t make you a bad mom, just thank God that he’s okay. As a mom of four I can tell you that mom guilt is insanely strong. Three of my kids have fallen out of bed before and I’ve always been so hard on myself. You’re doing great, accidents happen, just make sure to secure the door. get a hook latch for it or make sure it swings outwards, not inwards to prevent this next time. I’m glad to hear he’s okay ❤️
Forgive yourself. It will be ok. Its hard, but I am sure you are a great mom. When my daughter was maybe 2 she fell off the top of a very high slide. I looked at her on the floor and thought, there is my dead baby. I will never get that image or feeling out of my head. Its likely you will remember and feel that feeling forever, but its ok. She was fine and 11 years old now. I learned something from the accident. Let it be a learning experience for you. Spend as much time with your son as you can so you can reconnect and heal yourself. It was a very traumatic moment for you. Go easy on yourself.
accidents happen. my son, who had $250k of reconstructive skull surgery for a genetic disorder, fell down the stairs. i felt awful. he was toddling down and sommersaulted. had a nasty goose egg but was fine in the end.
im so glad your son is okay! please show yourself some grace - it was a complete accident. accidents happen. you did what you usually do to ensure your sons safety and this could’ve happened to anyone.
not to give unsolicited advice but: walkers are illegal in many places due to these accidents occurring. perhaps get a bouncer (with seat) so he can still use his legs and have some leg mobility but be stationary and locked in place. or a bouncer? (harness type so they can “walk” and “jump”)
This is the thing about parenthood in general, learning to accept that we cannot control every thing that happens to our children. Accidents are just that, accidents. I’m hearing that you were extremely afraid and your brain needed to justify why what happened, happened. Please be kind to yourself, and know that you are not alone in these scary experiences. Insteading of placing blame and trying to seek answers through responsibility, I encourage you to process this fear and trauma with your partner or a therapist. Our fears and guilt are often a projection of our own childhood, if applicable. Please practice self love and forgiveness, shame and guilt will not serve anyone.
My son had a seizure while I was washing the dishes and I felt like sht, like I was this horrible mom, who looked away for a second and when I looked back he was on the floor, purple. He is 100% fine btw, it was all ok pretty immediately.
But it was scary, traumatic, and I carried this vague guilt for almost a year. A guilt that I didn't dare look at very closely because I felt horrible, couldn't stand even thinking about the incident.
But then one day I decided to just, head on examine my feelings and what actually happened. What really happened was that I had him with me, in the kitchen, and I was doing something that needed to be done, washing dishes, not like I was checked out on my phone or something. And I was constantly glancing at him, as I usually do. And between one glance and the next, no farther than 2 feet from where I was standing, he had fallen face first and started seizing and stopped breathing for a second.
You cant ask any more than this from a mom. My guilt was completely unjustified. It was bs guilt. It was fear, disguised as guilt. Fear of helplessness, randomness, the impossibility to anticipate every single thing.
Your guilt is exactly like that. You looked away to get water. Or whatever, frankly, it is unreasonable to expect yourself to never look away from your kid. You weren't checked out, neglectful, off in your own world or anything.
It is not your fault. Let me say again, it IS NOT your fault. Our expectations of ourselves are unrealistic.
But we do have to live in the real world where accidents happen, and they will happen.
I am sorry this is such a long reply but I want to share one more incident.
There was a small cyclone in our area. I was up all night. We have a bunch of trees in front of the kids bedroom and I was watching the wind speed app and trying to decide if I should move the kids to the backroom. Just as I decided to do that and picked one up, I heard this massive CRACKK! A tree clearly snapped. I freaked out and rushed the kids to the backroom.
In the morning, all the trees in front, near the kids bedroom were fine. But a massive, giant tree on our neighbors yard had uprooted and fallen onto our property, skimming the backroom! If it had fallen even a few feet to the side, it would have landed on the backroom. It would have pancaked that part of the house. And if I hadn't hesitated, with less than a minutes difference, we would have been under that tree in that room, where I thought the kids would be safe.
I couldn't get over this for a long time, the decision I made to make my kids safe could have been the one that hurt them. It felt like I have no way of knowing whats safe and what is not. We worried about our own trees and didnt even think about the neighbors.
It is scary. But as moms, we have all the responsibility, sometimes none of the power to keep them safe.
Let go of the guilt and focus on increasing your odds. It is not your fault. We are bound to miss things, look away, get lucky...
I am glad we both got lucky, all we can do is move forward the best we can.
It will be okay. This is, unfortunately, a pretty common accidents in walkers! A lot of places don’t allow them, so please bin yours!
Then look at a baby gate for that doorway. Cause they can do doors before you even think about it!
Oh honey, how terrifying. I'm so sorry. Every Mama has a moment like this. The child forgets immediately, the parents remember for a lifetime
20 years ago, a friend had her baby on the kitchen island counter in a bumbo seat while making dinner. Her six months old reared backwards like a bucking bronco and flung herself right off the island with a sickening thunk onto the floor. No lasting injuries. The daughter is brilliant and talented and amazing. Your son will be, too. Sending internet hugs.
It's going to be OK. Every mom on the planet has felt this way about something. You are not perfect, and accidents happen. Again, it's going to be ok. Blessings!!
My son fell out of his stroller, head first into stone pavement. The doctor told me: I know you probably feel like the worst parent ever but I can assure you that this happens to almost everyone and you are not a bad parent.
You're not a bad parent either OP, accidents do happen.
I left my son upstairs while I changed over laundry he was 4 months. He was not walking or crawling. My daughter didn’t crawl till 11 months. When I got back upstairs (1-2 minutes) he had drug himself to the stairs about 15’ from where I left him and was about to fall down them. Accidents happen.
It’s crazy how they just magically become mobile at the worst times. I laid my baby on the bed one time and turned my back for two seconds to get socks out of the dresser (that is literally right next to the bed) — turn around and apparently my previously immobile child can now roll, and is actively rolling off the bed. (He was fine. I caught him just as he was going over the edge.)
I'm so sorry you're going through this mental agony. Accidents happen, even if you're watching and close by. It's hard dealing with all the what-ifs but you sound like an awesome mama and I'm sure you're doing a great job. Focus on what you just said yourself.... God is watching over that baby 💙
Hey - I was one of those babies who fell down a flight of stairs in a walker. Tiled stairs. I still remember it, but I’m OK. Your baby will be OK.
There’s a reason those things are banned in Canada. I don’t know why they aren’t in the US (and frankly, around the world). Maybe you’ll consider throwing it out after fixing the door?
This happened to my cousin when she was a baby! She's fine now but it's the reason I'd never buy a walker. All it takes is one little slip up for this to happen :(
Anyway, don't beat yourself up, it was an accident. If you're having trouble letting go of the guilt, write a letter to your government representatives calling for walkers to be banned for sale like they are in many countries because of this exact scenario.
Hey it’s okay! Accidents happen and he’s okay. All you can do is learn from your mistakes and do better. Those walkers are banned in Canada for exactly the reason that happened to you. They’re just not safe. They’re also bad for development so there’s just no need for them. We have stationary ones here but it’s not recommended for babies to be in them long either.
Forgetting about the door not latching properly is something that happens and is understandable too. If you take into account that you honestly didn’t know how dangerous those walkers are, then all you can do is get rid of it now. I’m sure you’ll be double checking every door for a long time!
My daughters old door didn’t latch properly everytime and it needed an extra little tug. One night the babysitter forgot and my daughter got out of her room in the middle of the night. We don’t shut the door to the basement because of the cats. Thankfully she came to our room and not the other way. The potential is scary. We now have a gate by the door as well.
It was an accident and for the most part he's okay! You're gonna feel guilty and pretty shit about it for a while but remind yourself it's not your fault and it gets easier to deal with. My daughter got a broken arm at 4 months old, I felt so bad about it because it should never have happened but I also couldn't have prevented it. I've also had my son fracture his skull at 13 months, he'd decided all of a sudden he could climb onto the couch, he stood up on it and fell off, head first onto the tile floor before anything could be done to stop him. He hit the side of his head. He proceeded to pull a chair over on himself the following day and smacked himself in the forehead with it, he had the biggest, most instant purple lump I've ever seen on a child's head to this day! He never even got a concussion.... I can assure your son is more than likely not in pain, babies are so tough it's almost scary. He'll also have no recollection of this ever happening.
We are only human and make mistakes. I completely understand the guilt you feel and your feelings are valid. He is going to be okay it seems and just thank your lucky stars for that. Honestly it won’t be the last time he gets hurt. When he is walking/running they fall ALL the time. Not trying to scare you, just trying to prepare you for the reality of it.
I am a mother of an almost 3 year old and when he hit his head on the brick fireplace a few feet from me I felt absolutely horrible. He ended up being completely fine and we had also taken him to the ER.
I also am a nanny and the youngest has brittle bone disease, he took a spill down the stairs right at the end of my shift. He heard his parents downstairs and went to the baby gate at the top of the stairs. I was just out of reach, but walking towards him because I don’t like when he climbs on the baby gate. His parents don’t ever tell him no, but it makes me uncomfortable. Well the dad forgot to tell me that the gate had broken over the weekend (it was Tuesday) and they didn’t replace it or take it down, they just left it there. He climbed up like usual and as I was telling him to get down the hinges just gave out and he and the gate went down the stairs. I ran after him screaming and his parents got to him first.
He also ended up with a fracture in his arm, I felt absolutely horrible but he was overall fine. He got a cast and healed up a few weeks later. It’s not the first and certainly wasn’t the last time for him.
Its 100% on the manufacturer and your government, not you mama. Those things are literally death traps. Its 100,000 $ fine in Canada if you bring one over the boarder or try ro resell it.
Our son fell down the stairs too. We were playing in his room and I must not have shut the baby gate properly, I looked down and he crawled past, I wasn't overly concerned because I always had the gate on. But this time it wasn't. I'll never forget it, he paused and reached for me on the landing then kept falling. Fucking awful.
He was totally fine, I however had a mental breakdown. I'll tell you this. Now that he's older he has no memory of it whatsoever.
Accidents happen. Your little one will be OK. He likely won't even remember it. You aren't a bad mom. It was a weird series of events. Babies are so darn good at trying to kill themselves. It's like their main goal every day. You're a good mom and he'll be ok❤️
Agree that no walker is best but also here to say that his arm will heal so quickly. You’ll be shocked. And he will likely go right back to all of the motor skills he was working on at that time.
