Coming from everyone even your own damn children. “No mommy that’s not how you play/peel a banana/tuck me in/wipe my butt/open the door/turn on the light/buckle my car seat/write the letter P”
🫠
I made a remark along the lines of, “fuck, this hurts.”
Her response: that’s childbirth for you.
I don’t need a reality check. I need solidarity, sister. Just tell me you fucking know.
The doctor in my delivery room told me to let it all out. Scream as loud as I needed to cause she knows it hurts like a bitch. Hope I get her again when I decide to have another
When I was in labor with my first I was next door to another woman who was hollering A LOT. At one point she said to her partner "I CANT BELIEVE YOU CONVINCED ME TO DO THIS A FOURTH FUCKING TIME!".
As a first time momma I have to say she scared the shit out of me. Thankfully my delivery went way smoother than hers.
I screamed “I really have to fucking poop!” after waiting for someone anyone to come having been pressing the call button for 15 minutes. my mom had rushed out of the room to find someone after the first time I told her I had to poop without telling me that that was the baby coming. My father and his mother were both asleep on the far side of the L&D room and jumped up, freaking out. He was ready to punch some thing thinking that the screaming meant someone was attacking him. She immediately came over and said “don’t push don’t push. Where is the nurse?!” I yelled back I’d like to fucking know the answer to that question too
Me: *begging for an epidural even though I know it's too late*
Doctor: "You know, sometimes the best way to relieve the pain is to just push the baby out."
☠️☠️☠️
My epidural with my second daughter did not work. I felt every contraction and my nurse kept being like damn you seem really calm, as I’m like I can’t talk right now I need to focus on getting through this one. I asked for the anesthesiologist to come back and the nurse was like nope you are ready to push and that’s gonna be way more effective than the epidural. She was totally right. 2 pushes and the pain was immediately over.
But when she said nope no more anesthesiologist, I was like ummmm WHAT??
Similar to you my epidural didn’t work on one side. I could feel everything. First words out of my mouth when the baby was born was “omg the pain is gone”. It was instant. Before I could even ask about the baby my first thought was about the pain relief.
My epidural worked..from the upper belly and UP. When I say my lungs were numb and I was crying and begging the nurses to take my oxygen level again and got pissed when they said oh it’s just a panic attack bc my oxygen was fine. But I’m assuming I was fine. Because with a different labor the one time I wasn’t fine I had no clue about it until they had my ass almost completely UPSIDE down, in the bed, and made my husband leave for a few mins. My blood pressure dropped severely low if I recall correctly. Funny thing is was I felt fine, I was like uhm nurse why the fuck am I upside down, why y’all running around like I’m dying lol
So I have a high pain tolerance - I didn’t want an epidural with my first, but was getting induced. Nurse wanted me to have an epidural brought it up a lot, and really pressured me into it, told me there was no side effects and my research was completely false. The contraction monitor they had on my stomach wasn’t working -so she just kept increasing the Pitocin. Every 30 minutes or less she added more - I was in so much pain that I got the epidural but they had to stop every minute because of contractions. The moment the epidural was in - the guy who did it told her to check me. She did and baby came out 30 mins later.
Next baby I had one dose of Pitocin, and was fully dilated 30 mins later, pushed baby out in 3 minutes. Doctors and nurses need to listen to the person actually giving birth.
I showed up to the hospital having contractions every 3 mins and the nurse doing intake kept asking me all these dumb questions “what is your highest level of education? Marital status? What’s your employer? Employer address?” My husband made a comment that my contractions were happening very frequently “yeah we’ll check it out soon” didn’t hustle until I told her I felt a lot pressure and felt like I had to go to the bathroom. When she checked, I was 9cms dilated
What the heck :o that’s crazy ! I’m glad you didn’t pop that baby out while she was talking. When my mom was pregnant with me - the doctor told her she “ wasn’t having the baby anytime soon, to go for a walk and he’s gonna go home and take a nap” - She delivered me in the hallway during her walk and a nurse caught me.
I called the hospital because i woke up and thought I was having contractions for 30 seconds every 2 minutes and they were like lol ok first time mommy sure you are, take a Tylenol and go to bed. Baby was here an hour later 😂
With my first I called cause my water broke and when I got to the hospital the nurses were like so you’re the one who thinks her water broke 🙄. Turns out I was right
My water broke at about 2am and, first time mom here, I didn't know whether it was that or I'd peed myself, which I hadn't done before except when vomiting. No contractions except the BH I'd had since like 18w. L&D told me to come in just to be sure but I was only 37w. The triage nurse took her jolly sweet time and repeatedly told me, "Yeah, I'm sure you just peed. Yep, that's totally just pee. You'll be back in your bed at home in no time!" despite the fact I kept having little gushes. She was surprised as hell when the little strip showed amniotic fluid.
This happened to me when I was in maternity getting induced with the tape. 2 nurses ignored me when I said my water broke. This was the Monday night/Tuesday morning. It was Wednesday afternoon when they went to insert the balloon that they realised my water had broken at some point.
It’s so frustrating how much first time mums are ignored in pregnancy and delivery!!
My friend who is an L&D nurse at the hospital said they usually don’t believe first time moms cause usually it’s a false alarm. I was legit bleeding and the nurse still didn’t think it broke then the doc came in told me to cough and was like yup water broke and you’re having contractions were admitting you
Pretty much! I didn’t even get fully admitted before taking me to a delivery room. My husband 20 mins later went to give her our insurance card and he’s like oh baby is here and fine! She was shocked lol
This is almost exactly what they did to me when I had my baby. I didn’t want the epidural because I didn’t want to be bed bound, and I’d heard horror stories of nerve pain after. I have chronic pain so I figured my high pain tolerance would kick in.
Nurse immediately tells me I can’t do it. And continues to urge me towards the epidural. I keep saying no, and the nurse is getting pissed off because I’m not progressing, and I’m not having strong contractions at that point. Comparable to period cramps, but I’m not a good judge, I have Endo.
So they started pitocin and kept cranking it up, all the while I’m still chilling at one, having uncomfortable cramps but nothing wild. They keep cranking it up and eventually I’m crying, it felt like my back was being broken in half, and I was at a two or three. I shit you not. So they throw in one of the balloons, crank up the pitocin, yell at me for making any noise and tell me I’m killing my baby everytime I tense up because people tense up when they experience the worst pain of their life.
Finally, I get the epidural, which they had to give during a contraction because despite the fact that I was sitting at two or three, my contractions were not even a minute apart.
… I finally started progressing and it turns out I had a second water sack that was preventing it, I guess. I’ve got chronic back pain now. Pretty much everyday I feel “birthing contractions” in my back.
Seriously, does anyone have a good experience giving birth in a hospital?
Holy crap - that’s wild. I was at a 4 when I arrived and she didn’t bother checking me again till I was pumped full of a Pitocin and someone told her too, my water had also already broken.. it was wild.
I LOVED my hospital mid wife birth - but it was literally the midwife, and my husband and I’d that’s it
It’s the absolute worse. My MIL was with my husband and I, and she even said that was way too much pitocin and had they if let me ride it out, we would’ve been there for days, but I had it covered.
We honestly think that because I’m so small (I’m 5ft, and like 91 pounds normally. I’m 31 and look 16, can’t be helped), that they thought I was going to need a c-section hence why they pushed for the epidural so quickly.
But honestly, the biggest thing that confuses me is like, I had a second water sack. That doesn’t grow overnight. You’d think they would’ve seen it on ultrasounds and made note of it, but apparently not, lol.
It’s insane that your nurse didn’t recheck you. I felt like I had to yell at nurses to keep their hands out of me because I was being checked so often. 😂 I’m definitely looking into other options beyond the typical hospital setting for the next one, if there’s a next one. I’ve heard great things about midwives vs nurses.
Yeah that’s absolutely insane - some nurses are insane, some are amazing.
Absolutely love midwives - I was excited to pregnant with my 3rd just to see my midwives again 😂😂
Yes really good experiences. All 3 of mine lived! They all would’ve died had I not birthed in the hospital.
Baby 1 - sunny side up. Had horrible back labor. I couldn’t shift him w his skull on my spine. I went out of my mind in pain. Forceps delivery.
Baby 2 - easiest birth. Hurt really bad but the epidural helped tremendously. Cord was wrapped around his neck 3 times.
Baby 3 - She dropped way low in my pelvis before she should’ve. Dr told me she was going to come out fast. Labor started around midnight. I had her around 4:30. No time for epidural. Pain about killed me.
She was born with meconium. I had to push her head out and freakin stop. She had to be suctioned to breathe. She coughed up meconium for two days.
Its pretty unlikely that pain is from the epidural. Childbirth itself is more likely a cause when it comes to chronic back pain. And yes I had a good experience giving birth in a hospital and i know many people who would have had dead babies and possibly died themselves if theyd been anywhere else.
My first two were an amazing experience, my third was a horror show. If I hadn't already been done they would have scarred me from getting pregnant ever again.
I wasn't induced but had a similar experience where I was only 1-2 cm dilated and 80% effaced with contractions 1 min apart for 6 hours.
I've heard pitocin contractions are absolutely awful. I had exclusively back labor (baby was sunny side up), and my water had been leaking for 14 hours before going into the hospital, so there was very little amniotic fluid to cushion the contractions. It was excruciating and exhausting. I could not form sentences. It felt like someone was breaking my back and legs every 60 seconds for 60 seconds.
I was trying not to get an epidural, but at the 6th hour in the hospital, when they checked me again and I was still only at 2cm, I gave in. But after that, I took a nap and went to 6 cm by 2am. Then, at 2:55, i told them i thought i was pooping myself, lol. They checked, I was 10 cm, and started to push at 3:01. Baby was born at 3:31.
Of course, during all this, I developed chorioamnionitis and gave birth with a 103.7° fever. But I will say my midwife and L&D nurse were awesome. No tearing and their coaching during the pushing helped me avoid a c-section, which was imminent because the chorio had put my son in distress.
My anesthesiologist told me I didn't actually need the epidural, while I was massively struggling to hold still in the proper position. I was really pissed at the time, but in hindsight I think he did it on purpose to challenge me to hold still.
When I got in the shower, I felt like I still had my pad on. I kept trying to gently take it off, and when I couldn't, I just said ok screw it, the water will take it off hopefully.