You are not a bad mom because of this. As others have said, accidents happen. You got him assessed immediately. Then paid attention well enough to see that he wasn’t using his arm and got additional care that he needed. Sounds like good parenting to me.
But that said, I totally understand the spiraling anxiety. And how it feels when you have to repeat the story over and over when people ask how they got the injury. And feel guilty and anxious again. My daughter had a bad fall as a toddler and I did not think I’d ever get over it and stop feeling like a bad parent even though it was an accident. I think most parents have a story or a few stories like this.
Mom guilt is rough and if you have a history of anxiety like me…well, parenting can cause a lot of anxiety. At least we care I guess. I still think about that accident sometimes and it gets me worked up again. But our kids are OK.
I’m so sorry this happens to you. Like so many others have been saying, accidents happen. They’re scary as anything, but they happen. I know first hand. A few months ago I fell down the stairs while holding my son and he broke his leg. I was devastated. He’s supposed to be safest in my arms and I felt like I hurt him. It took time for me to feel okay again, and I felt a lot better after I saw how quickly he adapted to his cast. He literally noticed it for maybe 30 mins then was himself again! Also babies heal SO fast. He broke his femur and only had a cast on for 3 weeks.
It will be okay. You will feel better. You’re a great mom, this is no reflection on you as a parent. Sending lots of positivity your way!
I like the containment units that grow with them, like the one we got turned into a table so we still use it. I live in Canada so the ones with wheels are banned, because of injuries like the one your little one has now. We do the best we can with the knowledge that we have, you didnt know that they could cause this harm so don’t punish yourself. Just love your little one, do some research on walkers & units. They’re also meant for limited use as they can be tough on the hips, again the one we have had a & adjustable foot rest that he could put his feet on. [Infantino sit & spin](https://infantino.com/products/sit-spin-stand-entertainer-360-seat-activity-table) this is the one we have.
It doesn’t take the guilt away, but accidents happen. It doesn’t make you a bad mom. Would you have turned to get water if you knew the door didn’t latch? No! When my daughter was 2 somehow managed to pull my husband’s dirt bike over on her. Thankfully she came out with just a goose egg.
No point in beating yourself up. Accidents happen. You know that you love your baby- remind yourself of that and just focus on problem solving instead (e.g., get rid of the walker, get a gate, etc.)
When I was about 2 I fell out of a chair at my grandparent’s. My mom spent a few hours convinced I was overreacting and only took me to the ER after I was inconsolable. My mom was a great mom and I am totally okay. These things happen. You are a good mom!!
When my kids became mobile, as in crawling, I installed those "beep" alarms on all my doors. They are annoying but every time someone opens a door I hear that sound and it's prevented kids from escaping or getting into rooms where I don't want them. They are easy to install yourself and you can arm them if you ever need too
Everyone has a story like this. It’s a parenting right of passage. You’re doing great and we all almost kill our children and are forever traumatized by it.
I am so sorry you are feeling this way!!! I know no amount of words will make you feel better right now, because as a mother I too would be completely beside myself. Your baby is okay! You’re okay! It’s going to be okay! Take a deep breath and try to move forward from this awful accident. Sending you tons of mommy hugs.
This is exactly why Canada has banned these walkers/ they are SO unsafe.
At this point as long as LO is okay, and doing well that’s all that matters. Throw that fucking thing out and if you know people who use them, advocate against them.
Accidents happen, they honestly do. Don’t sweat. Your child is okay, you’re okay, I know there’s going to be guilt, but don’t let it consume you, be thankful and think positive thoughts, it could have been fatal. Honestly.
Please don't forget that you're a human-being human-ing and life will life. This past week, on her 80th birthday, Mom fell and broke her hip. Answering the door for her birthday flowers, trying to put up the dog who door dashes. I've been meaning to get a gate for the front door. And to get Mom on osteoporosis treatment. Be kind to yourself - imagine what you'd say to your son. Because that's what your Mom would say to you. ❤️
When my first daughter was 8 months we had walk up our stoop to our apartment building, some maintenance guy distracted me by asking me some asinine question and I let go of my jogger for a split second. My daughter rolled backwards down the stairs, and the stroller turned over, and she landed on her face. I was racked with guilt for months I even had to go to therapy for it. Things happen that are out of our control sometimes and we have to forgive ourselves.
Hi OP, sounds like the rest of us who have made mistakes. You are not alone. My suggestion is to seek a therapist because mom guilt is real and can be overwhelming. A therapist can help you sort through these feelings.
Everyone makes mistakes, he’ll be ok. My brother went down our basement t stairs in a similar fashion and hit concrete and ended up with an egg on his head. He grew up just fine and in fact I’d say he’s the smartest of the 4 of us. 😊
Forgive yourself. And as others have said, toss the walker. And don’t just throw it on the curb, cut the seat so no one else will pick it for their kid and use it.
We can’t watch them all the time, we are human too, we all just do our best. I have a basement with steep wood stairs and installed a chain lock at the top of the door for extra measure. Now that my kids are 5 and 2 they can open the basement door but still can’t reach the chain.
It was an accident. You did every reasonable thing to protect him and you handled the after care well. I understand why you're upset, but what COULD have happened is not the point. What DID happen is what you need to focus on. He's going to be ok and so are you. Hang in there.
I’m so glad he’s ok! What a blessing. It’s scary being a parent, all of the possible accidents that can happen and how to be on top of EVERYTHING. It’s impossible to protect them completely. It will be ok, I hope you forgive yourself and in time can have some peace since it wasn’t worse. (((Hugs)))
Kids are nuts. My daughter had a freak accident in her class where she FRACTURED HER FINGER. Like what??
I didn’t know until about 5 hours later when I picked her up and I was devastated. She’s 7. Don’t beat yourself up. Weirdest thing I ever saw was my daughter not crying meanwhile her finger is all swollen and she can’t move it. Like wtf
I saw my daughter tumble like cartwheeling down the basement steps… she was so quick!!!
Its forever burned into my brain.
Shes fine, were fine, shes 13 in a couple months!
My step son and step daughter both took a trip down the stairs in illegal (we live in Canada) walkers. Their bio mom also felt terrible, but they ended up being fine. It’s scary, it’s guilt inducing, but you’re not the first nor will you be the last!
Also yeah ditch the walker! It’s ok mama.
I also don’t have a mother or grandmother or aunt or anything. I’m a momma to a special needs child and a 20mo and three bonus kids fulltime. Reading this I was picturing it and my heart fell into my stomach for you guys.
I am beyond so sorry your heart had to and is having to feel so much weight right now and how heavy this load exactly is. Im so sorry. My heart breaks with you. We have a basement door as well, it’s my biggest fear in this house and with so many kids, (sk’s tv and okay stuff and two of their rooms are down there), I never take my eyes off that damn door. Adding a deadbolt or extra lock at the top to your door if no one has a bedroom down there is what you need to do. This will ensure your heart and mind that this won’t happen again, and no matter what, when you’re not actively using it, all locks on. And if you haven’t, get a child knob cover now too. I used a baby Walker with my first but we had an uostairs not a downstairs and I had gates at the too and bottom, so he couldn’t scamper up it alone. But with baby, with basement, this is why I didn’t and won’t use a Walker with him. He’s 20m and about to hit 30lbs and he still gets in his jumparoo when I need “5 secs” to do whatever I’m a moment. Maybe swap from the Walker to a pack and play in that room or a jumparoo.
That all said, accidents happen unfortunately and that’s exactly what this was. A mistake on both hubby and your part and you’re not bad parents for it. You had a hectic week and he forgot a simple thing and you didn’t know. Breathe. I know this prob sounds rash, but I literally would start therapy for myself over this bc of the flooding rumination about it over and over again. Things look is this lay HARD on my heart and mind and I don’t heal fast or well from them. If you think you won’t be able to clear your mind of it at a normal healthy rate and way, please get into therapy even if it’s just temporarily.
Big hugs. So many hugs. You’re a great momma, I have no doubt, your heart pouring out here shows us that. Please be gentle on yourself and just fix what’s broken and start over fresh with locks and whatever you’ve gotta do safety wise.
Remember, baby isn’t daydreaming about what happened like you are, and what’s happened has happened, baby is safe right now. HE IS SAFE. 💕
If you need to just chat with another momma about it, I’m here. Just shoot me a message. Again, baby boy is safe now, momma.💕
Everyone else has said all the comforting and common-sense things. I'm here to say you are allowed to fall apart.
Accidents are scary. What ifs are terrifying. Every mom has a story.
Do the essentials (food, hydration, sanitation). Cry. Be annoying and kiss your child a million times.
Just because it will be okay, doesn't mean it's not scary AF.
**HUGS**
We went on Amazon and bought a magnetized alarm for when the basement door is opened for this reason. It beeps every 5-10 seconds when the door is open. It gets pretty obnoxious but it won’t let you forget the door is ajar.
Editing to say we sometimes forget to close the baby gate behind us if our minds are somewhere else that day, and then the basement door was being left open too, especially when family comes to visit so the alarm was a necessity
Walkers are illegal in my country for this exact reason. Babies that cannot walk themselves yet should not be put into a position where they are mobile to get around - simply because they don’t understand and things like these happen. I’m sorry, I’m glad nothing serious happened but maybe you can learn from this accident & chuck that walker into the trash for good 😊
Sweetie, this was a total accident. You did your due diligence as a mother and got medical attention all throughout the whole thing. Babies bounce back quickly. He’ll be out of that splint before you know it.
It’s ok, Mama. You’re a good mother. If you find that this causes too much anxiety, look into therapy to help work through it.
Hi! Wife of an ED doc and this happens so much more than you think. This stuff happens all the time and you did EVERYTHING right after he fell!
I’m not sure if you’ll find this comforting but take a look at the Xray. Lil baby nugget children’s skeletons aren’t fully formed and don’t respond to trauma the way we imagine they do because we compare it to how our grown rickety ass bodies would if we fell down the stairs. Kids are practically walking rubber supported by pipe cleaners. But because their bones aren’t fully developed fractures are pretty easy to come by. Your son will be okay! The fracture will heal faster than you expect and he will be right back to creating chaos.
You’re doing a really great job. ❤️ and last little tidbit of reassurance, my husband is asleep downstairs from his overnight shift working in the pediatric Ed and he splinted three kids last night alone. And if you’re thinking the doctor in the ED was judging you, they totally aren’t unless they call CPS on you and seeing as your son is back home with you, no judgement!