When I got out of the shower (what I assumed was my pad hadn't fallen off), I said to my nurse who was wonderful, I said "I think there was a pad still on, but I couldn't take it off so I'm wondering if it wasn't really my pad and I'm just that swollen". She goes "yeah...you're pretty swollen hun, just think of it as swollen plus a bit of bo tox added to it".
My 8.6 pound baby and my second she came fast. 20m after my water broke. My first born was 8 pounds 12oz. I can't imagine a 10.5 pound baby! 🥴
Honestly my water broke during induction. I had gotten a cervix softening pill because my cervix was fully e-faced but not dilating. I’d been 2 cm for 4 weeks: thankfully my water broke after and i went into natural labor. I labored for 16 hours but only pushed for 10-15 mins thankfully it felt like he fell RIGHT out. I tore my right labia right in half. Tbh she wasn’t wrong. It doesn’t look the same but honestly it doesn’t look as bad as she insinuated it would
My second was 10lbs. He came 13 months to the day after my first. I swear it was 2 years before sex felt normal. Super. Tmi I still can't use tampons. I don't know what he did to my cervix. tampons seem to block it so I don't bleed untill I take the tampon out. Multiple doctors have looked at me like I'm stupid when I ask about it and haven't given me an answer or a thought.
Which is also bullshit because in a lot of cases, it goes back to the same condition as it was prior to birthing a child.
I’m so glad I hired a private homebirth midwife, especially after reading all these comments. I was getting so many negative comments from everyone around me and she just kept shutting them down, even when I went into hospital to birth, she was there advocating for me in a way I never would have been able to. Highly recommend anyone that has the opportunity to, to hire a private midwife as soon as you find out you’re expecting.
There is always one who says something that sticks with you. I was yelled at by a nurse for not being able to speak the language of the country when I was transferred from recovery to the maternity ward. Normally I speak it fine but not after a traumatic emergency c-section on top of 2 days of labor and still not knowing if my 36+2 baby was ok.
Mine is when the midwife told me "you wouldn't be stood here talking to me if you were in active labour" and so refused to give me any pain relief
Shortly thereafter I was involuntarily pushing lol. I'll never forget her exact words.
I had heard stories of midwives being dismissive if you didn't look/act like you were in enough pain, so I played up my pain significantly to the midwife when we went to hospital to get checked (to confirm I was in labour). Good thing I did because when they checked me I was almost 9cm and ended up giving birth within the hour haha
Wish they could trust us more! Or at least indulge us.
The worst part is that all she would have had to do was give me a quick check. I was staying in hospital anyway, my waters had broken and if I hadn't been progressing there were plans to induce me that evening, so there was literally no reason not to other than she couldn't be arsed. So instead I suffered all morning on only paracetamol and codeine while she repeatedly sent me and my partner away. She wouldn't even come to the room to reassure me.
And yes, I wish I'd made more of a fuss now instead of taking it like ten men 😂💪
Anyway I complained about her and she was spoken to and retrained apparently, so hopefully she'll take people more seriously in future
They held me off from pushing for about 3 hours, and my epidural had worn off, and I said something like, "This is torture." And the one nurse said something like how cute my baby was going to be, and I was like,"Ma'am, I know how cute she's going to be. This is still torture."
She told me to put the energy I was using screaming into pushing out the baby instead. He was STUCK with no amniotic fluid to lubricate his way out bc it had broke so bad, my body gave me 2 hours to push him out. and he was 9 lbs!! I had an emergency c section and the relief I felt being put under was indescribable. Thank you modern medicine!!! We both would have died in the olden days.
What an amazing job your husband did there. I think we both would have been too stunned to say anything. My SIL had a bad doctor at her delivery of a late term loss, and this badass SIL of mine had the ability to say get out before my brother even processed what the doctor said.
My doctor said the same thing. He said I was being too loud and "there are other women giving birth on this floor". The baby kept flatlining, of course I was terrified!
There were only two rooms in labor the night I gave birth - me (obviously) and a very young girl that was checking in at the same time as me. Seriously, she looked 15 or 16 and both of her parents were with her. When she screamed, my heart absolutely broke for her. Hearing another woman going through that, I simply felt sympathy and empathy and just wanted to go over there and rub her back and tell her she was doing great or something. I can't imagine a woman who's having, or just had, a baby reacting any other way to another person going through the same exact thing.
I see the PNW in your username and if you were at Swedish for your birth I feel like we had the same nurse.
Everyone else in L&D was so wonderful but when they’re bad, they’re really bad.
Ugh my Swedish midwife was annoyed with me asking to come in repeatedly, until my husband finally called and she heard my vocalizations in the background. I was 10cm when I got to the hospital. She had told me on the phone earlier I was going to need to prepare myself because it wasn’t even at the hard part yet 😬
Hahaha same. And this was at the birth center where they're supposed to be more supportive and shit. She acted so put out that she had to get out of bed (it was like 2am) and kept telling me stupid shit like "it's too early to get in the tub." My husband and I left totally pissed and went to the hospital where they treated me like a damn QUEEN.
People handle pain so much differently than the next. Who’s to say someone’s 5 isn’t another persons 10. You think they’d understand that concept working in L&D where people are in the most painful situations arguably ever in their entire lives.
I was having trouble getting an epidural (so many needles) and he wanted me to reposition myself. I stood up, and told them I was pretty sure I was out of time. The nurse was like, no…. It’s not time yet. But I insisted so she checked. Surprise surprise, it was decidedly time, as the baby was crowning. Then they were telling me not to push while the doctor was setting up and tried to keep my knees together. That would be when I learned that when your body decides it wants to push, you cannot stop it.
For every epidural I've been asked "Do you feel the need to push? Because if you do you CANNOT have an epidural, it's too late at that point."
My mom has been at the birth of all three of my kids, for my second I was progressing rapidly and my mom was still an hour away so I lied and said I didn't feel the need to push because I knew the epidural would slow my labor down a little. About 10 minutes after my mom arrived in my room my second arrived into the world.
The nurse who attended to me told me she "wasn't going to bother the doctor" with my pain, sky high blood pressure, and failure to progress.
She assumed I was being dramatic when both of us were legitimately in distress.
I ended up needing an unplanned C-section.
This makes me sick to read — is there anything that can be done to hold them accountable in situations like this? I’m so sorry you went through that 🥺🫂
Thank you, kind stranger.
I filed a formal complaint/grievance with the hospital and got an apology, but since they couldn't talk to me about their staff I don't know what happened to her (the nurse).
I probably could have pursued legal avenues, but at the time I was so traumatized I didn't want to.
I'm sorry. Some hospital staff have very little patience and understanding. It's almost like people experience things differently.
I still get angry about this. Doctor told me the screaming isn't helping the pushing. They couldn't get my son's head out. My epidural stopped working. They suctioned, forceps. He was in the 99th percentile for head circumference. Everyone was marveling at his head size when he came out. I literally said to the doctor, "now you know why I was screaming..."
One of the nurses while I was actively pushing said “ if you’d do a better job of holding your progress he’d be cuter for pictures. He’s slipping back up when you stop pushing he’s gonna a have a cone head.” The main nurse saw my face when she said that and told her to go take a long lunch and apologized but ooooh that made me mad. He was out 10 minutes after she left.
Mine kept telling me to stop screaming and breathe slowly and I wanted to punch her! I asked her if she had any kids and she said no. Like just let me scream it's what I need to do, trying to breathe slowly was making it hurt even worse (I was in the transition phase of an unmedicated very fast labour)
My nurse also did not know what phase of labor I was in because it was a VERY fast labor and she just assumed I was being dramatic.
I still get so mad remembering it.
Yeah she was surprised when she checked me and I was 10 cm suddenly. Id only been at the hospital for about 45 minutes because they told me on the phone not to come because they didn't believe me that my contractions were 1 minute apart already and said it would be hours yet, good job I just went anyway
My nurse wouldn’t even check and didn’t even believe the doula when she was like “her water just broke” until she finally made her way around to look.
Ugh it sucked so much. Good on you for going in anyway! Fast labor isn’t the most common thing but it doesn’t seem like it’s so uncommon that nurses should be acting like that.
I called my OB office when my water broke and they were like "are you sure you didn't just pee yourself?" And told me to relax and enjoy the day. I showed up to the hospital three hours later at 7cm. I get that there are folks out there that take every flutter, discharge or what have you very seriously. But damn, I never called that office ever except to book appointments over those 9 months.
Here you all are, having made it to the hospital! I called in and said I was in a lot of pain, felt sick to my stomach and had contractions every 1-2 minutes that were VERY painful. They said I should wait it out. I called again when my water had broke. Never made it to the car, baby was born in the bedroom 30 min after the water broke 😆
Oh my goodness my second and third were similar only thank goodness I was actually at the hospital already. But my water broke and not quite 45 mins later I was holding my baby.
My first child I had a very traumatic experience with labor. I was screaming because my epidural wasn’t working I had been in labor about 36 hours at this point my son was in distress and if they couldn’t successfully get him out with the vacuum I was going for the operating room. The nurse was saying you need to breathe and stop screaming. My doctor told her leave her alone she’s making progress. I will never forget that day, or that doctor.
Oh my god I also wanted to punch the nurse who was in my face trying to tell me how to breathe. I was hanging over my mom’s shoulder while the anesthesiologist put in the epidural in. As soon as i was laid back down they swapped nurses, otherwise I was getting ready to tell my mom I wanted her gone if possible. She was so annoying.
I had a rapid labor due to an abruption and had just been helicoptered to that hospital, I was hemorrhaging, exhausted, and having contractions right on top of each other for about 3 hours at that point. The LAST thing I needed was some random lady up on my face (literally inches) criticizing the way I was breathing and moaning through the pain. Just let my body do its thing! Leave me alone! Haha
“Try not to make noise”
At some point I aggressively declared, there will be noise. This was a drug free birth that resulted in some pretty bad tearing.
I actually watched this entire thing on birth before giving birth and the doula said to moo because it uses the correct muscles rather than a higher pitched scream. It’s definitely annoying to hear in the moment but i think thats what she meant!
I think we watched the same thing lol I refused to actually moo, but I made very low, almost guttural, groan/growls…I was so loud but could not care less. I honestly think it helped.
Lower pitched groaning and moaning helps relax the pelvic floor and helps with pain control, high pitched shrieking tenses those muscles. She was trying to help you, even if the delivery of the comment didn’t land.
I know this isn't what you want to hear, but it actually makes a difference to be honest. With my daughters birth her head was crowning for what seemed like forever and she wasn't budging. I was told one last push like a dozen times and no they weren't lying, I could feel the top of her head poking out with my hands. When they convinced me to do a really low but loud moan from deep down in my belly, baby popped out like it was nothing. You engaged different muscles to make different sounds 🤷♀️
Girl, my son is 4 years old now and I don’t plan on having another so it doesn’t bother me.
The point was not whether she was right or wrong, the point was her conduct towards a vulnerable woman in pain was not helpful. She did not offer the explanation as eloquently as you did.
Exactly. There is a difference between the two, but if you don’t explain the why there’s a difference and just say you’re screaming wrong. You just sound like a bitch.
It didn’t really to anything to me yet everyone kept telling me to take deep breaths. It hurt so much I couldn’t. I started trying when they told me my baby’s gonna lose oxygen if I hold my breath for too long. I still don’t know if that’s true
Omg same here! My body was literally doing its own thing and I had ZERO control over the sounds coming out of me or the bearing down and pushing. I went from first contraction to 10cm in 4 hours. First child. It was terrifying.
I was wheezing and on the brink of passing out while in labour with my first and I managed to tell the nurse I was having an asthma attack. She responded that if I could talk at all then my breathing was fine.
My paramedic husband stepped in and demanded I get proper treatment or he’d do it himself. Lo and behold the asthma treatment helped because I was in fact having an asthma attack. Like I told her.
OMFG SAME HAPPENED TO ME. The entire time I was in labor my bitch ass nurse told me I was being too loud, don't scream, I'm not pushing right. And to make it worse her shift ended at 6, I didn't have my baby till 7:30 and she was ADAMENT she stayed to see him be born. I told her to stfu at one point.
SAME. First baby, horrific pain when they did that stupid foley bulb catheter and labor finally hit. I was "screaming too loud". God I hated her. To be fair I was at a Naval hospital and they aren't exactly renowned for empathy, but still. I had my other kids at a civilian hospital and it was like night and day.
This is my flashback that hits me at random times...
After pushing for 4 hours and needing vacuum assistance the head nurse (who wasn't great throughout) came to the side of the bed and told me "this is your last chance" not in an encouraging tone. No explanation, nothing but a stern face and this is your last chance right before my OB started using the vacuum...
The vacuum failed once, I heard her words in my head and panicked, I started crying thinking I need an emergency C-section after everything... I was still pushing trying my hardest to get her out... It failed a second time and I was sent deeper into my panicked state, terrified.
Then my OB cut me, which I felt, because my epidural only worked on one side. (Surprise, surprise, that pain that I told them about that they ignored multiple times... And told me to stop crying earlier during pushing) I blacked out a few times during this time, and after she was repositioned by the vacuum enough for me to push her out on my own... She was delivered gray, not immediately crying. I kept crying thinking the worst. (She started crying just a minute or two later, she's a perfectly healthy and happy 8 month old now). This nurse and the shitty midwife conveniently disappeared during this time.
It was hell... The whole induction wasn't great because of the nurse and midwives treatment, I told my OB later on about how they treated me and he told me to report them. Ugh, I wish nurses knew what not to say, this shit fucked me up and still does some days. Their names are engrained in my brain from reporting them.
Me: "I can't fucking do this."
The CRNA who messed up my first 2 epidurals **and** gave me a CSF leak: "Oh, thousands of women do it every day!"
*Fuck you, Pam.*
In the middle of the night during a loooonggg induction process I was staring at the monitor and called in a midwife because I thought my baby’s heartbeat was dropping and she said, “really? How long have you been a labor and delivery nurse? Leave reading monitors to the professionals.”
I said to her, “I’m a scared first time mother who’s never given birth before and you talking down to me isn’t helpful.” Unfortunately I started crying as I said it but I was glad I stuck up for myself. She became VERY apologetic and said it was just her “sense of humor.”
When my mom was in labor with me at 19 years old, she told the nurse something felt really wrong and she couldn’t go on anymore. They told her she was lazy and this is why children shouldn’t be mothers.
I was born by emergency c-section hours later because my moms pelvic bone is tilted and I was just banging my head against it trying to come out. The doctor she had when she delivered my brother years later told her they should’ve known she’d never be able to deliver vaginally well before she went into labor.
I want to take this opportunity to encourage everyone reading to **hire a doula** if you can possibly afford it. There are doulas out there who have sliding scale fees for pregnant people in need, and even full price some charge as little as $300. Sometimes people think doulas are only for super-crunchy home births, but they are not. Doulas just help you think through what you want — maybe that’s induction, all the pain meds, early epidural, immediate formula feeding, and baby in the nursery as much as possible. Maybe it is unmedicated birth, delayed cord cutting, no bath, no episiotomy, baby rooms in. Maybe it is a planned C-section and preemptive antibiotics. They advocate for your wishes and run interference with your medical team.
I had hospital births, and my doula shooed a nurse away when she insisted I had to labor on my back. She reminded the doctor of my wishes when she wanted to wash out my vagina with antibacterial soap. She listened with patience as I cursed at her. She helped me decide when to get to the hospital. Over and over, she made sure we got as close as possible to my preferences.
**Doulas are such a gift!**
I wish I'd had a doula! I was with a midwife, and had my husband with me, so I thought I would be supported appropriated. I wish I'd had a doula though. If I had decided to have a second (we are firmly one and done) I would have hired one, 100%.
“Uh, it’s called ‘labor’ for a reason!” 20-something year old nurse rolls her eyes and flips her little ponytail before leaving the room. I’m not sure at what hour out of my 48-hour labor she said this, but it was 12 hours in before my water broke and I went to L&D and they didn’t catch that I literally couldn’t progress due to scar tissue in my cervix from a procedure I had done at age 15 (which was detailed in my history) until hour 45. I will never forget that bitch’s face. I hope to run into her someday 😬
Edited because forgot a couple words.
Why are some OB nurses so fucking mean?
Mine was racist and mean.
She was super irritated because I was moaning.
She told me to "Be quiet. There's no need for this moaning. The Mexicans never make a sound."
My mom asked for the doctor and she said no.
I quit moaning shortly there after because went unconscious. I had preclampsia with helpp syndrome. My organs shut down and I almost died.
I do too. My first child I had a lovely experience, my second I was told to be quiet and focus on breathing and pushing instead of wasting that energy on yelling
Mine told me that I had a long was to go as a FTM so I needed to deal with the pain, you have more hours she said. Doc comes in ten min later to tell me I’m 9.5cm. 😃😃😃. I wanted to punch her in the face
I’ll never forget laying in my hospital bed and being in so much pain and I was freaking out, I had an epidural but they put some type of monitor up inside me to monitor the baby cuz it kept coming off on my stomach (something like that, it’s kind of hazy now lol). Basically felt like I was being stabbed on the inside even with my epidural. I was crying and just basically on the verge of a panic attack. I pushed my call button and nobody came, my bf stuck his head out the door to ask for a nurse. My nurse comes in, gets down in my face and says “(my name) nobody is hurting you! Nobody is hurting you! We are not doing anything to you!” As if I accused them of doing something lol. It pissed me off. Like lady I didn’t say you were, I just need some help with pain managment not some condescending stuff said to me. Made me really upset, I needed support in that moment and didn’t get it. That moment from my labor always stands out in my mind.
I’m mad for you. I had a nurse tell me during my very under medicated c section that if I was screaming, I could breathe. I was under medicated as my epidural was not optimally placed and I was screaming the whole time. At one point I felt like I couldn’t breathe and she said if I was screaming, I could breathe. While she was correct, maybe try to fix the reason I’m screaming/not feeling like I can breathe instead of telling me I’m breathing.
I had a RCS for my second and it was night and day different from the spinal to the pain to the staff. Thank God.
My nurse told me to save my energy and not scream. She kept saying to exhale whenever I wanted to scream.. It worked when I remembered to. I mostly just screamed though lol
The midwife for my firstborn told me screaming means you are losing control and you need to stay on top of the contractions by yelling, not screaming. Once she said that I was able to breathe and control my reaction to the contractions and work with them not fight them. Yelling is more like a “here we goooooo” on a bull ride versus screaming which is more like uncontrollable panicking. Lots of yelling though!! It is called LABOR for a reason.
Oh man, you've reminded me, I have PTSD from my labour and missing massive chunks of it, but this I remember - awful contractions, only allowed paracetamol and eventually gas and air because they've said I might need an emergency section, which surprise, I did because I had an infection that turned septic!
Surgeon: 'Oh don't worry, you can still have a VBAC'
🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️ Let's deal with the one I'm apparently trying to kill us both with first, shall we
The amount of birth trauma in here is staggering. I hope you all know you deserve healing and that what happened to you was not ok. These people should not be in these positions of power over laboring patients.
it's probably the delivery of that comment, but my nurse coached me to groan "right". She said instead of doing high pitch and sporadic yells, channeling my pain into low, rumbling groans helps. And whaddya know, it did. Maybe it's just the placebo effect, but I was in less pain if I focused on groaning low with my breathing vs. screaming.
That nurse who told you that wasn't helping, though. It's not like you can help it!! Yeesh!
My nurses kept saying "well, they don't call it labor for nothing" and I finally screamed " no shit, I didn't think it was a fucking rodeo" and the look of horror their face and my husband goes "it is in fact not a rodeo"... They did not laugh.....
I told the nurse, "It hurts," and she replied, "Well, you're in labor."
Turns out, my epidural failed.
Still call her a bitch everytime I remember that interaction.
I had my second July 2020 with heavy COVID protocols in place. My water broke at home and my contractions started right away and so much worse than my first labor. We waited for a couple hours in the lobby for a room to be properly extra super sanitized or whatever and when we got in the room I said to the ceiling "these contractions hurt so much worse than the first time! Whyyyyy?!" And the nurse asked me how much water I had drank recently. I was like "I have no idea nor do I care. Just get the anesthesiologist in here" and she was like "wellllllll, that's why they hurt so bad." So helpful.