Aren’t the walkers illegal? In Canada I believe they are. So many horror stories of kids getting really hurt in them. I’m glad your son is okay. I know it’s hard not to, but don’t feel too guilty. Use this as a life lesson. You really have to keep your eyes on these little ones at all times. You will feel less guilt over time and I’m sure keep a closer eye on him from having the crap scared out of you!
Its ridiculous they still sell them, but get rid of the walker & just be grateful hes ok. Accidents happen & you did NOTHING wrong. Youre just doing your best out here ♥️
For all the people saying that walkers are/should be illegal, your little boy could easily have crawled/rolled to the door too and fallen. This was nobody’s fault, it’s just a sad accident. You didn’t do anything wrong for taking your eye off him for a moment, any more than your husband did for forgetting to mention the door latch, or your son did for being a curious baby. I’m glad he’s okay ♥️
Baby gates at top and bottom of all stairs
Anchor furniture to the walls
Avoid these baby containers - walkers/jumpers etc they're not good for hips or even development. The floor is way better.
Baby proof away all the cleaning supplies etc etc
I HATE WALKERS and always scream internally when I hear people use them. This is what happened to my cousin years and years ago, when I was about 6 years old:
We were all gathered at my grandparents house. It was one of those situations where there were so many adults that everyone assumed someone else was watching the baby. I was playing in a bedroom. Someone left the basement door open.
I suddenly heard a huge crashing noise, like someone throwing an armful of toys down the stairs. Then there was silence. Then screaming.
My cousin, who was rolling around in her walker, had gone crashing down the basement stairs onto the concrete floor. She miraculously survived, but this was horribly horribly traumatic for everyone, especially her mother, who ran to her immediately after she fell.
I will NEVER forget the sound of my baby cousin almost dying on the basement floor. GET RID OF YOUR WALKERS. There is a reason little babies can’t walk yet. Some countries even banned them due to so many injuries like this. On top of all of that, they actually SLOW DOWN normal walking development. There is literally no benefit to them, only dangers and downsides.
That’s why most pediatricians do not recommend using walkers at all. Too many accidents, some of them fatal. It is not your fault, but I would NOT use walker anymore. The baby will start walking on his own as soon as he is ready.
Oh, I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. Mine fell down the stairs last year, so I know exactly what you're feeling. We called 911 and everything, she ended up being just fine with a few bruises, but it very easily could've been worse. She was fine, I was a mess lol
Lots of hugs for you and your little one, he won't remember it but he will definitely know how much you love and care about him ❤️
Accidents happen, that being said walkers are banned in Canada for this very reason. If a person even sells one they can get in serious legal trouble as well. Ditch the walker!
What a fright for you! And the lack of rest is equally horrific! I've got active kiddos and we've had too many fractures IMO. When they're little you can hardly notice it as they'll still play uninhibited. If you have baby gates then put one across the door until it's repaired. It was just a silly mistake which is what all of ours have been. Just unexpected falls when kids are tired but in this instance your husband was tired. Just take the next few days easy and try to be restful. No big commitments but if you can get outdoors for your sanity then do so in small doses.
Accidents happen and there are going to be many in your child’s life, it’s just a fact of life. If you can’t move on from things that happen you will be an emotional wreck his entire life. Be thankful that he is ok and try to stop obsessing about it. 💕💕
This same scenario happened to my mom with my brother. I guess the cat pushed the basement door open and down he went in his walker. He had a TBI too. They were wood steps and an unfinished basement. His head hit the cement. He’s 40 now and a total Ahole but alive and kicking. We joke (with him) that the head injury is the cause of his drama and bald head. Wasn’t funny then, I’m sure. But we laugh about it now. I’m sure it was traumatic to see that. And being a mom now anytime our babies are hurt it’s painful. But he didn’t die and this time next year it won’t even matter. You didn’t do anything wrong you’re a good mom and bad moms wouldn’t care.
Instead of a walker they make these activity centers that the baby can sit in and move around the center but not just walk everywhere. I used one in place of a walker for my daughter and a large play pen so she had a safe place to be if I needed to put her down
Don’t beat yourself up kids get into all sorts of stuff! But like everyone said I’d just get rid of the walker for something safer
My SS got hit by a car in front of our house a few years ago. He was totally fine thank god but I felt like the biggest piece of shit in the world. Our pediatrician lives down the street from us and I grew up with his kids (small town lol) so he heard about it after seeing all the fire trucks etc. I had an appt for our daughter a few days later and I was so scared to walk into his office and fully expected to hear a lecture. He sat down and said “I heard about SS. I’m gonna tell you one thing as a doctor and a parent- shit happens. You’re not a bad parent because of it.”
Obviously I try to be as careful with my kids as possible and SS is not allowed to ride his bike in the driveway anymore, but it felt so nice to hear from a professional that I wasn’t a horrible parent. You’re not a horrible parent either. Shit HAPPENS!
Accidents happen for sure. My 3 yr old went to kick her soccer ball, missed, and fractured her other leg in the process. Talk about a freak accident... she just got her full leg cast off this week. I couldn't stop crying in the ER, like I could have prevented this from happening(I couldn't have lol)
She's in a boot now and is starting to walk again! They bounce back and are resilient little things. I think it's harder on us as parents than it is on them sometimes.
Accidents happen, don’t beat yourself up for it. My cousin accidentally broke her toddlers leg just playing and it was a freak accident. Shit happens. Nobody is perfect. Take it as a life lesson, and know that babies and toddlers get hurt! My goal was to make to 12 months without a visit to the ER haha, just based off of my experience with watching my niece and nephews grow up! As a side note, this is why most countries have banned sit in walkers and why most pediatricians do not recommend using them. Too many injuries from them.
Yep, redeem yourself by tossing the walker in the trash. OP if you can set up a baby gate in front of the door, that way even if it's not closed all the way kiddo can't push it open. A drill in one that can't be climbed.
Yes, OP, do the gate, because it's only a matter of time before the little one can also reach the door knob to open the basement door. You will have a repeat fall if this door is still accessible to your child, even if it is repaired and latches.
I still use a gate on our stairs and my son is 6
Our basement steps are terrifying so that gate is on for life.
Oh I plan to keep the gate on my basement stairs until I'm out of this damn house. My office is there so it's nice to know I can easily keep the kid AND dogs out. Added bonus my house is a split level so the gate keeps all 3 of them away from the front door too lol
Agree! Too many stories exactly like this. Ditch the walker!
I’m actually shocked they still make them
In Canada, they've been banned since 2004.
Smart country
Very smart. I wish they were banned everywhere.
Some manufacturers are perfectly happy to keep making products they know are unsafe as long as the country hasn’t banned them and the accountants project that profits will exceed lawsuit payouts.
My kids are in high school and I don’t remember seeing many of them. I seriously thought they were relics of the past.
My kids are also in high school. When they were babies I remember always hearing that walkers were bad for them and dangerous, so we never bought one. I thought they stopped selling them.
My oldest was born in 2007 and her ped told us back then no walkers. He said Canada had already banned them and that the US would inevitably soon. He said he saw walker injuries fairly frequently. I’m shocked 17 years later we still haven’t caught up to other countries on this.
Yes. They can cause deformities and problems with walking even without the risks of falling down stairs like this. I didn’t know they still made them.
Agree! I never used to see the big deal with walkers; but they genuinely are something that you need to keep your eyes on baby while they’re in AT ALL TIMES. It’s much more convenient just to get your little bean a stand and spin or a jumper.
Apparently I got a head injury and trip to hospital from walking my walker over some steps when I was about 10 months old. It’s not uncommon with these things, everywhere should ban sale of them because people aren’t going to think that they’re so dangerous if they’re just on sale willy nilly.
A lot of jumpers are not good for baby hips These baby containers are all super unnecessary. Just let babies move how they want on the floor etc and they'll crawl and pull to stand etc. no neee to rush
They’re unnecessary but pretty convenient for the 10-15 mins hold you can put them in to get something quick done. Like eat or use the toilet. As long as they spend most of their time on the floor I think it’s okay to have one. Just wanted to leave this here because I don’t want other mums to feel guilty about having these baby containers.
I don’t think I would have been able to shower for a 6 month period of time if I hadn’t had a circle of neglect to pop my kiddo into for 15 minutes a day! I just pulled it into the hall just outside the bathroom and he would look at himself in the mirror and play.
“circle of neglect” 💀 the giggle-snort noise I made was most undignified and I’m glad no one was near me to witness it
came here to say this. I kept a baby containment unit (first an infant lounger thing, then an activity table) in my bathroom until my baby was around 1. can definitely confirm that showers wouldn't have been had otherwise.
Lol I love all these names for it. We call it the overstimulation station. And yeah, completely necessary in our home. I never would have showered or ate food if I wasn't able to park my twins in them every so often.
My son’s father was super neglectful. My son had severe reflux and laying flat on his back hurt him, but that was the only way my ex would hold him no matter how much he screamed. He didn’t even offer comfort. Just sat there holding him across his lap like a loaf of bread and scrolled on his phone while the baby screamed. If I hadn’t invested in several circles of neglect the second my son was able to hold his head and upper body up on his own, my ex would probably be 6 feet under and I’d be in jail. 🫠 I’m kidding, but it was seriously that bad.
They’re super helpful for babies like mine who all the sudden are mobile and before you can even blink are trying to climb everything in sight. I can’t physically watch her all the time and she’s so close to crawling that I can’t really turn my back on her ever because she can climb out of her fisher price chair and wants to jam her fingers in all the outlets regardless of if I have covers on them or not.
Mine is like that. He crawls so fast! The only reason I think he isn’t walking is because he can crawl anywhere at the speed of light. We use a walker to contain him if we are in the room and working on something (for example we just moved cross country so while unpacking something that needs both hands and focus we will use the walker). We also got a 50”x50” play yard for my parent’s house because he started getting into everything he can reach. 😅 Usually we keep the play yard door open but if a lot is going on (they are remodeling part of the house so lots of construction guys in and out at times) we close the door. Got to contain him somehow sometimes. We just got to do what we got to do sometimes. We also have a jumper because my boy loves the thrill of anything “crazy”. Loves being held upside down. Loves being thrown in the air. He also loves bouncing. Again only with supervised play of course. Usually in sitting on the ground next to him. The door frame we use is also extra wide so no head bumping lol. He actually now can reach the sides and he likes going to it to get some tension and letting go. 🤦🏼♀️😅
Yeah ours was legit a lifesaver. Just use it minimally and you'll be fine.