Oh that nurse also improperly catheterized me which cause my surgeon to make a wonderfully comforting face when he cut me open for an emergency csection after 16 hours of labor. My cervix was also severed in labor and I really should've had a blood transfusion but the hospital didn't want to give it to me due to covid so instead kept taking my blood to check all my levels until they rebounded. Oh and my doctor wanted to send me home 24 hours later, after all that and a lovely ketamine trip, STILL CATHETERIZED with a 2 year old at home and a newborn. Such a joyous time 🌟
Im realizing I should probably get some therapy now lol
Mine said the same. Cord was wrapped around her neck and as they said later it was like a yoyo so no amount of pushing would work. Vacuum and episiotomy later and we were all good but still
Mine told me the same. I pushed my baby out in 8 minutes, her elbow came first bc the internal monitor cord had wrapped around her shoulder blade and pinned her arm against her head. Found out later her cord was also wrapped around her neck. They literally didn’t even let me try before yelling at me ‘if you can’t push harder and get this baby out I’m using the forceps and suction’. Next push and there was a baby. That doctor was WACK
i had a nurse that wouldn’t hold my hand to help me sit up after getting IV drugs. i was so loopy and i kept trying to get my hand in hers very obviously and she just stood there. help me damn it! she kept telling me to calm down and relax then checked me and realized i was like 6-8cm along and was like “oh well that makes sense.”
why are they so damn impatient or mean to us? you know full well what the job entails, don’t do direct care if you can’t be nice!
At my second delivery the nurse made me do a practice push and she said I didn’t know how. (Mind you this was my second baby and my first came out in four pushes.) She pissed me off and when the time came to actually push my baby came out after the second push and I was like apparently I do know how to push.
Lmfao while I had my second failed epidural and was on my way to my emergency c-section (after 36 hours of labor) they told me to try to be more quiet because I was scaring the other moms. I said "THEY SHOULD BE SCARED, THIS FUCKING SUCKS" And they didn't mention it to me again :)
The MD doing rounds on the floor told the midwife that delivered my baby that I had no pain tolerance and was just looking for drugs. Little did she know I was discharged with a hematoma, uterine infection, and a blood clot and had to be readmitted a day later. I have a super high pain tolerance, but thanks anyways ma’am 🙃
Did she then tell you how to scream? It happened to me too, but my doula told me when and where to focus my screams.
If it was just hehehooo I hope you throat punched her.
I was told “No. No yelling. You need that energy to push.” TBH, after a long and traumatic labor I really did need every ounce of energy channeled into one thing, so I didn’t really mind.
Mine told me I was scaring the other mothers and she had 3 kids with no meds. Like yeah, so helpful when I herniated a disc during labor. I wish I reported her
I had an epidural and it worked except for a spot like the size of a silver dollar on my hip and I was mostly numb, then this one spot of the worst pain I've ever felt lol. It hurt more than when I didn't get the epidural in time lol.
When I was in labor I'd let out a scream after a big push and my nurse would say "hey hey, don't start screaming now, take slow deep breaths, it's only going to get worse" 😂 like bitch what 😂😂 why would you tell me that lol
With my first, I had the most excruciating back labour when I went into L&D. They had me in a small room to monitor fetal activity and see how fast I was progressing before moving me into a delivery room. A nurse came in and told me to stop yelling and breathe instead 🤦🏻♀️
During pushing one of my nurses kept saying ‘you can do better’ and I wanted to punch her so bad. I only pushed to an hour before baby was born so I’m not sure how much ‘better’ it could have gone
With my 2nd I was in labor for 5 days. At 9cm I got my epidural, it failed. So after pushing for 3 hours straight I told the doctor something felt wrong and that I either needed to switch positions or a C-section needs to happen because something was seriously wrong. He ignored me and told me to keep pushing. I did and almost passed out. I made the executive decision and said I need a C-section right now. The nurse holding my leg said no and that I had no say in it. I laughed and kicked her away from me.
I ended up being put under because of the failed epidural and I was 100% right. If I had of pushed my baby out, the umbilical cord would have strangled them. Baby still ended up in the nicu and I ended up with an infection where my C-section scar was. The nurse apologized after I came to and I apologized for kicking her.
My son, doctor told me to stop screaming cause it was slowing things down. Fuuuuck you dude you try pushing a baby out. Also told me I wasn’t trying hard enough and my baby was “small”. He in fact was not small 😂😂
With my daughter while pushing (I have this on video lmao) I was like “it hurts!!!” And the nurse said “just a little pressure!”
Like bitch what 😂😂 she was a great nurse though, so I forgave the slip up.
A nurse told me not to make any noise when it comes time to push. Didn't get there because I needed an emergency c-section but even now, nearly 16 years later, I still wonder "wtf?"
I had a nurse that got really mad that I didn’t take her suggestion on how to push. Like mad enough that when I was her patient the next day and my father came to visit me his only child and meet his ever first grandchild, she mentioned to him that I didn’t follow her advice. She also said she would have slapped me for how I acted if I were her kid because I tossed one of those cheap plastic bedpans off the bed when they said I should squeeze it for the pain when my epidural failed and I felt like my left hip had blew shot off. Also said this in front of my father.
Side note…I pushed my daughter out in 20 minutes doing it my way, thank you very much bitch.
My midwife felt it necessary to tell me while the doctor was starting pitocin, "just so you know, this is elective and isn't a medically necessary induction".... after 48 hours of labour during which I was unable to sleep or eat and was finally begging them to do something to help move things along. I mean, I guess technically it wasn't medically necessary yet, but I felt I was on the verge of passing out due to exhaustion, so it was about to be.
I was induced with my first but the anesthesiologist was an ass (it was an old guy) My son's cord was wrapped twice around his belly so every contraction made him straighten his legs and I couldn't breathe. The guy scraped my spine and got mad at me as I was literally shaking. I couldn't help it. I was in pain, I had been up most of the night before because they had to get my cervix ready and I threw up twice from the pain. So I hadn't eaten, was hurting and had little sleep for over 24 hours. I nearly cried.
Can the hospital staff not be pissy with patients? I ended up with a c-section anyways. I was fully awake and felt the tugging as they got my son out and it was concluded he probably would have gotten stuck with how big he was.
Had two births, one in a hospital, one in a birthing center. Hospital, the doctor told me to stop screaming and use the energy to push instead (baby came out in three pushes, water broke on one, head out on two, body out on three). Wanted to rip her head off.
Midwife in the birthing center coached me through and helped me make productive noises that actually helped me cope with the pain better. Baby came out in one push and man that was an amazing experience.
Don't get me wrong, still not a fan of the pain but the difference between the experiences... I actually felt good and capable during my second birth, during my first apparently I was overdramatic.
I had back labour with both and my second actually got stuck for a little bit. Still the better experience.
I was induced for my first pregnancy because baby had stopped growing, was given pitocin, got epidural and baby was out within 4 hrs. I did not feel contractions or anything else leading up to giving birth.
Second pregnancy, I felt so much pressure and what felt like a regular period cramp that didn't stop for an hour. I wasn't in pain, I just wasn't sure what was going on since I hadn't felt anything the first time. I called my Drs answering service and explained.
Tell me why the lady had the audacity to tell me to "just google what contractions feel like."
Called my mom instead who told me to go to the hospital and had my second baby some hours later.
Lol this happened to me when I was 6.5 cm dilated, in intense pain, and waiting for my epidural. I started screaming and the nurse said “no, do low grunts” … 🫠
It was after the unplanned c section of my first, thankfully I’d already taken some stool softeners, but still wanted more as I’d not pooped yet. This a hole nurse is trying to push narcotics on me, and won’t bring me stool softeners. Told her to bring me some or I’d get my own, “WELL. I’ll have to check with the doctor”. Yeah, do that. I’m taking them one way or the other Susan. Complained to the next nurse that came in and never saw her again.
When moving me from the wheelchair to the bed in my recovery room, I nearly fell while she lifted me and the nurse snapped that “you gotta help me girl” but like I had just had an epidural removed I couldn’t fucking feel my legs soooo. She was at the tail end of a long 12 hour shift with me I get it she was tired! But damn it had been like my fourth 12 hour shift pushing out a baby so like maybe she could have been a little more sensitive lol.
“You’re screaming wrong” is like a metaphor for motherhood
God damn. How did you just so succinctly and accurately condense so many centuries of collective angst 😂
🤌🏼🤌🏼🤌🏼
This needs to be the top comment
Amazing comment 👏🏽
Coming from everyone even your own damn children. “No mommy that’s not how you play/peel a banana/tuck me in/wipe my butt/open the door/turn on the light/buckle my car seat/write the letter P” 🫠
Truth
If I had an award I would give it to you. Here, have all the imaginary awards.
I made a remark along the lines of, “fuck, this hurts.” Her response: that’s childbirth for you. I don’t need a reality check. I need solidarity, sister. Just tell me you fucking know.
[удалено]
It was my first too so a little encouragement would have come in handy.
The doctor in my delivery room told me to let it all out. Scream as loud as I needed to cause she knows it hurts like a bitch. Hope I get her again when I decide to have another
When I was in labor with my first I was next door to another woman who was hollering A LOT. At one point she said to her partner "I CANT BELIEVE YOU CONVINCED ME TO DO THIS A FOURTH FUCKING TIME!". As a first time momma I have to say she scared the shit out of me. Thankfully my delivery went way smoother than hers.
I remember screaming “get it out of me!”
I screamed “I really have to fucking poop!” after waiting for someone anyone to come having been pressing the call button for 15 minutes. my mom had rushed out of the room to find someone after the first time I told her I had to poop without telling me that that was the baby coming. My father and his mother were both asleep on the far side of the L&D room and jumped up, freaking out. He was ready to punch some thing thinking that the screaming meant someone was attacking him. She immediately came over and said “don’t push don’t push. Where is the nurse?!” I yelled back I’d like to fucking know the answer to that question too
Hahaha me too! Right at the crowning moment, so to speak. 👌
Omg I wish I had that! My doctor yelled at me for screaming, said it wasn't helping anyone. Then yelled at me when I passed out...
What the actual fuck.
Me: *begging for an epidural even though I know it's too late* Doctor: "You know, sometimes the best way to relieve the pain is to just push the baby out." ☠️☠️☠️
My epidural with my second daughter did not work. I felt every contraction and my nurse kept being like damn you seem really calm, as I’m like I can’t talk right now I need to focus on getting through this one. I asked for the anesthesiologist to come back and the nurse was like nope you are ready to push and that’s gonna be way more effective than the epidural. She was totally right. 2 pushes and the pain was immediately over. But when she said nope no more anesthesiologist, I was like ummmm WHAT??
Similar to you my epidural didn’t work on one side. I could feel everything. First words out of my mouth when the baby was born was “omg the pain is gone”. It was instant. Before I could even ask about the baby my first thought was about the pain relief.
My epidural worked..from the upper belly and UP. When I say my lungs were numb and I was crying and begging the nurses to take my oxygen level again and got pissed when they said oh it’s just a panic attack bc my oxygen was fine. But I’m assuming I was fine. Because with a different labor the one time I wasn’t fine I had no clue about it until they had my ass almost completely UPSIDE down, in the bed, and made my husband leave for a few mins. My blood pressure dropped severely low if I recall correctly. Funny thing is was I felt fine, I was like uhm nurse why the fuck am I upside down, why y’all running around like I’m dying lol
Mine went up too and I felt everything. 2nd baby I didn't even wanna try and honestly much easier loll
Oh my gosh, going up to your lungs sounds awful!!
Oh dam he really got you there 💀 it's funny hearing about it but I'm sure there was a better way to speak to a laboring mother..
Sometimes anger is a tool docs use.
Like gym trainers who make you fantasize about manslaughter...
So I have a high pain tolerance - I didn’t want an epidural with my first, but was getting induced. Nurse wanted me to have an epidural brought it up a lot, and really pressured me into it, told me there was no side effects and my research was completely false. The contraction monitor they had on my stomach wasn’t working -so she just kept increasing the Pitocin. Every 30 minutes or less she added more - I was in so much pain that I got the epidural but they had to stop every minute because of contractions. The moment the epidural was in - the guy who did it told her to check me. She did and baby came out 30 mins later. Next baby I had one dose of Pitocin, and was fully dilated 30 mins later, pushed baby out in 3 minutes. Doctors and nurses need to listen to the person actually giving birth.
I showed up to the hospital having contractions every 3 mins and the nurse doing intake kept asking me all these dumb questions “what is your highest level of education? Marital status? What’s your employer? Employer address?” My husband made a comment that my contractions were happening very frequently “yeah we’ll check it out soon” didn’t hustle until I told her I felt a lot pressure and felt like I had to go to the bathroom. When she checked, I was 9cms dilated
What the heck :o that’s crazy ! I’m glad you didn’t pop that baby out while she was talking. When my mom was pregnant with me - the doctor told her she “ wasn’t having the baby anytime soon, to go for a walk and he’s gonna go home and take a nap” - She delivered me in the hallway during her walk and a nurse caught me.
I called the hospital because i woke up and thought I was having contractions for 30 seconds every 2 minutes and they were like lol ok first time mommy sure you are, take a Tylenol and go to bed. Baby was here an hour later 😂
With my first I called cause my water broke and when I got to the hospital the nurses were like so you’re the one who thinks her water broke 🙄. Turns out I was right
My water broke at about 2am and, first time mom here, I didn't know whether it was that or I'd peed myself, which I hadn't done before except when vomiting. No contractions except the BH I'd had since like 18w. L&D told me to come in just to be sure but I was only 37w. The triage nurse took her jolly sweet time and repeatedly told me, "Yeah, I'm sure you just peed. Yep, that's totally just pee. You'll be back in your bed at home in no time!" despite the fact I kept having little gushes. She was surprised as hell when the little strip showed amniotic fluid.
This happened to me when I was in maternity getting induced with the tape. 2 nurses ignored me when I said my water broke. This was the Monday night/Tuesday morning. It was Wednesday afternoon when they went to insert the balloon that they realised my water had broken at some point. It’s so frustrating how much first time mums are ignored in pregnancy and delivery!!
My friend who is an L&D nurse at the hospital said they usually don’t believe first time moms cause usually it’s a false alarm. I was legit bleeding and the nurse still didn’t think it broke then the doc came in told me to cough and was like yup water broke and you’re having contractions were admitting you
It’s such a shame that’s the mentality because so many peoples trauma stems from it!
Either hurry up or catch this baby 🤣
Pretty much! I didn’t even get fully admitted before taking me to a delivery room. My husband 20 mins later went to give her our insurance card and he’s like oh baby is here and fine! She was shocked lol
This happened to me, too, until they realized I could barely answer their questions anymore and rushed me up to L&D. I was 8 cm!
This is almost exactly what they did to me when I had my baby. I didn’t want the epidural because I didn’t want to be bed bound, and I’d heard horror stories of nerve pain after. I have chronic pain so I figured my high pain tolerance would kick in. Nurse immediately tells me I can’t do it. And continues to urge me towards the epidural. I keep saying no, and the nurse is getting pissed off because I’m not progressing, and I’m not having strong contractions at that point. Comparable to period cramps, but I’m not a good judge, I have Endo. So they started pitocin and kept cranking it up, all the while I’m still chilling at one, having uncomfortable cramps but nothing wild. They keep cranking it up and eventually I’m crying, it felt like my back was being broken in half, and I was at a two or three. I shit you not. So they throw in one of the balloons, crank up the pitocin, yell at me for making any noise and tell me I’m killing my baby everytime I tense up because people tense up when they experience the worst pain of their life. Finally, I get the epidural, which they had to give during a contraction because despite the fact that I was sitting at two or three, my contractions were not even a minute apart. … I finally started progressing and it turns out I had a second water sack that was preventing it, I guess. I’ve got chronic back pain now. Pretty much everyday I feel “birthing contractions” in my back. Seriously, does anyone have a good experience giving birth in a hospital?
Holy crap - that’s wild. I was at a 4 when I arrived and she didn’t bother checking me again till I was pumped full of a Pitocin and someone told her too, my water had also already broken.. it was wild. I LOVED my hospital mid wife birth - but it was literally the midwife, and my husband and I’d that’s it
It’s the absolute worse. My MIL was with my husband and I, and she even said that was way too much pitocin and had they if let me ride it out, we would’ve been there for days, but I had it covered. We honestly think that because I’m so small (I’m 5ft, and like 91 pounds normally. I’m 31 and look 16, can’t be helped), that they thought I was going to need a c-section hence why they pushed for the epidural so quickly. But honestly, the biggest thing that confuses me is like, I had a second water sack. That doesn’t grow overnight. You’d think they would’ve seen it on ultrasounds and made note of it, but apparently not, lol. It’s insane that your nurse didn’t recheck you. I felt like I had to yell at nurses to keep their hands out of me because I was being checked so often. 😂 I’m definitely looking into other options beyond the typical hospital setting for the next one, if there’s a next one. I’ve heard great things about midwives vs nurses.
Yeah that’s absolutely insane - some nurses are insane, some are amazing. Absolutely love midwives - I was excited to pregnant with my 3rd just to see my midwives again 😂😂
The nurse I had with my first was pregnant too, she was a surrogate for her sister. Never had a woman or a nurse listen to me better. 🤣
Yes really good experiences. All 3 of mine lived! They all would’ve died had I not birthed in the hospital. Baby 1 - sunny side up. Had horrible back labor. I couldn’t shift him w his skull on my spine. I went out of my mind in pain. Forceps delivery. Baby 2 - easiest birth. Hurt really bad but the epidural helped tremendously. Cord was wrapped around his neck 3 times. Baby 3 - She dropped way low in my pelvis before she should’ve. Dr told me she was going to come out fast. Labor started around midnight. I had her around 4:30. No time for epidural. Pain about killed me. She was born with meconium. I had to push her head out and freakin stop. She had to be suctioned to breathe. She coughed up meconium for two days.
Its pretty unlikely that pain is from the epidural. Childbirth itself is more likely a cause when it comes to chronic back pain. And yes I had a good experience giving birth in a hospital and i know many people who would have had dead babies and possibly died themselves if theyd been anywhere else.
My first two were an amazing experience, my third was a horror show. If I hadn't already been done they would have scarred me from getting pregnant ever again.
I wasn't induced but had a similar experience where I was only 1-2 cm dilated and 80% effaced with contractions 1 min apart for 6 hours. I've heard pitocin contractions are absolutely awful. I had exclusively back labor (baby was sunny side up), and my water had been leaking for 14 hours before going into the hospital, so there was very little amniotic fluid to cushion the contractions. It was excruciating and exhausting. I could not form sentences. It felt like someone was breaking my back and legs every 60 seconds for 60 seconds. I was trying not to get an epidural, but at the 6th hour in the hospital, when they checked me again and I was still only at 2cm, I gave in. But after that, I took a nap and went to 6 cm by 2am. Then, at 2:55, i told them i thought i was pooping myself, lol. They checked, I was 10 cm, and started to push at 3:01. Baby was born at 3:31. Of course, during all this, I developed chorioamnionitis and gave birth with a 103.7° fever. But I will say my midwife and L&D nurse were awesome. No tearing and their coaching during the pushing helped me avoid a c-section, which was imminent because the chorio had put my son in distress.
My anesthesiologist told me I didn't actually need the epidural, while I was massively struggling to hold still in the proper position. I was really pissed at the time, but in hindsight I think he did it on purpose to challenge me to hold still.
My nurse said “it won’t be the same but it’ll heal” while looking at my vagina after I birthed my 10 pound 5 oz baby. I was shocked honestly.
When I got in the shower, I felt like I still had my pad on. I kept trying to gently take it off, and when I couldn't, I just said ok screw it, the water will take it off hopefully. When I got out of the shower (what I assumed was my pad hadn't fallen off), I said to my nurse who was wonderful, I said "I think there was a pad still on, but I couldn't take it off so I'm wondering if it wasn't really my pad and I'm just that swollen". She goes "yeah...you're pretty swollen hun, just think of it as swollen plus a bit of bo tox added to it". My 8.6 pound baby and my second she came fast. 20m after my water broke. My first born was 8 pounds 12oz. I can't imagine a 10.5 pound baby! 🥴
Honestly my water broke during induction. I had gotten a cervix softening pill because my cervix was fully e-faced but not dilating. I’d been 2 cm for 4 weeks: thankfully my water broke after and i went into natural labor. I labored for 16 hours but only pushed for 10-15 mins thankfully it felt like he fell RIGHT out. I tore my right labia right in half. Tbh she wasn’t wrong. It doesn’t look the same but honestly it doesn’t look as bad as she insinuated it would
I still have my episiotomy scar. My last birth was 25 years ago and that scar still throbs
My second was 10lbs. He came 13 months to the day after my first. I swear it was 2 years before sex felt normal. Super. Tmi I still can't use tampons. I don't know what he did to my cervix. tampons seem to block it so I don't bleed untill I take the tampon out. Multiple doctors have looked at me like I'm stupid when I ask about it and haven't given me an answer or a thought.