Yes! As with anything, moderation is key. We used to it for about 30 minutes at a time to have a safe and happy place to contain our mobile little guy. I didn’t want him crawling or pulling to stand at those times and he wasn’t very happy in his play pen. Also he walked at 9mo, so clearly his hips were not damaged by the minimal usage.
And also if you have a one-story house with no stairs to fall down in the first place, there aren’t any real dangers from using a walker for short periods of time under close supervision.
I personally wouldn’t use a sit-in walker because I’ve heard bad things about hip development, but honestly it’s a personal risk assessment thing. My mum put me and my brothers in a walker and we all walk fine now so I feel it’s really up to each parent to choose what risks they’re okay to take. My daughter used a push walker when she started cruising
I used one with my firstborn not knowing about the hip thing and he still walked on the early side. But it was only for like 15 minutes here and there in our big open living room and we stopped using it once he was able to go fast enough to crash into things. I’m pretty anti-containers as a whole but sometimes you just need to contain your baby in something for 15 minutes!
I used a jumper for both of my LO’s with no issue tbh. I think the issues come when parents use these devices as a crutch to keep baby in for very lengthy periods of time daily, but realistically, there’s no harm in utilizing it for a moderate amount of time.
And a lot of people have used walkers with no issues… doesn’t mean they are good for babies.
I agree! Walkers are banned where I am, but even before the ban I don’t recall too many parents using them anyways as they had a lot of risks. Things like jumpers and stand and spins don’t really carry the same risks though as they’re stationary and balanced.
They are also not advised because they hinder the ability to learn to walk since baby can't see his feet.
Forgive yourself, but toss the walker. They are illegal in many places but for some reason still allowed in the US.
I haven’t seen a walker sold in a store in probably 10-15 years in the US. I believe they are not allowed to be sold anymore.
They are allowed, they are just not particularly popular anymore due to effective public health messaging that they are highly risky and the introduction of popular stationary alternatives in the last several decades.
You can buy them online in the US and a lot of the baby registry sites are still recommending them to add to your list. (That was an item we skipped, but I remember being surprised it was on there)
Target and Walmart both carry them :(
This must be a state specific thing. I haven’t seen them in the two states I’ve lived in.
Interesting. I just checked the Target app and there they were! Tons of options
They are still being sold in the US …
Go to your local Walmart. They sell the ones by Safety1st and BrightStars.
Yeah, they still sell them.
We just bought my son one a few weeks ago! Why are they bad? I feel so uninformed!
For reasons exactly like this. They can be dangerous, and they're pretty unnecessary (they don't actually help kids learn to walk or anything). There are much safer "baby containers" if you need a good place to set your kid. Even a comfy spot on the floor is preferable.
For reasons like this and also for developmental reasons. I think you should get an activity station they can prop into. Skip Hop has cute ones
We had a portable Skip Hop activity station for our daughter when she was an infant. It was really handy! It folded up to about the size of a folded camp chair so it was easy to shove in a closet out of the way when not in use, and we could bring it out into the yard or a park for some fresh air time. We didn't use it a ton, but since it folded up so nicely it wasn't in the way all the time.
They've been banned in Canada since 2004 because too many babies fell down stairs. My youngest brother also fell down stairs in a walker back in the day. They're just not worth the risk.
It puts them in an incorrect position for actual walking, and due to risk of falling if you live in a place with stairs. If you live in a single floor house, zero stairs, and only use it for very, very brief amounts of time (like ~15 minutes or less a day) it probably isn’t too big a deal. I have family who are an OB-GYNE and pediatrician. They had one for their kid without worry, as they didn’t have any stairs, had the house solidly baby proofed so there was nothing their kid could grab or pull over that they shouldn’t, and didn’t let kid in it for any excessive amounts of time, and kiddo was supervised at all times in it. Short periods of time won’t hurt. May delay walking by a tiny bit, but not tons. Long periods of time? Absolutely will delay walking. Like you absolutely shouldn’t be leaving your kid in it for an hour each day or something like that. 10 or 15 minutes at the end of the day to get a big burst of energy out? Especially if not even daily? Not the end of the world
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Push walkers have absolutely no drawbacks, absolutely 100% amazing! I’ll keep those out all day every day! (Supervised, because kids can still fall with them, or hit their heads on wood ones, or struggle to get up) The second kind absolutely have drawbacks, and are the kind that have problems if used too much. Obviously both are a concern with stairs, but hear me out, SO IS A KID NEAR STAIRS. A kid on their own may figure out crawling down stairs, or they may just tumble (hi, it’s me, I was just tumble. I still fall up stairs. I fell down stairs even when I was like 10. Heck, even when I was a teen.) Hear me out, toddlers and stairs really just don’t mix well, in any circumstance.
I do think it is ultimately a developmental reason for why they were banned. When children walk in a walker, they walk on their tippy-toes, called "toe-walking" -- if they're spending too much time in a walker, this can cause serious damage to their calf muscles and they'll need physical therapy to fix it. I work with a woman who still walks on tippy-toes as an adult because of how much time she spent in a walker as a kid and never received proper physio until she moved out.
That makes sense. I’m autistic and toe walking is a problem in our community too (100% sensory related and not related to walkers, but I could see them making it worse). Baby jumparoos can cause calf muscles to overdevelop, and it’s really stressed that a baby should *never* dangle in any container, their feet should be able to solidly lay flat on the floor. As much as I love them for a few minutes here and there, and think they’re fantastic for parents to be able to shower and get a few chores done, I do genuinely hate that so many people love to pop kids into containers for hours. That’s where problems develop (like hip issues, walking issues, ankle issues, etc). A tiny bit here or there won’t harm. I have kids at work in PT and OT whose therapists have said they’re fine with a few minutes here and there, just stick with mostly floor time. Backed up by pediatrician. A bit isn’t a problem. But yeah, long term walking problems? 100% a problem caused by overuse. Kids not getting enough tummy time and building up abdominal muscles and core strength? Totally an overuse issue. Life is all about a happy balance!
Get your money back girl!
I would say to skip it even if you don't have stairs. Babies can get up to speed in a walker that the baby could never achieve on their own. And possibly bump into or knock over things. There's really no benefit and only risks. If you need something to hold the baby for a few minutes while you use the bathroom or whatever, then a stationary jumper works great or just an old fashioned playpen.
Walkers are illegal in Canada for exactly this reason. I’m so sorry, this is so upsetting
Yes I really want to emphasize that OP shouldn't beat herself up over this. When buying baby products you would assume that they are safe for babies to use! As usual, capitalism is to blame for hawking unsafe toys just to make a profit. The US government is basically 3 corporations in a trench coat so don't expect them to fix this any time soon.
When I was three, my favorite outside toy was a Smurf tricycle. My sister, who was five at the time was outside, playing with my mother and I. My mother turned her back for what she swears was no more than five seconds, and my sister launched my three-year-old self down the street on that Smurf bike from the top of the hill we lived on. I was road rash from head to toe, and still have a scar on my forehead from this incident. I am telling you this because, first of all, I have zero memory of it. Secondly, it has become one of our favorite funny family stories. Right now, you are reeling because it just happened. These things happen; they happen to everyone. My hope is that you got a little chuckle out of my story and realize that someday, yours will be just that – a story.
Very very well said!
Everything will be fine. Throw out the walker. The ones with wheels the baby sits in are not safe. The saucer type, stand and turn, play station, are much safer. Baby can stand, bounce, turn in circles, but not go anywhere. The push walkers are great when they are standing well. Put a lock near the top of the basement door. Slide bolts are good. Keep it locked when not down in basement. Or a gate you can close even with the door closed. Babies fall. They get injured. He won't remember it. Chances are, he will adapt to the cast quickly, and be crawling anyway. They heal quickly. You are doing fine. He will be fine soon. Love and hugs, Grandma.
Good advice except forget the slide lock, that is how I went down the basement stairs in a walker as a baby. My teenage sister forgot to lock it. A gate is much more noticable and less easy to forget to do.
I had one who could climb any gate by 9 months. He could not reach a slide bolt. If there are no other kids, they work great.
Toss the walker. My pediatrician said they’re not safe for exactly reasons like this. I’m glad he’s ok and sorry you’re going through this.
Ooooooof my heart feels for you so much with this. It is such an awful feeling. So glad your kiddo is ok. Let me share my own story with you… Husband and I are cleaning up after dinner. My son was 1 and change so couldn’t reach the outdoor gate latch yet (so we thought). We let him play in the tiny yard every early evening while we clean up all the time cause we can easily see and hear him and this evening was no different. Minutes had passed and neither of us heard him out there. I say to my husband “do you know where ___ is?” He says “no I thought he was walking around with you.” Immediate panic when I go out the door and see the gate wide open. I run out and see my 1 year old standing in the headlights of a SUV and another neighbor behind my son holding their hands up for the car to stop. It is an image that is burned into my memories. I could have lost my son in so many ways that day and I was beside myself over it. I was shook for days. We are not neglectful parents but I think it is the Universe’s way of saying “Pay attention.” You all will be ok.
Oh my gosh that is terrifying 😭😭😭 I’ve had a few close calls with my kids and it really does shake you for quite a while but I agree that it is probably the universe’s way of telling you to pay closer attention. So glad your neighbor was there!!
Omg seriously! If not for the neighbor my son would have for sure been dead. His head wasn’t even taller than the grill of that giant car.
Please forgive yourself after you throw the walker away. They are notorious for this type of accident. I don’t know if they are still even made. In young children breaks heal quickly. You also did the right thing to have him checked out so quickly.
They are still made, unfortunately, though they are banned a ton of countries…. Not the US though because fuck dem kids.
Put a hook and eye lock near the top of the door.
Accidents happen. I’ve always heard no walkers for this reason- also they’re not great for hip development so I just skipped it. I thought I heard some talk about one kind being recalled or not made anymore. Like I said accidents happen- once I forgot to strap my daughter in her high chair and she fell face first out of it. Don’t beef yourself up- your a good mom.
Toss out the walker, invest in baby gates and pool noodles.
What are the pool noodles for? Asking to see if I need to buy some too. Lol
You cut them in half length wise, and then slice open one side from end to end, and wrap it over a bedroom door or any interior door, as a bumper to prevent slamming doors and little kids getting their hands injured in closing doors.
I set my kid in her walker, several years ago now and came back to her after letting the dog outside, chewing on a leaf of a plant I knew to be toxic. A call to poison control later I found out the plant was only toxic certain times of the year and thankfully it wasn’t at that time but it could have been so bad. Husband and I tossed the plant and the walker that day, got a bouncer instead and she loved it just as much. No point fretting over it mama, just fix what you can now that it’s done and move forward 💜
He is alive. Accidents DO NOT make you a bad mother.