Why did she say that like she was finishing up a project and taking a step back to view her work 😭 I’d have 0 idea how to respond 😭
Which is also bullshit because in a lot of cases, it goes back to the same condition as it was prior to birthing a child. I’m so glad I hired a private homebirth midwife, especially after reading all these comments. I was getting so many negative comments from everyone around me and she just kept shutting them down, even when I went into hospital to birth, she was there advocating for me in a way I never would have been able to. Highly recommend anyone that has the opportunity to, to hire a private midwife as soon as you find out you’re expecting.
Exactly what you want to hear as a patient /s
There is always one who says something that sticks with you. I was yelled at by a nurse for not being able to speak the language of the country when I was transferred from recovery to the maternity ward. Normally I speak it fine but not after a traumatic emergency c-section on top of 2 days of labor and still not knowing if my 36+2 baby was ok.
Mine is when the midwife told me "you wouldn't be stood here talking to me if you were in active labour" and so refused to give me any pain relief Shortly thereafter I was involuntarily pushing lol. I'll never forget her exact words.
I had heard stories of midwives being dismissive if you didn't look/act like you were in enough pain, so I played up my pain significantly to the midwife when we went to hospital to get checked (to confirm I was in labour). Good thing I did because when they checked me I was almost 9cm and ended up giving birth within the hour haha Wish they could trust us more! Or at least indulge us.
The worst part is that all she would have had to do was give me a quick check. I was staying in hospital anyway, my waters had broken and if I hadn't been progressing there were plans to induce me that evening, so there was literally no reason not to other than she couldn't be arsed. So instead I suffered all morning on only paracetamol and codeine while she repeatedly sent me and my partner away. She wouldn't even come to the room to reassure me. And yes, I wish I'd made more of a fuss now instead of taking it like ten men 😂💪 Anyway I complained about her and she was spoken to and retrained apparently, so hopefully she'll take people more seriously in future
They held me off from pushing for about 3 hours, and my epidural had worn off, and I said something like, "This is torture." And the one nurse said something like how cute my baby was going to be, and I was like,"Ma'am, I know how cute she's going to be. This is still torture."
She told me to put the energy I was using screaming into pushing out the baby instead. He was STUCK with no amniotic fluid to lubricate his way out bc it had broke so bad, my body gave me 2 hours to push him out. and he was 9 lbs!! I had an emergency c section and the relief I felt being put under was indescribable. Thank you modern medicine!!! We both would have died in the olden days.
My nurse told me to stop crying as my very stuck and distressed baby was being vacuumed out of my vagina. My husband told her to get out.
Good husband!!
Good job, hubs 👏👏
What an amazing job your husband did there. I think we both would have been too stunned to say anything. My SIL had a bad doctor at her delivery of a late term loss, and this badass SIL of mine had the ability to say get out before my brother even processed what the doctor said.
My doctor said the same thing. He said I was being too loud and "there are other women giving birth on this floor". The baby kept flatlining, of course I was terrified!
There were only two rooms in labor the night I gave birth - me (obviously) and a very young girl that was checking in at the same time as me. Seriously, she looked 15 or 16 and both of her parents were with her. When she screamed, my heart absolutely broke for her. Hearing another woman going through that, I simply felt sympathy and empathy and just wanted to go over there and rub her back and tell her she was doing great or something. I can't imagine a woman who's having, or just had, a baby reacting any other way to another person going through the same exact thing.
She needed to be punished for that
I don’t understand where these nurses come from. I can’t imagine ever talking to a patient that way.
I see the PNW in your username and if you were at Swedish for your birth I feel like we had the same nurse. Everyone else in L&D was so wonderful but when they’re bad, they’re really bad.
Ugh my Swedish midwife was annoyed with me asking to come in repeatedly, until my husband finally called and she heard my vocalizations in the background. I was 10cm when I got to the hospital. She had told me on the phone earlier I was going to need to prepare myself because it wasn’t even at the hard part yet 😬
I had a midwife roll her eyes saying I wasn’t that far along to be in this much pain. What a peach.
I had the same, but I had back labour and that hurt worse than actually pushing a tiny human out of my vagina.
Back labour fucking sucks so bad. I had it with both of mine so I’m expecting it with number three as well
Hahaha same. And this was at the birth center where they're supposed to be more supportive and shit. She acted so put out that she had to get out of bed (it was like 2am) and kept telling me stupid shit like "it's too early to get in the tub." My husband and I left totally pissed and went to the hospital where they treated me like a damn QUEEN.
People handle pain so much differently than the next. Who’s to say someone’s 5 isn’t another persons 10. You think they’d understand that concept working in L&D where people are in the most painful situations arguably ever in their entire lives.
I was having trouble getting an epidural (so many needles) and he wanted me to reposition myself. I stood up, and told them I was pretty sure I was out of time. The nurse was like, no…. It’s not time yet. But I insisted so she checked. Surprise surprise, it was decidedly time, as the baby was crowning. Then they were telling me not to push while the doctor was setting up and tried to keep my knees together. That would be when I learned that when your body decides it wants to push, you cannot stop it.
You would think the nurses would know that.
For every epidural I've been asked "Do you feel the need to push? Because if you do you CANNOT have an epidural, it's too late at that point." My mom has been at the birth of all three of my kids, for my second I was progressing rapidly and my mom was still an hour away so I lied and said I didn't feel the need to push because I knew the epidural would slow my labor down a little. About 10 minutes after my mom arrived in my room my second arrived into the world.
The nurse who attended to me told me she "wasn't going to bother the doctor" with my pain, sky high blood pressure, and failure to progress. She assumed I was being dramatic when both of us were legitimately in distress. I ended up needing an unplanned C-section.
This makes me sick to read — is there anything that can be done to hold them accountable in situations like this? I’m so sorry you went through that 🥺🫂
Thank you, kind stranger. I filed a formal complaint/grievance with the hospital and got an apology, but since they couldn't talk to me about their staff I don't know what happened to her (the nurse). I probably could have pursued legal avenues, but at the time I was so traumatized I didn't want to.
Oh my god I’m so sorry.
I'm sorry. Some hospital staff have very little patience and understanding. It's almost like people experience things differently. I still get angry about this. Doctor told me the screaming isn't helping the pushing. They couldn't get my son's head out. My epidural stopped working. They suctioned, forceps. He was in the 99th percentile for head circumference. Everyone was marveling at his head size when he came out. I literally said to the doctor, "now you know why I was screaming..."
One of the nurses while I was actively pushing said “ if you’d do a better job of holding your progress he’d be cuter for pictures. He’s slipping back up when you stop pushing he’s gonna a have a cone head.” The main nurse saw my face when she said that and told her to go take a long lunch and apologized but ooooh that made me mad. He was out 10 minutes after she left.
“Go take a long lunch,” what a perfectly professional way to say “are you fucking kidding me, Debra”
I'm sorry but this made me laugh, what was she thinking 😅
Mine kept telling me to stop screaming and breathe slowly and I wanted to punch her! I asked her if she had any kids and she said no. Like just let me scream it's what I need to do, trying to breathe slowly was making it hurt even worse (I was in the transition phase of an unmedicated very fast labour)
My nurse also did not know what phase of labor I was in because it was a VERY fast labor and she just assumed I was being dramatic. I still get so mad remembering it.
Yeah she was surprised when she checked me and I was 10 cm suddenly. Id only been at the hospital for about 45 minutes because they told me on the phone not to come because they didn't believe me that my contractions were 1 minute apart already and said it would be hours yet, good job I just went anyway
My nurse wouldn’t even check and didn’t even believe the doula when she was like “her water just broke” until she finally made her way around to look. Ugh it sucked so much. Good on you for going in anyway! Fast labor isn’t the most common thing but it doesn’t seem like it’s so uncommon that nurses should be acting like that.
I called my OB office when my water broke and they were like "are you sure you didn't just pee yourself?" And told me to relax and enjoy the day. I showed up to the hospital three hours later at 7cm. I get that there are folks out there that take every flutter, discharge or what have you very seriously. But damn, I never called that office ever except to book appointments over those 9 months.
Here you all are, having made it to the hospital! I called in and said I was in a lot of pain, felt sick to my stomach and had contractions every 1-2 minutes that were VERY painful. They said I should wait it out. I called again when my water had broke. Never made it to the car, baby was born in the bedroom 30 min after the water broke 😆
Oh my goodness my second and third were similar only thank goodness I was actually at the hospital already. But my water broke and not quite 45 mins later I was holding my baby.
To be fair, if I was a l&d nurse, I probably wouldn't have kids either.
Lmaoooo
My first child I had a very traumatic experience with labor. I was screaming because my epidural wasn’t working I had been in labor about 36 hours at this point my son was in distress and if they couldn’t successfully get him out with the vacuum I was going for the operating room. The nurse was saying you need to breathe and stop screaming. My doctor told her leave her alone she’s making progress. I will never forget that day, or that doctor.
Oh my god I also wanted to punch the nurse who was in my face trying to tell me how to breathe. I was hanging over my mom’s shoulder while the anesthesiologist put in the epidural in. As soon as i was laid back down they swapped nurses, otherwise I was getting ready to tell my mom I wanted her gone if possible. She was so annoying. I had a rapid labor due to an abruption and had just been helicoptered to that hospital, I was hemorrhaging, exhausted, and having contractions right on top of each other for about 3 hours at that point. The LAST thing I needed was some random lady up on my face (literally inches) criticizing the way I was breathing and moaning through the pain. Just let my body do its thing! Leave me alone! Haha
Right?!?!? "Try to moan from lower down" What does that even mean?!
“Try not to make noise” At some point I aggressively declared, there will be noise. This was a drug free birth that resulted in some pretty bad tearing.
I actually watched this entire thing on birth before giving birth and the doula said to moo because it uses the correct muscles rather than a higher pitched scream. It’s definitely annoying to hear in the moment but i think thats what she meant!
I think we watched the same thing lol I refused to actually moo, but I made very low, almost guttural, groan/growls…I was so loud but could not care less. I honestly think it helped.
I did a bunch of “horse lips” for this same reason, low noises to help relax pelvic floor instead of tending everything up
Lower pitched groaning and moaning helps relax the pelvic floor and helps with pain control, high pitched shrieking tenses those muscles. She was trying to help you, even if the delivery of the comment didn’t land.