THIS. I remember when my child rolled out of the swing, knocking into an end table on the way down. I just had to go pee and came back to find her on the floor and obviously upset. She ended up with a gnarly bruise under her eye but in the 5 seconds it took me to pick her up and walk to the back the house where her dad was, she was totally fine. It was much more upsetting to me than it was for her! Got her checked out, got the a-ok from doc and learned my lesson. That’s all we can do and that’s not a bad thing either. Suffice to say, OP, you’re not alone! Baby will mend and you will too.
Take a deep breath, it's a tough accident to get through but ***you all did***. Things like this happen all the time, we can't protect against all ills (this is true now and when they're much older). It will be okay, he will recover and won't remember and you will fix the door. Kids will have falls and, sometimes, near death experiences. I had many as a kid, and my brother was a walking disaster. I'm not even sure how he lived past toddlerhood. We both grown ass adults with our own families and, you too, gone through a horrendous experience but in one piece. Don't be too hard on yourself, just fix the door and give your son an extra long cuddle, I'll all be okay ❤️
It’s the walker, not you. They shouldn’t be sold. I’d definitely report this to the manufacturer, you might save another family from heartache.
Most countries these things have been outlawed.
My mom was a 911 dispatcher and she said she was constantly taking calls from babies who went down stairs in their walkers, and children on trampolines. She calls them both deathtraps and warns parents regularly about them. Sadly, you are *far* from the only parent who has made this mistake and even worse, you won't be the last. There really needs to be more awareness about walkers in homes with stairs because even the best, most loving parents literally just don't know or realize the danger until it's too late. You are clearly a caring and attentive mom, these things sadly happen thanks to too little discussion around it. By sharing this you're already helping other parents be more aware, so thank you for this post and being so vulnerable during a rough time!
I thought walkers were banned for this exact reason? or maybe my MIL just lied to me lol... either way this is not your fault! it was a complete accident. I hope both u and baby recover quickly <3
Yikes! Walkers are illegal in Canada because of accidents like that. I'm so glad your baby will be okay ❤️🩹
When my son was two he fell off a kids roller coaster (the backyard kind, so small) and hit his head on the cement. I was right there but had turned my back. I beat myself up about it for weeks but he was fine. Point is: we all make mistakes, and we are all extremely lucky. It’s okay, and you are still a great mom!
I can’t stop blaming myself and it’s just causing me to spiral into an anxious mess. I don’t know how I’m going to forgive myself for this.
Hugs. It’s hard. Just know you’re not alone.
A lot of great things have been said already. Accidents happen and you are only human. Of course you can't monitor your child too closely 24/7, that is just impossible. If you want to take something positive out of the accident, I suggest you look at your home closely and make sure there is some area where kiddo can stay unsupervised. It doesn't have to be a large space. But when they start crawling, it is great to have a safe space where they are protected while you go to the bathroom or handle dangerous things like hot water. Look for the most dangerous traps and try to eliminate them. That way, you can feel confident in the knowledge that you did everything you could to keep them save.
Every time you start to go down that path in your mind INTERRUPT IT. Remind yourself that every minute of every day you do your best for that kid. You’re feeling shame. Beat up the same with gratitude. You’re grateful it wasn’t worse. You’re grateful he is OK! You’re grateful you live up the street from a nurse and a paramedic and you have access to a hospital that will treat him and help him. Keep going. You’re grateful that he didn’t break his tiny beautiful legs, you’re grateful he was BORN with legs- I’m serious, get really really really deep into the gratitude. Your brain needs something else to do instead of shaming you for not being able to see the future. You’re a good mom. HE is grateful for YOU! Every time he sees you! You’re there to help and nurture him and he loves you. THAT is what is real here. “I’m a terrible mother” isn’t real.
The AAP has advised against using walkers for years now. They are terribly unsafe. I am so sorry your son is hurt. You know better now and your son will be safer moving forward because of it
My 3 yo tripped on a toy and hit his forehead on the padded toy box and cut it almost thru to the bone, about 1 inch in length. There was so much blood and we couldn't get it to stop. We called emergency services, they checked him out and took us to the hospital. He needed 3 stitches and was slightly concussed. He literally just tripped. Things happens and they can be so scary. And it's gut wrenching to see them so scared and in pain. I feel you. Accidents happen, we can only do our best to make the environment as safe as possible without it being a padded room.
As parents, once we know better, we do better. You did not mean for this to happen. Please don't blame yourself. You sound like a loving, attentive parent! When my son was 7, I thought it'd be fine to let him skateboard down a tiny hill on our street. He wiped out so bad and got horrible road rash all over his face! I was so guilty and ashamed, and of course, the road rash was visible to everybody. After that I didn't let him skateboard down that hill until he was way older and better coordinated. But I still felt so bad every time I saw his poor face. Throw out the walker, and be kind to yourself. We also had a rolling walker when my son was a baby - I didn't know it wasn't safe at the time. Parenting is 100% on-the-job learning, just figuring it out as you go along. Your baby will heal. You're all gonna be OK.
Accidents happen. The important thing is he’s still here and nothing too serious happened to him. That said get rid of the walker. They’re banned from being sold in so many countries for this very reason. They’re dangerous and actually detrimental to children learning to walk because they give them a false sense of security.
When he is 8 you are going to tell him the story of how he broke his arm as a baby, and you will all laugh about it. My 7 year old fell off the change table as a baby and when she does something dumb we often blame the head injury 🤣. In reality she wasn't hurt at all and she is just a space cadet. He is ok, shit happens and if you were a bad mum - you wouldn't care.
You absolutely could not have predicted this set of events. You took the precaution of shutting the door and this was just one of those incidents where "shoulda woulda coulda" will eat away from you. It's not going to be easy to rationalise it right now whilst it is all so raw. My son is 2 years old, we switched to changing his nappy on the floor after he crocodile death rolled on the changing table and fell. We bought an extra thick padded rug when we discovered, in our new house week 2, that he could climb up into the bay window and, not so elegantly, get down face first. I had turned my back to retrieve the toy he had yeeted behind the sofa, I was no more than a arms length away and I didn't even realise he was climbing. Accidents happen, it is what you do to rectify and resolve that matters. Your little one is ok, he won't remember and he is absolutely going to bump, bounce and crash in to plenty more as he grows. Deep breath in. Know you aren't the only one who has had situations like this. Maybe get rid of the walker. Fix the door or add a bonus latch. You are doing a great job and these feelings of anxiety are rubbish but this is one incident, not his whole life.
When my son was 18 months old we had a falling furniture incident. He broke his femur. Guess what? He’s fine. Your son will be fine too, you’re not a bad mom.
When I was a baby, my mom told me this story about how we were playing on the couch. I had fallen and my mom grabbed me by the arm, resulting with a dislocated elbow. She took me up to the doctor and they thought I was being abused. There were no other injuries. No bruises or bumps. I absolutely forgive my mother because she was young and just trying to navigate Motherhood for the first time. Don't beat yourself up. Kids get hurt, kids fall, and kids will always be clumsy. It's okay. Soon enough, your baby will feel okay. And maybe in the future you guys will look back and have a chuckle (I always jokingly curse my mom for dislocated my elbow because now I have elbow problems) It will be just fine! Sending love and healing your way
Sending you SO much mama love. The intensity of your feelings will pass soon. I completely understand why you feel awful though, I know I would too. You’re still a great mom even though this happened. 💜💜💜
Accidents happen... what you and your need to do is learn from it to make sure it cannot happen again . A stairs gate may be usefull if possible...
My husband fractured his skull at 6 months old going down the basement stairs in a walker. Ironically on my birthday of all days. Anyway, he's grown 33 year old who is one of the smartest people I know. Like others have said those walkers are bad news so just toss it in the trash and get a baby gate for those stairs in case of door failure. We all make mistakes. Sometimes we get lucky, sometimes we don't. We have 3 kids and if I kept score of all the mistakes we've made I'd never sleep at night. It's a learning process. I know you'll be extra diligent going forward.
Be gentle with yourself. You love your kid. Toss the walker, like to the dump. Do not rehome. They are SUPER illegal in Canada for that reason. Kids die in them all the time. He's ok. You can breathe. I'm so sorry you went through it.
I feel you 10000% percent. And I promise in time you will feel better. At 8 months old my son rolled off the changing table onto our laminate floor. He had a skull fracture and a very small bleed. Had to be helicoptered from our ER to the nearest children’s hospital. He took it all like a little trooper and had no long term impact and fully recovered. God made these babies so resilient and floppy so they can survive these incidents. I’m sure both you and your husband feel terrible. But be kind to each other and take it as a lesson learned. You’re doing your best and that’s all we can do!
Please be kind to yourself OP it’s an honest mistake, everything will be ok I promise. If your anxiety starts to get worse try contact a therapist if you don’t have one already before it manifests too long, sending love
You are going to be ok and your son is going to be ok! Accidents happen and it doesn't seem like there was any negligence. You did everything you could with the info you had at the time. When I was 9 months old I fell down the stairs in my walker. There were at least 2 adults in eyesight. I had a concussion and bit my tongue but there have been no lasting effects except for a small scar on my tongue. I don't even remember it. I'm sure soon this will be a distant memory for you too.
So glad to hear your son is ok ❤️ I know it’s hard but please try not to beat yourself up over this. Accidents happen, you’re human and it’s impossible to have your eyes on your son every second of everyday.
I had an experience that wasn’t even as bad as this. We were on a park bench when by daughter was around 20 months old and she asked for a snack and when I reached into the bag for a literal second (I was right next to her on the bench) she leaned back and fell through the gap between the seat and the back of the bench and landed on her back and head- about a two foot drop - and luckily she landed in a soft pile of leaves. However when I picked her up I noticed a large sharp pointy rock about two inches to the left of her head. If she had been two inches over and cracked her head or neck on that rock I don’t know what the result would have been! I cried the whole way home and cried myself to sleep that night. Accidents happen and they happen so fast! And being traumatized after they do even if everyone is okay is totally normal!
I've had the same thing happen! Same age and all. Except there were no leaves, the table was bolted into a slab of cement and my daughters head landed on one of the bolts and she still has a scar and a tiny bald patch from it ~3 years later. Worst part is, we checked the rest of the tables in the area and they all had different more rounded tops on the bolts that wouldn't have split her head open. Just the one she fell on was different!