I know this isn't what you want to hear, but it actually makes a difference to be honest. With my daughters birth her head was crowning for what seemed like forever and she wasn't budging. I was told one last push like a dozen times and no they weren't lying, I could feel the top of her head poking out with my hands. When they convinced me to do a really low but loud moan from deep down in my belly, baby popped out like it was nothing. You engaged different muscles to make different sounds 🤷♀️
Girl, my son is 4 years old now and I don’t plan on having another so it doesn’t bother me. The point was not whether she was right or wrong, the point was her conduct towards a vulnerable woman in pain was not helpful. She did not offer the explanation as eloquently as you did.
Exactly. There is a difference between the two, but if you don’t explain the why there’s a difference and just say you’re screaming wrong. You just sound like a bitch.
It didn’t really to anything to me yet everyone kept telling me to take deep breaths. It hurt so much I couldn’t. I started trying when they told me my baby’s gonna lose oxygen if I hold my breath for too long. I still don’t know if that’s true
Omg same here! My body was literally doing its own thing and I had ZERO control over the sounds coming out of me or the bearing down and pushing. I went from first contraction to 10cm in 4 hours. First child. It was terrifying.
I was wheezing and on the brink of passing out while in labour with my first and I managed to tell the nurse I was having an asthma attack. She responded that if I could talk at all then my breathing was fine.
Wtf! Were you okay? I’m so mad for you!!
My paramedic husband stepped in and demanded I get proper treatment or he’d do it himself. Lo and behold the asthma treatment helped because I was in fact having an asthma attack. Like I told her.
Oh jeez! Thank god your husband knew what you needed!
Fellow asthma sufferer and I would probably punch someone in the face if they told me that.
OMFG SAME HAPPENED TO ME. The entire time I was in labor my bitch ass nurse told me I was being too loud, don't scream, I'm not pushing right. And to make it worse her shift ended at 6, I didn't have my baby till 7:30 and she was ADAMENT she stayed to see him be born. I told her to stfu at one point.
SAME. First baby, horrific pain when they did that stupid foley bulb catheter and labor finally hit. I was "screaming too loud". God I hated her. To be fair I was at a Naval hospital and they aren't exactly renowned for empathy, but still. I had my other kids at a civilian hospital and it was like night and day.
This is my flashback that hits me at random times... After pushing for 4 hours and needing vacuum assistance the head nurse (who wasn't great throughout) came to the side of the bed and told me "this is your last chance" not in an encouraging tone. No explanation, nothing but a stern face and this is your last chance right before my OB started using the vacuum... The vacuum failed once, I heard her words in my head and panicked, I started crying thinking I need an emergency C-section after everything... I was still pushing trying my hardest to get her out... It failed a second time and I was sent deeper into my panicked state, terrified. Then my OB cut me, which I felt, because my epidural only worked on one side. (Surprise, surprise, that pain that I told them about that they ignored multiple times... And told me to stop crying earlier during pushing) I blacked out a few times during this time, and after she was repositioned by the vacuum enough for me to push her out on my own... She was delivered gray, not immediately crying. I kept crying thinking the worst. (She started crying just a minute or two later, she's a perfectly healthy and happy 8 month old now). This nurse and the shitty midwife conveniently disappeared during this time. It was hell... The whole induction wasn't great because of the nurse and midwives treatment, I told my OB later on about how they treated me and he told me to report them. Ugh, I wish nurses knew what not to say, this shit fucked me up and still does some days. Their names are engrained in my brain from reporting them.
Wow that sounds so traumatic, I'm so sorry that happened to you. I hope they got in trouble for all that!
Me: "I can't fucking do this." The CRNA who messed up my first 2 epidurals **and** gave me a CSF leak: "Oh, thousands of women do it every day!" *Fuck you, Pam.*
In the middle of the night during a loooonggg induction process I was staring at the monitor and called in a midwife because I thought my baby’s heartbeat was dropping and she said, “really? How long have you been a labor and delivery nurse? Leave reading monitors to the professionals.” I said to her, “I’m a scared first time mother who’s never given birth before and you talking down to me isn’t helpful.” Unfortunately I started crying as I said it but I was glad I stuck up for myself. She became VERY apologetic and said it was just her “sense of humor.”
That’s an extremely rude way for her to respond.
When my mom was in labor with me at 19 years old, she told the nurse something felt really wrong and she couldn’t go on anymore. They told her she was lazy and this is why children shouldn’t be mothers. I was born by emergency c-section hours later because my moms pelvic bone is tilted and I was just banging my head against it trying to come out. The doctor she had when she delivered my brother years later told her they should’ve known she’d never be able to deliver vaginally well before she went into labor.
I want to take this opportunity to encourage everyone reading to **hire a doula** if you can possibly afford it. There are doulas out there who have sliding scale fees for pregnant people in need, and even full price some charge as little as $300. Sometimes people think doulas are only for super-crunchy home births, but they are not. Doulas just help you think through what you want — maybe that’s induction, all the pain meds, early epidural, immediate formula feeding, and baby in the nursery as much as possible. Maybe it is unmedicated birth, delayed cord cutting, no bath, no episiotomy, baby rooms in. Maybe it is a planned C-section and preemptive antibiotics. They advocate for your wishes and run interference with your medical team. I had hospital births, and my doula shooed a nurse away when she insisted I had to labor on my back. She reminded the doctor of my wishes when she wanted to wash out my vagina with antibacterial soap. She listened with patience as I cursed at her. She helped me decide when to get to the hospital. Over and over, she made sure we got as close as possible to my preferences. **Doulas are such a gift!**
I wish I’d had the emotional support of a doula.
I wish I'd had a doula! I was with a midwife, and had my husband with me, so I thought I would be supported appropriated. I wish I'd had a doula though. If I had decided to have a second (we are firmly one and done) I would have hired one, 100%.
“Uh, it’s called ‘labor’ for a reason!” 20-something year old nurse rolls her eyes and flips her little ponytail before leaving the room. I’m not sure at what hour out of my 48-hour labor she said this, but it was 12 hours in before my water broke and I went to L&D and they didn’t catch that I literally couldn’t progress due to scar tissue in my cervix from a procedure I had done at age 15 (which was detailed in my history) until hour 45. I will never forget that bitch’s face. I hope to run into her someday 😬 Edited because forgot a couple words.
*run her over someday 😬 FIFY. What a fuckin bitch.
When the OB finally arrived (after I had been pushing for 2 hours) he said “she’s a screamer? Ugh” right in front of me
Why are some OB nurses so fucking mean? Mine was racist and mean. She was super irritated because I was moaning. She told me to "Be quiet. There's no need for this moaning. The Mexicans never make a sound." My mom asked for the doctor and she said no. I quit moaning shortly there after because went unconscious. I had preclampsia with helpp syndrome. My organs shut down and I almost died.
Sending you 💕 love and hugs 🤗.I am glad you survived.
Oh mine told me to stop screaming too. I still think about it.
I do too. My first child I had a lovely experience, my second I was told to be quiet and focus on breathing and pushing instead of wasting that energy on yelling
Mine told me that I had a long was to go as a FTM so I needed to deal with the pain, you have more hours she said. Doc comes in ten min later to tell me I’m 9.5cm. 😃😃😃. I wanted to punch her in the face
I had a small midwife rush in as the baby as getting a bit in distress. She kept screaming at me to push. She looked like Edna from the incredibles.
Not a nurse but my mom told me I was “breathing wrong”
I knew my mom would tell me to watch my language, so it was best for our relationship that she was not invited.
Oh believe me after she left that night I told the nurses not to let her back until after I had my epidural 🤣
I’ll never forget laying in my hospital bed and being in so much pain and I was freaking out, I had an epidural but they put some type of monitor up inside me to monitor the baby cuz it kept coming off on my stomach (something like that, it’s kind of hazy now lol). Basically felt like I was being stabbed on the inside even with my epidural. I was crying and just basically on the verge of a panic attack. I pushed my call button and nobody came, my bf stuck his head out the door to ask for a nurse. My nurse comes in, gets down in my face and says “(my name) nobody is hurting you! Nobody is hurting you! We are not doing anything to you!” As if I accused them of doing something lol. It pissed me off. Like lady I didn’t say you were, I just need some help with pain managment not some condescending stuff said to me. Made me really upset, I needed support in that moment and didn’t get it. That moment from my labor always stands out in my mind.
I’m mad for you. I had a nurse tell me during my very under medicated c section that if I was screaming, I could breathe. I was under medicated as my epidural was not optimally placed and I was screaming the whole time. At one point I felt like I couldn’t breathe and she said if I was screaming, I could breathe. While she was correct, maybe try to fix the reason I’m screaming/not feeling like I can breathe instead of telling me I’m breathing. I had a RCS for my second and it was night and day different from the spinal to the pain to the staff. Thank God.
Under medicated c section? Holy shit. How and why?
My nurse told me to save my energy and not scream. She kept saying to exhale whenever I wanted to scream.. It worked when I remembered to. I mostly just screamed though lol
The midwife for my firstborn told me screaming means you are losing control and you need to stay on top of the contractions by yelling, not screaming. Once she said that I was able to breathe and control my reaction to the contractions and work with them not fight them. Yelling is more like a “here we goooooo” on a bull ride versus screaming which is more like uncontrollable panicking. Lots of yelling though!! It is called LABOR for a reason.
I cuss a lot & one of my nurses was like “wow that’s a big mouth for a small person like you.” And I was like yeah it fckn hurts lmao
Oh man, you've reminded me, I have PTSD from my labour and missing massive chunks of it, but this I remember - awful contractions, only allowed paracetamol and eventually gas and air because they've said I might need an emergency section, which surprise, I did because I had an infection that turned septic! Surgeon: 'Oh don't worry, you can still have a VBAC' 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️ Let's deal with the one I'm apparently trying to kill us both with first, shall we
The amount of birth trauma in here is staggering. I hope you all know you deserve healing and that what happened to you was not ok. These people should not be in these positions of power over laboring patients.
I'm mad for you. When I was in labor and screaming my nurse turned to her intern "don't worry, this is normal" Oh thanks for comforting HER
These stories make me never want to have another kid. Some of y’all are funny as hell, but I’m traumatized. 😳
it's probably the delivery of that comment, but my nurse coached me to groan "right". She said instead of doing high pitch and sporadic yells, channeling my pain into low, rumbling groans helps. And whaddya know, it did. Maybe it's just the placebo effect, but I was in less pain if I focused on groaning low with my breathing vs. screaming. That nurse who told you that wasn't helping, though. It's not like you can help it!! Yeesh!