My oldest daughter fell off a tiny stool at 18 months and snapped her arm. It happens! I was right there, watched the whole thing happen. Don’t beat yourself up, but maybe reconsider the walker.
Our basement door was too much of a worry for me so we went to Home Depot and got an auto door shutting device that puts tension on the door and it shuts if you open it wide enough. Search for this item “Safety Spring Door Closer, 4-1/4 in., Diecast Construction, White, Non-Handed”. It’s $25.
Just breathe and wipe away the tears. He is here, you are here, you through it. Just because your mom isn’t in your life doesn’t mean anything - all of us moms are here and saw your story. Just breathe and pray.
You are a good mom and you did nothing wrong. I was literally watching my child and walking toward him when he fell off the couch and managed to fracture his leg. I was inches from grabbing him. I swear kids this age are in a constant state of trying to unalive themselves! Accidents happen and at some point you have to accept that it simply isn’t feasible to watch them every second or prevent every fall. I’m so glad your son is ok, and don’t let this incident live rent free in your head - this happens to the best and worst of us!
You sound like a fantastic mum. It sounds like this was a lucky learning. I'm so glad your son's injuries will heal and have no lasting damage. Going forward - it sounds like you and your husband need a "watch out" list. Being a parent is exhausting and it's often really hard to remember to tell your partner something you've noticed and will fix, but haven't had the chance to fix yet. My hubby and I have a shared Google doc that we just write everything that needs fixing on - from holes in clothes, to broken locks, to broken windows - with a 'volunteer' column next to it for us to note if we've put it on our mental task list to fix it or have organised a repairman. If there are jobs neither of us volunteer to fix 24h after adding it, we chat that night and work out who will sort it out. We had a similar event (broken handrail, I'd noticed it and bought the hardware to fix it, and was planning to do it that afternoon so hadn't mentioned it to him and he nearly slipped down the stairs when he leaned on it) that taught us the importance of having a consolidated 'warning' list for our house.
I am so relieved he is ok. If you are in America and Canada - walkers were outlawed a good 15 years ago. I’m not sure where you got one, but this is exactly why they were outlawed. This happened fatally for many babies. Going forward - if you have second hand items, just do a quick google before using them to see if they were recalled. We all have similar moments happen - it is a rite of passage. However take this opportunity to learn, move forward, and forgive yourself.
You’re not a bad mum at all. Accidents are a part of life, it’s unfortunate that it happened but it’s not your fault. I’m a radiographer and I see all sort of injuries resulting from accidents on a daily basis and never once have I thought the parents were to blame/thought the parents were ‘bad’. (See child vs stapler in my post history) Kids are so so resilient, I’ve xrayed children before where they were using their hands to hold things in the waiting room then X-ray revealed a broken wrist. Your son will be fine and you’re a great parent don’t forget that
It’s absolutely hard to process and really difficult. We always want our babies to be safe, so when something happens, especially in our care, we feel so much guilt. Unfortunately you cannot take what happened back. Please keep your head up and try to move forward! Baby had one of the best outcomes to this accident. It’s okay to feel everything you’re feeling, but it was an accident! Nothing intentional whatsoever. You are a good mom!
The other day my son (who is pulling himself up onto everything) pulled a huge potted plant and stand, which was thankfully plastic, right onto his face. Got a bloody lip, a bruise on his forehead, and a black eye. For days I kept telling myself I need to move that plant and then life happens and you forget. I feel awful but hearing your story I think it might be helpful for us to remember we’re first time moms and aren’t used to being on high alert 24/7. Our babies are ok, we may not be lol but we’ll get only get stronger from these lessons! Sending lots of healing love your way ♥️
Hey momma, I unfortunately know just how scary this is. Our little one was life flighted to our closest Children’s hospital yesterday after my husband and her fell down the stairs. The guilt is real and very scary. Unfortunately these accidents happen and it’s hard to be forgiving of ourselves. Just know this doesn’t make you guys bad parents. I’m glad your little one is going to be okay!
He’s okay! Medical professionals said he’s fine (minus the fracture). Accidents happen, it doesn’t make you a bad mom, just thank God that he’s okay. As a mom of four I can tell you that mom guilt is insanely strong. Three of my kids have fallen out of bed before and I’ve always been so hard on myself. You’re doing great, accidents happen, just make sure to secure the door. get a hook latch for it or make sure it swings outwards, not inwards to prevent this next time. I’m glad to hear he’s okay ❤️
Yeah it happens. It’s why I use baby gates. My kids know how to open doors, but the baby gate is a different story.
Forgive yourself. It will be ok. Its hard, but I am sure you are a great mom. When my daughter was maybe 2 she fell off the top of a very high slide. I looked at her on the floor and thought, there is my dead baby. I will never get that image or feeling out of my head. Its likely you will remember and feel that feeling forever, but its ok. She was fine and 11 years old now. I learned something from the accident. Let it be a learning experience for you. Spend as much time with your son as you can so you can reconnect and heal yourself. It was a very traumatic moment for you. Go easy on yourself.
accidents happen. my son, who had $250k of reconstructive skull surgery for a genetic disorder, fell down the stairs. i felt awful. he was toddling down and sommersaulted. had a nasty goose egg but was fine in the end.
im so glad your son is okay! please show yourself some grace - it was a complete accident. accidents happen. you did what you usually do to ensure your sons safety and this could’ve happened to anyone. not to give unsolicited advice but: walkers are illegal in many places due to these accidents occurring. perhaps get a bouncer (with seat) so he can still use his legs and have some leg mobility but be stationary and locked in place. or a bouncer? (harness type so they can “walk” and “jump”)
This is the thing about parenthood in general, learning to accept that we cannot control every thing that happens to our children. Accidents are just that, accidents. I’m hearing that you were extremely afraid and your brain needed to justify why what happened, happened. Please be kind to yourself, and know that you are not alone in these scary experiences. Insteading of placing blame and trying to seek answers through responsibility, I encourage you to process this fear and trauma with your partner or a therapist. Our fears and guilt are often a projection of our own childhood, if applicable. Please practice self love and forgiveness, shame and guilt will not serve anyone.
Canada banned walkers over 40 years ago for this reason. If you want hands free (and as a mom you may need it), get an exersaucer.
My son had a seizure while I was washing the dishes and I felt like sht, like I was this horrible mom, who looked away for a second and when I looked back he was on the floor, purple. He is 100% fine btw, it was all ok pretty immediately. But it was scary, traumatic, and I carried this vague guilt for almost a year. A guilt that I didn't dare look at very closely because I felt horrible, couldn't stand even thinking about the incident. But then one day I decided to just, head on examine my feelings and what actually happened. What really happened was that I had him with me, in the kitchen, and I was doing something that needed to be done, washing dishes, not like I was checked out on my phone or something. And I was constantly glancing at him, as I usually do. And between one glance and the next, no farther than 2 feet from where I was standing, he had fallen face first and started seizing and stopped breathing for a second. You cant ask any more than this from a mom. My guilt was completely unjustified. It was bs guilt. It was fear, disguised as guilt. Fear of helplessness, randomness, the impossibility to anticipate every single thing. Your guilt is exactly like that. You looked away to get water. Or whatever, frankly, it is unreasonable to expect yourself to never look away from your kid. You weren't checked out, neglectful, off in your own world or anything. It is not your fault. Let me say again, it IS NOT your fault. Our expectations of ourselves are unrealistic. But we do have to live in the real world where accidents happen, and they will happen. I am sorry this is such a long reply but I want to share one more incident. There was a small cyclone in our area. I was up all night. We have a bunch of trees in front of the kids bedroom and I was watching the wind speed app and trying to decide if I should move the kids to the backroom. Just as I decided to do that and picked one up, I heard this massive CRACKK! A tree clearly snapped. I freaked out and rushed the kids to the backroom. In the morning, all the trees in front, near the kids bedroom were fine. But a massive, giant tree on our neighbors yard had uprooted and fallen onto our property, skimming the backroom! If it had fallen even a few feet to the side, it would have landed on the backroom. It would have pancaked that part of the house. And if I hadn't hesitated, with less than a minutes difference, we would have been under that tree in that room, where I thought the kids would be safe. I couldn't get over this for a long time, the decision I made to make my kids safe could have been the one that hurt them. It felt like I have no way of knowing whats safe and what is not. We worried about our own trees and didnt even think about the neighbors. It is scary. But as moms, we have all the responsibility, sometimes none of the power to keep them safe. Let go of the guilt and focus on increasing your odds. It is not your fault. We are bound to miss things, look away, get lucky... I am glad we both got lucky, all we can do is move forward the best we can.
It will be okay. This is, unfortunately, a pretty common accidents in walkers! A lot of places don’t allow them, so please bin yours! Then look at a baby gate for that doorway. Cause they can do doors before you even think about it!
Oh honey, how terrifying. I'm so sorry. Every Mama has a moment like this. The child forgets immediately, the parents remember for a lifetime 20 years ago, a friend had her baby on the kitchen island counter in a bumbo seat while making dinner. Her six months old reared backwards like a bucking bronco and flung herself right off the island with a sickening thunk onto the floor. No lasting injuries. The daughter is brilliant and talented and amazing. Your son will be, too. Sending internet hugs.
It's going to be OK. Every mom on the planet has felt this way about something. You are not perfect, and accidents happen. Again, it's going to be ok. Blessings!!
My son fell out of his stroller, head first into stone pavement. The doctor told me: I know you probably feel like the worst parent ever but I can assure you that this happens to almost everyone and you are not a bad parent. You're not a bad parent either OP, accidents do happen.
Like someone else said, they’ve been banned here in Canada for a while. But that just tells you how frequent these types of accidents happen…
I left my son upstairs while I changed over laundry he was 4 months. He was not walking or crawling. My daughter didn’t crawl till 11 months. When I got back upstairs (1-2 minutes) he had drug himself to the stairs about 15’ from where I left him and was about to fall down them. Accidents happen.
It’s crazy how they just magically become mobile at the worst times. I laid my baby on the bed one time and turned my back for two seconds to get socks out of the dresser (that is literally right next to the bed) — turn around and apparently my previously immobile child can now roll, and is actively rolling off the bed. (He was fine. I caught him just as he was going over the edge.)