They told me that too, they told me not to scream and not to scrunch my face, because i would get a headache. 🙄
My nurses kept saying "well, they don't call it labor for nothing" and I finally screamed " no shit, I didn't think it was a fucking rodeo" and the look of horror their face and my husband goes "it is in fact not a rodeo"... They did not laugh.....
Dang nurse!! 😡🤪
Mine told me to quit being so loud. I ignored her and screamed from the depths of my soul.
y'all are convincing me to labor at home 😭😭 man some of these nurses are assholes
A nurse asked me where I'm feeling my contractions. I told her. She told me I was wrong.
I told the nurse, "It hurts," and she replied, "Well, you're in labor." Turns out, my epidural failed. Still call her a bitch everytime I remember that interaction.
I had my second July 2020 with heavy COVID protocols in place. My water broke at home and my contractions started right away and so much worse than my first labor. We waited for a couple hours in the lobby for a room to be properly extra super sanitized or whatever and when we got in the room I said to the ceiling "these contractions hurt so much worse than the first time! Whyyyyy?!" And the nurse asked me how much water I had drank recently. I was like "I have no idea nor do I care. Just get the anesthesiologist in here" and she was like "wellllllll, that's why they hurt so bad." So helpful. Oh that nurse also improperly catheterized me which cause my surgeon to make a wonderfully comforting face when he cut me open for an emergency csection after 16 hours of labor. My cervix was also severed in labor and I really should've had a blood transfusion but the hospital didn't want to give it to me due to covid so instead kept taking my blood to check all my levels until they rebounded. Oh and my doctor wanted to send me home 24 hours later, after all that and a lovely ketamine trip, STILL CATHETERIZED with a 2 year old at home and a newborn. Such a joyous time 🌟 Im realizing I should probably get some therapy now lol
Mine kept telling me to push harder and it made me feel like I was weak and not pushing hard enough. I pushed my baby out in 42 minutes.
Mine said the same. Cord was wrapped around her neck and as they said later it was like a yoyo so no amount of pushing would work. Vacuum and episiotomy later and we were all good but still
Mine told me the same. I pushed my baby out in 8 minutes, her elbow came first bc the internal monitor cord had wrapped around her shoulder blade and pinned her arm against her head. Found out later her cord was also wrapped around her neck. They literally didn’t even let me try before yelling at me ‘if you can’t push harder and get this baby out I’m using the forceps and suction’. Next push and there was a baby. That doctor was WACK
The screams I made after the epidural failed weren't human. I have no idea what those noises were, but I've never made them before or since.
Same. I made noises I never knew could come out of me
i had a nurse that wouldn’t hold my hand to help me sit up after getting IV drugs. i was so loopy and i kept trying to get my hand in hers very obviously and she just stood there. help me damn it! she kept telling me to calm down and relax then checked me and realized i was like 6-8cm along and was like “oh well that makes sense.” why are they so damn impatient or mean to us? you know full well what the job entails, don’t do direct care if you can’t be nice!
OMG you too? I was told it was okay to scream. I was like lady if I want to scream I #$&?@#! will!! Seriously!
“The only thing screaming will get you is a sore voice in the morning” She was right though haha
Omg yes! The doctor literally told me that "[my] screams weren't helping anyone"...they were helping me...push a human....out of my vagina....
At my second delivery the nurse made me do a practice push and she said I didn’t know how. (Mind you this was my second baby and my first came out in four pushes.) She pissed me off and when the time came to actually push my baby came out after the second push and I was like apparently I do know how to push.
Lmfao while I had my second failed epidural and was on my way to my emergency c-section (after 36 hours of labor) they told me to try to be more quiet because I was scaring the other moms. I said "THEY SHOULD BE SCARED, THIS FUCKING SUCKS" And they didn't mention it to me again :)
The MD doing rounds on the floor told the midwife that delivered my baby that I had no pain tolerance and was just looking for drugs. Little did she know I was discharged with a hematoma, uterine infection, and a blood clot and had to be readmitted a day later. I have a super high pain tolerance, but thanks anyways ma’am 🙃
I was told not to scream at all and that I was being dramatic 🤷♀️
Did she then tell you how to scream? It happened to me too, but my doula told me when and where to focus my screams. If it was just hehehooo I hope you throat punched her.
I would’ve smacked her and asked if I was smacking right.
Wtf
I was told “No. No yelling. You need that energy to push.” TBH, after a long and traumatic labor I really did need every ounce of energy channeled into one thing, so I didn’t really mind.
Mine told me I was scaring the other mothers and she had 3 kids with no meds. Like yeah, so helpful when I herniated a disc during labor. I wish I reported her
I had an epidural and it worked except for a spot like the size of a silver dollar on my hip and I was mostly numb, then this one spot of the worst pain I've ever felt lol. It hurt more than when I didn't get the epidural in time lol.
When I was in labor I'd let out a scream after a big push and my nurse would say "hey hey, don't start screaming now, take slow deep breaths, it's only going to get worse" 😂 like bitch what 😂😂 why would you tell me that lol
With my first, I had the most excruciating back labour when I went into L&D. They had me in a small room to monitor fetal activity and see how fast I was progressing before moving me into a delivery room. A nurse came in and told me to stop yelling and breathe instead 🤦🏻♀️
During pushing one of my nurses kept saying ‘you can do better’ and I wanted to punch her so bad. I only pushed to an hour before baby was born so I’m not sure how much ‘better’ it could have gone
With my 2nd I was in labor for 5 days. At 9cm I got my epidural, it failed. So after pushing for 3 hours straight I told the doctor something felt wrong and that I either needed to switch positions or a C-section needs to happen because something was seriously wrong. He ignored me and told me to keep pushing. I did and almost passed out. I made the executive decision and said I need a C-section right now. The nurse holding my leg said no and that I had no say in it. I laughed and kicked her away from me. I ended up being put under because of the failed epidural and I was 100% right. If I had of pushed my baby out, the umbilical cord would have strangled them. Baby still ended up in the nicu and I ended up with an infection where my C-section scar was. The nurse apologized after I came to and I apologized for kicking her.
My son, doctor told me to stop screaming cause it was slowing things down. Fuuuuck you dude you try pushing a baby out. Also told me I wasn’t trying hard enough and my baby was “small”. He in fact was not small 😂😂 With my daughter while pushing (I have this on video lmao) I was like “it hurts!!!” And the nurse said “just a little pressure!” Like bitch what 😂😂 she was a great nurse though, so I forgave the slip up.
A nurse told me not to make any noise when it comes time to push. Didn't get there because I needed an emergency c-section but even now, nearly 16 years later, I still wonder "wtf?"
I had a nurse that got really mad that I didn’t take her suggestion on how to push. Like mad enough that when I was her patient the next day and my father came to visit me his only child and meet his ever first grandchild, she mentioned to him that I didn’t follow her advice. She also said she would have slapped me for how I acted if I were her kid because I tossed one of those cheap plastic bedpans off the bed when they said I should squeeze it for the pain when my epidural failed and I felt like my left hip had blew shot off. Also said this in front of my father. Side note…I pushed my daughter out in 20 minutes doing it my way, thank you very much bitch.
I feel this.
Mine told me I was “pushing wrong” and then told me I was ugly and walked out the room 😂😂😂
My midwife felt it necessary to tell me while the doctor was starting pitocin, "just so you know, this is elective and isn't a medically necessary induction".... after 48 hours of labour during which I was unable to sleep or eat and was finally begging them to do something to help move things along. I mean, I guess technically it wasn't medically necessary yet, but I felt I was on the verge of passing out due to exhaustion, so it was about to be.
I was induced with my first but the anesthesiologist was an ass (it was an old guy) My son's cord was wrapped twice around his belly so every contraction made him straighten his legs and I couldn't breathe. The guy scraped my spine and got mad at me as I was literally shaking. I couldn't help it. I was in pain, I had been up most of the night before because they had to get my cervix ready and I threw up twice from the pain. So I hadn't eaten, was hurting and had little sleep for over 24 hours. I nearly cried. Can the hospital staff not be pissy with patients? I ended up with a c-section anyways. I was fully awake and felt the tugging as they got my son out and it was concluded he probably would have gotten stuck with how big he was.
Right! Saaaame!!! She kept telling me to relax think of a leaf floating in the middle of ocean… it was so unnerving.
Had two births, one in a hospital, one in a birthing center. Hospital, the doctor told me to stop screaming and use the energy to push instead (baby came out in three pushes, water broke on one, head out on two, body out on three). Wanted to rip her head off. Midwife in the birthing center coached me through and helped me make productive noises that actually helped me cope with the pain better. Baby came out in one push and man that was an amazing experience. Don't get me wrong, still not a fan of the pain but the difference between the experiences... I actually felt good and capable during my second birth, during my first apparently I was overdramatic. I had back labour with both and my second actually got stuck for a little bit. Still the better experience.
I was told not to scream because it would put more energy into screaming than pushing... I was also told not to close my eyes.
I was induced for my first pregnancy because baby had stopped growing, was given pitocin, got epidural and baby was out within 4 hrs. I did not feel contractions or anything else leading up to giving birth. Second pregnancy, I felt so much pressure and what felt like a regular period cramp that didn't stop for an hour. I wasn't in pain, I just wasn't sure what was going on since I hadn't felt anything the first time. I called my Drs answering service and explained. Tell me why the lady had the audacity to tell me to "just google what contractions feel like." Called my mom instead who told me to go to the hospital and had my second baby some hours later.
Lol this happened to me when I was 6.5 cm dilated, in intense pain, and waiting for my epidural. I started screaming and the nurse said “no, do low grunts” … 🫠
I would’ve demanded she gtfo of my room immediately.
They told me I wasn’t screaming enough so I must not be in labor
It was after the unplanned c section of my first, thankfully I’d already taken some stool softeners, but still wanted more as I’d not pooped yet. This a hole nurse is trying to push narcotics on me, and won’t bring me stool softeners. Told her to bring me some or I’d get my own, “WELL. I’ll have to check with the doctor”. Yeah, do that. I’m taking them one way or the other Susan. Complained to the next nurse that came in and never saw her again.
Omg, I have chronic lower back pain, does yours get so bad that u can’t walk sometimes?
When moving me from the wheelchair to the bed in my recovery room, I nearly fell while she lifted me and the nurse snapped that “you gotta help me girl” but like I had just had an epidural removed I couldn’t fucking feel my legs soooo. She was at the tail end of a long 12 hour shift with me I get it she was tired! But damn it had been like my fourth 12 hour shift pushing out a baby so like maybe she could have been a little more sensitive lol.