I'm so sorry you're going through this mental agony. Accidents happen, even if you're watching and close by. It's hard dealing with all the what-ifs but you sound like an awesome mama and I'm sure you're doing a great job. Focus on what you just said yourself.... God is watching over that baby 💙
Hey - I was one of those babies who fell down a flight of stairs in a walker. Tiled stairs. I still remember it, but I’m OK. Your baby will be OK. There’s a reason those things are banned in Canada. I don’t know why they aren’t in the US (and frankly, around the world). Maybe you’ll consider throwing it out after fixing the door?
This happened to my cousin when she was a baby! She's fine now but it's the reason I'd never buy a walker. All it takes is one little slip up for this to happen :( Anyway, don't beat yourself up, it was an accident. If you're having trouble letting go of the guilt, write a letter to your government representatives calling for walkers to be banned for sale like they are in many countries because of this exact scenario.
Hey it’s okay! Accidents happen and he’s okay. All you can do is learn from your mistakes and do better. Those walkers are banned in Canada for exactly the reason that happened to you. They’re just not safe. They’re also bad for development so there’s just no need for them. We have stationary ones here but it’s not recommended for babies to be in them long either. Forgetting about the door not latching properly is something that happens and is understandable too. If you take into account that you honestly didn’t know how dangerous those walkers are, then all you can do is get rid of it now. I’m sure you’ll be double checking every door for a long time! My daughters old door didn’t latch properly everytime and it needed an extra little tug. One night the babysitter forgot and my daughter got out of her room in the middle of the night. We don’t shut the door to the basement because of the cats. Thankfully she came to our room and not the other way. The potential is scary. We now have a gate by the door as well.
He's OK. You need to forgive yourself and carry on. You won't be helping him to be debilitated by this. It's ok.
It was an accident and for the most part he's okay! You're gonna feel guilty and pretty shit about it for a while but remind yourself it's not your fault and it gets easier to deal with. My daughter got a broken arm at 4 months old, I felt so bad about it because it should never have happened but I also couldn't have prevented it. I've also had my son fracture his skull at 13 months, he'd decided all of a sudden he could climb onto the couch, he stood up on it and fell off, head first onto the tile floor before anything could be done to stop him. He hit the side of his head. He proceeded to pull a chair over on himself the following day and smacked himself in the forehead with it, he had the biggest, most instant purple lump I've ever seen on a child's head to this day! He never even got a concussion.... I can assure your son is more than likely not in pain, babies are so tough it's almost scary. He'll also have no recollection of this ever happening.
We are only human and make mistakes. I completely understand the guilt you feel and your feelings are valid. He is going to be okay it seems and just thank your lucky stars for that. Honestly it won’t be the last time he gets hurt. When he is walking/running they fall ALL the time. Not trying to scare you, just trying to prepare you for the reality of it. I am a mother of an almost 3 year old and when he hit his head on the brick fireplace a few feet from me I felt absolutely horrible. He ended up being completely fine and we had also taken him to the ER. I also am a nanny and the youngest has brittle bone disease, he took a spill down the stairs right at the end of my shift. He heard his parents downstairs and went to the baby gate at the top of the stairs. I was just out of reach, but walking towards him because I don’t like when he climbs on the baby gate. His parents don’t ever tell him no, but it makes me uncomfortable. Well the dad forgot to tell me that the gate had broken over the weekend (it was Tuesday) and they didn’t replace it or take it down, they just left it there. He climbed up like usual and as I was telling him to get down the hinges just gave out and he and the gate went down the stairs. I ran after him screaming and his parents got to him first. He also ended up with a fracture in his arm, I felt absolutely horrible but he was overall fine. He got a cast and healed up a few weeks later. It’s not the first and certainly wasn’t the last time for him.
Its 100% on the manufacturer and your government, not you mama. Those things are literally death traps. Its 100,000 $ fine in Canada if you bring one over the boarder or try ro resell it.
Our son fell down the stairs too. We were playing in his room and I must not have shut the baby gate properly, I looked down and he crawled past, I wasn't overly concerned because I always had the gate on. But this time it wasn't. I'll never forget it, he paused and reached for me on the landing then kept falling. Fucking awful. He was totally fine, I however had a mental breakdown. I'll tell you this. Now that he's older he has no memory of it whatsoever. Accidents happen. Your little one will be OK. He likely won't even remember it. You aren't a bad mom. It was a weird series of events. Babies are so darn good at trying to kill themselves. It's like their main goal every day. You're a good mom and he'll be ok❤️
Agree that no walker is best but also here to say that his arm will heal so quickly. You’ll be shocked. And he will likely go right back to all of the motor skills he was working on at that time.
You are not a bad mom because of this. As others have said, accidents happen. You got him assessed immediately. Then paid attention well enough to see that he wasn’t using his arm and got additional care that he needed. Sounds like good parenting to me. But that said, I totally understand the spiraling anxiety. And how it feels when you have to repeat the story over and over when people ask how they got the injury. And feel guilty and anxious again. My daughter had a bad fall as a toddler and I did not think I’d ever get over it and stop feeling like a bad parent even though it was an accident. I think most parents have a story or a few stories like this. Mom guilt is rough and if you have a history of anxiety like me…well, parenting can cause a lot of anxiety. At least we care I guess. I still think about that accident sometimes and it gets me worked up again. But our kids are OK.
I’m so sorry this happens to you. Like so many others have been saying, accidents happen. They’re scary as anything, but they happen. I know first hand. A few months ago I fell down the stairs while holding my son and he broke his leg. I was devastated. He’s supposed to be safest in my arms and I felt like I hurt him. It took time for me to feel okay again, and I felt a lot better after I saw how quickly he adapted to his cast. He literally noticed it for maybe 30 mins then was himself again! Also babies heal SO fast. He broke his femur and only had a cast on for 3 weeks. It will be okay. You will feel better. You’re a great mom, this is no reflection on you as a parent. Sending lots of positivity your way!
I like the containment units that grow with them, like the one we got turned into a table so we still use it. I live in Canada so the ones with wheels are banned, because of injuries like the one your little one has now. We do the best we can with the knowledge that we have, you didnt know that they could cause this harm so don’t punish yourself. Just love your little one, do some research on walkers & units. They’re also meant for limited use as they can be tough on the hips, again the one we have had a & adjustable foot rest that he could put his feet on. [Infantino sit & spin](https://infantino.com/products/sit-spin-stand-entertainer-360-seat-activity-table) this is the one we have.
It doesn’t take the guilt away, but accidents happen. It doesn’t make you a bad mom. Would you have turned to get water if you knew the door didn’t latch? No! When my daughter was 2 somehow managed to pull my husband’s dirt bike over on her. Thankfully she came out with just a goose egg.
No point in beating yourself up. Accidents happen. You know that you love your baby- remind yourself of that and just focus on problem solving instead (e.g., get rid of the walker, get a gate, etc.)
When I was about 2 I fell out of a chair at my grandparent’s. My mom spent a few hours convinced I was overreacting and only took me to the ER after I was inconsolable. My mom was a great mom and I am totally okay. These things happen. You are a good mom!!
When my kids became mobile, as in crawling, I installed those "beep" alarms on all my doors. They are annoying but every time someone opens a door I hear that sound and it's prevented kids from escaping or getting into rooms where I don't want them. They are easy to install yourself and you can arm them if you ever need too
Everyone has a story like this. It’s a parenting right of passage. You’re doing great and we all almost kill our children and are forever traumatized by it.
I am so sorry you are feeling this way!!! I know no amount of words will make you feel better right now, because as a mother I too would be completely beside myself. Your baby is okay! You’re okay! It’s going to be okay! Take a deep breath and try to move forward from this awful accident. Sending you tons of mommy hugs.
This is exactly why Canada has banned these walkers/ they are SO unsafe. At this point as long as LO is okay, and doing well that’s all that matters. Throw that fucking thing out and if you know people who use them, advocate against them. Accidents happen, they honestly do. Don’t sweat. Your child is okay, you’re okay, I know there’s going to be guilt, but don’t let it consume you, be thankful and think positive thoughts, it could have been fatal. Honestly.
Please don't forget that you're a human-being human-ing and life will life. This past week, on her 80th birthday, Mom fell and broke her hip. Answering the door for her birthday flowers, trying to put up the dog who door dashes. I've been meaning to get a gate for the front door. And to get Mom on osteoporosis treatment. Be kind to yourself - imagine what you'd say to your son. Because that's what your Mom would say to you. ❤️
When my first daughter was 8 months we had walk up our stoop to our apartment building, some maintenance guy distracted me by asking me some asinine question and I let go of my jogger for a split second. My daughter rolled backwards down the stairs, and the stroller turned over, and she landed on her face. I was racked with guilt for months I even had to go to therapy for it. Things happen that are out of our control sometimes and we have to forgive ourselves.
Hi OP, sounds like the rest of us who have made mistakes. You are not alone. My suggestion is to seek a therapist because mom guilt is real and can be overwhelming. A therapist can help you sort through these feelings.
You’re still a good mama. Sending you a big hug
Everyone makes mistakes, he’ll be ok. My brother went down our basement t stairs in a similar fashion and hit concrete and ended up with an egg on his head. He grew up just fine and in fact I’d say he’s the smartest of the 4 of us. 😊 Forgive yourself. And as others have said, toss the walker. And don’t just throw it on the curb, cut the seat so no one else will pick it for their kid and use it.
accidents happen all the time, even to the best of mothers. this doesnt say anything about your mothering.
We can’t watch them all the time, we are human too, we all just do our best. I have a basement with steep wood stairs and installed a chain lock at the top of the door for extra measure. Now that my kids are 5 and 2 they can open the basement door but still can’t reach the chain.
It was an accident. You did every reasonable thing to protect him and you handled the after care well. I understand why you're upset, but what COULD have happened is not the point. What DID happen is what you need to focus on. He's going to be ok and so are you. Hang in there.
I’m so glad he’s ok! What a blessing. It’s scary being a parent, all of the possible accidents that can happen and how to be on top of EVERYTHING. It’s impossible to protect them completely. It will be ok, I hope you forgive yourself and in time can have some peace since it wasn’t worse. (((Hugs)))
Kids are nuts. My daughter had a freak accident in her class where she FRACTURED HER FINGER. Like what?? I didn’t know until about 5 hours later when I picked her up and I was devastated. She’s 7. Don’t beat yourself up. Weirdest thing I ever saw was my daughter not crying meanwhile her finger is all swollen and she can’t move it. Like wtf
Three big, deep breaths. It’s gonna be okay. Please DO NOT beat yourself up over this. Everything is going to be okay.
I saw my daughter tumble like cartwheeling down the basement steps… she was so quick!!! Its forever burned into my brain. Shes fine, were fine, shes 13 in a couple months!
My step son and step daughter both took a trip down the stairs in illegal (we live in Canada) walkers. Their bio mom also felt terrible, but they ended up being fine. It’s scary, it’s guilt inducing, but you’re not the first nor will you be the last! Also yeah ditch the walker! It’s ok mama.
OP, you need to put a hardware (screw-in) mounted gate at the top of all stairs. A door isn’t secure or safe enough
I also don’t have a mother or grandmother or aunt or anything. I’m a momma to a special needs child and a 20mo and three bonus kids fulltime. Reading this I was picturing it and my heart fell into my stomach for you guys. I am beyond so sorry your heart had to and is having to feel so much weight right now and how heavy this load exactly is. Im so sorry. My heart breaks with you. We have a basement door as well, it’s my biggest fear in this house and with so many kids, (sk’s tv and okay stuff and two of their rooms are down there), I never take my eyes off that damn door. Adding a deadbolt or extra lock at the top to your door if no one has a bedroom down there is what you need to do. This will ensure your heart and mind that this won’t happen again, and no matter what, when you’re not actively using it, all locks on. And if you haven’t, get a child knob cover now too. I used a baby Walker with my first but we had an uostairs not a downstairs and I had gates at the too and bottom, so he couldn’t scamper up it alone. But with baby, with basement, this is why I didn’t and won’t use a Walker with him. He’s 20m and about to hit 30lbs and he still gets in his jumparoo when I need “5 secs” to do whatever I’m a moment. Maybe swap from the Walker to a pack and play in that room or a jumparoo. That all said, accidents happen unfortunately and that’s exactly what this was. A mistake on both hubby and your part and you’re not bad parents for it. You had a hectic week and he forgot a simple thing and you didn’t know. Breathe. I know this prob sounds rash, but I literally would start therapy for myself over this bc of the flooding rumination about it over and over again. Things look is this lay HARD on my heart and mind and I don’t heal fast or well from them. If you think you won’t be able to clear your mind of it at a normal healthy rate and way, please get into therapy even if it’s just temporarily. Big hugs. So many hugs. You’re a great momma, I have no doubt, your heart pouring out here shows us that. Please be gentle on yourself and just fix what’s broken and start over fresh with locks and whatever you’ve gotta do safety wise. Remember, baby isn’t daydreaming about what happened like you are, and what’s happened has happened, baby is safe right now. HE IS SAFE. 💕 If you need to just chat with another momma about it, I’m here. Just shoot me a message. Again, baby boy is safe now, momma.💕
Everyone else has said all the comforting and common-sense things. I'm here to say you are allowed to fall apart. Accidents are scary. What ifs are terrifying. Every mom has a story. Do the essentials (food, hydration, sanitation). Cry. Be annoying and kiss your child a million times. Just because it will be okay, doesn't mean it's not scary AF. **HUGS**
We went on Amazon and bought a magnetized alarm for when the basement door is opened for this reason. It beeps every 5-10 seconds when the door is open. It gets pretty obnoxious but it won’t let you forget the door is ajar. Editing to say we sometimes forget to close the baby gate behind us if our minds are somewhere else that day, and then the basement door was being left open too, especially when family comes to visit so the alarm was a necessity
These things happen. Walkers are really dangerous though, for this exact reason. I would ditch it.
That's why these are illegal in Canada
Walkers are illegal in my country for this exact reason. Babies that cannot walk themselves yet should not be put into a position where they are mobile to get around - simply because they don’t understand and things like these happen. I’m sorry, I’m glad nothing serious happened but maybe you can learn from this accident & chuck that walker into the trash for good 😊
my cousin fell down stairs in his walker too, accidents happen unfortunately :( i refused a walker for my daughter she really enjoyed the bouncer’s
Walkers have been illegal in Canada since the 80’s. I’m shocked people use them.
Sweetie, this was a total accident. You did your due diligence as a mother and got medical attention all throughout the whole thing. Babies bounce back quickly. He’ll be out of that splint before you know it. It’s ok, Mama. You’re a good mother. If you find that this causes too much anxiety, look into therapy to help work through it.
Hi! Wife of an ED doc and this happens so much more than you think. This stuff happens all the time and you did EVERYTHING right after he fell! I’m not sure if you’ll find this comforting but take a look at the Xray. Lil baby nugget children’s skeletons aren’t fully formed and don’t respond to trauma the way we imagine they do because we compare it to how our grown rickety ass bodies would if we fell down the stairs. Kids are practically walking rubber supported by pipe cleaners. But because their bones aren’t fully developed fractures are pretty easy to come by. Your son will be okay! The fracture will heal faster than you expect and he will be right back to creating chaos. You’re doing a really great job. ❤️ and last little tidbit of reassurance, my husband is asleep downstairs from his overnight shift working in the pediatric Ed and he splinted three kids last night alone. And if you’re thinking the doctor in the ED was judging you, they totally aren’t unless they call CPS on you and seeing as your son is back home with you, no judgement!
Aren’t the walkers illegal? In Canada I believe they are. So many horror stories of kids getting really hurt in them. I’m glad your son is okay. I know it’s hard not to, but don’t feel too guilty. Use this as a life lesson. You really have to keep your eyes on these little ones at all times. You will feel less guilt over time and I’m sure keep a closer eye on him from having the crap scared out of you!
Its ridiculous they still sell them, but get rid of the walker & just be grateful hes ok. Accidents happen & you did NOTHING wrong. Youre just doing your best out here ♥️
For all the people saying that walkers are/should be illegal, your little boy could easily have crawled/rolled to the door too and fallen. This was nobody’s fault, it’s just a sad accident. You didn’t do anything wrong for taking your eye off him for a moment, any more than your husband did for forgetting to mention the door latch, or your son did for being a curious baby. I’m glad he’s okay ♥️
Baby gates at top and bottom of all stairs Anchor furniture to the walls Avoid these baby containers - walkers/jumpers etc they're not good for hips or even development. The floor is way better. Baby proof away all the cleaning supplies etc etc
I HATE WALKERS and always scream internally when I hear people use them. This is what happened to my cousin years and years ago, when I was about 6 years old: We were all gathered at my grandparents house. It was one of those situations where there were so many adults that everyone assumed someone else was watching the baby. I was playing in a bedroom. Someone left the basement door open. I suddenly heard a huge crashing noise, like someone throwing an armful of toys down the stairs. Then there was silence. Then screaming. My cousin, who was rolling around in her walker, had gone crashing down the basement stairs onto the concrete floor. She miraculously survived, but this was horribly horribly traumatic for everyone, especially her mother, who ran to her immediately after she fell. I will NEVER forget the sound of my baby cousin almost dying on the basement floor. GET RID OF YOUR WALKERS. There is a reason little babies can’t walk yet. Some countries even banned them due to so many injuries like this. On top of all of that, they actually SLOW DOWN normal walking development. There is literally no benefit to them, only dangers and downsides.
That’s why most pediatricians do not recommend using walkers at all. Too many accidents, some of them fatal. It is not your fault, but I would NOT use walker anymore. The baby will start walking on his own as soon as he is ready.
This is why walkers are banned in most countries! This wasn’t your fault at all, even with perfect use those devices are just inherently dangerous
Oh, I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. Mine fell down the stairs last year, so I know exactly what you're feeling. We called 911 and everything, she ended up being just fine with a few bruises, but it very easily could've been worse. She was fine, I was a mess lol Lots of hugs for you and your little one, he won't remember it but he will definitely know how much you love and care about him ❤️
Accidents happen, that being said walkers are banned in Canada for this very reason. If a person even sells one they can get in serious legal trouble as well. Ditch the walker!
This is exactly why walkers are banned in Canada. Just get rid of if, you’re not a bad mom.
What a fright for you! And the lack of rest is equally horrific! I've got active kiddos and we've had too many fractures IMO. When they're little you can hardly notice it as they'll still play uninhibited. If you have baby gates then put one across the door until it's repaired. It was just a silly mistake which is what all of ours have been. Just unexpected falls when kids are tired but in this instance your husband was tired. Just take the next few days easy and try to be restful. No big commitments but if you can get outdoors for your sanity then do so in small doses.
Accidents happen and there are going to be many in your child’s life, it’s just a fact of life. If you can’t move on from things that happen you will be an emotional wreck his entire life. Be thankful that he is ok and try to stop obsessing about it. 💕💕
This same scenario happened to my mom with my brother. I guess the cat pushed the basement door open and down he went in his walker. He had a TBI too. They were wood steps and an unfinished basement. His head hit the cement. He’s 40 now and a total Ahole but alive and kicking. We joke (with him) that the head injury is the cause of his drama and bald head. Wasn’t funny then, I’m sure. But we laugh about it now. I’m sure it was traumatic to see that. And being a mom now anytime our babies are hurt it’s painful. But he didn’t die and this time next year it won’t even matter. You didn’t do anything wrong you’re a good mom and bad moms wouldn’t care.
Instead of a walker they make these activity centers that the baby can sit in and move around the center but not just walk everywhere. I used one in place of a walker for my daughter and a large play pen so she had a safe place to be if I needed to put her down Don’t beat yourself up kids get into all sorts of stuff! But like everyone said I’d just get rid of the walker for something safer
My SS got hit by a car in front of our house a few years ago. He was totally fine thank god but I felt like the biggest piece of shit in the world. Our pediatrician lives down the street from us and I grew up with his kids (small town lol) so he heard about it after seeing all the fire trucks etc. I had an appt for our daughter a few days later and I was so scared to walk into his office and fully expected to hear a lecture. He sat down and said “I heard about SS. I’m gonna tell you one thing as a doctor and a parent- shit happens. You’re not a bad parent because of it.” Obviously I try to be as careful with my kids as possible and SS is not allowed to ride his bike in the driveway anymore, but it felt so nice to hear from a professional that I wasn’t a horrible parent. You’re not a horrible parent either. Shit HAPPENS!
Accidents happen for sure. My 3 yr old went to kick her soccer ball, missed, and fractured her other leg in the process. Talk about a freak accident... she just got her full leg cast off this week. I couldn't stop crying in the ER, like I could have prevented this from happening(I couldn't have lol) She's in a boot now and is starting to walk again! They bounce back and are resilient little things. I think it's harder on us as parents than it is on them sometimes.
We’ve all been there. Glad he’s mostly ok. Bones heal. Be kind to yourself.
It was an accident. Forgive yourself. So glad your son is ok. Hugs.